Generation X-Hausted

Generation X has been called a lot of things. Cynical. Slackers. We might be cynical, but that's because we got shafted on so many levels. We parented ourselves. We were responsible for ourselves. We became the ones who carried the burden of the environment. We were held responsible for so many people and problems that were not our problems to solve. After decades of aching for change. It's safe to say we are exhausted. 

Transcript

Eileen Kelly (00:00)
We had a brown jug in our basement.

that wasn't labeled, but everyone, know, the family knew to stay away from it because it was chlordane. Chlordane. It's like the most toxic chemical.

Hi, I'm Eileen Kelly. Welcome to Strangers with Kittens. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad I'm here. It's a beautiful day outside here in New Jersey on the East Coast and it hit like 80 degrees yesterday and it was blue skies and sunshine and that is a game changer. I'm not even a summer person. I like rain, I like snow, but I don't know, blue skies and sunshine after not having it for a long time is...

Fantastic. Just put such a spring in your step, you know? I didn't, wasn't, I mean, I'm happy that I could exercise in my basement, but it was really nice to not, to get outside and just take an extra long walk with my dogs. just, it feels good. Soak up some vitamin D, you know? Okay, so I was thinking about being Gen X and how different Gen X is, was.

⁓ The way that we grew up is very different from the way other generations grew up. And I was thinking about how boomers and generations before that grew up feeling like America is the greatest. Every innovation was celebrated.

Every new technology was a triumph and look at us and look at what we can do. Our politicians were, you know, I guess, secretly doing underhanded things, but we didn't know it. And I'm not saying I would prefer that, but

people were able to really believe in things and feel good about it. And then some things happened, including Watergate that changed everything. And that's what we grew up in. We grew up in that climate of like politicians are shady, you can't trust people. There's a lot going on behind closed doors that we don't know about, which is true. And I guess that's why

we are considered so cynical because because we didn't have the luxury of a fairy tale. We grew up when things were pretty messy and ⁓ you know we were young young young kids at the tail end of the of the Vietnam War which was a mess and it was the first time that

the military weren't considered heroes, know. Everything was gray. Everything was, you had to question. And I'm all for that. I don't want to go back to having the wop hold over our eyes. I'm just saying it wasn't easy growing up in a climate where suddenly, you know, our parents didn't know what to do because this was so new to them. And

there wasn't anything to, I don't know, really truly believe in. And then...

There were the ads the Native American crying with just video of littered roads in America. And that was great because it taught us not to litter. But we grew up with that. We grew up as kids feeling like, gosh, that's terrible. We...

we've been bad, we haven't treated the land the way we should. And recycling, which was necessary, but suddenly it was wrangle your siblings and parents into recycling and separating things and putting it out. And I know for me, like my parents were like, what? No, what are you doing? And they would just be annoyed by me and I felt personally responsible.

for the amount of trash that we generated and making sure that recycling happened.

And food, food became more and more processed. were, it was the beginning of Lunchables and Doritos and Bologna, I mean Bologna I guess was probably started in the 50s, but ⁓ you know just cold, cold cuts.

leaning much more heavily on them like instant food because moms were working too and things that were easy for kids to just get themselves out of the fridge or heat up in a microwave or toaster oven. So cup of noodles and ⁓ oodles and noodles and microwavable things and hot dogs and steak-ums and French bread pizzas and you know all these things that

were convenient, but not healthy. And then we're made to feel bad. We have to read every label and we have to not, especially now, like with our kids, right? It was only give them organic and don't, you know, give them food dyes and dyes with petroleum in them. And,

We had to question everything and it's exhausting. And I was thinking about this and thinking, why was that our responsibility? Why? I just feel like we got shafted in so many ways. Why were we fed the convenience foods, which, you know, weren't good for you, and then had to read every label?

and be careful what we fed our kids, which, you know, in other countries, they don't have to do that because the government doesn't allow it. The government doesn't allow petroleum-based food dyes and candy and drinks and... People don't have to work as hard. Consumers don't have to work as hard because they're just not available. The work is done for you, as it should be.

Why are we the ones that have to read every label and do everything and sift through all the crap to get to what's okay to eat?

And then we're made to feel bad about it. We have this obesity problem or we're made to feel bad about that. We're you know, health food related health problems and we're made to feel bad about that. Why is our food so contaminated or tampered with or processed? Why are these foods allowed to be sold? Why do we have to sift through all this crap to get to the real food? Our parents didn't have to do that.

Nobody before us had to do that. ⁓

We just, I know this is my common theme, but it's a common theme because it's the truth. Our generation has had such a weight on our shoulders in so many ways, and I just want to point it out and say to all of you, great job. This has not been easy.

It's not been easy to feel responsible for, like think about all the people we were responsible for. Think about Live Aid. It was great, right? But we were made to feel responsible for those people and we should, right? Like we should feel responsible for each other. We should care about.

people who don't have enough to eat in other countries, but it was so focused on our generation and homelessness, right? And ⁓ I can't think of the comedy. Robin Williams, Whoopi Goldberg, Billy Crystal, the comedy fundraiser that they did for years to combat homelessness, but

And again, great, but our generation was made to feel guilty and shamed and responsible for all of these social problems that we weren't even old enough to vote about, but we were trying so hard to change and feeling just heavy about it.

Yeah, the environment, air pollution, water pollution, greenhouse gases, carbon footprints. Yes, we should all make an effort, but.

Why are Ziploc bags being sold if they're choking marine life? Why are six packs still in plastic rings that I have to cut up with a scissor and feel bad about throwing in the garbage? Why am I plagued with these feelings of guilt and shame over consumption when

There should just be policies about, how about we secure cans in another way? I'm sure there's another way out there. I mean, I'm sure there's some industrial engineer, industrial design person who has probably come up with a bunch of ideas. How about we have compostable?

garbage bags and those are the only bags that are available and they're strong but then they break down in I don't know a month instead of a hundred years instead of sitting there being like do I get the glad flex or the cheap crummy environmentally friendly bag that's probably gonna drop garbage all the way to the curb why is it all on us?

I understand free markets, it's so much stress and guilt on us as consumers. And our generation dealt with that the most and still deals with it.

We got shafted in just about every area of life, really.

We had a terrible economy when we graduated college. We made very, very little money.

The mortgage rates were very high when it was time to start thinking about buying a house.

And as I've said many, many times, then when we became parents, it was all about parenting a verb, the verb parenting, being an active parent, in a, you know, what's your attachment style, being, ⁓ you know, make your kids baby food from organic vegetables and do all the research on vaccines.

and have the living crap scared out of you and agonize over every decision for every vaccine. I don't know. don't, again, I don't want the wool pulled over my eyes. I don't want us to live in some sort of a delusion, but I...

I think what was making me think about this is I was watching Love Story, the JFK Jr., Carolyn Bissette, Ryan Murphy, Hulu series, which I don't if you call it Daryl Hannah's op-ed, but she's not portrayed nicely or accurately from what I understand from her op-ed ⁓ in that series. ⁓

You know, it's a drama and I guess they need a villain and so she was a villain of sorts or is a villain of sorts in it But It's very 90s. it's a fun watch. I mean you just need to understand it's not Entirely truthful, but I really loved that it's focused on carolyn beset and what a baddie she was and how accomplished she was and how influential she was before she ever met him and

It was just bringing back so many memories of that time period, you know, and how great it was in many ways, but just how hard it was to be in your twenties, in the nineties, and how much of a struggle it was and how much was on us, you know?

And then it just made me think of being younger too and how it all kind of started with us. And what's weird is, and this, mean, guess it's not weird because it's always the way, we're considered the slackers. We're considered the cynical generation when we grew up with Watergate and Vietnam and all of the things that I mentioned before.

and we're supposed to what? Believe in Camelot and think that everything's awesome all the time and toe the line.

we grew up having all these responsibilities. I mean, even since we were little, right? As a latchkey kid, having so many responsibilities, being home by ourselves. I mean, a lot of time to think and contemplate, which is good and bad. And then having all these social problems foisted on us when we weren't even old enough to vote and feeling...

On the one hand connected and a part of something which was great, but also guilty and Responsible we just felt responsible for everything and everyone homeless people pollution war You name it it was like you need to do something about this you need to donate you need to

be an activist, know, which are all good things. I just don't, I think it was too much on one generation. You know, I just think those are all good things. And even distribution would be great. clarity around.

what is truly your responsibility and positivity around doing your part and not feeling like nothing you ever do is enough and you know, just kind of feeling like it's all on you and...

I don't know, when it comes to things like complying with recycling I mean, my dad, like, he was older, he wasn't a boomer, he was a silent generation, and ⁓ he had zero consideration for the environment.

We had a brown jug in our basement.

that wasn't labeled, but everyone, know, the family knew to stay away from it because it was chlordane. Chlordane. It's like the most toxic chemical.

And we had a jug of it. And if we had, I don't know, ants or something, my dad would pour it around the outside foundation of the house because it would kill everything. And I mean,

everything. And of course anything in the dirt goes into the groundwater so everyone's drinking that shit. And I mean I think like my brother might have gotten rid of it finally because my dad just thought it was the greatest. And it's like talk about killing a fly with a sledgehammer. It's like I think it's overkill. I don't I don't think you have to poison every living thing.

Including us to get rid of the ants about just a little raid trap. How about that? But there was no connecting Actions with consequences or thinking

people I mean My dad was in his 80s and my kids were my twins were toddlers and he was at my house

or maybe he was like in his late 70s and ⁓ he went to go throw a can in the garbage and I was like, dad, recycling. This has been a law since the 80s and he was like, ⁓ I go, what kind of a world are you gonna be leaving for your grandchildren? He goes, what the hell do I care? I'll be dead. That was the attitude. And I'm not saying that was the attitude of every one of his generation, but.

Probably a lot and I feel like Gen X it's the exact opposite and there might be some sort of female to male differences to like I do think that a lot of women just feel responsible for more than just themselves, But I'm a little jealous of that feeling because I feel like I'm responsible for everyone all the time and

I do feel that a big part of that is growing up Gen X and the afterschool specials and the activism, it was great and it taught us to be involved and informed and yes, cynical, but you know, in a wise way. ⁓ But I also think that we just had

an inordinate amount of responsibility and guilt for lack of a better word, over stuff that we didn't even have any hand in creating and have no power to really change. So I...

I just think that companies need to be policed better. There need to just be uniform rules. Like, just no petroleum-based dyes, period. Like, they're against the law, stop doing it, immediately. Just basic things that other countries don't allow. Some of them have never allowed. I don't think the UK ever allowed petroleum-based dyes. So obviously the human...

race has known that they are toxic for quite a long time.

You know, here everything is left up to us and I don't know about you, but I'm tired. I'm tired of having to figure out which mobile phone company is the least evil. I'm tired of trying to figure out which bank I need to...

changed to who didn't finance Epstein or someone connected with him. I'm tired of figuring out

What's the only refried bean that I can eat that doesn't have chemicals in it? You know, it's just like, can things just be a little easier for all of us? We're exhausted. We're exhausted. And it's just too much. It's too much.

And that's my rant for today. I think that our generation is so fantastic. have, really, think we were the greatest, we are the greatest generation. I think that we shouldered so much and made so many social changes, broke so many generational trauma,

cycles and raised our kids in such a healthy way.

I feel like Zoomers are the perfect balance of in touch with their feelings.

intact healthy boundaries, socially and politically informed, inclusive, aware of diversity, equity and inclusion and how important they are. And they're not perfect. They're

they're still kids, know, I mean, they're in their, you know, some of them are in their twenties now, but, or maybe even 30, I forget now what I think Zoomers is 97. So like 29 maybe. But you know, less of the participation trophy generation and less of the coddled

you know, indulge every feeling generation and more of a balance, more of a like, you know, a kid falls down and skins his knee. It's not, I'm afraid to go tell my parents because I'll get in trouble, which is what Gen X grew up with. And it's not, oh my God, stop the world, Bobby got a skin knee. It's, hey buddy, that hurts, huh? I'm sorry that happened to you. You okay?

Okay, cool.

That's all people need to be acknowledged, to like be met where they are, to not be told they're fine when they're not, to just connect and you know, to say to them, I saw that happened, that sucked. You okay? No? All right, I'll sit with you. You okay now? Cool. Go back and have fun. I feel like that's...

how Gen X kind of raised their kids and it's fantastic. I mean I would see it at sporting events when my kids were younger and on the playground and I thought like we're pretty awesome. We really struck the right balance of

protecting kids and not coddling them. And also, having grown up so feral as we did, and you know, we have great memories. have, you know, memories of just the craziest stuff that we did because anything you could think of, you would do because there was nobody to stop you. And then if it didn't work out,

You just keep it to yourself. I think I've shared with you guys about how my brother and I ⁓ almost got lit on fire by a neighbor when I was five and he was eight. And we never told our parents. Our parents died not knowing that story. Because it was like, all right, thank goodness we live. Now let's not get killed by our parents.

but

there are things that our kids don't tell us and that's good, right? I mean, that's the way it should be because they're individuals and they need to, think kids should have some secrets. I mean, dangerous ones, but ⁓ some secrets from their parents. But I think our generation did a great job of having open lines of communication.

not shaming them with religious stuff as much as we were shamed

look I know that there are plenty of Christian nationals out there that grew up in a very different way in our 18, 19, 20, 25 right now and we're guilted and shamed and controlled and whatever

but for the most part I feel like for the most part

Gen X raised their kids to be fairly tough but not have to fend for themselves and with an open line of communication and acceptance so that they could come to us if something was.

amiss you know i have to say that sometimes my kids would be they they'd be like i have to talk to you and being gen x that is like what what if we have to have a sit down this is going to be like somebody's pregnant somebody's

Some friend, I'm gonna have to call child services on somebody else's family. Like, it's gonna be dramatic. Like, we grew up in the age of after school specials and there's something about Amy. Is that what it was called? With Ted Danson, remember when he was a predator with his daughter? That was a very brave.

role for him to take. But we grew up with shows like that. So when, and we told our parents nothing. So when your kid comes to you and they're like, I need to tell you something, you're like, this is going to be an after school special. And then it's like, is that it? Really? Like it's a little disappointing.

It's not because you're like wow I'm killing it as a parent, but I have to say every time it's still to this day my oldest you know are 22 and Still when they're like can I talk to you? I'm like oh my god. This is gonna be something and then it's so Solvable and okay and Minor by Gen X standards that

I mean, obviously I'm relieved and also feeling like, it's like, we got this, you know, feeling good. But it's just so funny what's a big deal to younger generations when, you know.

You almost get lit on fire when you're five. It kind of gives you a different perspective. You know what I'm saying? And I know there are so many Gen Xers that, you know, may not have a lit on fire when you're five story, but something close, you know, ⁓ something like watching two raccoons get shot by cops on your front lawn or, you know, I want to hear more of your stories because,

I can't get enough of them. They're just so great. So the answering machine is on the website, strangerswithkittens.com. There's also a link for email. There used to be something that you could fill in, but that's not there anymore because I was getting all these like phishing messages. But I really love voicemail.

I really do. I love when people leave messages on the answering machine. It's just fun. You know, I'm still a call people person. I like to hear their voice. I like to leave a message. It just gives it flavor. Reading a text, can't, you know, if someone texts you, you don't know if they're not feeling well or they're tired or they're upset. You know, it's just text on a screen.

leaves a message and they're coughing and their voice sounds all stuffy you call back and you're sympathetic you know but when someone's going through it and they just text you you don't feel it you know so I say bring back the voicemails I say pretend we're in the

early 90s and leave messages for your friends reach out to them or at the very least leave audio messages in their text So they can hear you and hear what's going on in your voice. It's different All right, that's it for me for this week. Thanks so much for being here and Next week. I am going to see you back here with comedian Becky Viduccio. Bye