The Connector Code to Endless Referrals with Phil “The Connector” Herrington

What if the most powerful growth strategy in business was not marketing, ads, or cold outreach but genuine one-to-one relationships done the right way? In this episode of Shine On Success, host Dionne Malush sits down with Phil “The Connector” Herrington, a sales veteran with over 40 years of experience who transformed traditional networking into a scalable referral engine that produced more than 600 referrals in just 18 months. From doing 500 one-to-ones in a single year to mastering the art of long-term follow-up, Phil breaks down how relationship-driven growth truly works and why most people waste the real power of networking without realizing it.

Phil also opens up about resilience, rebuilding after divorce, starting over multiple times, and how faith reshaped his purpose from salesperson to mentor and connector of people. Together, Dionne and Phil explore mindset, consistency, referrals versus introductions, and why staying connected matters more than ever in business today. This episode is a masterclass in turning conversations into collaborations and relationships into sustainable success.

Connect with Phil here:

Website: https://www.skool.com/@phil-the-connector

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/phil.herrington.313/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philtheconnector/

Chapters

• 0:02 From Random Chats To Referrals
• 0:32 Meet Phil “The Connector” Harrington
• 2:09 Systemizing One-To-Ones For Scale
• 2:38 The Law Of Numbers In Sales
• 4:31 Becoming The Connector, Not The Seller
• 6:21 Cold Calling To Mindset Mastery
• 8:11 The Turning Point: Mastering Follow-Up
• 10:22 Building A Referral Engine And Community
• 12:01 The Connector Code: Practical Steps
• 13:28 Redefining Success And Next Moves
• 15:19 Closing Insights And Listener Challenge

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:02

Have you ever walked out of a networking meeting feeling like it was just another coffee chat that went nowhere? My guest today has cracked the code on how to turn those one-to-ones into endless an endless stream of referrals. Phil the Connector Harrington has over 40 years of sales experience, including 33 years of cold calling and more than 5,000 one-to-ones under his belt. But instead of burning out on random networking, Phil built a referral machine that generated over 600 referrals in just 18 months. All this from relationships and conversations most people waste. Today, he's here to share the connector code and show us how to move from chance networking to strategic networking that compounds over time. This is about resilience, consistency, and building a business the smart way, not the hard way. Welcome, Phil. How are you doing today? I'm doing great. Thanks for having me. I'm so excited to have you. And I always like to start with this question what's one thing you'd like people to know about you beyond your title, The Connector?

SPEAKER_01: 0:56

Oh, yes. Uh uh That I am happier off grid than I am on grid.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02

Yeah, I'm starting to feel the same as you, to be honest with you. I remember when I used to love just being around people. Now I'm like, I don't know, but I it's it's kind of a wild balance. I feel like that until I'm in the room. Once I'm in the room, I'm loving it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:14

Yeah, we do a lot of camping, so it gets us that chance to reset.

SPEAKER_00: 1:17

So really cool. One-to-ones are so powerful. I remember I was in a networking group many years ago, and that was the one of the main focuses was one-to-ones. But I remember when I talked to you last time, you talked to me about doing 500 one-to-ones in a in a one year. How did you do that? That is incredible. I I've been telling people about it since we met, and I don't know how you could possibly fit that many people in a year. So tell me about that.

SPEAKER_01: 1:40

Well, yeah, I have to back just back up a little bit to get the mentality. Um, I come from I've been, you know, 40 years in sales and 33 of it was cold calling. So I knew the number, like I just meet people, right? So when I came in the networking, I'm like, everyone will meet. Now you have to remember, I didn't have, I was only the face of the company. I didn't have to do the work. So, meaning we were selling websites at the time, I just had to find the right people and then connect them, and then they would build the website. The company would, not me, right? So I add the ability to 40 hours a week to actually network. So the way we'd set it up is I would sit in one coffee shop. And so if you take control of the conversation and you say, say you're doing in-person networking, you say, Hey, I meet with I do my one-to-ones on this coffee shop on Tuesday, this one on Wednesday, this one on Thursday. Then you can line them all up hour on the hour and then um do five or six every single day.

SPEAKER_00: 2:26

Oh, so there was more so it was more than just like one or two. There were days that you just Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 2:32

We would we would do 10 to 10 to 12 a week, right? Yeah, 40 a month.

SPEAKER_00: 2:37

How did you get business from it? So all of a sudden you have all these conversations. Did it build your business?

SPEAKER_01: 2:41

Yeah, totally. So you can't outdo the when I say the law of numbers, right? So we sold 70 websites that year, but if you look at it, it is only a 14% of the people that bought. What I've learned over doing all this is about 10 to 15% of people are gonna buy from you when you do one-to-ones. And it's not because you're so amazing, it's because you're in the right place at the right time. They need your service at that time, right? So they might have heard about a marketing program, sort of thinking I need to do some more marketing. You know, I need a website, I know my website's broken, that type of thing. I come along, then we head it off. Right timer and they go, Yeah, why don't you build build me a thing for a website? Tell me about it, you know? Yeah. So you can't outdo that law of numbers. So you will get though that that's that sale. And then what we're teaching now, and we could talk about that in a minute, but how to stay in contact with everyone else. Because that's what I didn't do. That's a mistake I made. Now I'm gonna I'm here to help people stop making that mistake, which is if I did 5,000 one-to-one and I stayed in contact with all those people, holy crud, I wouldn't be sitting here right now, probably.

SPEAKER_00: 3:44

Yeah, that makes sense. You know, and I was thinking about something while you were talking, like for internet leads, when a lead comes through for a real estate agent, you know, they're calling a cold total cold call. The numbers are so small. Direct mail, maybe one to three percent. So even at 10 or 15 percent, that's like five times the normal, you know, number to it when you're looking at that. I think what sets it apart is the fact that you're having these warm conversations, even though it's a cold call, right? But you're having a warm, you get to know you, get to see you, get to, you know, talk to you, get to know a little bit about feel. I think it's incredible the idea of it. And I was trying to think about how I can do that in my new business. How can I go out there and meet all of these people versus just going to a networking event once a week? So thanks for sharing that. And I'm sure we'll get into more of that. So, what is the actual power of a one-to-one?

SPEAKER_01: 4:34

So the power is, you know, getting to know them one on a personal level to um what they do. And if you do it can do a good job, now we got all these AI tools and stuff like that, but you should be able to do a good job to really walk away with a clear understanding of what the person does and who they might be looking to be introduced to. So the real, I would say the power of the one-to-one, power of the of the whole networking cycle is to to set yourself up to be the connector. So ask me for anything, anybody you need to meet, and I'm gonna either know them or find them for you. So if you start to be that person, then you get to be a part of all the conversations. Um, but yeah, but back to the power of the one-to-one is just, you know, educate people without ever selling them anything is way, is way more powerful than trying to get them to buy your program today, which a lot of people make the mistake uh is they try to sell what they're doing and they're not even thinking about this network this person has behind them. And they would probably send them more introductions and more referrals if they would take time to build that relationship.

SPEAKER_00: 5:34

So you've been in sales for 40 years, right? And decades of cold calling. What kept you going when most people would be burned out?

SPEAKER_01: 5:41

I think I just always love meeting people, right? And I love the challenge. Um, especially when I was younger, I love the challenge of converting somebody from I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna talk to you today to oh, I'm buying from you today. Because I was I was trained to be a one-call closer. So literally go into a business and stay there until they until they buy something. Now, I don't suggest that anymore. You probably get cops called on you, all that stuff. Now it's it's it's a different world now. But um that that was a fun challenge for me. Plus, I got to meet these small business owners and small town America. We get my just my my juices flowing, even to get rejected. Right. I think what kept me going really, if you want to know, I is the numbers. I knew my numbers. So as soon as you know your numbers, then it's all just a game. So for example, in the in the credit in the credit card world, I needed 30 cold calls, which turned into five appointments, which turned into two and a half sales, and I made about$3,000 a sale. So I just divided out. I imagined handing handing my card out made me$100. So then I was like, oh, well, I'm gonna go pass out this$3,000 today because it's just in the numbers, right? And if you certainly view it that way, then that's what that's what kept me going.

SPEAKER_00: 6:51

I love that. I love the numbers. That excites me too. And I also love the idea of all of the personalities. And I said this to you when we last talk about you're like a modern-day Napoleon Hill. You've interviewed 500 people in a year, pretty much, right? He did that in the course of a while, 20 years, I think. But you know, what he learned from that was incredible knowledge and the principles of success. And I can imagine the takeaways that you had after learning from 500 different people about what they were doing, you know, what how excited they were about being in business, some of the trials and tribulations of it. You learned a lot. I think you probably write quite the book now after a 500, after 500 interviews or one-to-one. So, was there a turning point when you realized networking could be done playing and it could actually produce results instead of just wasting time or having a few drinks or you know, hanging out with everyone?

SPEAKER_01: 7:41

Uh yeah. Um, I remember in 2018 I had written down because salesmen are notorious for not following up. Yeah. And so if you're a salesperson, you're listening, the numbers are 54% of salespeople only follow up one time. So you're missing a ton of business because you don't follow up. And it takes five to 12 contacts for someone to get to know you and re and kind of written and engage with your brand. And the number may be higher now when it's cold. But um, anyhow, I remember writing down I'm gonna master follow-up. And that took me through a long journey of figuring that whole thing out. And now we're like, okay, we're gonna follow up with everybody. We found this unique way to follow up after your one-to-one so that they'll keep sending you more introductions. So I guess the turning point was about 19, 20 months ago, say two years ago, when we decided to start our own company and we said, you know what? We are gonna master this follow-up thing. We're gonna be business matchmakers and match people up that uh have the same heart to serve, have the same heart to collaborate with one another, and then let the magic happen, right? And so um I would say about two years ago, we it finally sunk in that I needed to start beating fewer people and building more quality relationships.

SPEAKER_00: 8:51

That makes a lot of sense. So when I decided to do Shine One Success podcast, it was to help people understand that we all go through adversity and it's how you get up from it or push through it that makes the biggest difference. So can you tell me a time in your life where you had some adversity that may have knocked a lot of people down where you got back up?

SPEAKER_01: 9:08

Yeah. So in 2018, I just got divorced in in seven the end of 17, and I started here in Boise. I didn't know one soul. And so then I amassed a network by just meeting people. I knew I needed to meet people, and that's the only thing I knew. So I so I did that. And even after even after building three uh building other three other people's businesses, and I would build it up, and then they decided we're gonna exit each other. And it did this three times. Starting over is hard, right? So you start over at 41, you think that's the last go, you start over again, and you know, so after four times of starting over, we're like, I think that's the really resilience is just like I just gotta keep doing it until it works out. And then as I started listening more to uh what God had for me and the plan he had for me, then I'm like, okay, I can do it one more time. But uh, I think that starting over is hard, and I think a lot of people start to give up. But yeah, just don't just don't give up, especially if you if like God gave me the name the connector, that's a whole other story, but um, this is what he wants me to do, and so I have to continue to do that.

SPEAKER_00: 10:10

So since we're here, let's talk about that story.

SPEAKER_01: 10:12

Oh, love it. Okay, great. So I had um uh early on, I think it was like in 2018, I went to this men's retreat and um they had this part of the retreat where you write down all the names the world has given you. And for me, it was like liar, cheater. I was in sales, I did whatever it took to get a sale. I wrote down all that stuff that the world had given me. You burn those and then you ask what it what names God has for you. And I he gave me four names. He gave me mouthpiece of God, fearless, because I dealt with a lot of fear, honorable, erasing all the lies and cheating and all that stuff. And then the connector, the connector is the one I took home and said, you know what, we're gonna implement this right away. So I went and said, Hey, my next run of business cards, I want you to put fill the connector on there. And it didn't matter from there on out, whatever I was selling, I was fill the connector, offering websites, fill the connector, doing whatever, right? And so I now see this is my marketplace ministry because I connect people and now the mouthpiece thing is now starting to come in where I'm gonna teach people now how to network properly, how to build those relationships, all that stuff. So it's all come, it's all come full circle, but it took me seven or eight years to get it all together. Um, and now I'm happy to help people speed that process up for themselves.

SPEAKER_00: 11:22

I love that. One of my close friends had a business years ago called follow your customer. And it was far beyond, I mean, like it had to be 15, 20 years ago. He had the idea, right? That follow-up doesn't happen much in sales. And I know as a real estate professional for 21 years, the follow-up is one of the biggest hurdles that we have in this business. And it's to a point where I always tell my agents, even when you close on a house, if you represent the seller, add the buyer to your database too, because chances are really good that the other agents are not going to follow up. My whole career was built, I love the statistics on referrals and you know, networking, getting out there. And when I was actually actively producing and practicing real estate act, I was averaging about 72% of my business from referrals past client network. It was incredible. So when you look at that number, you think, wow, that's that's amazing. But I was really good at the follow-up. I was constantly in front of them doing the things, always reaching out, and it worked. So hearing you today, I start to think anybody that starts in business or getting started or is having a time when you're not really busy and you really want to get, you know, motivated. The idea that you have is so good because it's it can be done. You proved it. It can be done. And I'm that person, like, if somebody does something in front of me, I know that I can do it, then I'm gonna try it, right? I'm not right, no fear if you know it's there. So we all know that Bill did this, right? It's helped build his company. And so if you had to burn all the votes and there was nothing to do, and that was your first thing you did. I think this is one of the greatest pieces of advice you can have as a new business owner or a business owner that needs a restart. So can you tell us a little bit about you know how it works? Like how do you help a small business owner like me get to the Yeah?

SPEAKER_01: 13:02

So so we have an online community, it's a business, uh, it's really built for business owners that are helping business owners. Sorry, if you have a business that's a product or service that can serve a worldwide market, that's who we really help. But um, we send you two vetted introductions every single week. The goal is for you to build out that relationship, and that's it. Like you just, and then you want to stay in contact with them and continue to get more introductions from their network, and then you're we build your network for you. So, like we don't do any meetings, we bring you to our platform and then we start doing, but everybody has to meet me before they come in, so that's where the betting process comes from. And so you have to be uh of good heart and you have to want to collaborate with others, or I'm not I'm not interested in you being there. So um, yeah, so it's fun and it's uh you know, we built it's over 400 members now, and we have lots of people to introduce you to. And I kind of think of it as I'm scrubbing the list for you because I do all the networking and prospecting for all of my uh customers, you know, all of my members, and then we're finding you the best of the best of everything. Because if you think about that, like you said, interview earlier, if I'm interviewing business owners all day long, I'm finding the best of the best, the coolest things, the latest trends, all that stuff. So just listen to me and I'll show you where to go to network and all that type of stuff.

SPEAKER_00: 14:20

So that's great. It's it has to be such an enjoyable business. I know there's stress in all business, but there it's so much good that you're doing. I love it. And I get you have such a great heart, Phil. So let's talk a little bit about someone that's listening today. They feel like they're spinning their wheels with networking. What's the first practical step they should take to start applying the connector code?

SPEAKER_01: 14:41

Stay in contact with every one-to-one you do, and you can do it very simple. I'm gonna tell you what the formula is, and it's very simple. Send a weekly email asking for an introduction to a certain industry that we're getting a 55% open rate on a campaign like that, uh, on that campaign. So it works. So make a list of all the industries that you need introductions to. People are very willing, I prove it every day. They're way willing to give you an introduction the day they meet you, but they will not send you a referral. So, and people are always asking for referrals, they're not asking for introductions, but the law of numbers can't be outdone. So you're going to make sales by building a very large network. So the advice is do your one-to-ones, stay in contact with your uh one-to-ones you, whatever your way of doing that is, just make sure you stay in front of them.

SPEAKER_00: 15:31

So I had a little secret that I can share from my old BI days, which I love B and I. We grew a chapter here in our area and it was very successful. And until I started this brokerage, I was, you know, I was in there for about seven years. But one day I went in there and they went around the table like they usually do. And instead of asking for a referral, I said, Does anybody know the owner of 123 McMurray Way in, you know, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania? And amazingly, there someone uh said to me, Well, I actually live around the corner from there. And I thought, oh, that's such a good idea. So I actually told them about this idea of instead of going in asking for the referral, try to find someone that lives near that area that may know that person. And I can tell you how much that increase might because it was just a new way of doing it. Instead of I do this, I do that, I do this, introduce me to this because it was a for sale by owner, this for sale by owner, this is the street. Do you know them? So that was kind of so good. And you're in a different city and everything. Yeah, yeah. So I would just be like, Yeah, so it because I pulled them up because I was so adamant every day going check in the for sale by owners, and then I'd find out who they were, what their name was, and then I'd go to the meeting talking about, hey, do you know Mary Smith that lives at 123 Big Warry Way? Yeah. So that's so good. I thought it was pretty good. They they definitely were excited about that. So a lot of what we do as business owners has to do with mindset. And without having a positive mindset, it's defin difficult to get through a day. So, how important has mindset been in your journey from cold calls to referrals to you know all the things that you've had happen in your own life? How important has that been?

SPEAKER_01: 17:02

So important. You gotta work on your brain. What's beautiful about the brain is that it can you can actually um regrow your entire way you think of things and uh I guess neuroplasticity or something like that. And I started studying the brain right after my divorce, and it's amazing the new, I'm a completely different person from that relationship because I intentionally grew my mindset. So if you're gonna listen to books, I listen to anything on sales or anything on, you know, uh business products or whatever, I listen to it two times speed because I'm just looking for the nugget. They all have something to say, and that there's a nugget in there of that one thing, you know, and so one or two things. So just listen to listen to books. I did a ton of that, listen to podcasts, keep yourself in a positive place. The five people that you hang around with is gonna make up how you think about things and what your money is actually going to be. So if you're gonna have relationships with people, just make sure they're with the right type of people. If they throw your idea down, you might want to exit from that relationship, at least when you talk about business. Not to say you can't hang out with them, just maybe don't talk about business with them, right? There's no reason they'd be pulled down.

SPEAKER_00: 18:09

Right. They don't know, they're not in business, they may not know what you're going through. And it's kind of hard to take advice from someone that doesn't. I'm with you.

SPEAKER_01: 18:15

Yeah, but the mindset is so, so important. Whatever you got to do to keep that mindset up, definitely do that. And that's what you find in these groups and stuff like that, the networking groups, everything. You find everybody is being positive and wanting to grow their business. So you want to be in an environment where there's growth happening and people are encouraging you.

SPEAKER_00: 18:33

Yeah, I love that. So you said something about nuggets. And one thing about one of my favorite books, which is Think and Grow Rich, is that when you read it, there's always the secret to success is there. You just have to find it. And for everybody, it's different, you know, and it's not just success with money, it's life, it's marriage, it's relationships, it's success in the whole, right? And so if you read it over and over again, and one of my friends has read it nearly 170 times. And when he reads it, he reads it at a different angle. And he had a stroke a couple of years ago. So he read it to help himself get through that. And he got through that with flying colors, actually. And he believed he could, right? So he started with all the principles of what he learned and think and grow rich and put that towards that one thing. So I love that idea because listening on even on fast speed, you're still hearing your subconscious is hearing, right? So I do the same thing. I always put it on fast speed, and sometimes I'm like, oh, so hold on, I gotta turn that back. I want to hear that. Thank you for sharing that. So, how do you personally define success now compared to when you were deep in the grind of cold calling?

SPEAKER_01: 19:32

Yeah, um, now it's interesting. Now that I've made this transition from identifying as a salesperson and now identifying as a mentor, um, a teacher, a leader. I identify my success by my students, like the people that are implementing the things that I'm teaching, and they're excited about, you know, not just the introduction, but implementing something that can really grow their business. And I love when I can, I can, I can help somebody get ahead, right? It's like, That time machine, you know, you're always like looking at your kids going, Hey, I wish you knew. But in business, guys, find that person that's already done or is further along in the journey of what you want, and then ask them to mentor you. Just ask them. And it's not happening anymore, and it needs to.

SPEAKER_00: 20:14

And people surprisingly want to help if you ask, they love sharing their story if you just ask. One of my favorite things that I say a lot is the most powerful three-letter word in the English language is ask. And you can know unless you ask. And I ask a lot of things and a lot of times. And I'm just not, I am not fearful of that word because it's so powerful. So ask everyone. If you have a question, ask Phil. So that takes me to this. What is the biggest takeaway you want people listening to walk away with from you?

SPEAKER_01: 20:41

As you're going to these networking meetings and meeting people and everything, just remember that you're one connection away. One connection away from a big collaboration that could blow up your business. One connection away from a good friend, one connection away from what have you. So one customer was fun. I got the customer and I counted back the introductions 16 generations back. Meaning I got introduced over and over and over and I said yes to all those to get to that person.

SPEAKER_00: 21:08

That is amazing.

SPEAKER_01: 21:09

And so just you never know what their wife does, what they're transitioning, they're pivoting. Doesn't matter. Even if they're in the exact same, you think they're in the exact same industry as you, everybody looks at it through a different lens, and there's always collaboration that can happen.

SPEAKER_00: 21:24

Love that one. So what's next for you in the connector community?

SPEAKER_01: 21:27

You know, um, we wanna, we wanna, our goal is to get to a million members by 2030. We want to be like the Walmart, if you will, a connection platform, and then all the members do the items on the shelf, if you will. And we're gonna go out and find disorganized communities. And what I mean by that is they got a great message, they're helping their people, they're having their meetings, they're teaching, they're whatever, but they don't have a good directory for their people to easily connect with each other. And we're gonna take on the directory side of things and then open up those communities um to everybody. So as more communities join, just more people you can meet that are of the same mindset, and we just want to create a synergy around just just meet the right people and and you don't need to meet a ton of people, you seem to be all the right people, you know? Cool. And so, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 22:11

I actually met someone from Boise, Idaho once, and they they traveled to my house because I had this brilliant idea that I wanted to share. And he, I think he moved away, but I I'm gonna connect you with him because I think there is something really cool. I don't know if he still lives there or not. I think he may have moved, but he has a really good connecting story, so I'm gonna connect you with him. Where can people connect with you if they want to learn more or start applying the connector code?

SPEAKER_01: 22:31

Yes, just have people go to school and look up the connector school, spelled the same way as school. S-K-O-O-L. I did that on purpose. Yeah, I feel about the connector school. And so we are uh just teaching people this framework of how to have a true one-to-one and get an endless stream of introductions and then dive into other people's networks by being awesome.

SPEAKER_00: 22:52

You know what I love about your story is that you top what most people see is wasted time, coffee, chats, one-to-ones, random networking, and build a machine that now fuels your business with endless referrals. I know it didn't happen overnight. I know it wasn't easy. You know, you can meet 500 people in a year and not be tired, right? That year could catapult your business. And so if anybody walks away and thinks, I'm gonna be challenged by this opportunity, I'm gonna meet 501 people in a year to one-to-one so we can beat Phil. If anybody's challenged, let me know. And I'd like to know and follow your story. So, you know, you don't have to throw money away at marketing that doesn't work, although there's plenty that does. The idea of that no, like, and trust is still one of the best ways to meet anybody in any industry. So thank you, Phil. Thank you so much for being with me and sharing the connector code and some of your tips. And to everybody listening, you know, if this conversation sparked an idea, share it, subscribe to it, pass it along because the best connections start with just one introduction.