Fake Electors, Trump’s Kennedy Center Loophole & Drunken Axes! WTF?

Fake electors are back in the news, and the latest development raises one hell of a question about accountability after the 2020 election. 
Jeff takes on a story that somehow manages to become even more infuriating the deeper you get into it.

Donald Trump’s White House ballroom battle has now landed at the Supreme Court, with an incredibly bizarre reason from Trump for why his ballroom should be allowed to go ahead. 
You really have to hear this one to believe it.

Meanwhile over at the Kennedy Center, somebody appears to have discovered that when one approach doesn’t work…there may be another way to get Trump’s name on the building. 
Jeff has some thoughts about where this particular naming obsession could eventually lead.

Then Jeff and Natacha go shopping at an Arizona strip mall and notice something across the parking lot. Curiosity gets the better of them. 
What they discover produces one very simple question: Who the hell thought THIS was a good idea?

From presidential politics and the Supreme Court to a completely unexpected return to the spirit of News From The Edge of Sanity, this one goes places even Jeff wasn’t expecting.

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Transcript

World Gone Mad Opening

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This is a world bomb.

unknown 0:04

This is a world bomb mad.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

From Studio 19, I'm Jeff Allen Wolf, and this is definitely a world gone mad. Outrageous!

Nevada Fake Electors Case Dismissed

SPEAKER_00 0:17

The fake electors case was dismissed. Let me remind you what happened after the 2020 presidential election. Because apparently we've reached the point where something this insane requires a refresher course. Joe Biden won Nevada by more than 30,000 votes. But six Republicans gathered outside the Nevada legislature, signed a certificate declaring Donald Trump the winner of Nevada, and passed themselves off as the state's legitimate presidential electors. They weren't. They were fake electors. It was phony. They then submitted that certificate as part of an effort to give Nevada's six electoral votes to Donald Trump. Nevada eventually charged the six with crimes, including forgery and offering a false document. Prosecutors argued the whole point was for their electoral certificate to be treated as legitimate when Congress counted the electoral votes on January 6th. The defendants said no. They weren't trying to fool anybody. They described what they did as essentially political theater and argued they were preserving their ability to challenge the election results. Now a Nevada judge has dismissed the case. Seriously? Why? The judge found there wasn't enough evidence that these people actually intended to deceive government officials. Part of the judge's reasoning was that they did what they did openly. They weren't hiding in somebody's basement wearing ski masks and whispering, quick, somebody forged Nevada before the cops get here. They did it publicly. Therefore, the judge concluded their openness weighed against finding fraudulent intent. She also ruled that prosecutors failed to give the grand jury evidence that could have helped the defendants. Holy shit, you've got to be kidding me. So apparently the lesson here is if you're going to do something outrageous, don't hide it. Bring a camera crew, live stream the son of a bitch. Maybe sell commemorative t-shirts in the parking lot. Because somehow doing something right out in the open is now evidence that you didn't intend to deceive anybody. They signed a certificate declaring Trump the winner of Nevada. He lost Nevada. This isn't a difference of opinion. This isn't two guys sitting in a bar arguing over whether the Raiders got screwed by the football referee. There was an election. People voted. The votes were counted. Biden won Nevada by more than 30,000 votes. And these people signed a document declaring Trump the winner and themselves the legitimate electors. What exactly do you have to do before we're allowed to call something an attempt to deceive? If I walk into a bank wearing a homemade badge that says federal bank inspector, hand the manager a document saying I'm authorized to remove $50,000 from the vault and then explain afterward that I never actually intended anyone to believe me. Are we good? Apparently, I just needed to live stream it. And I understand the legal issue. Criminal law requires prosecutors to prove specific elements of a crime, including intent. Courts don't get to say, this smells like bullshit. Lock everybody up. Nor should they. Prosecutors have to prove their case. But there's a gigantic difference between understanding why a legal standard exists and looking at the result and saying, what the hell are we doing? Because think about the precedent culturally, if not legally. You lose an election, you get together with your friends, you declare yourselves the legitimate electors, you sign paperwork awarding electoral votes to the guy who lost. Then years later you can argue, come on. Everybody knew what we were doing. We weren't exactly subtle about it. That makes it better. Since when did incompetence become a defense against accountability? And Nevada isn't even alone. Fake elector cases in Michigan and Georgia have also been dismissed. And Arizona recently dismissed this case, while the Attorney General there says she intends to seek a new indictment. Nevada's attorney general says he'll appeal this ruling as well. But right now, look at where we are. People participated in an effort to substitute electoral votes for the actual result of a presidential election. And years later, we're still debating whether anybody can actually be held criminally responsible for it. So I have a question. If pretending to be the legitimate presidential electors from a state you know your candidate lost isn't enough, what exactly would be? Do they have to show up at the Capitol carrying a giant neon sign that says, hello, we're trying to overturn an election? Because apparently the fake certificate wasn't clear enough. Hey Wolfpack, if we lose this coming midterms, whatever state we lose in, why don't we just do the same thing? Fake the results, declare our side the winners. Hell, let's all become fake electors. Apparently that's how democracy works now. Of course, knowing our luck, because we're Democrats, we'd be the ones who actually wind up in court. They'd convict us in about 12 minutes, deny our appeal, and somehow we'd wind up serving 20 years in a Siberian prison that I'm pretty sure isn't even under American jurisdiction.

Trump Ballroom As National Security

SPEAKER_00 6:41

Remember Trump's $400 million White House ballroom? Of course you do. How could you forget? We've been following this thing like it's the world's most expensive episode of HGTV. Well, last week a federal appeals court ruled two to one that Trump can't continue the above-ground construction without congressional approval. The courts have allowed that underground security work to continue. So underground bunkers, bomb shelters, military and medical facilities can continue, work necessary to protect the president and secure those facilities. Those facilities can continue. But Trump wants the ballroom construction to continue. So now he's gone to the Supreme Court with an emergency appeal, and the White House says completing this project is, and I quote, vitally required by national security. National security? You have got to be fucking kidding me. We've apparently reached the point in America where a ballroom is a matter of national security. Forget missile defense, forget cybersecurity, forget nuclear weapons. Somebody get the Pentagon on the phone. Tell them we're dangerously low on chandeliers. The administration argues that this is all part of a larger secure complex. There are underground military facilities, bomb shelters, protection against drones, and legitimate security concerns. And after the shooting at the White House, the correspondence dinner in April, Trump argued that that attack would never have happened if the event had been held in his new ballroom. Okay, but there's a problem. The court already allowed the security work, the underground stuff, to continue. The bunkers can continue, the military facilities can continue. The work necessary to protect the president can continue. So what exactly is the national security emergency requiring the ballroom? Is Vladimir Putin going to invade unless we get the parquet flooring down by Labor Day? Are the Chinese monitoring the construction from satellites saying, General, America remains vulnerable? They still haven't installed the crystal sconces. And this is what drives me fucking crazy. National security is supposed to mean something. Those words carry enormous weight because sometimes presidents genuinely have to act quickly to protect this country and the people in it. You don't turn national security into the presidential equivalent of calling shotgun. I want this national security. Court said no, national security. Congress hasn't approved it. National fucking security. And where does Trump go when somebody tells him no? The Supreme Court. Again. It feels like in Trump's mind, the Supreme Court has become his personal emergency customer service desk. Press one if a lower court pissed you off. Press two if Congress won't give you what you want. Press three if your ballroom is experiencing a national security emergency. And Clarence Thomas will be with you shortly. This is the Supreme Court of the United States. It's not Trump's complaint department. It's not nine justices sitting around waiting for the president to ring a little bell because somebody downstairs, Trump, he couldn't have dessert. The appeals court made its decision. Trump doesn't like it. Fine. Appeal it. That's Trump's right. But spare me the idea that America's national security is somehow hanging in the balance because construction on a 90,000 square foot ballroom might have to stop. If our enemies can defeat the United States because Donald Trump doesn't have a ballroom, we've got much bigger fucking problems than construction delays. Maybe the Pentagon needs a new branch of the military. Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Space Force, and now Ballroom Force. Their motto? No chandelier left behind.

Kennedy Center Trump Name Workaround

SPEAKER_00 11:17

And speaking of Donald Trump and buildings, remember the Kennedy Center? Yeah, that Kennedy Center. The one actually named for John F. Kennedy. Last year the board decided Donald Trump's name should be added to it. They put the letters right there on the building. Then a federal judge said essentially, no, you can't do that shit. Congress named the Kennedy Center. The board doesn't get to name it. Trump's name had to come down, and in June, down it came. Well, Wolfpack, apparently somebody looked at that court ruling and said, okay, technically, what if we don't rename it? Because I swear to you, this is what happened. Thursday, the Kennedy Center Board voted to put Trump's name back on the building. This time underneath the Kennedy Center's name with the words Restored and Renovated by President Donald J. Trump. They also voted to close the main building for two years for renovations. And because apparently we haven't stroked Donald's ego quite enough, renamed the grounds President Donald J. Trump Plaza. You've got to be fucking kidding me. They found the political equivalent of a five-year-old saying, but Mom, you said I couldn't have a cookie. You didn't say I couldn't have an Oreo. Fine. We won't rename it. We'll just carve Trump's fucking name underneath it. The Kennedy Center. It's a national memorial to John F. Kennedy. The man has been dead for more than 60 years, and apparently he's still fighting for top billing at his own memorial. And I love the wording. Restored and renovated by President Donald J. Trump. Oh, thank God. Because when I go to a performing arts center, the first thing I want to know is who picked out the drapes? Do we get little plaques everywhere now? This carpeting brought to you by Donald J. Trump. These toilets, proudly refurbished by the 47th President of the United States. Maybe uh every time you flush the toilet, it plays Hail to the Chief. And now the grounds may become President Donald J. Trump Plaza. Of course they may. Why stop at the building? Name the parking spaces after him. Trump valet parking. Trump loading dock. Trump emergency exit. Hell, put a little gold plaque on the dumpster. Refuse collected and restored by President Donald J. Trump. At this point, Washington is starting to look like a NASCAR jacket. There's going to be a Trump logo on every available piece of real estate. What's next? The Lincoln Memorial restored by Donald J. Trump. The Washington Monument just put Trump vertically down the side in giant gold letters. Ah shit. I just gave Trump supporters some ideas. Mount Rushmore is going to be a problem only because there's no vacancy. And if we're going to start putting the name of every president who renovated something on a building, Washington is going to need a lot more wall space. By 2050, you won't be able to find the entrance to the Kennedy Center because you'll still be reading the credits. Coming soon to Washington, D.C., the United States of America. Restored and renovated by Donald J. Trump. And if restored and renovated by Donald J. Trump gets shot down by the courts also, don't worry. I'm sure they'll find something else. How about the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts, occasionally visited by Donald J. Trump? Or Donald J. Trump once attended a performance here. Or a plaque that says, Donald J. Trump drove past this building on his way to dinner. Just keep lowering the bar until something sticks. At this rate, Trump doesn't need his name on the building. He just needs an asterisk underneath John F. Kennedy that reads, Donald Trump was also here.

A Bar That Lets You Throw Axes

SPEAKER_00 15:53

And finally, I used to do a segment on Fridays called News from the Edge of Sanity. For those of you that listened and enjoyed that segment in the past, I'd like to share with you a story in that vein from real life. So Natasha and I were out and about yesterday in the early afternoon, and we parked in the parking lot of a strip mall. You know, lots of different stores. And as we got out of the car, we looked across the parking lot, and about 150 feet away were these huge bold letters on the side of a building. Social axe throwing. And the first thing I said to Natasha was, What the hell is that? Now Natasha and I are curious people, so naturally had to investigate. We started walking toward that building, and as we got closer, I noticed all these names on the ice outside wall of this place. Cutwater, Hennessy, Shivis, Kors. And I'm thinking, okay, maybe it's a liquor store. Weird fucking name for a liquor store. Social axe throwing. But maybe there's some hipster marketing concept here that I'm too old to understand. The door was locked because it was too early for the place to be open. So we both looked through the window, and we could see that this was a bar. Okay, a bar. Now I think I understand. Social. You sit around drinking with others, shooting the breeze, throwing out thoughts, throwing around ideas. Maybe axe throwing is some new expression that the kids are using now. I don't know. I'm not a kid anymore. Half the time I need an interpreter just to understand these young people. Then Natasha continues to look through the window to the left of the bar, and she sees cages. And there are targets, and there's a scoreboard. And there are fucking axes hanging on the wall. This isn't a metaphor from me. This is a bar where people drink alcohol and then participate in the sport of picking up an ax and throwing it at a target. Natasha looks at me completely straight faced and says the following. Exactly, I thought. There are certain business plans where you really want to have been in the room for the risk assessment meeting. So visualize this, Wolfpack. Okay, uh, what's the concept? People throw axes. Great, uh, anything else? Yeah, let's get these people drunk first. Perfect! Can can somebody call our insurance company? And the truly amazing part is axe throwing bars are an actual entertainment category. This isn't some guy named Earl who cleared out his garage and put a refrigerator full of Budweiser next to a tree stump. There are businesses all over the country where you can have a couple of drinks and throw sharpened pieces of metal across a room. Just for fun. Now, just to be fair, these places generally have strict safety rules. They have designated throwing lanes, supervision, rules about where you can have alcohol, and they can stop visibly intoxicated customers from throwing. So it's not supposed to be here's your eighth shot of tequila, Jeff. Now see if you can hit that target while standing on one leg. But still, somebody had to come up with this concept. Somebody sat somewhere and thought, you know what Americans need? A recreational activity that combines the judgment enhancing properties of alcohol with axes. We don't let people drink and drive because alcohol impairs their judgment. You don't want drunk people operating heavy machinery. We tell people not to use power tools after they've been drinking. But apparently there's a little asterisk at the bottom that says, unless you're throwing a sharp object recreationally, then it's okay. And where did this progression start? Was bowling not dangerous enough? Throwing darts weren't getting the adrenaline going anymore? And drunk darts apparently got rejected for being insufficiently ambitious. So somebody said, make the dart three pounds, put a wooden handle on it, and charge admission. What's the next franchise opportunity? Margarita chainsaw tag? Bourbon archery practice? How about happy hour javelin throwing? Or two for one martinis and a complimentary crossbow? Somewhere there's an entrepreneur listening to my podcast right now going, Holy shit, let's write these ideas down that Jeff just said. And I know there are precautions. I know millions of people apparently do this without embedding an ax in somebody named Kevin. I understand that. But I'm still standing outside this place, looking through the window of this place, then looking back at the axes on the wall, then looking to the right, looking at the bar, thinking the same thing Natasha said when she first saw all of this through the window. Who the fuck thought mixing alcohol with deadly weapons was a smart idea?

Emails Subscribing And Final Message

SPEAKER_00 21:55

Wolfpack. I know it's a summer, you're very busy, but you're taking a few minutes to listen to this podcast, and I I thank you for that. I would love for you to send me an email with your thoughts and comments, wolfpacktalks at gmail.com. And please subscribe to this podcast. It's free, there's no obligation. But when you subscribe, you automatically get notification on a new episode to make it easier for you to listen. And if you would really like to help me, if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts, that goes a long way. Please check out my Substack. It's also free. Go to Substack if you don't have the app. Search for me, Jeff Allen Wolf, The Wolf's Den. Please subscribe to that as well. And again, there's no obligation. I'm Jeff Allen Wolf. This is definitely a World Gone Man. I'll be back Monday. Until then, IRG the Wolfpack. Remain skeptical, question everything, please don't lose hope. And most of all, stay alert.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

There is chaos in the world. Can't you see? And we need to stand up and preserve our democracy. This is a world understand. This is a world time.