In this episode, I reflect on one of the most meaningful days of my life—the day I graduated with a Master’s degree in Strategic Communications and Public Relations.
Yet, what I celebrate most is not simply earning a graduate degree. I celebrate graduating to a new level of self-awareness and understanding of my own needs.
As someone who often felt as though I had to rear myself, much of my life has been a journey of trial and error. One of my greatest lessons has been learning that not every thought, dream, challenge, or victory needs to be shared with everyone. For years, I processed life through conversation—sometimes as a form of catharsis, sometimes because I needed feedback, and often because I was simply excited about life and eager to share its possibilities.
Today, I find great peace in celebrating myself with me, myself, and I first.
I have learned to be intentional about whom I invite into my inner world and when. These days, I often share my victories, lessons, and plans after they have come to fruition rather than while they are still taking shape. There is a sacredness in protecting what is growing.
When I was a teenager, my very wise Panamanian grandmother often told me, “Never let your right hand know what your left hand is doing.” At the time, I thought she was simply warning me about high school friendships and gossip. It would take me decades to fully understand the depth of her wisdom. She was teaching me the value of discretion, discernment, and protecting what matters most.
So, on May 15, 2026, I stood in profound gratitude—not only for earning a master’s degree, but for persevering through some of life's greatest challenges. I endured the loss of my father, navigated the heartbreak of the realities of chronic illness within my family, planned and executed my father's Salsa Celebration of Life, continued showing up for both my immediate family and my work family, wrote my first self-reflection journal, and carried countless other responsibilities along the way.
The diploma represents academic achievement. But the woman who walked across that stage represents something even greater.
She represents resilience.
She represents growth.
She represents healing.
And in many ways, she represents a graduation in life itself.
Take a listen as I share the lessons, reflections, and gratitude that accompanied this extraordinary milestone.
SPEAKER_00
All right, today is graduation day, my people. Today is graduation day. So many thoughts. And um I'm gonna jump around as they hit me. So I just ordered a digital recorder. I usually use my phone to record um anything that I share with you, or just um I use my phone as my diary. In one of my sharings, and I like to call this podcast, I like to refer to it as my sharings. I talked about the fact that I mentioned me, myself, and I, or, and I mentioned that rather than pick up the phone and call and talk to everybody and tell everybody every detail of my innermost thoughts, I acknowledge the fact that we are all flawed humans and we all have a lot of things going on in our lives, we all have insecurities, and I'm I'm saying it a lot softer, I'm sure, now than I was feeling it then. Then I would have said dysfunctions. Um, and yes, including me, we, you know, I'm a product of dysfunction. So it was dysfunctional of me to uh live in a fairy tale land and think that um everyone that smiles on your face is for you. But not only that, it was dysfunctional of me to have the need um to for everybody to be as happy and as elated and um as I am in the moments that I shared, or that people really needed to hear all of my struggles and troubles. And, you know, I'm clear that I needed what I need that it helped me to survive on one hand, and again, I always share say two things can exist at the same time, especially for this Gemini woman that I am. So, you know, I can I I needed it because of the level of development I was at at the time. Uh it helped keep me sane. Getting it out was the best that I could do because I wasn't always in a position to pay for therapy, even though I'm an uh uh advocate of therapy, of going to therapy. Um so, but at the same time, it was it was dysfunctional to have to tell someone every but I realized that I was looking for a bond. I was looking for a bond. I was looking for my mommy, I was looking for a mother. Um that type of bond where someone can listen to you and support you and love on you and and cry with you and be a good example or give you some advice, you know. I reared myself. I had to rear myself. Not blaming anyone is just a fact of my particular life. So when I share, it's actually like my diary. I when I share with you, it's like my diary. I'm sharing with you my what I would have written in a diary, but also I rather share with you, or I rather just record it for myself than continue to be that person who's constantly sharing with others. I have a need to release verbally. I don't enjoy the process of journaling by writing, even though I write everything else down. But when it comes to my thoughts, my thoughts flood me my brain so quickly that writing is a chore. Um, I don't mind typing it sometimes, but really I'm an auditory learner, so speaking is my thing. And um so I'm very excited. One, that I purchased this uh device. It's my graduation gift to myself. A friend of mine dropped stopped by another gift. My first gift, so the graduation gift to myself is second actually. My first gift was that my uh friend and carpool friend uh sent me a text and said, I left something at your door, happy graduation day. And she liked me, loves, pays attention to details when it comes to gifting, and gave me the most beautiful flowers in the most stunning chic vase. I'm a vase girly, I'm a flowers girly, I'm a detailed girly, and she gave me a beautiful graduation card with the cap and the tassel, and she wrote what wonderful words in it about me persevering, and um, you know, then she gave me a beautiful journal. I love gray, and gray is actually on my walls throughout my house, and she gave me a gray journal with my name Mariella in it, on it rather. Um, it has a beautiful magnetic clip. It comes with a beautiful pen. As a writer, a journal is like the best thing, and even though I said I don't journal, I use journals for planning and my life's purpose, and um yeah, I use it for for that. I use journals often, just not for my day-to-day thoughts. Every now and then I'll write my thoughts, but or my uh when things hit this particular journal, I'm gonna use for the you know, when things hit me, like I'm line one-liners always hit me, and I never really have a place for it, so I'm gonna use it for that. Coupled with the recorder that I just ordered. It just makes sense that I would going forward have a recorder for my journals and to download my sharings with you, my thoughts, my diary with you. So um, I'm actually working um doing running some dockets for the firm that I work for, and then I'm going to do my parent affirmations. My affirmations, it's so lovely to see them being checked off one by one. You know, um that my dad's very successful Salsa celebration of life was one, I can check that off. Um, now graduating was another, I can check that off, and the list goes on. So it's just beautiful um to see that happening. Uh, I I when I woke up this morning, I looked over one more time the mommy toolbox and um that I sent to my editor yesterday, and I was able to send her like seven follow-up emails with some things that I noticed that I needed to add or correct. Uh, so I feel very fulfilled there. Um and I'm just feeling fulfilled, things are falling in place, things are in alignment. You know, it's so wonderful when you quiet the noise, when you isolate yourself sometimes. And I'm not, I never fully isolate myself, but when you isolate yourself from people that my grandmother would say have bad eyes, you know, people that are that are just naturally uncomfortable with your energy, so they the discomfort appears as jealous energy, making faces, not engaging with you when, you know, at times, at odd times, even though they claim to be your friend, making snide comments about how what you look like or why you're so dressed up, um, cop purchasing the exact same things that you purchase. Um, or you could just feel it, you know, it's so strong that you could just feel it. Um, or talking behind your back, and then you walk into the room, and you, because you are a hypersensitive, intuitive, uh, clairvoyant person, you feel that something is off in the room, and then you realize it's connected after you connect the dots, or after those people reveal themselves by what they say to you, or what they say to others, and it gets back to you, you you you realize, excuse me, that the energy that you've been denying because that person is close to you, that person's supposed to love you. But when you stop engaging, excuse me, so sorry. When you stop engaging, and I'm gonna be quick before that happens again. Had to blow my nose, but when you stop engaging, stop perpetuating the toxicity by sharing all your business, scattering your energy, which is against universal law. Not don't scatter your energy by talking too much about your business. You have a confidence of one or two, three at the most. Um, you share, and if you must share, share with people who've already accomplished the things that you desire. Because in the likelihood, you know, share with people who represent where you want to be in life. They've arrived already, so there's no need to compete. Or don't share at all. Record, get a device that you can talk to, talk to yourself, play it over and over again, and be gratified by the presence of the whole concept of me, myself, and I. So, on that note, happy graduation day to me. My son also gifted me by saying that he, you know, asking me if I had plans. I said no, I was hoping we go out to dinner. He asked me how many people and recommended a restaurant. I so that's also a gift because I initially was going to attend my graduation by myself. So it's a gift that my daughter insisted on coming, and my, you know, my grandson is excited, was asking about what he's gonna wear. And uh another um another sister asked me to come early on, and another sister who's who ha has been in my life before my children were even born, um, will attend the graduation. Um, but the dinner will be just the immediate family because we never we rarely get a chance and immediate family, including my my bonus daughter by way of my uh son's lady of several years. Um, she's uh joining and she wanted to come, and I think that's very kind and loving of her. So we will have another family picture, you know. So this is always this is always a great opportunity. So as a woman of a big age, onward and upward, for me, I have plenty to do. I have um, I am a multi-faceted, multi-talented person. I am in my book, The Mommy Toolbox, I wrote that my children are multifaceted or multi-creatives, but I am also. And while it doesn't feel humble to say that, it is true. So I proudly claim it. So because of that, I have many, plenty of things to do, and I have plenty self-care regimens to um engage in. And uh I'm blessed. I'm blessed to be loved by not just my immediate family, but even my family at work. They uh have supported me through this process, they are very happy for me. The congratulations keep coming. Um, the chairperson said, Oh, you know, we need to do something for you. We need to get cupcakes for you. I mean, you know, she said, I wasn't aware that you were doing this. It's just the love that I feel, you know. I didn't feel loved much growing up, but when I tell you that I've taken that and I've given love to so many, and for them to give me back the love, particularly on a day where that means so much to me, my graduation day with my master's um of arts degree, my family, my family of friends, the ones that know, there are a lot that don't that don't know or haven't asked, you know, and that's fine too, you know. But the ones that are aware because they've been in my they've been asking me about it, and so I've shared. Um, I am I feel so loved. I feel so loved, and I am grateful. I'm grateful to God, the universe, to my family, to my family of friends, and I'm grateful to me for following my dreams. Peace and love. Ciao for now. To be continued.
