@drjoyshow
thedrjoyshow@gmail.com
@drjoyshow
thedrjoyshow@gmail.com
Hello and welcome to the Dr. Joy Show. I'm your host, Dr. Laura LaJoie. We have open conversations here with people who are living their lives through the lens of joy, and I have the privilege today of talking with my friend and mentor coach George Crace. We've known each other for 28 years since I was on the sidelines, helping out with injuries and monitoring kids on the field. But our relationship has just gotten so much deeper in the last 28 years. So George, welcome to the show.
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:My pleasure to be here, Laura. Thanks for inviting me. I'm looking forward to our conversation today.
Track 1:Can you tell our listeners a little bit about your background, not just how we came to be connected, but some of the highlights in your life that have gotten you to where you are today?
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:Absolutely. First of all, I'll start off with a passion. I'm wearing it on top of my head called PLU football. And that relates to where I'm currently coaching football at. We just are starting up our spring ball season, coming up in April, and this is the 49th, football season that I've been involved in at seven different places, and I'm looking forward to it this year just as much as I did in 1973 when I started out coaching this game that I love so dearly. During that time period, I had finished my formal education. I graduated from a small town in Oregon called Milwaukie, Oregon. Left there in 1968. I went to Cambridge, Massachusetts, attended Harvard University for four years, graduating in 1972, left there to come back to the West Coast and enjoy the beautiful sites of Stanford University while I got my masters in teaching. and then launched my professional teaching and coaching career when I graduated from Stanford with that masters degree in 1973. So then the education really started. I got a chance to really start to learn how to apply the theory that you learn when you're in college. I'm back in college right now. I'm not teaching any class per se in college, but I'm interacting with college students, which is fantastic for me because it is a passion for me to work with young people. And, that passion started back in the my twenties when I was first coaching, so it still burns and the fire of desire to get back out there this spring and continue to work with our Youth of America still gets me up in the morning, gets me going.
Track 1:So for the record, what is the first school that you ever coached at?
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:Morse elementary grade school, grades five and six. I was at Harvard University looking for additional monies, and I saw this job. They needed a basketball coach at this elementary school. And I went down, applied for the job, and I got it. And I was able to coach two years for a group of kids that are now probably somewhere maybe in their mid sixties. it was great. I loved it. Boston Celtics was always my favorite basketball team we tried to emulate them. With a left-handed, young man that played center for us on that basketball team. And so my job was to teach him how to get the rebound and start the fast break down the court. And we just had a blast that year and the following year, and by the way, we did win the city championship back in those days. So something was working.
Track 1:That's so great. You are somebody that whenever I see you and your beautiful wife, Donna, you always emulate joy. You have kind words and inspiration everywhere you go. And so I'd like to just jump right in and have you tell me how do you personally define joy?
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:I believe that every day is a gift and to be present. Is really the present that you're a given. And so my goal is to live out my purpose statement that I've evolved to clarify over the years. It's a really simple purpose statement that I had an opportunity to generate about six years ago, and it's to teach, inspire, motivate, and encourage the people I coach to love God. and love each other with a champion's heart. So I have that posted in the house. I get a chance to look at it, get a chance to review it, and I get a chance to speak it, uh, through my coaching right now at Pacific Lutheran University because the head coach will always ask each of us to share our purpose statement in life and I get to share that purpose statement every year to a new group of young men that come in to play football.
Track 1:That's wonderful. Everyone should have a purpose statement. I don't know why we're not taught that starting in kindergarten. That would be a wonderful task. Can you with us a moment in your life when you felt truly joyful?
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:Truly joyful, I think was when I attended a Tony Robbins seminar and Tony Robbins has been a person in my life for a long time. He was a young man starting out about the same time. I was a young man starting out and he was able to go speak into the lives of people. I used to watch him on info commercials at one o'clock in the morning because that was the best time he could get cheap rates. And there was a quarterback named Fran Tarkenton. Most people on this broadcast will not know who that was played for the Minnesota Vikings. Fran would interview people from time to time and he took a liking to Tony. And so Tony got to be on his show many times. The thing that really struck me about Tony was his motivation to serve others. And that came through very clearly to me. And so the joy comes from serving others. When you're focused on yourself you can throw your own pity party about life is not going the way you want it to go. Guess what? Life just doesn't go the way you want it to go. Someone once said, if you really wanna make God laugh, just tell him your plans. So life is about adjustment. Life is about response, Tony emphasized that. I agreed with it at that point in time I'd gone through a really tough point for maybe 10 years working through a tragic episode in my life that happened when I was 20 years old. My high school sweetheart and I conceived a child that made it through nine months and five days. She died five days after birth. And that was really the first crisis that I had ever really had to encounter in my life. I was 21 years old at the time, had just turned 21. so from 21 through the rest of that decade up into my thirties, which would put me about 1980 on the time chart, I was struggling to deal with her death. And it was in a Tony Robbins seminar where I actually came to the realization of everything happens for a purpose. She just did not have a four chambered heart. She had been born with only two chambers. The two chambers allowed her to stay alive for five days. My wife and I were, obviously aware that there was some difficulty with the birth, but were totally blown away when she passed away. That was not the expectation, and for a long time I struggled with that. I think it's also why I became passionate about working with children. Her loss meant a lot to me. Um, and being present for her just for five days was very challenging. And, it made what I call life really real. Sometimes, I'd always felt that life, eh, I, I don't know if this is a really real experience. And that was one of those experiences that you never get over. never forget, and I look forward to reconnecting with Emory Sage Grace at some point in the future. On the other side of what we're doing here, it's called Heaven.
Track 1:Yeah, you have impacted thousands and thousands of children of many ages over the years. What are some of the profound impacts that you know that you've had? I can think of a couple from your Wilsonville High school football days, but I know that it goes even beyond sports, but also in the classroom. Your social life as an administrator. So what are some of those ways that you've been able to bring joy or inspiration to some of these children that have dramatically changed their lives?
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:One of the great joys in my life was that I eventually divorced and then remarried a lady that, called Donna and out of that grew son that birthed who's now 36 years old, one of the greatest joys is not only watching him grow up and develop, also watch the children. Now our grandchildren that has come from Spencer and the youngest one, his name is Ridger James. I've got a picture of him. I wish I could show it to you, but he is laughing, and expressing pure joy in this picture at maybe two months of age and as a special deal. And I was talking to him when he was in his crib. Literally, I could see him trying to communicate with me. His eyebrows were moving, and it was an engaging conversation, and he was asking me in whatever language he understood at that time. And I was talking back to him whatever I understood the question to be. And so we started that relationship, from the get go and I'm looking forward to watching him grow and develop. Spencer once asked his mother, Donna, when he came out of his bedroom and his pant legs were too short and he could see that, at the time they called'em floods, right? You got your pants pulled up. They were naturally up on his ankles he said. What grows me, mama, and of course we knew what was growing him was physical development. I got an opportunity to discuss that with him about what also grows you in terms of your mental and spiritual development recently, to see where he's at in his life. At age 36, the joy there is seen. The fruit everything you pour into your children as a parent. So we were a blended family. We have four children now, eight grandchildren, our passion in life and our joy in life is being with those grandkids and they come over to the house and we have a wonderful place for them to play and explore and grow and develop. The latest event was hitting golf balls in the front yard. And that is problematic.'cause golf balls can go anywhere when you miss'em, they also dig holes in your grass. So we get to deal with all of those things and they're a pleasure. They're a joy to have. So it gives you a little sense of joys in my life that I've had ahead.
Track 1:I can think of some of the young men that you've impacted that where you've changed their lives. You've got the Nick Grassis of the world and Joey Robles. Some of these young men that who knows how their lives would've manifested without some of the loving guidance that you guys provided for them.
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:Yeah, lemme tell a story about Nick Grassi. Nick is also 36 years old. He's living in Cape Gerardo, Missouri. Just, they just had their fourth child and he's got a growing family, and Nick came to live with us because Spencer said, mom, dad, Nick needs a place to stay where he can be more organized so he can pass his biology class and he has to pass this biology class. Otherwise he's not eligible to play football. So Spencer was a little bit self-motivated that way because he knew Nick would really make a great football player. But we said, sure we'll talk to his parents and see if he wants to spend the summer and possibly we can do some help for him and tutor him during that summer. He went from an F to an A over the summer months. And we thought, okay, that's great. Good job, Nick. Let's keep it up. And return him to his house. And he went home and asked his parents. He said, I would like to stay with Coach Crace and Mama D as he called her, um, for Donna see if I can do even a fall semester through this next football season and do better. So he stayed with us through that fall. That turned into another spring. Turned into another fall turned. And he graduated from high school and got a full scholarship athletically to go to Southeast Missouri in Cape Gerardo and play football. When he was in middle school, I became aware of struggles, did not know if he would be even able to make it to the high school. Many people in middle school felt that he was not going to be successful with that transition, and he made it. Into the school. But one of my favorite memories of him was they came to me and I was the head varsity coach and Nick was playing freshman football and they said, coach, you gotta go talk to Nick. He's crying in the grandstands right now. So what is he crying about? They said, I don't know. He's just up there crying. He can't be in practice today, so I think that's why he is crying, because he's being held out of practice. So I went to the grand stands, he's sitting there, I sat down next to him and I said, what's up Nick? And he said, coach, they won't let me into practice today. And I said, how come? He said, because I didn't do the assignment in English. And I said, okay, you're taking freshman English, right? I said yes. What's the assignments? I'm supposed to read this thing called Be Wolf. have no clue how to read this thing called Be Wolf. It doesn't sound like English to me, and they want me to write an essay on it, and if I don't write the essay, will not be able to. So that was the first time we helped Nick and I just told him, look, Nick, I can't read be Wolf either. I'd have to understand middle English it's a strange language to me. We'll work on this together and get you back on the practice field. And we did. And obviously he was able to star on the athletic field. He was able to get by ath academically, and then he got to college and he blossomed. Really blossomed and became a teacher. He worked kids in special ed and then his life transformed into ministry and today he does ministry full time impacts the lives of so many other people. And we just planted some seeds. Others did the watering and God supplied everything that he needed become the person that God created him to be in the first place. So Nick is phenomenal. He's like another son in our family, and so we have eight biological grandkids. We've got another four through Nick and his wife Tiffany. So it's about family and we always say family is very important. Family comes ahead of football. But what goes ahead of family is your faith, and so it goes faith, family, football, fun, everything else. Somewhere we throw in some food'cause that
Track 1:That's awesome. And it's important. Yeah. Knowing Nick as I do too, he is one of the most incredible young men and what a turnaround story for his life. Love watching his family grow up and glow up on Facebook too.
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:Grow up and glow up. I love
Track 1:I am like my kids taught me that one. Now you talked about this experience you had when you were in twenties. I think every age and stage of life, we have different obstacles. Is there another experience or an obstacle that you've had to overcome adversity where you've been able to find joy at the end of the rainbow or at the end of that transition?
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:Absolutely. The year was 2000. So in the year 2000, what occurred what school districts do if they wanna make a change with the head coach, you're allowed to keep your teaching job. But they say something like coach, I think what we're gonna do is go in a different direction. Would you please resign your position and we're going to hire another football coach. Our team had been struggling for a couple years. That's what happens in high school. There's ups and there's downs. I had been coaching there for five years, 1995 through 2000. they're looking to go into another direction. And when that occurred, what got was some mentoring and counseling that I did not get back in my twenties. I got this now at age 50. The people that counseled me were pastors. They would come over to the house and they would talk to me, and they'd say things like, just read the Psalms. Put your face in the book. Read the Psalms. You're not fired from teaching. Go in and teach and just do the best job that you can. Unbeknownst to me, the community rallied around firing, went to the school board. And asked the school board to reverse the decision which I was being fired. So for one week, school was without a football coach. One week later they rehired me. So I got hired twice Wilsonville High School you're familiar with that school? You still work with it. And that was a phenomenal experience. Brought me a ton of joy. Because in the process of that, I was taught how to let go. And I really believe that what occurred was when I said, Lord, alright, I'm fired. What can I do? And I wrote the beginnings of what became a nonprofit organization called Total Development. My wife and I still operate Total Development. It's now been 24 years that we've been doing that. And I said, okay, if I can't coach at this school, I'll just go coach kids wherever we find them and offer venues for them to grow and development, which is the idea behind of total development to grow physically, mentally, spiritually, body, mind, and spirit. When I let go of having to be the head football coach, guess what happened? They came back to me and the coaches came up and said, do you understand what just happened? job is not to win football games. Your job is to keep encouraging the athletes that come into this program, encourage the coaches, encourage the community, just do that and let winning take care of itself. that was in 2000. Four years later, we win a state championship and go undefeated, which I think brought ton of joy. To the community, our players, our son who got to be in that game. Nick got to be in that game. Heck, the community even had a parade for us. That was fantastic.
Track 1:Yeah, I remember that period. You went from oh and nine, in 1995
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:correct.
Track 1:to 13 and Oh, in 2004, I remember us playing at the University of Oregon and I say US.'cause that was my, it's still my team too. Forever a wildcat. And I remember that in 2000 just. How the community really rallied around you. And that was one of my first expressions in my adult life of what community can do when they have a purpose and a belief in someone that they wanna promote and raise up. And that was such an incredible experience for all of us. But I'm so glad for the outcome that it.
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:And I attribute that all to what God taught me, what the pastors in the community taught to me about. Not about you. It's simply about who are you serving. So if you're not gonna serve as football coach, great. Go find some place to serve. So we started total development and I think it fits into my purpose statement, know, to teach, inspire, motivate, and encourage the people I coach to love God and love others with a champion's heart. And that's the joy right now in my life, is writing this book called A Champion's Heart. All it takes is all you've got. Because I believe that when you're at the lowest point in your life, and a person said to us on a call recently, um, not much grows on the mountaintop. All the growth happens in the valley. And when you're in a valley in your life, we all want to get to the mountaintop. But if you just stop and take in what's going on while you're in the valley and grow with it, and as you say, glow with it. Mountaintop experiences will happen. And so between 2000 and 2004, was a huge growth process, not only for myself, but also for the coaches and the team and the community. And out of that we're coming up on our 20th of those kids, 20, 24 20 years since 2004. And they asked Pop Warner this question a long time ago. He was a great coach of note, how do you know when you've got great kids in your program? And he says ask me in 20 years. how they've turned out. And we're getting to that point to see how that group of young men and everybody else associated, including you, Laura. Turned out 20 years later and here we are talking on a podcast with Dr. Joy. Can you believe that? What a great reunion
Track 1:I love it. So grateful. It's it incredible to be part of this legacy. The legacy that you've helped built that you know still. Carries on in Wilsonville in the community and at the high school. If are there three to five lessons that you feel like you've either shared with athletes that you've coached, or character points that you're sharing with your grandkids that you feel like are really necessary for building a life of joy?
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:I actually have a formula I share with everybody and life lesson that I try to teach. I still teach it this day I learned it. Back in the seventies, I was teaching at a high school that was struggling with a lot of drug use and alcohol abuse on campus. And we had a lady named Miriam Black come to the school and speak to the parents and the PTA and the boosters. And I wanted to go see what she had to say. And in the course of that, she used a formula that went, E plus R equals O. And the formula's real simple. E stands for events. And she was talking about the use of drugs and alcohol to mask pain. when painful events happen in a person's life, the r is the reaction that they engage in, the reaction will influence the outcome. But she also pointed out there is a different type of It's called response. So when painful things happen in your life, you can also, in addition to your initial reaction, respond. So it's not what happens to you, it's what you do with what happens to you in life that really makes the difference in the outcome. You can influence the outcome. We don't determine the outcome, but it gives me a lot of hope to think that each and every day. My responses to the events, the people that God brings in front of me, the players I coach, people I get to speak to, like on this podcast may pick this one up. The faster you can get from reaction to a response, and we call it about being response able, and if you can be able to respond in a way. That serves that will also serve you. So again, the end goal is always to, get to the O, which also to me stands for others. Now, what I did with that, as I said, okay, E plus R equals O is a little bit hard for everybody to remember. So what if we put an H in front of it? Now we've got H plus E plus R equals O, and it spells a word. It's called Hero. Hero. And I believe we're talking about heroic responses here. And the H stands for heart, and that's where I believe development of a champion's heart allows you to encounter events, work through your reactions, get to a positive response serves others and influences outcomes. And I believe that's being heroic in life and some of the great. in life. Both men and women are those that have worked through tragedies in their life and then use that to impact others. that's, I think, where the significance and purpose how a life lived to its fullest can be best achieved. So at the end, you mentioned the word legacy. I work with a group called Three Dimensional Coaching. The three dimensions are body, mind, and spirit. And that group has been around for about six, seven years. And I'm aligned with them. They're aligned with me. I'm an ambassador for them. And they ask coaches. And Spencer and I are gonna be doing a clinic here on February 3rd on three-dimensional coaching, and I'll get to share that formula, H plus E plus R equals O. And I think some people might walk away with something that they can utilize. So that's one of the great teachings it developed over the course of many years through many different people, and probably the guy that's doing the most with it right now a daily email is a guy named Brian Kite and he calls it Daily Discipline. And I invite people to check out his email it starts a day in a good manner. Brian's got a lot of good things to share.
Track 1:That's amazing. I, one of the things that I feel confident about is that there are so many joy ambassadors in the world. People that are part of this collective, of groups that come together and are doing good work and bringing inspiration and joy. I appreciate you for being one of those joy ambassadors along with me. So I wanna finish our. Chat with fast five. This is the five questions that I ask at the end of every interview with each person. And so I would love for you to share with us a song or musician or band that brings you joy.
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:All right, you ready? Roy Rogers and
Track 1:Yes.
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:sang this song and it goes something like this. gotta have faith, hope, and charity. That's the way to live successfully. How do I know The Bible tells me. So don't worry about tomorrow. Just be real good today. The Lord is right beside you. He'll guide you all the way. So you gotta have faith, hope, and charity. That's the way to live successfully. How do I know? The Bible tells me I got to sing that song when I retired from Wilsonville High School at the ceremony that they give to teachers. And so everybody had a chance to talk. I sang and it was a great way to finish up
Track 1:I haven't heard that song in decades.
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:It is on the internet. I looked it Fast five, gimme another one.
Track 1:alright, so what is a book that inspires you or brings you joy?
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:When I read, when I was in elementary school, it's called Bambi, and it's the story of the deer and dealing with the wise old sage who had all these antlers on his head. It was a sad story, but it was an encouraging story and it profoundly impacted me at a very early age. There's many other stories many other authors. Laura, I'm sitting in a room here with 500 books on the bookshelf in front of me I could pick amongst all of them, but I just go back to the first one that I remember reading and I think God's. me that book. I remember it was in the library at Milwaukee Grammar School, I got a chance to read. It was wonderful. Next book I read an autobiography in middle school and that autobiography was about Gandhi and mr. Gandhi, people know from India was very inspirational and he was bringing about change Nonviolently and through a program or process he called Satyagraha, it's still out there, still available. Martin Luther King read a lot of Mahatma Gandhi's writings and worked his time in terms of civil rights movement using a lot of those principles. And then a third book I read in the summer before I left to go to college, and it was the story of Ulysses. Odysseus was the book written by Homer. And I love that book. I love the adventure, I love the challenge, and I especially love the ending of what Odes was able to do when he returned. I. To his family and his son TEUs his wife Penelope. And his travels were adventuresome but there was no place like home and he returned home and victorious, at least according to the book. So I'm gonna leave it there. Be victorious.
Track 1:How about a movie that brings you joy?
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:Star Wars. When it first came out, I went to every one of them. I could go see, and I still remember the very first one. And princess Leah and Han Solo, they were going strong, the force. The force be with you. I think that is a very powerful thought I believe the greatest thing that all of us have is the ability to speak from our spirit into other people. And I think that's what the movie was really suggesting that we do, and we all have our battles, uh, star Wars was a great one.
Track 1:Yeah, it's funny you should say that today we celebrate 16 years since we lost my stepdad, who was a massive influence on my life. And I remember being in middle school and my brothers and I leaving a campground in Tahoe to go in to watch Star Wars because it was on the big screen in like Tahoe. And every time that there's something going on in the community, whenever a Star Wars movie is released, or may the fourth of course may the fourth be with you. I wear my Jedi outfit. I would say my uniform in the clinic and anyone who passes by the My Chiropractic Clinic at Christmas time, there's a big cutout of Yoda and Chewbacca in the window greeting everyone. So I definitely resonate with that one.
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:I didn't know you were so into Star Wars.
Track 1:Yes, sir. I've not even got lights. I have two lightsabers that I keep in the clinic. So what is one of your joy hacks? Something that you do? Simple, either small or big ways to hack into joy.
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:The one that takes a little bit of weather cooperation is play golf. There is a great book written by a gentleman called, uh, I forget his name, but Golf in the Kingdom, and, he writes about the spiritual adventure of playing golf. And for me, when you get on the golf course, everything else fades away and it's just a walk in heaven. And it doesn't really matter kind of shot I hit, uh, as long as I'm able to walk and move forward and experience beauty that surrounds me. Someone once said that a golf course is God's negligee. I've never forgotten that. I am walking in a beautiful environment and in the it works every time, especially when it's sunny
Track 1:Especially when it's sunny and I'm not too hot and not too cold. So I like to finish the show with an attaway and normally I would introduce what an attaway is, but you taught me, I. On the side of a football field. So can you explain to our listeners what an attaway is, and then I would love for you to share an attaway with somebody who you're celebrating today who has inspired you or someone that you're cheering on.
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:And at. Can be given by any individual, a group of people an organization which they verbally encourage or a group or another organization for their effort and what they have contributed through the work that they're doing. I coach at PLU. We get on a plane flight, we fly down to a sister school. It's called Cal Lutheran in Thousand Oaks, California. And after the flight attendants give the directions, give the flight attendants an add away. So our whole team will start out, one person will lead it and they'll say, let's say the name of the air airplane is Alaska Airlines. We fly Alaska a lot. they will say something like this, Hey, Alaska attendance. And the old team will then repeat that, Hey, then go Alaska attendance. then they'll repeat that and then Thank you Alaska attendance. And then we end with two add aways. We'll say add away. then people will applaud. And we've given hundreds of those. And learned it from a gentleman named Frosty Westering, who was a coach at Pacific Lutheran University for decades, and Frosty gave thousands of at aways. So the person that I would like to give an attaway to is the person that I'm talking with right now. name is Dr. Laura LaJoie. So it'll go
Track 1:Thank you.
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:Hey Laura. Go Laura. Thanks, Laura. Add away. away. Wish you the best with your podcast, sweetheart. special. Keep on
Track 1:I.
squadcaster-edc3_1_01-23-2024_094147:on. My pleasure.