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The Confident Podcast
The Confident Podcast with host Lisa Tarkington, a certified coach, keynote speaker, and leadership strategist.
Lisa brings her contagious energy, real conversations, and the signature leadership support to help you navigate the mindset, strategy, and habits required to have confidence in today’s world.
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The Confident Podcast
EP 168: How to Stay Resilient to Enjoy the Good Times and Thrive with Singer-Songwriter Matt Ferranti
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Ever feel like life’s challenges are holding you back from enjoying the good times? We are joined by Matt Ferranti, who shares his inspiring story of how he built resilience while pursuing his music career and enjoyed the good moments like playing at Tin Roof and traveling the world without waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Listen to hear Matt’s story and learn how to build resilience and thrive doing what you love most!
Chapters:
- 0:00 - Intro & Meet Guest Matt
- 8:19 - Navigating Setbacks and Finding Success
- 19:29 - Building Confidence Through Consistency
- 31:34 - How to Handle Setbacks
- 39:36 - Key Takeaways & Outro
Guest Matt Ferranti’s Info to Connect
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Intro & Meet Guest Matt
Matt FerrantiOur first , first big tour . Like we went from a Dodge Durango in a U-Haul like to a to a tour bus opening for Luke Bryan at Madison Square Garden .
Lisa TarkingtonWelcome to the Confident Podcast . I am Lisa Tarkton , your host of this podcast . If you found yourself hitting play on this podcast , it means it was meant for you . My goal is to help , empower and guide you to become a better version of yourself through conversation , advice and tips that are real , vulnerable and authentic . I'm excited to have you join this journey with me . So let's get started . Hi everybody , welcome back for another episode of the Confident Podcast . I am your host , lisa Tarkington , and I am so honored to be in this seat to talk to you guys about how to cultivate confidence , leverage your strengths and then create meaningful conversations and connection and impact .
Lisa TarkingtonSo today's topic is going to be an amazing one , and it's one that we've probably talked a lot about in different ways on this podcast , and it's all about having confidence through adversity . But the biggest thing about this and this is something that I think is important is resiliency through adversity . How do I get through it , how do you get out of your head through the hard times and how do you enjoy the good times , too , without thinking about , oh , the shoe's going to drop or oh , I can't enjoy this too much because I got to get back to work . There's a lot of things that have the ups and flows when it comes to confidence and adversity , and I know firsthand that adversity is unavoidable , right Like it's something in life that we all go through . It's personal challenges , professional challenges or setbacks or obstacles , and we all face those . But that's when the confidence needs to really come into play . And so we're going to dive into how to not just survive but thrive , and I'm not going to be doing this alone . So I think that it's important that I love love my solo podcast . I do . I love them , but I also love when we can bring people on that have stories of going through the things right , going through the setbacks , going through the obstacles , but also how they did it and how they've come out . I would say on top of the hill , in continuously going over that hill .
Lisa TarkingtonSo our guest today is going to be Matt Ferranti . He has an impressive list of talents , let me tell you guys he's a guitarist , he's a piano player , he's a singer , he's a songwriter . All the things that I'm just going to say I'm not confident in , but I'm glad someone can do this kind of stuff . He has a phenomenal record where he took a leap of faith in himself and made the bold move to Nashville from Michigan so where I'm from and he has such a desire to be a country song singer , songwriter , which he's doing right now . So , since he's made that bold move , matt has continued to play with talented people like Brett Young , which you've probably heard of Jelly Roll and is working in the studio right now on his solo career .
Lisa TarkingtonBut not only that Matt is a dad and he's a husband , and I met Matt in 2021 . He might not even remember that We'll bring him on in a second , but he played at our fundraiser when I first started my nonprofit and I don't think people understand , but when you're starting out and you have people believe in , you have people fly from Nashville to Michigan to help you out . It is something that you remember . And so I think that people that are still working on themselves , still getting through adversity themselves to become what they want to be , but when they take a step back and help other people , it is so impactful and then you just want to see them succeed , you just want to see them grow , and so , matt , thank you so much for joining us on the Confident Podcast , so welcome .
Matt FerrantiI'm so glad to be here . Thank you for having me . We're in Las Vegas . It's so early , but I wouldn't be anywhere else Awesome .
Lisa TarkingtonYeah , so thanks for taking the early call . I can't even imagine so I'd love for you to share like . Obviously I gave a little intro of who you are , but if there's anything that I missed or you'd love the audience to know , I'd love for you to just share a little bit more about yourself with them .
Matt FerrantiWell , well , I knew since you know , this is kind of a purpose driven conversation I , I've , I feel like I've always known what my purpose was . I felt like I was called to play music when I was a kid you know , like a kid kid , I think I'm taking piano lessons . I was like six years old , 36 now , so 30 years of playing , I mean . So , I mean I've always understood that that's what kind of God gave me the gift that he gave me , and I've been chasing it my whole life . I mean I , um , I mean all the preparation I've done through then . Um , I love Michigan . I know you from Michigan . Um , I'm so loud and proud of Michigan it's crazy I still have my nine , eight , nine number , you know what I'm saying .
Matt FerrantiYeah , heck , yeah , but , uh , um . But , man , I knew I needed to get out of town . You know , like at some point , like no one was going to come and sign me to a record deal if I just stayed playing the same venues up where I was , where we're from so I moved to Nashville . It was one of the best things I ever did in 2013 . And , yeah , it's been a wild ride . I mean , since that's happened , my life has completely changed for the good . And now we got a new baby boy and , yeah , I'm playing music full time , putting milk in the fridge for him and making sure my wife's happy and you know we're having a great time .
Lisa TarkingtonThat's awesome .
Matt FerrantiThat's awesome .
Lisa TarkingtonSo you said you started at six really diving into this . You knew your purpose really on in life and then you made the move in 2013 . So take us back to that move for a second , and I can't imagine what that felt like to be like . I got to do this right , I have to make this shift , and so if you wouldn't mind just sharing a little bit more about that with us .
Matt FerrantiSo I was in a band called Take the City for a long time and that was kind of like a Warped Tour pop rock band kind of sort of thing , and that was . I was playing with the same guys from like seventh grade up until , uh , even up until 25th 2014 or 15 . Like we even moved to national together , me and my buddy Ken Lang , and uh , that kind of music was it . You know it . Just , it evolved over time and the older I grew , the less like kind of that was the vibe . And so we we moved to more of like an Americana , different kind of a sound and we actually added a girl to the band . It was from Gaylor and it was Lauren Dusky . She's a homie and we were kind of like a lady antebellum . It kind of went from like alternative rock to like a like harmony driven that way .
Matt FerrantiAnd so in michigan we didn't really know how to be associated . We just kind of started asking around like hey , we're , we're a band and we like do harmonies and stuff , what do we do ? And we end up opening up for like gloriana in thompson square , I think , the band perry at the rolex music theater . And after we opened up for gloriana like they were like like y'all , y'all are like seriously like really good , and you didn't get the hell out of detroit , like you didn't come back down to nashville . And three months later was that maybe , maybe five months later we , we moved and we just made the decision like that's all . We needed like a little bit of validation , like okay , this is this , is it , this is what we're doing . And uh , uh , you know , I didn't even have that on my radar for the longest time , but once they said that , it was like oh , they , they know something , I don't , so let's go do that , you know .
Lisa TarkingtonAnd then okay , so then you were there and I mean , that's , that was 11 years ago . Right , that was 11 years ago . Isn't that crazy to think about , and so like I can't imagine the ups and downs , right Like of going through your industry , and so tell us like a little bit of how . How has your confidence been kind of shaken through the setbacks , even if you have any examples for us of like how you've kind of fought that adversity and had to have that resiliency ?
Matt FerrantiWell , you know , I've got to give some credit to my parents because , and to God , because I was born , I was taught at the very beginning to like you . Don't have a choice but to be resilient , Like you know , to me .
Matt FerrantiDon't have a choice but to be resilient , like , like you know , to me , like my dad's a minister , right , so like if jesus can go through what he went through , like that's pretty resilient , my dude . Like there's a , there's a , there's a path to to compare it , to take notes from it , at
Navigating Setbacks and Finding Success
Matt Ferrantileast you know . So I've , I've never shied away from like hard work , but it's different when you're working harder , not smarter , right . I've fallen in like categories of I don't know what to do , but I'm not just going to sit around and not do anything . You know , I just keep swinging and I just keep throwing paint on the canvas until something sticks . You know , I just keep throwing paint on the canvas until something sticks . You know , and that's been . You know , the definition of integrity is like what are you doing ? No one's watching , kind of thing Right .
Matt FerrantiAnd it's like , yeah , okay , so what are you doing ? You don't have a record deal , what do you do ? You don't have any of these things . You don't have a big boy job , you don't have a tour bus , you don't all these things . It's like I don't know , I'm gonna go play more shows , I'm gonna go write more songs , I'm gonna go , you know , just just . There's no other option . You just keep going , you just gotta keep going . And I think the hardest thing with that lesson was , uh , how it's not just to pretend to be emotionally strong , but like there's nothing worse than I hitting them , bashing my head against the wall , like not knowing , like kind of hitting the lid , you know , and I still , we're still kind of going through it because the industry doesn't give you those secrets . They don't give you those secrets . They're like come find out , come do your homework , and so . But just the constant little bit of growth that I think that resilience pays off . It's given me just the hope I needed at the right time , and that's why we're still out here swinging .
Lisa TarkingtonSo what I'm hearing you say a little bit is like you haven't given up right and you've had consistency . That's the other thing too . Right Is like you could , is like you could have . You could have through all of this . I'm gonna go back to what you're like nah , now I got this , but like I the consistency , like right , like you might have thrown some paint at the wall to see if it's stuck . I always say like the spaghetti at the wall , but you've tried different things and so , as you've gone through that like what's made you not stop give up on yourself , especially when things get hard , cause I can only imagine how much head , mental space it gets in , physical too , I mean you're . You have a lot of shows going on .
Matt FerrantiYeah , it's , it's , uh , you know , especially , you gotta take care of yourself , and even you know your head , your body models , you know all that kind of stuff , it , stuff , it's uh , sometimes it's easier said than done , but um , I , I like . What professional touring has even taught me is is systems work , you know .
Matt Ferrantiso double down your system and that's why I can be in las vegas for eight days and come home and still be a good dad and not have to go sleep for three days you know , yeah , it's like because everything's compartmentalized and you know , you , and you just kind of check off your list and all of a sudden the day is over and you're hydrated and you're not hungover or whatever , just like I'm prepared , and those little tiny things that you make decisions I make every day . You start doing that enough time all of a sudden . Now you're just making the right decision consistently and that's what pays off . That's what , uh , uh . That's to me . I learned that the working hard , not smarter , I mean .
Matt FerrantiWhen I moved to Nashville the first at 2013 , I thought I was good . I thought I was good then and then I realized I wasn't good at all . I was like , wow , there I'm , so not the best person in the room and that allowed me just to soak it up and be like okay , okay . Like you know , I know I'm not going to be like a classically trained Beethoven piano player , like that , but in the country music world it was like very applicable to where I just like soaked it up . I just soaked up the knowledge and just made little strides every day and you know , 11 years later now we're making some business happen .
Lisa TarkingtonYeah , and it sounds like what you kind of did when you started is you took the ego out .
Matt FerrantiWell , there's just no room for it . The city beats it out of you . The city , like Nashville , don't play no games . Nashville is like bro , there's no room to suck . Like , being good is just a prerequisite . You think you should be celebrated just because you're good ? No , being good is what you got to do , just to wake up and go get a cup of coffee , you know . So it's like how do you be good and not just be good ? How to turn that like ?
Matt FerrantiI tell people this all the time the easiest thing I do all day is play my four hours of music . The rest of the day I'm doing taxes . The rest of the day I'm booking shows for four months from now . All the other stuff is like that . So it's like being good ain't nothing . Being responsible , putting the whole plan together , executing yourself All that stuff put together is what makes just one day work . Know , being being responsible , putting the whole plan together , executing yourself , all that stuff put together is what makes just one day work , you know . So those are valuable lessons . That . That that was humbling I . You know , I didn't choose egoless things . I got reminded that you don't . There's no room for it , you know . So it was like okay , okay , I gotta gotta tighten up a little bit .
Lisa TarkingtonYeah Well , and I think what you're doing is like thinking about like how to get through those setbacks right , or those like it's all I care about .
Matt FerrantiIt's , it's . I know I can . I can do whatever I want to do . But , but I don't have the . If I don't have the answers , I gotta go find them , like I don't think , it's like I'm I'm , I'm not willing to hold myself back . You know , it's like somebody else has an answer that I don't have and I don't want to go find it . We're going to find it .
Lisa TarkingtonYeah , and I think that that's why you've been so successful , right , like you've continued to make those small things . So I'm going to ask you a question of like okay , so we're going to go from 2013 to now . Is there 2013 to now ? Is there a memory in your brain where you're like I didn't know , I hit , I hit my , my bottom , or I hit a wall , where I'm like I don't know where to go , and if you wouldn't mind , if you wouldn't mind taking us to that moment , and then how did you get out of that to have that confidence in yourself ?
Matt FerrantiYou know , ok . So I I tried to do a bunch of stuff . I think I was a bar back , I bartended , I did a bunch of stuff . There's this bar called tin roof yeah and and uh , tin roof on the mumbrian street and I was , I , I was , I think I opened up the bar next door that the bar owns . Somebody got injured I think they tore his Achilles or something , and I had to come in and fill in for him as a bartender . So I come in there and just because I worked hard and everyone was full of tattoos , I just kind of blended in . So it was fine , but I'm the worst bartender in the world . I'm the worst bartender in the world One because I like to drink a little bit too much .
Matt FerrantiTwo , that is not my specialty . Right , I'll take 17 kamikazes , four Jack and Cokes and three fireballs . I'm like what the hell is in a kamikaze ? I don't even know what's in that . So that was one of the most stressful points of my life . The money was good , but the pressure , the stress . I've never felt more pressure in my life . I've played in front of 85,000 people . Fun , I'm having a group of college kids stare me down because I'm not making kamikazes fast enough . That is the most high pressure . So one day they sat me down . They were like bro , we love you , but you are terrible at this . So how about we give your girlfriend who's not my wife , how about we basically give her this job and you go play on stage three days a week and we'll pay you this much ?
Lisa TarkingtonOh .
Matt FerrantiAnd I was like , yeah , okay , sweet , and I've been playing music full time ever since . I've never had a real job ever since then . So that was like the . It was like I was at my worst point mentally , like I got subpoenaed to court for fighting like out in the middle of the damn street for no damn reason , like just being stupid , right . And I'm only 25 at the time , which you know , and I didn't go to normal college , so like I didn't get a lot of that out of my system . But like after after all that , it was like not only did I reconcile it , they dapped me up and gave me hope in the , in the career path that I , like , was wanting to do the whole time anyway . So you know , it's coming , give me a sign , give me a sign somebody . And that was . And it was like , okay , well , here's a perfect case scenario .
Matt FerrantiI was like , oh yeah you know , yeah , it was like , uh , and having the perfect time , because I was close , I was closest to the brink of like not move home , but like damn , I just want to play music . You know , like what is life giving me right now ? But just sticking through it , putting your head down , taking that ego out , all those things that we just talked about like , allowed me some eligibility to take a position like that and it changed my life . I'm doing it ever since .
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Building Confidence Through Consistency
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Lisa TarkingtonWell , and I also think like , as I'm listening to that , I can imagine a lot of people listening in could relate to that . I'm going to put my hands up and say what am I doing with my life ? Moment Right ? Or like what's like I know where I want to go but it seems so far away because I'm such in a bad mental state . So when you're going through moments of like your career right and you're going to , you still probably have moments of self-doubt , or those downward spirals kind of play into your head Like how do you overcome those now to get through that , knowing like I have a goal I want to meet that there's all these people maybe telling me like I'm getting a lot of no's right , like how do you fight through those things and what kind of things do you put in place for that ?
Matt Ferrantiit's , it's just managing expectations , right , because half the time you walk around disappointed is because you're you're just holding my music career to an unrealistic expectation , like or or this relationship , or this , this thing , or whatever . And uh , uh , like I tell people now , like I do , like , my son's milk depends on it . Like you know , my , my , my marriage depends on like , so my life does depend on and that's how I treat my job now . But when you're like , when you don't feel like there's a whole lot of meaning to that , like what is well , my , my , meaningless life depends on it , well , that's , that's terrible . You know what ?
Matt FerrantiI'm saying yeah , yeah and and uh , uh , I just try to keep it the moment where I'm even like just just to stay grounded . Man , I think that's really it , it's , it's . Don't let things disappoint you that have no business disappointing you . You know that , and I don't . I don't let things disappoint you that have no business disappointing you . You know that , and I don't . I don't let people disappoint me no more . Like I'm because because you know they've all come and gone like I'm , I'm the only one sitting here still doing it like , so I gotta make sure that I'm , I'm making my , you know , not leaving it to somebody else to make me happy or to make me sad or this or that . Like that's what , that's what my wife , my baby and Jesus for , that's , that's what that's for . The rest of the stuff is is yeah , okay , um , tomorrow's a new day . All right , I didn't , I didn't get my record deal today . I'm coming for you . I'm coming for you tomorrow , you know like that's like that's all right , that's it .
Lisa TarkingtonI think the other thing that kind of came up when you were talking through that is like sometimes we need that external validation a little bit to like you're like okay , I am on the right path , I am on the thing , but what you're also saying is , like , which we all know . It comes in right Like you've had to do the work on yourself for how many years ? Right Like when you were a bartender knowing you're still doing it right , like , and it's the mental work that it never stops .
Lisa TarkingtonAnd I think a lot of what we teach in our programs and our membership platform that people are on is those things , because it's like if you don't continue on it , you're going to look back at your life . I always say like , picturing myself at the age of 95 sitting on my swing on my porch , and am I going to look back and be mad at myself because I gave up , because I was I , I had setbacks , right .
Matt FerrantiYeah , yeah , that's that's , that's what that's , that's not on the table , that's not . That can't be an option . Because if it's an option like you're just leaving too much room , and that you know what I'm saying Like if you're leaving , at least if you try to be , everything is like a like a percentage graph thing . It's like if you just automatically just figure in 15 chance of failure , dude you just that . That's like , that's no like . Like I have to . Like I have to be reminded that there may be a position of failure , like but I'm doing all I can to make sure that don't happen , you know .
Lisa TarkingtonYeah , so when it ?
Matt Ferrantihappens , it's just like okay , well , tomorrow we're going to make some changes and we're going to make sure it doesn't happen again , you know .
Lisa TarkingtonYes .
Matt FerrantiYeah .
Lisa TarkingtonSo then , how does okay , so like you have really good work ethic for what you do , because you like you have to . So like , when you think of having confidence to get through adversity , why do you think it's important to have a really good work ethic and like , what does that even mean to you ?
Matt FerrantiUh , you know that you just the , live , breathe , eat , sleep it , the , the , the , the , the . You know it's , it's gotta be . I'm not just naturally crazy , savantly born talented . I wasn't . God gave me a gift and I put the work in to go from like . I had to work very hard to go from 2013 , bay City , matt , to now , and that's with all the shows . I don't even know how many shows I played since 2013 . I I mean thousands , like like so many shows .
Matt FerrantiBut I operate best when I'm doing my , when I'm in my reps , right like I'm I'm better if I take three months off from performing like it's not fresh in my brain .
Matt FerrantiI need to do it every day to be like the most efficient level of myself that I got to do . And I mean , yes , I do get a couple of days off during the week , but but it's . I'm a I'm a reps guy , like the more reps I get , the better I get , the better I get , and I'm and I haven't stopped getting better , and so I'm just doubling down . I'm like , all right , let's keep the reps moving , let's keep doing .
Matt FerrantiYou know , yeah in that that that allows you to . If you're studying that , you see incremental growth like happen in front of your eyes . That little bit can be the thing that makes you keep going the next day or the next day or the next day . And I write , I write this down like I , I write like I whiteboard myself , like pros cons day , like , like you know , every time I do a week long trip with these guys in Vegas , I write down pros cons , what can we do better this time ? Do we fix logistics ? Do we , you know , get you know whatever it is ? Do I have to pay for more dinners to offset the cost of that ? What you know ? All that kind of stuff . And I love that , that nerd approach to it . Just like , hey , just chisel away at it , chisel it . And all of a sudden , one day you're gonna walk around and be like , yep , we're operating at like a 97 percentile and everyone's watching . Now , yeah .
Lisa TarkingtonWell , and I love that , like what you're saying because I think these are a lot of things we talk about is like it's all of the little pieces that add up . The other thing that you said is like the reps . Like we hear those things you think about working out like the only way to get stronger and things is to keep those reps going the minute you like back off , like I'll give the example of running the minute you stop running as much . It's not just like a quick comeback , right . The other , the other example that you said , too , is like I was given a gift but I also had to work at that gift , and I think that that's something very important to remind people .
Lisa TarkingtonListening in is like confidence and like anything is repetitions . It's getting better , it's putting the ego aside . It's even , like you said , like you have your pros and cons list we talk a lot about like okay , journaling , maybe it's just questions that you ask yourself throughout the day . Or like how do I , you know , change that mindset ? Like all of these little things I shouldn't even call them little , they're big things because it might only take a few minutes , but they're big , monumental moments to move you forward .
Matt FerrantiWell , with definition of insanity . He's doing the same thing over and over again , expecting results like like nothing , like that , none of us got time for that . None of us got time for that . There's work to be done , so we gotta do whatever we gotta do to to make sure that you're chipping away , like you know . I also , I know I'm not gonna be perfect ever , like I don't . I'm not , I'm not expecting 100 , I'm expecting above . Like it's easy to go from a d to a b . It's easy to go from a D to a B . It's hard to go from a B plus to an A plus , like that little top heart percentage chisel A is like is the hardest and that's where you go from good to great , you know , and that's like whatever that takes . Whatever that takes is what we're doing .
Lisa TarkingtonYeah , and I love that , I love that . And I think too , like kind of going back to where you said , like you had a pivotal moment at Tin Roof , right , where you're like , yeah , this is what I've wanted to do , but like I had to go through this to get there . So , like , is there any other pivotal moments that you've noticed ? Like , oh , that was my starting point , but then once I got to this next level , I was like , ok , we're making that progress . I'm seeing all of those little things pay off . Do you remember that next piece ?
Matt FerrantiYeah , I mean , if we're talking about like the big victory , that like , like , the , like , the , just the slap you in the face , like bro , like we're , we're doing , we're , we're doing it , we're doing it , and that was our first , first big tour Like we went from a Dodge Durango and a U-Haul like to a to a tour bus opening for Luke Bryan at Madison Square Garden and I got to . I got to fly my my parents and my sister and my wife out and they got to watch me play MSG and I was like damn we're dead , we made some .
Matt FerrantiWe made some ground . We made some ground damn , we're dead . We made some . We made some ground , dude , we made some ground . Oh , like , it was just like the , like the . Just sit back and soak it in and I'm not good at soaking all in all the time because I don't like all right , cool , that was a good victory .
Matt FerrantiOn to the next , like , let's just , but you know , um , but that was like the , that was the look , ma we're doing it , you know yep and and uh , just watching them be so proud and watching them be so like like , not surprised , just like in awe , like you know , it's just the whole thing was like all right , all right , and it was only a couple months before that , like maybe a year before that , I was bashing my head bar back in that tin tenor . It's like man , what am I doing ? And just like that you became diligent and got rewarded , you know .
Matt FerrantiAnd the next step through that is I had to learn how to not like internalize Brett's victories as my own . You know like I got to enjoy Brett's victories and enjoy that moment of hey mom , I'm not playing around , you know what I'm saying , but it's like like I want my songs on the radio . I can't walk around being like , yeah , me and Brett got songs on the radio . I was like no , brett's got songs on the radio , I'm his man . And it's very compartmentalized and not taking too much like getting too emotionally invested in taking credit for something I you know I'm I'm helping doing . But I didn't really do like it . Just I compartmentalize it very properly so that I got to enjoy a little bit . But watching him do it just fired me up to want to go do it myself even more , you know so .
Lisa TarkingtonThat is awesome and I just want to point out like the whole time you were saying that , like your face lit up , and so you can tell that these are pivotal moments . Right , we were like yeah finally , after all of those setbacks , or or like , honestly , what you said is like I had to these shows and so like , take us from the Madison Square Garden piece to where you are now . Like obviously it's been repetitions , but like what's been next for you for that pivotal moment so just before 2020 .
Matt FerrantiUh , brett uh , I'm sorry , like just for quarantine yeah , um , he wanted to do this
How to Handle Setbacks
Matt Ferranti. This tour called the chapters tour and the Chapters Tour and the Chapters Tour was like basically showing the chapters of where Brett started to where he was . And he asked me to come on his bus and he was like hey , man , like you've been with me since the very , very , very , very , very I mean I was an OG , like some very beginning and he asked me to open up the tour . He was like , hey , man , we're going to get your artist tour going . I was like what ? Like okay , and what I will say is I wasn't ready then . I mean I was ready to try , I was ready to get , like to really give like the big leagues a try , but like I'm not ready the way I am now you know . Like it was just like I remember going into a record my record meeting , record deal meeting and watching Scott Borchetta and Jimmy Arn and all these guys at the table like just listening to me play my songs . Like they asked Brett to give a first right of refusal . Like we want to hear Matt for anybody else . Here's Matt , hell , yeah , like those are like the things that you dream about hearing , right , and then you don't get , and then it doesn't happen , right , and then the world shuts down and then you lose all of that .
Matt FerrantiThe tour went away , everything went away . It was like , you know , all those thoughts , man , that was it , that was my shot , and it's gone . Dang , like what ? Like , how do you , how do you come back from that ? Like I didn't know , I was and and that was .
Matt FerrantiYou know , it was obviously difficult for everybody . That time stuck for everybody , you know . But it was obviously difficult for everybody . That time stuck for everybody , you know . But but it was very important . It was very important for uh , uh , like , like it's , it's just , you know , breakups like lost family . Like they say , time heals all wounds . Right , it's very cliche to say , but like , like the fear ended up just leaving . Like , like , after like , after a while , it's just like , oh , it doesn't hurt as much anymore , okay , like there's less fear going into .
Matt FerrantiI still gotta go make money this week , so I'm gonna go play more shows still . Yes , am I sad because I lost all that other crazy stuff ? Yeah , but I still gotta pay rent , so let's go back and play , and music is actually it simplified everything , like it reminded me why I did this in the first place , because music is why I wanted to go show up and do it . It was . I didn't . I don't want to show up to the record deal . I don't want to show up to the Spotify meeting . I don't want to . I want to play music , man , you know , and it was like that's . It was like that's .
Matt FerrantiIt was actually the first time I was ever like mad at music . I was like , like , like , how did I , how did , how did how ? Did I just spend my whole life doing this and get this screwed ? You know , I was like why ? Why did you do that ? To me , music and that was that , was that was short lived , because I reconciled with it very quickly , because it ended up being the thing that really saved my headspace during that time was , hey , it very quickly . Because it ended up being the thing that really saved my headspace during my time was hey , it's right , it's minor . So it's why we're doing this and touching people's lives .
Matt FerrantiPlaying music is , is is not always celebrated by record deals and a lot of money . You know it's , it's and and that's , that's okay , that you know that's , that's , that's fine . I just , I know we're going places now . I know we're like I've already come full circle back from that . So I know we're going places now . I know we're like I've already come full circle back from that . So I know we're going to go get what we got to get . But yeah , it was crazy .
Lisa TarkingtonI can't even imagine , right Like you're in these meetings , then the world shuts down and you're like , okay , now what ? But I think and they took people away .
Matt FerrantiLike I'm an entertainer , I'm not just a singer that just sits here and plays to my YouTube channel like that , like I need , I'm playing to people , I'm playing to places . So when all that went away , I was like playing to Facebook Live sucks . Like here's my Venmo , I'll play Wonderwall for you . I'm like no dude .
Lisa TarkingtonYeah , yes , yeah play Wonderwall for you . I'm like no , yeah , yes , yeah , you need , you needed , you needed your people , and like to your side , like you're going back to what you said when you were six years old you knew your purpose Right and like you want to live that out and so like the fact that you haven't given up on that , you know , is amazing . And also to the other thing that you said is like , which I find so awesome , is like that you said like I wasn't ready . And I think that it's like in that moment , when you're getting that like I'm going to say , fame right , like you're getting that fame , it's like right , almost there , and it kind of makes you sit back and see .
Matt FerrantiYes exactly .
Lisa TarkingtonYou were so , so close to it and then you're like crap , crap , like this is not happening the way that , like I , that I was thinking in the next six months was going to happen .
Matt Ferrantiyou had to sit back and like , really think yeah , it was crazy , and this is like to speak to the , to the positive side . Like I remember , even when I , when I told brett I was gonna have to quit his band , I was like bro , like I was in the last 10 years , like help me , your dreams come true , my dude . And like I got a son now and it's time I got to go get mine , you know , and we were so like the best of friends , like it was . It was all good , but I remember feeling such like a loss Cause , like again those intrusive thoughts like am I going to play an arena ever again ? Like if I don't't , if I just leave the guy who puts me in arenas every weekend , like no , I'm like I'm gonna go chase my own thing .
Matt FerrantiLike you know , what's crazy is is all that time I spent like stressing about that , like the guy who replaced me end up having he end ended up getting on another tour , and so he was like , hey man , I need two things from you . I need you to come bail me out , because the guy that took your spot is leaving , so can you come be a bandaid for us while he's while he's gone ? Oh , and I need you to open up for us for four shows . I was like , yeah , where we going ? He's like europe for a month , my goodness . It's like okay , okay , right , and that came out of nowhere . I wasn't even in the band , no more .
Matt FerrantiLike all that time I spent stressing about is this gonna happen ever again , like without even looking for it , there was like not always gonna happen again , you know , and I played for Jelly Roll in between them too .
Matt FerrantiSo it's like like all that , all that fear and anxiety and worthless , like like beat yourself up thing , like it was all a lie Cause , like without even me having to go beg for it , it was gifted to me again and again and again , and it seems like it's only going more that way , thank God , yeah , it's like , you know , it's just like a man Like I'm not going to stress about that , like something like that ever again because it's empty , it's not real , like that's something that I'm conjuring up my own you know my own head , and so , yeah , it's crazy , like this past time in Europe , like I got to open up for 5 000 people in belfast , ireland , northern ireland oh , my goodness right like crazy , crazy , like all those years in the green hunt in bay city , like , like I'm in real northern ireland like doing the thing , dude , like , so it's , it's .
Matt FerrantiThose kind of things are what I like to tell people anytime I do something like this talk is just those , the gaps of pain to presence . You know I'm saying like , like , yes , that's means a lot to me in the message that we try to do . You know . Again , thank you for having me on again .
Lisa TarkingtonYes , yes , absolutely . And to kind of like close out really quick , like I'd love if there's like two or three things that you're like , if anybody listening in . These are the couple of things that , like I want them to walk away with .
Key Takeaways & Outro
Matt FerrantiYou got to have trust in , in , in the things that you put into your body to , like , you know , to help you . You know what I'm saying , like , like what you hear , what you take in , what you , what you allow to to touch your . You know you got to protect your stuff . You got to trust yourself and protect and protect yourself , and that's that's emotionally and physically . That's all those things you know . You know trust , forgiveness you got to forgive yourself . You got to forgive people quickly . You can't . You know you can't let other people you know you can't let somebody else throw you off . You got to have a purpose . You got to do your thing , so you got to stay . You know Let them go piss somebody else off . You know , yeah , last one , probably . You know just , yeah , yeah , uh , last one , probably . Uh , you know it's , it's , it sounds .
Matt FerrantiSo I try . I try to find moments to to to love a little bit harder , because that's just good for your soul . It's just , it's just good for you , you know like . You know like , take , have an extra grace , have an extra grace for people , have an extra you know , extra willingness to help . Like you know , I spend so much time either trying to get out my own head or like focus on this or do that , like sometimes , like just helping somebody else is the thing that your soul needs . You know , like um , like you know , because in my business you can get very caught up in your own BS . You know , like you know , just caught up in your own sauce , and and focusing on other people as often as you can keeps things in a perspective . I think those are the three things I would say .
Lisa TarkingtonLove that . I love that . I think some things that I'll point out too , that you said that really stuck with me is like consistency , right , like the things like don't forget to be consistent . Also , like we can tell ourselves a lot of stories and this is something that we teach a lot about like how to get out of that . Like we have a lot of scenarios that we tell ourselves in our brains that actually don't even happen , like the whole thing that you said about um , like I was so scared to get off Brent's band because I didn't know what was going to happen . Well , I will say that it probably , like 200% was better than what you ever could have imagined , right , and so it's like I spent so much energy in my brain on things that didn't even happen , when I could have been taking action or I could have been doing the things .
Lisa TarkingtonBut we give our negative mindsets so much space in our heads , and so that's another thing to like . One of the things that we teach a lot in our programs and in our memberships is like how to get through those things , how to get out of those things . So I'm like love hearing that you've been able to like , over the years , do that and like and the repetitions and things . So amazing . I'm like so proud of you . Like I love hearing people's stories of how they've gone from like I'm going to say you're six years old , to like where you are now . Like I'm not even going to say 2013 , because there's a lot of those things in between , and so , like I know our listeners are going to take a lot from today and be able to add into their lives .
Matt FerrantiHey , like I said , thank you for having me guys . I mean , uh , I I just love , I love you know the uh just touch people any way I can , you know , and a lot of times on stage , a lot of times it's on platforms like this , uh , and it's important . It's important to have good outside perspective because , uh , um , you know , that's why they say , like you are , who your friends are , like you need to have someone in your to give you a well-rounded perspective , you know , and it's important , and so you guys are doing a great job . I'm glad I could help be part of this and hopefully we , you know , between me releasing it , you releasing it , we can get , you know , people talking about it .
Lisa TarkingtonYes , making that impact , yeah , and so just to kind of close out for our audience , one of the things I would leave everybody with is like we love this conversation , so we wanted to gift everybody today 50% off of our membership platform so that you can take all the things that Matt's been talking about , that he's been working on . We want to gift everybody with an opportunity to actually grow in those things . So in the show notes will be a code for you to get 50% off your first month . I believe the code is the confident podcast . Check out the show notes , the confident podcast 50% off , because what we want to do is make sure that people are gifted with kind of getting themselves set up higher than we probably were when we got started and like to really work on that mental game .
Lisa TarkingtonSo , as I always say to everybody tuning in , continue to spread love and kindness to everybody that you meet , and thank you so much , matt , for being on the podcast .
Matt FerrantiAnd Nathamola appreciates this . Thanks so much .
Lisa TarkingtonThank you for tuning into the Confident Podcast . If you enjoyed today's episode , don't forget to subscribe , leave a review , follow the Confident Podcast on Instagram and TikTok and share it with those who might benefit . Also , if you are looking to work one-on-one with me , message and follow me on Instagram at LisaTarkingtonOfficial . Stay confident , stay inspired and until next time , keep striving to be the best version of yourself . Take care .
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