LACTATION #105

     Join Frank Nasty and Juicy aka Charlie Mike as they discuss hot topics such as butthole tanning, lactation, fake cocaine, bad drivers, taking dumps in airports and many other things! ENJOY!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

How does this sound?

SPEAKER_03 0:06

Much better.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Well, he is uh back from maternity leave. That's right. He gave he was with child. I I was. He gave birth to a child. Uh it's it's crazy because wifey, which got it, she was on a business trip when you went into labor. Yeah, yeah, it's fucking nuts. He's like, oh, I'm at the hospital. Com visit. Dude's got his fucking leg spread open. I was like, damn, I want a cute little baby. Yeah. She him, you're a she him. So I was watching Landman. This has nothing to do with giving birth, or Landman is. So it's a good movie on uh Prime Paramount Plus. So, and I'm watching it, and I'm watching the first season. It's with uh I can't remember the fucking actress, but you'll like it. Sure. It's an oil man thing. Okay. And uh the chick she she's going to like um what do you call this fucking cheerleading camp. So she goes into her dorm. Okay, and uh she goes into a dorm and then her roommate is like, This is my safe space. I'm they them, and blah, blah, blah. And had all these fucking restrictions and everything else like that. Yeah. And uh, pretty much what I'm trying to say is, or what the point of this fucking story is they made fun of that whole fucking thing. You know what I mean? The they them, she's like, I don't understand it. If like I'm talking to you, why do I have to say they or that's not a third person? Right. Like, where's the other person? And she's like looking around, I don't see anybody. And then she's like, you know, the smells in here, I don't want any candles or anything. She's like, but you have a ferret in here. And then the girl, that was the first time she dealt with like a liberal like that. You know, she's a rich girl and whatever, and she starts fucking crying and she's just like, I'm out of here. And then the mother comes, but it was good to see that they made fun of that whole liberal shit. Yeah, with the they them shit and the fucking this is my safe space, and uh, I don't like music in here.

SPEAKER_03 2:18

So we're at the point where we're just making fun of we can we can make fun of it.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Certain shows are making fun of that bullshit.

SPEAKER_03 2:25

Yeah, it's like how long do you have to wait to make fun of 9-11? That type of thing. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

I think you could do it now.

SPEAKER_03 2:32

I think I think we're good now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Like, as long as it's not during 9-11.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

Right, right. You gotta have to some shit. Yeah, you have to have some sensibility.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

But with the whole fucking thing with her safe space and the fucking I can't have music playing, and then uh she was saying, Well, I meditate through these hours. And then the girl was saying, she's like, she went to go tell the uh dean, and the dean's like, Well, you have to respect her. She's like, What about me? She's not respecting anything, she didn't even ask me anything. So she wants me to respect her and her wishes and do what she wants, but I can't do anything.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Right.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

And then, dude, they were they were fucking tearing them apart. They tear apart the view all the time. They're like, you know, watching uh oh, watching the view is like farting in church. It's like that. Yeah, it's funny to watch or some shit. Right, right, right. Dude, it was good. That's funny. I forgot the fucking guy. You've seen this actor. Yeah, fucking Billy Bob Thornton or something.

SPEAKER_03 3:32

Or something like that, yeah. Dude, I like that guy. I never understood how the fuck that was possible, but because she was a smoking. Oh, I'm sure. I mean, you're data dating her, you it's either that or money, and she has money, so or confidence. Yeah, it used to be weird because like in the early 2000s, like they were like tongue each other down, like weird.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

That big jumps.

SPEAKER_03 3:58

Like I would never fucking tongue my girl down when people were watching like that. Nah, I ain't know that shit.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Nah. Weird shit.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

Yeah, right, here you go. Get the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

Slow down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, relax. Yeah. Let me grab my ass in public.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

Yeah, right. Don't stick a finger up, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

That's a good show. What else did we watch?

SPEAKER_03 4:18

I've been watching fucking uh what's it called? Uh East Mountain Down.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

What's that? Oh, that's that uh that's an older one.

SPEAKER_03 4:28

It's older, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

It's an older one. What's who? What's that guy? The comedian.

SPEAKER_03 4:34

Yes. Um I mean Will Farrell's on it. Um what's his fucking name? Uh fucking Danny McBride.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

Yeah, that's the guy.

SPEAKER_03 4:46

And uh fuck, who else was on there? I'm trying to think. What other Will Farrell's on there?

SPEAKER_01 4:56

I didn't know he was on there.

SPEAKER_03 4:57

Michael Pena.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

I'm gonna have to start watching that shit too.

SPEAKER_03 5:02

Fucking that show's pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

Um I'm almost done with uh Caribbean enthusiasm. I love that shit.

SPEAKER_03 5:08

That shit's fucking like 3,000 episodes, right? It didn't fucking longer. 12 seasons. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

I'm on like season 11 I just started.

SPEAKER_03 5:15

Is uh Love It. What's uh what's the Black Dude?

SPEAKER_01 5:21

I started watching uh I started watching Sopranos and I got like two or three episodes in. I was like, I don't know. Some of their fucking acting is like in the beginning, it's very stupid. And all their fucking, I'm like, none of my family talk like the fucking hair, fucking peppers. Yeah, I'm like, I don't. My family's all from New York, New Jersey. Yeah, same. And they talk, yeah, they have the Italian American New York accent. Yeah, but their characters on the Sopranos is like too fucking rage.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

Well, their the show is like what you would think the mafia's like, you know?

SPEAKER_01 6:00

I guess. I mean maybe the storyline is I don't know. Yeah, I can't get into it with the fucking pussy guy.

SPEAKER_04 6:08

I'm like looking like this, he got his rugged lips.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

And then what's the other guy who's a real gangster, right? Was he really? Yes. I don't know. Now I take it back because I want you to kill me and shit. Man, fuck you! I ain't scared.

SPEAKER_03 6:23

Just kidding. Just kidding. I think one of them was like uh like a cop too, like in real life, like cop or security guard.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

I think actually one of them was who's the other guy who always fucking killed people, beat people up. He was like maybe a second hand man. Go to Sopranos fucking their characters. Or a cast or some shit. I should just have a fucking plug in. Second plug in. Second plug-in in.

SPEAKER_03 7:05

Michael Imperioli?

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Let me see.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

Is that what you're talking about?

SPEAKER_01 7:09

The second guy next to that chick. I think she's a is she a pussy. Tony, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:13

Yeah, pussy. Polly walnuts. Wait, which one was pussy? Polly Walnuts is this one. That's the one you're talking about right now.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

Well, who's the other guy? Fuck. Oh, fuck. Well, you don't know what I'm talking about. Uh Vincent, the guy that fucking. No, not that guy. There was another guy. This is Big Pussy. Not ask that. Vincent Pastor. Name wrong.

SPEAKER_03 7:32

You're talking about Paul uh Pauly.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Well, I'm talking about him too. I think he was like a little gangster.

SPEAKER_03 7:36

Polly Walnuts?

SPEAKER_01 7:37

He was a he this guy was uh a like I thought he was like somebody he might have been a gangster. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 7:43

No, he was like uh like he had he had connections in the Sopranos. I know that. Like right before, like a few either a few years or like right before.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Oh hit show more. I want to see. There's another guy I'm thinking about. Oh, here we go. Where's dipshit? That guy's a piece of shit. Lilo Brancado.

SPEAKER_04 8:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

Fuck him and his fucking hairline, you scumbag. He had a cop killed that fuck. You're a fucking yeah. He's a fucking crackhead piece of shit. Or he was a crackhead. Don't sue me, you fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back in the day you were a crackhead. You're allegedly now, but you're not it. You are recovered now, and I apologize and I take it back. You're still a piece of shit, though. I don't give a fuck. Let's see. To me, you're a piece of shit. I don't know if you really are.

SPEAKER_04 8:37

That's about it.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

The views and a fan of the jumping reflecting of this not surprising podcast. Where the fuck's that other guy? No, there was another guy. Nope. What are you talking about? See him. There's a dude, yeah, black hair. Oh, right there! Steven Van Zand. Right there with the fucking do-rag.

SPEAKER_03 9:06

Oh, this guy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

He didn't even look normal. He looked like a retard with his lip. Like the character, I'm like, these dudes aren't fucking real. So I couldn't get into it. You know, like good fellas, you could get into it. Or even Did you watch The Irishman? Yeah, that was good.

SPEAKER_03 9:24

Was it really? I haven't watched it yet. I didn't want to because uh what's his name? Fucking Robert De Niro. And this is like after his fucking gay fucking rants.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

You just gotta get through that. Because he's a good actor, but he he fucked up his legacy with all this bullshit.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

Did you do you think uh Arnold fucked it up after the shit he said? Like fuck your freedom and all that shit, like when they were talking to him about like COVID and all that.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Yeah, it's fucking Arnold. They're retarded. Yeah, they're all dumb.

SPEAKER_03 9:56

Yeah, they're gonna die soon, you know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

I don't really give a fuck. I'll still watch his movie.

SPEAKER_03 10:03

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

I mean, I'll I've I I watched uh like that, but that other dude that was in uh that I said had the cop killed. Well, I don't know if he had the cop killed. He did uh Lilo Broncot. Yeah, look at him. You fucking douche. Let's see. Your fucking pointy chin. He's trying.

SPEAKER_03 10:23

But uh was involved in the murder of NYPD officer Danielle and Chow Teggy was shot and critically injured during the incident. But was not armed.

unknown 10:36

Why?

SPEAKER_01 10:36

He was like a he was like on drugs allegedly or something like that, and now he thinks he's trying to be a tough guy and one of these fucking things. Watch him want to fight me or something.

SPEAKER_03 10:47

Trying to see, there's not even uh Wikipedia. Here we go.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

He would have to be bald. He couldn't come at me with that fucking hairline.

SPEAKER_03 10:54

No. No.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

What year was he born?

SPEAKER_03 10:57

Legal Troubles. Uh he was born in 76. Legal Troubles. Ron Carlos are using drugs shortly after beginning his acting career, which is retarded. If you're an actor, like, and you haven't made, like you made it to Hollywood. Like if your dream is like acting, right? Yeah. And you're in the Sopranos. Let's just it doesn't even start with that. Yeah. And you're like, you know what? I'm gonna start doing crack. You're retarded.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

You're a fucking idiot. You should fucking lose everything. He's probably going to those parties. And then they start doing coke and shit like that.

SPEAKER_03 11:29

They have it hard too, because like you don't know what it what it is to use drugs and be.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

I'm not doing coke, jackass.

SPEAKER_03 11:36

No, right. Yeah. No. That was your first mistake.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

See, even working in the club scene, you think I didn't see fucking people snorting shit in the bathroom, or you know what I mean? Anybody that goes to a club will see it. Right. It doesn't mean I'm gonna fucking do it. Right. So if you go to a party, you're gonna see it. Right. You don't do it. So this motherfucker just had no self-control. Right.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

And even if, okay, like to get let's give him the benefit of the let's say he did coke. Let's say he did crack once, right? You're on the Sopranos. You're gonna fucking go, you know what? I'm gonna continue doing drugs. I wanna this is gonna end it well. I'm gonna do more crack. Yeah. Crack is such a shit drug. It is. Crack, heroin, fucking fentanyl.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

I think crack and meth and heroin.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

Meth is fucking bad, dude.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

Yeah, those are like the dirty drugs. Dirty street drugs. Cocaine is like you're in a fucking Bentley. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. You're doing it off of booty cheek.

SPEAKER_03 12:34

Yeah, do it off of booty cheek or off of the dash.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Rolex. Oh yeah. You just put cocaine on your Rolex. That's it.

SPEAKER_03 12:46

Oh right, it ain't that bad. Compared to fucking like dirty needle fucking heroin or fucking like black tar heroin or if you had to fake it, I would have to get like sugar.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

But I'd be like, yo, you can't see this.

SPEAKER_03 13:04

Isn't that what they use? Like real like in the scenes? Like in the fucking on TV.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

You know what they I told you when I went to Germany they were snorting shit. No. Oh. So we're sitting in fucking uh horse tranquilizer. Yeah. I don't know what they're doing. But I'm sitting, we're sitting in a beer tent, it's Oktoberfest. Yeah. And I see, and over there, you could drink at like fucking 16.

SPEAKER_03 13:26

Right. It's just here that you can't.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Yeah. So when I'm over there, I'm like, oh, this is a hot chick with leader hosing. And I can see from far away. Yeah. As I get closer, I'm like, motherfucker, you're like 16. So now I'm looking around, like, what the fuck is going on here? I said, well, this is gross. Yeah. Right. You know. So then I'm like, uh, well, forget that. Not look at you anymore. You know what I mean? I'm like, you just fucked it up. Yeah. No, they were like hotter chicks there, but you know, adults. But anyway, so they're drinking. It was weird to see them fucking walking around with kegs of beer, like the big Stein, and they're just fucking. So they're so all of a sudden I see the same girl and with her friends and stuff like that. She was in a table next to us with all her friends, and I see her sniff something off the fucking table. I'm like, yo, I think she just snorted coke. So then there's a guy walking around. There's a guy walking around, and then uh I see a keg like this, sniff it off of his wrist, you know, the whole cocaine thing, and I'm like, that was pretty cool looking, but you're like 12, yo. You shouldn't be doing that. So then I wasn't being a snitch, but I kind of was. I was like, yo, man, not for nothing. Yeah. I don't know how it is in Germany, but in the United States, 16-year-olds can't be doing crack, yo, or cocaine. I'm like, I'm just letting you know that's what's going on. You didn't hear from me. Yeah. He's like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's almost like an energy drink. Because they were he's like, no, we're selling it. And he had like a whole display and it had like a dude. It was like an energy thing that you just snort.

SPEAKER_03 15:06

So I think what you saw was, you know how here we do zins? I don't know. Do you do zins?

SPEAKER_01 15:12

No, but I know what it is. Yeah. So it's like a caffeine.

SPEAKER_03 15:15

So you know the powder that comes off of it? It might be that.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Yeah, that's probably what it was.

SPEAKER_03 15:19

Doing that shit like on TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

It's weird. Snorting it? Yes. Yeah, I'm telling you, they were snorting the shit. That's it's and it was white.

SPEAKER_03 15:25

I'm pretty sure that's fucking like dangerous.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

Do um do uh snortable energy germinate. I'm telling you, if you just do that, it'll pop up. Snortable energy powder. Yeah, see? Do it right there.

SPEAKER_03 15:42

Energy powder.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Let's see if that's it. Yeah, bump. It's even called bump. Yeah. Look at it. It looks like it's in a cocaine fucking vial. Holy shit. That is so bad for kids. That's terrible, dude. That has to be terrible. You're just you're fucking you're grooming them to fucking do crack. I mean coke. Yes. That was bad. Dude, that's crazy. Even 16 drinking. I didn't feel comfortable around those fucking kids. I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. Dude, there was a kid there who was like leaning against the wall. He had he looked like he was fucking 12. Hammered.

SPEAKER_03 16:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

But that's like hammered off of fucking.

SPEAKER_03 16:20

In fucking Germany, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

I don't know. Bump. I don't know if that was the exact brand, but that's what they were doing. I couldn't believe it.

SPEAKER_03 16:27

So on Reddit, uh some dude, some dude said, you know, I've saw this, you know, want a bump, you know, thing on my feed. And some dude said, as a recovering methamphetamine user, crack user, fucking with a process addiction, it's been really helpful. So you should if a fucking crack addict is telling you this has helped me, yeah, it's probably fucking bad.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

It's almost like for him, it's like drinking non-alcoholic beer to an alcoholic. That whole thing where you're sniffing it and you're going through the motions of everything.

SPEAKER_03 17:07

It's like uh the guys, the guys that smoke cigarettes, they have like the I don't know if you've seen like the wooden stick that has like uh it's fuck, what is it called? Um smokeless cigarettes. Uh let's see. What is this fucking shit called? It's like a wood fucking thing. It's called is it air?

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Is it air? Woo.

SPEAKER_03 17:43

You see this fucking thing, right? It's a smokeless inhaler. So basically it's a wood fucking stick with a metal thing at the end that you get like mint or like lemon. You get you get like a flavor, but you're like verbal air stick. Yeah. Wow. It's like that for a smoker.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Just to get that fixed. You're going through the motions.

SPEAKER_03 18:02

You're going through the motion. Part of the addiction is, you know, you have something in your hand, you're using it. Yeah. So it's like vaping, like a lot of people. Non-electric. Yeah. People that did smoking, they know that it's bad, so they are like, or if you want to groom your fucking start vaping.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

Your your society to fucking start snorting coke, you get a bump. Yeah. I'm telling you, they were selling this shit. I'm like, I don't know if that's a great idea, buddy.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

I don't think so either.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

I'm American, you're in Germany. Not my what do I have? I got nothing to say about this shit.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

This guy said, I'm a truck driver and I've been crushing and snorting caffeine pills for many years. I usually do it first. Yeah, that's super safe. Fucking while driving. I usually do it first thing when I wake up in the morning, gives you a quick little boost to get moving in the morning. I don't know about this bump powder, but I simply put the notos, oh no those. That's another fucking pill, and crush them up into a powder. It's cheaper than the bump powder, then you can buy them anywhere, and you don't have to wait for it to be shipped to you.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

Fucking that's insane. Because it gets in your bloodstream.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

So that's what we're doing. Take the notos pill. It's the same fucking thing.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

Or just fucking get more rest.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

That too, or buy an energy drink. Why are you snorting they're fucking-like particles into your lungs? No. No matter if it's if caffeine's safe or not.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

You're doing you're scarring your lungs. They probably they're probably past the point of energy drinks. Do you mean so much? Yeah, you're just immune to the shit. I think I am that I'm I'm that way with coffee, I think. I could have coffee or not have coffee.

SPEAKER_03 19:38

I could I could have I, you know, if I'm working, I'm gonna have an energy drink or two. Right? But if I'm at home, I don't ever have an energy drink when I'm at home.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

No, I don't do it either.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

And sometimes I have coffee in the mornings, I don't have to, you know. Yeah. It's nice. Um but if I'm if I'm working, I know that I'm gonna have there's point there's times where I've had three energy drinks at work. You know what I mean? But it's when I'm at work and I'm doing 16 hours.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

Yeah, you just gotta be fucking tired thinking about that shit. Yeah, right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:10

Yeah, I started thinking of you working fucking late.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

I was like, yeah, I'm tired already.

SPEAKER_03 20:15

But if I'm at home, why the fuck would I but these guys are like, yeah, I'm gonna snort caffeine right now.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

I'm telling you, dude, I saw it. I was like, what is going on? I don't know. I was like, that's not cool, man.

SPEAKER_03 20:27

No, I think it's legal.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

Yeah, all right.

SPEAKER_03 20:30

Like people, fuck, no, I don't people say, oh, well, caffeine pills are are, you know, they're not dangerous, so snorting them shouldn't be dangerous. And I'm pretty sure any particle that isn't air is gonna start.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

If it's made into a pill form, you're supposed to take it in the phone. That's a pill, right? Not fucking why you but they want to uh bypass the oral part because they want it now. They know it's an asshole that's part of absorbs more shit.

SPEAKER_03 20:55

Yeah, just shove it up your ass and you'll be I think you'll be just as good. Maybe that's called a uh oh you fuck. You dealt with that in uh prison, right? Yeah. Oh, um is it boofing? No, boofing is when you put up drugs inside your ass.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

No. Yes. Ah, I forget the fucking word. It's uh say put what's the slang word for putting drugs in your ass?

SPEAKER_03 21:23

Urban dish Urban Dictionary. Let's see. Uh Surgeon Urban Dictionary confirms these definitions. Where in Boofing is the insertion of intoxicating substances ranging from cocaine to alcohol into the anus.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

So take so so do uh inserting drugs is something else I'm thinking of. Inserting drugs into your asshole.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

Oh, that's like click on boofing, and then there's like uh an urban dictionary, and then it gives you like the synonyms the one I'm thinking is an boofing. Let's see. Let's see. I thought they did it.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

No, there's no boofing. There is no boofing.

SPEAKER_00 22:10

Oh, what the fuck is it called? Uh putting things.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

I can hear Jim Norton, the comedian, saying that right now. Because he does it. Or he did it. I don't know if he does it.

SPEAKER_03 22:22

Or he talked about it. Wait, what are you calling me to look at?

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Putting drugs in your asshole. In your asshole.

SPEAKER_03 22:33

You know, if I ever go into another profession and they have to look into my computer, they're going to say, what the fuck are you looking at?

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Don't bring that motherfucker. Don't bring that shit. You better get a brand new fucking computer. And they're like, are you boofing, son? Son, are you boofing?

SPEAKER_00 22:49

No.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

And then after this, we're going to look up Doc Ng. And then we're going to look up.

SPEAKER_03 22:57

It comes up back again, boofing. Ah, it's not boofing.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Not what I'm thinking of.

SPEAKER_03 23:01

Can drugs be administered analyzed? Booty bumping?

SPEAKER_01 23:05

No. That's so mad.

SPEAKER_03 23:08

Muzzle loading, inserting rock cocaine into your anus, and then using your partner's hard penis to push the crack deep into you.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

You know what I want to do? I want to fucking I'm going to tan my asshole this. I've been watching a lot of that.

SPEAKER_03 23:27

You gotta lighten it.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

It's supposed to fucking No, not tan for the color, like to make it look pretty. But if you if you fucking so let's say I'm on my back and my knees are touching my ear.

SPEAKER_03 23:39

I cannot imagine this.

SPEAKER_01 23:41

But you have to aim the sun with between 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_03 23:44

The sun, whatever the thing?

SPEAKER_01 23:45

Yeah, it gives you nutrients. So between all right, Google it. Between 30 seconds to three minutes, no more than three minutes.

SPEAKER_03 23:52

You get vitamin E by just staining there. I don't need to show it my asshole.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

No, you get way more through your asshole. It's like boofing. No way. Yeah. Alright. Google it.

SPEAKER_03 24:01

That's what's it fucking called?

SPEAKER_01 24:03

Sun tanning your asshole. Is sun tanning your asshole healthy? I'm telling you. I'm doing it. I just gotta wait till my neighbors are out. Like, I gotta wait till like the kids are out. You know what I mean? Because now they're fucking playing outside now. And I can't fucking go out, let the dog out naked anymore.

SPEAKER_03 24:22

Pyrrhinium sunning or butthole sunning. Yeah, there you go. Told you is a viral wellness trend involved involving exposing the perennium to direct sunlight for short periods, allegedly, allegedly, to boost energy, improve sleep, and increase libido. However, medical professionals and dermatologists strongly advise against it, noting. 30 seconds again. Yeah, fuck you.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

There is.

SPEAKER_03 24:48

Who fucking came up with who said, you know what? I'm gonna pull out my fucking asshole and my cock and just show it to the sun.

SPEAKER_01 24:55

Some dude who knows what he's talking about. Look at it. Go images.

SPEAKER_03 24:58

It has to be some random white lady.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

Go to images from there.

SPEAKER_03 25:00

It has to be some random white lady that was at home with the kids, and she was like, I have nothing better to do.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

I want to see if this works. And then she's like, dude, I have mad energy.

SPEAKER_03 25:08

It's like a B12 shot.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

You could do it between 30 seconds and five minutes. I'm not saying there were five minutes. But I gotta make sure my neighbors are on vacation.

SPEAKER_03 25:17

My back would fucking hurt for five minutes. You're fucking full. See, my porch.

SPEAKER_01 25:24

I could do it on my upper decker porch, but it's not safe to go on. Do you imagine if I fucking had my knees to my ears naked in the fucking porch collapse? And I'm knocked out with my pants down.

SPEAKER_03 25:38

You know that isn't an upper deck or when you shit in the tank.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

Oh, anybody upper deck should be. I'm burning your fucking house down. Go to images. I'm not going to tell you. Just go to images. It's not gonna do anything bad. You'll see. Go ahead. See? Look at that. See? Right here. I told you.

SPEAKER_03 25:55

I fucking knew it.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 25:57

That's fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

I've seen her before. She's on uh the sex movies. Not porno, but like uh like a therapist, sex therapist. Butthole. The sun in your butthole. Look at that guy or girl or whatever that is.

SPEAKER_03 26:12

Which one?

SPEAKER_01 26:13

That one. This one? No. Nope.

SPEAKER_03 26:16

This one?

SPEAKER_01 26:16

Or the one up? Those are two dudes. Oh, this one. That's a chick. Is it a chick? Click on it. Oh, they fucking fucking blurred it. They blurred out the vag. But that's what I'm gonna do. You're gonna come over the bag. That's why I even tell my neighbor, I said, hey, before you fucking come over, you better fucking call my name.

SPEAKER_03 26:40

He did it like three three minutes. He did it the other day.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

He had to ask me a question about cameras and stuff. Yeah. He's like, are you available? I was like, oh fuck. I'm trying to relax, dude. I'm like, yeah, be right over. Yeah. Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_03 26:56

He's got termites or something? What the fuck? His fucking shit is falling off too.

SPEAKER_01 26:59

Oh no, that's from the uh the storm we had, that windstorm. Oh. That fucking siding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So he might come over one day and I'm fucking doing that. So that's why you gotta do it on the deck so nobody sees you. My shit is private once the leaves come in. You can't see shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm fine.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

Unless you got like a fucking uh hunter in the fucking woods.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Well, that's your fault.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

Shaving a fucking rifle right at your asshole, dude.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

Unless you're prying the branches open, you're not gonna see me. There's no way. I got so much foliage.

SPEAKER_03 27:33

I guarantee you somebody can see you from far.

SPEAKER_01 27:35

Well, I'm sure fucking aliens and shit. But there's nobody that's gonna see me. Nobody. Nobody. If I can't see your window, you can't see me. Yeah. I mean, if I go in the middle of my yard, yeah. Right. But if I can't see your window, you can't see me. You don't think they can see you from the road? No. No way. Really? You can't see you from the road. You can't see my hot tub or anything.

SPEAKER_03 27:56

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

You can't. And then I let the weeds grow in certain areas.

SPEAKER_03 28:00

Only your fucking neighbors can.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Once you get you'd have to even when you're in the once you get once you're in your car and you start driving in, you can kind of see it. If your your car is higher, you could see it. But you have to be driving in.

SPEAKER_03 28:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

But if nobody, who the fuck's gonna drive in? Nobody.

SPEAKER_04 28:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

There's been a couple times I'm sun in my butthole, let's say, and fucking, I didn't know we had Amazon come in. Yeah. And I fucking run inside with my butt cheek flapping in the wind.

SPEAKER_03 28:27

Is that why you have those fucking black bins up there at the corner? What the fuck is that? No, that's for my fucking mail.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

What the fuck is that? The cocksuckers won't fucking drive in my uh my driveway.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

So you have a secondary mailbox?

SPEAKER_01 28:40

Like a giant fucking bin? We came to fucking like a mafia agreement with the PS guy? With the the mail the USPS. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:49

No shit.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

So I'm like, just do me a favor.

SPEAKER_03 28:51

Well, he doesn't want to drive down to your house.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

They won't do it. So I wasn't getting mail ever. I mean, I get mailboxes, but for packages, I wasn't getting anything.

SPEAKER_03 29:01

I don't I don't think I've ever seen your mailbox.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

Yeah, it's in front. It's there. But uh, so that box is for packages.

SPEAKER_03 29:10

Oh. Oh, he doesn't want to drive down with a package?

SPEAKER_01 29:13

So we we made an agreement that he'll go that far.

SPEAKER_03 29:17

I'll go halfway.

SPEAKER_01 29:18

Yeah, I'm like, fine. Just as long as I get my shit.

SPEAKER_03 29:21

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

I said, I don't want to fucking I get there. What if he's not here? What do you mean? What if it's another guy? No, they know already. I get all my shit. Oh. Like they there's only a few guys. Yeah. And then it says like a little note on there.

SPEAKER_03 29:34

I was reading, I was like, what the fuck is that?

SPEAKER_01 29:37

Yeah. Yeah, don't do that.

SPEAKER_03 29:39

Yeah, no. Fucking clank, clank, clank.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

That's a truck box.

SPEAKER_03 29:42

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

Yeah. So I had that, and then um there's been times where they wouldn't deliver. And I said, fuck them, they're gonna hold on to it. And I ordered something else from somewhere else. Yeah, I'm like, fuck it, you keep it. Now you gotta bring the bullet boxes. Now they're like, your package is still here. No, it's your package. You own it. Yeah. I'm not coming to get it.

SPEAKER_03 30:00

Right.

unknown 30:00

No.

SPEAKER_03 30:01

Bring it to my fucking page.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

So now they gotta hold on to it for two fucking weeks. You have to. Yeah. Hey, you gotta hold on to it for 14 days. I might come get it. Yeah. And then just to be a dick.

SPEAKER_03 30:08

And you get it, I'm fucking. I might order more shit.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Yeah. Because I know you're not gonna deliver. You're gonna have fucking 18 fucking boxes there. Big ones. I might order a stroller.

SPEAKER_03 30:16

They're gonna get a fucking uh a bigger truck. You're gonna make them get a bigger truck just to bring your fucking.

SPEAKER_01 30:22

I might order a patio set. Yeah. Knowing you're not gonna deliver it. It's gonna get returned. So what? I'll keep the fucking 14-day charge of my card and then I'll get sent back.

SPEAKER_03 30:32

Right.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

Oh well. Fuck them. Now it's fucking black and your whole shit. You're gonna keep fucking around, I'll do it. No, but they're good with me so far. We have a new postmaster. The other postmaster was a fucking thief.

SPEAKER_03 30:44

Really?

SPEAKER_01 30:45

Yeah. Nobody liked him.

SPEAKER_03 30:46

How so?

SPEAKER_01 30:48

Well, because you got stealing money or he was stealing packages and shit, whatever, and then they moved him to where I am, and blah, blah, blah. And then uh one of the uh eyeglass places was losing, mysteriously losing fucking expensive glasses that were ordered. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:08

Just so happened to be losing shit.

SPEAKER_01 31:09

He used to call me Little Angry Man. I said, Well, you're a big fucking retard, dickhead. Oh, I used to get so mad at him. I'm like, where is he? I'd bang on the fucking door. Come outside. I gotta talk to you. I got this fucking letter. Dude, I would get a letter saying that they tried to deliver my shit. Yep. And uh I would check all of my 15 fucking cameras. Yeah. Not one fucking car came in there. And I showed him the fight. I said, let's sit down and go through all my fucking footage.

SPEAKER_03 31:39

Dude, I that happened to me too in my town. Um I fucking some letter that I needed to fucking be delivered. I just got the orange slip. Like, hey, we you fucking missed you. Like, bitch, you didn't even get out of the truck. So I live in a town where the guy just drives and and he drives up to the mill and he puts, he like slides the shit in and he drives to the next one. Yeah. You know, there's no walk there's no walking.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

No, it isn't. Yeah. And if he had to walk, it's a two-second walk.

SPEAKER_03 32:06

No, no, no. They're not getting out. Yeah, that's stupid. So I just get the orange slip and I'm like, I'm not answering this shit. No. Whatever.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

Not doing it. That's your fault.

SPEAKER_03 32:14

Why don't you come up to the fucking house and say, hey, I have a letter for you. Can you sign?

SPEAKER_01 32:18

Yeah, because they're lazy fucking assholes.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

I'm not a fan of post office.

SPEAKER_03 32:21

Me either.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

Not a fan of post.

SPEAKER_03 32:23

That's one of the government things that needs to be fucking. We don't need them.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

No. We don't need them. We have FedEx, UPS, and Amazon.

SPEAKER_03 32:31

Yes. Give it to them. Give them the fucking letter for DHL or whatever the fuck.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

I don't need you.

SPEAKER_03 32:36

It should be. If the state really needs you, or the IRS, or whoever the fuck, right? FedEx. You have my fucking uh email. Email. Send me the fucking letter.

SPEAKER_01 32:48

Yeah.

unknown 32:48

Right?

SPEAKER_03 32:49

It should be some sort of verification where it's like, you know how if you're uh trying to log into Google, it says uh do this little capture thing to know that you're verifying, right? And then you verify that you got the fucking thing. Yeah. Right. If if it's past that and let's just say it's something important that they need you in like a week or whatever, then send the fucking person. I've done uh I've never received a letter that's like fuck, I gotta answer it right fucking now.

SPEAKER_01 33:15

I think I did my mortgage over the fucking internet. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did. Me too. And refinancing and everything. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 33:23

You there's like a attorney sends you the thing, they're like, oh, that's it. You sign one one time and then just click the fucking boxes as you go down. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 33:31

Yeah. That's it. Yeah, well, whatever. Fuck the UPS. But fucking IRS has to fucking I think I did a show. I think I did a show as fuck USPS. Yeah, you know the name of it. I didn't say this guy's name, but he knows who I'm talking about. You big doofy motherfucker, and you had your long hair to your shoulders, and I had to look up at you because you were taller than me, but I still told you go fuck yourself.

SPEAKER_03 33:57

So you went to the hospital when I was giving birth. Yes. And uh, God. My asshole was spread. And uh my mom saw you, and she was like, He's shorter than he sounds. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. My mom, when I told her she was like, Oh, it must be, you know, uh your friend or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool, because she she's never met you before. And uh I go, Oh, you know, that's uh that's Frank from the podcast. And she goes, What? I thought he was like seven feet fucking tall. What's up, man? You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 34:34

Yeah, Frank nasty in this motherfucker.

SPEAKER_00 34:37

Isn't that crazy what people think you look like? Yes, they've never seen you. I'm a little fuck. Yep. We're both fucking little fucking turds.

SPEAKER_01 34:45

Together, we're about seven feet tall. If you stack us on top of each other. I think we're about eleven feet. Yeah. Give or take. So that's not too tall.

SPEAKER_03 34:54

Not too tall, no.

SPEAKER_01 34:55

Dude, when I fucking when I had to shit, I shit like four times that day.

SPEAKER_03 35:00

That same day? Yeah. Oh, when I told you to go.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

Yeah, and I'm like, dude, I gotta shit, I gotta shit. So I went right near the fucking nurse's station and it was like and it was echoing in the toilet. I'm like, you fuck. And then they're like right there. And then they're like, the radio goes off. I told them where I was. Yeah. I was like, hey, I'm here visiting whatever. Sure. So take me offline for a few minutes. Yeah. And then they're like, unit such and such. Yeah. Can you have to at the Mastic? It wasn't even in my second. I'm like, I got fucking diarrhea coming out of my asshole. So then I had to text so and so, and I'm like, dude, I'm gonna be there in a second. I got I'm fucking leaking out of my asshole. It hurts so then I get there. Yeah, nothing. Thank God. Well, thank God another unit showed us now. We had three. And I'm like, Yo, I'm gonna check perimeter. It's like I got a shit. I'm not gonna I can't hold it. Yeah. Then I had to run back.

SPEAKER_03 35:54

It's because you'd be drinking that fucking black coffee with nothing on it.

unknown 35:57

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

That should be running through you. I don't know what I did. No, but I'm fine with that.

SPEAKER_03 36:03

Normally?

SPEAKER_01 36:03

I don't know what I did.

SPEAKER_03 36:05

I don't know. I think it is. Because you that happens to me too. Because I've only drank black coffee like in rare instances.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

I drink it all the time.

SPEAKER_03 36:13

And it goes right through me. But if I have like some creamer, for whatever reason, even though I'm lactose intolerant, it doesn't it's not as bad.

SPEAKER_01 36:21

No, I if I'm so if it's my day off, yeah, I'm in the morning, and I drink it, it'll fucking hit me. I'm like, oh, I gotta take a shit. But not like a liquid shit. This was bad, it hurt. It hurt my stomach. It hurt really bad. And I called this bad. I was like, I think I'm gonna have to call out again. I was like, don't call me. Yeah. Don't call me. I'm going home.

SPEAKER_03 36:43

Dude, if I shit three times in a row, I'm like, I'm going home.

SPEAKER_01 36:46

I couldn't fuck. I was it was like two o'clock was my second. Like 1.50 or whatever time I left. Yeah. I took shit with you. Well, not with you, but when I was with you. Then we're holding hands. Yeah. And then I went to that thing and I had to go take another shit.

SPEAKER_03 37:02

Have you ever almost shit your pants while on a call? Like you're like you're actively talking to somebody and you're like, dude, I'm gonna shit myself.

SPEAKER_01 37:10

No. Because I'm so paranoid. If I feel any pressure on my anus, I'm fucking going to-Yep, I don't give a shit. I'll force it right out. That's why I get hemorrhoids.

SPEAKER_03 37:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:20

Because I force shit out. Because it's fucking job. Make me shit. Um time to shit.

SPEAKER_03 37:26

I fucking did so I I can do I can do like fucking like two, three zins at a time. Right. I'm I've I'm used to it at this point. If I'm at work, right? I don't zen or I and I don't drink energy drinks when I'm not working, right? Yeah. And this one time I put in two zins and I hadn't eaten nothing all day. I did not eat anything.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

That makes you sick. Caffeine. Or the nicotine. Nicotine, that's right.

SPEAKER_03 37:52

So I put the two two pouches in. I think they were like nine milligrams, which is uh a lot. It's a lot.

SPEAKER_00 37:59

Nine each? Nine each.

SPEAKER_03 38:00

I don't even know what the fuck is. I I can do nine each. Like what's the range? You know, I'll just say for a pussy, you do three, and then normal is like six.

SPEAKER_01 38:09

And then high is nine.

SPEAKER_03 38:10

And then high is like nine or twelve. Holy shit. Yes. I go straight for twelve, see what happens. I I do twelve. Oh, you do puke immediately. I'm gonna do it. We should try. Nope.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

We're gonna try and we should try next week. We should. I don't know. I'm scared.

SPEAKER_03 38:24

I have fifties.

SPEAKER_01 38:25

I'm not doing a fifty. No, I'm not doing that shit.

SPEAKER_03 38:29

Like European shit is fucking crazy. So I'll do a 12. I can bang out. That's another story. But so I put in two nines, which is my normal if I'm like going to like a hot call or whatever. It gets me like I'm centered. I'm focused, right? If you want a cop, you want him focused on whatever the fuck it is, right? So got two in, drank the little energy drink. You know, I show up to the call. And that's it's normal. Like I usually operate normally. I go into the call with my partner, right? And immediately, like this is like two, three minutes after, right? Shit. No, like I s my head starts buzzing. Yeah. And like my knees start getting weak. I start shaking. Like I like my hands are like soaking wet right now. Start shutting you down. It has a reverse effect. Yes. You had too much. And this is like this has happened like rarely, right? And I'm talking to the lady and you're panting out. Now I'm not focused at all. And luckily it was like uh, oh, can you tell my neighbor to like not brush or leaves to fucking and I'm like, sure, I'll talk to your neighbor. Let me get the fuck out of here right now. So then it was one of those situations where you have to grab the handrail because you're gonna you're gonna go down. Yes. So then so then I'm looking at my partner and I go, dude, I almost passed out in there. That's crazy. What? And I go, yeah, I think I did one too many zins with it.

SPEAKER_01 39:53

Yeah, because it's doing a reverse effect on you now.

SPEAKER_03 39:56

It's one of those, like, when you think about like cops that are going call to call to call, and this is It's like the drug when they took in fucking Vietnam and shit.

SPEAKER_01 40:06

Yes. Just keep them going. Yes. Nope. If I'm tired, I ain't going.

SPEAKER_03 40:09

So, you know, going call to call and uh you're not eating, right?

SPEAKER_01 40:15

Yeah, you got no fucking substance.

SPEAKER_03 40:17

You get the energy drink, which is like the zero calorie.

SPEAKER_01 40:20

Shit, excuse me.

SPEAKER_03 40:22

You got the zero calorie energy drink. So you you're literally in a caloric caloric deficit. Yeah, and you got nothing.

SPEAKER_01 40:28

And now you're putting in zins. And nothing is absorbing. There's not nothing in your stomach absorbing.

SPEAKER_03 40:33

My mouth was super dry.

SPEAKER_01 40:34

Yep. Yeah, you were dying.

SPEAKER_03 40:36

Yeah. And then I'll I fucking spit them out immediately. Yeah, well, too late now. I need to sit sit down. Too late now. I sat down in the cruiser for like two minutes, and I'm like, all right, let me go talk to this lady about her fucking leaves. I had driving. I've never almost shit myself on a call.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

No.

SPEAKER_03 40:51

I've almost shit myself going to the PD.

SPEAKER_01 40:53

Oh, yeah, I've done that. Where it's like, yeah, I gotta go. Yeah. But the closest thing I got to you, we were driving to Carolina, and I had an energy drink, a power bar that it was supposed to be energy or whatever. I don't know if it's a power bar, and then a Snickers right after. Okay. So I had a in a row. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I my legs were shaking, but it wasn't like you. That was the closest I ever got, and then I got nervous. And I pulled over and said, I gotta walk around. I gotta walk around. I'm nervous. I think I'm gonna die. And that's nothing.

SPEAKER_03 41:23

Has it ever happened to you like uh like uh like with cigars?

SPEAKER_01 41:28

If you do like a triple Maduro, which is the dark leaves, a lot of cat, a lot of cat, holy fuck, a lot of nicotine in that that'll get you fucking you can feel high from it, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're not fucking, if you don't have any food in your stomach, you can you'll get an upset stomach and you're feeling frozen. So pretty much like you said with those 12s, I'll do it on an empty stomach to see what happens.

SPEAKER_03 41:48

Yeah. Dude, I fucking was in South Korea and I was at a bus stop. Because, you know, you either, you know, in South Korea and you're in the military, probably. You ain't got a car. Hell no. So you're gonna take taxis and which are cheaper, you know. You're doing uh they're like two, three dollars there, at least in the time when I went. I'm sure they're not now. Yeah. But um I was waiting for the bus. And you know, you wait at like this little bus like stop and like other military people show up and you're kind of like going around the base. I was the only one there. And I was dipping at the time. Dude, I put a mean fucking dip in. And dude, I fucking fell backwards. Because I was standing up and I fell backwards onto the little fucking like the platform or whatever? No, the um like the bench. Oh yeah. You sit down and I was like, I need to fucking spit this shit out right now. Oh fuck. I'm gonna fucking throw up immediately. Nope. It hasn't happened many times, but the times that it has happened, it's like crazy.

SPEAKER_01 42:48

A Maduro will get you like that or a strong cigar. Yeah. If you don't eat, you're gonna get fucking you'll get a buzz. Yeah. And uh so if you have like a bourbon with a Maduro or a triple or whatever it is, or something strong, you get a fucking you get buzzed quick. Yeah. And if you don't eat, you're gonna feel like thrown up fast.

SPEAKER_03 43:05

I feel like you would get addicted to like zins.

SPEAKER_01 43:12

Cigars are different. I mean, I'm talking about nicotine.

SPEAKER_03 43:15

Like you you drink coffee in the morning, right? So maybe like I say, like if you did like a six or like a three, maybe not a dependent, but I would like I need this just to get you.

SPEAKER_01 43:27

I like it.

SPEAKER_03 43:28

Yeah. Like if you put one in, like as soon as you wake up.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

Like, you know what? That's good, I'll do this. Yeah. Yeah, I probably would. Yeah. I would.

SPEAKER_03 43:34

You get like the unflavored ones. Because if you're drinking coffee, you don't want like a mint flavored one. You know what I mean? So if you get like unflavored ones, they don't have any taste, they're just like the sensation.

SPEAKER_01 43:44

I can't do this shit. It's good for you, the nicotine.

SPEAKER_03 43:49

It is, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:49

Yeah, it's good.

SPEAKER_03 43:50

At least Joe Rogan says it is.

SPEAKER_01 43:52

But even I've seen other shit where they say it could be just algorithm and they want to promote it, like they say.

SPEAKER_03 43:56

Marble and Tucker Carlson fucking promoting his. Yeah, Marvel.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

Lights were were good for you, and you know, even though you're pregnant, you can still smoke them. Mercury uh stopped colds. Right. You know what I mean? So it could be whatever, but um they say it has something to do with Alzheimer's, it like slows it down, or who the fuck knows.

SPEAKER_03 44:15

I feel like I I'm forgetting more shit now than I used to.

SPEAKER_01 44:18

It's stress.

SPEAKER_03 44:20

I don't know. That's stress. Might be that COVID fucking shot.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

Could be that. No, I think it's stress.

SPEAKER_04 44:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:28

Because when whenever I'm fucking uh I got a lot going on. You know, you got the baby thing, you get work and scheduling, and yeah, that's stress.

SPEAKER_03 44:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:40

Dude, I walk in the kitchen, like, I don't know what I'm doing now. Yeah, I'm just standing there. I'll have a plate in my hand and forget it's fucking dinner time. Like, uh, you know what? I'm going, I'm going back to the fucking. Then I said, I'm like, fuck, I was gonna get dinner. Yeah. When one time I got up to take a shit, Step Dart started talking to me. I was like, I sat back down, I was like, yeah, I forgot to take a shit. Fuck. I ain't getting back up. Fuck it. Yeah. I'm not getting back up. I don't care. I'm not getting back up. Dude, she shit. So bad. In my car, I know.

SPEAKER_03 45:09

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:10

So we were in, we went to go uh visit the nieces and nephews they did uh in Georgia. They did a uh competition, whatever. And uh I think 12, 10. Well, they're around that age. Put that and you know, like your kid's age, yeah. And then one's a little older. So Digatron took a shit right before it was like, let's say 9 a.m. Yeah. We finished their fucking thing, let's say one. I don't know. Go back in there. So me and my niece, she's like, I'll come with you, Uncle Franke. At their house? No, this is in the hotel. Like, I was two rooms down, and I had to go get something like Steph's glasses or some shit. I'll go with you, Uncle Frankie. Okay, come on. So I open up the door, I hold the door open. She goes, Why'd you do that? I got I gotta get out of here, dude. And fucking nine, ten, eleven, twelve, one, four hours later.

SPEAKER_03 46:05

That's crazy. But then after that, don't they have like the vents in the fucking hotel?

SPEAKER_01 46:09

She had it on. That's crazy. But she shut it off right after. So that doesn't defeat the whole purpose. Right. She had, and then she wouldn't stop shitting for the next three days. Everything she ate, she would shit. She just stopped shitting yesterday. It's like when you go to like another country and they say, like, don't drink the water and all that shit. She had some salad with fish in it. I don't know. Right? So we did that, and then the guy was giving us, he was cool. I liked him though. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:37

He was giving us uh Was it like a like a mom and pop shop?

SPEAKER_01 46:40

No, it was a hotel across the street that had like a nice bar.

SPEAKER_03 46:43

Okay. They probably don't sell fish a lot.

SPEAKER_01 46:45

No. So that's why. Yeah, I don't fuck with any of that bullshit. So then uh she had that, then all of a sudden she had the shits. Every time she ate something, she shitted out. I'm like, yo, if you give me this fucking bug, dude, yeah, it was a salmon. Yeah. So then so two days of constant shitting.

SPEAKER_03 47:01

Yeah. And then you should tell her that like 90% of salmon have fucking parasites. Yeah. Yeah. But watch this.

SPEAKER_01 47:08

So she was shitting all day. She took a shower in the morning, was shitting all day. Yeah. Then we were tired and laying in bed, and then she wants to get freaky. I'm like, no, first of all.

SPEAKER_03 47:19

Go wash that ass.

SPEAKER_01 47:20

I took her hand, I said, I put it back on there. I was like, absolutely not. With your fucking sewer asshole. You know that leak, ready? Matter of fact, you're gonna get an infection in your vagina because I'm 100% sure the particles went in there. You go take a shower.

SPEAKER_00 47:34

I don't want it.

SPEAKER_01 47:35

Well, then you ain't touching my shit. I'm not putting my fucking beautiful king penis in there. Not going anywhere near that fucking thing. Get out of here. Give a fuck we've been together forever. Clinton, yeah, I gotta smell that shit, dick. Fuck that. Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_04 47:54

Whatever.

SPEAKER_01 47:54

Yeah, whatever. It is whatever motherfucker. Kick rocks, bitch. I don't care if they have dick cheese. Yeah, I don't care if I got shmegma in my foreskin. We both were running around all day today and went to bed dirty, but it ain't our bed, so we didn't give a fuck. All dirty. She's like, should we take a shower? That's a hotel room. Yeah. Look cleaner. Give a fuck. Yeah. All dirty. You're a shit asshole. Digga child, if you're listening. Sorry. You have a shitty asshole. She's like, it hurts when I wipe. She goes, I haven't shit this much since the colonoscopy. She's like, that's exactly I have nothing more to shit out. Dude, she would eat.

SPEAKER_03 48:40

That's why you gotta travel with the light and not fucking just dry toilet paper.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

She would have run out. Dude, I'm tired.

SPEAKER_03 48:46

It's a lot better than fucking dry toilet paper.

SPEAKER_01 48:48

Thank God we we ended up at my mom's house where she could shit whatever was. So we're getting on the plane.

SPEAKER_02 48:53

She's like, I'm scared to eat. I said, I don't give a fuck. I'm eating.

SPEAKER_01 48:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:57

Yo, let me get sausage, egg and cheese real quick. Um, everything bagel. I was like, yo, Steph, what do you want? She's like.

SPEAKER_01 49:04

She should have done just a couple fucking shots. She's like, should I just get a bagel with cream cheese? I'm like, I don't know if the cream cheese is gonna work out for you. I said, fuck you, you might as well just go egg and cheese. Yeah, that's it. Bacon, egg and cheese. Not even. I said, but if we're gonna get it, get it now. You have a fucking hour and a half to shit. Right. And then she's she's eating half of it. You don't want to shit on the plane. She's like, I'm scared. Yeah. I said, just fucking eat it. Worst comes to worse, you gotta shit on a plane. Dude, I've never shit on a plane. Nope. I did once. I refused. When I was a new flyer. No. Because I had to shit. But now I'll shit. I will force a shit out.

SPEAKER_03 49:38

If you're gonna shit on a plane, you gotta think.

SPEAKER_01 49:41

I'll force the shit out before I get on it, I mean.

SPEAKER_03 49:42

Yeah. If you're gonna shit on a plane, you gotta think. Alright, how long does it take to pee?

SPEAKER_01 49:48

Those are nasty fucking toilets.

SPEAKER_03 49:50

Not even that.

SPEAKER_01 49:50

You gotta think like 45 people just saw me get up. Oh, I don't give a fuck if I'm still in there. I don't know. I'll pop pimples in the mirror. I don't give a fuck. It's my time. It's my you got your fucking, it's my time.

SPEAKER_03 50:02

These people just saw me get up. Now I'm in here for 15 fucking minutes. They know I got the shit.

SPEAKER_01 50:06

I'm pulling limp balls out of my foreskin. I'm like, ah, looking at it. No, I gotta be like, all right, let it breathe.

SPEAKER_03 50:12

Top tops, it takes two minutes to peep. You gotta wash your hands and wash your hands. Right? I wash my hands. So you gotta fucking and fucking get wipe and get it. I get out of here.

SPEAKER_01 50:24

I don't care. No, I don't care. It's I'm not trying to be rude, but I gotta shit. Yeah. But I don't shit there. No.

SPEAKER_03 50:32

I I'd rather but I'd rather shit on a plane than in the airport fucking bathroom.

SPEAKER_01 50:37

I bring lights all. The little bottles, travel bottles. You go, you you sit in the phone. Oh your feet are touching the other guy's feet, and then you No, not even that.

SPEAKER_03 50:45

You the stall, there's like fucking one-inch gaps on the fucking doors. You're like, I'm staring at the guy staring at me as I'm sitting here. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 50:53

I don't care. You want to look at me? We're just staring at each other.

SPEAKER_03 50:57

I think you're a lot more comfortable shitting with other people staring at you than I am. Yeah. And I've been in the military. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:03

You want to fucking stare at me? Well, if a guy's peeking in and I see his eyeball, I'm like, yo, get the fuck out of here. I'll spit on the eye. What are you gonna do? I'll spit on his eye. You fucking out of here. I'll reach in the toilet ball and splash it with fucking doo-doo.

SPEAKER_03 51:17

At least in the military, if you're shitting, you are under the expectation that like there's no like stalls. It's just like open bands. Yeah, it's and people.

SPEAKER_01 51:28

People were like, you know, I'm sure they'll avoid eye contact or any type of contact. So you know they're not looking.

SPEAKER_03 51:33

Everybody that the fucking, you're like, ah, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 51:35

Oh, if I see somebody looking, I'm throwing fucking shit over the side. Fuck you, dude.

SPEAKER_03 51:39

No, but the toilets are like from where you and I are.

SPEAKER_01 51:43

Like inmate toilets. They had them in fucking Bridgeport Correctional.

SPEAKER_03 51:46

Yeah, a giant fucking.

SPEAKER_01 51:48

Not even. They just had a wall like this.

SPEAKER_03 51:50

No, there's no wall. It's just like everybody's like seeing each other. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 51:54

Like we're sitting here.

SPEAKER_03 51:55

Here, but there's like five. No dividers just all next to each other. Nah, then at least they have a divider. Nah, dude. And it's obviously some places, not like all places.

SPEAKER_01 52:05

Damn, dude. But like what the fuck's happening? They couldn't spend an extra five grand to put a fucking wall. They could not. Yeah, fuck that.

SPEAKER_03 52:11

It's insane, dude.

SPEAKER_01 52:12

I you know what I would do? I would make my own little fucking divider tent, and here you go. I'd bring it with me. Like, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 52:20

Bathroom.

SPEAKER_01 52:21

I'm not shitting next to you like that. Dickhead. Yeah, she uh the shit's crazy. Let's get freaky. Fuck now, we're getting freaky.

SPEAKER_03 52:34

Like that, like this ass boy.

SPEAKER_01 52:35

Hell no. Oh, I forgot.

SPEAKER_03 52:39

How the fuck did you forget? See, this is what they look like.

SPEAKER_01 52:44

Oh no. Yes. That's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 52:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 52:46

So people that troth is even worse.

SPEAKER_03 52:49

Yeah. Well, that was like Germany.

SPEAKER_01 52:51

These are everywhere. That was like Germany.

SPEAKER_03 52:53

Well, yeah. I mean, they have I'm sure bars in Germany have that rather than people pissing outside.

SPEAKER_01 52:58

There was one like that in Germany, and then there was another one. Were we in the United States?

unknown 53:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:05

Fuck, I don't remember.

SPEAKER_04 53:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:07

We might have been in the United States and I had one. I was like, I'm not being in here.

SPEAKER_03 53:10

I mean the military's getting better at it, but these are like you see how there's someone.

SPEAKER_01 53:14

Yeah, I'm not doing that, dude. I don't want to look at like your side cheek. Oh, too bad. You're in the fucking side. No, I quit. I'll go AWOL. You go fuck yourself.

SPEAKER_03 53:22

It's not this bad anymore. It used to be a lot worse.

SPEAKER_01 53:25

Yep. I'm like, nah, I'll just shit outside.

SPEAKER_03 53:27

It's either that or like a fucking port-a potty where the shit is at the brim of your fucking toilet seat.

SPEAKER_01 53:33

Not doing that. I won't pee in a fucking port-a-potty either. I mean if I have to, but very rare.

SPEAKER_03 53:39

I'd rather I and it's not even the peeing or being in there. It's touching, it's touching the for me, it's touching the door handle. I know that people don't wipe, right? And there's no hand sanitizer because it's a fucking port-a-potty.

SPEAKER_01 53:53

I use my baton for everything.

SPEAKER_03 53:54

No, like I'm just talking about like in general.

SPEAKER_01 53:56

I ain't going. It's crazy. I'm not going. Where were we in? I think. Yeah, this was in uh I think it was Yeah, we were in um Germany for the Oktoberfest. And I think Steph and the other females had to go pee, but there was like a hill where all the chicks peed. Yeah. Something like that. Not even. There was like a I think there was like a curtain or something, but they all peed on his hill. I'm like, yeah, that's fucking nasty. Something. I gotta ask her. It was still. No, chicks are fucking nasty. If you think about it. That's nasty.

SPEAKER_03 54:39

Splatters over there. None of them fucking carry wipes.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

No.

SPEAKER_03 54:42

You ever okay? You ever go to a club, right? And chicks are peeing outside, they pull down their pants, they pee, and they pull them back up.

SPEAKER_01 54:48

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 54:48

That's it.

SPEAKER_01 54:49

Yeah, but you nasty. If he's hot enough, you're still fucking.

SPEAKER_03 54:55

You do that, but you wipe your tip when you fucking pee, fag.

SPEAKER_01 54:58

Yeah, I do wipe my tip. Because then it feels funny. I don't feel fresh.

SPEAKER_03 55:03

That's nasty, dude.

SPEAKER_01 55:05

Put your fucking.

SPEAKER_03 55:09

After the club, after dancing?

SPEAKER_01 55:11

Sweaty with piss.

SPEAKER_03 55:13

Piss, dude.

SPEAKER_01 55:14

Pissy sweat underwear.

SPEAKER_03 55:15

Like, I'll take the dancing. It's hot enough. Like if she's fucking that's true.

SPEAKER_01 55:18

It's hot enough.

SPEAKER_03 55:19

If she's hot enough, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 55:20

Like I don't think I'm I won't get this chance ever in my life. Yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_03 55:24

A couple drinks, yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_01 55:26

Carry your own wipes. Carry dude wipes and fucking. That's true. Or you put like as you're moving.

SPEAKER_03 55:32

But if you're in the car, you know, you know, you remember, we were younger, right?

SPEAKER_01 55:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:37

It doesn't matter what the fuck she had. You know, you got you left.

SPEAKER_01 55:40

She could have a baby coming out of her vagina at that moment. And you're like, yeah, you push it back in. It ain't my baby. She yeah. It's like, it ain't mine. You got me pregnant. Bitch, you that shit was coming out. Right. That shit fucking. Fully developed. I was gonna say something that's gross. Oh, forget it. Don't say it. No. No. It was a good one, too. Say it. Hold on. I want to put your That was a good one.

SPEAKER_00 56:15

Yeah, that was a good one, right? That was a good one.

SPEAKER_02 56:17

So what I said was.

SPEAKER_03 56:22

Who's the best porn star in your mind ever?

SPEAKER_01 56:25

I like amateur porn. I'm not a big uh fake porn guy.

SPEAKER_03 56:30

So you don't have like a specific girl.

SPEAKER_01 56:32

Nope.

SPEAKER_03 56:33

I'm talking about like when you were when you were a fucking youngin'?

SPEAKER_01 56:37

Yeah. Let me see. I gotta go into porn. Like when you were, you know, 15, 16. We had videotapes. That's true. That's how my brother's stash. Let's see. Uh what would I put? 90s? Yeah, nineties. I would say nineties.

SPEAKER_03 56:51

Yeah. Dude, we're old enough that we watch porn on VCRs. Yeah. And and I guarantee you most of the people that are listening have don't even have a clue that there was porn in VCRs. Yeah. Or like that you had to go to the porn store.

SPEAKER_01 57:06

There's fucking just dudes there. Oh yeah. I saw my principal in one.

SPEAKER_03 57:12

Your principal?

SPEAKER_01 57:13

Somebody I know worked in a principle. Male principal or female principal? Somebody I knew or I know.

SPEAKER_03 57:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:22

Hold on. Worked in a uh store. Yeah. And one of his jobs was to clean that little room. Okay. Where people would go in and watch.

SPEAKER_03 57:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 57:35

So they're cleaning up uh Segma. Yes. So I we were gonna go out to a club and I was like uh I had to go pick him up. So I'm waiting inside while he's like counting the money. All of a sudden I look behind me and I hear somebody come out of one of those rooms, and it was a fucking principal. I fucking bolted to the side of the room. I was like, oh, that's Mr. So and so. Fucking dirty motherfucker. He probably he's probably dead. Oh, that dude's dead now. Yeah. See, I don't know. See, there's no I don't recognize any of these fucking people. They might have been 80s, because the tapes might have been old.

SPEAKER_03 58:12

Well you let me do 80s. That would have to be 80s for you. No, 80s is too too far.

SPEAKER_01 58:19

It's too far, but the tapes I had were old. They had push and everything. Yeah, I don't recognize any of these fucking people. No, I don't recognize them. I don't know. I don't have any uh I don't know. I'm not a professional porn guy. Well, like, you know. I don't know. I don't like the whole fucking casting and everything's fake and like, oh yeah, dude, dude.

SPEAKER_04 58:56

Sorry, step bro.

SPEAKER_03 58:57

But yeah, I'm like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 58:59

I'm like, oh damn, that bitch is hot. Hi, stepbrother. I'm like, ah, really. I'm done. We're out of here. That's fucking gross. It's only a stepbrother, somebody told me. I'm like, nah, that's the fucking point is like borderline incest. I don't want to see that shit. Right. That's gross.

SPEAKER_03 59:15

Well, the point is Or step. Yeah. That's even fucking worse, dude.

SPEAKER_01 59:19

I would never I That's instant fucking boner loss.

SPEAKER_03 59:25

Yes. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:26

A thousand people. Yeah, we're done. Or if the dude is getting through, it's like, oh yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:31

Shut the fuck up. You'll be into it, and uh they'll fucking zoom into the girl and she's getting fucking blasted. And then for whatever fucking reason, the director, whatever the fuck you want to call this guy, pans up and it's the dude's asshole. Fucking hairy. I'm like, fuck. Here's my there goes my boner.

SPEAKER_01 59:52

Well, gone. There's been a couple times I'm like, damn, I should shave my asshole too. I should shave my shit. I I saw a porn and I was like, I'm gonna shave my asshole. It's too itchy, dude. I can't. I did it, and it's not itchy, it just feels like it sticks together. The skin.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:06

In in the beginning, but then like two, three days later, you're like, oh that's done. My asshole itches.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:11

Little fucking spider tentacles come out and it's fucking all in your asshole.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:16

Yeah. I don't know. Uh I used to shave like nose down every day.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:21

I used to shave until I learned speed up. Until one time my clippers stung, I was like, what the fuck did these things smell? Oh, my balls. Yep. My penis was smelly. Because you're not gonna take a shower and then shave it. Right. You're just gonna fight the shower. Go for a run. Like, you know what? Let me shave my balls. Yeah. And then you're like, Yep. Oh no, it's I don't think I've ever smelled my clippers, but no, because I go like this. I do my mustache.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:51

That's crazy. Yeah, straight to lip. I would never.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:53

And I don't do it anymore because it's like I have specific clippers for that. I'm like, Steph, smell my lip real quick. What does it smell like? I don't smell anything. Ah, it smells like like when we go see a dead body, you get that scent. It's almost like it's still there. It smells like that. The scent is still there. And it's like uh, let's say I was eating a hamburger and you get like a whiff of asshole, and like, ah, it's still I gotta shave the shit off. Yep. That's nasty. It's in great.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:17

Dead bodies do have a specific smell. Oh, yeah, like anything. My sister was asking me about it because she wants to be like um the OCME. She's like into that. She was like, oh, what is it about? Not what is it smell? She was asking, like, how is it? And I'm like, gross.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:35

Yeah, it's gross. Fucking nasty. Especially when you're doing that shit, they see everything. And there's only one fucking Emmy in Connecticut. If somebody gets hit by a fucking train, that motherfucker's in a bag. Like in pizza.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:48

So she wants to get like her doctorate in that.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:51

Do it. If you can deal with that shit, I can't deal with it.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:53

Yeah, I told her. I was trying to explain it to her. I was like, you it's different. Well, you're it's it's it's cool. You think it's cool. It's like uh it's like NASCAR. Like you think that driving 200 miles an hour is cool. Until you're doing it for four fucking hours and you're like, I'm over this. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yep. It's it's it's very similar to that.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:12

Like where you're just like the first time you're like, oh, that's awesome. That's body. These fucking mouse traps everywhere, and I'll look up there. And now they stink? Nothing yet. But see the doo-doo? Yeah. And this doo-doo there. Alright, look at that thing. Yeah. The fucking pest master. Doesn't fucking work for shit, you fucking cocksucker. What is it? I'm gonna give him bad reading. Pest reject! Go fuck yourself. You jerk off. Fucking. But I'm gonna smell these motherfuckers and they're gonna die. I think I know where he's gone. They're gonna be in the walls. I think I know where he's gone. Okay. So see how I have the rag on the turntable? Yeah. Because I was getting sawdust.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:54

Oh, from the hole from that wire.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:56

Right there. See the wire? Yeah. Right there. I found it. Yep. So I got that uh I ordered the I ordered that shit that they eat. And when they eat it, they get really thirsty, so they go outside. Or they just die in your fucking wall and your house stinks. Yeah. So I ordered that, I gotta throw it up there.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:16

You know, one of the things of owning a house is mice. It's fucking mice, dude. They're everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:22

Especially where you are, dude. You're in the woods. Yes. Everywhere. You definitely get them.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:26

That and the fucking like uh the whatever the fuck they are there outside, the little fucking moles. Chipmunks? Oh moles, yeah. That or chipmunks.

unknown 1:03:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:37

Pain in my dick, dude. Yeah. I don't mind chipmunks, they don't really come inside.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:40

No, but there's fucking holes all over my yard. Yeah. From the fucking moles or whatever the fuck it is.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:45

Yep, you get those. Snakes. But if I put traps everywhere. Everywhere. So there's traps underneath there. And then I check them all the time. Yeah. And then that's I gotta vacuum that. I don't know what that shit is. Probably.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:59

My girl goes, Ah, there's fucking two rats on the thing. And I'm like, oh fuck. And you forget about it for two days and it starts thinking. You're like, fuck, I gotta take that shit out.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:06

Tell your or you say your sister?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:09

Smell one of those.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:10

So But it's not even gonna be the same smell.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:12

But that's yeah, it's a it's the same smell, just not as uh potent. It's the same smell.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:19

You think so?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:20

Death is the same smell. Yeah, it's it's the same the decomposition, same shit. I smell the same smell. You could be different, but yeah, tell her it's similar if not identical. Depends on what you're smelling, but extremely similar to like if you see a dead mouse. That is a good idea. Just fucking kill the mouse.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:40

If it catches if it falls in there, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:43

You know, don't sue us. Yeah, we're not gonna kill the animal just to expand.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:47

If I have a rat in my fucking house, right, and leave it there. Or I'll put it outside.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:51

No, you'd have to keep it like in your garage or something. Yeah. Or shed. Shed. Yeah. So put a trap in there. Yep. If it because you gotta keep a trap in there anyway. And when you catch one, just let it sit there for a few years. For like a week.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:04

Yeah, a few days.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:07

Or just go inside the shed and you'll smell it. Yeah. Or we're gonna smell it here soon.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:12

Because they're gonna die somewhere in the fucking thing. I would tell you when I fucking so it was summertime, but you had a nice breeze. So I opened up my window over there. The only window. Yeah. So then I uh this would have been perfect for her. So then I uh I left it open all day. It was beautiful, wind blowing everywhere. I opened up all the windows. It was like an 80-degree day, but you had a nice breeze. Beautiful. No AC. Come downstairs, it smells like fucking death. Like really bad. I'm like, what the fuck is it? Um I'm yeah, dude, I'm telling you. So I I'm checking. I don't know if it's Chunk or Shrek, my other dog. So either way, it was one of the dogs. I'm like, let's find this thing. Search. And he's like Dog Whisperer. He's like He's smelling around, but he doesn't he doesn't know what the fuck is going on. So I'm looking underneath the couches. I'm looking behind the bar. I'm looking fucking everywhere. I moved the refrigerator around like this is bad. So I'm like, let me open up this window more. I look out and a fucking rabbit. Yep. So it's you know how it's got that well, how they have the wells for the basement window? Yep. It fucking got trapped down there and died. A rabbit got in there. Fucking stupid fuck. Yeah, and that fucking thing was decomposing.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:28

Now you gotta pick it up. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:32

I bet it called somebody. Hell no, dude. Nah, I went in there, I put my fucking welding gloves on, fucking grabbed it, and fucking flung it in the woods. So that's why if you look out that window, I'll show you. Yeah. I have a stain? No, I have a uh a big log. A log and a ladder. Like I had a ladder, like I bought one of those fucking hamster ladders.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:51

To let it climb back out.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:52

Yep, I have a log there so it could hopefully grab onto there and get the fuck out. Frogs die in there. No shit. But I put the I haven't seen any more frogs once I put that log in there.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:03

They sell for that.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:04

I do, but I want the win I want the uh ventilation when I like in the summertime. Well, I take it off and I have it in the garage now. Oh, okay. I didn't put it on this winter and then we had that storm and it I look out the window and it's all full of snow. They're fucked. Yeah. It's like shit. But uh yeah, once I I don't have any dead frogs in there now. Cause they climb up the fucking.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:25

I need a big animal so she can fucking really get the full effect, you know? Like a rabbit.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:31

A mouse would do it though.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:32

I don't I don't think so. Because a mouse you'd be like, all right, it's not that bad. Like I'll just throw it out. If I can't if it's a like a rabbit, dude, I'd be like, oh, I don't want to fucking like I don't mind it, right? I don't mind touching dead bodies or whatever. But I think now I'm at the point where I'm I'm good, but like in the beginning it was fucking bad.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:53

Yeah. Um let's see. A mouse will work though. If you catch one, let it sit and you'll get that smell.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:02

Because I could smell it in the garage when I catch one. I'm like, ah, something's dead in this motherfucker. Even instead of like, oh, something's dead. And then we were here the other night, and she's like, I think something died in the wall. It probably did. It'll go away. Smell will go away. It's not gonna stay forever.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:16

But yeah, I catch those motherfuckers all the time. All the time.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:20

I had one that went into my fucking wall, and I couldn't stop hearing this motherfucker doing something in there. It was like knocking, dude. Like Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:29

And I'm like, 2000.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:31

Three in the fucking morning. I'm like, what the f shut the fuck up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:36

Fucking dude would be dead. Um yeah, you can't there's there's nothing you can do about it. You just gotta fucking stay on top of it so that they don't uh multiply too much. Yeah. If you stay on top of it, just keep putting traps out, yeah. You're okay. I got traps there, there, in the other room.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:56

I didn't I I didn't want to get like the pellets. No, I don't do that because then they're going to die in your fucking walls. That's a bad thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:03

That's why I got these traps. So sometimes what I'll do is the blue ones. The old school ones. Yeah. I think I don't like that. I feel bad for those. I'd rather just kill them quick. I feel bad about those. Yeah. But uh sometimes I'll take it and just put it in the garbage upstairs in the kitchen. So then when she opens up and what the fuck is this? Yeah. Oh, hey, can you hold this real quick? Yeah. Dude, is it me or or I don't know, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:29

I think women need to fucking retake their driving test like twice a year.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:34

Terrible.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:34

Terrible. Every single time something happens in the highway or I'm driving home, every single okay. Nine out of ten times, it's a woman. That other one, it's it's uh it's uh an old guy. Yeah. I mean, you get the usual like ghetto fucking gunships, you know, the Nissan, you know, black fouls flying down the highway, which whatever.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:00

Or they're like they were either going super fast or they're driving super slow. Because they know.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:06

When they're driving super slow, they got shit in there. Yes. But get in the fucking middle lane.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:10

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:11

Yep. There was a fucking uh a Subaru driving the same speed as the middle lane.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:18

In the left lane.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:20

In the left lane. Yes. This was approximately three hours ago on a certain highway. And I look, it's a big fat fucking asshole. Bitch. Yes. I'm like every time. I say, you know what? That's why you're fucking moving slow, because you're fat. You don't care about yourself, so you don't care about anybody else. You fucking asshole. I get all crazy.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:39

Yeah. It drives me nuts. Yep. It is my number one pet peeve.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:43

Yeah, I can't stand that. Can't stand it.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:45

I had, I guarantee you, I almost got hit three times today coming here. Because I don't fucking pay attention. All women. Yeah. Yeah. And then I got yelled at. Obviously, I didn't scream back or anything because she's in front of me at this point.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:00

But I'm on the left lane, I'm on the rightmost lane. Right? Because I'm fucking going to an exit.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:08

And before the exit, there's an exit ramp onto the highway. Yeah. Entry ramp. Right. So the lady was speeding up to pass me, even though I'm like four, like ten feet from the car in front of me. Like I can't go any faster. I'm going to rear-end this guy. That was me this morning. Yeah. Same shit. She tried to fuck, she cut me off, and she started getting pissed at me. Like it's my problem.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:35

Yeah. I was maybe a car and a half or whatever, two car lengths away from this car. Yeah. Which on the highway is that's still pretty close, you know. And this bitch is the same fucking thing. Went around.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:46

It's probably the same bitch.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:48

Yeah. Went fucking around me. There was a car in the middle lane. Yeah. She went around that one, sped up, cut in front of me. I'm like, you did all that shit. And then when we got onto a certain connector area, I ended up passing her anyway.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:01

I'm like, it happens every time.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:02

But I don't give him the finger because I'm like, hey, if you want to pass me and do that, do it.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:05

I I wish I gave him the finger. I have blacked out windows and it wouldn't matter anyways. I need the satisfaction of sticking out my finger, you know, out the window, but I don't do that. And then your hand blows back.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:17

Like an idiot.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:18

It's like cold. The um what I can't stand is if you're driving slow in the left lane. Yes. I'm not flashing you with the lights. I'm not riding your ass. I just yeah, I just go into the middle lane. I don't give you a thing. I don't do it. I pay you no mind. And then you speed up. Yes. So now I gotta fucking go right just to pass all this fucking gas.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:45

It's fucking like $10 a gallon now.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:47

Then I have to merge in front of you, not cut you off because then you're my truck is pretty quick. So I'm able to merge in front, and then you say you fucking you give up, and now you're like 15 car lengths behind me.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:58

Yes. All that for what?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:00

I don't understand. There's been a couple times I slowed down and said, you know what? I'm going behind you with my bread lights. I'm done. I can't take it anymore. I don't care. Yeah. You're gonna get bright lights. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:10

I don't do that. Because then uh with my fucking luck, they react somebody, and then I hit them and they're like, Well, this fucking guy's you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:21

But I I'm an asshole to a point. I'll scream at you if I'm in person.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:24

I'll do that. You know. But I won't make it dangerous. No. Yeah, fuck it. No. Bright lights, I'll give you bright lights. Yeah. I'll scream inside the car.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:31

Oh, I swear. Fucking stupid son of a bitch. You fucking got shacking. And at this point, I'm I'm with my girl, I would say 99% of the time. Yeah. So every time something happens, I just look at her and she was like, well, I can't say anything. Like it's always a woman, a woman.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:51

Is she uh is she a calm driver?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:54

Very calm.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:55

That's how Steph is.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:56

And she hates women drivers too.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:58

That's how Steph is. Yeah. She's very calm. Yep. She somebody could be in front of her in the fast lane doing 40, and she's just like la la la. I'm like, this doesn't bother you? Yes. This doesn't, this is fucking getting pull over. I got that.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:11

I say the same thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:12

Yeah, I gotta fucking, I can't do this. Or if she's if Steph's at the light and we can make a right, and she's just sitting there. Yes. I'm like, what are you doing? Yes. You gotta go. Right. I said, hurry up before the these other cars. No, no, no, we're behind four fucking cars. We would have fucking been there, but now everybody's slow.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:29

That or she'll uh we'll be turning left onto where we live, right? And there's oncoming cars, and we can't turn left. But there's like a 10-second gap. Yes. And she was like, ah fuck, I should have gone. No shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:41

Yeah. Ten seconds is an eternity. Yes. You could get through that. Yes. Just hit the fucking car.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:45

But she sees the car, but she was like, I don't know how fast the car is going. Fucking go.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:49

I'm pretty sure her car has a turbo in it because I could hear it. Yes. So hit the fuck. It's a fast car. It's not like, you know. Yeah. But it's fast. You can make it. Yes.

unknown 1:14:59

Fucking shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:01

You want a car? You want a job? Drive next time. I don't want to drive. I drive for a living. I don't like driving. I'm at the point where I do not like driving.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:11

I'm like, now we can't even pull over because if we do, we're wasting time. Yes. So no, I'm not. You just have to do better as a driver. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:19

I I don't like driving. Are you at the have you ever been at that point?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:22

Where?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:23

Just like you don't like driving? Yeah. I'm like, you're driving. I gotta drive. Not not not like you're on a trip and you're like, all right, you drive now. I'm talking about like in general. Are you like driving?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:34

If we uh let's say I come home from work, I'm like, I'm not driving, you're driving. Yeah. I'm done with sitting behind that fucking. I'm in the same way. I'm like, you're driving. I gotta drive. Or should be in the passenger seat. Sure. Because 90% I drive. Right. So should we be in the passenger seat? I'm like, uh-uh. One time she's in the passenger seat, I'm like, I'm gonna sit in the back. No. Who's driving? So I ain't doing it. Yeah. Nope. I'm sitting in the back seat and wait. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:01

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:03

I drive there, head back.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:05

Yeah, we're going fucking two minutes away. Right. Well, if you drive then, I can't.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:09

My feet hurt.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:10

Because I'm gonna drink many beverages and I won't be able to drive.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:13

Right. That's not fair.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:15

I want to drink too. Well, whooper. Right. Nah, forget it. Well, then you don't want to drink, do you? I do. That's why I said I am not gonna drive.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:24

She's at the point now where she's like, uh let's start drinking again. Oh shit. Yeah. But she can't, because you know, breastfeeding and all that. Yeah, she can't. She has to wait like fucking ten hours in between or some shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:37

So I think you might as well just wait a few months, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:40

Yeah, at this point. That's it. She's like a cow now. So not wait-wise. Like she's pumping out milk like fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:48

So every leak.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:52

Sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:54

You see it.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:55

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:57

Have you ever seen it?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:58

Yes, of course. I mean, tripping out? Yes. All the time. That's nasty. Like if we shower together, it's fucking just like coming out. I would throw it out. It's not like a lie. It's like a drop comes out.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:09

So let's say I was single, right? Yeah. And there was a girl who just gave birth. You like it? You'll like it. Nope. Yes. Nope. And let's say she just gave, you know? A couple months before. And I meet her at the fucking club. Yeah. And now we're going to get naked in the shower.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:25

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:25

And I see that shit leaking.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:27

It's just like a drop comes out. Like sweat.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:29

Out. I'm out. Yeah, I can't deal with this shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:33

I mean, there's times where it's like a lot when she needs to pump or she needs to feed, and it's like dumping a cup of water.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:41

I don't want to see lactation. Why? It's nasty. I don't want to see lactation. I don't want to see urination. I think that ends with an Asian. I don't want to see if I can see it. I don't want to see any of your Asians. No urination. No ejaculation. Are you fucking uh No uh lactation?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:01

Yeah, are you just uh like afraid of it or not scared of it?

SPEAKER_01 1:18:06

I don't like it. So what's the fucking issue? It's gross. I don't like it. Like spit. I don't like people spitting.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:12

Yeah, but when you guess digatron, they're spit.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:16

No, I mean like spit.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:18

Oh, somebody going fucking hacking a loogie.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:20

To me, that's the same. Like pissing. I can't watch, I can't watch a girl pee. No way. Really? Yep. Fucking gross.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:27

But you eat her out right after the club.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:30

We're at a club, yeah. We're in Vegas. Yeah. I'm hammered anyway. I can't say shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:35

That's true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:36

It's weird. It's like a fucking, like uh, what would you fucking call it? It's like a curtain of fucking pee.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:43

Dude, the piss. Like It's weird.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:47

It's like it goes everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:48

If we're in the hot tub, she doesn't want to walk in. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:51

You let her pee on her.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:52

No! You're peeing in a hot tub. She'll run out. You'll never know. Into the like grassy wooded area and pee in the dark. And get back in. Like in the dark. Yeah. And then a couple times I looked over, like let's say the light went up, I was like, uh-uh. Uh-uh. And plus you gotta fucking clean the side of your leg, dude. You know that's spattered. Nope. No fucking way. Go inside. Really? Oh yeah. Nope. I guess. It's fucking gross the way it comes out, too. It's like.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:21

It's funny. It's not. I don't like it. I don't think it's like disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:25

If I see a chick piss, I'm like, yeah, I'm out.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:27

Yeah, but when she's lactating, it's not coming out like piss. Even a dribble. It's like it's like when somebody's sweating. Like you see, you know how you see like drops on their forehead like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:37

No, I'm not doing it.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:39

But they're just like like fucking like light yellow.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:43

Oh, that's even fucking nastier. That's fuck. Oh, no funny.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:47

It's like the color of your wall. Like that wall.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:49

I'm colorblind. Oh, that? Like. It's like a fucking watered down milk. Yeah, it's watered down milk. It's not as white as milk. With body fluids in it.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:02

You gotta shake it all the time if it's in a bottle. Nah, that's it. Like separates.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:08

That's fucking gross. Separates. Fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:12

So if Digatron was pregnant, right, and she gave birth and now she's lactating, right? You wouldn't fuck her? Because it's gonna come out if she's riding you.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:18

I'll just wear a shirt. It goes through the shirt. I ain't gonna go. I'll put big hoodie. I guarantee you. Big hoodie. Big hoodie. It ain't going through. Trust me. I'll just get one of those fucking I get it. Dude, she could wear a rain jacket. It ain't gonna go through. I don't even see him shit. Shut the fuck up. You'll wear a windbreaker with a fucking hoodie. So you know how you said the bead of sweat on your forehead. Yeah. So saying forehead reminded me of something my must do said. She said. So she took her gummies. Yeah. Because she takes them at night because of arthritis. Okay. So she got the medical card and all the shit, and she does the gummies. Oh, like the It's like medical gummies, like weed weed gummies. So I think she took a little bit too much.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:58

Your mom is high.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:59

Yeah. So we were talking about uh when I was I wish I was at that age, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:06

No. Just take the gummies and just fucking relax and fucking. No. No? Too old. But anyway, so she's like retirement age. Like nobody gives a fuck. You're not gonna get drug tested.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:17

You know what I mean? So if you um so she's talking about when I was born and then how I almost died when I was little, and then I had to have an IV in my forehead and then wherever they put the IVs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then I was all better now, and I'm able to leave. So she says I looked ugly, so she put a fucking blanket over the thing so nobody would see my face. Fucked up. That's fucked up, dude. Fucked up. That's fucked up.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:47

Yeah, yeah, Mom. Dude, I jumped when I was a little kid, I was probably like my son's age, and I jumped off a fucking couch onto a glass table, and the table shattered.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:01

Holy shit. Yep. Jesus. Mm-hmm. Um, and then she said she thought I was gay growing up.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:09

My mom said the same thing. Yeah. I think that's I think my all moms do that. Because she goes, You little fag. She goes, All like 90 moms.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:17

Yeah, she goes, Well, the gay thing started coming out. So they start, I guess back then they're like, oh, Metro Careful. Oh, he's gay. Yeah, but even then they were like, Oh, you gotta be careful because you can catch it. You know how it's like, they don't know what it is. Right. So, oh, you know, everybody started being gay, so we got scared, and I kept watching you and your brother, and then you guys would do weird things like do gay things.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:42

You're just playing around, and she's like, This fucking little fella.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:44

Yeah, he's gay. He might be gay. Yeah. I was like, so you thought I was gay and I was ugly. Yeah. What do you want me to tell you? Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:52

I think we have the same mom for a while.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:53

She goes, she goes, There's nothing wrong with it. There really isn't, I swear to God. Yeah. I was like, that's fine. But I just thought you were gonna be gay. Right. So I was dealing with comparing to Yeah, I was preparing, like, he's gonna tell me he's gay, and that's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't care. That's funny. I was like, yeah, good. Good. I'm not gay.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:11

Dude, my mom has all these stories, like she said, you know, because I'm from New York, and we would be going down the subway, or we'd be going up the subway, like on the stairs. And uh I had she she said that because of how I used to just run around and how New York is, that I had like this little like backpack with a leash, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, one of those. Yeah. And uh at one point in time when I was really that passed my gen.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:38

I was like, that was new to me.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:39

And uh that she looked back and I was like choking out.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:46

Like a little kid.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:47

Do you remember do you remember pound puppies? Sounds familiar. They were little dog things. And I remember I was fucking around with the collar, and then I was fucking around putting it around my neck and then locked up.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:59

I was like, choking out.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:02

I was like passing out, and my mom had to take it off with a knife, a butter knife. She goes, Oh my god! Rubbing! I had the palm puppy collar around my neck, almost died. I couldn't get it off.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:12

I was like, ah jogging, I'm joking, dude. Mommy, mommy! I fucking you know, I think kids nowadays need to be like let loose, like go do stuff so they can learn. Get hurt. Because I I dude, I remember I I didn't know what like I knew what a shaver was, like a fucking like a razor blade. Yeah, but I didn't think it worked as good as they do. And I'm pretty sure I shaved the my fingertip. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:39

Yeah. When I was a little kid. I've caught myself doing that. You slide it across to see what it would do. I shaved my fucking eyebrow once. Dude, I did my like all off. Oh. Dude. Uh-uh. What did I used to do? I don't know. Yeah, you gotta get hurt and you gotta get bullied.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:57

I fucking uh yeah, yeah, you do. I fucking uh this you know the old cigarette uh lighter in the cars.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:05

Oh, I put my finger on a motherfucker all the time. What's surprised that fingerprints? Yeah, same. My thumb gone. Yep. Yep, I did that all the time. Oh, it's not can't be that hot. Yep. Fucking hot. Yep. Bring that shit back.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:16

Electrical outlets. I'm pretty sure I put something in it because I remember getting fucking shocked. And I was like, I don't ever want to do that shit again.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:24

I put scissors. But I did it quick enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:30

No, mine I got stuck, dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:31

I got started crying. And my dad's like, what the fuck I got on? This is a bird mark.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:43

I get hit. Don't you do that shit again?

unknown 1:25:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:46

I called 911 uh and my grandmother who didn't know a lick of English. I 911, hang up. Guy calls.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:58

Oh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:01

I don't know. And all I hear, and I remember like it, like it was yesterday, because I was I was probably like 10, so I can definitely remember. It was like, don't fucking call back here, and fucking the hang up.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:13

Yeah. Nothing gonna show up. Did they show up? They never showed up.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:16

No, not back that.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:18

Fuck it. We ain't going on that.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:19

Yeah, no. Yeah. So I'm sure it was like either like a sergeant on the desk that was like, Stop fucking calling here. Oh, they said it. Yes. Holy shit. Yes. The police department was like, don't fucking call back here and hung up. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:33

Grandmother said it. No.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:35

Oh shit. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to think what else. Yeah. Nothing. I did a lot of stupid shit. Yeah. I think kids need to get bullied so they could fucking that too. So they could uh learn how to handle it. You don't know if you could you don't know your status until somebody tries to bully you. Yes. Then you know, alright, I'm not gonna take no shit. You don't know your personality yet. Yes. Until you're fucking bullied quick. So then if they try to bully you, and you stand up for your you're either gonna stand up for yourself or you're not. And I think you either have it bullying is wrong.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:17

Yeah, but I'm saying you need to be But you need there needs to be some teasing by other kids. Yeah, we'll say light bullying.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:24

Yes. Somebody needs to test you. Yes. So we'll say like that. You need to be tested by a bully.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:30

Just like in the military, hazing should be a thing. Because it yeah, now you're at the next step. Let's see. So bullying is if you're gonna get and this is like certain professions in the military. Like if you're IT guy, nah, whatever. But if you're going into combat where you're going to get shot at, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:27:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:47

I think a little hazing or a little bullying is forms a bond.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:51

Yes. I'm not saying fucking stick a plunger in somebody's asshole. Right. But I don't know, fucking light hazing.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:57

Shave his head. You know.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:58

He's sleeping, holding down. Shave your eyebrow, one eyebrow. Yeah, you cover them in like fucking the shaving cream. And then you know what's gonna happen? You guys are sitting in fucking Iraq and be like, oh, you remember last year you shave my eyebrow, you dick.

unknown 1:28:09

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:09

Don't go to sleep, bitch. But it forms a brotherhood, a bond, camaraderie. Yeah. Maybe you do that to me, motherfucker. Yep. Don't sleep, bitch. Don't sleep. Yeah. I'm a bigger motherfucker. You didn't grow in the last couple years. I did. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, fuck, this motherfucker is working out. Yep. I was bigger than he was when he started. Yeah. But you need that. So you see, it's either you're born with defending yourself or you're not. But you could always learn how to defend yourself, or you talk to, you know, you could say uh a bigger brother, or you do some kind of martial arts or something, then you build your confidence.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:44

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:44

But something has to show you, do I need to build my confidence or do I have it already?

SPEAKER_00 1:28:48

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:48

And that was it. My brother said if anybody messes with you since you're young, you have to fight them right away. Because we're Italian and we don't grow that tall. Right. So then if you don't fucking show them you're crazy, they're gonna fuck with you your whole life because we're short little people.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:05

Spanish people are the same.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:07

Same shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:08

But I I don't see any truth. Well, there is some truth in that, but I think people think Italians are crazy anyway. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:29:17

Yeah. Well, I mean, there's a saying that, you know, Spanish women will fucking stab you. So you know, there's there's definitely the I wouldn't I wouldn't date a Spanish shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:28

No. You're out of your mind. I am. Well, you are. She's giving you a few looks. Oh my god. But I'm thinking it's because she's pregnant and shit. Yeah. Um Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:41

So well it's it's weird how the how like the hazing and the bullying and all that is like you go to like a college, you're like, we don't fucking do that here. But if you go to like a military installation or like a police department, in the beginning, right, when you're like in the academy or whatever, or you're in training, there's always that like hazing. Like there's not you would think that being in the government that puts out like hazing is illegal, you know, like don't fucking do XYZ. They're the first ones to do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:16

Yeah. It's crazy. Same thing with uh local government and everything. You'll find, yeah, they haze each other, but it's not like nothing physical.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:24

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:25

I never got bullied or anything. I was just trying to think. Never. Or hazed. One of them, I only I got slapped in the face one time. Really? And then, yeah, when I was little, I was in junior high school, and then I was late coming home. So my brother goes, hey, is when we first moved from New York. Yeah. Where were you? Supposed to be home a half hour ago. I slapped in the face. What? He fucking takes a Louisville slugger bat. I remember it was black, and I hear him hammering. Yeah. He fucking put nails in that motherfucker. And he throws it in the back of his fucking Camaro. Yeah. He had a Camaro and armor all wheels and everything with his fucking Italian mullet. He's like, we're gonna find this guy sucker. You tell me who he is. Yeah. And we were looking for him all over the place, right? So then I remember their football practice got out, and they were all it was like nighttime. So we went up to the high school. He pulls up in his Camaro. Hey, who's the ass so slap my fucking brother? And you know, like all the football popular kids are coming out, and they're you know, they're all like tough matches. Yeah, dude, they fucking melted like a motherfucker. They fucking said, uh, I ain't fucking with this motherfucker. He said, I tell you something now, you motherfucker. I catch you, I'm gonna fucking beat the shit out of you. I'm gonna find you, you fuck. You better tell them. Get in the car. So I got in the car and we look. Oh yeah. That's awesome. He ended up finding a motherfucker. Yeah. Oh yeah, he found him. Oh yeah. Caught his ass. Because here's the problem, too, with that.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:00

How does that look with him? Right, because now he has to be a good one. So now he keep his word. Well, here's the problem. So if he doesn't defend, then they're gonna say he's a bitch. Like somebody hit your brother and you didn't do anything. You're a pussy. You're a bitch. Yeah. And then if dad finds out then we're in he's in deep shit. But he didn't do it because he was scared of what people would think. He did it because my older brother is gonna fuck you up.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:27

Yeah. You know what I mean? I think I got more shit when I lived in Puerto Rico than I did here ever.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:37

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, more macho shit. Yeah. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:32:41

It didn't help that I was in like like uh the pal version of like here. And you know, when you were in like the pal, which is like you're like a make-believe cop pretty much. Like same shit here. Uh you would like roam, like you'd be out in the village and shit? No, like in the hallway, like in school. This is in school. Oh, oh, yes, you're fine. And it was like you're a fuck you, you're partying. Yeah, because now they see you as like a snitch. Yes. You're a nerd, yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:15

Yep. Yep. They don't I don't think they had that shit in my school. I was a hall monitor.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:19

Pretty much a hall monitor.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:20

Stop running! Yeah, slapped to the head.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:23

I'll fuck you up.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:24

I think I got through a few fights.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:25

Yeah, I did too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:26

Tell them to stop, they didn't stop, start fighting.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:29

I tell you, stop! Yeah, because it was like we would A little. We would like, so like the school had like a fence, like around like a gate, pretty much. Um like it had like little one main entrance that the kids would go in and out to go to like the little corner store that was across the street.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:45

And my job was to the time is like let's say 11:30, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:33:49

You're on perimeter patrol. Yeah, you're on perimeter patrol.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:51

You're not gonna let nobody could leave the school because they leave the school, they're you know, yeah they could get fucking kidnapped or whatever. That's what they told us. And uh, dude, 11, it's 11:30. The gates are locked, baby. It's my turn. Nobody's going out. And I got into a lot of fights. Yeah. Yeah. Because they wanted to go get back to a little fucking uh like icy or whatever the fuck.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:12

Yeah, no. Not on my happening. Ain't happening. I think we reached that time, Homeslice. That's a good one. Yeah. Did we get well you got into some of your stuff? I didn't get into mine. Mine was uh thing, you know. Shitty kid names, which would have been good because that would have been good. There's one that was serious, but I didn't feel like getting serious. PTSD with cops. Yeah. Sex when you're sick.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:39

That one's been on there for a while.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:41

Yeah, because I don't want to take it off because that's what you could use whenever. And then somebody asked me, I don't want to say this person's name, but like or the slaws, the Down syndrome of animals. Yes, you know what I mean? Yes. So all right, everybody. Alright, peace out. It's been real, peace out.