Not Surprised Podcast

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Frank Nasty

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     Your boy Frank Nasty is on a much needed vacation looking for places to live in Florida! Enjoy the replay of Show 83!


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SPEAKER_03

Alright everybody. I'm here with the fucking uh Charles Mikal. Yes. Okay. And uh I wanna call him.

SPEAKER_04

No, what's my name?

SPEAKER_03

I wanna call you uh BJ. Where did I say? If that's what you want, uh but anyway, this is right now to listen to uh BJJ. We could we could cut that out. And uh prior to turning now this is staying out. Fucking welcome to the territory, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_04

So what is his name? What do you say that's so tough? BJ. What'd you say? Well, look me in the eyes when you say that.

SPEAKER_03

Look him in the eye. Okay, so what you were saying was uh move to Alaska.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

And then I ignored you a lot. Yeah, yeah. And I started setting this up. And then I said, I heard you say, I will let my property value is gonna go up. Yes.

SPEAKER_04

It's not gonna go up anywhere else. You said we could buy a studio in the middle of a swamp and film and record podcasting for some reason. A swap in Alaska. That's what he said. It's called a skating rink.

SPEAKER_01

I said that for the same property value that we were talking about before off air, that you could get acres in Alaska compared to what you would get in the world.

SPEAKER_03

You could go to fucking Carolina and get acres. You could go to Texas and get acres.

SPEAKER_01

To where we are now? Hell no. Hell no, dude.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, you can. No, you cannot. What to Alaska? Nobody wants to live there.

SPEAKER_04

You can go to Georgia and get a lot more property for $7.50.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and be around. You want to live in Georgia? No. No, you want to be around fucking buffaloes and shit. Buffaloes over there? Well, whatever there's fuck them. Moose. Mooses. Moose. Moose and bears.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. That's more than one. Yeah, meese, bears. They got porcupies. See? If you're into that, I don't know what you're into. Fucking stupid.

SPEAKER_06

Move to Alaska because I love it.

SPEAKER_01

What are you gonna do there?

SPEAKER_05

Freeze to death.

SPEAKER_03

Freeze to death.

SPEAKER_01

I don't care. I'm freezing to death here. I gotta shovel snow here. What's the fucking thing?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, this dude does turn on the last time he turned the fucking heater on, right? And by the time we were done with the show, I was like, I couldn't think anymore. It was so hot in here. Yeah, I'm telling you, I was fucking dying.

SPEAKER_04

How are you gonna live like that?

SPEAKER_03

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_04

If we're podcasting then?

SPEAKER_03

No, no, no, that'll fucking never happen. Get that fucking shit out of your brain.

SPEAKER_04

Oh no, dude.

SPEAKER_01

We're podcasting over there.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. You're gonna go to Alaska just to podcast. And what are you gonna do when the podcast is over?

SPEAKER_01

I want to live there like long term.

SPEAKER_03

It's good to want things. Keeps you motivated. I want land. I want land.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, I told him I told him he could go by himself.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. 100%. That's fine.

SPEAKER_05

I thought I'd be waiting right here for you.

SPEAKER_01

She says she's waiting, yeah. She's waiting. So you can't talk to women about property value, first of all. Jesus. Second of all. This dude. We're talking about fucking cancel.

SPEAKER_02

Well, there goes the fucking sponsorships.

SPEAKER_03

We were gonna have fucking Spotify. Yeah, we were gonna have fucking the wings thing that you guys use when you get your period. Not gonna have that anymore.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_03

Thanks a lot.

SPEAKER_01

Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_03

Um we're talking about what I was gonna say with your stupid shit. Oh, just to let you know, never in a million years would this move to Alaska.

SPEAKER_01

Dude, I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_03

Key West, here we come. Like I said, for context, I just say no all the time.

SPEAKER_04

Spent a month there for context. Look, where? In Alaska. 20 acres. No, it was great, but like I was ready to go.

SPEAKER_01

20 acres in Alaska, 30k.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Yeah, is it check the details? It's probably on top of a swamp. You're gonna be there. You're gonna be in the you're gonna wake up in the middle of the fucking water, dude.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, no, dude.

SPEAKER_04

There's no the foundation is terrible over there.

SPEAKER_03

Do you think that if that fucking if that property was worth it, it would wouldn't be more than 30,000?

SPEAKER_01

No, because most people fucking think like Nobody knows about Alaska. No, they do. They just they just they're like you, where they're go, I don't want to be in the cold. There's nothing there. So for the Guess what? I think differently than the cold.

SPEAKER_03

I am the consumer. But what about a builder? Sure. A real estate dude, a developer. You think they don't have the vision of saying, listen, I don't have to live there, but I should build on that. Then they went over there and looked at it and they're like, fuck this shit. I can't build on this fucking shit.

SPEAKER_01

Not everybody wants to live in the cold. Not everybody wants to live in the cold.

SPEAKER_03

Not everybody wants to live in a fucking marsh either.

SPEAKER_04

Not everyone wants to live where it's fucking daylight 24 hours a day and then nighttime 24 hours a day. Yeah, that's dumb.

SPEAKER_03

You're getting shot down.

SPEAKER_04

Unless you're a vampire, you want to live in the fucking.

SPEAKER_01

I don't see it that way.

SPEAKER_03

That's your dreams.

SPEAKER_01

I don't see it. Yeah, pretty much. On your guys' end. Not me. Well, your family doesn't agree with you either. I've been saying it for years now.

SPEAKER_04

You're literally gonna go there alone. Damn, that sucks.

SPEAKER_01

If I gotta go there alone, I gotta go there alone. Yeah, he ain't going to be always always always ride or die Alaska.

SPEAKER_04

You should choose Alaska over his shit talking. Shit talking.

SPEAKER_03

I'm not a shit talker. Oh my I can't wait till he's proven wrong. Can't wait. Like, hey, remember when you said uh we're gonna move the show to Alaska? Guess what? It's going to Florida.

SPEAKER_01

When we make it big time, right? And I build a giant fucking log cabin in Alaska, and I have like a hundred acres, you're gonna be like, oh my, you remember when I told you to fuck yourself?

SPEAKER_03

First of all, I don't want a hundred acres. I'm not gonna do jumping jacks or fucking shit in the woods. I do. I'm not gonna do that. What are you gonna do? I don't care about your fucking logic.

SPEAKER_01

If I jerk off in a corner in Alaska, who gives a fucking big thing? I don't care about your log cabin.

SPEAKER_03

I'm gonna be on the beach or a beautiful beach house. Yep. I'm gonna be in that beach with the beach house. And then just before we start to do the show, I'm like, hey, I'm gonna be at the bar. I'm gonna ride my little scooter back to the thing, meet you at the house, we're gonna do the show. Yeah. I s I love my scooter. Leaders don't care.

SPEAKER_04

That's right. I don't.

SPEAKER_03

Leaders don't care what they say.

SPEAKER_04

Oh shit, you kind of flipped the script on me. I don't. Not really. What do you have to say about that? What do you think about it? He should be a leader. What's your name again? Stupid motherfuckers. Am I the snake? Yeah. Oh shit. But anyway.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. We got it. Anyway, so the leader. I want a leader around me. He's not my leader. Yeah. I'm your daddy. Oh shit. This guy gay. Super gay.

SPEAKER_04

It's not a big deal. Call him that.

SPEAKER_01

Fucking damn it.

SPEAKER_04

I didn't just say shit. I said call him that.

SPEAKER_01

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_04

You guys are setting me up.

SPEAKER_01

You're setting me up.

SPEAKER_04

Trying to get me. What did I say that? This guy.

SPEAKER_03

Anyway. Fuck! My papers are upstairs. Nah, that was too serious anyway. What I was just gonna talk about.

SPEAKER_04

Can I get something off my chest?

SPEAKER_03

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I do. I'm gonna hear it. I got catfish. Oh yeah! So you were saying. A couple days ago, yeah. So real quick, you were saying before you got catfished, we were talking about people using filters. Is this what happened to you?

SPEAKER_04

Have any of you ever been catfished before?

SPEAKER_03

I've been married for like 18,000 years and shit, yo. They ain't have catfishing back then, B. That wasn't a thing. Is there new technology? Yeah. Oh yeah. That's definitely a new thing. I mean, yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_01

So you're telling me that when you DJed at up at a bar, right? Or besides the makeup and shit, right? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You saw the makeup. That would be the closest thing to go. You go out the next thing, you're like, hey, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_03

You have an idea of what the fuck they look like. But that's a little different. That's a little different, though. That's like beer goggles, though.

SPEAKER_04

Beer goggles is different than catfish. Catfish is when you're like you're like talking to someone for a while. Yeah, or they don't even tell you their age at all. Yeah. They just take strategic pictures and what happened to you. Um damn.

SPEAKER_03

You don't have to mention any names.

SPEAKER_04

No, I won't. I won't. But uh yeah, no, I got catfish a couple days ago. Okay. Elaborate. I was talking to some uh the traveler, you know. Where were you? Were you in the States here? I was here in the States, yeah. Yep.

SPEAKER_01

Alaska?

SPEAKER_04

I was in Alaska. Okay, the We'll say I was in Alaska. Okay. That's another reason why not to fucking move there. Yes. He saw he saw Eskimo. Bears and meese. There's also catfish.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Yeah. So uh did you did you find this person on a website?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it was a dating website. We won't say it because we don't want to get free. Is it Rhyme with Finder?

SPEAKER_01

Eskimo Pussyfussy.com.

SPEAKER_04

Does it what's the other one?

SPEAKER_01

Eskimopussyfinder.com. Oh, nice. Yeah, that was that one. Escobel.

SPEAKER_04

So I meant so I met anyway. So you met her. So I met this this woman. Dude. Woman. Or whatever. Yeah, that's it doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. Tomato tomato. It was on um in Alaska, Eskimopussyfinder.com.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, good. So it was around here in the States.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah. Okay. So what happened? So we're uh we match, you know, and um I'm like, this person seems like what she look like. She's uh she's a white woman. She got a big booty. So looking back on it, I was like, I only saw face pics. Okay. Yeah. I should have known.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

That's red flag number one. Yeah, I fucked up. So what did her face look like? So describe it. I'm trying to get it. I would show you, but I already describe it. She was like, uh she looked slim, white, blue eyes, blonde hair. Yeah, like a pretty, no, not too much makeup. Yeah. Yeah. Just nice. But like uh Sabrina Carpenter looking, you know?

SPEAKER_01

That right there tells you that you're way out of your league, dud.

SPEAKER_04

But I thought I was that's why I was like, oh shit, what's going on here?

SPEAKER_01

Some fucking chick that sings or something. No, Sabrina Carpenter? Nah. I don't know who she is either, but I've seen her everywhere. But she's like the most famous singer. Is she? There's no way she's not.

SPEAKER_04

No, behind Taylor Swift, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So anyway, so you So bitches listen to her. You you you message her, and you guys are like, What are you trying to say?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

You listen to her music? A couple songs. Anyway, I dabble. I dabble. I'm not gonna commit and say I listen to her for a moment. You message her, right? Yeah, yeah. And then when you message her, message her, we're you say a few days go by. Okay. We're talking, everything seems great. We get to the point where I'm like, hey, you know, we should FaceTime. She's like, oh, I'm busy right now. Like, I'm I'm I'm moving around. Yeah, yeah. I can call you on the phone. Red flag number two. I was like, but I didn't know. I'm just like, oh, okay, yeah, I'll call you. We're talking. Yeah. My dog usually gets like a 20-minute walk. This day he got like an hour and a half walk. I'm just walking this, walking my dog, just talking to his girl on the phone.

SPEAKER_03

It's nice, you know, your conversation. It's beautiful. Yeah, it's old.

SPEAKER_04

I was like, I don't want the I don't want the conversation to end, you know? Yeah. My dog got the benefit out of it.

SPEAKER_01

Got me thinking of uh like middle school days. Yeah, you know, definitely getting hard. Anyway, so that might have it. Um yeah, so we end up what are you gonna do to this pussy later? I don't want this conversation to end.

SPEAKER_04

We guys talking nasty. No, we weren't not yet. It's been kind of weird because I'm just walking my dog. Well, yeah, but you can still have a phone. Yeah, but if I'm just walking around with a boner, just you know, just walking. I wouldn't be in this podcast right now, you know?

SPEAKER_03

So then uh you guys decide to meet.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I decided to meet with her. We were we're we were a little coffee date, you know, safe. Yeah. Coffee dates are safe. This is the one good decision I made in this like week, two week span was we just go do some coffee, you know?

SPEAKER_03

Okay, um, real quick, did she describe herself when you're on the phone? Like, I mean, I'm like fucking five foot six.

SPEAKER_04

But I did try the FaceTime her like two or three times and it was like excuses that went over my head. Yeah. Like I was like, oh, but I wasn't, you know, I wasn't picking it up at the time.

SPEAKER_03

So you go to the uh coffee shop.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I go to the coffee shop. The first thing is I see somebody I recognize and I'm like fuck. I just kind of hide my face because I'm like, you know? Because in the back of my head, I was like, I was a little skeptical. Yeah. Back in my head, yeah. Yeah. So I sit down, I get there, and then she's like, oh, I'm gonna be late, like 30 minutes. I'm like, well, what the fuck? Damn. She's watching you. Yeah, so we'll get to the the the worst part, but yeah. So I'm stuck Middle Eastern. I'm waiting 30 minutes, and then I'm sitting in the restaurant, and I see his timer, his timer on his vest was gonna go off. That would have been best case. I should have done that, honestly. That would have been a best sign. I would have at least got rid of that so she doesn't fucking have to fish anyone else. Fucking. So then she shows up. Right. So I'm sitting like the counter here, there's there's no exit. There's the entrance is the exit. Okay. Yep. So I'm like, I'm sitting here, I have four range. Yeah of the and I see someone that comes in. I see someone walk in, like, stand outside, and they're on their phone.

SPEAKER_02

Did you fall back?

SPEAKER_04

You know the Godzilla song? Yeah. I heard that playing somewhere in the background, but I wouldn't pick up on it. And I'm like, this person's on their phone, and I'm like, I'm texting someone right now. I'm waiting for a response. But there's this person who is looks similar to the person I saw in the pictures, uh-huh, but just like bigger. Just bigger and like how big? Like juicy big or big big? She was like like maybe like 150 pounds more than more? Probably like 200 something. Wow.

SPEAKER_00

On the outside of the fucking Damn.

SPEAKER_04

So I start to panic. Panic starts to set in. Because I'm like, I hope this isn't the person who I'm texting right now. They're texting someone. I'm texting someone. But she knows what you look like? She knows what I look like. Yeah, because I'm at I'm not the calf. I'm not as no. I think I have a beard in some pictures. Maybe she would Okay. Go ahead. Yeah, so she starts to walk in and then she looks up and she looks at me, and I'm like, Damn. It was too late at this point. Yeah, now you guys see me. She has eyes set on me. I'm just like.

SPEAKER_02

That's what you're worried about. Yes. Now you gotta spend money on this fat bitch.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, that's a lot of cash. But the closer she got, the worse she's getting of anti automatic. Because I didn't have my glasses on.

SPEAKER_01

Oh no.

SPEAKER_04

So I was like, my vision, I'm nearsighted.

SPEAKER_03

Why do you go out with no glasses? My wife does that shit.

SPEAKER_04

Well, I can see from close. But in this case, I should have, because I would have seen it from far away and I would have known to like run? Just run. Yeah, get the fuck out. So I'm out the fucking bathroom window.

SPEAKER_03

She comes up to you. What'd she say? Hi, I'm so-and-so.

SPEAKER_04

She said, hey, I was like.

SPEAKER_03

Anyway, go ahead. Yeah. Fuck.

SPEAKER_04

Hey BJ.

SPEAKER_03

Anyway, so she goes, hey, so-and-so.

SPEAKER_04

It's me. She's like, I was like, who's that?

SPEAKER_06

Who are you?

SPEAKER_04

I should have said that.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I should have said I should have said that. But I was like, yeah, that's me. And then sits down, and I'm just like, the whole time, I'm like, I don't even know what we were talking about. Let me get the fucking entire time.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but what do you say? So I'm just panicked. Did she only catfish her her body size or her face was the same?

SPEAKER_04

Everything. Like she had like it was like she wore like it was like a mask of makeup. Like it was just in the picture. No, in the picture is normal. In real life, it was just like not the same person. Not the same person at all. Is this like a sex website where you get like tender? Eskimo.

SPEAKER_01

Eskimo Pussy.com.

SPEAKER_03

Cream pie. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Eskimo cream pie is not shit. So was she expecting to hit it? I don't know. Did you hit it? I did not know whether it was. Why would the story end with that? Why would this end that way?

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so you so you talk to this person that you don't want to talk to. And she goes again with the echo. I don't know, Frank. I don't hear any extra. I do.

SPEAKER_03

Maybe it's your fucking brain.

SPEAKER_01

So you're telling this person, uh, yay, uh, who the fuck are you? You guys are talking or whatever.

SPEAKER_04

I'm talking about being nice. But I'm just trying to find an exit strategy the whole time. I'm trying to figure out how the fuck I can get out of this the entire time. I don't know what we're talking about, but I'm just being nice.

SPEAKER_01

So that's all you hear, what Frank just fucking playing?

SPEAKER_04

And I I I end up getting the coffee. I get the coffee. You said that? Oh no. No, in the back of my but I was like, I wanted to just walk out.

SPEAKER_03

Did she see the look of disgust in your face? You think?

SPEAKER_04

It was more obvious. I could I broke character after like as the minutes went by, the more she was like, Everything is everything okay? Like 20 minutes in, I was like, Yeah, everything.

SPEAKER_01

You're like sweating on your phone the entire time.

SPEAKER_04

I'm like checking my phone looking for an extra. I gotta use the bath. I used the bath like three times. I didn't have to use the bathroom. That was my my fucking stoon in my brain.

SPEAKER_01

The entire time in the back of your head.

SPEAKER_03

I was like, So I would have felt bad.

SPEAKER_01

So you got her. I would have hit it just because I felt bad. You know, you got coffee. Yeah, you have to. So you get it. You get her the four-course meal. You get her the fucking coffee, also. Yeah, no, just the coffee. That's just the entree.

SPEAKER_04

I just got that for the coffee shop. But then this little bit foreshadowed. The person I recognized when I walked in, now they're at the counter for they were sitting outside. Damn. Now they're at the counter for some reason. I was like, I don't want this person to see me with this. Anybody we know? No, no, no. It was like a childhood friend, which worse. Because then they tell everyone that I know. Everyone knows. They start taking the big thing.

SPEAKER_01

Did you see BJ with that whale?

SPEAKER_04

That's so uh I'm not sitting here like this. Now I'm sitting and I'm like just talking, have a conversation like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just blocking my face. Just trying to fucking, you know?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but no, you could have literally just sat behind her. I kind of feel bad. Nobody would have seen you. I could see left.

SPEAKER_03

Can you show me the picture, at least? So I could just see.

SPEAKER_04

What about from the second I got in my car? I went to Finder.com and I just deleted her.

SPEAKER_01

Is there is there like a celebrity that has like weight wise that would look like that person? Like who would you compare her to?

SPEAKER_04

Um that uh not precious. So you didn't say her full body, huh? Fat Amy, something like that. Was that her name?

unknown

What?

SPEAKER_04

Amy Schumer? Damn. I guess that works too. Amy Schumer. That works too.

SPEAKER_01

That's crazy, dog. I would've walked out.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I should have. So then how'd it end? Uh I called my friend. I was like, I faked the phone call. Sorry, real quick. I faked the phone call. Oh no, she knows you fuck you faked it. Yeah. Damn. I called, I said I got a phone call and I called my friend. I was like, hey, you need to come up with some excuse to get me the hell out of here.

unknown

Damn.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So then um, what'd you guys talk about before you fake the phone call?

SPEAKER_04

I don't know, I don't know. It's all a blur.

SPEAKER_03

Damn. I was just trying to like, I was just panicking. So you were there like, um getting the fuck out of here. Yeah, blue chew in his pocket, he was ready to go.

SPEAKER_01

No, he already took it, so he's hard.

SPEAKER_03

He doesn't know what the fuck he's looking at right now. Damn, I gotta jerk off like eight times.

SPEAKER_04

Pre-taking the blue chew before coffee date is crazy. Yeah, especially with the caffeine.

SPEAKER_03

Depends on how full your stomach is. I was hungry.

SPEAKER_04

I was hungry until I was until I saw her that I was full after that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, your mouth was full more.

SPEAKER_04

Would you I saw a little disappointment on her because by the end of it, she knew that I was just lying and I was just trying to leave.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I was like, I have to go. She should have fucking showed herself. I wanted to spaz out and just be like, hey, uh, like, you're a fucking catfish.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

You know? And just did it and then walk away. I should have did that. You should have. You're a fucking catfish and walk away.

SPEAKER_01

But you know how you're manners, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Because she probably did not catfish you.

SPEAKER_03

You just expect it.

SPEAKER_04

My biggest fear is someone just going to the when you're working. And then just finding out.

SPEAKER_03

That's okay.

SPEAKER_04

And then just finding out, you know, the worst way possible. I don't want my job to know that, you know?

SPEAKER_01

You fuck the fat chick?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but I don't in the picture. Was it really a catfish? The kit picture, no.

SPEAKER_01

I guess what Frank is asking is if if you saw the if you saw the photo for if she was really showing her photo, right?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And was it just upper body? It was her, but because you were so desperate to fuck some pussy, you were like, ah, I don't think that's reality.

SPEAKER_04

It's Alaska, so it's like, you know, there's not much to go around. That's true. You know?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but so did she just show like front, like the top, uh just neck up. Neck up pictures. No. And was it like where she was pointing, looking up at the camera? The neck was skinny. Yeah, because she was looking up at the camera, right?

SPEAKER_04

No, it was like face. It was like front. But the neck, you know?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Oh, damn. I realized that all the red flags. Yeah. I just didn't catch anything in the moment. Everything was just big, big. Everything.

SPEAKER_01

That's this is how you would know, right?

SPEAKER_04

If if the first picture If I saw her hands, I would have known. That too. But if the first hands have big meaty claws.

SPEAKER_01

Big meaty claws. If the first picture you see is uh six fucking females and you can't recognize which one, right there, run. Run. And because you You know she's the fat one of that fucking group. And then all the other photos. Damn. And all the other photos is fucking tits up. That's it. You know it's a fucking scam.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_03

BJ just he was horny.

SPEAKER_01

He didn't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_03

That's not bad though. I mean they call me. Did you pay? Yeah. Did you pay? For the coffee. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Scam.

SPEAKER_03

You sent her a message like, hey, you minding MO me?

SPEAKER_04

50-50, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Did she get a large?

SPEAKER_04

I changed my phone number after that. No, did she get a large?

SPEAKER_03

You gave her your real phone number? What a retard. Did you really? Can't you talk through the fucking app?

SPEAKER_04

What was Damn. It's a good time to change the subject. It's a good time to change the subject. No. Never. No way.

SPEAKER_01

You change your real phone number? You had to call your mom and be like, mom, I changed my phone number because this fat bitch.

SPEAKER_04

I just went off the grid after that. I didn't even talk to no one. I don't know what she knows at this point. She might know where I live. You can find a lot of information about my phone.

SPEAKER_01

But she can still find out who you are, because that information doesn't go away for a while.

SPEAKER_04

Well, thanks. Now I'm gonna go home fucking scared as shit. Wait, I think that's her right now. You wanna answer that? No.

SPEAKER_06

Sure.

SPEAKER_04

I changed my number. How did she get my new number?

SPEAKER_03

Alright, I'll pick up. Yeah, but uh, you wouldn't have at least got like a little blow driver or something. No.

SPEAKER_04

Nah, dude. You gotta give her a you gotta commit. I didn't even give a hug at the end. See, you gave her a side hug.

SPEAKER_01

See you later.

SPEAKER_04

I said bye. I waved. I fucking waved. As I was walking away.

SPEAKER_03

Damn.

SPEAKER_04

I feel bad for her. I just too. And then she said, Wait, BJ. And I was like, what? As I'm still walking away. Yeah. And she said something. I just like, I was like, oh, okay. Dang, I suck you. Text me when you get home. Yep. Because I'm still trying to be nice. I'm still gonna block you. So how long I'll like step out of here. Once I sat in my car, it was like an hour total, but it felt like 16.

SPEAKER_01

I probably would've hit it. You have to. No. You have to commit. No, I wish I. If you're single and you meet somebody on a fucking dating site, right? And they catfish you, so and you buy them coffee, like you go through everything, you gotta commit.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. No. Yes. Because then they win. They successfully cash me if I fuck them. They're not getting my penis. You're not getting my calm.

SPEAKER_03

That's my penis, and I'd give it to who I want to.

SPEAKER_01

I keep my jizz inside.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god, you imagine if you got a pregnant.

SPEAKER_04

I didn't realize how desperate I wasn't.

SPEAKER_01

So what? She's in Alaska. Who the fuck's gonna find out?

SPEAKER_04

I didn't realize how desperate I wasn't. AKA this dates.

unknown

Huh?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Say what? I thought I was de desperate until I Yeah, but fuck it, I got a hand. Until you couldn't get it hard. I didn't even bro, I couldn't even. You can have a threesome by yourself. Two hands, dude. That's a better night than that. That's what I'm saying. You can spit on one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Dry run the other one. Yeah. Oh, you're hurting me. This was that.

SPEAKER_04

Damn, that's cool though. It wasn't cool. No, it wasn't cool. It was just but I hope that our listeners can learn from my mistakes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I'm sure they're gonna fucking Yeah, they're like, yeah, his only mistake was not smashing that big fat. Most people probably would think that's gonna be honest.

SPEAKER_04

But it was it was bad.

SPEAKER_03

Do you think her vagina was like like two rolls? So let's say you have a little piece of salami and you put two big rolls there. And it's just kind of like the little lips are hanging out just a little bit, but there's a whole bunch of fat covering it. So you gotta go through the fat and go.

SPEAKER_01

It's like extra roast beef. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I imagine it would be like when the when the predator opens his mouth, that's what it would look like. The clits coming out. Yeah, that's what it would look like. Nice.

SPEAKER_03

It's pretty dope. So you think it would smell? Because big girls, they like to put a big girls like to put a lot of spray.

SPEAKER_01

Really? I think it smells. Because of like the sweat, they can't help it.

SPEAKER_00

It's like mayonnaise. Like rotten mayonnaise.

unknown

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_05

Who the fuck do you hang out with?

SPEAKER_03

That's Thailand, yo. No. I gotta stop going to Thailand. That's Alaska. That's a fucking Eskimo fucking chicks.

SPEAKER_04

That's what it was. No, I'm telling you, dude. Alaska. That's good. You might be right. That's why he wants to move there. No. And buy property.

SPEAKER_01

To get away from him, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

No, because that's where they're at. That would be the worst investment ever.

SPEAKER_01

That's more like Oklahoma.

SPEAKER_03

By the time you made your money back in fucking Alaska, your kid would be 85 years old.

SPEAKER_01

That's fine. The money's not for me.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, let me reword this. He won't benefit off of it.

SPEAKER_01

I guess.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I don't think so. I think you're wrong. They would never build it, they would have built on it already.

SPEAKER_03

No. No.

SPEAKER_01

That's like saying, why haven't they built around here or whatever? They do. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03

They're building all over the place.

SPEAKER_01

That happens everywhere.

SPEAKER_03

But they're not building. Do you think Alaska just started there a couple years ago? No, just people. Developers will move their shit anywhere. No, absolutely not. Anyway, so back to your cafe. I don't want to talk about that anymore.

SPEAKER_01

Africa completely.

SPEAKER_02

What? You could probably buy a lot of land. Yes. You say Africa? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Primarily. There's there's no swamps like Alaska. It's there it's fucking fertile ground. There's plenty of music.

SPEAKER_03

You can never build there. Why? Because you are not a black male from Africa. I swear to God, that's the rule. Exactly. That's a real rule. Yeah, it's a government rule.

SPEAKER_01

But again, yeah, no shit.

SPEAKER_03

You thought I was being fucked up? Yeah. But developers still have that option. So but the apartheid said the apartheid or whatever it was. So the government said you have to be uh a native. You have to be an African to start a business, do something. But they were having trouble doing so. Okay. So what they would do is the African person would own like start up a company, but then they would subcontract to whoever else from somebody from another country, whatever, to run the business and do the engineering and doing everything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So your two options are Alaska and Africa.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, those are the worst options ever. That's where you're trying to bring your family.

SPEAKER_01

It's cold. Developers don't want to go there. There's so much. No, it's not because of the cold.

SPEAKER_03

It's because they can't build on that piece. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that 20 acres you said for 30,000. You're out of your mind. I can't wait. You know what? I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_01

You're acting like I'm gonna bail with 30 fucking acres.

SPEAKER_03

You're gonna go in my in my miles, my credit card miles. Yeah. And I'm gonna get us a ticket. Nope. To this $30 fucking thousand dollar piece of land. Yes. In Alaska. And I want to go see his face when he's like, damn, hell yeah. Yep.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Dude, I'm telling you. It's not a terrible idea. For you, it is. That's why nobody will remember your name. I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_03

Nobody's gonna remember his fucking name when they're like, who? Oh, that motherfucker. Oh, that's the one who got eaten by a fucking bear.

SPEAKER_04

A grizzly fucking listen. Everyone will remember BJ. That's true. Especially that fat bitch. Yeah. I'll never forget her either. Do you think I'll forever be scarred?

SPEAKER_01

Dude, I almost punched a bear in front of my house. Do you think I'd give a fuck if we moved to a big thing?

SPEAKER_03

I chased the bobcat.

SPEAKER_01

I'd face a bear before I face a bobcat. I chased that motherfucker.

SPEAKER_03

That's digotron. I chased that bitch. I have a shotgun too. It's out of video. I scared the shit out of that motherfucker. I said, Nah.

SPEAKER_01

If I see a bobcat, I'm fucking running.

SPEAKER_03

Fuck that. I chased that bitch. He didn't fucking my chunk. Let my dog out and then. Oh my little baby. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I'll fuck you out of that bobcat. I know.

SPEAKER_01

And it'll fuck him up too.

SPEAKER_04

I'll kill that fucking you up too. I will kill that. Bare hands? Yep.

SPEAKER_03

Fuck yeah. You gotta do is grab his fucking head after that. Hell no. Start fucking just smashing on the ground. Dude, you're out of your mind.

SPEAKER_01

If you think you're gonna put your hands on a bobcat, that thing will fucking tear your ass.

SPEAKER_04

I'll fuck a bobcat up. The black cat will fuck. Black cat will do whatever he wants with you. Nope, never. The bobcat wants to fuck you and meet with you?

SPEAKER_03

Never meet with you. If you were alone, that chick would have killed you. I don't care how much fucking karate shit you know, motherfucker. You would have got fucking that's too much weight for you to handle. You don't you're your belt, your skill level is not to that weight yet. You've been trying to go for a chokehold, you can't, you gotta climb up the back.

SPEAKER_04

My arms can't reach around her neck.

SPEAKER_03

That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04

My arms, not hands.

SPEAKER_03

So anyway, the bobcat that I would have killed. So I scared it back into the woods. I threw a rock at it, big stone. Yeah. Missed it because I'm I'm bad at sports. So if the thing was in front of me, I threw that shit to the left. So I missed it by 10 feet. Either way, he knew I meant business. So then now, little chunky takes a dump. We dig a trying in chunk of watching TV. I look out the window, I see that fucking bobcat like creeping towards the bush. And it's staring inside the bush and it runs in there real quick and fucking comes out, and that's where all the baby rabbits live. Grab the fucking rabbit, it's like eating the rabbit and then took it into the woods.

SPEAKER_04

I felt so bad for that.

SPEAKER_03

That would have been you. Fuck no.

SPEAKER_04

That rabbit saved your fucking life. Chunk would have fucked up. If that rabbit wasn't there, that would have been you hanging from the bobcast movie. If Chunk saw me getting attacked, Chunk would have fucking watched. Nope. You think if survival instincts kick in for Chunk? I had the shotgun with me anyway. The dog would have ran. If that thing would have came at me, I would have boop. That bobcat would have moved into your house, and that the bobcat would have been Chunk's owner. He would have stole your life.

SPEAKER_06

Nope.

SPEAKER_04

Your wife is not married to a bobcat. I will fuck that bobcat up.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

The bobcat's gonna mate with you and then your wife after. Damn. This house? Maybe you could negotiate with the bobcat. Maybe the bobcat was selling to you for 600,000.

SPEAKER_03

The bobcat is a period. And we got wildlife. There's wildlife here. There's bears. A shit ton of bobcat, coyote, fox.

SPEAKER_05

I got that in my house. I don't think that's a selling point.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. There's a lot, dude.

SPEAKER_04

He doubled down on the selling point. There's a lot. I think the prices went down.

SPEAKER_03

Seriously, I think. If you go outside, especially at night, you need to have some kind of gun on. You might want to negotiate with Charlie Mike. You do need some kind of gun on gun on you.

SPEAKER_06

There you go. Oh, there you go.

SPEAKER_03

Especially at night, if you're letting a dog out, you need a gun. There's fucking you hear shit dying in the woods every night.

SPEAKER_01

In Alaska?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Are you over here? Are you imitating yourself when the bobcat kills you? Hell no. You're gonna have to pretend this do your normal voice.

unknown

Quiet, Bobcat, but quiet, quiet.

SPEAKER_04

What are you doing to this cat? What are you whispering to his ear for?

SPEAKER_01

God is choking it out.

unknown

Go to the light. Go to the light.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know if that's all that's happening. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Frank, you're telling me you don't hear the echo?

SPEAKER_04

That is last breath? Is that chunk? That's chunk.

SPEAKER_03

Chunk's like, get him, Tad. So anyway, that's good that you uh I think that was good, but um that was the only catfish you really had?

SPEAKER_04

I had one like 12 years ago. Yeah, yeah. Yeah? At the time. I was not I thought I was that part of my life was behind me. Twelve years later. What was this website? Seriously. That's more FIFA. Was it Fender?

SPEAKER_01

Was it Tinder?

SPEAKER_04

It was binge.

SPEAKER_02

What the fuck's binge?

SPEAKER_04

Binge the same shit. It was basically the same shit. Is it for like bisexual?

SPEAKER_03

No, it's not. What's the bisexual one? The gay one. I don't fucking know. I was hoping he would fight that shit. Damn. Nah, he knows. There is a gay one though. There's a but there's something Blender! No, those are glasses.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, those are glasses. There's there's like hundreds of fucking dating sites now. You can't even keep up with all this shit that keeps coming out.

SPEAKER_04

I know it, but I'm not gonna say it because you guys are setting me up.

SPEAKER_03

Grinder! Yeah, see? Is it grinder?

SPEAKER_04

That's where we met. Grinder, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I was fucking starving. Ended up with peanuts. I knew it. It's like, damn, I wanted a fucking roast beef sandwich. I ended up with a sausage. Ended up with a VJ. Yeah, fuck that. It was dope. Friday night, chilling. Um where the fuck is my thing with the notes? I have my thing upstairs. I wanna it's too serious. I don't want to talk about that.

SPEAKER_04

Did I learn my lesson?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, did you? I'm still on it. Of course. No. How else am I gonna find love? That's right. Show me a picture of any. You got any hot ones? Let me see. Come on. Let me see.

SPEAKER_01

Any hot ones that are messaging you?

SPEAKER_04

Yes. Please message me. I'm so sad.

SPEAKER_03

I just got catfished. I needed support. Answer me, please. You can't even go back and punch your name in.

SPEAKER_04

What? The chick's name.

SPEAKER_03

I was saying. You're not gonna be blocked her.

SPEAKER_04

I just you just unfollow the person. You just unmatched.

SPEAKER_01

Did she try reaching out like via text? And you fucking said, uh sorry?

SPEAKER_04

Oh no, I blocked her. I wouldn't know.

SPEAKER_03

That's behind me. She could have made you into an organ donor. She would have fucking brought you home. Right? She would have brought you home. You would have woke up with no fucking spleen. Yeah. You would have been in a hell of a. See? Boom. Everywhere that's not the US. Dude, she definitely would and you would have saw her eating it. Waking up. She would have been gnawing on your fucking toe. Put you in an ice bath. Keep you from fucking bleeding out. Yeah, that's fucked up, right? That's why I gotta meet in public places. She definitely ate people before. She's that big. 300?

SPEAKER_04

It wasn't the face though. I mean, it wasn't the weight, it was the face. Face was fucked up? She was like a shit ton of makeup. It was like a lot of money.

SPEAKER_01

So when she so when she went to see a donor mask. So when she went to see you, did she have makeup on or no? Yes. Okay. So it looked crazy. It was bad. So it was like because what a lot of females do now is like their skin on their face, tone, does not match just like the neck or their body. Yeah. It's like tail. And then you see their neck.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Sorry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I hate makeup, dude. That's like the worst fucking thing.

SPEAKER_03

I agree. I do too. I don't mind makeup. A lot, though. Do you ever see the ones that are like they're crackheads and then they make themselves look like supermodels?

SPEAKER_01

Most females look like crackheads with makeup on.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but there's some where you could tell. No. Like the average, the average female with makeup on, you could tell. Alright. Fine. You know what I mean? There's early in the morning, ah, you look a little different, but you're still cute. This bitch, she had like fucking fake teeth. She had fucking you saw it, right?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. It pops up on TikTok every now and then. Dude, these huge changes.

SPEAKER_03

You talk about cat, she you probably have to kill her. You would have to kill this bitch. I'd have to. Dude, it was so bad.

SPEAKER_01

If she pops up in the middle of the night walking down your drive, are you shooting her?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Probably. Yeah, because I'm I'm shooting her. Because she's probably gonna want to fucking try to rob me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

She looks like she was a crackhead. And she must have been pretty before she did crack.

SPEAKER_02

God damn it.

SPEAKER_03

So you did see her. What? Oh, your chick? Yeah. No. You're describing her perfectly. She was a crackhead looking.

SPEAKER_04

She's bad.

SPEAKER_03

Like she stopped doing crack and got fat. Yeah. Oh, man. Everything you can think of. You could have got AIDS.

SPEAKER_04

And then she tried to use like a mask full of makeup to hide it.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, so that's perfect.

SPEAKER_01

You probably ruined her for a while. You probably have a perfect example, yes. You probably ruined her for life. Like she went out to this day. She was like, yeah, I'm gonna put makeup on, look good for this BJ. It's like mom, I think this is the one. This is the one.

SPEAKER_03

This is the one, mom. No, it wasn't the one, mom.

SPEAKER_04

She had a whole dog shit.

SPEAKER_03

I hate this stuff. I'm never gonna do this again. She fucked you in the butt.

SPEAKER_02

No. What was she wearing? Yeah, what's she wearing? I don't know.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Was she wearing like uh like was her outfit weird? Meaning like she was she wearing like one of those like Jehovah's Witness like long skirts or a trench coat.

SPEAKER_04

Was there a thong? Was she wearing a trench coat? She was wearing a trench coat. She was a goth girl? No, she wasn't. I don't know. Damn. Who's a thong hanging out the back a little bit? I I can give you the number if you want. You want to reach out to her?

SPEAKER_01

I can find out who she is just by the number. No, like that. I can.

SPEAKER_04

Yo, girl. You're gonna bring this trauma back to my house. Let me see that.

SPEAKER_03

Let me see that thong, girl.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, baby, I like your baby. Can you start digging a singing a thorn song?

SPEAKER_03

Um so when I was talking about the uh the donor, uh, organ donor, I'm making Digga trying to take that shit off of her little off of her license.

SPEAKER_02

I had to.

SPEAKER_03

Did you see what what they do? Yeah, it's crazy. Hopefully, I still have all the fucking What's gonna happen to me? Okay.

SPEAKER_02

You're gonna get fucked.

SPEAKER_03

Let me see. Hold on. Standby.

SPEAKER_01

They try to say that oh, it's this, like there's always been that myth of like okay, check this out.

SPEAKER_03

Alive, aware, crying, and still prepared to harvest her organs. Um, it was supposed to be a routine organ donation in Colorado. Bryant Duff, a surgical technician, watching her as doctors sedated a woman, removed her from life support, and began preparing for organ procurement. Whoa, I said it. Even while she was still responsive. So, you know, they would fuck it, whatever responses. Uh the woman lay crying and darting her eyes while the uh ventilator was taking off. They don't uh so she was fucking, she knew what was going down. She started crying, and her eyes are like, what the fuck? And then she finally ended up dying.

SPEAKER_01

A lot of people think that they just uh like they wait till you die and they're like, all right, it's time to no. You have to be alive for them to take out your fucking alive organs. So they kill you. Pretty much, yeah. So basically they go to your family and they're like, hey, uh BJ ain't gonna make it this time, and they go, but okay, I guess we'll have to fucking do it. And then they call whatever company, the company that's keep them alive until so I don't know if you've ever seen the those cars that are flying on the highway with the fucking red lights that says like organ donation cars or whatever. They'll fucking call those motherfuckers, and right then and there they'll fucking chop you up, take out your organs, take it later, done.

SPEAKER_03

But it's supposed to be where your fucking brain dead.

SPEAKER_01

It's a whole business. It is a whole business.

SPEAKER_03

It's supposed to be where you're where your brain is dead.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Supposed to be. That's how it's supposed to be.

SPEAKER_03

Where there's no fucking response, there's no nothing, the ventilators keep everything's just dead. There's nothing going on. That's what it's supposed to be like.

SPEAKER_04

That that article was saying that there was some fishy shit going on.

SPEAKER_03

So let's see, there's another one. Three cardiologists in uh Northwell Health in New York just published a co-op to read they want to redefine uh death to include people who've lost higher brain function, like memory or consciousness.

SPEAKER_04

Uh which So doctors are out here at catfishing too? Yes.

SPEAKER_03

They're trying to lower the standard. Holy shit. They're trying to lower the standard um to declare you dead in order to take your shit. This is out of New York. Even with their brain stem still works, uh in other words, you'd be declared dead while your body is still alive, just so your organs can be taken. Wow. They admit that 40% of vegetated state diagnoses are wrong, and 15% of comatose patients show signs of hidden awareness. Still, they they uh they say it's worth the risk. Worth the risk to be the the issue donor? Yeah. No, to fucking take your shit.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So they're saying 15% of comatose patients show signs of hidden awareness. So their eyes might flicker or some shit when they're like they're aware, but they can't wake up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Like they're in a sunken place.

SPEAKER_03

So when I talk to somebody, I talked to somebody who was in a coma.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You talked to somebody that was in a coma? After they were Frank the Pope over here.

SPEAKER_03

That's the problem. That's why he wants to move to Alaska. So then with my comatosis. And they said they said they could hear things. Okay they would hear shit.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's like uh it's like when you ask people, like, oh, do you remember your dream when you're sleeping?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. If you had like a light sleep, that's what they kind of said. Yeah, I would I would you know when you're sleeping, your parents were fucking partying that night, yeah, had people over, and you kind of hear the background. Yep, yep, like that.

SPEAKER_01

You're about to pass out because you're so sleepy.

SPEAKER_03

So cardiologists call from the definition of death. Uh a woman named Daniela Galigos. Galigos? Galigos? Say it.

SPEAKER_02

Galigos.

SPEAKER_03

Say it, you say it.

SPEAKER_02

Galigos?

SPEAKER_03

See, that's different. See, that's weird.

SPEAKER_01

supposed to say I believe but I'm gonna say my way goligos is gone viral after reports surfaced surfaced that she woke up moments before doctors were set to uh start harvesting her organs fucked up right no I'm telling you now God forbid yeah some uh family member will say if one of these fucking dudes did that shit yeah and kind of like killed them just to get their shit there's gonna be a doctor on this table right here and I'm gonna harvest everything even this penis yep dude I can't say that it's a joke guys it's a fucking joke in the bucket I can't say you know so I'm joking but for real that's fucked up but that this has been a fucking thing for a while so I don't know if you've ever Frank I don't know if you've ever heard of the uh Chinese organ farms say no because two thousand so since two thousand um fucking in China there's been practitioners who just flat out like if you're going for uh fucking dental surgery or whatever this is where the myth started coming from when it actually happened basically they've estimated that in 2009 sixty five thousand people were fucking killed for fucking organ transplant.

SPEAKER_04

Sixty five thousand I believe it from two thousand to two thousand nine I believe that shit so it's probably at like half a million now probably like from like maybe three hundred thousand what's more common like we joked was a lot of people go like overseas for like minor surgeries like I know a friend of a friend they went to Turkey for a fucking hair transplant no they went to Turkey for a teeth for a breast implant okay and then came home everything was fine had great fucking tits came everything's seems fine. No kidneys lost kidney wait what they lost a kidney no they didn't it came home they were had they had back they had back trouble. It was a friend of a friend had back trouble they're like oh I gotta go to the doctor because this is getting worse yeah the doctor does a fucking CAT scan yup the doctor's like how long have you been missing a kidney No shit yo she's like what the fuck like so now what? She's missing a kidney that's it how did she not notice that after breast implants that she had stitches up well there's like a fucking they they probably went from there's like scars I think that's left. So they went in through and down this is like a this is a business and your back lower back on both sides.

SPEAKER_03

They had to have like your love handles at the back they probably told her that they probably getting made some excuse for the shit in the back like we had to drain some blood or something unless they did go through the fucking up here and they fucking I don't know dude that's a lot of fucking shit they gotta go through.

SPEAKER_04

It's a business the point is they didn't so basically they it was a they she went to the they went to the cops to try to do an investigation. Turkey cops no they went came back to America and they ain't doing shit over here uniforms have feathers on them over there but they came back here and then they basically get a whole investigation involved the FBI the phone number all right go ahead sorry the phone number the fucking address nothing it was all changed it was all gone exist phone number then address was gone she could have gotten some other diseases and shit like infections and everything those fucking those bags that she put in her shit to fill her piss yeah probably diddled her too they peed in those fucking things or put jello all right she's going back to America fuck them yeah yep that's crazy model dude I would never do that shit I would spend the 10 grand and come go over here if you go for a hair transplant and they say hey we have to put you to sleep.

SPEAKER_01

Nope like why no the guy who does my fucking uh plumbing shit here he goes to Mexico for his teeth it's okay teeth is fine he's missing a kidney I'm sure he's missing a kidney yeah ask him how his back is feeling true he might like you know admit some other shit's going on it says here that since 2020 it's an estimated that as many as 5000 wiggers have been killed for their organs what how many wiggers can't can you say that did you say that yeah what's a wigger are you allowed yes what is it did you is that what they say yes what's a wigger a wigger is a um Muslim Chinese person really yes oh okay I thought it was that old slang word right it's a white black guy yeah that's what I thought what the fuck are you reading from urban dictionary and shit say it in the sentence can you say it in a sentence a person practicing Islam in China from Chinese descent is a wigger oh wow you can say that's what it is it's not a slang like derogatory it's a literally the fucking it's like being like Jewish or whatever I never know that's a thing every day something every day you were uh I'm trying I'm gonna say this so that you can't be really identified but you were on a vacation I appreciate that you were on a vacation yeah and uh all your boys you're a handsome man thank you okay now you were in on what angle you look at them from so you were trying to get you and your boys were out there and you weren't getting any chicks remember this yeah and they were getting chicks and then I discovered why you weren't getting them because you had the beard you look like you're like my cousin yeah you're like my cousin you look like a Uyghur yeah you grow that beard you grow that beard and where you were they don't I don't think they like that's why you didn't get it didn't you say they were trying to they were saying like people were like oh Asalam alaykum or something yeah everyone see that's what it was what's the guy what's the fucking um guys from Kazakhstan or whatever that they fucking the fighters yeah what's his name oh those dudes are good um you know I'm talking about the UFC fighters the one who fucking killed McGregor all the Kabib Kabib right they don't have beard they just shave the fucking mustache yeah yeah but because he had the mustache part that's why only beard no mustache yeah yeah those dudes are fucking vicious yeah those dudes are badass two three years Kazakhstan that's forget dude Pakistan that's a name he was talking to fucking Cormier's son yeah you're thinking of fucking the same when he was gonna take Cormier's son to uh he goes you live with me for three years you do not caught him yeah forever it would be he said what fuck out of here is good yeah he is that's what trolley mics can be saying about fucking Alaska come to fucking two three years forget two three years Frank forget they're gonna string him up there they don't like him hell no dude thinking oh he he's gonna turn back to I know I was just gonna say that yes like oh you're back to your native land and you're like yes I am that's fine and then the Spanish is gonna come out by accident give me my fucking hunting and then they're gonna kill him they're gonna kill him I don't think there's Mexicans in Alaska because they're they're everywhere these fuckers are everywhere yeah you were there so you hate see anything you oh me you're right yeah there are Mexicans Alaska Mexican Alaska yeah that's not gonna work out for you yes it is you don't know what you're talking about Frank okay that's fine Frank nasty that's right it's good I can't wait till he fucking moves there he's like yo I had to sell my house why it's terrible over there it's so cold I got chased by 14 bears I can't even go get my mail it's cold here it's gonna sink in the fucking water that's what it is you get three months of summer here and everybody's like oh it's fucking phenomenal here no it's not I hate it yeah here you are I hate it I already said I'm getting to go to Florida I already said I'm moving yeah when he's 90 Florida's worse okay yeah no it's gonna be soon you're going to Florida oh yeah I don't know if it's Florida's waiting could be uh could be uh everybody goes there to die true yeah well that's a good place to fucking go while you wait don't die sooner if you go there no or maybe Carolina between me and Frank right he wants to go to Florida because he likes the people and he likes drinking and being at the beach I'm the opposite I don't like being at the beach and I don't like people.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah me too so why the fuck am I gonna go where there's a lot of people and I'll I don't think he likes uh you're gonna tell me what I like shitty people you're gonna tell me what I like I don't think he likes shitty people but he could be around people no that's what I think yes or no am I right no I don't think don't look at me he's I like being around people first of all you know most of our neighbors I don't even know their names I know two people and we've been living there for almost two years I think he's a social butterfly button he is like for certain people I'm not going to fucking I'm not I'm not going to fucking shithole areas with shitty people predominantly a predominantly what?

SPEAKER_01

Wealthy area okay right so who doesn't live there me people like me don't live there so it's people like me yes my people don't live there so I get I try to get along with people I like normal people influence uh my living area yeah normal people huh what if you live in Mexico my god kids are Mexican are they yeah sort of guys you have god kids yeah I gotta have more god kids I don't even know half of them that's goddad are you my goddad can I inherit the can you give me the house for for I gave cheap I gave it for for cheap cheap 800 cheap 799 739 for you 739 is not terrible it's better than 750 the um what was I gonna say you'd be all these god kids from those early like what 2000 commercials where they were like if you give 50 cents to whatever no I was chosen I was chosen I was chosen so that's why you don't have kids not fucking I got 30 other kids I gotta take care of when they die no way huh you don't no do you see any fucking kids running around you see that's my boy see any fucking baby pictures like I don't know no are you looking for kids no Frank doesn't like kids I don't mind for this house I think kids are great son for this house yeah great kids are great and then they could go home with their parents that's it see this again this is the side of Frank that's different from mine Frank likes his life he likes having his space selfish he's selfish he likes going out to bars he likes fucking hanging out with people I don't let's go I can't I get fat I used to be that way and heartburn I kind of grew out of it I like being at home in my all of a sudden now he's old you have a family this dude's like fucking 18 years old I can't go out I can't go out I see you in my future dude I don't think I'm gonna be like you fuck yeah I'll go out right now but I got I I get fat quick I gotta go out now at my back and it's very expensive it is especially in Alaska what is drinking it's more expensive than having kids a hundred percent fuck them kids no way I don't drink a hundred percent drinking is more no way yes okay if you do on a the beat can't be a my god kids do uh hockey and I'm pretty sure my cousin spends it's gotta be at least between one and two I'm not saying two a month just for the two kids to go do their hockey shit. Sure that's my kids that's just hockey my kids not doing hockey the fuck why not they're not wicked what the fuck are you why they're they're not wiggers yeah they're Mexican minor Mexican I've never seen a Mexican and they're on the West Coast and they're on the West Coast and they're on the west coast and they're very good.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Why can't your kid play if your kid said I want to play hockey I my kid is not exposed to hockey Mexicans don't like ice we I didn't know he's not on a hockey website right now dreaming because he's five dreaming he's also not a wigger dreaming of being a hockey player hell no he's never he doesn't even he's dreaming of playing soccer or baseball his dream is to be like a YouTuber just like every fucking kid nowadays are you gonna get him into sports?

SPEAKER_01

Am I gonna get him into sports? No why should get him into I think you should he has a blood condition where he cannot oh are you serious? Yes why you gotta fucking be all weird you're a piece of dead shit you're a piece of shit fucking I don't know I gotta fucking make it all serious you're done fucking dick this is no longer your podcast you're canceled he can be a doctor Spotify so when you go through the airports right now we're gonna switch it now you just fucking brought it all down it's true I've been and I've been uh having him study and be trying to be good at math and reading and all that right enough to where to where we can push him to be like a lawyer or a doctor not a fucking what if he wants to be an engineer not to get to get CTE when he's fucking 18. Sorry not when you're playing just like you and I we don't like sports. So don't act like you like sports I'm not good at him. So you you pay you pay attention to fucking I like MMA that's a sport okay sure but do you pay attention to any of these fucking sports nowadays?

SPEAKER_03

Exactly so who gives a fuck I did um I did uh what the fuck's a thing on TV not TV on the uh fucking shit fake sports shit I don't even know when you fake uh oh fantasy so I did fantasy football right I don't even know how you do that watch this I'll show you how I did it frank nasty I don't even know the the name of the quarterback of the fucking Patriots anymore neither do I but check this out I made it to the Super Bowl or to the playoffs and I was like this close to the Super Bowl so what I did was my brother knows sports so when it was my turn to pick shit I would send I would screenshot it say hey shoot who should I pick and he made all the picks for me and I just submitted them and then and then when we got to the playoffs everybody in there's like how the fuck are you in the playoffs?

SPEAKER_01

How are you picking all the who's helping you like nobody yeah nobody I can't just fucking pick numbers yeah right they knew they knew I was going chat GBT nowadays I had fun though you can say this person's available this person's available who should I pick I had fun in my fantasy and I look like a man yeah yeah yeah the bar you look like a man yeah I know I'm looking for fucking Don Mattingly make a touchdown he's a baseball player from back in the day yeah you should know that Charlie Mike what aren't you Dominican baseball you're not Dominican no you could be no you can't pass for Dominican no I'm not Doctor for Eskimo Ecuadorian you do Eskimo Mexican I don't see Puerto Rican at all no right not at all maybe a Native American too El Salvador all my family has straight hair like perfectly straight hair you you did that fucking test the genealogy so a lot of people don't know that um like people with straight hair that are from like South America or Central America Caribbean islands most of their lineage comes from either like Spain or China no shit that's why their hair is very yes their hair is very straightforward if you look at Peruvians like like like that live there. If you look at like Peruvians from like that live there currently like in the tribes and shit they all look fucking Chinese no shit.

SPEAKER_03

I'm sure I'm sure somewhere native American hair because their hair's not straight like you're Google theirs like falls down mine doesn't fall down mine is like straight up if you look like Native American hair it's like it's like oh yeah it kind of just falls through oh yeah you're not Indian no you ain't getting nothing from the casinos nope nah toasted literally you're definitely Middle Eastern me? Yeah oh yeah I do get stopped at the airport a lot good while we're on the subject do you really I do I'm sure he does a random screening but I'm in the military I don't give a fuck get over here like I tell them my last name and they're like nope the check in credentials he's gotta give his fingerprints go sit over there until we fucking run it through the machine. Yep yeah but yeah I get stopped good for me I was thinking of uh because I travel so much with the military getting that um thing where you pay like a hundred a year and you just fucking go right through you don't even have to check pre-check clear pre-check clear no not pre-check I think I'd get stopped more because they scan your face yeah so basically I would get stopped more if I did clear is you you fucking show your ID yeah you pay a hundred a month a year or whatever and you just grab your bags and you walk right through the airplane they don't have to show your ID you just scan your face right you go to the fucking because it's the old fucking ID thing yeah you scan your face or whatever that are you're good and you walk directly to your airplane clear how if I do this it's a hundred bucks I'll do it hundred bucks an hour I would definitely do it that could save you like two hours because pre-check is like sometimes pre-check line is longer than the regular line yes yeah especially now go to Bradley oh yeah it's fucking echo go to Bradley and fucking see now it sounds better it's your mic dude I'm telling your mic that you've put in this fucker that mic is better than the person using it sure it's definitely I went to Bradley fucking your mic control sucks penis six months ago to Bradley and I waited an hour and a half and fucking pre-check what time did you go like you drop me off like fucking five in the morning?

SPEAKER_01

That early? Yes was it a holiday weekend? No holy shit it was like a Thursday on a fucking regular day at five in the morning when I go that early there's like nobody there. No not even in the big line if I would have known I would have gotten there two hours earlier than that. Where are you going?

SPEAKER_03

Massachusetts no I was going I was going to South Carolina if my plane is at six I'm getting there at like 330 now I am that's insane yep I get there two and a half hours.

SPEAKER_01

No way I get the hour before too I have to get that anymore no because if you because that happened to me once I got there an hour early they said pre-check for the fucking plane at this time is closed they said now you're fucked you're fucked so now you gotta get two hours closed for you no they said that for for Delta's policy is like an hour before at least at least I get there two and a half hours two it could be even three yeah I'll get there I fucking put my bags through I do what I gotta do and I don't care I'll fly first class I don't give a fuck yes I don't give a fuck I so because what happens is with the military they'll buy your you'll buy your ticket and you just pay the difference and they'll be like okay yeah I don't do that you think I'm gonna pay three grand for first class no I'll just pay the fucking 70 80 bucks worth it whatever yeah pay a hundred bucks go right on the app oh there's uh first class C available right now okay I'll take it you gotta wait 30 minutes extra okay unlimited drinks on the plane that's pretty dope with a chair like this compared to the little phone when you put it like I think you get drunk faster on the plane yes when you put it like that I think so dude I'm telling you I've you know how many how many times have I sent you photos of me in first class drinks right is that like a first class thing huh I'm swine I don't know wait what I said what I don't know the I don't know what what's the first class culture do you get free I don't know I haven't been in yeah you get free drinks unlimited is that like every airline everybody in first class at least in Delta if you get first class yeah I've never been in first class don't get first class in jet blue don't get first class in South It's all the same the same size seats you just get closer to the front that curtain separates it's just a curtain that separates you yeah but it's the same size seat if you want to be comfortable get you know American Airlines Delta you know airlines that matter United first class first class I'm gonna go to those fucking what is it emirates the Emirates you get business class like 20 grand for a chair dude dude you get your own room yes and then they have a bar upstairs what yes I've been on that flight once is that what were they at a bar upstairs yes oh did you look at it or no or you weren't allowed there we went we went up there but we weren't like I wasn't we were because I won't let you I wasn't 21 at the time so I wasn't even even if I even if I wanted to I couldn't fucking know this was like 2013 I would love dude I don't care if the flight was fucking 18 hours if they had a bar up there I'd be chilling it was like 21 hours bullshit with people like chilling at the bar it'd be so much fun you went first class no 30,000 feet I would have to see like what was on the second floor because it was a two tier boat. I took a two tier

SPEAKER_04

Flight to uh to Albania.

SPEAKER_01

I was in this middle, I was in the middle seat. I did two to Australia. I was like in the middle seat of the fucking row.

SPEAKER_04

I took a two-free flight to London. Oh.

SPEAKER_01

Dude, I was in the middle seat of this fucking flight on this row. Yeah. There was like seven people to my left and seven people to my right. So the one time that I got out, I was like, I'm gonna make this shit worth it because I'm not gonna get back in and out, dude.

SPEAKER_03

That was like in uh when we're Australia, it was that big of a crap.

SPEAKER_01

Crazy, dude. You get in there, you're like, what the fuck don't they like? Oh yeah, you're an A13, and you're like, what? They're like, it's in the middle of the fucking plane, dude.

SPEAKER_03

You know what I'm saying? Like, yo, digatron. We're gonna smash them cheeks on this plane. And then you couldn't, nobody would notice. Well, yeah, well, yeah, but listen to this. So that this was out of Hong Kong. And then I read something, and then like, I don't know what it was. My phone must have heard me say, hey, we're gonna fucking smash cheeks. And then all of a sudden it says, American tourists detained for having sex in the fucking plane. I was like, nope, nope.

SPEAKER_01

I said, fuck that. Don't fucking hang you over, buddy.

SPEAKER_03

I was like, fuck, we ain't doing that shit. You're out of your fucking mind. Yeah, fuck that.

SPEAKER_04

They'll detain you back.

SPEAKER_03

We bang in a bathroom. We could just do that when we land. Yep. Fuck that, gross. The bathroom was big. You can fucking definitely smash it there.

SPEAKER_01

See, you got oh well. Oh well.

SPEAKER_03

There's plenty of opportunities.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Do you think people uh I would smash in those little cottages they have in first class? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, a hundred. How many of course people have?

SPEAKER_03

Come on.

SPEAKER_01

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

And then people start clapping. You gotta do it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you gotta do it at like three in the morning when everybody's asleep. And you know the stewardess aren't coming around. No, they'll knock. Even then, yeah, but if you're quiet enough to pull it off. It's like you'll see me like a little hamster just full of things.

SPEAKER_03

You'll see me, you'll see like the top of my head.

SPEAKER_06

I'm like come back later.

SPEAKER_04

You can't yell, you can't scream. They're gonna then they're gonna come knock.

SPEAKER_03

I remember one time I I uh released Jizzed. Yeah, I knew it. I was trying to say, you know, trying to make it polite. Dude, did you ever see I saw stars?

SPEAKER_06

Yes, I saw and then I fell off.

SPEAKER_03

Yep, I fell off.

SPEAKER_01

I was like, oh cardio, that's why that was back in the day.

SPEAKER_03

Now I'm professional.

SPEAKER_04

So what's the method now? If you're professional now.

SPEAKER_03

I don't know, I'm just uh just pro. Just professional.

SPEAKER_04

Just time. Just time, age, yeah, experience, perfection, wisdom. Yep. I forgot you're 95, so that's fine. At least I'm not Middle Eastern, yeah. Oh shit. Just kidding. I'll fucking blow this podcast up now. You hear that echoing the whole time? Yeah. That's my fucking doubt. Interference.

SPEAKER_03

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_04

Say something.

SPEAKER_02

You remember that show 24?

SPEAKER_03

24?

SPEAKER_04

One cold word away from that. This house is gonna be worth zero dollars.

SPEAKER_02

Damn, that sucks. You don't remember the house. You want the house 24?

SPEAKER_04

You want the house for cheap? Yes.

SPEAKER_02

Leave now. The show 24 with Jack Bauer. Oh, can you shut that off for me?

SPEAKER_03

Okay, that was perfect timing. That's the bomb.

SPEAKER_01

You don't remember Jack Bauer? And the fucking the timer would fucking come down like in the fucking intro?

SPEAKER_02

No. What? Oh! Speaking of fucking movies.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I'm never trusting you again. Why? Holy fuck.

SPEAKER_03

Um.

SPEAKER_01

That one. Yeah, that's your fucking movie.

SPEAKER_04

What the fuck? So you hear that exact sound effect at three in the morning? Um run.

SPEAKER_03

So I'm never listening to you again ever in my life when it comes to fucking movies. What movie did you watch? Idiocracy. Holy fuck. The stupidest fucking movie I ever saw in my life. It was 20 minutes, and I'm looking at Dick and I'm like, yo, I gotta shut this shit off. I can't fucking take this. They went to court. I made it to where they went to court, and I'm like, shut this shit off. It's a garbage. Garbage. Have you seen never heard of it? Don't ever watch it unless you want to like hate watch something. Watch nothing, Charlie Mike recommends. No. Well, no, matter of fact, yeah, because anything, it's either fucking devil worship shit and you're never gonna fall asleep, or it's gonna be fucking uh idiocracy.

SPEAKER_01

Dude, when we were talking about idiocracy, we were talking about how they perfectly showed where this country's gonna fucking go with how retarded people are.

SPEAKER_03

Well, we did watch that part. Like that made sense in the beginning. So I was like, oh, this is gonna be good because they were showing about like how the dumb people fucking reproduce and do it. So it was good. And then all of a sudden it went to shit. Cause you didn't finish it. It went to shit when the fucking when they were black people, the president. No. When they found himself when they found him this movie and he went into the fucking uh because he's now the smartest guy ever. It went to shit when the guy threw him out the window.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

That's stupid.

SPEAKER_01

Spoiler alert. So you didn't get to the Costco part?

SPEAKER_03

You didn't get to the Costco part?

SPEAKER_04

Yes. That's why you like it so much, because Costco's in a fucking movie. This guy loves fucking Costco. Costco's in the movie. You should watch this movie Costco's in it. I do. Excuse me, Costco's life. That would all make sense. So that was a dumb movie. This guy loves Costco. We're blowing that movie up. Ha ha ha.

SPEAKER_01

You never saw the uh So this is his movie.

SPEAKER_03

Yep. Garbage.

SPEAKER_01

You never saw 24?

unknown

Nah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, he knows.

SPEAKER_03

You want me to put it on mine?

SPEAKER_01

You don't remember seeing that? That was the like part of the intro to the fucking show? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I remember that show.

SPEAKER_01

So basically the guy has like 24 hours to solve XYZ, whatever habit in the fucking show. It was good.

SPEAKER_04

Don't watch it. Costco isn't one of the things. What other movies you got? That's why he wants you to watch it.

SPEAKER_01

You don't remember Keith Ke Key or Suddenly? Yeah, I remember him. Yeah, he's a good actor. Yeah. But you wouldn't watch it? That's crazy.

SPEAKER_03

Like that other guy was a good actor who was in uh idiocracy, but the movie's terrible.

SPEAKER_01

I guess. I mean, it's supposed to be terrible. That's the whole fucking premise. That doesn't make it terrible. Like the movie. That doesn't make it good. Nobody's saying that the movie was supposed to be good. It's a good representation of where we're going to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_03

Right now, recommend. Law abiding citizen. It's a good one. No, but like something else.

SPEAKER_04

Something that's a good one. Something else. That doesn't count because it's actually good. Yeah. Supposed to recommend bad stuff. Something I can make funny with. Alright, do another one.

SPEAKER_03

Don't ruin it.

SPEAKER_01

The one where Leonardo DiCaprio fights the bear. I can't mention Leonardo.

SPEAKER_04

I can't stop looking at your name. You can't mention Leonard. You have to mention a movie that no one's everyone knows that movie. Wait, which one? The new one. The Revenant. Reverend Revenant. Yeah, like he Yeah, you should watch this movie that he won an Oscar for. I don't think you won an Oscar. I don't think you did. He did? Yes. Oh. He's never won an Oscar. You won an Oscar for that movie. Oh. Yeah. Django's. People just don't remember it because he's going to slap somebody after. That's right.

SPEAKER_03

Django's good. That's the only reason why people don't remember it. Yeah. Django's good.

SPEAKER_04

Django's good. Yeah, but everyone knows it.

SPEAKER_01

You gotta. A movie that nobody knows?

SPEAKER_03

Like Idiocracy, nobody really knows that shit. That shit.

SPEAKER_04

A movie that, you know, no one's watched.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know. I don't I don't know. Idiocracy, people have watched it too. It's not an unknown movie. It's a really known movie. Who's the director of idiocracy? I think it was like one of the South Park fucking.

SPEAKER_04

They're not gonna sponsor you, dude. You don't have to keep talking about them.

SPEAKER_01

You're sleeping.

SPEAKER_03

That's how I was during the movie. 20 minutes. Just like this.

SPEAKER_04

Is that actually you?

SPEAKER_03

Nah. I got some sounds. You wanna hear me?

SPEAKER_04

That's actually sound.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, see the the the director was Mike Judd. Judge, who's the guy from uh Beavis and Butthead.

SPEAKER_04

That doesn't make it better. It's supposed to be dumb.

SPEAKER_01

They didn't do a good job. It's supposed to be dumb. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04

Sounds like it. That's me pissing on that movie.

SPEAKER_01

That's fine. It's not for everybody. Again, I'm not saying it was Oscar worthy.

SPEAKER_04

It's not Revenor. There's no bears being caught in that movie. How long would this go for? Is that you? That's me.

SPEAKER_01

Yo, I went on for like five minutes two days ago. That shit was crazy.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, no, we got it. This is actually you. This is me. There's a mic in your bathroom. There's cameras in your bathroom.

SPEAKER_01

There's cameras everywhere in my house.

SPEAKER_03

This is real.

SPEAKER_01

See, mine sound like uh there's a diesel engine after.

SPEAKER_04

Spoiler alert, that was not a recording. That was live pissed on the podcast.

SPEAKER_03

I recorded that and um I was like, it was uh about a year ago.

SPEAKER_01

Do you think people are as stupid now as they were like a hundred years ago? Maybe two, three hundred years ago? Like if you went back in like Egyptian times, right? No. I think uh fucking dumb how they were. Neanderthals type? No.

SPEAKER_03

I think we're getting dumber now.

SPEAKER_01

No, like uh back when there was like pharaohs and shit. So not Neanderthals, but people are still not developed enough like now. There's no technology.

SPEAKER_03

I think we're getting stupider.

SPEAKER_04

I think once they took I think we are because they built the fucking pyramids back then.

SPEAKER_03

I think once they took pyramids before that, no. Once they took like cursive away.

SPEAKER_04

So we're definitely gonna dumb them.

SPEAKER_03

Serious, once they took cursive away from the fucking schools, it's like, you know what? I heard that of that. Let's just dumb dumb them down on it.

SPEAKER_01

My sister doesn't know how to sign cursive. So your sister's retarded.

SPEAKER_03

It's like they took the elegance away from life. They did. Yep. Serious. They did. There's no calligraphy anymore. Fucking garbage.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Oh damn, dude. You know how to write in cursive? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Right now, pull out a paper. I'll fucking write incursive right now. Right.

SPEAKER_01

I am retarded on a piece of paper. And in in c in calligraphy.

SPEAKER_03

Oh. Not calligraphy. That's like a fucking couple of things. Yeah, there's a thing right there. Pen right there. No, I don't do calligraphy. That's like an art. But cursive, yeah. Retarded. Right uh catfish.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Signed catfish.

SPEAKER_03

I'm retarded forgetting catfish, so that's a long time to write it. Yeah, right? Let me see. Let me see.

SPEAKER_04

Let's see.

SPEAKER_03

Right catfish.

SPEAKER_04

That's good, right? Let me see. That's legit. I don't think you can spell catfish. I think I spelled retarded wrong though. I'm retarded to dead.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's retarded.

SPEAKER_03

That's good, right? I think that's a good thing. I think they they dumbed off. They dumbed the kids down.

SPEAKER_01

That's legit, right? Yeah. The T's a little off, the R's a little off, but close enough to how kids are nowadays that they don't know anything.

SPEAKER_03

I don't think they I think that uh I think I put to each other and all this chat GBT. Fucking slows everybody down. Yes. Because the kids don't have to think for themselves at all. So let's.

SPEAKER_01

Don't you think that that's where we're going as a species? Yeah, that's what's going on.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. So let's say uh when I was younger and my fucking bike broke.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I didn't have YouTube to try to fix it. I had to take the shit apart.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, figure it out.

SPEAKER_03

Figure out what it looked like and then try to put it back.

SPEAKER_01

But now you're retarded because you fucked up your bike and now you don't know how to put it back.

SPEAKER_03

And I didn't. No, but you know what I did? So I would fuck it up. So watch this.

SPEAKER_04

Remember, I'm retarded. If I took the bike apart, I would take it took the spracket apart.

SPEAKER_01

It is confirmed. BJ does know how to write cursive. That's bad, though.

SPEAKER_04

It's bad, but it's not the first one. I'm retarded, remember.

SPEAKER_01

He spelled retarded wrong.

SPEAKER_03

Let's say I had to take the bike apart.

SPEAKER_04

That's confirms that I am?

SPEAKER_03

A little bit. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

If you can't spell retarded, I think you're kind of like that.

SPEAKER_03

So if I took it apart and then I put it back together and it was fucked up, then I had to take it apart again, found out what the fuck I fucked up on and fix it and eventually I picked it up.

SPEAKER_01

It happens all the time. I mean we rode the bike with kids all the time.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but kids can't do that shit now. They got fucking YouTube tell. I mean, I use YouTube a lot for that stuff. And it's fine. They get anxiety and a lot of things. All that shit. All the parents tell them they have fucking anxiety. They're all fucking full of shit, these fucking assholes. They're like, oh, you have anxiety. No, you don't. You're fucking stressing out because you can't figure it out. Right. So fucking figure it out. They need a good ass beating. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking shitheads.

SPEAKER_04

Let her ass beat. Look how we turned off.

SPEAKER_03

Dude, there's.

SPEAKER_01

I almost fell backwards.

SPEAKER_03

There's people, there's like parents that are like, oh, I think I gotta send them to therapy for this. No, you don't.

SPEAKER_01

No, you don't. Same parents that go to therapy. First of all, you need a couple drinks, sit down with a friend, and be like, this is the fucking problem. Let's think about it like an adult. I don't need to pay another adult because I got no friends.

SPEAKER_03

And then you go there every week and they remind you you go there every week, they remind you of the same fucking problem and it never goes away. Eventually you're gonna have to fucking move on. Yes. You figure it out, this is why it happened. You're gonna have to move on. Time heals wounds. Yep.

SPEAKER_04

But if you go to somebody, angry therapists.

SPEAKER_03

You go to somebody, fuck them, they're all fucking cocksucking thieves. If you go there and they remind you every week that you have a fucking problem, you're never gonna fucking stop your problem.

SPEAKER_04

I think you should be you'd be a good therapist.

SPEAKER_03

I'm gonna. I'm like, listen, Dick, you're gonna be here about three times. We're gonna figure it out, and then you gotta fucking kick rocks.

SPEAKER_01

That's it.

SPEAKER_04

That's gonna make me want to.

SPEAKER_01

Because think about it. These guys, their job is to make money, right? Yeah, every it's their business. Sure. But their business is to keep you there going all the time. Yeah. So they're so your insurance keeps paying them their $300 for your hour.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, they don't want to solve your problem.

SPEAKER_01

And they don't want to solve your problem. They're gonna get you just enough where you gotta come back.

SPEAKER_04

It's like a $500 day every time you show up. Yeah, but you kind of motivated me. I kind of want to hire you. Fuck yeah. There you go. You're gonna listen. You're gonna be like, hey, get the fuck out of here, you're healed. I'm like, Yeah, you're fucking healed. I'm gonna have to I'm gonna that makes you want to pay and come back.

SPEAKER_03

There we go. There you go. And we can both show you. That's a different story. We can meet somewhere, you fucking pay me for some drinks, and then we hang out. That's it.

SPEAKER_01

That's a different story, though. Like if you want to pay because you want to come back versus I'm literally making you have to come back. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, there's people that that go to therapist because they just want to vent.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, because they got no social skills and they can't talk to you.

SPEAKER_03

They want to fucking have a bullshit. They're like, you know, I did this, I worked to this, fucking sucked, and blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_01

It's podcasting, yeah. Yeah, this is pretty much like venting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Basically, yeah. Or you go to your you have a barber. Everyone has a barber. If you have a barber, you don't need a podcast, you don't need a therapist. True. Therapist.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely not. Yep. If you have a good Spanish barber. If you go to fucking I have a good Spanish barber. If you go to like fucking, what's that place called? Fucking um that everybody that people go to that's like five bucks, ten bucks fucking uh super cuts. If you go to supercuts, they're not real barbers.

SPEAKER_03

Unless you know them, unless you're there. Yeah, you gotta be a regular.

SPEAKER_01

But they're there for only cut Wiggers hairs. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. The um That's all they cut.

SPEAKER_04

I lost my fucking train of thought. Freak nasty, a black man would not want to go there. Right. Yeah. You know, cut your hair well. A lot of people don't understand as a black man. I went to that's why you get called nasty.

SPEAKER_03

I went to a barbershop. I went to a barbershop, right? And it was uh predominantly a black barbershop. Sure. In a black neighborhood. We're in a good place. But I needed a fucking haircut because I was leaving for a cruise the next day or a resort the next day. I was like, fuck, they didn't know how to cut your hair. I went over there, I said, Hey, do you cut white hair? Yeah. And the guy goes, I don't, and he wasn't being mean. Yeah. But he does. That's where he started. I was like, boom, cut my hair. So then the line was very short for him. Yeah. Very short. Yep. I cut, I went over there, fucking gave me a badass haircut.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, you good hair?

SPEAKER_03

Yep, gave him a $20 tip back then was a lot. Yeah. And I was out. Because he took me fucking quick and I needed to get the fuck out of there.

SPEAKER_04

If you said instead, say, hey, I need does anyone here cut a wigger's hair? The black guy would have cut your hair. What are they again? Chinese hair. In Middle Eastern?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's like like Turkish in the world. Is that like your hair? That's not like your hair. No. It's like fucking Chinese. Like regular white hair.

SPEAKER_03

No, he has Chinese hair. Is it khibs? Wigger hair is regular white hair then.

SPEAKER_01

No, it's like khib. No, no. We've reshaped. Oh, it's definitely like yours.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. You have it. Yeah. You got my hair hair. You have khib hair.

SPEAKER_04

No, I got Mexican hair.

SPEAKER_01

No, I got Mexican hair. You got fucking kabib hair.

SPEAKER_03

You have Middle Eastern shit. Do I? You got the nose for Middle Eastern.

SPEAKER_01

You got like a hairy back hair.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

How do you not have a hairy back hair?

SPEAKER_03

Dude, I'm fucking hairy like a motherfucker. It's disgusting. What? It's disgusting, man. Yeah, fuck you. Yo. My shit will connect from my hair from head to toe.

SPEAKER_01

It's shaved.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I shave it, but if I don't, it'll connect. I look like Trubaki. You have you have something.

SPEAKER_04

You have to shave your back, that's why. I don't grow hair. I get a thing.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, you don't.

SPEAKER_01

I have one giant hair in my back.

SPEAKER_03

He got alopecia, yo.

unknown

He got back.

SPEAKER_03

What about your butt crack? He got hair in his butt crack?

SPEAKER_01

He doesn't have it? Not anymore.

SPEAKER_03

I trim that anymore.

SPEAKER_01

I have no hair from my fucking nose down.

SPEAKER_04

Would you go to Turkey? Had a hair removed? People go to Turkey to get more hair. You got it removed there? Damn.

SPEAKER_01

Do you see any hair on my form? It's not shaved. I don't shave it.

SPEAKER_03

I shave it. Are you a woman? I shave my legs too. No.

SPEAKER_01

Look, it's like really light.

SPEAKER_03

You don't trim your legs? No, I want to see it. Let me see.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god! I thought you said you shaved.

SPEAKER_03

Did you ever see f yeah, I haven't done it in a while.

SPEAKER_04

Let me see. Oh, that's smooth.

SPEAKER_01

Smooth smooth. Did you ever see the movie Waiting? My assholes like that too.

SPEAKER_03

Did you ever see the movie Waiting? Is it as bad as Idiocracy? Okay, so the movie Waiting is awesome. And there's a part in the movie where she shows her bush. That's what your leg looks like.

SPEAKER_01

Idiocracy?

SPEAKER_03

You should see my bush. Oh, dude, you definitely got a bush. Uh waiting. I've never seen it. Oh, it's it's way better than your fucking shit. He doesn't have S S crack hair? I have nothing. I shave it all.

SPEAKER_01

Nothing. I don't even have armpit hair.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

You might be a woman. We get it. I understand.

SPEAKER_01

You have RP hair for real. I know. Huh?

SPEAKER_04

What happened?

SPEAKER_01

What do you mean what happened? If I grow hair, I take it off. Oh, so you shave it?

SPEAKER_04

You're a liar. You made it seem like you don't grow hair.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, on my forearm.

SPEAKER_01

On my forearms, I don't I don't sh I don't grow hair.

SPEAKER_03

You grow underarm hair.

SPEAKER_01

I do grow underarm hair. Do you shave it? Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Like a chick? I trim it probably.

SPEAKER_01

It's less disgusting.

SPEAKER_03

What do you think?

SPEAKER_01

That's okay. Do you want my hair tickling your neck when I'm like, Yeah, but do you want a little fuzz? Not at all. Not at all. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03

I call it aerodynamic. Yeah, okay, fucking uh swimmer guy. Nope. What was his name? I forgot his fucking name.

SPEAKER_01

I don't stink when I sweat. I shower a lot.

SPEAKER_04

You don't use deodorant? I do. I thought you're one of those non-deodorant using people.

SPEAKER_01

No, fuck that. That's disgusting.

SPEAKER_04

I used to talk to some girl that said she didn't use deodorant. Disgusting. I stopped talking to her. I stopped talking to her.

SPEAKER_03

Dude, there's people at the gym, these this couple of deodorant.

SPEAKER_01

She only had a giant bush under her arms.

SPEAKER_03

This couple at the gym, they fucking smell, dude. Smell. Yeah. They don't use fucking deodorants.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. That's were the Indian?

SPEAKER_03

No. No. I think the Indian thing is curry.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. They smell like curry. I think that's food. The Arpit smell like curry. People smell.

SPEAKER_03

I think they're from the UK. Okay. They smell like shit. Like they don't use anything. Yeah, or natural shit.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know why that's a thing. Or just no deodorant is a thing.

SPEAKER_03

There's a few people that do that shit. I think it's like it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_01

I went a while where I didn't use deodorant. But listen to me. But I also shower like three, four times a day. You do that now? Now I shower two times a day. Two times.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Sheesh. Shower. On my day off. On my day off. Am I day off?

SPEAKER_01

Time to shower.

SPEAKER_03

I gotta shower tonight because I put fucking.

SPEAKER_01

My skin is oily, dude. I can't fucking do that.

SPEAKER_03

I can't just shower. So you leave like sweat marks, but they're all oil on your fucking oil spots on a mattress.

SPEAKER_01

No, like my forehead is fucking oily and like my fucking arm. Like even my arms. Follow the grip. Like if I'm at work, if I'm at work on a double, yeah, and like you fucking see me at like three in the fucking afternoon, my forearms are like shit.

SPEAKER_03

If you rest your head against the window, is there oil spots?

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

Ah no. Yes. You'd be a good person to get arrested.

SPEAKER_03

Why? Your DNA we everywhere. Oh yeah. It's dripping everywhere. Yeah. That's cool. You're also So is he like really slippery? When you guys are doing a nasty, is he like really slippery?

SPEAKER_01

I'm sure I am, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

You know those little like filled up sure I am. Rubber things, they squish. Yeah. Is he like one of those?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Slipping and sliding everyone.

SPEAKER_03

Oily too, but not maybe not like you.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I'm usually like really like oily. Like right now, I'm not.

SPEAKER_03

My shit's oily as fuck right now.

SPEAKER_04

It'd be hard to get a hold of BJJ.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. It might have met my my mats. Are you good at that? Can't get my hands on you. You good at fucking you ever get your ass kicked? It happens.

SPEAKER_01

Didn't you get beat up by like a five-year-old?

SPEAKER_04

No, that was a my first ever day, which is what made me want to keep training. My first ever day training PJJ. Yep. Brazilian jujitsu. Yep. Not blowjobs, not training blowjobs. Just to be clear. I just wanted to train on kind of before I go to Thailand. Had a suck and dry. Just to be clear. Yeah, it was like a fucking 14-year-old kid. He just That's crazy.

SPEAKER_03

Manhattan. He's probably fucking been training for 10 years.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, he was training his whole life, but he fucking manheld me. And I was like, yeah, I can't let this happen again.

SPEAKER_03

Obviously he wasn't throwing you around, but like he was No, he was.

SPEAKER_04

Really? Yeah, he was just like, because it's not it's about weight distribution. It's not about strength too much.

SPEAKER_03

So as you're going at him, he's just fucking moving you around. I want to do that shit, but I was scared to get my ass kicked. I was like, fuck this shit. I saw them doing their fucking thing. I was like, fuck that. I asked the guy, I said, what if I hurt my shoulder or my back? He's like, yeah, you're fucked.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. But I don't I I competed for a while, but I don't compete anymore because you're you're injury prone, you know? Yeah, you get more. It's like I'm you I'm doing this to increase my health, not yeah, you know, make my health worse.

SPEAKER_03

Actually very good for uh So I did it for like a year for work. Very good for work. Oh my god. I would do like little training. You know what I mean? But you know, like show me the fucking base. I'm sure there's the basics where if you got into a street fight, if you know these basic fucking things and you're decent at them, you're gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_01

Everything goes out the window when you get in a real fight.

SPEAKER_03

No, it doesn't. Yes, it does. Well, Mike Tyson. I'm telling him no.

SPEAKER_01

I'm telling you, I'm telling you, once you fuck at least in the police world they teach you all this bullshit.

SPEAKER_03

My training and experience of multiple years and multiple fights and my age, it don't go out the window. It does. No, it doesn't. It does.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe for you fucking throw out the fisticuffs and you're fighting until you get to the ground. No, and then ten people dogpile this motherfucker, and that's it. That's where it ends. There's no fucking 10-minute fight. Oh no, there's not that.

SPEAKER_03

Nope. If you panic, you'll forget everything. If you don't panic, you're fine.

SPEAKER_01

I guess.

SPEAKER_03

I'm telling you, I don't. I get nervous.

SPEAKER_01

Albert Einstein over here.

SPEAKER_03

It doesn't have to be Albert Einstein.

SPEAKER_04

More like uh what I say, what I will say is it's just build your overall confidence. That's it. So you're just it just builds at at the most, it builds confidence so that you know that if you're in that situation, you're gonna be. It's fine. Yeah, yeah. No, I get nervous you, you know, unless you're oily like you, and I can't get my slip out of there. Yeah, you're just gonna slip out of.

SPEAKER_01

Going back to the whole idiocracy movie, like that's it.

SPEAKER_04

Alright, that was a good episode of not surprised. Alright, go back to your idiocracy, let's see.

SPEAKER_01

It wasn't about being a good movie, it was about like how stupid people are now and how we're getting stupider. And it goes back to him, you know, he knows how to sign in fucking cursive, but or write in cursive, but most people don't.

SPEAKER_04

Proof's right there. But I wrote Cafish twice.

SPEAKER_03

The first time I spelled, like a fucking D plus in that shit.

SPEAKER_01

But you see, at least you're cast. Retarded and Cafish, both wrong.

SPEAKER_04

But but it's good cursive. The letters are right. You know, I was looking up. Because I can't spell.

SPEAKER_01

I was looking up the literacy rate in the US. You know that. Spell crunch.

SPEAKER_04

What is that?

SPEAKER_01

You know that.

SPEAKER_04

Now you're just showing off.

SPEAKER_01

Like 50, 55% of the people. Oh, you're left-handed? You're retarded. Automatically retarded.

SPEAKER_04

So two of us are confirmed to be retarded. Are you left-handed? Me, you, and his sister are all retarded. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03

Are you left-handed?

SPEAKER_01

I didn't know you were left-handed.

SPEAKER_03

No, I'm right-handed. Oh, left-handed and fucking very smart people. No. Okay. That's a fucking myth. You can't argue with a fucking retard. That's how smart I am. I already know not to argue with you.

SPEAKER_01

I won't even argue. He spelled retarded wrong, first of all.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, so I'm I can't spell for shit. I'm not I'm not in a good place to come. It takes one to know one, so I know you're retarded because I'm retarded. Welcome to the club.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Glad to have you.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, I appreciate it. See, I'm so smart that I just say, okay. Next, please. But I don't know if you're talking about it. Alright, tell me about your fucking movie. How you're gonna try to make it seem like they have a message.

SPEAKER_01

It's not even a message, is that I fucking learned that from Idiot that he was also retarded by watching the 60% of the fucking US is below sixth grade level literacy.

SPEAKER_03

I believe it. It's crazy. I believe it. Yeah. Because they baby these fucking kids and they don't learn.

SPEAKER_01

They're on the phone all the time. They think they know what the fuck they're talking about. But then all these people are the ones that are gonna vote where the country goes left or right.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because they're fucking dumb and they then they get brainwashed by the what's that fucking dude in New York? Abu Dhabi. Abu Dhabi, yeah. No, that's not a name of a name of a place.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it's this guy.

SPEAKER_01

We have him on the podcast right now. You know what I'm talking about? This guy?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, what do you need? Yo, that dude. I'm gonna help you.

SPEAKER_03

He's retarded, retarded. That dude's crazy. Yes. And somebody said that there's a certain type of Muslim uh like section of whatever, yeah, that what they do is they're allowed to lie to manipulate people into becoming Muslims.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

So all the shit he's doing. So what he'll do is like he'll he'll do the gay pride stuff, he'll do all the things that Muslim stuff don't do.

SPEAKER_01

To get them to join his team.

SPEAKER_03

But then he'll go and do prayer at the mosque or whatever. Yep. So they're saying it's either he's fucking faking the Muslim thing or he's this certain type of Muslim to like recruit people.

SPEAKER_01

Fucking assemblyman Zoran Mamdani. Yeah, that dude's fucking. Who won the Democratic mayoral primary in New York City? Mamdani defeated former governor Andrew M. Cuomo. He's another dumb fucking. Um, and I guess he's uh put out a bunch of populist ideas and a bunch of dumb fucking ideas saying that he's gonna defund uh the New York police department.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, how's that working out?

SPEAKER_01

He's still he's still doubling down. At first he was like, Oh, I never said that. Then it was like, oh, I'm gonna fucking you know, I don't think that way now. And but now he's saying that he's going to um he said something today that I that I was fucking reading into where it was like um the gang oh the gang fucking intelligent database or some shit. The gang database where they have all the repertoires of all the gang members that the New York police department has interacted with, they have a database saying this person's an XYZ gang, this person's an XYZ gang. They're gonna get rid of it.

SPEAKER_03

He said it's too broad that oh, since people stay out late or they do something or they live in the streets.

SPEAKER_01

Jumped into one single fucking database.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that's not true.

SPEAKER_04

When you when you make decisions like that, that's where fucking you seen that whole thing on the train station where the girl and the guy the guy with fucking wait the Korean girl.

SPEAKER_03

No, it's Ukrainian. Oh, I thought you said the um yeah, that dude had 14 fucking arrests. Yep. And then they're saying, oh, somebody started a GoFundMe page for that motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_03

Yep. That's fucking fucking GoFundMe for a fucking dude who's stabbed. But she didn't see the I can't watch it.

SPEAKER_01

I can't watch it.

SPEAKER_03

Did you watch it? I saw it.

SPEAKER_01

I I usually watch stuff like that, but the issue is like I ain't got remembering that shit. Yeah, like I already see no fucking shit on my fucking.

SPEAKER_04

I saw the video because I'm I'm crazy. I'm crazy fuck. I wanted to watch it and then I was like, uh, maybe some other time. It was the it wasn't even the the the act that got me. It was it was the aftermath.

SPEAKER_01

He just walked off.

SPEAKER_04

The aftermath, he walked away. Yes, and she's there. Her adrenaline was so high that she was like looking around. She didn't know she looked normal. Yes, yeah. She didn't even realize that. I saw that part. I saw the engine. She looks down and she's like, Oh shit, I'm gonna die. Yeah. Like, and then you can hear him saying, I got that white girl. Yep. As he's walking away. Like he literally just stabbed her because she's white.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like, I remember when I was a little kid, I was probably like four or five years old. My mom had taken me to McDonald's. That was a good fucking day in Manhattan. That was a good day. No, I was in Manhattan. Um, and out of nowhere, I remember my mom grabbing me and pulling me out of the McDonald's, and there was this like tall black dude with dreads beating the shit out of this like little Asian lady. No shit. And that will stay with me for the rest of my life. Damn it. It's crazy. I was like fucking four years old, dude.

SPEAKER_04

It's probably the same guy. That's probably one of his prior arrests.

SPEAKER_01

It's probably one of his prior arrests. It looks exactly like that guy, and I was like, I can't watch this shit. This dude had 14 arrests.

SPEAKER_03

They let him out every fucking time. Then they said, Oh, he had mental health issues, and this okay. Well then what did I say in the past? Lock those motherfuckers up. Just shoot this fucker. What? You can't do that. Hey, speaking of crazy. What's up? They need to lock him up because they're broken.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Yeah. No, they need no, honestly, if I was on the train, I probably would have shot him.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Oh, then you know what's gonna happen. Why'd you shoot him? He didn't have to shoot him. What are they gonna say?

SPEAKER_01

I'm a minority just like him. Are they gonna try me? Fucking, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03

That's uh I can't say his real name. I would introduce myself.

SPEAKER_01

BJ.

SPEAKER_04

My name's BJJ.

SPEAKER_03

Huh? Yeah, dude. I was cutting the grass. I cut the grass. I told you. Didn't I say I look like a chulo?

SPEAKER_04

He did say that when he walked in. Yeah. He said he's like, hold on, when I walked in, I'm like, oh I feel like you can't. I feel like I don't know. I feel a little offended, but oh yeah, because you're kind of Mexican. Kind of, yeah. Middle Age. I'm doing actual Did I fuck something up?

SPEAKER_03

What'd you fucking do?

SPEAKER_04

Oh no, you didn't do nothing.

SPEAKER_03

It's just uh computer.

SPEAKER_04

That's all right.

SPEAKER_03

Dude, did you see that uh Peace out Water write that down? Can you hear me a water? I say her name all the time by accident. On the pond? Yeah. Oh, you're in the fucking uh first name.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so everybody in the US is retarded. We know that. Yeah. So 79%.

SPEAKER_04

What are you looking at me for? What the fuck?

SPEAKER_01

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_04

Everybody in the US is retarded, we know that. She's like, Yeah, this motherfucker dumb as fuck. This guy's retarded. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Not wrong. 79% of Americans are illiterate. Which is crazy. We can say the word now, right? Definitely have. Trump is president, we can say we're going to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_03

We can also say what's the percentage can't be my first episode. I don't want to drop the percentage?

SPEAKER_04

I don't want to drop the F bomb, but we can say that now.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, part of the 79%. Me?

SPEAKER_03

You're in there too. You're with me.

SPEAKER_04

We are allies.

SPEAKER_03

We have allies. Together, we got one chromosome. We got one chromosome together.

SPEAKER_04

All three of us. Me, you, and his sister.

SPEAKER_03

Why'd you keep fucking talking shit by his sister? Damn. Did you ever meet her? No. I don't know who she is.

SPEAKER_04

She's fucking 16, dog. It's better to get help the sooner you know.

SPEAKER_01

Did you see the fucking French government is about to fucking collapse too?

SPEAKER_04

You should be joking on you. I got bombs on me. I'll fucking blow you up. Your house is also gonna be worth $0 soon.

SPEAKER_01

Did you saw did you see that the uh French government is about to collapse after the third prime minister fucking yep? No. His bomb's about to go off?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. What is wait, it's have I had the French prime minister do what?

SPEAKER_01

This is the third French prime minister to fucking quit in 12 months.

SPEAKER_03

Why? Hold on, it's that timeout.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, what? She's taking a shit already?

SPEAKER_03

She peed. She peed. Alright, go ahead. You can hear it.

SPEAKER_01

Why does he quit? Uh because they can't seem to pass any legislation that they want to pass in France because of this fucking guy. So I guess uh the parliament in France, it's a dual uh uh government. So they have a semi-president who's Macron, and then they have a prime minister. Right? So the prime minister does the legislation, the president does the like the overseas travel, the fucking I'm gonna shake hands with Trump or whatever, right? So they have uh they share responsibility. So this is a third prime minister. So Macron now has to pick a fourth prime minister who's basically a f president in twelve months.

SPEAKER_03

That's weird.

SPEAKER_04

That's crazy. They're all fucking corrupt.

SPEAKER_01

Because they can't seem to they can't seem to fucking uh pass any legislation to better their fucking country, because I don't know if you know about the French French are fucking the f the the French state itself, the country, is a fucking shithole now. With all the immigration. You go to Paris, it's a fucking shithole. Rome and Italy is fucking shit too. Yeah, they don't like uh they don't like Americans, right?

SPEAKER_04

But then their entire fucking most places don't. Right.

SPEAKER_01

But their entire country is a shithole. It's all filled with fucking like unfortunately immigrants, right? That are just shitting on the street, yeah, illegal. Illegal. Shitting on the street, fucking committing crimes, stabbing people, because that's what it's going on over there. There's so much uh like pickpocketing that goes on.

SPEAKER_04

I've heard I've seen that in Rome. Yeah. I just watched some uh some YouTuber. He's like breaking story, like a bunch of scammers in Rome. That's fine. Literally like people like they full time, they go like citizens.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Then the American gets in trouble.

SPEAKER_04

Yep. Yeah, we get in trouble, then we're detained for six months. Okay, I'll still stomp. If we're not a f if we're not a basket WNBA player, we're gonna get stuck.

SPEAKER_03

Where is it where they they monitor they monitor your internet and if you say shit North Korea? No, it's not even North Korea, I'm thinking of China. It's like UK or some bullshit or even Canada and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01

A lot of the co a lot of the countries outside of the US. Even Germany. Yeah. Any c a lot of countries that are democratic countries that are you know part of the US like alliance and all that, yeah, that don't have the First Amendment like in like we have here, though they don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_04

They can't, because they can.

SPEAKER_01

They can't, right? Because they can do whatever the fuck they want. Right.

SPEAKER_04

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01

And a lot of people in America are like, oh fuck America, we don't have the freedom. Yeah, go go overseas, go anywhere.

SPEAKER_04

They have so much fucking freedom that they can say that shit. Them complaining, them saying that stuff tells you that you have freedom.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, you'll get beheaded in fucking China if you say some shit like that.

SPEAKER_03

I was like, damn, what if we go to fucking Germany and they like you had this podcast? Can they use that against me?

SPEAKER_01

You had the fucking thing in Germany. Oh no, you were you were in uh you were in Europe, but still you had the fucking QR code. I didn't think about it this time. What? So he went to fest and uh he was wearing a sweater with the QR code. Um Digatron talking to the minibit.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I want like a like a red, like a like a see-through red one.

SPEAKER_01

He wants the fucking autism red. He wants a semen color.

SPEAKER_04

He wants the crayon.

SPEAKER_01

The cherry white is the best color. Not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_03

We don't have that color.

SPEAKER_04

What do you mean by that? The the clear white white the glacier white is the best color. Yeah, you're you in fucking Alaska, bro. Quit it.

SPEAKER_03

No, I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_04

You're talking about glaciers and shit. Relax.

SPEAKER_01

That's what it's called.

SPEAKER_04

You love Alaska, we know.

SPEAKER_03

You want to go there. He loves Alaska. There's a glacier.

SPEAKER_01

So Frank, you got a treadmill, right? Are you gonna get a rowing? Do you have a rower?

SPEAKER_03

Yes, I have the uh concept two rower that I use.

SPEAKER_01

I used to work for Concept. Did you really? I did, I was a contractor for them.

SPEAKER_03

What would you do? Like what would a contractor do? Uh like set up a machine.

SPEAKER_01

I work for a German company who we who's based here obviously in the US. And we bought I brought them all their pieces to assemble the Concept 2, like rower and the fucking they got like 13 fucking machines that they build. So they got a skier. The skier, which is that's a fucking good one.

SPEAKER_03

I used the skier when we were in Vegas, and I was doing so good at it that the chick tried to move it up like to make the harder. Make it harder. Oh boom. In your fish. Like, wow, you're strong for your size. Damn, bitch. We're the same height.

SPEAKER_01

No, that's funny though.

SPEAKER_03

It was that F4 place or whatever it was. It's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Oh, uh that's that thing's blowing up. That's like everywhere now.

SPEAKER_03

There's one in West Hartford.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, there's one in Southington.

SPEAKER_03

It was alright though. Is it? She was trying to tell me I do kettlebell swings. And the way she would do it, you would hinge at your hips. Which is a boss. Nope. Keep your elbows to your side, right? That's how she was showing me. Yeah. And then lift with your forearm while you're hinging your bullets. What does she know, right?

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_03

So she told me that shit.

SPEAKER_01

So that's the proper way to do it. Listen, listen for me. I'll tell you now. But stand by real quick. It's a proper way to do it, but it's not, it doesn't build maximum efficiency.

SPEAKER_03

That's not the proper way to do it. I'm going to tell you why. Go ahead. From my experience with doing this shit.

SPEAKER_01

It doesn't build muscle, but it is how you call it.

SPEAKER_03

It doesn't injure your fucking back. So she's like, you have to do it this way. I said, absolutely not. Sure. I was like, nope. I said, and I told her, I said, when you do it that way, you're going to hurt your lower back. Then unless you want to work your forearm.

SPEAKER_01

That's why you don't go up to the fucking high weight. No. You fucking.

SPEAKER_03

What she was doing was full of fucking shit. Those people that fucking teach that shit. They're all little fucking kids. Do I know how to do fucking kettlebell swings? Yeah. I know what the fuck I'm doing. No, I don't think you do. She was like this. Right? So then I go to my cousin, everybody that was with us, it was like, yo, is your back hurt? Yeah. Yeah, it does a little bit. Yeah, because you're doing it wrong.

SPEAKER_01

You're fucking bitching up and fucking working it out. No. There's another one on the beef.

SPEAKER_03

If your back hurts when you're doing a workout, if your back hurt, you're too heavy.

SPEAKER_01

You're going too heavy.

SPEAKER_03

No, you're doing it wrong.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

If you feel any type of pain in a certain way. So let's say you're doing a deadlift and you feel the lower, you feel your lower back's tight, sure. You're lifting your your bottom, your top half faster than your legs are. So you're using more of your back. You shouldn't be doing that. Everything should be, you should feel some stress in your legs, in your back a little bit, but not your lower back.

SPEAKER_01

Mostly lats and lower back.

SPEAKER_03

If you feel your lower back is getting tight, really, you're doing too heavy. You're doing no dude.

SPEAKER_01

I've trained hundreds of people. I was a fitting. I was a personal trainer. That's fine. Yes. I'm wearing my fucking personal trainer pants right now. I was waiting for him to put that on the screen. Are you wearing personal trainer underwear? No. I personally trained at fucking F4. No, no, I'm not trained at F4. I trained. Never mind. I'm not going to say we're nonetheless.

SPEAKER_04

We did every fucking job. Yeah. That kettlebell swing and long. It's probably you that fucking stole that girl's kidney and fucking dirty.

SPEAKER_03

That kettlebell swing that she was teaching is totally wrong. No. And I'll go against you all day about that.

SPEAKER_01

Listen, I'm not saying that that's how you should do it, but that's how it was intended to. That doesn't mean that that's how it is. What are you trying to do with that then? You're supposed to be hinging at the hip when you're doing a kettlebell swing. Okay. And you're supposed to be using your arms don't go up here. They do go up here. Yes. I'm telling you. Okay. Go ahead. So what do you think? How many people have you fucking trained, Frank? Nobody. Exactly. I've trained thousands of people.

SPEAKER_04

You train that fucking girl that was trying to tell them how to do shit. Damn right.

SPEAKER_03

Watch any fucking. Okay, we'll do this. The correct way to do a kettlebell swing. Watch any either CrossFit competition.

SPEAKER_01

The fact that you're even bringing up CrossFit right there, you're eliminated. No. CrossFit doesn't know what the fuck they're doing. Yeah, that's full of shit. No, it's not. Yeah, yes. Absolutely not. CrossFit is the worst fucking exercise that you can do.

SPEAKER_03

Like what parts are bad? What's the bad parts?

SPEAKER_01

Literally anything of CrossFit is wrong. Yes. Absolutely not. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

CrossFit. Okay. CrossFit is bad. Because he does CrossFit. Not because he's right. I don't do CrossFit anymore. I actually do.

SPEAKER_01

You go to a CrossFit gym.

SPEAKER_03

No, it's not a CrossFit gym anymore. But we do CrossFit exercises. But it's not. Point proven. No, it's not. It's not. I usually go to actual CrossFit. Are you also on Ben?

SPEAKER_04

Are you also on binge?

SPEAKER_03

What's binge? The bisexual dating website? Yes, I am. That's I saw your fucking picture on there. I've masked it. So what I do is I look at some picture. I look at your picture, I plump up a little bit, I get the fucking balls filled up, and then I go work out. You can't release. Yeah, kidneys.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could not release either when I was a catfish.

SPEAKER_01

CrossFit has produced more injuries in the fitness community than any other sporting uh um activity.

SPEAKER_04

A bunch of people that think they know what they're doing.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that's a problem. You're right. Overcap. It's correct.

SPEAKER_01

They go too heavy, they do too much, they go too long.

SPEAKER_03

That's what I just said. That's what you just said.

SPEAKER_04

So a bunch of people that think they know what they're doing.

SPEAKER_03

Yep.

unknown

Well

SPEAKER_01

That that goes to the trainers aspect though.

SPEAKER_03

I agree when they do some of those Olympic Olympic lifting in an exercise, it's not made for that.

SPEAKER_01

Period. It's any lifts that they do. They always go as as high as intense as possible, which you cannot.

SPEAKER_03

I don't agree with the Olympic lifts.

SPEAKER_01

It's mostly Olympic lifts. And then repetitions that you do.

SPEAKER_03

Well, the repetitive Olympic lifts, I don't agree with that shit. And if you're gonna do it, so let's say you're cleaning the city.

SPEAKER_01

What value do you get of doing a clean? No, what value do you get of going doing 200 fucking wall balls uh times 15? That's let's just say let's just say they're doing 200 wall balls, right? And you gotta fucking rotate through the city.

SPEAKER_03

You're doing endurance, you're doing cardio, you're doing none of that.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah, you're doing you could get more much more benefit from doing something else. Yes. No way. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

I don't agree. Okay. I think someone's wrong.

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know who.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

I I don't agree.

SPEAKER_01

That's fine. You don't have to agree. I have the results to prove it. You don't have to be what results? Where?

SPEAKER_02

What do you mean where? What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01

How many people I've trained and got and gotten.

SPEAKER_02

That's what where are they?

SPEAKER_01

What do you mean where?

SPEAKER_02

Where are they?

SPEAKER_03

Show me the results.

SPEAKER_02

Me.

SPEAKER_01

I I'm not I'm what do you mean? The people you train. We have to have real life people.

SPEAKER_04

Real life people? What about the 50% of the people?

SPEAKER_01

So what would you what would your what would your workout be?

SPEAKER_03

What would your workout be? Like if you had a workout plan, somebody that's like, I want to lose weight, I want to build some muscle.

SPEAKER_01

Well, you'd have to establish their baseline, you'd have to establish what medical they have.

SPEAKER_03

You've established all that stuff to a normal, regular person. Sure. What would your workout plan be? I'm not gonna make fun of you. I just want to see if it's something I would do.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but you the so you and I have have I'm serious. I'll do regular workouts. So if you look at what you normally do, which is what we've talked about before, right? It mostly consists of CrossFit high, high reps, high, high endurance exercise, right?

SPEAKER_03

But hold on real quick, real quick for this. The new owner of this place. Sure. So let's say we'll do like I'm saying what you normally do.

SPEAKER_01

No, I'll tell you what we know.

SPEAKER_03

The new guy, well, it's been a over a year, he'll do more strength training. Right. And then every once in a while we'll do the like a CrossFit fucking thing, like on a Wednesday, we'll do something high endurance or whatever, but it's mostly like strength training based. Yeah. So there we go.

SPEAKER_01

So at least so in the military, right? Being a master fitness trainer, you're focusing more on the how they perform the exercise, right? And not going for weight. You're going for weight long term. So like if you want to go for a PR or whatever, that's fine. But I'm not making you do an uh overhead press with 200 pounds. No fucking way, yeah. So I'm so we're doing we're more on focusing on uh how you actually perform the exercise, right? And long-term long-term uh progression. So that later. You're not doing you're not doing wall ball, you're not doing 500 fucking wall balls and fucking blowing out your fucking hamstrings and your quads and then having you run two miles after.

SPEAKER_03

So somebody that's new that goes to the gym, yeah, they're not gonna do that. The person's gonna watch them and make sure that. So let's say, Frank, you're gonna do 500. Because you could do 500, we'll say.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Samantha.

SPEAKER_01

Sure.

SPEAKER_03

You're gonna do sets of five or sets of ten, learn everything, get those muscles going.

SPEAKER_01

You're not just gonna jump in there and do five or five. But long term, it's still not.

SPEAKER_03

But eventually you're gonna be doing for a while where it's like 10 or 20 is gonna be fucking bullshit. And you're gonna have to do a fucking 100.

SPEAKER_01

Sure. But but does that progress you fitness-wise? Yes. No. 100% of that. No, you're putting more uh a lot of these exercises that they do at CrossFit Gyms put more pressure on your joints, and which is a lot of people make fun of the CrossFit gyms because of the shitty fucking form when they do their fucking pullings. I can do strict pull-ups. That's fine. You you can do that. Yes. But what the CrossFit community is pushing is not efficiency. It's not efficiency and it's not longevity. Well, actually, can you do a hundred kipping pull-ups? Okay, it doesn't matter how you do them, you just gotta do them.

SPEAKER_03

That's not beneficial. Yes and no. Because there it's for efficiency, you said. It's more efficient to do a kipping pull-up than it is a strict pull-up.

SPEAKER_01

Efficiency when it comes to the longevity on your fucking shoulders. It's the one that's like you're kind of using your body. No, that's a like the butterfly shoe. No, that's a different one.

SPEAKER_03

Kipping is you're using like your abs in your hips. Who is that? You're using your abs in your hips to try to get your chin over the bar. I think that's uh little bit.

SPEAKER_04

A little bit.

SPEAKER_03

He killed the phone. I turned the TV on. Anyway, I think uh we did reach our we should say goodbye before he gets here and end it real quick.

SPEAKER_04

Fuck him. I'm taking his spot.

unknown

Come on.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, guys. I've uh proven him wrong. Debate won. He got owned. I have proven him wrong, and uh Charlie Mike is officially also retarded. Yeah, welcome to the club. So I thank everybody for uh listening. Alright, take care of you. Alright, guys. We will continue this fucking workout.

SPEAKER_01

That's fine.

SPEAKER_03

We should have a workout episode.

SPEAKER_01

That's fine. You're gonna fail.

SPEAKER_03

You're gonna actually work out on the episode.

SPEAKER_01

Frank would kick my ass. No. Yeah. I I think we proved it last time that we did a fitness test. You have to understand too, Frank does the workout shit more than I used to. I kinda said fuck it, and I kind of just stayed at home.

SPEAKER_03

If you know what you're doing, then show me what the fuck to do. I didn't know you had all the fucking magical powers. I'm out of here. Later.