Not Surprised MEDIA
Comedy and current events.
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Not Surprised MEDIA
LOOK AT MY "D" #116
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Join Alexa and Frank Nasty as they discuss the world's problems which include Alexa's sleep study, her dating issues, Hartford's mayor and some other stuff! Enjoy!
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New show every week!! Bonus shows will be posted every now and then as we expand. Sit back and enjoy. Email us anytime.
Welcome to the start of perfect leap minute though.
SPEAKER_12Alright.
SPEAKER_05This is your host right there. With the Alexa. I don't think so because I am not a medical facility. And you told the last person to tell that you're Darth Vader at night.
SPEAKER_09Okay.
SPEAKER_05Your new name is Top Gun. We'll call you Goose. Yo Maverick! Yo Maverick! That sucks.
SPEAKER_09Damn. Alright. All I said is I'm just gonna go get the machines so they can do a sleep test on me.
SPEAKER_05Do you know what? If I had sleep apnea, I would have all the coolest fucking sleep apnea gear. I'd have it would make it look like that no that thing that you're gonna put over your nose or whatever. The fighter pilot, I would make it look like goose and maverick. I cannot. I'd write, oh yeah. Top gun dude all day. And then I'd have one for like Halloween, where you could put little teeth on it, you could paint it.
SPEAKER_09I cannot. I would yeah, I would do that. That I would do. I would do that, and I would wait for my kids. Like I wouldn't tell my kids that I got the machine.
SPEAKER_05Do you know what those things look like?
SPEAKER_09Yes, I've seen them. My my grandma has it. That is the least sexiest thing in the world.
SPEAKER_05And you're starting the dating world again. I wanted to whisper that.
SPEAKER_09Well, you know.
SPEAKER_05Damn, dude, you're fucked. Damn, you're fucked.
SPEAKER_09The adventurer. The adventurer waits.
SPEAKER_08That's what you're that's what it's gonna sound like.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_08All right.
SPEAKER_05You guys are like, oh, that was so great.
SPEAKER_09Like, yeah, I gotta put this on now.
SPEAKER_05Such a great time. Oh, yeah, that was great.
SPEAKER_09Oh no, I gotta put on my mask. I can't breathe. So you gotta travel with that thing. Well, it's well, okay, they're gonna do a sleep study, and if they find that I do have sleep apnea, then they tell me, like, okay, these are the different devices you can choose from. Okay, stop laughing at me.
SPEAKER_05Fucking devices.
SPEAKER_09All right, you know what?
SPEAKER_05They could try and have sleep apnea. Because she'll be fucking sleeping and she'll go, uh yeah. I gotta hit her sometimes to get her to breathe again.
SPEAKER_09Do you want me to give her the machine that they're gonna give me? No, no, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_05She'll be fine. So what she doesn't mean. So what she gets a fucking restless sleep.
SPEAKER_09She's tired all the time, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_05She was like a motherfucker.
SPEAKER_09She snores.
SPEAKER_05No, if she needed a machine, I would get her the machine.
SPEAKER_09It sounds like she needs a machine.
SPEAKER_05I I told her she should go. Yeah. We'll get it checked out.
SPEAKER_09Did I I'm picking up the machine tomorrow, then I study at home. Okay, all right. All right.
SPEAKER_05You have to pick up the machine. Which machine? The the breathing thing?
SPEAKER_09I don't know. It's something they're gonna show me whatever it is tomorrow.
SPEAKER_05No, they're not gonna give you that.
SPEAKER_09They gotta give you like uh test out to the test.
SPEAKER_05Oh, you're gonna fuck that up, dude.
SPEAKER_09100%.
SPEAKER_05You can't fucking you don't know what you're doing with that. I wouldn't know what I'm doing. I'm like, don't you have the little room I could sleep in? And which I wouldn't be able to sleep in there either.
SPEAKER_09Which I asked for. I said I would rather do this in the lab, but you know insurance.
SPEAKER_05I'd have to do real world sleeping. So I'd have to be hammered, stumble into bed, and that's a real world fucking frag nasty nighttime fucking. Okay, we may have it's not every night, but on the weekends, yeah.
SPEAKER_09I'm gonna have to I don't know what I'm gonna have to take like three Benadryls.
SPEAKER_05You can't, because it's gotta be natural. You can't take any of that shit. They gotta make sure that you're like the fuck are you doing?
SPEAKER_09That's how you sleep, probably. Um no.
SPEAKER_05I bet you your daughters would say different.
SPEAKER_09Um you snore a lot. No, because I've asked my daughters. I was like, do I snore? And they said no.
SPEAKER_05They're probably deep sleepers.
SPEAKER_09No, they're not. They they're almost like zombies. They don't sleep. Let's see. How much is a sleep at your machine?
SPEAKER_05Damn. So when you go to like a resort and let's say you meet like a uh bro.
SPEAKER_02Here we go.
SPEAKER_05Like a dude. And then he's gonna go in your room and just see your machines in on the fucking shitty fucking machine on the nightstand.
SPEAKER_09Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05That's gonna suck, yeah.
SPEAKER_09No.
SPEAKER_05So what are you gonna do?
SPEAKER_09I'm just gonna die in my sleep. I'm just I mean, I'm already dying. What's the difference between now and then?
SPEAKER_05You tell you to your doctor buddy, listen, I'm going to a fucking resort, going to Puerto Rico, Bad Bunny concert. Oh, I might meet some some dudes there. Can I not bring this fucking thing?
SPEAKER_08Never happens.
SPEAKER_05Or you just gotta keep it in another room and have like the the smash room without the smash room without your fucking uh sleep apnea machine. Oh and then when you guys are done, you just kick them out.
SPEAKER_09You know, I I like this life that you have curated about me in your mind. Like you're some kind of fucking I'm like, oh that sounds like a like a the wildest life because when I go on vacation, the spare room is my kids' room.
SPEAKER_05No, like you should always have a smash room so that your sleep apnea room uh machine isn't seen.
SPEAKER_08I'm like, uh-huh. Where do my kids sleep?
SPEAKER_05They don't, they go somewhere else.
SPEAKER_08Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_05All right, let's see what they got here. Oh, that's you all day. $600? Fuck that. Right. No, I'd get a fucking dope one with a TV on it.
unknownWhat the fuck?
SPEAKER_05Let's see what this one is. That's you. Oh, that sucks.
SPEAKER_09So they have these things, and but then they also have another, like they have some little thing that goes in your mouth.
SPEAKER_05Fuck that in your mouth. You gonna sleep with that thing?
SPEAKER_09Well, it's almost it's supposed to be like the what the hell, the people that do their braces.
SPEAKER_05That are about to die?
SPEAKER_09Oh what the fuck?
SPEAKER_05Uh I was thinking of the uh medics when they put that thing in there. Hold on, I just saw that. This thing.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You put that ain't gonna work. Almost like a mouth guard.
SPEAKER_05And what does it do?
SPEAKER_09Because it it's supposed to open up your mouth so that it opens up the back, and then you can you can breathe. I don't fucking know. You know what I'm not? A doctor.
SPEAKER_05Doctor! I'm not oral.
SPEAKER_09My name is not Dr.
SPEAKER_05Alexa, Doctor Alexa.
SPEAKER_09You know, I have to speak French on the phone this week.
SPEAKER_05You don't even speak French.
SPEAKER_09Exactly.
SPEAKER_05So what'd you say?
SPEAKER_09This lady called in and she just started right away. Bonjour. And I was like, oh.
SPEAKER_05And she'll be like, see?
SPEAKER_09No, see, no, no. The four years of French that I took in high school kicked in real quick. And I was So what'd you say?
SPEAKER_05Go ahead.
SPEAKER_09No, I'm gonna sound so crazy.
SPEAKER_05No shit. No, would you okay? So she's like, bonjour.
SPEAKER_09And I, yo, I freaked out because I was like, uh, I was like, wait, I got this. I was like, um, bonjour. Uh je ne parle français. Vous parlez?
SPEAKER_05Oh, look at you. Would you fucking bilingual and shit, motherfucker?
SPEAKER_09Trilingual.
SPEAKER_05Trilingual, motherfucker. Yeah, you tried French, motherfucker. It didn't work. Trilingual motherfucker. And then what did you and then what?
SPEAKER_09Well, I told her, so what I said to her was like, hey, I don't speak French. Do you speak English? She was like, no. I was like, uh.
SPEAKER_05How did you say you're fucked in French?
SPEAKER_09No, I told her.
SPEAKER_05You're fucked.
SPEAKER_09I was like, um mama. Like, wait a minute.
SPEAKER_05And then what'd you do? And then I got a translator. Uh Uma Ma.
SPEAKER_09Oomma. I think I think that's how you say it. And if it's not, she's like, she, I don't know, she said a couple things. I didn't understand her. I'm sure she did. Damn. I'm sure she did.
SPEAKER_05Pale vous fanse. Umama.
SPEAKER_09Um mama, um petsipa.
SPEAKER_05What I like. Um petit pu what I like to do when people start speaking Spanish to me at work.
SPEAKER_09You say C.
SPEAKER_05Yep, I say C, yeah. I shake my head and I'm like, ah, I'm just fucking with you. I have no idea. Then they speak English, oh, you're a fucking asshole.
SPEAKER_09Nah, you're the asshole. Or they'll be like the whole time.
SPEAKER_05Oh, they'll come to the the desk and they'll be like, uh you speak Spanish? I'm like, no, how can I help you? All right, well, I need the records division.
SPEAKER_09For what? What was that for? Why are we doing this?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. But I always do that. I'm like, no, how can I help you? Because they're asking me if I speak, and I'm saying, no, how can I help you? Yeah. Just answer the question. And probably 50-50, they're like, well, I need to go here, I need to go there. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_09Yes, because a lot of the time.
SPEAKER_05Why do you guys do that?
SPEAKER_09Okay, well, we, I guess. All right. Yeah, it's you.
SPEAKER_05So we as a people.
SPEAKER_09Because I think that there is a comfort level. Yes. And I think an expectation that our people will help each other out.
SPEAKER_05Oh, so it's a scam.
SPEAKER_09100%. It is a scam. It's a way to skip the line.
SPEAKER_05Well, there was one, there was one girl, probably about my age or whatever. And she's like, you know, I speak Spanish. I was like, no. So my English is not too good. I'm embarrassed. I said, you know what? Try it out. And if it's really bad, I'll send you up there. Yeah. But just give it a try. Why not? It's the best time to practice. It wasn't an emergency or anything.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Then she's like, she had to go to records and get it. I said, see how good you did? You just gotta do it more and you're gonna be fine.
SPEAKER_09You'll be fine. Yeah. You'll be fine.
SPEAKER_05She's like, oh okay.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, and they a lot of the times, like, my people.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, your people.
SPEAKER_09My people, we do speak it. I mean, we speak it pretty broken when we do speak it, but we can get by.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you can get by.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. But again, we just try to skip the line.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09You know?
SPEAKER_05All the time. You speak Spanish? Nope. How can I help you?
SPEAKER_09Oh my god. Every time when I say when I say my real name, when I say my real name at work, the moment they hear it, they're like, oh, you Piki Pani? And I'm like, ah, see. And they start going. I'm like, uh, damn it.
SPEAKER_05I'm like, I wish I didn't have to say my name because they wouldn't just automatically So just see say like a hyphenated version, not hyphenated, like uh abbreviated version. I said hyphenated. Abbreviated version of it. Don't say now.
SPEAKER_09What what would that be? Think about that. Just think about think about what my name is, and then think about what it would be.
SPEAKER_05Stand by people.
SPEAKER_09No, don't say it. We say our last name.
SPEAKER_04I don't know what the fuck to say.
SPEAKER_05Don't say the last name.
SPEAKER_09Right.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, well, you're fucked.
SPEAKER_09I know. I'm aware.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Let's see. Ah, I wanna see. What do I have in the notes? Shitty kid names. Nah.
SPEAKER_09I think you should go through Charlie's.
SPEAKER_05No, he's got crazy shit.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, let's go through his.
SPEAKER_05Eugene Hur Hirsch?
SPEAKER_09Since he doesn't want to be here.
SPEAKER_05No, he's got work.
SPEAKER_09Sure, sure.
SPEAKER_05He's got work and other stuff. Canadian wildfires. Boring.
SPEAKER_09Didn't that already happen?
SPEAKER_05Well, this shit might be old.
SPEAKER_09That's how long it's been.
SPEAKER_04Some of the shit is old. Let me go to mine. Oh. You know what?
SPEAKER_05I want to see if this plays. And I want to get your take on this shit. I feel like you still so lower.
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna watch this. I'm gonna zoom.
SPEAKER_05I can't fucking zoom in with this. Why not?
SPEAKER_08I don't know.
SPEAKER_05It won't.
SPEAKER_08Okay.
SPEAKER_05Okay. So I want to play something. And we'll see if it we'll see if it plays.
SPEAKER_09Oh, I'm so stupid. I have my phone in front of me. I shouldn't look at the list.
SPEAKER_05Thomas! Let me see if this plays. Please play, please. Oh hold on. I don't think it'll be on there. I think I might have to take it off of this to see it. It's has to do with the Hartford mayor.
SPEAKER_09What is he doing now to piss people off? He's a fucking turd.
SPEAKER_05Can't stand that fucking dude. He plays both sides of the fucking fence, I'll tell you that. With the cops.
SPEAKER_09And I didn't like what he did with the fire department. So.
SPEAKER_05We can talk about that in a second. Let's see if this. Okay, you ready?
SPEAKER_09Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Play.
SPEAKER_00New program that allow you to use a Section 8 voucher to pay for a mortgage. Because I don't believe that the federal housing assistance should just be a safety net. It should be a ladder of opportunity for all of our residents. We're standing here in Frog Hollow, which is my neighborhood, where 93% of my neighbors are renters. And my message to Hartford is you don't have to pay for somebody else's mortgage when you can use Section 8 vouchers to pay for your own. We're including in this program Wraparound Services a savings plan that will allow for you to build savings along the way, which will be matched by Liberty Bank and the Connecticut Project. And homeownership counseling and credit counseling coming from mutual housing. It is a holistic approach that allows folks go from Section 8 voucher holders and renters to homeowners that build generational wealth here in the city of Hartford.
SPEAKER_05That's gotta be the dumbest fucking thing I ever heard in my life. Stupid motherfucker with his fucking anus eyes. He's got anus eyes.
SPEAKER_09But does he know that Section 8 already offers a program for Section 8 holders to give them the pathway to home ownership?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. But even so I so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna fucking quit my job, right?
SPEAKER_13Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_05And then just go on public assistance, have the government buy me a house. That's pretty much what it is. That's what he's saying.
SPEAKER_09Because he wants to do it where they're using actual section eight to pay for a mortgage rather than using the program to help you get the road work done to then qualify and purchase a home on your own without then having to remain on section eight.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_09Because that's what it does now.
SPEAKER_05He's such a fucking retard, this guy. I can't stand him.
SPEAKER_09He wants to do that, but he doesn't want to help his first responders.
SPEAKER_05No, not at all. Nope. So he's like, oh well, we're gonna you're gonna you can save your fucking public assistance and then the bank is gonna match match it. Hey, I got fucking I got uh IRAs and all this bullshit. I'm putting money in. I'm put I'm adding more money than Section 8 people, nobody's matching my fucking shit.
SPEAKER_09But like also, like just there's so many other things that can What a fucking idiot. If they can't afford here's my thing. If you are on Section Eight right now, chances are you're not gonna be able to afford all the things that come with a home. Maintenance.
SPEAKER_05Right, like phone bills, electric bills, water bills, right? Insurance.
SPEAKER_09You're setting you're setting them up for failure.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09So why would you do that?
SPEAKER_05And the government will own the home anyway. It's almost like a socialism thing.
SPEAKER_09But yeah, like like don't socialist. Like, don't do that. There's already there's already so many programs that are offered to purchase a home.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_09First-time home buyers, Connecticut in particular, has uh the time to own, like they'll give you tons of money if you move to certain towns. Like, no, yeah, that's the wrong thing.
SPEAKER_05In my opinion, fucking asshole. Yeah, no.
SPEAKER_09He could put that money towards other things. Like Hartford needs so much help in their school districts, sir. Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_05You know what I do? So anytime, ever since I saw his stupid fucking Miami, did you see that shit? No, Hartford's a new Miami. Where the fuck? And he's on a fucking a shitty ass dinghy boat with a fucking life vest. I'll play the video. And he's got Welcome to Miami. He's like, Oh, it's a new Miami.
SPEAKER_09Wait, I saw I saw something about this on my timeline and people were laughing at it. Yeah. People were like, where?
SPEAKER_05Now, every time there's a homicide that happens in Hartford, I tag him. I said, Welcome to Miami.
SPEAKER_09Because there we go.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I mean and I say, Oh, there's a there's a pothole you might have to fix. Which he took that from Mindami and when he did that in fucking New York. In New York, yeah. What a fun what a dude. I think you should have life experience when you're a mayor or any public office which makes decisions for the public.
SPEAKER_13Right? Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_05What he's saying is government's gonna give you money. You could then save that money if you want to and buy a house with it. So what he's saying is the government owns that house. It's like a socialism type of thing, socialist, where they're gonna have everybody under the same fucking gets the same amount of fucking money, everybody has the same property, and that's a way to introduce this shit into there, and then while they fucking And then they're gonna end up owning the whole the houses because you're not gonna be able to keep them on my own. Yeah, they're not gonna fucking keep it up.
SPEAKER_09But it's it's oh my god.
SPEAKER_05They don't fix the problem, they put not even band-aids, they just add fuel to the fire. That's just so that's what they do.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, that's yeah, no, that's not the way to fix it. Sir, Mr. Sir Mayor over there, um, sir.
SPEAKER_05Mr. Miami, you fucking terrified.
SPEAKER_09There's other things that need your attention.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_09Other other things, like your education system, like your teachers not having funding. Um like uh your people getting shot.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, like backing your uh your PD up.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, like your firefighters that went without a contract for how many years? I'm just saying.
SPEAKER_05So this fucking dude, and then uh I advise him not to play both sides of the fence because he's like, oh, uh, I guess you know that that shooting where um two cops were injured and it was coming from was it Cromwell or something? And went into Hartford or Newington or some shit.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, let's see where I was it ended up in it and you want me to tell you because I know what happened.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah, tell me because I can't fucking remember. I saw the fucking thing.
SPEAKER_09I watched some body cam footage the other day. I didn't see it. It ended up on the Berlin Turnbike. So it started, it's it sounds like it started in Hartford, went through Rocky Hill, went into Newington, ended up behind the um the old PC Richards.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09And that's where the the shootout was. The blackout blackout? Yeah, the blackout blackout.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, so then uh he wants to give like a shout-out to the police department for this and that. No, first of all, he's trying to fucking he knows he fucked up with this firing of that cop. So he's trying to heal or uh or uh put a bandit on what the fuck he did. Smooth over. Yeah, smooth it over. But uh Yeah, either fucking pick a side, motherfucker.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, but how like is he addressing the residents of uh of the other like the neighborhood where the other shooting happened? Nah. Like last weekend.
SPEAKER_05No, I don't give a fuck. Look at him. What a turd he is.
SPEAKER_09Oh like the the people were by the park with all the like fucking the car takeovers every weekend.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Have you seen the videos of the people?
SPEAKER_05You see them on last Sunday?
SPEAKER_09What happened last? Like, I've seen people getting into fights. I saw some lady pissing on the side of the street. Yeah. Is that the one you're talking about?
SPEAKER_05No, there's another one. Birds. Nothing crazy, but it's uh another uh a concerned citizen that I follow.
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And uh he went down the road and happened to obviously have his phone on him. And uh, dude, he's like, Yeah, I'm never coming down this fucking road on a Sunday at night. This is crazy. People were fucking doing uh burnouts in the middle of the street, people all over the fucking place, fighting, doing shit.
SPEAKER_09The park. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05No, this is like on a side road.
SPEAKER_09It's the side road by the park. Pretty soon. I forgot what road it was. I think it's cold park. Colt park? Fucking there it happens every every weekend. Yeah, so when the when the car got hit by the train, because they were all lined up on the freaking train tracks.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Hello?
SPEAKER_05So what is this jerk off doing? Nothing. They enable these people to do this stuff. The people that are there. They enable them because they don't there's no consequences, so they're like, and what enables them more is when the cop gets chased by somebody with a knife and the cop kills the guy with the knife, they fire the cop and arrest him. So what does that tell you as a public, as like if you're a public citizen, uh that you can do whatever the fuck you want.
SPEAKER_04Hey, they ain't gonna do nothing.
SPEAKER_09It's it's fuck the police. That's and it's sad. Like it in now working in this field, right? Because before you come into this and into this side of it, yeah, you will have a different perspective of everything, right? 'Cause you are on You're on the other side. You're oblivious. Right. You don't understand everything that's going on. You come to the other side and you see behind the curtain.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09And it's like, wait a second. Wait a second.
SPEAKER_05This shit's all fucked up.
SPEAKER_09Everything.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Everything's on fire.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09It's a dumpster fire.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Everything. And it it's it's so hard. You guys have the hardest job.
SPEAKER_05It's fucking stupid. Yes.
SPEAKER_09You guys have the hardest job. EMS has a hard job. Those guys.
SPEAKER_05Oh, those two.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, they fucking those guys. I give them credit because they're crazy.
SPEAKER_05I wouldn't do that shit.
SPEAKER_09Nah, they they have they have nothing to protect themselves with. And then they're dealing with these people all the time.
SPEAKER_05Especially diseases.
SPEAKER_09Yes. I oh I give them so much credit. Yeah. So much credit. Like what people, listeners, whenever you encounter encounter one of your EMS workers, like a paramedic or something, you buy them a coffee. Yeah. Buy them a meal.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, get them something.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Which fucks.
SPEAKER_09Give them hand sanitizer. They need it. Like, show them love.
SPEAKER_05But this dude is such a douchebag. I don't like him at all. I don't give a fuck. Hold on, let's hear his voice again.
SPEAKER_00New program that allows you to use a section aid voucher.
SPEAKER_05You know he has a little band or something. He sings in bars.
SPEAKER_08What?
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Oh, does he? Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05Let's try to find it. On the tube of the U.
SPEAKER_08Oh God. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Fuck, I forgot his fucking name anyway. Mayor Ingelingaligge.
SPEAKER_09Oh, see, now we're gonna.
SPEAKER_05Ingelingaligge. I don't know his name.
SPEAKER_09That that was really close. Was it really? No, not mean to a little word. You need to bleep that out.
SPEAKER_05Lingalge. Lingelonger.
unknownOh my god.
SPEAKER_05You ever hear that? Lingalonger.
SPEAKER_08He's gonna get us canceled. No. He's gonna get us canceled.
SPEAKER_05That's from Opie and Anthony back in the day.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, it doesn't mean it doesn't get canceled. Nah.
SPEAKER_05Nah. Where is it? YouTube. Doot do too doo to do. I didn't say anything. You can think whatever the fuck you want, motherfucker. Uh wait, I gotta find out his name. This way. What the fuck isn't mayor? What? I don't know. He's not the only one. There's so many. Aranalambalam. Ara lamb. A R U L A M P A L A M. Ara Lampalam. Arana. Ara Lampalam. A raam. I can't say it. I'm trying. I'm not even trying to make fun of it. I swear to God. Can you see it? Hold on. Hold on. Here we go. Arulampalam. Arulampala. Arunan. Arunan. Arunan Araulam. Holy fuck. Arunan Arunan Arulampalam. That's the mayor.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I'm not even trying to make fun of it, trying to say it. You can say, try it.
SPEAKER_09No, because I know I'm gonna mess it up.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, of course. They mess up my name all the time, people. I don't give a fuck.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. I know I know what I know what that feels like. So let's see.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. So let's see. Oh, I'm gonna copy this. Copy. Let's find his band. I wonder if he's any good. That probably sucks. I love lamp. That's his lamp.
SPEAKER_09I cannot. Look, right there. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05I love lamp. Oh my god. I love lamp. Look at all this fake shit he's got on there. There, I love lamp. Let's see. Come on, where's his band? If he's good, I'll give him credit. If. But if he sucks, if he's boo.
SPEAKER_08I cannot.
SPEAKER_05Paste. Um mayor. Oh. Word. Singing. All right, let's see.
SPEAKER_09You can definitely put signing.
SPEAKER_05Singing. Signing. Signing the language. Well, I guess I can't really talk shit about him. I can't spell. Fuck it, I'm talking shit anyway.
SPEAKER_09English is hard.
SPEAKER_05English is hard. Singling singling. Singling ling. Singling in the bar. Come on, you fuck. In a bar. No, it's not gonna be on there.
SPEAKER_09Maybe because you put it as a mayor.
SPEAKER_05Irunan. Arunan singing in bar. Oh no, that's not him.
SPEAKER_09I cannot. That's not him.
SPEAKER_05Let me just get out of here. I'm gonna go to regular arun thing in the bar thing. I can't see the fucking thing. Okay, let's see. Publicly in the bar. So where the fuck is the video? Maybe it's here. Fucking turd. Oh well. Can't find it.
SPEAKER_09Can't find it, it never happened.
SPEAKER_05Anyway, it happened. But anyway, he's a turd. I don't like him. I love lamp.
SPEAKER_09Maybe it's based on I love lamp. The name. Okay. Maybe that's the name of his band.
SPEAKER_05I love lamp. Mayor, I love lamp. What else can we talk about? Let's see. I gotta go through some of these things. They've been here.
SPEAKER_09Okay. You two. I can't see shit. If you go through that, and if you don't find anything, I'll give you something.
SPEAKER_05Fantasy football, right? We went out.
SPEAKER_09Oh yes, you you finally did something related to sports, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Which I ended up sitting with the chicks eating pizza, talking about 90-day fiance. While the dudes were sitting in the next table over doing their fucking thing. So I get there, and I figured we're gonna get there, they're gonna do their thing, and then we'll hit up a bar. You know what I mean? Should be quick. No. Dude, people pull up fucking, they came out with laptops, yeah, fucking all their phones were out with all this fucking shit.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, money's money's a thing with this. Like, yeah. A lot of money.
SPEAKER_05Well, yeah. Some people they had a lot of them, a lot of people there. And uh I jinxed the situation. So I said, uh no. I'm sitting there and I see how serious people are getting. There's like they're all talking something. I said, hey, you guys ever fight over this shit? Right.
SPEAKER_09A fight broke out. What'd you do?
SPEAKER_05Within like 20 minutes, it started getting heated, and dudes are just pushing each other, getting all mad about their fucking yeah.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, because hello. Serious. Was that the first meeting? I've never been to one of these fucking things where they're doing their drafts. Oh picking their players.
SPEAKER_05I don't know how that works. Yeah, I guess. I don't know.
SPEAKER_09The fact that I know more than you have no fucking idea is wild.
SPEAKER_05There was multiple meetings, and then they got graded on their fucking teams. Yeah. Some people got an F, some people got an A plus. I don't know.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, because however their players doing is how their team's doing. That's their fantasy team.
unknownThat's dumb.
SPEAKER_05It's so fucking stupid. I don't know.
SPEAKER_09They won money.
SPEAKER_05That's dumb. I think they win a couple grand each or some shit like that, or something. Fuck that. That's stupid. I did a uh fantasy sports thing, but I cheated. I had my brother pick out all the teams.
SPEAKER_13Okay.
SPEAKER_05And then every time a fucking play happens, like, yo, what do I do? How do I swap people out? And then I made it to the playoffs. Then I got caught because everybody knows I don't know shit about sports.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. Oh, so they knew.
SPEAKER_05Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_09You gotta do a little bit of research. Like, I mean, I don't want to do that shit. Like, I know at least like some of the teams. Like, I don't know. Giants.
SPEAKER_05I don't know who's on them.
SPEAKER_09Right.
SPEAKER_05No fucking.
SPEAKER_09But you should know like at least like some of the quarterbacks.
SPEAKER_05Who?
SPEAKER_04Uh-oh.
SPEAKER_09Oh, what's the new kid? There's a new kid on the Patriots. He's like brand new. He's only like 20. He's only like 23. Super young. Super young.
SPEAKER_05I don't know.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, but he's really good.
SPEAKER_05I wanna I see I don't even feel like looking it up on my computer. That's how much I give a fuck.
SPEAKER_09I can tell.
SPEAKER_05I don't care about this.
SPEAKER_09I I see I see the effort you're putting in.
SPEAKER_05But I had good pizza.
SPEAKER_09That's good.
SPEAKER_05And some beverage. Yeah, I don't know. If I can do that fucking fantasy football shit.
SPEAKER_09I mean, it I think it it gets. I've never done it. I've never done it. I've played in like the squares. I've done the squares. Because Hello Amazon. That's like a holiday, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but then you're saying Super Bowl.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, Superl.
SPEAKER_05Holiday. That's kind of a holiday. Okay. People treat it as a holiday because they call out the next day.
SPEAKER_09Well, yeah, they do. They do. They they sure do. But um, no, I played in that. Like I'll watch the Super Bowl and I watch the bigger games. Like the teams that my family watches that they follow are playing out. I'll watch. When I was dating freaking the thing? Yeah. He was a fan of uh certain teams. You could say a team. The cowgirls is as they're called.
SPEAKER_04Oh damn dog.
SPEAKER_09That's what they're called. Cowgirls. That's what they call them. It's not me. I don't know. The people. I don't know. They're just not great.
SPEAKER_05I like the Giants.
SPEAKER_09From what I understand.
SPEAKER_05From what I'm supposed to like.
SPEAKER_09Why? See, from what you're supposed to like. Yeah. It's not even like.
SPEAKER_05No, it's not even a choice. It's gotta be Yankees, Knicks, and the Giants.
SPEAKER_09Well, hey, the Knicks did well.
SPEAKER_05Yes, they did.
SPEAKER_09You don't even almost win though.
SPEAKER_05I know they were played in some kind of fucking thing. They won good for.
SPEAKER_08Yes, they won.
SPEAKER_05I like to say congratulations to the Knicks.
SPEAKER_08Yes, they won.
SPEAKER_05For uh winning the Super Bowl. Whatever fuck whatever fucking chith hole fucking dumb fucking name it is. Hateful. I like UFC stuff. That's good. That's fun.
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And I I don't mind soccer too.
SPEAKER_13Well, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Because they move and stuff. Like basketball, they fall. Well, soccer, they fall all the time. Basketball, I just don't like it.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, I feel like basketball, they're very dramatic. Yeah, they fucking fall and they're Yeah, but if you guys could see you right now, like if you could have seen the screen.
SPEAKER_05But soccer, they fall all the time to the point where the ref will look at them like, get up. It's like alright.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Because it's they'll get the ball or some shit if it's fucking worthy.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, they're fine. They're fine.
SPEAKER_05Um not forgot what I was gonna say. Yeah, I like the UFC stuff because they move all the time. Yeah, those soccer players. And you're fucking looking at it like, damn, I would fucking be dead if I if that gate closed on me. We go into the oh, sorry, go into the octagon.
SPEAKER_09I know what it's called. Yeah, I was just wondering what gate you're talking about.
SPEAKER_05The gate of the octagon. Oh, okay, got it. Cage.
SPEAKER_09Okay.
SPEAKER_05Imagine the fucking I would get in there all hyped up.
SPEAKER_09With the with the roaring of the crowd.
unknownOh, fucking God.
SPEAKER_05That kind of sounds fucking like demonic, dude. It was the crowd behind you. Yeah, all right. Well, if I if I hear that shit tonight, I won't be pissed. Then the gate closes. Click, click.
SPEAKER_08Oh, the gates of hell.
SPEAKER_05The gates of hell close. And I'm like bouncing back and forth, bouncing back and forth, bouncing. Yeah, I'm gonna get you, bitch. Well, fuck you up.
SPEAKER_09You're already out of breath.
SPEAKER_05Already, yeah. Then that first swing comes at me. I move back. I'm quick, you know? Yep. But then I felt the air follow that fast punch.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yep. I'm like, you know what? Tapping out. Done. You go fuck yourself. Because if I would have got hit with that shit, I'd be fucking done.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yep.
SPEAKER_09But you could you could kick him.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I ain't kicking nobody. You could do the Yeah, catch my foot and I fall down, done.
SPEAKER_09You could what is it? You sweep the leg. Sweep a leg. Yeah, you could sweep a leg.
SPEAKER_05Sweep a leg.
SPEAKER_09You could scream what that guy was screaming from the from the audience at one time. Get him a dick.
SPEAKER_10Twist his dick. Twist his dick. The old dick twist.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Oh, best video ever.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that is a good one. I can't do that. I couldn't do that shit. If I and I watch and I'm like, that referee saves people every day.
SPEAKER_13Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_05Literally saves lives multiple times a night.
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And I said, I watch people get hit, and I'm like, huh. If I was at work and somebody hit me like that, it'd be a career ender. I'm not even trying to say like be a fake workers' comic. It would be a career ender. Yeah. You get hit like that, shh.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, you're done. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Fucking done.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, you're not going back.
SPEAKER_05Hell no. Nah. First of all, you'd be scared to go out on the road. You go out, you go out on the road and you're like, yo, fuck this dude. I ain't getting hit.
SPEAKER_09Talk about PTSD. Yeah. That's for real. Right there. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05How's the speaking of PTSD and the shitty dates you went on? You got any new ones coming up?
SPEAKER_09Uh, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. I did have to yell at somebody. Well, not yell. Scold. Scold somebody.
SPEAKER_05He'd grab you.
SPEAKER_09No. No. Send me an unwanted dick pig.
SPEAKER_05Oh, a dick pig. Let me see. Yes. Let me see.
SPEAKER_09No, it's not on my phone.
SPEAKER_05Where is it? No, I it's on your phone somewhere.
SPEAKER_09No, it's no, I don't think so.
SPEAKER_05Wait, mail it to you in your fucking mailbox?
SPEAKER_09No, it was on a DM.
SPEAKER_05So let me see.
SPEAKER_09I don't think I have it. Yeah, at least. I think I deleted it. Because immediately after I scolded it.
SPEAKER_05Was it hairy?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_09Is that a fur? No. But after.
SPEAKER_05Was it Diesel Veiny?
SPEAKER_09Can I finish my fucking sentence?
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_09After I scolded him about it, he immediately was like, he apologized and then he deleted me.
SPEAKER_04Oh shit.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. Well, I was like, um, first of all, that's not what I'm here for. So good luck out there. Don't do that again. Like, no. No, I see, I don't have it.
SPEAKER_05You're full of shit. I don't have it.
SPEAKER_09Look. See?
SPEAKER_05You could just show me anything. I don't even know if that's it.
SPEAKER_09Bro, that no, that's him. Why is there? Sorry. It's like. And I was like, thank you for the apology.
SPEAKER_05Was it Vaney?
SPEAKER_09No, it was it was kind of crooked.
SPEAKER_05Ah, he's got uh uh panini. Not panini. Panini uh yeah, fuck I used to the Leaning Tower pizza.
SPEAKER_09No shit. That's what it was. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I think mine used to be crooked. It straightened out over the years. Hmm. Anyway.
SPEAKER_09Well, the more you know. The more you know. You know?
SPEAKER_05Things Oh, it was crooked.
SPEAKER_09Yep. Yep. Yep.
SPEAKER_05It's like we was it impressive looking?
unknownHmm.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Well, it made you get mad, so it probably wasn't that crazy.
SPEAKER_09I just like don't don't do that. Like, if no. Especially the thing that pissed me off was getting a dick pic. Well, that was that was number two. Oh, well, that was no, that was number one. Number two was that just before that, we had had a conversation about how like the dating pool is and blah blah blah, like people are trash, all these things, right?
SPEAKER_05He figured that'd be the greatest time to send you a dick pic. Stupid asshole.
SPEAKER_09And then he has sent a post before that talking about how dating now is like prostitution because people don't take themselves seriously. And here's my dick. And then immediately I was like, Here's my dick.
SPEAKER_04I was like, so hey, look at my dick.
SPEAKER_09I was like, all right.
SPEAKER_05Look at my dick.
SPEAKER_09I was like, thank you, sir. Bye. Yeah. Goodbye.
SPEAKER_05You know, I agree with you, but uh, look at my dick.
SPEAKER_09I swear to God. I was like, so you know like, hello?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, just like prostitution men. Yeah, I respect girls. Look at my dick.
SPEAKER_09I swear to God. That's crazy. I swear to God. And then it was the wildest thing. I was like, what is going on? Like, why? Yeah. Because before, so before he sent it, like he kept he kept trying to FaceTime me, and I'm like, no, I was rejecting the call. I'm like, no.
SPEAKER_05We're not doing that shit.
SPEAKER_09Like, no, I we haven't.
SPEAKER_05Now I wish you did.
SPEAKER_09No, because then imagine. I'd be like, ah!
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah, that'd be crazy.
SPEAKER_09No.
SPEAKER_05What does he look like? Go on his profile and see what this guy looks like. Okay. Hold on.
SPEAKER_09Held on.
SPEAKER_05This is brought to you by look at my dick.
SPEAKER_09Gentlemen, no one wants to see that.
SPEAKER_04Look at my pen. No one.
SPEAKER_09Oh no, look. See, content not available. Like he literally.
SPEAKER_05Skin or no skin. What was on there?
SPEAKER_09Um circumcised. Circumcised. Yeah. I figured that's what you're asking, right? Yeah.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_05Shaved?
SPEAKER_09Uh, I don't know. I was I didn't pay that much attention.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but you would have sound like a bush or something.
SPEAKER_09I can't even like zoom into the one picture that's there. Like his profile picture.
SPEAKER_04See the fucking turn.
SPEAKER_05See a loser. What if I double click it?
SPEAKER_09No, you can't because he we don't follow each other.
SPEAKER_05You gotta screenshot it and then zoom in.
SPEAKER_09For what?
SPEAKER_05So I can see what it looks like. Watch this. I'm gonna screenshot it. Just erase it. Ooh, almost fell off the fucking thing here.
SPEAKER_09Just don't down 911.
SPEAKER_05No. He's hanging over the over this uh pull up not a pull up, a fucking um bicep curl bench with his arm hanging over to my make it look bigger. Is he fucking Middle Eastern or something?
SPEAKER_08I don't think so. No.
SPEAKER_05Huh.
SPEAKER_08Look at my dick!
SPEAKER_05That's gonna be his theme now. That's gonna be that's gonna be the name of this fucking show.
SPEAKER_09Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05Look at my dick! The D show.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I've never sent uh unsolicit I don't think I have. Digga could probably tell me the truth. But I don't remember sending an unsolicited dick pic even to like her mom or or death. Never did it. Never unsolicited.
SPEAKER_09That's the key word. Yeah. Unsolicited.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, unsolicited DPI. I never did it.
SPEAKER_09No, it's like it's I just don't. Just don't. Just don't. Just don't do it. Gentlemen.
SPEAKER_05I mean, I don't think mine's like bad looking, but I'm just like, I don't think it's good enough for a fucking photo bomb. I think it's like look at my dick!
SPEAKER_09Just like think about that. Like you she's looking at her phone. She's just scrolling through her timeline, or she's about to order some food. Look at my dick.
SPEAKER_05You know what I'm in the move forward to my hot dog.
SPEAKER_09Oh, look at my dick!
SPEAKER_05No. So what is there's a different what was your first uh reaction?
SPEAKER_09I was like, what the fuck? I was really so mad. It's like what the fuck? Because I just I think it's so fucking disrespectful. Like, no. Especially because I'm when I say like I had literally only been talking to him for like a day. It hadn't even been 48 hours.
SPEAKER_05He's like, look at my dick.
SPEAKER_09Look at my dick. Look at my dick. It's like star.
SPEAKER_05There's gonna be people out there after they listen to this either before or after work, but while they're at work or cooking, then they're gonna be like, Look at my dick, look at my dick.
SPEAKER_09They're just gonna be walking around.
SPEAKER_05Look at my cock, look at my cock bulge. Damn, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_09Yep. Disrespectful. It's like no.
SPEAKER_05I wonder if it was really his. Probably not.
SPEAKER_09No, it was him because he was sitting on the couch.
SPEAKER_05Oh, what a loser.
SPEAKER_09Yep. I was like, mm, sir.
SPEAKER_05Did you see like you see his hairy thighs? It was like that.
SPEAKER_09I don't know.
SPEAKER_05Like you see, like was he pointing up or is he pointing down?
SPEAKER_09Oh no, he was holding it. He was holding it. It was pointing up. I was like, okay. Um, sir.
SPEAKER_05So he had a boner for no reason. Damn, good for him. I mean, morning time, fine, but that's a scientific thing.
SPEAKER_09No, I no, this was like nighttime.
SPEAKER_05Good for him.
SPEAKER_09And like, uh, I'm sorry, what were you expecting to happen when you FaceTimed it?
SPEAKER_05He was talking to multiple people.
SPEAKER_09Sorry.
SPEAKER_05Maybe multiple people, and he sent it to you by accident.
SPEAKER_09No, because I don't think like then he followed up with like five attempted FaceTime calls.
SPEAKER_05Afterwards?
SPEAKER_09Yes.
SPEAKER_05Why would he do that? I was just like fucking him out.
SPEAKER_09Run away. Because I was like, why is he trying to FaceTime me? And then when I opened it, I was like, Oh shit.
SPEAKER_05Like, what the fuck? Uh maybe he was like, I'm sorry I fucking sent that. Or is he a big thing? Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_09I'm sure that's w uh I bet you money that's a big thing.
SPEAKER_05Damn, where is he from?
SPEAKER_09Uh where the fuck does he live? Um Connect Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Near the capital?
SPEAKER_09No. No.
SPEAKER_05Fairfield County ish?
SPEAKER_09Yes.
SPEAKER_05Bridgeport?
SPEAKER_09No.
SPEAKER_05Stanford? Norwalk.
SPEAKER_09Stratford. Maybe Stanford. Because he worked in Greenwich. What did he do?
SPEAKER_05You don't have to say where he worked, but what type of work?
SPEAKER_09Uh I think it was armed security or something. That guy? No, not that guy.
SPEAKER_05What's with you in armed security?
SPEAKER_09Not the guy with the football.
SPEAKER_05The guy with the fucking dead body in the background.
SPEAKER_09No, no, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_05Holy shit, dude.
SPEAKER_09Yes, I found that guy. He showed me his whole foot.
SPEAKER_05Damn. There was a dead body back there.
SPEAKER_09Probably. Yeah. That did look like a dead body. No, no, no, no. No, no.
SPEAKER_05Anything else?
SPEAKER_09Um, I'm trying to think, trying to think. No, not really. Not really. Um, men are all the same.
SPEAKER_05So, real quick.
SPEAKER_09Trash.
SPEAKER_05I just want to ask you again. So the conversation was like, you know, respect women, or what was it again? Like the dating.
SPEAKER_09Dating's dating's like prostitution. Dating today is like prostitution.
SPEAKER_05And then how and that's what you were saying?
SPEAKER_09That's what he was saying. That's the clip that he sent me.
SPEAKER_05And then you said, like, yeah. Like you're having a conversation.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, I was like, yeah, kinda like.
SPEAKER_05What are the things that you said to him?
SPEAKER_09What are things that I had said to him?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, like, you know, just a conversation, like, you know.
SPEAKER_09Oh, I I had told him like what my dating experiences had been like. I'm like, yeah, you know, what I have found to be is that when you are talking to someone, a lot of the time people can't seem to hold a conversation more than 48 hours.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_09After that, it's like they're trying to find other people. Because there's a huge variety.
SPEAKER_04Like, show me my dick.
SPEAKER_09Well, apparently everybody wants to show everybody their dick.
SPEAKER_04Oh shit.
SPEAKER_09So we had the conversations like that. I'm like, this is what happened.
SPEAKER_05Like a sincere conversation. Yeah. And then out of nowhere.
SPEAKER_09And then, oh yeah, dating's like prostitution. And I was like, yeah, you know, like whatever. And then later in that day, boom.
SPEAKER_05So what did that was the last conversation you guys had? And then later it was like, let me just send him my dick.
SPEAKER_09Literally. Cause like I I think I was at work. I don't I don't even know. I was like faced out. Like, you know, I was at that point. I when he started sending that, when he was trying to FaceTime me, I was at home. Yeah. But earlier in the evening, I was not Unavailable. Yeah, I was unavailable. Like I wasn't speaking to and like I wasn't online.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09So when he started trying to call me, I was like, what the fuck is going on? And then when I opened it, I was like, why?
SPEAKER_05That's so great.
SPEAKER_09No. Mm-mm.
SPEAKER_05Well, I'm glad I asked.
SPEAKER_09It's it's it's it's interesting. Show my dick. Well, yeah. And then I had somebody else message me talking about, um, so do you want to be friends with benefits? Sir.
SPEAKER_05So no, I would have asked you.
SPEAKER_09I'm like, we're not even friends. It's like, what do you mean?
SPEAKER_05That's dangerous. Very dangerous.
SPEAKER_08Dating. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_08What did you uh do?
SPEAKER_05Fuck, what was it what were we talking about? Um scary. Shit. Fuck, now I forgot. Oh.
SPEAKER_08I don't know.
SPEAKER_05So we saw this uh I forgot where the fuck were we out. All these people were out. Friends. And then uh they were talking about dating. Like, oh they're you're lucky you're married now because this dating fucking shit is crazy. And I was like, dude, you could fucking be dating a crackhead that's a crackhead. Or like bring home a crackhead that's a crackhead, but not deep in the crackhead world. Like a new crackhead.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, not even known.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, dude. And then before you know it, you're fucking shit stolen. And oh fuck that. Because the new ones you can't tell. New crackheads.
SPEAKER_09Right. And also, you don't know who the fuck you right? But like there's a lot of people out here. They're off their meds. They're off their meds, but people are so naive. They will just bring whoever home.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_09Whoever. It's like, excuse the fuck. People will be like, oh, you want to text? No. No, I don't want to text. I just met you. You gotta get like a Google.
SPEAKER_05You gotta do Google. Oh, hi chunk. No. You gotta do a Google uh phone. No. That's where you can text and then you just cancel.
SPEAKER_09I don't gotta do none of that shit.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09If if you can hold a conversation So how are you supposed to see him again? Well, if you can hold a conversation and then we go out for coffee or we go out for dinner, whatever.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09And at that point I'm like, oh okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_05And you don't send the show me my dick.
SPEAKER_09You don't send me a show me my dick. Show me my dick. And um, I'm like, okay, he's not gonna kill me. He doesn't seem like he's gonna kill me. Uh then I'll give you my number.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09But if I'm not feeling it, yeah, then I'm not gonna give you my number after the day.
SPEAKER_05So how are you supposed to go out for coffee if you don't give me the give him the number?
SPEAKER_09The same way that we set up the DC.
SPEAKER_05Oh, yeah, DM stuff. Yeah, but what if you're at a bar and you're having a conversation or anywhere, coffee shop, you're having a good conversation with somebody.
SPEAKER_09Oh, like I met them organically? That's different. Because I met them organically. Like I met them.
SPEAKER_05Why do you say these crazy ass words, yo?
SPEAKER_09That's a very common term.
SPEAKER_05Not really. Not for somebody like me. We don't talk organically.
SPEAKER_09Okay. I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_05I'm like, oh. No, that's kidding. Yeah, organically.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. Well, that's different.
SPEAKER_05Where would you like to meet somebody organically? Library.
SPEAKER_09The morgue.
SPEAKER_05Oh, Jesus Christ, dude. This is getting into it. No, that's a humor's a pound of truth, you fucking creeper.
SPEAKER_09I don't go. I don't I don't go to the morgue. Yeah, well, you can't go to the morgue. I don't spend time there.
SPEAKER_05Would you ever be a mortician?
SPEAKER_09No. Oh no, no, no.
SPEAKER_05Would you ever work in a morgue?
SPEAKER_09No.
SPEAKER_05Why?
SPEAKER_09Why? Okay, all the reasons.
SPEAKER_05I think you would like it.
SPEAKER_09All the reasons why.
SPEAKER_05Um I think you would do it. They creep me out. Bullshit. You're a creeper.
SPEAKER_09No, I'm a creeper, but I don't want to be creeped out by the dead bodies.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you would do it.
SPEAKER_09No, I wouldn't.
SPEAKER_05Yes, you would.
SPEAKER_09No, I wouldn't. I can't.
SPEAKER_05What was I gonna? Oh.
SPEAKER_09Ghosties already like to be around me. I don't need to go see the dead people.
SPEAKER_05Watch, hold on. I found haunted shit in Connecticut.
SPEAKER_09Oh god. Are we going to one?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I wanna go. What do you want to do?
SPEAKER_09Are we gonna go do a show?
SPEAKER_05I wanna go to Sleepy Hollow.
SPEAKER_09Okay. Wait.
SPEAKER_05I mean that's that's New York, but.
SPEAKER_09I was I was so confused. I'm like, wait, what?
SPEAKER_05I feel like we're in CT.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, I want to go to Gettysburg.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah. I want to bring my metal detector there.
SPEAKER_09Okay, yes, we can do that too. That's that's totally fine.
SPEAKER_05I was metal detecting, right? In a place where I thought I could metal detect, but I don't know if I I don't know.
SPEAKER_08How much are you in a cemetery? No, you can't do that in cemetery is bad. I'm just gonna go.
SPEAKER_05You can't do that.
SPEAKER_08Making sure.
SPEAKER_05So in this place, there's a historic house, right?
SPEAKER_09Okay.
SPEAKER_05In this town.
SPEAKER_09Okay.
SPEAKER_05That I ventured to.
SPEAKER_09Okay.
SPEAKER_05So behind the uh whatchamacallit? The famous house house. Okay. There's a park, but it's divided by a gate.
SPEAKER_13Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_05In the backyard. So I was like, I'm gonna be slick. Because you can't do it on the you can't dig holes on the property unless you have permission. They're not gonna give you permission. So I thought, yeah, I won't be slick. I'm going on the other side of the fence, motherfucker. Because that was their backyard anyway, and you can find like coins and shit like that. So I'm digging. I'm like looking around, make sure nobody's coming. Right? It doesn't say there's no sign saying I can't be there. It's a public place.
SPEAKER_13Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_05Right? Looking around, looking around. I'm digging for like an hour, fucking around, right? Digging. See somebody coming. I'm like, oh shit. So I just kind of like hide everything. I'm like, I look up, there's a camera watching me for about an hour.
SPEAKER_11I knew it.
SPEAKER_05The town camera watching me for an hour.
SPEAKER_11I knew it.
SPEAKER_05I wonder. I wonder if they were in roll call. If you see this uh Caucasian male with the metal detector wearing a Goonie shirt and fucking Crocs had Crocs on and basketball shorts. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_09If you see the nerd.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, this fucking loser. Just trespassing. Trespass him from the park, please. I wasn't illegal though, I'll tell you that. I don't think I was. No, because it was public. I just don't know if I could do that. But yeah, I was like being all slick, looking around, people walking by.
SPEAKER_09You were looking around and missed the camera. Big fucking camera. You were a detective.
SPEAKER_05Well, what have yes? But you know what? You know what got me? And I'm gonna tell you what got my attention to the fucking camera. So the little the holes you're digging are like fucking five-inch holes deep. Nothing crazy. And the way you dig them, you fucking you dig it in a circle, right? Almost all the way around, 80% around, and then you just flip up the dirt. So then you look, you have your other little metal detector, you can't find anything. You flip that back, and now it's called the plug. That's it. You doesn't even look like you dig there. Then the grass will grow back and everything.
SPEAKER_09It's like a drug deal.
SPEAKER_05Yes. Like you're hiding drugs. Now I forgot the fuck I was saying. Oh, so now I go to uh dig.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And I hit like the solid ground. I'm like, oh, it's gotta be a rock.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_05So I keep fucking.
SPEAKER_08I'm like, I have a feeling. Right? See, it's the casket.
SPEAKER_05No. So then I'm like, I don't know what the fuck that is. So I have my gloves on moving dirt. It was the live wires coming from that fucking uh the pole, and then I looked to the right, it's going to a pole. I looked to the left, and it's a fucking all the meters and everything. I was like, oh shit, dude.
SPEAKER_08Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05So I haven't that's when I looked at the pole and noticed that there was a fucking camera staring at me.
SPEAKER_09Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05Imagine if I would have fucking smashed that wire.
SPEAKER_09Maybe you would have taken the camera out.
SPEAKER_05Yep. And all the the lights and everything just would have fucked it all up. Then I definitely would have been in trouble.
SPEAKER_09Oh, you definitely would have been in trouble.
SPEAKER_05But there was no sign saying there's underground wires.
SPEAKER_09Why would there be?
SPEAKER_05And it should be deeper than fucking five inches.
SPEAKER_09That true.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that shit was fucking true. That's true, well, Fuck you. Yo, that's true.
unknownEnglish.
SPEAKER_08Look at my dick. Think about it. Alright. Signing.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Singing. Signing. Alright. Now let's back to uh 15 haunted places.
SPEAKER_08We have a hard time with English here.
SPEAKER_05Let's see. Let's let's check this place. Wrinkle clothes.
SPEAKER_09Hold on. What did he say? Where do you put clothes? Something said?
SPEAKER_05I don't know. I think he was like.
SPEAKER_04Think about dick.
SPEAKER_09Ah. That's what it sounded like.
SPEAKER_05Alright, let's see if this. What you see, motherfucker?
SPEAKER_09This big ass sock.
SPEAKER_05Fog.
SPEAKER_09Is that a sock?
SPEAKER_05Is that a genetic? It looks like a sock.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. Okay, so I see.
SPEAKER_05That shit's been there for fucking for like a year.
SPEAKER_09Well, I just got LASIK.
SPEAKER_05Oh, yeah, that's right, I forgot. So, this is 37 minutes when I can watch the whole thing. Okay. We're gonna skim through.
SPEAKER_03You know the stories, but you don't know the terror. This is where the warrants face their demons. No. These are the times. Are you ready for Halloween?
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_05I'm excited.
SPEAKER_09Can I wait? Like, can you ask me in like four weeks? Because I want to finish summer.
SPEAKER_05To me, it's over. September happens, summer's over. It's over.
SPEAKER_03Haunted places that own New England's darkness. Fuck yeah. I'm excited.
SPEAKER_05You have scary tattoos, right? Let me see.
SPEAKER_09First of all, that's just Harry Potter.
SPEAKER_05That's scary too. That's like scary. It's like mine. Scary.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, like mine's it's a castle.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Okay.
SPEAKER_05Alright, back to the show.
SPEAKER_03Sterling Opera House, Derby. Connecticut. Let's go ahead. It is a monument to civic ambition and slow decay. Completed in 1889, the granite structure housed not just a grand performance hall, but also the town police. The post office and municipality. It functioned as the heart of the community until 1945, after which the main hall fell silent. Holy shit! Abandonment have intensified thermal fluctuations and structural shifts within the building. Yet investigators note that the auditory anomalies documented are inconsistent with simple building settling. The basement level, formerly the holding cells for the Derby Police Department is the epicenter of repeated phenomena. Cold spots registering 35 degrees below ambient temperature are routinely recorded near the barred.
SPEAKER_05You know how people died in those fucking deposits.
SPEAKER_03Look at my dick!
SPEAKER_05All shadow figures.
SPEAKER_08Your English is so hot.
SPEAKER_05Fucking shit. What is this? Damn, that would have been so good, too. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Look at my dick. Well, maybe that's what he wants to see because he can't find it. He's disembodied. Irrevocably. I gotta find another thought. This guy sucks.
SPEAKER_09The 1754 households a captive history. Whoever's doing this, like showed you the place, told you a story, then showed you a clip of like an EVP. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05That would be tragic fall of Hartford. Ha! Mayor, I love lamp. Let's see. Creepy places in Connecticut. We'll do this one real quick. This one's gotta work.
SPEAKER_07This is the first thing that I saw in the morning in the line. What is she? And it's the last thing that goes off of the side. That's what you're gonna need. I can wear it in the shower and not have a problem there because that's where so many problems fall. I've used it for a whole different situation.
SPEAKER_05Are you gonna have an alarm on this fucking thing if it stops working?
SPEAKER_12So you gotta like weird quiet.
SPEAKER_05You're gonna sound like a fish tank.
SPEAKER_08Remember the old fish tanks where they had a little bit you can hear the filter going.
SPEAKER_09I don't know. I don't I don't know.
SPEAKER_05That's gonna be awesome.
SPEAKER_09Oh man.
SPEAKER_05On the surface. Yeah, it might have you fall asleep better.
SPEAKER_06My brother has that. This is a place shaped by centuries of conflict and change. Yo, this is the best fit.
SPEAKER_05Yo, I got an extra one, I give it to you.
SPEAKER_09Oh, it saving me 600 bucks.
SPEAKER_06You know, and often just a little bit strange.
SPEAKER_09Does it really keep you alive?
SPEAKER_06Before we enter the realm of the unknown.
SPEAKER_05I think it just blows fucking air in your fucking I don't know what it does.
SPEAKER_09I don't know what it does either, so this shit sucks.
SPEAKER_06I just know that um yet for all its hospitality, there's an united scene, but all their own voice.
SPEAKER_09There are I think that Mystic is doing is it Mystic or Norwalk? One of the two towns is doing ghost tours. They're doing ghost tours now.
SPEAKER_05I saw the fucking uh it was on the feed. Was it on your feed?
SPEAKER_09I saw it on my feed.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09I did the ghost tours in Boston. That w that was okay. Uh-huh. Um I went to is it is it Penn? Penn State Penitentiary Penn State Penitentiary. I don't freaking know. The one in Philly?
SPEAKER_04Probably.
SPEAKER_09The jail, the big jail, the haunted jail. You went to there? Yeah, because they they do like a haunted attraction for Halloween.
SPEAKER_05That's fucking cool.
SPEAKER_09Mm-hmm. We went there.
SPEAKER_05I'm gonna go to somewhere haunted.
SPEAKER_09That shit is creepy. Um trying to think. I mean, I've been to the we I think everyone's been to the Green Lady in Burlington.
SPEAKER_05I have not.
SPEAKER_09You've never been there? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05From the other side of the tracks, B.
SPEAKER_09So I don't know what that means, but you should go there.
SPEAKER_05No, wait, I just have a haunted savannah, haunted Connecticut. I'm trying to find one that's like fucking quick. Here we go. Oh yeah. Scary. I like walking through abandoned buildings.
SPEAKER_09Do you have you? I like to.
SPEAKER_01I'm a known for its quaint towns and colonial history. Holds a much darker secret.
SPEAKER_08I know.
SPEAKER_01A legacy living and the dead are said to collide. From eerie cemeteries to cursed islands and abandoned factories. These locations tell chilling tales of tragedy, mystery, and restless spirits. Dare to join us as we uncover the ten most haunted places in the Constitution state.
SPEAKER_05Oh, this is cute.
SPEAKER_01One Union Cemetery. Easton. We went through there. Well, we're like Union Cemetery. A hauntingly beautiful yet sad and chilling place.
SPEAKER_09Look at where it's set. It's right in the middle of that triangle.
SPEAKER_01White lady. A spectral figure. Why is she always a white lady dressed in white? She goes silently between the city. All the cemeteries.
SPEAKER_09Because that's what they buried them in.
SPEAKER_01Drivers have reported heartstopping encounters.
SPEAKER_09I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Legend has it that white lady is the restless spirit of a woman who met a tragedy. What do you guys have in death? Hispanic class story shrouded in mystery. What did you say?
SPEAKER_09La Llorona.
SPEAKER_01What does that mean?
SPEAKER_05Somebody went to said uh I forget the our bad bunny impersonator guy.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Right. Yeah. We were talking about that stuff. And in Puerto Rico, he said there was a lady in white. He said he saw this. And he's he's walking, I don't know, he's in a house or some Airbnb or some shit. And then this is he said it was a little while ago. And he sees a lady crying. I could have sworn he said white or pink dress or something, sitting on top of the refrigerator. Dude, fuck that.
SPEAKER_09No, thank you.
SPEAKER_05Crying. And then I don't know if he said there could have been a murder there or something. He doesn't know.
SPEAKER_08Probably. Dude.
SPEAKER_05Fuck that. I see anything on my fridge, I'm getting the fuck out. That's creepy.
SPEAKER_09Puerto Rico's known for a lot of stuff, like the the aliens and the fuck that, dude. Mm-hmm. No. The aliens.
SPEAKER_05Dude, sitting on your fridge.
SPEAKER_09I'm trying to think. I used to have this nightmare when we lived in Puerto Rico that it was I used to dream that my my mom, but it was my mom, would be hiding in the bathroom in the shower.
SPEAKER_05Fuck that, dude.
SPEAKER_09And that she was just in there waiting for me. Because she was gonna get me. And you know the crazy part? I know that I'm not the only human to have this dream about a parent or a mom. Because there's a fucking movie coming out called All Their Minds.
SPEAKER_05Yes. Did you see the trailer?
SPEAKER_09Yes, and I was like, how?
SPEAKER_05I think I'd watch it.
SPEAKER_09I was like, wait, how what? I was like, yo, who got into my mind?
SPEAKER_05You know what we have to do? We have to have a scary movie night. Just to watch. Doesn't have to be a show, but just to watch. Right down here.
SPEAKER_09We yeah. You know my my kids want to have a party in your downstairs?
SPEAKER_05They want Hell no. They're gonna fuck my shit up, yo. Get me a rested yo.
SPEAKER_09That sounded wrong. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Mother, you got your damn mind.
SPEAKER_09They want to have a party in the basement down here. There was like, we should go to Uncle Frank's house and just do a party. That's like, uh, first. Yeah, who's paying for this shit, yo? They're like, We should we should go. You should just ask them. I'm like, um, no. No.
SPEAKER_05When you're of age, you can have a party.
SPEAKER_09Yo, they're they're crazy.
unknownThey're crazy.
SPEAKER_05Do it seriously. I'll fucking watch. We'll watch they could come through, but we'll watch. They're not touching my alcohol, they're too young. Don't even be sneaking my shit. I'm high, I'm locking up everything. But throw on a scary movie.
SPEAKER_09Yes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Or have it outside.
SPEAKER_09Oh, outside would be cool.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05I'm gonna do that. That'd be cool. I want to watch a scary one though. Not like QB's Halloween.
SPEAKER_09No, now there's like it's hard to find out. You know what? Obsessed was creepy. Did you watch Obsessed?
SPEAKER_05Nah, I don't watch scary movies.
SPEAKER_09Well, then what the f what are we doing?
SPEAKER_05But I wanna watch it.
SPEAKER_09What are we doing here?
SPEAKER_05I wanna watch it, but I'm not doing that shit by myself. Fuck that, dude.
SPEAKER_09Obsessed was creepy.
SPEAKER_05Is that in the movie theaters?
SPEAKER_09No, it's already out. You can watch it. I think it's on Peacock or Paramount.
SPEAKER_05Oh, Par I have Paramount.
SPEAKER_09I think it's it's on one of those.
SPEAKER_05Obsessed?
SPEAKER_09Yes. The girl's face. So creepy. I was like, she needs to stop.
SPEAKER_05Let me see. Excuse me. Obsessed movie?
SPEAKER_09Yeah. The uh obsession. Right there. No, not a hole.
SPEAKER_05What did you say? Powhole. That's an hour. Uh let me do trailer. So it's this this one.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. I don't think I could live without you.
SPEAKER_10Does your dad really have cancer?
SPEAKER_11No. No. No. No. What?
SPEAKER_10No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. I thought we were having a nice day. Why does it matter? I thought we were having a nice day. It's okay.
SPEAKER_05Dude. I don't think I could live without you. But this is it? That's her?
SPEAKER_10Mm-hmm. For one night or and and we need to live in the five. But she had kids. No. No. Just be normal. I can't be Nikki. Just be Nikki.
SPEAKER_11I can't. Anything you want me to do?
SPEAKER_07No, don't say that.
SPEAKER_11Anything you want me to do?
SPEAKER_10No, listen. Nicki. Would it say that? I just want you to act like Nikki.
SPEAKER_11Let me be Nikki. You're not being like Nikki. I can't be Nikki!
SPEAKER_05Fuck that. I'm out. You go fuck yourself.
unknownI want you to.
SPEAKER_10Mm-hmm. Oh my god. Please think you're scared of me. I would never hurt you. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_11Oh, dude.
SPEAKER_10Fuck.
SPEAKER_05Alright, we gotta watch this shit. So is it on? It's on. Alright. If I could find it, we're gonna watch it.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_05In the next couple weeks.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. That one. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Fuck that.
SPEAKER_09I didn't get creeped out, and then I watched that movie and I was like, yo, her face.
SPEAKER_05Somebody somebody at work was actually, and this person loves uh horror movies.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Uh you might know this person. But anyway, and uh this person was showing me parts of it. But then the phone started ringing, I had to fucking go, but parts of that shit. Fuck that. See, first of all, if we were sit if we were at the restaurant and I asked her a question, she started freaking out like alright, we're all set.
SPEAKER_09But see, you gotta did they tell you the story behind like what I'm gonna do. No, I don't even want to know. Okay. I don't even want to know. I just like to watch it. I'll tell you, I won't tell you.
unknownOh yeah.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, it was yep, yep.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, we gotta do one. We'll have one. Yep. So, alright. Let's see.
SPEAKER_09It's a good one. Yeah, we'll do that. That's one of the better ones.
SPEAKER_05And then there's gotta be a couple. I know uh what's his name? Uh Charlie Mike showed a couple on with the box.
SPEAKER_09Oh, the one with the creep that creepy one. Yeah. The guy coming up.
SPEAKER_05He'll fucking he'll find some good ones.
SPEAKER_09He'll just show us his timeline.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's all he's gonna do.
SPEAKER_09That's creepy.
SPEAKER_05Uh, you know what's creepy when somebody's like, look at my dick!
SPEAKER_12Yeah. Oh baby.
SPEAKER_05Ah shit. Oh god. We'll see what happens next week. I might be in Carolina, I think, next week.
SPEAKER_09Oh, nice!
SPEAKER_05I think so.
SPEAKER_09I I won't be.
SPEAKER_05I'll let you guys know.
SPEAKER_09I'm bored.
SPEAKER_05And then uh, is anything gonna happen with the the other show we're thinking about or you're thinking about?
SPEAKER_09Yeah, I'm having a meeting with her tomorrow.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, and then uh we'll figure something out. Yeah, even if we do like a little dry run thing here.
SPEAKER_09Yep, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_05Um coming soon. Yeah, coming soon. We'll figure it out.
SPEAKER_09Alright.
SPEAKER_05Alright, peace down, motherfuckers.