Energetic Alignment & Manifestation: How to Actually Get Results with Manifestation coach Kelsey Aida

In this episode of Worthy and Abundant, Linda Brand interviews bestselling author and manifestation coach Kelsey Aida about why manifestation often doesn’t work the way people expect—and what to do instead.

Kelsey Aida is an energetic alignment coach and co-host of the top 1% podcast High Vibin' It with over 550,000 downloads. She helps people stop spinning their wheels with manifestation and start creating real results in their lives.

We talk about the deeper truth behind manifestation, energetic alignment, and self-worth, and why traditional law of attraction advice can sometimes keep people stuck.

Kelsey also shares insights from her upcoming book The Manifesting Fix (Macmillan, December 2026), where she reveals why common manifestation techniques fail and how to shift your energy and mindset to create lasting change.

In this episode we discuss:

• Why manifestation doesn’t work for many people
• The role of energetic alignment in creating results
• How self-worth affects what you attract into your life
• The biggest mistakes people make with manifestation
• Practical ways to shift your mindset and energy

If you’ve ever felt frustrated trying to manifest your dreams, this conversation will give you a refreshing and empowering new perspective.

Pre-order The Manifesting Fix today: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250432674/themanifestingfix/

Kelsey's Website: KelseyAida.com

Connect with Kelsey on Social: @KelseyAida

Listen to the High Vibin' It Podcast:
https://podfollow.com/high-vibin-it

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome back to Worthy and Abundant, the podcast. I'm so grateful you're here. It means the world to me that you're here listening. I don't take it for granted. I am super excited for today's guest, Kelsey Ada. She is a best-selling author, an energetic alignment coach, and a host of the popular personal growth podcast High Vibin, which is in the top 1% globally. She helps people stop spinning their reels with manifestation and actually get results. Her upcoming book, The Manifesting Fix, which is coming out in December, reveals why traditional manifestation advice fails and what to do instead. Welcome, Kelsey, to the show. I'm so grateful to have you here. I'm super excited for this conversation. Yes, Linda.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

You're so welcome. So, Kelsey, I'd love to start at the beginning. What first led you into the world of manifestation and energetic alignment?

SPEAKER_01 0:56

Yeah, so as many healers and coaches can probably attest, it all started with the dark night of the soul, of course. And in my late teens, early adulthood, I to back up a little bit, I'll keep it short, but the long story short is when I was younger, my whole life, I was training to be a professional ballerina. Not just, oh, I want to be a ballerina, I want to be a fighter, I want to be an astronaut. No, like I was doing it. I was on that path. And as many young ballerinas do, I got injured. And that sent me into a spiral when I couldn't pursue that as my career, my identity, my entire life anymore. So in my late teens, early adulthood, when I injured my back from bending too far backwards, I injured my labrum and my hip from just years of over rotation and hypermobility. I spiraled into a deep dark place. I was diagnosed with depression. I had moments of suicidal ideation. And it was a rough patch for a while. It was about three years that lasted. And towards the end, I just had this moment of I didn't always used to be sick and tired and miserable and hate my life and want to get hit by a bus or want to have a coma. Like I used to love my life, I used to be passionate. I used to have friends, I used to be bubbly. Like, what happened? And I realized I had to change something. I had to learn how to enjoy my life, even though I wasn't going to be a dancer, like I had to pivot, I had to feel better. And I said this Hail Mary prayer, and I was like, God, whoever's out there, spirit team, universe, like, just send a girl some help. I will act on the help if you send it. I just need guidance. I need to enjoy my life again. Otherwise, this is not gonna end well. And of course, when you ask and you receive what I received in that asking was a great therapist, an amazing shaman, all the books, all the podcasts, all the resources, and just started diving deep into personal development, energy, healing, emotions, like all of it, manifestation, positive psychology. And that's when I got excited about manifesting. And all everything I learned, I was applying, it was working, I eventually healed from the depression. I was feeling better than I felt even before I fell into the depression. And I was like, oh my gosh, everybody needs to know this information. Why is this not just common spread? Why don't we teach this in school? Why aren't there even more books on it? And so I just had this ping that I needed to be an author and start writing about everything that was working, everything that had helped me. And that's when I transitioned from, you know, just being someone who was excited about it to someone who was teaching it. And years later, now it's turned into the high vibe in it podcast, multiple books, international retreats, coaching, you name it.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

It's all just I love that. I love that. So on this podcast, we talk a lot about worthiness. How important is self-worth when it comes to actually manifesting what we desire?

SPEAKER_01 4:01

Oh my gosh, it's everything. So one of my big pillars of manifestation is self-love. Now, a lot of people they know they need to love themselves more, they want to love themselves more, but it's okay, what does that actually look like in daily life? Because I have this nasty inner critic, I don't feel worthy, I never feel like I'm enough. All this bad stuff has happened to me, and I'm using that as evidence to prove to myself that I'm not enough. Otherwise, my life would be different, yada. So, actually, in my upcoming book, The Manifesting Fix, I dedicated a whole chapter to self-love because I think it's like the ultimate fix to any patterns that you have going on, anything that's not working in your life, like pretty much the answer always comes down to self-love. And it's funny because on my podcast, high vibing it, whenever we have coaches on and they're telling their expertise, and everyone's saying the same thing in their own way, and I'll be like, So, what you're saying is self-love is the answer yet again. And it usually always is. Like for me, I went through a second spiritual awakening when I moved from California to Ohio, and it was this whole thing, and I fell in love with this person who had borderline personality disorder, and he really messed me up, and that took me through a whole like worthiness spiral. And on the other side of that, I realized like you have to own your inherent worthiness, you have to remind yourself of it often because other people might not. And if you can remember and remember often, when good things come to you, you will be able to receive them. But the thing is, if you're a really great manifestor, but you're lacking in the worthiness and self-love department, you can align with all this stuff, you can attract all this stuff, the money can come, the love can come, the friends can come. But think about it when you're feeling ugly and you receive a compliment, you're like, oh, this whole thing, or oh, it's just today, or I got this on sale or whatever. Like you deflect and you do the same thing with blessings if you don't feel that you are worthy of them. So it's a practice, it doesn't happen overnight. It's not just a switch, but it's not like your worthiness ever went anywhere. It's that we forget and we allow ourselves to be programmed and we convince ourselves that, oh, if I was more worthy, then that person wouldn't have left me, or if I was skinnier, I would get more attention, or if I was prettier, or if I was smarter, if I was richer. And it's no, we don't need to attach to those detrimental stories because they're not even true.

SPEAKER_00 6:44

That's right. They're not true, those are all external things, and you are whole and worthy just for being alive and breathing, but it does take we on learning a lot and remembering that you're worthy, like you said, that's why I teach worthiness and self-love. And I have a program called Worthy, the remembering method. So I mean, like very much in alignment. So, what do you think? So many people feel like they're doing all the manifestation things but still not getting results. Do you think unresolved emotional patterns or self-doubt can block manifestation, which is what we just yeah, all of that.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

So in my upcoming book, The Manifesting Fix, I had to write a whole book about this because it can't really just be summed up in like a one-minute answer, but I'm gonna give you my best answer. But what stops us from manifesting the things that we want isn't that we're not trying hard enough or we're not worthy, or whatever like stories we tell ourselves, but it's always some form of usually sneaky, usually subconscious resistance. Now, resistance can manifest itself in many ways. This could be a worthiness issue, we need to remember again, we need to go into your course, we need something like that, or this could be, like you said, an emotional blockage where you have something unresolved internally. Maybe you're not allowing your sadness to be expressed, maybe you haven't really touched that anger to the point of accessing like the boundary it's trying to show you. Like our emotions have so much wisdom and energy, but if we don't give them the time of day because it's uncomfortable or we feel like we don't have time, or we don't want to go there, we're scared, whatever, they get almost like stuck in our emotional body and basically throw your vibes off. If you've ever gotten reiki, like an energetic tune-up, that can be a good way to work through some of that. But the best thing for keeping your emotional body really clean and clear is to let yourself feel how you feel, not scapegoat yourself, not gaslight yourself, not pretend that you feel good when you don't, like, and I'm not saying you have to do this at work or inappropriate times, but you have to make time for yourself, which comes back to the worthiness piece to really process whatever is coming up for you with love, with compassion, with patience. And on the other side of that, you always come to a place of relief eventually, and from that relief, you naturally come back into alignment. So if it is like an emotional blockage, the feeling is the healing. And as much as people don't want to hear it, the only way out is yeah, it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

Yeah, you said it all so well because so many of us just shove it away. We were taught, oh, here's an ice cream, don't cry, here's an ice cream. Yeah, it's like what we were taught, or I was taught as a child, but I know that parents today are getting a little bit more aware that healing your feelings is the way to heal, and it's okay, all emotions are welcome. You are allowed your feelings, right? We're allowed them, and I know it's so interesting. That was so powerful. I love that you said that because especially men, they just shut down their feelings. Oh my goodness, that is so good. So, what is the biggest misconception people have about manifestation since you've got that book coming up?

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Yeah, oh my gosh, so many things. One, and I write about this a lot in the book like people treat manifesting and the law of attraction like cosmic Amazon, and it's not quite cosmic Amazon because we've been taught like you ask and then you receive, right? But in between the asking and receiving, there are often some substeps that have conveniently been left out, namely the substep of getting aligned with the goal, also the substep of taking action towards the goal and co-creating the thing. Like just because you want something doesn't mean it's just gonna show up at your door two days late within a day or two, like free shipping. Okay, like we need to go to the bar to meet a boy, we need to leave our house to make friends, we need to start the business to make money. Like, I think manifesting has become such a I want it, I got it, Ariana Grande theme song. When it's really more I want it, let's create it. How can I align with it in my thoughts, in my beliefs, in my actions, in my energy on all levels, which is obviously where I like to come into play and help people. But I would say that's the biggest misconception is that just because you want it and you ask nicely, you will receive it. And it's not to say that that can't happen. Like when you are in alignment with things, they do happen easily. But even sometimes when something is your destiny and you are aligned with it and you are going for it, just because it's taking time or you're having to overcome challenges to get there, that doesn't mean it's not happening or it's not meant to be or it's not for you. Because a lot of times we interpret, oh, it's taking too long. That must mean it's not for me, it's never gonna happen. I should give up, I should pivot, blah, blah, blah. And it's does it mean that, or is that the meaning you're assigning to it? Like we need to check our meanings constantly, which is something I write about in the book too.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

Nice, nice. Yeah. Um, I love what you just said because so many things come up, and I didn't want to interrupt you, but sorry, I was on a roll. When you're in the lack, so if you want something, but you're in the energy of not having it, you're not going to manifest it. You have to align, pardon.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Yeah, it's tougher for sure.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

So you have to act as if or feel the energy of having it to manifest it. And what's wild, what you said about like the divine timing, and it could take time, is that last year my word of the year was ease, and I had a really rough year, but this year's actually been that word, but I chose love for this year, and I'm like, ooh, and I'm doing taking all the actions and buying love things and pink and all the things, and it's and I'm feeling it, and I'm taking these aligned actions, but it it literally probably took me a year to have the ease show up. But so what is one small or one simple shift someone can make today's to start aligning with what they want?

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Yeah, so to bring it back to your example, I think that's a beautiful segue into this question. Something I always recommend for people to do, because there's a lot of advice out there to act as if, right? Like it's this big acting game. And I'm like, no, we don't need to act and fake it till we make it. We need to embody. So, how can we actually access the feelings that we want now? Where can we resource those feelings in our life? So, for you, if you were trying to manifest love or a relationship or whatever, it's like, where in my life do I already feel a lot of love? Is it my friends? Is it my family? Is it my pet? Is it my kids? Look to the places where you have the feelings that you want, focus there, cultivate those feelings as much as you can in your body because you're gonna create harmony with those vibrations. And then you're not looking at your life with the big hole, the thing that you want, but you're just noticing how it's not there. Or like with money. Why do we want money? So we can feel safe, so we can feel abundant, so we can feel supported, like those feelings of safety, abundance, and support you can access now if you get creative and look for where they already exist in your life. But what most people do is they turn their manifestations, the things that they want, into conditions that need to be met before they allow themselves to feel how they want to feel. And ultimately, the reason that we want these things and desires is because of a feeling we're trying to access, which if we were just a little more creative and resourceful, we could actually access it right now. We could choose to access it right now. And in doing that, you make the manifestation way more likely because now you're actually a vibrational match to it. And when it comes, it's more of a cherry on top than I need this thing to feel how I want to feel.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

Oh my gosh, yes. So good. So the next question had to do with the role of emotions. How what role does emotions play in a manifestation? And you were speaking on that just now with the feelings.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

Yeah, so I can speak a little more to that. So your feelings are the measurement of your vibration at any given moment, but it's not one vibe is better and one vibe is worse. That's the judgment we place on the feelings and emotions. Obviously, some emotions are more comfortable and enjoyable than others. Some are horrendous and heartbreaking, and we don't want to access those, which is understandable. But the more you can open yourself to all of your feelings, the less resistance you're carrying to like your present moment and your emotional body. And in that non-resistant state, you become open and magnetic to miracles and the things that you're asking for. It's when we're doing, you know, toxic positivity that we think we're feeling good or we're saying good affirmations, but really we're just like pasting a smile over our broken heart or disappointment or whatever. And you're not fooling anyone. You're not fooling yourself, you're not fooling your subconscious mind, you're not fooling the universe, you're not like actually emitting a vibration of happiness. So, how do we come back to a higher vibration? Again, through processing that with love, with compassion. And on the other side, coming into more alignment. So, really, this all comes down to relationships. Like we have relationships with our feelings. I have a relationship to sadness, to happiness. One might be better, one might be worse. We have relationships to our phones, social media, working out, our jobs, like everything in life is a relationship. Money, definitely huge relationship. Obviously, other people in our lives, we relate to them, we relate to our house, we name our cars, everything is a relationship. And when you can realize that and just make your goal to improve all relationships, like, how can I improve my relationship with fear? How can I improve my relationship with my emotions? How can I improve my relationship with my inner child? How can I improve my relationship with my spouse, with my pet, with my kids, with myself? Ultimately, number one relationship. Things get very harmonious, and from there, manifestation becomes much more effortless. In my book, The Manifesting Fix, a lot of it is just here's how to better relate to these parts of ourselves that often get in the way because we have poor relationships with them.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

Is there like internal family systems in there? Like the eye of it?

SPEAKER_01 18:03

Actually, yes. I think it's the first manifesting book to blend internal family systems with this concept because so often we try to go for a goal, but we have an internal part or aspect that's heck no. I ain't trying to do that. I'm not trying to fall in love again. That was a shit show last time. I'm not trying to get more money because rich people are bad, or I saw my uncle, like lose all his lottery goods or whatever. So, yeah, a lot of the blockages that we encounter are different aspects and parts of ourselves that are not on board with the goal. So you need to improve your relationship with them. You need to have a little conversation with them, hear them out. What are they afraid of? What do they need to feel safe? How can we get them on board? And when you can learn how to do that, which is I do teach a little practice for people to do it within a journal to interview their different parts and aspects and get to know them, it's really helpful because you can get everyone on board with the goal, and then you can make it happen without the push-pull energy happening in your mind.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

I love all that because these are subconscious, a lot of these or deep wounds or whatnot. And so self-awareness is like gigantic, right? So sometimes we don't realize we have these beliefs that all rich people are a certain way, and that's gonna block you from becoming rich because you think all rich people are a certain way. That's negative, you know what I mean? So self-awareness is always number one, right?

SPEAKER_01 19:32

To find that out, definitely, and to be open to what you're gonna find. Because I think a lot of people are resistant to being more self-aware because they're scared. Oh my gosh, what am I gonna find when I go exploring my psyche? And it's like the worst stuff that's happened to you has already happened to you. You're not gonna find anything that you're not ready to find that you can't handle, you know. So it's like you're not going into hypnosis, you're not doing nothing crazy, you're just asking yourself questions with curiosity and compassion. Yeah, why do I always self-sabotage on the second date? What am I really afraid of here? And you might have a protector part come to the front and be like, Yeah, that would be me. We don't want to go on any more dates. This is gonna end in misery. And then you have a little conversation, like, okay, why do you insist it's gonna end in misery? This is what we have to do to get what we want. Yeah, it was bad last time. Doesn't mean it's gonna be bad this time. This is a different city, different person, different scenario. Like, you have to almost hold your own hand in your psyche, like the whole time, because you're gonna be encountering blockages, you're gonna be encountering fear. And what I always remind people is anything worth doing that's really like a desire or a seed planted in your heart, it's probably gonna feel scary to some aspect of you or some part of you. And that's normal and okay. We can work through that, we can work with that. You don't have to eradicate your fear, you don't have to make fear of the enemy, you don't have to kick these parts to the curb and cause more damage. We just have to bring everyone together and make all of you feel safe.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

Yes, safe, safety, or at least safer.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

You can come into a lot of parts to get on board without them being totally on board if you give them a backup plan or something like that. Okay, if this doesn't work in six months or whatever, we'll try this, we'll pivot. If something bad does happen, here's how we'll handle it.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

Yeah, amazing. Who are some of your teachers? Is Gabby Bernstein one of your teachers?

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Yeah, she was one of my teachers in the beginning for sure. These days I try to stay like more of an open channel and be less influenced by other people's ideas, especially because I was just writing this book, so I was like, okay, I just want to be a clear channel. I'm not reading anything, I'm not like consuming a lot of stuff, so I can just let it come through how it wants to come through me. Yeah, but I've read so much stuff over the years. I love Tony Robbins, I love Gabby Bernstein, I love Abraham Hicks, I love. So many people, Dr. Joe Vitaly. I've interviewed a lot of amazing people on my podcast, too, like Marie Diamond, Feng Shui. I love Feng Shui. So many good teachers out there, so many amazing perspectives for sure.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

Yeah, I wanted to. You mentioned, let me think. I just lost my train of thought because I didn't want to interrupt again. Dr. Gabby, Tony. Oh, the law of attraction. Did you hear that Abraham Hicks was supposed to be in the movie The Secret? And that she declined. Yeah, because so the law of attraction. Let's talk a little bit about the law of attraction, the law of reception.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

Yeah. It's basically what we've been talking about, but I make it so practical that I don't always need to call it that. So it's like really okay, how are we aligning with our goals? But we can bring it back to the frequency. So for anyone who's newer to the concept of the law of attraction, the theory, the working theory, is that like attracts like. So your energy, your frequency is going to create a lot of your life experience, draw opportunities to you, draw people to you, draw houses to you, cars, whatever. And the whole concept is that you can essentially almost think your way to the life that you want, which there is a lot of truth to that. Obviously, I believe in the law of attraction. I practice it. But I think where people get mixed up is that whole cosmic Amazon approach, like how we talked about. And that we think that using the law of attraction is like, how can I put it? Is like this easy cheat code to life when really the things that you want are usually always going to cause you to become a higher version of yourself, which is usually going to involve some challenge. So it's like the reason you want the relationship is so you can become that next level version of yourself, or you might have your patience tested, or you might have to learn better people skills, or you might have to love yourself more before that person can love you properly. So it's like whenever we have these really big, juicy, dreamy desires, they usually are calling us to become someone more, like more ourselves, our more powerful version of ourselves. So I like to look at it not just as a journey of attracting or even creating, but a journey of becoming is really like the manifesting law of attraction path.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

Yeah, a lot. Like you're amazing. I love you. You're welcome. I love talking to you. Let's talk about the high vibe life, actually. So your podcast and it's not just high vibes, though. We talked about that a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

Yeah, yeah, it's not. The name of the podcast is called High Vibe in it, but we all vibes are welcome. We don't judge the low vibes, we just have compassion for ourselves in those moments so we can come back to a high vibe state and live our high vibe life. So it's not like a good vibes only club, it's more like how can we come back into alignment? How can we live a really self-loving life? How can we follow our dreams? And I actually co-host the podcast with one of my best friends, Lindsay Robinson, who's a hypnotherapist. She's an amazing subconscious mind expert. So I'm like the manifesting self-love author. She's the hypnosis lady, and then we have really cool guests on sometimes. So it's a fun time.

SPEAKER_00 25:21

Yeah, that's amazing. So let's quickly let me think. Because before I started doing the deeper work, I was doing the vibrate, like I had to stay away from negative people. I noticed my own negativity. I realized like I just had to protect my energy and all of that for years. And then four years ago, I moved to Florida. Changed my whole life. I was at an event in Miami and Gina DeV. Do you know who she is, Gina DeVee?

SPEAKER_01 25:50

That name sounds very familiar. Is she a Hay House author?

SPEAKER_00 25:53

She wrote the book, The Audacity to Be Queen, and it has a lot of things in it. Yes, I'm familiar with that. Yeah, her brand is Divine Living. Anyway, so the point is I was at her event, I was in debt. I was struggling my business, real estate business at the time. My son was graduating college. Everything I just said, what's gonna change if I don't take an action? So I went to Miami to this three-day event, and the final night I was washing my hands in this Italian restaurant, and I got this divine, I belong in Florida, I belong here. And everything lined up for me. And I sold my home on 2222 and relocated to Florida and started this coaching and then this podcast. And but all the stuff that needed to be cleared, healed, and resolved showed up in my face. Here I think I'm here, and then I realize who am I? Imposter, who am I to coach women? Blah blah blah. Anyway, and then I've done all the deep work and like for three years was cocooning with the dog in the apartment and then figuring all this stuff out. But why did I say all this? Oh, because I was always like this vibrant like positivity, but I wasn't I didn't learn all the things we're talking about now with the deep healing, the in internal family systems, the shame. I carried shame for many years. So just saying, and that's a really low vibration, and you're not gonna attract much good with that, those kind of feelings. What advice would you give someone who wants to create an abundant life but feels overwhelmed by where to begin?

SPEAKER_01 27:21

Yeah, I would say at that point in your journey, choose authenticity over positivity. Because if you're authentic and you follow your heart and you follow your truth and you listen to yourself and you own your worth and you do all that, you're gonna naturally start to feel better. You're gonna create a good life for yourself. I think that one of the misconceptions, going back to manifesting misconceptions, is like have to be positive all the time, have to think good thoughts all the time. It's no, that works when the positivity is pure and genuine. That's when it's powerful. But if it's forced, it's not doing anything for you, like how we mentioned before. And my first book, it's called hashtag actually I can, and it's like an affirmation Bible for how to use affirmations in an authentic way. Cause I always hated when people said, Oh, just say you're a millionaire a hundred times and it'll happen, or just say you're in a relationship when you're not, and you're like lying to yourself, feeling stupid, feeling like a fraud, and that's not doing anything for you. So instead, you have to dedicate yourself to authenticity and like your highest truth, even if right now it feels not great. Even if your feelings right now are very uncomfortable, they need tending to. They need love. One of the best books I ever read, actually, was by Matt Kahn. It's called Whatever Arises, Love That. And the whole motto is you always deserve more love, not less. And especially in the negative times, especially when you're struggling, especially when you're feeling lost, it's that's the time to open your heart to yourself. You already know how to open your heart, you do it to everyone else all the time, but it's like time to do it to you. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:10

When you're feeling the worst, is when you need the most love from yourself, exactly. Yeah, when you're in when your inner critic is super mean, then you need to give yourself compassion. Like I remember walking my dog, I used to have a terrible inner critic, and I remember walking the dog, and I it was here in Florida, it was next door, and I had the meanest thoughts, and I just sent love. I didn't even know what I was doing, and I just sent love and it was gone within seconds. Yeah, I just sent love, and so I thought that was really powerful. So the book is Matt by Matt Con, Whatever Rises, love that.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

Yeah, I think it's called Whatever Arises or Whatever Rises, love that.

SPEAKER_00 29:54

I love that name.

SPEAKER_01 29:55

That's it's a really good self-love Bible.

SPEAKER_00 29:58

Okay, good. So tell us what is something that you manifested recently, or in your like something you want to share that really surprised you, or something that you manifested that's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Oh my gosh. Probably one of my favorite manifestations to date is my husband, obviously, because I was on the love struggle bus for a while. Let me tell you that whole situation when I was in Ohio, it was like very emotionally abusive. All of the ways that I was mean to myself were manifest in this partner. Okay. So it was all a big mirror reflecting back to me. And all the ways I didn't love myself was reflected to me in my ex. So I would always be so upset if I was depressed, or I would be mad at myself if I was sad, or I would just be impatient with myself if I was having anxiety. This is irrational, this is stupid. Why am I always so anxious? And he was the most anxious, hot mess I had ever met. And it was like life sent me all the parts of myself that I hated, but in a hot Brazilian body with abs, so that I would be attracted to it and have patience for it and learn to love it. And then my life was like, okay, so if you can love him with all his problems, why don't you love yourself? You're literally the same. Why are you loving these aspects of him and you can't love them in you? So it was like I had to learn that lesson through that dysfunctional relationship. And yeah, my inner critic was made manifest in that person for sure. And on the other side of that, when I finally the universe basically ripped that guy out and was like, lesson's over, you learned your lesson, ripped him out. I was just like, oh my gosh, I have such a bad picker. How can I ever love again? I thought he was cool, he was horrible. I never want to go through that again. And so I had to do a lot of inner work before I could meet my husband because I had to learn how to trust people again. I had to learn how to trust myself again, I had to learn boundaries, I had to learn not to just go with the whims of whatever whoever has abs. Like I had to really learn a lot of life lessons.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

And how long did it take you for the all the lessons and the healing and to get to your house?

SPEAKER_01 32:10

A couple of months, only a couple of months after that. Because I had some other love failures before, so I guess a couple of years.

SPEAKER_00 32:16

So he was like the last X was the finale, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:19

That was the grand finale before I met my husband. Yeah. So after that, I was like, okay, I'm ready to call in a healthy love, right? Healthy call in my person who actually loves me and is nice to me and true to me well.

SPEAKER_00 32:34

And how long have you been married? And how long have you been married?

SPEAKER_01 32:36

We've been married now almost three years in May.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Oh, wow, congrats. And where did you meet online?

SPEAKER_01 32:43

Or we technically did match through Bumble, which is funny because my husband doesn't like when I tell people that. He's like, Don't tell them. I'm like, that's literally how everyone meets everybody, yeah. It's fine, but it's funny because I saw his picture, and I'm very psychic, so I can tell a lot about people from a picture, and I was like, kind soul, gentle giant, kind eyes. I was like feeling the warmth. So I just reached out to him and I was like, Hey, it looks like we like all the same stuff. Going to yoga tomorrow if you want to come. And I just invited him to yoga, he said yes. And obviously, you don't talk in yoga, so we're just like sweating next to each other for an hour, and then we went across the street to Whole Foods and we were just talking, we could not stop talking. And my husband, he's like a nervous chatter box, so he would not really not stop talking. And it was right before COVID that we met, and then the lockdowns happened in March, and then we were just like pretty much inseparable ever since because couldn't hang out with anyone else, couldn't do anything else. And then we ended up getting married two about two years after that.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

Oh, I love your story. That's awesome. What does he do for work? Thanks. What does he do for work?

SPEAKER_01 33:48

He used to play professional football, but is now a commercial real estate agent.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

Oh, okay, good for him. Um, so if let's see, so if listeners take just one thing away from this conversation, what do you hope it is?

SPEAKER_01 34:04

I think the best theme that we keep touching on is that self-love is such an important piece. And I know people are probably rolling their eyes, like, oh, everyone always tells me I need to love myself more. It's hard, it's frustrating. Yes, it's a practice, yes, it's a journey, but it's so wonderful.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

It's so unlocked.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

Everything it will make like I said about life being all relationships, when you improve your relationship with yourself, every other relationship becomes easier. You attract better people, you attract better partners, you attract more money, you attract better opportunities. Every single era of your life has a glow up when you start to choose yourself first. And one of the most practical things that people can do if they're like, okay, but where do I actually start? Like, how do I do it? I just say, start with the question: what would someone who loves themselves do? All day, every day, any decision you're trying to make. If you're like, should I move across the country? Should I move to Italy? Ask yourself that question. If you're like, should I have a salad for lunch? Ask yourself that question. Or thinking, should I keep working or should I shut my laptop? Ask yourself that question. And then act on the answer that's true for you in that moment, and you will become a self-loving person. You might not feel it in the first five minutes, but over a couple days, a couple months, if you live yourself by that question, yeah, you will be a very self-loving person.

SPEAKER_00 35:31

Yeah, no, for sure. I've been on the journey, the self-love journey, and it's so incredible. Like falling in love with yourself and just noticing where you're still people pleasing, or you're and then you just say, What is the next most loving thing I can do? And it's so beautiful, it really is a beautiful unfolding when it happens. So I have a one last question. If you could go back and speak to your younger self when you were struggling or searching, what would you say to her? Probably to love herself.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

Yes, but I would tell her that the like struggle that she's in is not going to last forever. Because one of the biggest lies that washes over you when you're depressed and suicidal, what makes you suicidal is the thought that this is gonna be the rest of my life, like this is gonna last forever, that I'm never gonna feel better. So then you're like hopeless, but it's not true. So I would tell her like, don't listen to that lie. This is just a temporary initiation that has to happen for you to become who you want to be, who you're becoming, in order for you to fulfill your role as a healer and a teacher and an author. So it sucks, but it will not suck forever.

SPEAKER_00 36:48

Oh, that's so great. Oh my goodness. Okay, last question, and then we'll find out where everyone can find you. What does living a truly abundant and aligned life mean to you today?

SPEAKER_01 37:00

I feel like living an abundant and aligned life to me is ruthlessly and unapologetically creating your own heaven on earth, whatever that is to you. So that involves a lot of following your heart, listening to your inner nudges, being true to yourself. If you're doing that, that's beautiful, that's amazing. And it's gonna look so different for different people because everyone has a different path. Their life is gonna look different, but it's gonna feel kind of similar signature vibration of like fulfillment, purpose, satisfaction, contentment, full of love, full of connection. So for me, that's what it is like being really true to yourself and just creating your own heaven on earth, especially during these crazy times when it seems like everything's so crazy and everyone's lost their mind, and it's the end of the world. This is actually more important than ever to live your best life and create your little safety bubble, nervous system nurturing, homestead, slow, soft life, whatever you're trying to create, do it, do it.

SPEAKER_00 38:09

Yeah. Do you watch the news, Kelsey?

SPEAKER_01 38:12

My husband watches the market news a lot, so it's on in my house, like more like CNBC and squawk on the street and stuff like that. But to me, politics is a lot of theater. It's two birds or it's two wings of the same bird. So I don't really get into it when it's on. I'm just like, oh, they're doing their WWE again. They're putting on the show, they're trying to manipulate people to think a certain way or feel fear or feel separation.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

Yeah, you're 100%. Yeah, I just wondered if you watched it because a lot of people in my world do not, because we get it through social media or wherever, but we don't watch it because it's too negative and draining and fear-based. Yeah. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 38:54

And we weren't designed to like, sorry, not to interrupt you, but just to add to your point, like, we weren't designed to take in all the atrocities of the world all at once. Like our brain can only process local stuff. So if you're like always tuned in to the woes of the world, and that's lowing your vibration, making you feel bad and making you feel guilty, you're not actually adding to the collective healing. You're adding more to the collective healing if you are living your best life and you're empowered. Because from a state of empowerment, maybe you can actually do something to help.

SPEAKER_00 39:28

You're amazing. I love you. I'm gonna get your book when it comes out. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, so I'm excited. Tell everybody where they can find you. And is there anything else you want to share?

SPEAKER_01 39:39

And then yeah, so everyone can find me at Kelseya.com. I'm Kelsey Aida on all the social networks. My new book, The Manifesting Fix, is already available for pre-sale. So definitely pre-order it, even though it doesn't come out till December. So I know that's a bummer. But anyone who orders on pre-sale, you guys can get lots of bonuses and stuff from me, which I'm still creating, but it's gonna be on my website. So Kelseyaidaida.com, you'll find all that. The book, resource it. It's such a good resource. It's been like a decade in the making that I wrote it with so much love and channeling of all the goodies and divine answers and wisdom for everyone. And obviously, High Vibinant is a great free resource since your listeners like podcasts. Go listen to High Vibinant, subscribe. And I think that's it for now. I do have a Substack for anyone who's on Substack or likes email newsletters where I'm always writing personal essays and how-to's. And it's actually called Aligned and Abundant, which is why I was like very gravitated towards your podcast of where the inabundant because like oh my god on the same page. So the aligned and abundant Substack is another good place to hang out with me.

SPEAKER_00 40:47

Awesome. Thank you so much. This was amazing. I loved having you, and I'd love to be a guest on the high vibe and podcast. Think about it.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

Yeah, I'll pitch my co-host Lindsay and see if we have any spots. I know we're like booked up for a while, but let me try and coordinate something and I'll send an email and I'll I'm excited to share it once it comes out. Sounds good. Thanks, Kelsey. Have a great one. Bye. Thanks, Linda. Have a good one. Bye.