AuDHD: When Autism and ADHD Collide. Week 2 of 2 with Raeleigh Kemp

If you have ever sat in a church service thinking, “Why can’t I just hold it together,” this conversation is for you. We get honest about neurodiversity and mental health in real life, where good intentions are not enough and belonging has to be built on purpose. 

Rayleigh Kemp joins us again to talk about raising her son Zane with autism and ADHD, and what churches can do to become sensory friendly without making families feel like a problem to manage. We dig into practical inclusion: a quiet space with softer lighting, earplugs at the door, permission to worship from the foyer, and ministry teams who come to a person instead of forcing a high pressure walk to the front. Along the way we challenge the silent rules that label regulation as “disrespect,” especially when headphones or an iPad are the very tools that help a dysregulated nervous system settle. 

We also zoom out to school pressure, burnout, and the power of diagnosis. Rayleigh explains hypervigilance, masking, anxiety, and why “lazy” can actually be overwhelm and ADHD. We talk about how accommodations and self knowledge can restore hope, and why discipling kids does not have to be heavy: reading Scripture together, letting questions come when they come, and keeping prayer normal in everyday moments. 

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Transcript

Belonging Lens For Church

Dave Quak 0:00

Well, welcome to Sunburn's Souls. My name's Dave Quack, and on this show we speak about life and faith and our mental well-being. And Rayleigh Kemp is still here this week. Got it back for week two. Rayleigh, thank you for coming back to Sunburn's Souls. How are you?

SPEAKER_02 0:14

I'm great. Thanks for having me back.

Dave Quak 0:16

It's my pleasure, it's my pleasure. I love this because last week we got to hear a little bit more about your story, about the hero Zane, that is your youngest son, how he, you know, goes about school and what his life like is there at the awesome Sycamore School. So shout out to them.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

Shout out.

Dave Quak 0:33

Shout out to the Sycamore crew. But today, I wanna we towards the end of last week, we started talking about the institutional kind of implications of having a son with autism and ADHD, and just starting to brainstorm about things we might be able to do better for people who are struggling in their mental well-being and in, you know, specifically sacred spaces like church and how to handle it, you know. Say you're in church and it's quiet and someone blows up, how big a deal is that? Yeah, you know, and what can we do to help people? And one thing I want to mention is um you mentioned last week some people are starting to get on the creative space, which I think is a good start. Where, you know, if you can picture maybe even like a normal mama bear's um feeding room where there's you know couches and soft lighting, you can turn the um volume of the TV up and down and you know, make it more sensory kind of friendly. I think that's the best start. But you mentioned last week as well that it's not only about spaces, it's about practices. Yeah. You know, so say there's an altar call of some sort, instead of the prayer team asking Zane to come to the front, they'll come to Zane down the back. And those things are helpful. What else you got in the in the in the quiver? What else is in your mind?

SPEAKER_02 1:48

Oh gosh. Um, look, I think it's about taking time to consider um considering other people and considering what might be difficult for people. Because we're not gonna we're not gonna know everything intricately about every single person, okay? So I think it's like let's look big picture and go, okay, if somebody was struggling with anxiety, um, like crippling anxiety, would would that be something that's easy for them to do to come to the front? Well, no, it it's actually probably the last thing that they feel like it's terri probably terrifying. To be honest, it's probably used everything they've had to even get to church. Um so what can we do to make uh them b know that they belong here? Um and I think it's just about looking through a belonging lens for for anything really. Like, you know, we have people at our church who are sensory sensitive to the sound of the music, like the the the pitch of the music or the loudness of it or whatever. So we have earplugs at the door that they can grab. And that's just a little thing that says, you matter, we want you here.

SPEAKER_03 3:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

And we know this is hard for you, so this is what we're doing to help you. Um you know, there's one gentleman who doesn't come in for the worship, he sits in the foyer and he worships, but in the foyer where it's less confronting for him. Yeah. And then he comes in for the message. So there's no judgment around that. So I think it's just those things that you can do to help people know that they matter.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

Um, and be intentional about them. And obviously you're not going to be able to do that for every single little thing.

SPEAKER_03 3:38

Yeah.

When Systems Fit Only Some

SPEAKER_02 3:39

But you know, I used to say, or actually it was a friend of mine that used to say this that what benefits the neurodivergent world benefits everyone. Because ultimately we're human. Um and if we're showing empathy and making attempts to make people feel like they belong, that that's actually only going to benefit everybody. Because what when you know, the church, what are we trying to do to say, come in, you're welcome here. So let's do things that look through that broader lens of going, how can we help everyone that walks through these doors feel like they belong here?

Dave Quak 4:17

Yeah, it's huge. Because it is really designed for typical people who, you know, it's like, okay, so for example, my daughter at school, um, she was more than happy to sit in rows, listen for six hours a day, come home, get A pluses. Yeah. But for my son, that's not just a it's not just annoying, it's virtually impossible. It's like I he can't not look around and he can't not get distracted, and then he'll get in trouble for something he isn't exactly um able to control. His prefrontal cortex is still developing. There's so many layers to it all.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Yeah. And human development, like when you really look at human development and look at what is developmentally appropriate for different ages, and you actually start to really look at that, a lot of what is expected of children in schools is outrageous to be honest.

SPEAKER_03 5:09

Oh, it's brutal.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

It is, and it does. Like development has a huge, huge thing to do with it. Um, definitely needs to be considered for sure.

Dave Quak 5:17

Yeah, I still remember double English was coming up. Oh. And there's 70 minute periods. And so you're like 140 minutes of sitting there talking about Shakespeare is going to kill anyone.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Yeah. A hundred percent. And you know, I love that like there are places that are going, okay, we need to get some energy out. We need to, okay, let's go have a drink, break, or whatever. Great.

SPEAKER_03 5:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:39

And that's great. But doesn't necessarily look a stressed uh a nervous system that is in sensory overload or overwhelm or cannot physiologically learn.

Dave Quak 5:52

Yes. Yeah, no, you're correct.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

They're sitting there stressed about even having to sit still and not wanting to get into trouble and having to sit in their uncomfortable long socks and their long shorts and their tucked-in shirt and oh your shirts out tucked back in and and all the different things that are expected of kids. Um the overwhelm of even just being there at school, for example, is a lot. Straight up. Let alone having to sit like that in something that, you know, think about for an ADHD child. If they don't if they're not interested in it, it is almost impossible to get them to buy into it.

SPEAKER_03 6:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

You know? Yeah. Um and so and then they're getting into trouble because they can't do that. So be you know, there's this world isn't made for people that aren't in the box, really.

Dave Quak 6:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Um, as a general rule.

Dave Quak 6:47

No, that's right. And prayerfully churches catch up because it does matter. Like it's not just like, okay, so what do I think happens maybe sometimes with even just mental illnesses? People in church who don't quite understand don't understand why that person can't just shut up or stop it, or be quiet, or sit and listen. And all these things that are like they'll be, oh, just be quiet. Just be quiet. I mean, if you can't be quiet, that's a very big request. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like it's like saying to a short dude, just be taller. Yeah. You know, I can't just be taller. You know, like I don't have the physical capacity right now to grow myself. Yeah. Like right now I'm I'm struggling with this and I've got to sit in that. Yeah. You know, it sounds like you're making strides in your world with this stuff, Rayleigh. Like there are, you know, it sounds like there's people taking it on board and listening and changing.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

Yeah, I mean, it's not just it's not really me. I I have to say, like, there's amazing people at our church who have um work have worked in you know this inclusive spaces in different schools too, and are very passionate about it. Um, you know, obviously my last few years have been really caught up in being a mum to my um family. Um I was in s serving at church for such a long time and it got to a point where I was actually mentally unwell um and I had to pull off. Um I was a little bit before that, but uh I pulled out of my um ministry role that I was doing because I was struggling to do my job while I was at church, but also make sure that my eight-year-old at the time wasn't running around the foyer punching everyone because he needed some deep sensory input. Um, and I was struggling to do both. And so I had to pull off that and just focus on being a mum. Um, not just being a mum, but only on that. And um and then a little while after that I had my own mental break down and um had to have a rest from even serving, um, which has actually been incredibly restorative.

SPEAKER_03 8:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

Um and it's been a really good time of God um going, it's okay to not do that now.

Dave Quak 9:09

Yeah, okay, not to serve for a bit. Yeah, yeah. What what did the mental breakdown look like?

SPEAKER_02 9:14

Um for me, it okay, so last year I was diagnosed with ADHD.

SPEAKER_03 9:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

Um, and it was incredibly, first of all, unsurprising. Everyone in my world's like, yeah, no joke. Um, shocking. Um But it was actually, it was quite it was liberating, but also confronting. Because it was like, oh man, this is really changing. Um not changing, but making me look back and reflect on my life and who I actually who am I? Like um and am I because I realized I'd actually been living in hypervigilance and masking my whole life.

Dave Quak 10:00

Can you explain those two?

SPEAKER_02 10:01

Yes. So hypervigilance is really where your nervous system is just on high alert all the time. Um our nervous system is there to keep us safe, you know, like um anxiety is created by a God for in our bodies to keep us safe. If you think about um, you know, fight or flight or fright, um, you know, it's there that if a bear comes, some of us are going to freeze, fight, flight, fright, freeze. Some of us are gonna freeze um and just stand really still because we are physically immobilized by our anxiety. Some of us will take the bolt and run when hard things come. Um, some of us will go into battle. Um, and we have different things for different times, different needs. It was created to keep us safe. Like it's how, you know, people didn't get eaten by bears, you know, like we're not just gonna, we know we have to run now. Um it's there to keep us safe. But um, you know, as humans, we have experiences in our lives that um, you know, throw us off course. And sometimes if our nervous system is just constantly on all the time, um, it gets stuck there. And um I realize that I had been stuck there for most of my life for varying things. Um and when I look back, I can see where uh things that I wasn't able to do or that would I would try to do and do badly. Um I would see like I always wondered I was such a terri I'm terrible housekeeper. I'm terrible at it. Ask my family, they'll all laugh at you.

Dave Quak 11:42

Um that's why you were gracious when you walked in here and we had stuff everywhere. It's just normal.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

I have zero expectation of people because I'm I I know what it's like, right? I I get crippled by procrastination. It I and it's not that I love a tidy house, but I look at all of the things that I need to get done, and it is so overwhelming for me, I cannot even I don't even know where to start, so I just don't.

SPEAKER_03 12:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

Okay. So things like that, I'd look back and go, man, why was I so bad at that? I'm so lazy, I'm so this, I'm so bad, I'm d b all these negative things. But I look back and that made sense. It's like, oh, that's why, because people with ADHD, that's really normal to feel overwhelmed by small tasks and boring ones. And let's be real, housework is fine.

SPEAKER_03 12:31

So boring as it gets.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

Right? And it I need fun. I need I need the dopamine hit.

SPEAKER_03 12:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

Um so that's that was one of the things. I also look back, I had chronic fatigue about, I don't know, probably 25 years ago. Um, I now look back and go, I think that was actually a burnout. That was actually burnout where my nervous system was just screaming at me and my body couldn't keep up anymore.

SPEAKER_03 12:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

Um I've had when big things happen in my life, like big emotional things, my ability to be able to navigate those things is really low. I get in I'm very motivated by emotions, like they will overcome me and overwhelm me. Um, and because I had been holding that all in for so long, when something big happens every, you know, however long, um there comes a point where I just can't pretend anymore. And it overflows out of me and I end up spiralling. And so there's been a number of those probably in the past I don't know, 10 years, um, particularly where I've noticed them. Um but they came with a crippling, a big event that will cause me to plummet. Um, I will get incredibly anxious. Um probably something a year ago left me feeling incredibly depressed where I ended up um nearly in a in a hospital.

SPEAKER_03 14:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

Um, because I was just, I could not, it affected me so deeply. Things affect my emotions, run so deep that they become um too heavy. Um and I think now that I have this diagnosis, I look and I go, I actually know now to show myself grace in those times where I couldn't before. I was I was like, what is wrong with them? It's so dramatic. I'm so all of the negative things that I've ever heard about myself. You're a lot, you're intense. Um why do you always say things are too much for you? Because they are.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

Because they are.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

Because they are.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

Yeah, because it's too much for me.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

Um, I'm not trying to be annoying.

SPEAKER_03 14:48

Yeah.

How Diagnosis Brings Self Grace

SPEAKER_02 14:48

It's but now I know that it's actually real. They are too much for me. Yeah. And I do have to monitor that. Yeah.

Dave Quak 15:33

It's good you've got the self-awareness for it though. You know, because sometimes we'll just keep hammering ourselves and hammering ourselves. So I had a similar kind of like happiness when I got diagnosed with bipolar, because once I read the symptoms and behaviours and all that, it's just it it framed it. It was like, okay, this is what I'm dealing with, and that's why I feel like this, and that's what is happening now.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

It's amazing, hey. And I think people talk a lot about, oh, I don't want to label them. Like I I understand what they're saying, I get that. But I also I disagree a lot because I think it's not about the label for me. It's actually about when I when we knew that Zane was ADHD, um, that he had anxiety, that he was autistic. Yeah, we got the diagnosis, but it then allowed us to understand him better. And it's the same for me, and same because now there I've been diagnosed, my daughter's been diagnosed, to be honest. I think my secondborn, he he's sure he's autistic ADHD. Um and I am I'm sure too, he's very similar kind of stuff, and even as a little person, really similar to Zane. And uh and he's to come home from school even when he was in primary school and just melt down and lose it. And um he struggled with self-worth and I'm useless, and why I don't belong here, and nobody, you know, everyone hates me and I don't blame them. And the self-loathing comes because you feel like you are that you're not worth it. Because you can't do all of the things necessarily that everyone else can. Um so the label is important because it helped me go. I have a my brain is different, my brain has is ADHD, and all these things that I couldn't do, that I beat myself up because I couldn't do now make sense. Now it's like I now know why I struggled with that, and that's okay, and it's all right. Um and now I show grace myself and far out. I'm studying a degree now that I never thought I would do. Um I never thought I could do it. But now because I've got this diagnosis of ADHD, I get um I've got a disability certificate, so I get more time to process and things that I found difficult before. Um I now have space to take longer if I need to. Yeah, and there's understanding around and when I do feel like today's too much, I give myself grace for that. And I take my family now know mum needs a minute. Yeah. Like um and I wouldn't have known that if I didn't get I would I don't think there would have been that kindness shown from myself to myself um if I hadn't have gotten that diagnosis.

Regulation Tools Without Shame

Dave Quak 18:28

That's right. Which is so crazy in the sense that like if your loved one was in a wheelchair and they took longer to get up to the auditorium. Yeah. Or whatever, wherever they're going, they just took longer. Yeah. You wouldn't have no, you'd have to be a complete horrible person to be like, Oi, hurry up. You know what I mean? But that's the way that they are living right now. And then for some of us with mental health conditions, the way we live means we need an extension on the essay. Means we you know. Yeah. And it's the same thing.

unknown 19:02

Yeah.

Dave Quak 19:02

Do you know what I mean? I think that's the strange thing. It's literally the same principle, but we don't extend the same grace when it's something we can't see nearly as nearly as much. Like before you mentioned that Zane takes his headphones into um into church. If someone did that at my church, I couldn't care less. I wouldn't even notice. I would just be like I w I honestly wouldn't notice. But there still are some places where they're like that's seen as like disrespectful.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

Why? Oh, and even judgment about the iPad. Like Zane for him, um, okay, he still struggles like every other child with limits on screens. Okay. I'm not excusing. Okay, and we still have to monitor that. But for Zane and for many autistic ADHD kids, yeah, um, screens actually are extremely regulating to their nervous system because they can control that. And so um, and often what happens when they're dysregulated, which is not having um a control over your nervous system, pretty much the the thinking part of the brain has shut down because your body is in um an anxious state, which means the amygdala, which is the feeling part of the brain, is on like firing on all cylinders, trying to keep you safe. Okay, so if I say dysregulated, that's what it means. And my first son's probably laughing at me now. Oh mum, is the dog dysregulated? He makes fun of me all the time. Anyway, that's for you, Zach. And um, but when he's dysregulated, the iPad is actually the most efficient and quickest way for him to regulate his body and his nervous system. Now, we let him take his iPad into church, which by the way, with my I call them a first lot of kids, my big kids, I would never have done that. Yeah. Never. I would have, if they couldn't go to kids church, I would have made them sit beside me. And I'm really thankful that God's given me a second chance to actually do this different. Um but he brings his iPad into church. He will often have a headphone off one side and he can tell you what the message has been. But he can sit there and he um plays Minecraft or does whatever in church. And I would rather him be in the house with his headphones and his iPad than not able to come at all. That's right. And so for us, it's a win to get him to church. Yeah. To be honest. Um so little things like that, um, I've really had to change, and Stuart, we've had to change the way we've parented because and the expectations that are on parents of what is the right thing to do.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

Yeah.

Discipling Kids With Less Pressure

SPEAKER_02 21:48

Um, we've I was just saying to a friend earlier today, I really have had to not care about what people think about about how I parent now. Like once upon a time, I used to really I was I used to really care what my kids I I would care about what my kids would say about me. Do you know what I mean? Like if they were misbehaving and inverted commas um or whatever. But now I know A, that behavior is just um a symptom of something else that's going on underneath. So what's going on underneath, and how can I meet that need in my child so that they feel safe and so that our relationship stays maintained and I can love him the best way that I can. And if that means allowing him to come to church with his headphones and his iPad, then I'm gonna do that. Um and you know, I'm sure people have their thoughts about that and that's fine. Yeah. I'll do me, you do you. Well that's right, on that one for sure.

Dave Quak 22:54

Because you know he's hard. Yeah. Rayleigh, you've mentioned a bit about the church side of things, but just we we w what's what advice or how have you had some wins discipling Zane? Do you know what I mean? Like because I imagine it's different to your your big three?

SPEAKER_02 23:10

Actually, it's funny because I think that my big three are actually more similar. They're all similar in like more ways than they're different, to be honest. Yeah. Um I think all of my kids actually have an innate connection with the Holy Spirit. Um a couple of my older kids um aren't in church right now. Um and they still know, they still know, but they still ask me to pray and you know, they still know. Um, but I think all of them have a really profound relationship with the Holy Spirit that they may not even know about right now.

SPEAKER_03 23:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

Um because when they were little, they were all really sensitive to the talk of spiritual things, and they would not it I it was almost too confronting for them. And I think as of they've all gotten older, and Zane is too, um it's because they're all highly sensitive and the Holy Spirit's so unpredictable, um they they almost are like, oh, we don't quite know what to do with this. Like we know he's there, but oh, this is like so it can be quite confronting for Zane to have spiritual conversations at times. And what I have learned about him and the others is that when they want to talk about it, they'll talk about it. And so we'll have conversations at certain times about different things, but having deep conversations, theological conversations all the time doesn't happen in my home. Um A, because we're not really theological kind of people, um, and there's more banter in my house than most things.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_02 25:00

Um however, they all know that God loves them. They all know that he created them, they all know that they're made um, you know, in his image. Um and yes, we've all struggled with that at different times. Um but having the deep conversations are always a little tricky. However, what I have found as of late, and I've been challenged, is I just started reading the Old Testament to Zayn. Because I think straight into Leviticus. Heavy, heavy. No, no. I I started reading, I thought, you know what, I'm just gonna read some stories that like they're hardcore, man. The Old Testament's hardcore, right?

SPEAKER_03 25:38

It so is.

SPEAKER_02 25:39

Um, you know, there's there's concubines and murdering and you know, all sorts of like people taking out their kids, all sorts of stuff. Um, and so I just opened the Bible and started reading it, and it was amazing. Like he he was like, What? There's mum, there's this in the Bible. And I thought, this is actually what I need to be doing is just reading him the word, yeah, believing that it's alive, believing that it will impact him and be in his spirit and in his soul, and that God will use it when he needs to and grow it when he needs to. And um I think if I I think I had so much pressure on myself to get that bit right, yeah, that I didn't do great at it. But I think now the less pressure there is and the more normal it can be, um, I think that seems to be the best way to do it with Zane is just get into the word, read it, and if he has a question, he asks it.

SPEAKER_03 26:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

Um and you know what, if he can't hear it one night, that's okay. There's just no pressure about it. Because again, there are different things that he can handle at different times.

Dave Quak 26:42

I love that. Because we do put ourselves under a lot of pressure to make sure we've discipled the kids, right? But I like what you started with when you I said, How do you do it? And you said, you said they've all got something real going on with the Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

Yeah, and you know, they might not know it, Dave.

Dave Quak 26:57

No, but the Holy Spirit, you know, he's the only one who can get through all of our quirks and idiosyncrasies and even our divergences and everything else. He's he speaks the language of every human.

Counseling Support And New Day Therapies

SPEAKER_02 27:08

He does, yeah. And I um and you know, God's just part of who we are at home. And so nothing's strange. Like the other day, um one of my son's girlfriends woke up and said, Rayleigh, I had a dream. I had a dream last night, and she told me about the dream. And I said, mate, that's God. Like that's God telling you that. I think he needs you to do this. And she goes, I thought that I needed to do that too. She's not a believer, she doesn't um, you know, know Jesus yet. But she was like, I felt like that too. And I was like, I've been praying for that. I've been praying that that would happen. Yeah, and she was like, Oh wow, thanks, you know. So I just think the more normal I can I've always prayed for car parks, Dave. Like, I it's stupid, I always so dumb. But I just like God, give we need a car park. I'd love it. I know it sounds dumb, but God, we need a car park. And he he gives us a car park, and I thank him for it. Like just trying to keep it as normal as possible because that's all I can manage. That's all I can do, to be honest.

Dave Quak 28:07

Well, he's the God of everything, he's in all creation. Like, I know people rip on the car park people. I I rip I rip back on the anti-car park people because you can literally ask for anything.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

He's with me all day. Like He's didn't mean with me in the car parks.

Dave Quak 28:22

It's like, oh, God's not interested in the menial things. Um rubbish. Pretty much he is. He's like everywhere all the time. All the time.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

You know, you know, he cares about that's why he said have a childlike faith.

Dave Quak 28:32

Yeah, it's true, man. Kids know, man.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

Yeah.

Dave Quak 28:34

Rayleigh, it's been so epic. These last two weeks have really filled my soul. You know, like I've loved hearing from you. Um if people want to get in contact with you, are you a qualified counsellor already?

SPEAKER_02 28:45

Yeah, I am. Yeah. Do you want clients or should we? Yeah, I actually have a website that is still under construction, but my email is up and running. The website's under construction because I'm busy studying.

Dave Quak 28:59

No, that's okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

Um, but I do have an Instagram um account.

Dave Quak 29:03

Do you want to do you remember your handle?

SPEAKER_02 29:04

Yeah, I do. It's New Day Therapies.

Dave Quak 29:07

Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_02 29:08

Um, yeah. That was free. Yes. It was.

Dave Quak 29:11

In the whole world with billions of people, that was free.

SPEAKER_02 29:14

I prayed and he showed me day. There it is.

Dave Quak 29:16

New Day Therapies.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

New Day Therapies, and um I can send you a a link anyway.

Dave Quak 29:21

We'll put it in the show notes, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

But yeah, for sure. And if if people you know want to reach out, that's great. Um I'm doing the best I can with keeping up on top of all of that at the moment.

Dave Quak 29:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:31

But I do believe that God brings me the people that I need to see, right? So that's great.

Dave Quak 29:36

Well, you got texted when you turned up here, someone wanting to get something. I did, I did. Well, God's obviously using you, and I think you've got a specific edge that not everybody's got. Like your experience crossed with your qualifications is going to m make you extremely helpful to someone. Like I imagine if I had children with the same things happening, I'd I'd get a session off you for sure.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

Yeah, and I think part of my passion was with taking this extra study was wanting to walk with families, because often children get the support in different ways.

SPEAKER_03 30:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:09

Um, but that road of diagnosis for kids fa for vulnerable families is like hectic stressful.

SPEAKER_03 30:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

And you work so hard to even get your child to school and then to even get them in the door, and then you go to the car and just collapse because it's taken every ounce of energy and more that you've had to even get your child to the car or even out of the car.

SPEAKER_03 30:36

Yeah.

Prayer And Final Blessing

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Or even with their shoes on, or e you know, even the little things. So I think, you know, God's really placed a soft part of my heart for families going through that because I just remember I had people around me, um, and I have some amazing friends that have also walked this road who are incredible, who I couldn't do life without. But not everybody has that. And there were still moments when I felt so alone. I'm like, I felt like I was screwing it up. I how do we end up here? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with my kid? All these things. And, you know, they're moments of weakness, but if I can provide encouragement to somebody else who's walking through that, you know, I'd love that. Um, but even people who have mental struggles like and who are struggling with mental health or just need a chat, or um, yeah, I'm I'm working in that pastoral care and counseling kind of area at the moment. Um because I don't want to really put it in a box right now. I'm obviously a member of the professional associations and stuff that I have to be and I'm ethical. Um, but I also hold it really loosely um to create an environment where anyone can approach and get what they need, you know?

Dave Quak 31:53

Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Um, well, Rayleigh Kemp.

SPEAKER_02 31:58

Yes.

Dave Quak 31:59

It's been a pleasure.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

Thank you.

Dave Quak 32:00

Would you please pray for us and uh we'll finish up on a high note after hanging out with you. So thank you.

SPEAKER_02 32:07

Thanks, Dave. All right, well, let's pray. Uh Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for this opportunity today to have a chat and a conversation about neurodivergence and mental health and church and school and all the different things that we've talked about over the past couple of weeks. And Father, we just thank you that you have created each one of us so uniquely in your image. And we thank you that you have a plan and a purpose for everyone's life, every person's life. And no matter whether it fits this earthly box that has been created around us or not, we know that you are the creator of all things and that you can use anybody's story and turn it into the most beautiful thing. And so, Father, we thank you that you love us so much that you want to see us live an abundant and flourishing life. We thank you for our differences and we thank you for our weaknesses. Um, they bring hard times, but if we don't have the hard times, you know, I love the the verse in your word that says, in our weakness your strength comes into its own, and we have to have the weakness to be able to be able to be in that space. And so I am thankful for my weaknesses, many of them, and um ask that you would just show up in our everyday lives, that you would give us opportunities to learn more and grow more. You know, I think I said last week, when we learn more, when we we know better, we do better. We have to do better. So we ask that you would create opportunities for us to do that. That you would be with us, giving us eyes to see, empathy for people around us, um, and hearts that shine Jesus wherever we go. So, Father, I thank you for Dave and the amazing things that that you're doing with him in this podcast. I pray that you would bless him and bless his family. And um I just thank you so much for the conversation that we've been able to have today. In your name, amen.

Dave Quak 34:25

Amen.