Ep 37 I come clean with sh*t

Diane talks about why she hasn't been terribly consistent with podcasts lately. She's tried to hide it, but it didn't work.

www.dianebrandonmoody.com/50-places

Transcript

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Diane Brandon Moody: Hello, everybody. This is Diane Brandon, Moody here. And we're talking 50, something, love.

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Diane Brandon Moody: the podcast about love and dating, especially for people over 50. So this time I am coming clean. That's what I said I'd do, and that's what I'm doing.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So buckle up. It's a little bit of a story, but I think it'll explain a lot of things for you. 1st of all.

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Diane Brandon Moody: My elderly mother, she's now 86. Has dementia moved in with us in December. It was my turn. There's 5 siblings. It was my turn.

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Diane Brandon Moody: and so we took her in, and at 1st it was pretty easy. She didn't remember things for very long, but

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Diane Brandon Moody: she was no trouble. She enjoyed getting up watching her favorite shows, really loves my husband. So she was playing a lot of cards, etc.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And then in March she started having back problems, and we didn't know it. But she kind of caused those back problems by sliding out of bed onto the floor, thinking that it would be easier to get up off the floor than out of bed. This is kind of wacky. She's not terribly mobile.

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Diane Brandon Moody: but somehow, I mean dementia. That's that's what it's about, isn't it? It's about wackiness.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, anyway, her back started hurting long story short and fast forward a bit.

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Diane Brandon Moody: She had done this bed trick 2 more times.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Luckily the 1st 2 times my husband was there to help her back into bed. His office is across the hall, and he goes to bed later than I do. I was already sound asleep.

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Diane Brandon Moody: so he was able to help her. The 3rd time we had put a doorbell on her night table so that she could use it whenever she needed help. So she did, scared the living bejesus out of us, but we got out there and got her back in. Then her back started hurting her very, very, very badly.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Long story short, she fractured her. L. 4 vertebra.

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Diane Brandon Moody: We had already planned a trip to Hawaii for 2 weeks. I have a good friend who lives on the big island, who offers his guest cottage to us anytime. We want it

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Diane Brandon Moody: for no charge, and as long as we want it. So we had already planned to go just to get away and relax and have some fun with friends.

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Diane Brandon Moody: See the volcano? We weren't even all that active. We did a lot of just hanging out, and we enjoyed it.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So my brother was here, and we didn't even hit the gate did not even hit the gate, and my brother called to say, Mom fell in the shower. We're on our way to the hospital now. I feel horrible for her that that had to have been incredibly painful, especially when you don't quite understand what's going on. We had a home health aide. She was there to help Mom out, but she was a little tiny thing. Mom isn't a tiny thing.

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Diane Brandon Moody: and the best she could do was kind of break the fall a bit. And she did so.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Anyway, long story even longer. Moms

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Diane Brandon Moody: broke 4 vertebra l. 1. Through l. 4. They were fractured in multiple places.

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Diane Brandon Moody: We kind of suspect osteoporosis, but anyway, all that is to tell you my life has not been my own since March, not even a little bit. I've been spending anywhere from 40 to 60, 70 HA week on her paperwork.

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Diane Brandon Moody: She was in the hospital after the fall for 5 days, and then we moved her to a rehab for 3 weeks, and then we finally moved her into a memory, care, facility, her care just needed more than we were capable or knowledgeable enough to give her, and she had planned on this for decades. So she had a policy long-term care policy.

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Diane Brandon Moody: We didn't want her to feel alone. So we've been visiting a lot, and I mean a lot, and so

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Diane Brandon Moody: add that to all the paperwork, and setting up her room with good furniture and a new bed and refrigerator and towels, and all of that jazz, let me tell you it's just been nonstop. So let me 1st shout out to all the caregivers, I know if you are a person over 50 that's looking to date.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I'm not the only one going through this. How do you find the time to date when you can't even find the time to cook dinner? There was a solid week there, where we ate out every single night, which is unusual for us, because I'm a pretty good cook, and my husband's the bomb on the grill, and so we enjoy cooking and eating at home. But it was one of those days. It was like, I just can't, I can't. It's not enough juice left in me.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So

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Diane Brandon Moody: some of you, I know, like I said. I know that you are out there taking care of elderly parents or grandparents or other family members, and God bless you, because I always heard it was difficult in the 1st couple of months were really kind of easy. So the 1st couple of months I was like, Yeah, this isn't hard.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Yeah. What's the old saying? You want to make God laugh. Tell her your plans. Well, that was kind of me saying, Yeah, I don't think so. This is, this definitely gets harder, but the good news is she is in her new place. It's a delightful place. It's a beautiful place. It's new. It was built in 2018, and

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Diane Brandon Moody: so all the decor is new. All the people are trained. They're all lovely people. They like my mom. My mom likes them.

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Diane Brandon Moody: She still wants to know when she's coming home, and unfortunately, that that isn't going to be anytime soon, because even if we bring her home for a visit, she's going to think it's permanent, and it's just not going to be for a while, if ever. And so that's what your girl's been up to. I say all this because

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Diane Brandon Moody: my deadlines have come and gone. My podcasts have been rather sporadic. They haven't always been on time, and I know consistently. Consistency is something that really it really brings the trust from the audience to a person. But that's why I thought I'd come clean and let you know that

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Diane Brandon Moody: you know it. It just wasn't even possible. I am her oldest daughter. I'm her power of attorney and medically power of Attorney.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And they're just

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Diane Brandon Moody: just hasn't been time for it. So I slapped together my last 4 podcast episodes while we were in Hawaii before we left.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So anyway, it's like I said, it's it's been a little bit. Been about a month, 6 weeks something like that since I loaded the last one. So

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Diane Brandon Moody: I'm not going to keep on babbling here, but on this particular topic I just wanted to let you know what's going on. I have a brand new website if you haven't seen it. Diannebrandon, moody.com.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I still have that 50 places to meet people over 50 lots and lots and lots of people come out of the woodwork to tell me how much they hate, hate, hate, hate, hate dating apps. But so many of these people also have some misconceptions about dating and about meeting people in person. A lot of women still think it's absolutely verboten

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Diane Brandon Moody: for a woman to speak to a man first, st he ought to be the one to speak. Let me tell you, sister, if you are believing that

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Diane Brandon Moody: this is not only misinformation and old information. But it's also another way that you are fooling yourself into thinking you're keeping yourself safe from heartbreak.

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Diane Brandon Moody: This is what we do to ourselves when we're scared when we're dating and we're scared. We fool ourselves into believing that we have a really good reason for a belief or a thought that we have. And it really isn't a good reason. So let's not do that anymore. Okay.

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Diane Brandon Moody: come on. Now, we don't need to do that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So no, you can always approach Guy. Ladies, you can always approach him.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Now, men, here is your equivalent to that, and I see this every day on Tiktok. I hear this in a lot of places that men won't

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Diane Brandon Moody: approach a woman because she's going to call him creepy.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Women actually want men to approach them. We do most women, most women.

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Diane Brandon Moody: absolutely most women. And here are the circumstances when they don't want you to do that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: If you are 50, 60, something years old, and you're hitting on a 20 year old, Hottie, that's creepy.

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Diane Brandon Moody: She's going to call you out for it, those Gen. Z. Types. They are not afraid of anything. They are going to let you tell you right up front that that's creepy, so don't be approaching somebody who's 30, 40 years younger than you. It is creepy, so don't do that. They will also call you creepy if you don't take no for an answer. If you see a woman who's tired and trying to

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Diane Brandon Moody: eat some chicken wings before she's on to her next shift, or her next job, or going home to the family

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Diane Brandon Moody: if she's by herself, and you're polite, and you say something to her about the wings must be good, and she nods her head and does not engage with you.

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Diane Brandon Moody: This is her trying to give you the subtle knowledge that she's just not interested, at least right? Not right now.

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Diane Brandon Moody: That isn't calling you creepy. What's creepy is, if you keep on and on, thinking she has a lot of nerve to turn you down

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Diane Brandon Moody: sometimes. It isn't that she's not interested. It's that she's not interested right now because she's exhausted. She doesn't have it in her. For another thing, today she doesn't have it in her for witty repartee, so just let her alone. Those are a couple of examples.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Take no for an answer. If a woman says No, it's complete sentence, and let it go with that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: so you can approach a woman, and if you're talking, here's another way they'll call you creepy is if you talk about a body part.

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Diane Brandon Moody: if you tell her that she's, you know, looking great in those shorts. And you know you you love that tight top she's wearing whatever.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Yeah, that's creepy behavior, dude. Don't do it.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So those are ways in which you could be called creepy. But most of you guys aren't like that. Most of you guys don't behave in that way. Most of you guys

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Diane Brandon Moody: are respectful.

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Diane Brandon Moody: but you're believing this myth about how women are going to call you creepy, and they're not. If you're not creepy. I promise they're not going to.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So that's your dating update from me for right now. So stick around.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Get my 50 places to meet people over 50 at diannebrandonmody.com.

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Diane Brandon Moody: and I hope to be seeing you next time at 50. Something love

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Diane Brandon Moody: where we talk all things dating and love after 50. Thank you so much, and see you next time.