Ep 38 What behavior makes men creepy?

www.dianebrandonmoody.com/50-places

Transcript

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Diane Brandon Moody: Hey, there, everybody! Diane Brandon! Moody, I'm here with another episode of 50 something love. And today's topic is what

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Diane Brandon Moody: makes a guy creepy to women. Now I you may think that I'm trying to be a little sexist here, and I'm not. Let me back up and explain a little bit. I have seen this hundreds, if not

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Diane Brandon Moody: thousands of times, among men in Facebook groups that I'm in or on Tiktok or in other ways, other social media. And it's this is. Men say they can't approach a woman in public because they're going to be called creepy.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I hit on this topic recently, but it wasn't the whole topic. So I'm going to kind of mention it one more time. And that is, it's simply not true. Most women really really want you to approach them first.st

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Diane Brandon Moody: It's just more romantic for them to do that. We we like it when men approach us, if we're out in public.

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Diane Brandon Moody: but

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Diane Brandon Moody: men keep saying they'll be crawled creepy, and lose everything. No, you're not going to lose everything. Where do you even get that? Losing everything? No, you're not going to be losing everything.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Here are the ways in which, though, that you could be called creepy

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Diane Brandon Moody: one is, if you're considerably older than the woman, young woman, that you're talking to in a bar or a restaurant, or wherever.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Now, if you're just talking about the weather, because you both happen to be walking in one direction or another. That isn't a creepy kind of conversation. What a woman would call creepy is if you're obviously hitting on her, and you don't seem to realize that there's a 2030, 40 year age difference.

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Diane Brandon Moody: It ain't sexy for 20 year olds. They don't find 50 or 60 year old men sexy unless they're looking for your money. That's just a fact, and some of them do. Some of them do it.

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Diane Brandon Moody: but they're not going to be doing it because they're so attracted to you. So you guys complain a lot about how you think women are only after your money, and that's not true. But

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Diane Brandon Moody: you think that. Well, this is one way in which you're setting up the situation to be exactly like like that all on your own.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So don't be hitting on a young woman, those young Gen. Z. Girls. They will take you down in a big hurry, so don't play with them just because they're younger than you. That doesn't mean you can manipulate them very easily. I don't think you can. I have Gen. Z. Let me tell you. You can't

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Diane Brandon Moody: excuse me for that cough.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Okay? So that's 1 way you can do it one way is not taking. No for an answer.

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Diane Brandon Moody: guys, some of you get the idea that to be persistent is somehow very macho, very male and very attractive to women. It is not.

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Diane Brandon Moody: it isn't.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Don't do it.

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Diane Brandon Moody: especially if she's giving you the body language that says she's not interested, especially if she's not looking you in the face. If she's not continuing the discussion, she isn't interested, and she shouldn't have to keep talking to you further.

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Diane Brandon Moody: This isn't fair. It isn't cool.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Sometimes we women just want to be left the fuck alone.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Pick up on those social cues you can. You can find them. I just told you what some of them are.

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Diane Brandon Moody: She might even say No, thank you. If she said, No, thank you. Leave her the hell alone. Walk away, find somebody who might like you, find your own age group.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Do something different. Don't, don't be going after them, and don't keep badgering somebody once they've said, No.

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Diane Brandon Moody: leave them alone at that point.

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Diane Brandon Moody: The other thing that would make a woman feel like you're creepy is, if you immediately start talking sex and body parts.

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Diane Brandon Moody: if that's the 1st thing out of your mouth dude, you have wrecked it, and you're never going to recover from it unless she is a sex worker of some kind, in which case she'll she'll do it. But once again you're going to think that women only want your money, but you don't realize you're setting it up that way

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Diane Brandon Moody: unless she's a sex worker.

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Diane Brandon Moody: That's not the way to handle that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Don't do it.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Do not start with sex

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Diane Brandon Moody: at all. The time, for a topic on sex is not before the 3rd date.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Yeah, I can hear you screaming from here. I know everybody's going to be mad about that. You mean I have to buy her dinner. No, you don't have to buy her dinner. You can create some other rule if you want to. You may be, you know, hurting yourself over that, too, but that's fine.

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Diane Brandon Moody: But you should not be talking about sex until the 3rd date note. I didn't say you're going to get it on the 3rd date. I think it can be a discussion by the 3rd date. I don't think it's unreasonable to have that discussion at the 3rd date.

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Diane Brandon Moody: but that doesn't mean it's necessarily going to happen.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So

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Diane Brandon Moody: I'm sure there are other ways that could be defined as creepy. But I think those will probably suffice. If you're a nice guy, here's how you do approach a woman out in public.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Let's say you're at Starbucks, and you're both in line for your morning beverage. And

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Diane Brandon Moody: you notice a woman that you think is pretty, and you'd like to talk to her so while you're in line, kind of tap her on the shoulder and say, you know, I usually get

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Diane Brandon Moody: an espresso in the morning, but I saw maybe you have another idea. What is it that you usually get? Maybe I need something different.

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Diane Brandon Moody: If she wants to talk to you, she might say, I usually get an almond milk latte, and then you can start a conversation between you if she does not return the conversation much more than to just barely answer your question. This means that she's not open to discussing anything right now.

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Diane Brandon Moody: and what that means is that she could be married. She could be with somebody. She could be feeling not so great.

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Diane Brandon Moody: She could be consumed with work that's going on. She could have a sick kid. She could have no interest in anybody at Starbucks. There's a hundred different reasons that she may not be interested in talking to you in that moment that have nothing to do with. There's something wrong with you. It just may not be a good time.

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Diane Brandon Moody: but that's how you approach somebody you don't start off with, hey? When was the last time you got laid? And before you think that I made that up, it isn't. I've been asked that many times on the 1st thing.

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Diane Brandon Moody: and it does not work. I'll tell you that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: and it should get a punch in the mouth. That's what it should get. I have not ever done that

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Diane Brandon Moody: since I'm married now, and I'm with my husband. He would happily punch you in the mouth for it, but

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Diane Brandon Moody: you know, so don't just don't do it.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So that is today's ramble on

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Diane Brandon Moody: all the ways that you could be called creepy. I don't like that as a conversation. I would much rather not have it. But you guys just keep passing around this myth that women are going to call you creepy, and I keep on saying, not unless you are creepy. Not unless you're being creepy.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Not unless you're doing stuff that is just completely out of the norm of propriety. So don't do it

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Diane Brandon Moody: quit whining. You'll get laid a lot faster if you quit acting like a jerk. Okay, maybe that'll sink in.

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Diane Brandon Moody: anyway, that's for a certain small segment of men who keep saying this over and over again. That is by no means supposed to be about all men. There are a lot of good ones out there. There are a lot of single ones out there. There are a lot of them who just may not know how to go about meeting you.

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Diane Brandon Moody: but the other ones not worth it.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Okay, so that's another episode of 57, 50 something love Diane Brandon Moody here. If you want that copy of 50 places to meet people.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Over 50. It's on my website, dianebrandonmody.com.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And here is to.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Here's to another great dating

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Diane Brandon Moody: life. We're getting into summer we're in summer. We're going to be moving into fall before too long. My very favorite time, hatch chilly season. Oh, boy, I can't wait for that, so y'all time's wasted. You guys go out there and have some fun dating.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Thanks again.

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Diane Brandon Moody: We'll talk again before long on this episode of 50. Something love.