Ep 43 Whatever turns you on

In order to date, do whatever turns you on. 

50 places to meet high quality men over 50 who want to connect is a great place to connect to Simply Irresistible 

Transcript

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Diane Brandon Moody: Hi everybody, this is Diane Brandon Moody again. I'm here with episode 43 of 50-something Love, and the topic that I wanted to talk about today is, what is it do I have to change in order to get more dates?

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Diane Brandon Moody: This is a question that I hear lots of times, and frankly, I also felt this way when I was dating.

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Diane Brandon Moody: What is it I have to do? Is it lose weight? Is it change my hair? Do men really prefer women who are quiet, or my outgoing personality? Is that gonna be okay? What is it… what is it I have to do to be the person that men like?

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Diane Brandon Moody: And let me tell you how that is so the wrong question. Whether you're asking it as a woman, as to what men will like, or if you're a guy saying, hey, what can I do? What can I change to get more women? In both cases.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You really don't need to be asking this question, and I'm making an assumption that you are basically a decent human being, that you're a good person.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, there are some things that you might want to do and be in consideration of, because it makes you feel good.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Not because it makes them like you more, but because it makes you feel good.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Ladies, You probably know what I'm talking about if I say you just found the most perfect outfit.

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Diane Brandon Moody: While you were shopping. You put that on, and you felt sexy as hell.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You looked in the mirror, and you saw a goddess.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You loved the way you looked in that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So you know that feeling? I want you to put a pin in that feeling so that you can conjure up that feeling again soon.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Men.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Do you know what it's like when you had

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Diane Brandon Moody: Maybe it was a great workout day, or you accomplished something at work that nobody thought you were capable of accomplishing, or…

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Diane Brandon Moody: You looked in the mirror and you said, damn, I look good. Whatever it is, do you remember that feeling? You were proud, you were kind of happy, you, you thought you were really something and getting done what you got done. Do you remember that feeling?

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Diane Brandon Moody: Okay, so put a pin in that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Put a pin in that… that feeling so that you can conjure up that feeling again when you want to.

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Diane Brandon Moody: The reason I'm saying this is because…

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Diane Brandon Moody: I have a theory when it comes to dating, and actually all human interaction.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And I think it's that… Men, when they're looking at a woman.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And then you're gonna have to tell me if I'm right on this or not, but I think I am.

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Diane Brandon Moody: When you look at a woman.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You… you may like her looks, you may like her body type, you may think she's pretty.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You may think that she's not quite your body type, but there's just something about her.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You can't really explain it, you don't know what it is.

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Diane Brandon Moody: But somehow, she grabs your attention, and you are just mesmerized. And you can't really…

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Diane Brandon Moody: say the reason for why she mesmerizes you. Is it…

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Diane Brandon Moody: Is it her looks? Mmm, maybe? That contributes?

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Diane Brandon Moody: Is it that she's sassy, or… or quiet, or whatever? You just really can't put your thumb on it. You really just don't know exactly what's going on here.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Well, in my opinion, I believe what's going on is that you are reading her energy.

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Diane Brandon Moody: As all animals do, we're just less conscious of it these days, because we are verbal creatures, we can tell each other what we feel.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Even if we don't do it exactly, truthfully, but we can use our words, and so we've kind of lost the fact that we are absolutely conscious of each other's energy.

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Diane Brandon Moody: But anyway, this woman, this girl, has something about her

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Diane Brandon Moody: That just says she likes who she is.

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Diane Brandon Moody: She's confident in who she is, she likes herself, she takes care of herself.

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Diane Brandon Moody: That doesn't mean she's perfect in terms of her body, or her clothing, or anything like that, but you could just tell that she enjoys herself.

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Diane Brandon Moody: This is the kind of woman I want all of you women listening to become.

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Diane Brandon Moody: The kind of woman that radiates the energy out there.

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Diane Brandon Moody: That you think you're pretty damn special.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Not in an entitled way. Not in a bratty 3-year-old way.

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Diane Brandon Moody: We're talking about the fact that you just happen to like who you are. In fact, you love who you are. You think you're pretty awesome.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And you enjoy being around other awesome people.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And you think you look good.

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Diane Brandon Moody: When you look in the mirror, you're not picking yourself apart like so many women do.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So many women, when they're looking at themselves in the mirror, they're going, oh my god, my nose is too big. Oh my god, what happened to my hair?

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Diane Brandon Moody: Lord, what is wrong with me? I put on weight.

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Diane Brandon Moody: all of those things that you're criticizing yourself, and that makes you feel just a little lower, a little lower, a little lower. That energy?

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Diane Brandon Moody: Is also being read.

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Diane Brandon Moody: It is. This is not something that you're keeping to yourself. You don't even have to express it out loud and other people pick up on it. They don't know why, they don't know exactly what they're picking up on.

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Diane Brandon Moody: They don't know that…

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Diane Brandon Moody: you literally just picked yourself apart in the mirror. They… they… they don't have that information about you. But…

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Diane Brandon Moody: They know that you're… you're just not loving on yourself very much.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And what that gives them is, then why should I?

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Diane Brandon Moody: Now, I am not talking about at all, I am not talking…

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Diane Brandon Moody: About who you are with your spouse, with someone you've been with for a long time.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I'm not talking about a long-term relationship at this point, I'm talking about the… the just meeting each other stage.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Maybe you chatted online a little bit.

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Diane Brandon Moody: But you haven't met in person.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And so, here's gonna be my suggestion for that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Whatever you have to do to get that feeling about yourself, that you are just pretty frickin' awesome.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I want you to do that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You need to do that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Is that getting a new dynamite haircut on Blowout?

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Diane Brandon Moody: And then when you look in the mirror, you're not too busy tearing down that mole on your cheek, but you're more like saying, damn, I look good.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Maybe it's a new outfit that you want.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Or put together an old outfit in a different way.

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Diane Brandon Moody: That when you look at it, you go, Jill, yeah, I'm all that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Look at me! I look amazing!

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Diane Brandon Moody: What about that? I'm actually a beautiful woman.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Too new.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Guys, the same thing for you. If you've been on the last 5 dates, and they bombed, and you don't know why, you're not really sure what went on, but you know something isn't working out very well.

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Diane Brandon Moody: What is it you have to do to start feeling your confidence again?

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Diane Brandon Moody: Do you need to… Do you need to go have a really good workout somewhere, lift some weights?

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Diane Brandon Moody: You need to go hang out with a couple of your guy friends, go have beers and chat with each other, beat somebody playing pool?

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Diane Brandon Moody: What is it you need to do?

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Diane Brandon Moody: If getting a new outfit does it for you too, and I know there are some men who love to look good.

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Diane Brandon Moody: then I think maybe you should do that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Or maybe it's just learning to converse better. Maybe you're shy, and you just don't really know how to have a conversation, so you practice on that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: How about learning to dance? I know I keep bringing up dancing, but guys, if you didn't know how much this will make you feel special, you need to, because every dance place I've ever been to has been

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Diane Brandon Moody: way more women than men there. And so the men have their choice of dance partners all night long.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So maybe you need to go dance.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So I know this episode has been just a bit on the vague side, because I am talking in not very specific terms.

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Diane Brandon Moody: If you want to lose weight, then do so. I'm not telling you you can't, I'm just saying that a guy

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Diane Brandon Moody: Will forgive a lot Of what you think is wrong with you.

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Diane Brandon Moody: if you vibe in person, and you think you're amazing. I love that in a woman.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I've heard that from all kinds of guys before I got married. They all liked that about me, because I thought I was pretty good stuff.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, you know, if losing weight's an option and that makes you feel better, then do it. If nothing else, get a little bit of exercise and movement. That's really good for your nervous system. It makes you feel a lot better about yourself automatically. So get some exercise.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Maybe out in the fresh air.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Maybe that's what you need to do. Maybe you need to go walk your dog.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Maybe you need to go… Get your feet in the soil.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Whatever that is.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I would love to hear from you guys on what it is that you're planning to do so that you can get that amazing feeling about how amazing you are.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Because I know when you're dating, and you're dating, and you're dating, and… People just don't hit… Right.

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Diane Brandon Moody: That bums you out, because most people are thinking, well, it's my fault, he didn't like me, he thought I was…

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Diane Brandon Moody: Too tall, too short, too fat, too loud, too… whatever.

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Diane Brandon Moody: When, in reality, most of the time, it's just… it didn't… it didn't vibe. Or maybe your energy was just so far down in the toilet, it just wasn't that attractive in the moment.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Once you're in a relationship, you can expect people to stick with you.

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Diane Brandon Moody: When you've had those kinds of energy in the toilet moments.

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Diane Brandon Moody: They signed up for better or worse. They're gonna be there, and plus they love you enough at that point to really be able to tolerate that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: But that's not true in the first couple of dates. They're just looking for you to to be…

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Diane Brandon Moody: That magnetic woman that, they just really can't…

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Diane Brandon Moody: Explain exactly, but who really captivates them.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And vice versa.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, yep, I would really like to hear from you guys. Please leave a note on the podcast, or you can email me, you can find me all over the place, Instagram, TikTok.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And leave me a note that you heard this episode, and this is what you decided to do to make yourself feel

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Diane Brandon Moody: Like, your hot stuff.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I'd love to hear from you.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Thank you so much, another episode of 50-something Love, and looking forward to seeing you next time.