Ep 45 The use of AI in dating profiles - yay or f*ck no?

Oh yes I have opinions.

You can guess what some of them are.

Some will surprise you. 

Take a listen.

www.dianebrandonmoody.com/50-places

Transcript

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Diane Brandon Moody: Hey there, this is Diane Brandon Moody. I'm here again with another episode of 50-something Love, and I appreciate you so much for being here. Listen, do me a favor, tell your friends about this podcast.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I talk about the topics that I want to talk about that I think are helpful. I also take suggestions, and sometimes I do it with guests.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Lately, since I've needed to get them out, I've been doing them on my own.

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Diane Brandon Moody: But, I'm always open to a suggestion, so appreciate you sending me around to your friends.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So this episode's gonna be kind of a quick one.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And someone suggested this to me from a Facebook group that I'm in.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And he said he wanted to know about the use of AI in writing profiles and pictures.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Here's what I would say to that. I have no problem with you using AI, whatever one you want, ChatGPT, Claude is my favorite, but, using whatever

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Diane Brandon Moody: AI prompt you'd like to use to write a good profile, especially if you're not very good at writing profiles.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Some people are blessed with writing… writing cap… I can't even talk… writing capability, and others aren't. So if you feel like your profile is not doing anything for you, then by all means, experiment around with it. But, …

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Diane Brandon Moody: what I would think is good…

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Diane Brandon Moody: is to make sure that it's not so over-the-top flowery. So you may have to train it. For those who don't know, training AI is when you talk to it multiple times to get it to sound like you, only maybe a little bit better.

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Diane Brandon Moody: What you don't want is for you to be, writing a profile that ends up sounding like Brad Pitt wrote it.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I don't even know if Brad Pitt's any good at that, but you would think he's good at it. Anyway…

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Diane Brandon Moody: You want it… you don't want one that sounds like Stephen King, I would think, if you're gonna meet somebody.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You want something that sounds a little bit intriguing and interesting, but you don't want it to be…

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Diane Brandon Moody: You know, over-the-top crazy, because when they meet you in person, if you're not sounding like your profile, they're gonna be a lot less interested and perhaps feel like they were kind of chipped.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, make it sound like you, but a little bit better. So, you can train, Claude or…

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Diane Brandon Moody: chat GPT, like, if you… Put some information in there, and please write this profile for me.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You can train it by saying, I don't like that first line, it doesn't sound like me, the second line's good, the third line is too much, you know, just go through it like that. Tell it exactly what is working for you and what isn't.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And you want it to make you sound interesting, but not over the top.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, that's my… those are my thoughts on writing your profile. I use Claude on… quite a bit when I'm writing a social media post and I can't make it sound very interesting.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I'll put the ideas I want into Claude and ask Claude to come up with it, and Claude will come up with a good one.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, there's no shame in using that. There are some riders that are, Super sensitive to that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Claude doesn't use other writers.

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Diane Brandon Moody: materials, so that's one reason I do that. The writers are super sensitive to that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: …

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Diane Brandon Moody: I've been told by writers before that I clearly don't understand AI, and I assure you I do. I also know that it's here, whether or not I use it, and it's kind of crazy not to use it if I can make my life better. But I'm not using it to be me, just to help me.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So think of your profile like that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I don't know… I would imagine all of the dating apps probably have an AI option for you now, that probably comes at an extra cost. I don't know, I haven't looked at them lately.

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Diane Brandon Moody: But you don't have to go that route. You can just use the free version of Claude if you want. You will be limited to

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Diane Brandon Moody: time, or hours, or whatever, but I mean, it wouldn't… you wouldn't need a whole lot of time for something like that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Okay, as for AI pictures, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You are not going to use AI for pictures of you.

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Diane Brandon Moody: you're not gonna use filters, you're not even gonna use a pro photographer, and I'm sorry to take that business away from pro photographers, but I think what that does is it creates

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Diane Brandon Moody: an expectation

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Diane Brandon Moody: Of how great you're gonna look in person that you probably won't be able to replicate without the right makeup and without the right lighting.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And pro photographers can also edit it to, you know, I love it when they say, well, we can take some of your wrinkles out, bite me. My wrinkles are who I am, that's who they're going to be looking for, that's who they're going to be looking at.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I don't want anybody taking away my wrinkles. I've earned every damn one of these.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So… You want to just use pictures.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You can use a tripod or get a friend to do it. You can be outside, not at noon, do it in the morning or the evening so the sun isn't sitting right on top of you. That makes you look like a scary movie.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And you should be outside… Doing something fun, just you.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Just you. Not your friends, not your family, and by God, not your kids at all. Don't… no kids in the photos.

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Diane Brandon Moody: That doesn't do anything, and it can be dangerous for kids, so…

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Diane Brandon Moody: Don't… don't do the kids. You can have a dog or your cat if you want to.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You need to have two that are close up.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Two pictures that are kind of close.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And you need to have 3 that are full body length, and no hiding behind trees.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Or, no hiding what your body looks like.

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Diane Brandon Moody: No hiding behind clothes, or a car, or a fence, none of that. Don't hide, because they are gonna meet you at some point. And if you don't look the way that they think you're…

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Diane Brandon Moody: portraying yourself, that could be so awkward and embarrassing if they just get up and leave. And frankly.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I would encourage that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: If you go on a date with somebody, and they show up, and clearly their picture was AI, and they don't look like that, or it's 20 years old or something, and they really don't look like that, or they're 50 pounds heavier, or whatever.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I don't think you need to stay for the date. I don't think you have to be rude about it, you know, don't need to be a dick, but you just have to say, this is not how you portrayed yourself, so I wish you the best of luck. And then turn around and leave.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So… The pro photographers will indeed make you look amazing.

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Diane Brandon Moody: They're good at that, but again, if you don't look every bit that amazing when you sit down, this person is going to be kind of bummed. What you really want is if these photos are just taken with your phone.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Just regular old good photos, you should be…

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Diane Brandon Moody: Dressed in a flattering way, smiling, looking at the camera.

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Diane Brandon Moody: All of that to make it look good.

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Diane Brandon Moody: But… not professional.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So that when you sit down in front of somebody to get that coffee, or that drink, or whatever you're doing, that they'll look at you and they'll go, wow, you're so much prettier than your photos.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So you want people to go, oh, well, thank you.

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Diane Brandon Moody: That's really cool, thank you so much.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Rather than the other way, which is… Oh.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You don't look like your photos at all.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You see the difference? So, no, no, no on AI.

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Diane Brandon Moody: for photos.

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Diane Brandon Moody: No, no, no on AI for filters. No, no, no for photos that are old.

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Diane Brandon Moody: or misconstrue you in some other way. I think you need to get 3 to 5 photos for your, …

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Diane Brandon Moody: For your site, For your app.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And you need to replace them every 6 months, or if something happens that drastically changes the way you look.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Every 6 months.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Because we're looking at ourselves in the mirror, and we're going, oh, I haven't changed a bet in the last 20 years. Yes, you have. Yes, I have. I know that about me. Yes, we've changed.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, let's not try to fool ourselves with that. And if you do that, you may weed out a few people on the front end, but at least you're not going to be left at the door.

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Diane Brandon Moody: By someone who thinks you've tried to pull a fast one.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So that's all I got to say about AI. Use it to help you write better.

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Diane Brandon Moody: But make sure it still sounds like you.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And no AI on the photos. Just use a phone and a friend.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Hope that helps!

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Diane Brandon Moody: Looking forward to seeing you next time on another episode of 50-something Left. Bye!