Ep 49 Dating with different cultures and languages

Do I know much about this topic? We shall see!

The 7 Dating Patterns Smart Women Don't Realize They're Running - And Why Recognizing Yours Changes Everything. 

Transcript

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Diane Brandon Moody: Hi everybody, Diane Brandon Moody here, again with another episode of To See Something Love. Yay! Thank you for being here. Hey, do me a favor, spread around this particular podcast for anybody you know who may be dating.

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Diane Brandon Moody: After 50, whether it's their first time around, or their second or third time around. I try to help out. My husband and I got… I got married for the first time.

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Diane Brandon Moody: At age 58. I met him when I was 57.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I got married for the first time at 58, when most people would have told you it was too late.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And we have been married now 6 years, so I feel like I can help people date better, because I did it for so long. I had some amazing coaches.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And I had an amazing epiphany, myself telling me everything I was doing wrong. Fixed it immediately, and within 3 months, I found my husband.

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Diane Brandon Moody: on Craigslist personals.

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Diane Brandon Moody: There is a story about it in the New York Times.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Just Google my name's.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Okay, so today's topic is how to, overcome

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Diane Brandon Moody: Differences in language or culture when you may be dating cross-culturally, or, …

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Diane Brandon Moody: You know, with someone who doesn't really speak the language.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And I… I found it to be kind of a fun.

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Diane Brandon Moody: A fun topic. It was suggested to me by a guy named Patrick, who did a little homework for me, and it was kind of fun. He told me about some of his relatives, and how

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Diane Brandon Moody: And friends, and how they ended up with

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Diane Brandon Moody: people of different languages and cultures, and it… it was interesting to me. I, myself, have had not had that experience.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I have in my bigger family. My dad's brother married a woman from Japan when he was stationed over there during the Korean War.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And my dad's sister married a Choctaw, which…

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Diane Brandon Moody: they didn't really like that idea too much at the time, which I always thought was kind of cool. I didn't know anybody else who had those kind of relatives. I thought it was really cool.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, how do we deal with, cultural and language difficulties? Well, thank goodness there's such a thing as Google Translate.

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Diane Brandon Moody: There are earbuds that you can actually wear in your ear that will translate in real time, just like you've always seen movies of with the United Nations.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Where you can get translations in real time if you're really not understanding each other at all. So that's one thing that will make it kind of easy. I know you can buy some of those on TikTok Shop, you can probably get them on Amazon.

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Diane Brandon Moody: that in itself is pretty easy. That's a pretty fun little trick for if you're traveling somewhere where English is not spoken as a dominant language, although in most… most countries in Europe these days, English is spoken, but

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Diane Brandon Moody: That would be sort of helpful for you to have when you're traveling and or dealing with people in your life or workers. I don't make any money off that, I'm not telling you to… what brand or anything or how well they work, I just know they're out there.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So that would be helpful.

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Diane Brandon Moody: As far as cultures, it's just… the difference is just in all how you think about it.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I remember I had a friend long time ago, long, long time ago.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And she was just so mad at her boyfriend, because his family, when Christmas came along.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And it was time to open presents. They all just dove into presents, and…

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Diane Brandon Moody: you know, tore them all apart, and in 30 seconds, it was all done. Everybody looked and said, thank you, and then they moved on to the next thing, and she was just horrified, because that isn't the way her family did it. They all took their time, they went around in a circle, they talked about the gift, and why the gift was

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Diane Brandon Moody: chosen and all that stuff, and so she thought that was a much better way. And I remember telling her, and I couldn't have been more than 20, but I remember telling her at the time.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Girl, you're just thinking, like, you have it…

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Diane Brandon Moody: The good way, and they have it the bad way, and really all their way is a different way.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, I mean, why is that so hard? Why don't you just…

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Diane Brandon Moody: Like, present it to them and see if they're willing to do it that way.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You know? I mean, why would that be such a big problem? It just doesn't seem to me that this is a problem. This is just…

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Diane Brandon Moody: You guys grew up doing it one way, and they grew up doing it another way, so what?

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Diane Brandon Moody: Just see if they're into it.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, I know that there are a lot of things

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Diane Brandon Moody: And this almost sounds like a cliche, but I remember my, Japanese aunt would not allow shoes in the house.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And… You know, 60 years ago, this was a weird thing to your average American.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You know, the Japanese had been enemies of the United States during World War II. We weren't that far out of it.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I was too young to know if she was facing a backlash over that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So I… I don't know what her personal experiences were, but I know she just flat out didn't allow shoes in her house.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And my parents were just kind of horrified by that, just didn't know enough about Japanese culture. And honestly, nobody did at that particular point in America. It wasn't something that was known much.

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Diane Brandon Moody: But, … So anyway…

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Diane Brandon Moody: I think a lot of this is just done out of ignorance. People are just not knowing

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Diane Brandon Moody: They just don't know. They don't… they don't know another option.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, make a suggestion.

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Diane Brandon Moody: About, you know, you do it this way, we do it this way, how about this here, we do it your way, just for fun.

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Diane Brandon Moody: If this is a different culture, whether it's another country or a different religion or whatever, you know, let's just… let's try it your way and see what happens.

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Diane Brandon Moody: For the last several years, for Christmas, I've been picking a different country, usually European.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And I adopt that country, and we decorate from that country, I cook from that country, and by the end of it, we know a little bit more about how France celebrates.

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Diane Brandon Moody: during Christmas, we…

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Diane Brandon Moody: Did that the first year because it was in the pandemic, and, you know, it was the first year of

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Diane Brandon Moody: 2020, the first year of the pandemic, and everyone was just so isolated, and I couldn't be with the rest of my siblings or their families. It was just my husband and me.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And so, we came up with that as a way to entertain us.

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Diane Brandon Moody: during the pandemic. So, we cooked a French Christmas. Well, I did most of the cooking, but we decorated French, and we…

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Diane Brandon Moody: you know, got French wine, and we had French food, and we watched

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Diane Brandon Moody: We watched, an Episcopalian service from Paris.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, you know, we were doing our best to just fill our holiday cup from something other than what we were allowed to do, and then we continued it. We did

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Diane Brandon Moody: Italian, and we've done Hawaiian, because we've been to Hawaii a couple of years.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Even though that is the U.S, the food is very different, and so we were… We did that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And…

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Diane Brandon Moody: We did, Spain last year, and… so anyway, it's just been fun. So, just because you've always done it a certain way doesn't mean it always needs to continue being another way, especially if you're welcoming a new person from another culture in your family.

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Diane Brandon Moody: What could be more welcoming than to try and…

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Diane Brandon Moody: You know, welcome them in with some of their cultural… traditions.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Ask them to show you about it, you know, cook some of the food from there, or…

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Diane Brandon Moody: you know, how do you guys do presents, or what's the kind of desserts that you have there? Would you help us out with that? People love to share that, and at the end of it, you'll feel like you know a little bit more about the culture.

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Diane Brandon Moody: The first thing, like I said, the first thing is not to assume my right way is right and your way is wrong.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You just realize that both are different, and there's room for everybody's. You could do Christmas Eve, like, the way you've always done it, and you can do Christmas Day with your new family member or friends.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Do… just do something that welcomes them, and…

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Diane Brandon Moody: Can make them feel at home.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And…

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Diane Brandon Moody: also include yours, so that you feel like you get to celebrate the traditions that are also interesting to you. Now, the differences in cultural… I, you know, I took his suggestion and I turned it into holiday-specific, because we're not that far away from holidays.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And that's a way to enjoy it. Do something different.

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Diane Brandon Moody: We didn't have extremely… set-in-stone Christmas holiday traditions when I was growing up.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, … I am… … you know, I was able to…

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Diane Brandon Moody: Do something that was a little more interest.

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Diane Brandon Moody: To me, than just… Absolutely nothing.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So…

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Diane Brandon Moody: I think I've babbled enough on this topic now. I've done 7 in a row, I'm running out of words. So, anyway, thank you for being here. You can always send me questions. I'm on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok.

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Diane Brandon Moody: you can find me here, you can find me, on my website, dianebrandonmoody.com. While you're there, sign up for the 50 Places to Meet People Over 50, so that you can kind of

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Diane Brandon Moody: Get to know people in a different way.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I've had a good time with this topic. I may have been a little sloppy, but I thought it was kind of fun to talk about. So let me know ways… what does your culture do specifically for the Christmas time frame?

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Diane Brandon Moody: You may not even be Christian, and you may be celebrating some other holiday around that time.

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Diane Brandon Moody: What I do know is virtually every culture in the world has some kind of tradition around that time, simply because the days are short and dark, and they start turning into light, and that was seen as a miracle by ancient people.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, thank you. Thank you for being here, and I hope to talk to you again before too long.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I appreciate your attention, tell your friends.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And… You can tell him this bitch is crazy if you want, it's fine with me.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Talk to you soon.