Time is on Your Side - Ep 75

You meet him Thursday. By Sunday you've spent three days straight together and you're sure this is the one. Then, right after things get physical, he gets a strange look, mumbles something about not being able to handle a relationship, and disappears.

If you've lived some version of that, this episode is for you, because the pattern is more predictable than you'd ever believe.

I make the case for the one thing that reveals who a man actually is, and it's the very thing a whirlwind skips right over.

Why the fast, intoxicating start is so often the setup for the vanishing act, and when that disappearance almost always happens.

What time quietly exposes that a few dazzling dates can completely hide.

The green flag worth waiting for, the one that tells you you've found a genuinely good one.

And my clear, no-shame stance on all of it, because this was never about rules, it's about information.

Let it marinate. Give it time. 

Here's the new quiz, it's fun and funny and will let you know how ready you are for love  - quiz.dianebrandonmoody.com. Sign up here for the Simply Irresistible Priority List! It's free and no obligation. https://www.dianebrandonmoody.com

Transcript

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Diane Brandon Moody: Hi there, Diane Brandon Moody again, and this is my 12 mini episode.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Marathon.

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Diane Brandon Moody: leading up to

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Diane Brandon Moody: Thursday, July 9th, which may be coming and going, depending on what order I put these in.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And, July 9th is, once again, same men… same man, different outfit, which is why you may, continually kind of get with the same guy.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So, that will be Thursday, 7pm Central. Go to my website, DianeBrandedMoody.com, and you will get the place to sign up.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And then, of course, moving to Simply Irresistible.

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Diane Brandon Moody: So what I'd like to talk about today is time.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Time, time, time, time, time.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I see so many people, and by people I mean it's usually women, although I can't swear to it, sometimes men do this too, but they attribute

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Diane Brandon Moody: Oh, this is so great, this is so wonderful that we've had…

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Diane Brandon Moody: all this time together. We just met on Thursday and Friday. We had a 12-hour date, and on Saturday, he came over.

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Diane Brandon Moody: for the day and on Sunday I spent the night with him and we're so in love and blah blah blah and let me tell you people if you want to make real changes in the guys that you are

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Diane Brandon Moody: Finding and the men you're going with and the quality of the relationship, you can't do that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: because nothing will show you who a guy is more than time giving time to get to know him.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Because…

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Diane Brandon Moody: here's how that scenario goes. It's usually one of two things. One is, it moves so fast for 3 or 4 days, or a week, or 2 weeks. The woman's hooked at this point. She's absolutely sure this is the one for her.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And the guy has a sudden panic attack that he doesn't know if he can handle this.

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Diane Brandon Moody: This is eating up a lot of his time. This is

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Diane Brandon Moody: A woman who needs a lot that he isn't prepared for. Note that this…

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Diane Brandon Moody: Kind of fuzziness or desire to kind of disappear.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Comes after sex, it never comes before.

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Diane Brandon Moody: After sex, they're like, I don't, you know, I don't think I can handle this. This, this isn't a relationship. And then they ghost you, or they just…

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Diane Brandon Moody: tell you they can't handle a relationship. That's happened so many times, I was…

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Diane Brandon Moody: mediator mediator for a very famous

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Diane Brandon Moody: person who wrote about love and relationships had a lot of book sales.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I discovered lately he's a real creep, so I don't use this name anymore. But,

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Diane Brandon Moody: What happened when I was on those boards and was kind of being a moderator, not a mediator, a moderator.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I can't talk today. Moderator, I can't tell you how many times we heard that story.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Constantly.

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Diane Brandon Moody: All the time. It was very frequent. And it's still happening. It's still very frequent. I see people talking about this on threads. I see people in various forms online.

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Diane Brandon Moody: People tell me about this, and…

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Diane Brandon Moody: I mean, to me, it's so predictable that you just wouldn't believe it. It's incredibly predictable.

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Diane Brandon Moody: I'm not saying hold back sex for some punishment or some reward for later, that isn't the point.

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Diane Brandon Moody: If you are a woman who can absolutely handle the fact that

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Diane Brandon Moody: Tonight you have sex, and tomorrow he may be gone.

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Diane Brandon Moody: then by all means have all the fun you want. I don't care. I'm not your mother. I'm not the one who's monitoring your sex life. That isn't

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Diane Brandon Moody: That's not what I'm going to do. But if you're working with me, I would highly suggest that you wait a while before that happens. And that's to see if someone is actually into you or if they are.

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Diane Brandon Moody: into you for tonight.

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Diane Brandon Moody: It happens. It just does. It happens all the time.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And even if you do stick around together for a month or two months or whatever,

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Diane Brandon Moody: The time thing is still important.

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Diane Brandon Moody: some of those creepy stories that you hear about, which are very uncommon, but they still happen. You know, like… like the guy who had two complete different families.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Or.

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Diane Brandon Moody: very deep in debt, or an alcoholic. You know, a lot of those things can be hidden.

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Diane Brandon Moody: for short times. They can, you know, you can work around them for a period of time, but they start showing up and becoming obvious if you've spent a long time together in terms of

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Diane Brandon Moody: days, weeks, months. You will eventually find those kinds of things out.

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Diane Brandon Moody: You'll find out how he expresses interest, you'll find out does he

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Diane Brandon Moody: Participate in a relationship, or does he just kind of sit back and expect you to do the heavy lifting?

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Diane Brandon Moody: All of those things become very obvious with time.

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Diane Brandon Moody: finding your quote-unquote soulmate in a matter of minutes and hours, and we've spent, you know, all day together, and now we know we're in love.

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Diane Brandon Moody: It happens, it happens. There are some people I've heard of that they had

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Diane Brandon Moody: One date, and the next day they got married, and they're still married. This happens. It doesn't happen very often, though.

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Diane Brandon Moody: The odds are stacked against you.

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Diane Brandon Moody: What you need is time.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And that is the one thing that will show you who he is.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And to remind you, one of the things that I think it is important to look for is, does his words and actions match consistently over time?

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Diane Brandon Moody: Is he who he says he is? Does he do what he says he's gonna do?

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Diane Brandon Moody: If all those… if all that lines up, then you're finding yourself a really good one, and congratulations.

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Diane Brandon Moody: But just let it go a little bit longer.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Let it go. Let it marinate. Let it stew.

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Diane Brandon Moody: It will, you will appreciate it in the long run. If you do that.

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Diane Brandon Moody: Thank you once again for sticking around with me for this 12 mini-episode.

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Diane Brandon Moody: podcast marathon, and Once again, Thursday, July 9th, 7 o'clock p.m. Central.

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Diane Brandon Moody: For Same Man, Different Outfit, come to my website, dianebrandonmoody.com, to find where to sign up, and so you'd get your Zoom link.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And then we'll be also doing this.

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Diane Brandon Moody: And you can talk about, booking a love audit, and, let's talk about Simply Irresistible.

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Diane Brandon Moody: This has been a lot of fun. My tongue is getting tired of talking, so I'm going to take a little break. But thank you so much for hanging out with me, and I hope to see more of you soon. Bye-bye.