Episode 22: Dana Baltutis (Parent Coach and Speech Pathologist) - The Importance of Coaching for Parents

Feeling swamped in the tidal wave of parenting challenges? Take a breath and join me, Dana Baltutis, as we navigate the often turbulent waters of raising kids with a steady hand and a clear vision. I explain why Parent Coaching is important for parents to help and support them be the best they can be for themselves and their children. Join me to learn more about what coaching is and isn't and how parent coaching can benefit you as a parent!

danabaltutis.com,  mytherapyhouse.com.au, https://mytherapyhouse.com.au/your-childs-therapy-journey/ https://www.danabaltutis.com/services

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Importance of Parent Coaching

Dana Baltutis 1:25

Hi parents and listeners , welcome to the Empowered Parent Podcast with Dana Baltutis . Today I'm going to talk about parent coaching and why it's important for parents . Well , it's important for everybody , but in particular for parents . Have you , as a parent , felt overwhelmed , trying to juggle everything in your life your child's needs , your family's needs , your child's school's needs , your own needs , and so the list goes on . You see other parents at school pickups and drop-offs or at your child's sports club on a Saturday morning and you think how have they got it all together ? What's wrong with me ? Why can't I get it all together ? But , believe me , they haven't . They're also probably struggling in some part of their life . It could be in their relationships , financially , their workplace . They just don't show it or it's not apparent in that moment .

Dana Baltutis 2:35

Scrolling through social media , you see other people's achievements , celebrations . People are smiling , they've got lots of people around them and you think why is this not me ? Why is this not my family ? What am I doing wrong ? What am I missing ? You're not missing anything . You're not doing anything wrong . The only thing that you are not doing is reflecting back on yourself and noticing what you are doing right , what you have done in the last hour , day , week , month , year .

Dana Baltutis 3:15

Parents are often the harshest critics of themselves . They see everyone else as doing the right thing , while the voices in their heads keep judging them and telling them that they are doing something wrong or there's something that they are not doing , instead of what they're doing right and what they are doing . That's actually human behavior . That's human nature . Parents have a very difficult job caring for their child , the household , their other family members themselves and just making sure life flows , because , as a parent , you're not only responsible for yourself , but you're responsible for another human being . Thoughts and time are consumed by tasks and jobs . This is why working with a coach is so important .

Dana Baltutis 4:14

So what does working with a coach give you ? Well , first of all , I believe a coach can help . I know I've actually had a coach myself . I still have a coach , and whenever I'm just muddled up in my thoughts or I'm not sure where I'm going or where I'm heading , it's really important to have a person from the outside just show you the way or make things clearer .

Dana Baltutis 4:42

A coach does not do things for you . A coach supports you to come up with what's right for you . It is sometimes difficult to ask for help because people have the perception that we , as human beings or parents , need to be good at everything , but that's not the case . We are all human , but that's not the case . We are all human . Parents are human . We have needs , we have limitations , we have limiting beliefs . We have limiting beliefs about ourselves , about our child . We all have limiting beliefs of what we're good at and what we're not so good at , and that's okay .

Dana Baltutis 5:33

A coach works with you in finding your superpowers and asking for help when it's needed . It is really really hard to ask for help , and it's actually a skill that needs practice , and once you start practicing , it becomes easier . A coach can also support you in having time for yourself . So even when you're meeting with the coach , there is already time that you have put aside for yourself to talk to someone about you , with you and what your needs are . It's really important that you have that time to fill your bucket Someone that you trust and connect with , and someone that can celebrate your achievements and champions your struggles without any other distractions , competing tasks or jobs , and that means that it's a quiet time where you are able to discuss what is on your mind with someone that you trust and someone who's highly skilled and has techniques and strategies to get you where you want to be . A coach supports you with giving you strategies to reframe your thinking . If you're feeling overwhelmed , not good enough , hopeless , like you're not getting on top of your day-to-day tasks , finances , health , someone like a coach will work with you to find the root causes of these thoughts and processes and work out any residual negative emotions around these areas and how you can help build compelling , meaningful goals for your future .

Dana Baltutis 7:31

Many of us have negative emotions and a lot of our beliefs and values and how we feel . It's coming from our unconscious . We are not even aware of it . Did you know that only 5% of our communication is conscious ? 95% of our communication is unconscious . So a good coach is going to help you work on . What are those underlying beliefs limiting we call them limiting beliefs and limiting decisions that we have , and negative emotions that keep us living in these same patterns , keep us interacting in the same way , because we're all sort of walking around in a trance or in our own perception . So it's really important to have someone else to say , hey , this is where you're looking . Look over here , you'll see something different . Look over there , you'll see something different . So that's why it's also important to have a coach . And so that brings me to my next point .

Dana Baltutis 8:42

A coach is someone who can break you out of your thought cycle . Okay , but the first thing is you need to want to break out of that thought cycle . If you don't want to break out and if you want to continue living like you're living , then no coach in the world is going to be able to help you . The first thing is you need to want to break out of that cycle yourself . Thing is , you need to want to break out of that cycle yourself . You know , have you noticed that once you have a problem well , I know that when I have a problem , I might keep thinking of that problem over and over and then similar problems come up . So it's like I haven't learned that lesson and I'm learning that lesson again and again and again . And then , once I learn the lesson , then those problems will disappear .

Dana Baltutis 9:33

Often people feel like they've told me that they're drowning in their problems . They feel overwhelmed , lethargic and like nothing they do is right , and they get themselves into a vicious cycle . And this is where working with the right coach can help , can help you break out of those vicious cycles or those lenses or those trances that we put ourselves in unconsciously . Everything is unconscious . A coach can also help you reframe any negative thoughts , limiting decisions or beliefs you might have about yourself , such as I can't , I don't know , I never do that , I'll never get there , I'll never be enough . These negative thoughts , beliefs and decisions are something from our past . So , remember I talked about the unconscious . So we have stories in our unconscious that are on autoplay all the time , and a coach is going to help reflect and use strategies to work with the unconscious to bring out those stories and to heal those stories . A competent coach can help you break through these and design a better and more positive future for yourself , a compelling future that is meaningful , so not a future that you've inherited from your family members or a future that your conscious mind says you have to , should , must do , but it's a compelling future to be the person you are destined to be , because I believe we are all destined to be someone that we've come to be on this earth .

Dana Baltutis 11:20

A coach can help reframe any negative thoughts , limiting decisions or beliefs you may have about your children . So they can't , they will never , they won't be able to cope . Sometimes we don't give our children the benefit of the doubt , we don't trust in their innate abilities . For example , you may want to protect your child and you may feel they won't be able to cope in a particular situation . A coach can work through these beliefs and thoughts and determine if they are real for the child . Or are they a projection of your own limiting decisions and beliefs you are placing on your child ? For example , maybe you can't cope with a certain situation , so projections are what ? So we really can't see what we can't experience ourselves ? Okay , so we perceive what we know within ourselves . So what they say is perception is projection . So whatever I see , I actually have in myself . So , for example , if I have high expectations of the children that I am working with or that I'm living with and I feel like , oh , they're just not good enough and why aren't they getting those grades , is that part of me that I don't like ? Like what would happen if I didn't get those grades ? Did something happen to me that I felt very vulnerable when I didn't get the right grades at school ? And now I'm trying to protect that child ? Just know , children are resilient and they are on their own journey . We are there as their guides . So that is really important Our own preconceived ideas and beliefs about what our children should be doing and need to be doing .

Dana Baltutis 14:02

We often place them in overstimulating , even traumatizing environments for them , to their detriment , but based on what they should be able to cope with , what they should do , for example . This is when maybe we think our child needs to play a particular musical instrument , or our child needs to be playing in a particular sports team . Maybe our child doesn't want to play sport , maybe they don't want to play a musical instrument , maybe they want to do art instead or dance , or just , you know , free-flowing music or be in a band . It's really important to listen to children . Children know who they are innately , and it's just by our superimposed adult perceptions that they start to shape themselves to be who we want them to be , and that's when things can get really blurry , messy and muddy . So and the other thing is , sometimes we don't want our children to be different than their peers .

Dana Baltutis 15:16

So again , my question is why is that something about you as a parent that you've got that um fright that ? Why should they ? Um ? Why ? Why do they need to be the same as their peers ? Are you scared to be the different to your peers as an adult , and neurodivergent individuals are . They're the core of society . They make society right . So I mean , have a look at Einstein , have a look at Jobs , have a look at Temple Grandin , like these are all trailblazers . So it's really important for us to respect and celebrate neurodivergent people . They've got a lot to teach us and sometimes , you know , we have these underlying thoughts that we're not even noticing , but they're in our unconscious right . So there might be something like I don't want to be different , I'm ashamed to be different .

Dana Baltutis 16:30

And again , a coach can help you work through this and celebrate you know your differences . And a coach can help you design a positive future for yourself and your children Positive , achievable , compelling goals that inspire , motivate and drive you to be the best parent you can be for yourself and your children . Because when we are in our life , when we're in our true , true essence , when we are true to ourselves , that is when we are energized . If we are not true to ourselves and we're just going through the motions , we're on automatic , we feel depleted , we feel like always lethargic , there's never enough , we're not good enough . It's always from that lens that we're perceiving life . But when we are in our true , true self , when we're working from our core , our true core , that's when we're energized .

Dana Baltutis 17:41

So how do you find the right coach ? Well , during a discovery session

Finding the Right Coach for You

Dana Baltutis 17:48

. So a discovery session is your first introduction to a coach . Just notice how you feel . So , when you're having a chat with a coach , notice how you feel . Are you gelling with that coach ? Is the coach , is what they're saying to you , resonating with you ? Do you feel like you can trust the person to work with you ? Will you be able to trust the person to you know ? Talk to them about things that you're worried about . To talk to them about things that you're worried about .

Dana Baltutis 18:21

The coach that you're looking at . Have a look and see . Has that person got any programs they can offer you ? What are they ? Do they resonate with you ? Are they meaningful to you ? Has the coach got experience working with children and parents ? This is extremely important . If the person has experience in their coaching area , then they will be vested in their coaching area and be able to draw on many facets of their knowledge , skills and experience in helping you . And this is a really important point does the coach believe in you and believe you can change . If you feel the coach does not believe in you , then it will be difficult for you to change . Go find another coach .

Dana Baltutis 19:12

We grow from loving mirrors , from having champions in our corner , from loving mirrors , from having champions in our corner . If we have someone that is really believing in us , then we will believe in ourselves more . We all need reflections . We all need those loving mirrors . The other thing is does the coach have coaching training ? We all can be coaches for ourselves and others , but we also need to learn different techniques that are effective for that person that we're working with as a coach .

Dana Baltutis 19:43

For example , I'm trained in neuro-linguistic programming and coaching . I'm trained in timeline therapy , hypnosis , the Hannon Parent Program and DIR floor time . So all of these help me be a coach who can support parents , make the changes they want and need to be the best they can be for their children . So it's really , really important to have a look and see what is your coach trained in . So I've been talking a little bit about neurolinguistic programming and I just want to cover a little bit . How is neurolinguistic programming and I just want to cover a little bit how is neurolinguistic programming or neurolinguistic program coaching more specifically , different to traditional therapy . So when I say therapy , I mean counseling and psychology and and things like that . So the NLP coach gets faster results because we don't delve into stories and families . We look at strategies and processes , and it's not an either . Or you can work with a neurolinguistic programming coach as well as your counsellor , psychologist , therapist . So that's really important .

Dana Baltutis 21:03

The neurolinguistic programming coach offers techniques that are specific to neurolinguistic programming timeline therapy and hypnosis . We work with the presenting problem without delving into the stories of past trauma , so you don't have to relive your trauma over and over again , you don't have to retell your trauma . We we do something called timeline therapy , where we go back in time , but we don't go into the trauma . We go into the unconscious mind and what the unconscious mind is learning from that trauma . We focus on the processes a person uses to do a specific problem . So how do you do worry ? How do you do stuckness ? How do you do having high expectations ? And then we provide strategies to change these processes , so reframing and breaking through these processes . So again , all of these doing processes are embedded in our unconscious mind . We don't even know that's what we do . So with a neuro-linguistic programming coach and a timeline therapy coach and a hypnosis coach . You are going to be unleashing these doings and you're going to be reframing or changing the way you perceive and do things .

Dana Baltutis 22:32

The neurolinguistic program coach is interested in the person's present and works to help them create a compelling , meaningful and achievable future . So that's really important . We work with the present and we work towards the future . We believe that the person is perfectly capable of finding their own solutions . So it's not about coaching , is not about giving the person solutions , but it's about helping the person find the path to their solution . That's really important because if it's a top down approach , where the person is given the solutions , they're not really authentic to the person or their path of development . But if it's a bottom up , which means it's coming from the person , from their unconscious mind and becoming conscious , then that means that that person is actually feeling it , living , owning those solutions .

Dana Baltutis 23:36

And the neuro-linguistic programming coach assumes that the client is healthy , so not broken , and wants to create a better future . So we assume that the client wants a better future for themselves , they're not broken , they're healthy . And the other thing is everyone is an amazing human being , you know . It's about looking at the excellence of everyone , not looking at what's not right . So we're not going down the disability field , the medical field . We are going down the holistic field that everyone is a magnificent human being and they are on the journey of finding their magnificence , their superpowers .

Dana Baltutis 24:25

I believe personally that coaching is a must for everyone , and for all parents in particular

6 Week Parenting Coaching Program Available

Dana Baltutis 24:32

, to give them time to think and reflect about their own needs and ways of parenting and learn new strategies and thinking about things so they can be the best they can be for themselves and therefore as parents for their children . So if you would like to know more about my coaching programs , I've got a really great six-week program . Please go to dhanabaltutiscom . That's dhanabaltutiscom . I've got that in the session notes and I really look forward to hearing from you soon and working with you to find your magnificence and your excellence that is inside of you . Happy parenting . Bye for now .