Unschooling Series with Paige Carter (Parent, Advocate, Community Leader, Business Owner) Week 8 - We Moved Into A Caravan And Found Our Pace

What if the bravest choice is to stop doing what everyone expects and start doing what your child needs? We sit down with Paige Carter to unpack a seismic family pivot: renting out the house, moving into a caravan, and giving a neurodivergent child time to recover from burnout. It’s not a retreat from learning; it’s a redesign of life around safety, trust, and capacity.

Paige shares how they balanced two very different paths for their kids: keeping Lacey in school to the end of term and donating her uniform later, while removing demands for Oak so he could heal. We dig into the fine line between pushing and guiding, and why she paused most therapies but kept hydro because it consistently led to joy and pride. The wins are wonderfully ordinary: a smooth car ride to drop-off, a self-advocated exit at the zoo without a meltdown, and a spontaneous cold swim where Oakland practiced rockets from physio and laughed his way through the chill.

If you’re wrestling with burnout, compliance anxiety, or the fear of stepping outside the box, this conversation offers a roadmap and real-world proof that small, steady wins add up. Subscribe, share with a parent who needs courage, and leave a review telling us the one rule you’d rewrite for your family.

affirmingconnections.com.au

inclusiveoak.com.au

danabaltutis.com,  mytherapyhouse.com.au, https://mytherapyhouse.com.au/your-childs-therapy-journey/ https://www.danabaltutis.com/services

Transcript

Welcome & Paige’s Caravan Life Update

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Good evening, or hello everybody, and welcome to the Empowered Parent Podcast. And today I am, I think this is our second to last episode, Paige Carter of Inclusive. Welcome. Thank you. Thanks for having me again. Yes, so Paige is sitting in her car in a caravan park right now. So if the sound is a little bit different, it's because she's in the car. So just bear with us. And we are doing these episodes on the fly so people can understand what it's like in a term for Paige, Oakland, Lacey, and Dad, right? Yes. So let's start, Paige. What has happened this week that has been enormous?

Kids’ Transition And School Logistics

SPEAKER_00 3:27

Yeah, so this week's been huge. We have said goodbye to our home. We've rented it out to another family. Uh so we have officially moved into our van, said goodbye to our home, and moved into a caravan park for two weeks. So we're here for two weeks, then we spend two weeks amongst family for Christmas, and then we take off on our big trip. Huge.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

And how are the kids managing this?

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Really well. Like they've just it's it's been good. They're I think they're just so excited. Like they, because we've gone away in our caravan a lot and we've done a lot of travel, they know what travel looks like, what it feels like, what what to expect from traveling. So and they love that, they thrive in that. So I think they're just really excited. And it's not unusual for us to spend time in our van. I think so. They're kind of used to being in that as well because we've done a lot of travel prior to making this commitment of traveling for so long.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

Wow. And Lacey, she's still going to school or not?

SPEAKER_00 4:44

Yes, she is. She's going to school, so she'll finish the school year. And yeah, just like normal. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

So she didn't pack her uniform away or anything like that.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

No, we've got her uniforms. She's still doing her sport. So we've got all of that stuff with us. And then when we leave, we're just going to donate her school uniform because she won't be going back there anyway. Because when we get back, she'll go to high school. So we'll donate her school uniform. And yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

She'll be happy with that. Yeah, she's very excited. See a school uniform. So that was a great session we had last week with Sarah. It was. She's a legend. Yes. What were your do you remember anything that we talked about? What were your takeaways that you felt? Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Oh, that's like a long time ago in my brain.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Yeah, I think for me, it was really about that homeschooling and that you can't really push. And I feel like it really validated that recovery period. And Sarah was even talking about could take up to two years for some kids.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

Yeah, for kids who are in high school. I think like everything that Sarah said to me, or said to us last week on the podcast, none of it really surprised me, or I didn't really learn anything new as such, because I've been working with Sarah for a while now. So that's all stuff that she'd previously taught me, which is why I recommended her coming on the podcast because I thought that you know, like I've learned so much from her. She's made me feel so validated, she's made me uh gain clarity on so much that it would have been beneficial for everyone to hear from her. Um I'm just so glad that she got to come on, and people have got to kind of get a little taste what you get from working with her.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

Yeah, and what I really loved was that you have embodied Sarah's recommendations because I really believe it takes a lot of courage to take that leap of faith to take your child out of school. And, you know, probably everyone else saying, well, just stay a bit longer, you just stay until the end of the year, and and those type of things. And also that everything that you've been telling us this term, Paige, about the you know, about the technology, that it was still playing with the technology, that that's okay, you know. And what I loved, you know, from the session that we had last week with Sarah was you can do really practical things in the homeschooling arena, but again, you need to think outside the box, which that was my only concern was I think some of the parents that I'm working with, they are beyond thinking even inside the box because they're so, so tired. And I think it's okay to just let things go and just go with the flow, right? You don't have to be the creative homeschooling parent.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

No, you don't have to at all. And something really cool that I've learned along the way, and I know that Sarah's helped some families with this in some capacity, but I've also heard of another company that do it, and I will get it so we can post it in the the like comments of this podcast. There are companies where you can meet with someone and tell them kind of you know, like what you know, what games your child plays, like what your days typically look like, and then they form the curriculum for you and put it in all the learning areas. Wow and it's what you do every day, and you wouldn't even think about it as learning or as school or what you know, unschooling or whatever it is. But you could and they just they design that curriculum for you, not for you to follow, but just for you to submit to the homeschooling department to show how your everyday life and where your child is at fits into the homeschooling curriculum just by doing just by doing life.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

I think that would be a huge weight of people's shoulders because it is the paperwork that can be quite daunting. Exactly, yeah, and you know, like that whole process is quite daunting, and I think if people have like curriculum quote unquote or ideas that could get them started, because once you start, it's like anything, once you start playing with kids and and things like that, you just your inner child comes out and you start doing things, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, I will get the name of that company, but one of my clients, she was in this exact position that I'm in now, and they did register for homeschooling, and she was really lost by it, like you said, like it was just too much. She's like, you know, we're all burnt out. I just don't know how to put this all together and think outside the box. And yeah, she did connect with this company, and she said it just made it so much easier, and they literally step by step guided her through it.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

Because I do think just even the emotional toll of making such a big decision to take your child out of school um because basically you're going against you know what society believes and against everything. And I think that's where PDA takes you, doesn't it, Sarah? Um I was gonna say Sarah Page, doesn't it, Paige?

Outsourcing Homeschool Paperwork And Curriculum

SPEAKER_00 10:26

Yeah, absolutely. I think this whole journey of having a neurodivergent child and finding out you're neurodivergent yourself, you know, with or without PDA takes you on this ride of going against the norm and doing things differently because we have to do things differently, otherwise it doesn't benefit our child at all. If we try to, you know, fit in, you know, that little square box, it doesn't work for our kids because they are different, it doesn't work for our families, even us neurodivergent adults. Like that box, we don't fit in that box, and that's okay. It's okay not to fit in the box. Like it's it's it's really cool not to fit in the box, you know. We're all different, and I think the more that you can learn to embrace that and not feel shame for going outside of the box, the more free you'll feel.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

And I think this thought of you know, living outside the box, it's hard to maintain. I think, you know, I know for anyone who is living outside the box, doing something different. And I know, like for myself, you know, even for my practice, I've always lived outside of the traditional speech pathology field because we work with a lot of neurodivergent children and families that have got a lot of anxiety. So we've always got to look at evidence-based practice that is a bit different, and then if there's no evidence-based practice in that area, we've actually got to show evidence that it's working, right? Because that's what we have to do ethically. But I think we all need coaches, just like I have a coach, I have a business coach, I have a speech pathologist supervisor from America that supports myself and my team. We've got OTs that supervise us from outside of our organization. And I think your organization, Inclusive Oak, that's what you basically do, isn't it, Paige? You actually are always championing and coaching and letting parents know that it's okay. It's okay, that's normal, that's normal to feel like that.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

Absolutely. Like that's the whole point of my business. I remember feeling so isolated and alone and scared to make decisions outside of the box when we were first on our journey. And I had so much influence from people that weren't living this life. And of course, because they don't understand what it's like to be a neurodivergent family, of course, their advice wasn't helpful to me. And that's when I went out seeking connection and community and education from people that get it. And whilst I didn't find it kind of already the way that I've curated it, I just put myself out there in the community. I started sharing blogs, I started sharing our story, and it brought all these people to me that understood that I could talk to and actually be like, oh my God, you actually get it. And that that's kind of I guess how I started to get to where we are to create my membership, the inclusion collective, to so that my parents don't feel alone. So they don't feel like they can't make decisions outside of the box. So they can get connection and advice from people that are all that have already made those decisions and they can see the success stories and they can see that oh, okay, like it's actually not too scary to make that decision. It is scary. Like, I'm not sorry, that's probably not the right word. It is scary, but in the long run, like the fear is worth it. Making that leap is worth it.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

Yeah.

Living Outside The Box And Finding Community

SPEAKER_01 15:28

And you also, like we've mentioned, you also help people like through that de-schooling, unschooling, homeschooling journey, right? You sort of support them and let them know which road to take, what to do, where to go.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

Yes or no. I mean, I can chat to them from like a personal level and I share my journey. And I have so within my community, we have like group chats and catch-ups and stuff where you can connect with other people who have been through it. And I think that's so valuable, just as valuable of it as any advice that you can get from a therapist is is advice from people that have lived it like that are walking alongside you not in the therapeutic space. So I think that giving that advice is like you know, whether you should homeschool or de school or unschool is more probably like a therapist role. But from me, like the community that I've created, you'll get advice and stories and lived experience from people that are living it just like you.

SPEAKER_01 16:38

But let's say someone says, What's my first step? Like Sarah was letting us know, excuse me, you wouldn't know what the first step is, right? Like you've got to be.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

And I will stand with you every step of the way through that.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

That's perfect because I know that a lot of parents would be overwhelmed and would say, But I'm scared to talk to the school, or who do I approach? You know, is there a member of parliament or what?

SPEAKER_00 17:33

Yeah, and this is another thing that I do, like, you know, writing emails to schools and knowing what to say and all of that sort of stuff can be hard and scary. So I often sit with parents and we write the email together. They they kind of like, like I say, they word bomber at me, and you know, and I'll write down all of the key points of what they've told me, and then we put that together in an email to send off.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

You are such a valuable resource, Paige.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

And I'm I'm gonna miss our little episodes together because I'm always wondering what's happening. So let's go back to Oakland. What were his what were his, I guess, wins for himself this week?

SPEAKER_00 18:21

Uh we've actually had quite quite a few, three that really stand out for me straight off the bat. So last Wednesday he had hydro again at the pool with his physio, and he did so well. At first he really didn't want to go, he really protested, and I'm still in that stage, you know, where I'm like, do I push, don't I push? I mean, and like we heard from Sarah last week, it can be more damaging to push. And we've stopped all of his other therapies because I didn't want to push him anymore. But with this one, it was one that I knew that when he gets there, he does really truly enjoy it and have fun. So I did just push him a little bit and said, like, yeah, and he and he went and he had the best time, and his physiologist kept saying, I'm just so proud of him, like he's just doing so well. So that was really cool. That you know, yes, he didn't want to go, but he did go and he had a really good time.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

How did you push him, Paige? What is your definition of push? What does that look like in the Carter household?

SPEAKER_00 19:29

So he protested because he just wanted to play his game. He got a new game the night before, so he didn't want to leave that. He really protested, and I just kind of kept like we just talked through it. I just kept talking through it with him that I just wanted him to give it a go. And if what once we got there, if he still didn't really want to be there, then we could cut the session short. And he used a little bit of bribery. Of course. That works real like there's you it's gotta be motivating for like our kids to do hard things, right? Like well, it's gotta be motivating for us to do hard things too, right? So you know, he used a bit of bribery and we got him there. Um so I just I just didn't a lot with a lot of things now, like he was saying no once and I'll just leave it. Like I won't, I won't push the matter. But with this one, I didn't just leave it. Like I I kind of kept touching on it throughout the day.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

So basically, you know what he really likes, and there might be one activity that you are going to really encourage him to do, but other activities not to be able to do that.

Coaching Parents And Writing To Schools

SPEAKER_00 20:38

Yeah, like so his therapist, his therapies, all of his other therapies, um so speech therapy, OT, and developmental education, we've given all of them up. Because yes, he used to enjoy them, but it got to the stage where he was go like well, they were coming to our house and he wouldn't even engage with them, he would yell at them to go away. He didn't want them there. He clearly didn't want them there, he clearly didn't want them in his space, he didn't want to do what they were presenting to him. But when he goes and sees his physio, I wasn't seeing that. I was seeing this happy little boy that jokes and and engages in all the activities and genuinely has a really good time. And I know I can 100% know that it's not a mask because it's not when we get home, it's not like the mask comes off and it's lots of big feelings. It's that he's genuinely really proud of himself and he's happy that he did it and he had a really good time. Fantastic. That's the difference between like when I'll push and when I won't push. If I know when he goes, he's proud of himself, he has a good time, he engages, versus really just you can tell he doesn't want to do it and he doesn't engage.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

All right, what's another win for him?

SPEAKER_00 21:55

The next win was uh he took really well to moving into our caravan and that transition from living in a house and packing up all of our stuff. All he cared about was that his PlayStation was coming with us, and then the rest the rest he said, I can do with that. We can do with that, he said. Gorgeous.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Uh and did you do like a big ceremony like bye house, see you later, and things like that?

SPEAKER_00 22:21

Yeah, we we like obviously we spoke a lot about it coming up, and then as we drove away, we waved goodbye to our house and we talked about the adventure that we're gonna go on, and you know, that it's gonna be quite a long time until we see our house again and what that's gonna look like. We had lots of conversations about that, and then yeah, he's done really, really well just being in the van. We weren't sure how he was gonna go because the the TV that he has to play his PlayStation on is a lot smaller, the space where he can play is a lot smaller, he likes to stand up when he plays, but in the caravan he can't, he has to sit down just because of the space, and we weren't sure if he was really gonna struggle with that, but he hasn't. He's just he's just been happy. That's great. So that's been really nice. And then I well, since we've been here in the caravan, he's spent like a lot of time gaming and just doing all of that kind of you know, really regulating stuff for him that he loves. And he had we had a really successful outing um over the weekend. We went to the zoo all together as a family because Lacey had an experience that she was booked into. And we were there for a few hours and he was running around. He was he was really engaged, he was he again really enjoyed it. But then when he'd had enough, he told us, he said, I'm done now. I I'm done now, like I I don't want to I want to go home. And we we couldn't go home right in that moment because Lacey was still in her experience, but he was happy to sit in the pram and he put his hood over and he had Sam's phone and he put his headphones on, and it wasn't that long until we could go home, and he was really happy with that.

Oakland’s Wins: Hydro Therapy Breakthrough

SPEAKER_01 24:13

So he went into his own world and he knew that you so he's got so much trust with you guys that he knows that you'll know what he needs. You're not gonna say, like, wait a minute or whatever. You're gonna say, right, yep, you've had enough, you put your headphones on, you put your hood on, and you don't have to do anything else. Basically, you can tune out.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

Yeah, absolutely. And we and we did go home as soon as we could, like as soon as Lacey was finished, what she was doing, we went home. And it was just it was nice because it felt like kind of pre-burnout days, because that's what Oakland used to do when he'd had enough. He would just go on his prayer and be quite happy with that. Whereas when he was really in that burnout, like if we were somewhere, we we didn't really go very far with him. But if we were somewhere and he wanted to leave, it was like we are leaving right now, and I'm not going to give you a choice. Yeah, right. And it was like massive meltdowns if we didn't leave right in that very moment, but that's not what we experienced on Saturday. Like he was quite happy to just sit in his pram like he used to be. I love it, Paige.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

I love it, I love all these amazing stories that are coming out.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Yeah, just and then there was actually another win. Sorry, I know I said three, but there's actually been no today, this morning, we we had to go take Lacey to school. Uh, and he got in the car easy. That's another win. Like, there's just been like this week, I feel like he got in the car and he we went to drop Lacey to school and we got back and he said to me, Mom, I want to go on the pool. It was freezing. And I was like, Oh, mate, it's cold. Like, I don't think you want to go on the pool. He's like, Nope, I want to go on the pool. And he bargained with me for a little while. We did some negotiations. I was like, okay, like if you want to go on the pool, let's go on the pool. And he went in and it was cold, but he had a good time, and it was then he went on the water park and then he came back, he had a shower, and then he then he spent the rest of the day chilling out. But it was just like that he was even interested in going in the pool. Yeah, that was so cool that he didn't want to just sit on his his in the van, right?

SPEAKER_01 26:19

Yeah, and the other thing is kids have to learn, right? Okay, so it's cold, you go, but then they learn. Oh, actually, when it's blowing like this, like it's gonna be cold in the pool because you don't know, sometimes the the water's very, very heated.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

Yeah, no, and he he just kind of, yeah, and I was like, that's right, let's go. And he had a good time, and yes, we were probably only in the pool for like 15 minutes, but it was just so nice to see him, like he was doing jumps and he was practicing his rockets off the the edge of the pool, like his physio had taught him, and he was smiling and he was laughing, and I just thought, oh, this is so nice. Like it, I feel like we've really kind of turned a corner this week, and yeah, and also you're in a new environment, right? Yeah, like he's he's got capacity to do things that he he didn't have capacity to do, which is just so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:12

I love that. I love that page for all of you. I think that is so all your hard work has paid off or is paying off for for yourself, for Oak, for Lacey. I mean, how how why do you think he's changed in that taking Lacey to school in that transition?

Moving Into The Van And Routine Shifts

SPEAKER_00 27:32

I think he just is he's just building up more capacity to to like kind of listen to others and to be able to understand without it dysregulating him straight away. Um yeah, I think it's I think he's just building capacity. And this is something that when I first had conversations with Sarah about completely, Sarah from our PDA kids, about completely pulling him out of school, she said to me that it could be a really good idea to pull him out when we did, because it would give him time to recover before recover from burnout before we took off on our trip, rather than pushing him further into burnout, continuing at school, and then going through this recovery period that we've gone through over the last couple of months on the first couple of months of our trip. So I'm so glad that she said that to me and she put things into perspective for me because it's exactly what's happened, right? Like the last few months he's done nothing but sit in front of his his games, but now I can finally see he's coming out of that right at the perfect time when our trip's about to start.

SPEAKER_01 28:48

And I think he's probably yeah, and I think he's probably realizing that, oh, actually, we are gonna be going for a holiday.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

Yeah. But like imagine if I didn't listen to Sarah and I kept him in school, like and it would have pushed him further into burnout. And then, you know, the first three or four months of our trip would have been so hard because he would have been in that thick of that burnout recovery.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Very hard, very hard. Wow, Paige, what a journey! I cannot wait for our last instalment next week and to just reflect on everything that we've both learned along the way. I know that I've learned a lot from you and from Sarah last week, but especially from you and about your experience and just your open heart in sharing everything about your life, because I think that does really help people to understand that you know, parents to understand that they've got to follow their gut when with their kids, basically.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

Yeah, absolutely. And I just yeah, I'm so grateful to you as well for you know putting everything out there that you do and and having time for parents because I think there's there are unfortunately a lot of therapists out there that are stretched so thin and they cut their main concentration is on the child, and parents can often and I I can understand that I there's nothing you know, I'm not saying anything against that, but parents often just get forgotten, and it's yeah, so yeah, I think people can forget how hard it is for the parents that are going through this every day, definitely, and parents are the oxygen, parents are the child's oxygen, right?

SPEAKER_01 30:34

So it's really about having enough oxygen for the child, so we've got to work on supporting the parents to have that as well.

Zoo Outing, Self-Advocacy, And Regulation

SPEAKER_00 30:44

Yeah, like sometimes that doesn't happen. Um, it's so nice when I find other people and therapists or whatever they may be that are concentrating on the parents because I think that it's just so important and it's so refreshing for us parents to find.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

We like you guys inspire me, so that's what keeps us going all the time. Parents like you. Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much, Paige, for taking time out again tonight and talking to us a little bit about your wig. And I'm so happy that Oakland has, you know, he's really turned the corner, which is great for him. I'm so happy for him, you know, because all we want is our kids to have a great life and the parents to have a great life. And I love the way you're reflecting that when you saw him in the pool this morning, you know, you were just beaming. I could hear it in your voice. You were just so happy, you were beaming, even though it was 15 minutes, but that's huge. That is huge. And it's self-initiated, right? Self-initiated, still planned, and then he came back, had the shower. I mean, this is huge, huge.

SPEAKER_00 31:55

Yeah, it was. It was so and we were joking the whole time, like we paid like on the way back, we were playing a bit of Chasey and we were laughing, and it was just so nice.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

Oh, I love that. I love that. Yeah, thank you, Paige, for tonight. And I look forward to talking to you next week. I can't wait. Thank you. Okay, bye for now. Bye.