ALL4ONE: A FATHER'S STORY: Episode 6: From Carer To Founder

Brad’s doing the things many families are told to stop hoping for: he’s building a life with purpose, friendships, and a sense of belonging, not just “being cared for”. Graham joins us for a heartfelt final check-in on how Brad is travelling now, why small routines like journalling matter, and how volunteering at a school canteen can become real confidence, dignity, and community connection.

We also talk honestly about what changes for parents when the caring load eases. Graham and Tracy are learning to plan for themselves again while still staying connected through strong systems: written shift reports, digital documentation, and photo updates that create real transparency. That practical approach feeds straight into their next chapter as founders of All For One Ability Services, moving carefully, building foundations, and designing supports that start in the community and can grow towards day programs and short term accommodation when a person chooses it.

Then we get into the big topic families are living with every day: the NDIS. Graham shares why the NDIS has been crucial for Brad’s choice and control, identity, and safe supported living, and why plan reviews can trigger real anxiety when funding uncertainty puts families back on the hook. We also explore why therapy should be ongoing maintenance for adults, what better looks like for the disability support workforce, and the “weather” we bring into a shift, because feelings often land before words.

If you know a parent or carer who needs hope grounded in real life, share this conversation. Subscribe to the Empowered Parent Podcast, leave a review, and tell us: what would you change to make disability support in Australia safer and more human?

admin@all4oneabilityservices.com.au

danabaltutis.com,  mytherapyhouse.com.au, https://mytherapyhouse.com.au/your-childs-therapy-journey/ https://www.danabaltutis.com/services

Transcript

Welcome And Brad’s Progress

SPEAKER_03 0:02

Well to um we can hello generally we reach the following o'clock in strict we theory following the story of wonderful damage, a beautiful family and a lightly built through challenge and how beginning and caring for the own someone has now eventually grown into supporting other families and other adults with disabilities. Today we're going to talk about where Graham and Brad now and becoming business owners after years as carers, supporting other self-care aspirations and thoughts on the future of disability support in Australia. So welcome back, Graham, for the last time, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

I know I'm sad down and I must admit it's it's been really helpful for me to share. So yeah, good. Hi, how is everyone? Yeah, here we go.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

I love it. So Graham. After having spoken to you for the last five weeks and going through your incredible story and your incredible vulnerability of sharing what you felt and what you experienced and what you learned. How are you doing now? And how is Brad doing now?

SPEAKER_00 1:36

We'll start with Brad first. He's he's he's doing really, really well. He's still got growth and things like that, but overall, he's uh a man that's living his life, setting his own path. Yeah, so he's doing really, really well. We're really, really proud of him. And having that team support has been crucial for it as well. So yeah, but he's he's living the life he's he's very um good. Like I I remember like I've been told to do journaling through my experiences with mental health, and I can't do it because I've got no one to write to, but I watch Brad do it every day and things like that, and you know, when he needs that timeout, so he's he's doing well both physically and mentally, which is which is really, really cool. So that overall awesome. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:27

That's wonderful. And I think when you say the journaling and you can't do it, you've got no one to write to, you could always write to yourself.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

Yeah, well, that's on me because Bradley's doing it. So he said, I see that's my sort of issue, you know.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

So you're still learning. You're still learning. Brad's Brad's already got the strategy for himself. You're figuring out your own strategies, and it might not be journaling because not everybody can journal, and you know, some people just don't like it. Whereas for Brad, that really helps him.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Totally. So, yeah, so I see him doing well physically but um uh mentally as well with his mental health. So, and that's why we're seeing him with his growth. So it's not just one thing, it's both things. So, yeah, I'm really proud of him, and yeah, he's taught me so a lot, so much.

SPEAKER_03 3:18

So, yeah, and emotionally and socially, right? Because now he's got his crew, he's got his team, he's got his friends, he's going to uh he's got a job.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

Yep, yep, yeah, he's volunteering in the canteen. Yeah, so yeah, he's just yeah, it's he's got a purpose.

SPEAKER_03 3:38

He's got a purpose.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

Purpose, belonging, his voice is being heard, just everything that I want to need as well, you know what I mean? So, yeah, we're kind of got that formula at the moment that's really working well, and the growth is really, yeah. As a dad, I'm so proud of him, like after all those challenges and to see where he is now. Just really, really special. Even volunteering in the canteen two days a week, you know. It's again that was good for us because it's a school, and Bradley spent 10 years in school, so he knows automatically what a school is. So, and he's love is helping it, love the children and things like that, and preparing things, and yeah, it just works really well for him.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

So, yeah, really and I'm sure the kids love him too.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah, that Bradley's biggest joy is giving them the food, the like the lunch box, the food, you know, just that interaction. So yeah, it's working really well, and we're really thankful for that opportunity that yeah, he's been able to take, which is really cool. And he's given back as well. I love that side of it as well, you know.

SPEAKER_03 4:42

So yeah, I love that giving back. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

It just you know, it doesn't have to be big, but he's doing something and giving back, which is really, really important to us to us all.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

And what about you, Graeme? How are you doing now?

SPEAKER_00 4:57

Have you got an hour?

SPEAKER_03 4:58

No, yes, we have actually.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

I'm doing well. I'm doing well. Yeah, I'm doing well after everything, and just really meeting my needs now, which is really important to me. Having that balance, yeah, really enjoying like not having the pressure of like Tracy and I just being those that carer. We we're now like for Tracy and I, we're in that phase of where it's just the two of us sort of thing, so that's a whole new change as well. As I said, I'll normally burn out in October with the burnout, but this year I'm sort of like getting on top of that first. So Tracy and I go on to Japan in August.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

Fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

That's our first overseas trip, really, without Bradley and that sort of thing. But yeah, we yeah, just developing our own. We we still want to do the lap of Australia, Tracy and I want to do that. So um, and we both want to see snow. We've never seen snow. So just yeah, really nice little things like but instead of planning for Bradley, we're planning for ourselves, which is really, really cool.

SPEAKER_03 6:03

So yeah, and what a big transition in mindset, you know, where you've said

Parents Reclaim Time And Travel

SPEAKER_03 6:09

instead of planning for Brad or for Brad and us, we're planning for ourselves because Brad's planning for himself. He can he if he wants to go somewhere, he'll let people know, right?

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Totally, yeah, yeah, definitely, without a doubt.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

Or not, or if he doesn't want to go somewhere, he'll let people know.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

Exactly. And that's really cool to hear his voice too. But yeah, it's time for Tracy and I. And yeah, I'm really excited, really exciting that we're both in the space now. We can just be parents. I mean, even going to Japan, you still have as a parent thought, you know, you're still a little bit, oh, a little bit of anxiety. But that's my insecurity because I know he's gonna be fine. You know, he's got that support, his support team, and he's getting what he needs out of it. So yeah, but really exciting. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:58

Oh, how wonderful to have that support team where you've which you've built over the years, and now you can reap the rewards of having time for yourselves and time, you know, that you said that time for your relationship with Tracy.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Yeah. And we we can go away as well because the way we've got it set up, so like we have reports every shift, so it's all digital on podio, podio platform, and we have a photo circle where pictures must be. So we can still be in Japan and understand what's going on without actually physically being there. So that helps us well, you know. Okay, he's had a good day, or he's you know, that's been a good shift for him, and that sort of thing. So yeah, but it's all about Tracy and I now, I guess, really. It's really nice. I struggled to see that happening earlier on, but the light at the end of the tunnel, we've we've hit that light now, we've passed that tunnel. We're we're confident that if there's challenges with Bradley, the team's got it and all that sort of thing. So it's just a really nice calm space.

SPEAKER_03 8:05

I love that. I love that. And so you're you've arrived at this space, and now you're going to start, or you've already started, a new part of your life, and that's about starting your own business, all for one. So, Graeme, how did the idea for the business begin?

SPEAKER_00 8:30

That was about 22 years ago when Bradley was first diagnosed, as I said earlier. I wanted him to have an opportunity of employment somewhere or somehow, or I didn't have that vision of that early days. So I guess it's begun to give Bradley the opportunity of full-time employment. So then he's giving back in that way as well. So yeah, just to create that opportunity if he likes to take that opportunity with the business, then that's cool. If not, that's fine. We understand as well. So it's just putting the opportunity out there. So yeah, just creating it.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

So tell me how you envision that would work. You know, what would Brad do? What would his role be? What gap is the business trying to fill for Brad, for yourselves, for other people?

From Carer To Business Founder

SPEAKER_00 9:21

Well, I think Bradley's good enough with the cooking skills. And the thing I like about it is Bradley helping his peers, giving back to his peers. It's it's not, you know, it's his group sort of thing, you know, he's his people sort of. So it'd be really good if we can get that sort of in a day program, or these are all ideas at the moment. I'm speaking to consultants, and there's a whole world to it as well, you know. So yeah, it's just to create opportunity. I mean, I really only the business was my first goal. The second goal I probably am chasing in probably five years or something, is that awful one can buy a supermarket, a small supermarket. And that leads back to the days of when Bradley was in the supermarket and didn't want to take him, but he really loves supermarkets now. So, you know, and that gives other people opportunities as well. But these are all just visions at the moment.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

So I'm working with consultants and Tracy and I'm working with consultants, and yeah, there's a whole lot that goes into it. I'm really looking at building the foundation. You have the foundation now with NDI's conduct and the guidelines and everything like that, but we've still got to build our foundation as well. Because my biggest fear is if we start something and we can't continue it because it's a decision we've made or things like that, or something we could have done better, then I find that hard to wear because you know the participants are gonna lose that day options or whatever. So it's really about building that foundation first and yeah, just going slow and learning, learning our trade, you know, getting registered, NDIS register registration. There's a whole whole process in it at the moment. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:07

And I also think, you know, owning a business, I know for myself, it's a huge personal growth. And, you know, like we talked about, you know, last week, it was about that you really need the consultants and coaches and you know, what you don't know, you don't know until someone tells you and you think, oh, I didn't really know about this, you know, and you think, oh gosh, okay, let me let me get on this now. And it is a lifelong, I really believe if you're in a business that you love and you've done from your heart, it's your vocation. You know, it's your purpose, it's your vocation. Uh it's not, it's not a of course, if you're a business, you need to make a profit, unless you're not a non-profit or a charity. But if you're a business, you really need to get the income in to be able to support the your purpose, to support your vision, to support what you want to do, to help other people out there.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

Totally, totally. And we understand we can't help everyone. That's just not possible. So we're looking, yeah, for that leash group sort of. Yeah, but yeah, consultants, definitely. We're looking at a mentor as well, business mentor, and you know, because yeah, we're just coming out of that parent world and then into a business world is a whole new world sort of thing. So but it's exciting because it's our passion, and that's yeah, and the opportunity to give back as well. So super.

SPEAKER_03 12:39

So if anyone's listening to this and they're like, wow, what a great idea. These parents are really inspiring. I want to help them, I want to volunteer my time for them, I want to volunteer some coaching, some mentoring, I want to give them a donation to buy a supermarket. What would you say to that, Graham?

SPEAKER_00 13:04

If it was a donation, I prefer it went to a veterans' mental health charity.

SPEAKER_03 13:10

Great.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

You know, I feel like we to that foundation is part of you know, working slowly towards things and having those tough times, and then before we have all the pretty stuff, and then let's go. It's not about that for us, it's about growing into that space. And I guess that what sets us apart is we bring that parent view as well. So every every decision that's made to like with the team as well, we have that parent side of it, which is really thoughtful as well. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:43

And that's what I love about you, Graham and Tracy. You are very community-oriented and you don't only look at your own journey, but you look at other people's like the veterans mental health group, you know. So, and you being uh ex-military, it's very important that you, you know, you're actually advocating for them as well. So it's not only Brad, not only yourself, but everyone else out there, right?

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Internally, and to the business, I don't have the physical or mental strength to do it, sort of yeah, you know, I just want to be here and there, sort of thing. But what I can give to the business is what I got left, and that's my voice. So, yeah. I I'd really like to work with parents, like not on fee base just as a volunteering thing and talk to parents, you know, if you want to have a chat, that sort of thing. So that's where I kind of see my role. I don't have the strength to be on the front line or do that, or I just don't have that strength. I just that's not where my passion. My passion is getting a company started and the team actually looking after the company, not Tracy and I. Because it's a team thing. So instead of wearing that burden all by yourself as well. But yeah, I yeah, I just feel I'm tired, you know, after all everything. So yeah, for me it would be working with parents. I really want to work with parents and help them up, you know, help them where I can. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:16

So there's still lots to work out in that business structure and system.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Oh, it's a startup business, you know. We're not yeah, and and like we've got one service agreement for a person that we um provide support for, and we're happy with that. And we're not looking to get 10, 15 because while we've got that one person, you know, we we're learning everything and getting everything even better than what we've got at now. So it's just a growth sort of thing. But yeah, in the future, yeah, definitely. We're working on getting a digital footprint now. Um, we don't have a digital footprint, so yeah, and we also have to respect that Tracy's got full-time employment. I've got my issues as well, so we're working to our pace as well, but it will be something that's solid, has a purpose, and if someone chooses us to support them, then only the best, you know, it's it doesn't matter whether it's for us.

SPEAKER_03 16:12

If someone's listening now and they've got an adult son or daughter, a loved one, and they want to reach out to you for support. Is there a way that they can reach out to you or you're not ready yet?

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Yeah, we we have an email, we don't have a digital footprint, but we have an email address, admin all for one ability services.com.au.

Designing Transparent Supports And Scope

SPEAKER_03 16:37

Yeah, and I'll put that in the notes.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

Yeah, and the four is the number four, so it's all number four obilitieservices.com.au. Yeah. And then that's right. You know, we're looking probably 20, 30 people for our structure, you know, so it's about having a group that is also compatible, or you know, it's so it's not just let's go get the people and away we go. There's a there's a thing, you know. When we support someone as well, we'll like I learnt resources with Bradley. So is a resource that we need, or you know, is there like a schedule to identify what we're doing on that day? Reports again through podio, and we've done risk assessments for people and things like that for the person. So yeah, just what I would have liked to see more of when I was going through this with the parents. I I want transparency, complete transparency, you know. So there's a lot of report, and there's a lot and pictures and things like that. But as I've learned, if it's not written down, it didn't happen. So we want everything, everything written down, you know. And it's not because we're being hard, it's because, you know, with the podio, you know, mum's got a link to the podio. So she goes on, she can read the report, what happened, and everything like that. It's just being transparent, leaving that paper trail and that sort of stuff. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:03

So has All for One now definitely got specific scope, or you're still trying to work it out whether you're going to be supporting people in volunteer positions out in the community, whether you're going to be supporting people in their living arrangements, or is that still being worked out?

SPEAKER_00 18:25

The basic model would be we'd like to bring someone on and then work with them in the community and then give them their choice, what they want to do, and everything like that, just to build that relationship. And then we'd like to hopefully open it up to a day program and then work on STA. So it's all those steps getting ready for that time if the person chooses to move out. Right.

SPEAKER_03 18:50

So basically the goal is short-term accommodation for the person, right? So that's where, say, for example, the person's been living with their parents, their caregivers, and now is the time that they need to the family's thinking about the person going out into the community going out and living somewhere else, but that's really harsh because it's a big transition. So you're basically thinking about how can we support that person to find purpose in the community, do a few things, do a few hours, then maybe do a day option, and then maybe going out and doing short-term accommodation. Is are they the steps?

SPEAKER_00 19:32

First thing on life skills in the day programs and things, just making it fun and everything like that. Yeah, life skills, yeah. Independence. Yeah, totally, 100%. Because you know, when Bradley moved out, you know, there were areas that were challenging for him because he hadn't been exposed to them.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

Just those those little things like exposure to washing his clothes. He hasn't got that yet. That he gets the basket and he takes it by the washing machine. Great first step. Awesome. Now we can build on that. Just those, you know, I I feel when you can care for yourself, it brings confidence. Yes. You know, it's oh, I can do that. And it's rewarding for it was really rewarding for Bradley as well when he'd done something, you know. So we had a person go into the canteen just to observe Bradley. Bradley was so proud of himself by what he'd done and how he showed it and everything like that, that you know, he he had that joy. It's you know, he he wants to show people as well, you know, exactly. So it's about confidence as well. That builds confidence, you know. Okay, you know, I can and dignity, and dignity, totally belonging, it's your space, it's it's it's everything, like, yeah. Because I think about myself, you know, how when I when I think for Bradley, I'm like I'm thinking, oh, how would that affect me, you know? So yeah, you know, yeah, so yeah, just considering everyone's needs in that moment, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 20:58

Excellent. So what role has your beloved Tracy played in the journey?

SPEAKER_00 21:10

Sorry, just riding the wave of emotion. So Tracy I want to say thank you. And I wanna say thank you for believing in me. And I love you. Yeah. Tough times, tough times. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

I don't mind showing that emotion. That were tough times, that were really tough times.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

But she believed in me and yeah. Supported me. Yeah, so Tracy's nice. I I'm really lucky I found my soulmate. Without a doubt. I have no doubt. So yeah, but yeah, just thinking.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

And it's so important to have that person in your corner, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Yeah, totally. Um, worst feeling for me is feeling alone, I think. So yeah, in a world that you don't understand and tough times, tough times, you know, you're trying to put everything together and then life's still happening and

Tracy’s Role And Relationship Strength

SPEAKER_00 22:14

it's like, yeah. So yeah, but thank you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:20

Yeah. And I and I've known you guys for a long time. And I just I just think your relationship is rock solid because it's been through so much. And you know, you still you're growing every step of the way, both of you.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

And it's exciting, it really is. It's it's exciting, it's really exciting. But yeah, I have some embarrassment in the relationship and everything like that. So I've apologised, but just thank you. You're my soulmate, without a doubt. Without a doubt. And thank you for believing in me.

SPEAKER_03 22:56

Yeah, I love that. So let's talk about how the NDIS has helped Brad in, you know, since it's come into play. How important has the NDIS been for Brad in in his development?

SPEAKER_00 23:15

I think it's crucial. NDIS is part of Bradley support team. Yeah, crucial. Yeah. Sorry, what was the question again done?

SPEAKER_03 23:27

So how has NDIS helped Brad? I guess like why I'm asking this question is if you look in, you know, if you're listening to the media or reading something, you know, there's all this stuff about how NDIS isn't this and the NDIS isn't that and it's not this and it's not that. But I really believe, you know, the NDIS for Brad is a very good news story. So how has that helped Brad and, you know, him to be the man that he has become?

SPEAKER_00 23:59

Yeah, well, without NDIS, Bradley still would have been living at home. Bradley wouldn't have choice and control because he wouldn't want to be here. I'm positive we would have got behaviors, like serious behaviors,

NDIS Success Story And Clear Boundaries

SPEAKER_00 24:13

because we weren't listening to him. What has the NDIS done for him since they've been part of his support team? They've allowed a man with challenges to go in his own home, find his identity, find his path in life. And it's all just been so positive with him. Without NDIS, we wouldn't that that wouldn't have happened, you know. Like we could have still got the house, but it's the support, you know. We need him to live safely and things like that. And he probably, you know, would have challenges big challenges in that area. So I feel like on the news we only hear those challenging things where people haven't used the money right and everything like that. And that sets a bad pre sense for everyone else that doesn't, you know, or isn't in the end eyes field or understands that. So I'm hoping this also shows that there are people out there that are doing the right thing and it's being used for what it's meant to be used for. And that's yeah. Bradley's CEO of his own plan, Bradley speaks. If it's something that's challenging, then we'll guide him or whatever. But he gives Bradley his voice, his belonging, his identity, friendships. Everything that we want. The only difference is I want the same thing, but Bradley has a bit of more challenge understanding how to get that and everything like that.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

And he needs supports. He needs supports to get that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:54

And I know there was a time when you guys were in the transition between Brad leaving home and going into his own home, and there wasn't enough NDIS funding to get his all his supports in place at the same time. And you and Tracy needed to pick up a lot of the work, and as you call them, the shifts. And that was a really that was a big burnout for the family. So I can see how it would be really difficult if families don't get enough funding for what they need for their loved one, because the burden then falls, the burden of care in terms of, like you said, the real burden where families are already at burnout, they would have to then step in and do all the work. And that's basically what happened there at some point with you guys, right?

SPEAKER_00 26:50

Exactly. This is also my other challenge is Bradley's reviews coming up in December. And we've got something that's working, we've got the documentation and everything like that. Now, if that funding falls short, in you know, or whatever, it was reduced or whatever, then there's only two people left to pick up that select. And that's Tracy and I will have to go back in there because we can't bring Bradley out of his home. And the issue with that is Bradley doesn't want that. So that's that's my concern. That's my concern. That's like, yeah, if if our funding's car, what what we're doing now, we make it work. Tracy's really strict on budgets, and she's a finance guru and does all that sort of thing, you know, we stick to that boat and we make it work, you know, that's what we've got. But at the moment, if if that was reduced, then there's only two people to left to pick that up, and that's Tracy and I. So we'd be back in the same stitch as what we were earlier.

SPEAKER_02 27:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

And the problem is that I'm not looking to do that again. I'm sure Tracy and Bradley isn't. So how's that gonna go?

SPEAKER_03 28:06

And I think that's why I love these episodes and these series. And I've said to families, you know, contact me if you've got a story, a good news story, and you know, you're worried that your good news story might be taken away by some government agency, unfortunately. Because now, at least also, Graham, you've got this series to let the NDIS know what is working, and they can hear your story and also see what what great work you've done, and hopefully continue with the funding.

SPEAKER_00 28:46

Yeah, and I just want to say like a big thank you to NDIS, like, you know, and everybody out there, like it's without that support, Brad's life would be really changed. Now we don't just rely on the NDIS funding, Tracy and I do as much as we can as well. You know, it's not just the funding that's part of it, sort of thing. So we like to give as much as well we can and what have you. Uh thank you to everyone for for NDIS because our story would have been a whole lot different, I feel. So yeah. I just want people to know that you know there are people out there doing the right thing. So let's not put that blanket when you see these people that are taking advantage. I mean, that I get so angry when I see that. I really do. I'm like, I feel like you're taking advantage of of a situation that you know, and it's yeah, we we need the money, we understand that to keep the business going, but it's the care, the compassion, it's the guidance to help that person, understanding and things like that as well. Makes me really angry when I see those things on the news. And I hope those people get the maximum penalty that's highly possible.

SPEAKER_03 30:00

Because and I guess I just want to clarify there for the listeners, um you know, that you're not using the money for your business, you're using it for Brad's support, and you almost see it as a business because Brad is the CEO of his life.

SPEAKER_00 30:17

There's a very distinct line because conflicts of interest like that. We have Team Bradley, and when I talk about Team Bradley, I'm talking about it as his dad, and that's nothing, doesn't even nothing to do with all for one.

SPEAKER_03 30:31

No, Bradley's plan is Bradley's plan, and yeah, not and that's where the NDIS money's going to Team Brad.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

Oh, that's Bradley's plan, yeah. Nothing to do with all for one whatsoever.

SPEAKER_03 30:43

And I understand that. I just want to make sure that everybody else out there understands that that yeah, there's no gray, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

Yeah, so we'll never clash. The only thing the business is will offer Bradley an opportunity for full-time employment. Yeah. But Bradley's plan is nothing to do with all for one. They're very distinct lines right from the start. So, you know, this is Bradley's plan. Mum and dad are helping with that plan, Bradley's helping with that plan, but nothing to do with the business at all.

SPEAKER_03 31:14

So, what changes, Graeme, would you like to see for families and adults with disabilities in the future?

SPEAKER_00 31:22

Um yeah, for families. For me I'd like to see that therapy continue in a in a way. I think that was a really important thing.

SPEAKER_03 31:41

Your own therapy, right? Well, no therapy for Brad, you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:47

Like for him. Definitely my own therapy. I'll be working and growing until my last days. I feel that's really, really important for me. Um, and I'm really enjoying it. And it's nice finding myself. Yeah, I just think therapy for in plans is important, not over-ther as a maintenance thing as well, because got to the point where you know therapy ends, that's it. But I learned so much from the therapy. What would I like to see for young adults with disabilities? I would like to see support workers, whether they're sole traders or whatever, be search three qualified and also be NDIS screen checked whether you're uh

Funding Anxiety And What Must Improve

SPEAKER_00 32:29

completely right across the board. So the first two steps I would like to see in there. You know, and what changes would I like to see for families? Also, I'd like them to believe, I don't know, believe in that process, believe in themselves and yeah, you know, I can't say what I'd like to see NDIS changed. That's not my realm, you know what I mean? That's the way it is, and that's the way it is. I mean, yeah, and I'm only speaking from my experience. I know and I've heard challenging stories, but I can only give my opinion on what I've experienced with NDIS. And there's been challenges naturally, you know, but yeah, overall, yeah, it's gone given Brad so much opportunity, so which is really important, which he grows. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:22

I'm just having a reflection about, you know, you said, you know, that you would like adults to be able to still get therapy through the NDIS. And I'm reflecting on how therapy has helped you as an adult. And I know definitely therapy. I I go to therapy to help me as an adult. And the people that we support, even they're more vulnerable and they've got more complex nervous systems than we do. And sometimes they need more support in, you know, communicating, being able to communicate, being able to plan what they want to do, be able to execute, execute, you know, like some activities of daily living and to keep growing in themselves. And I think, you know, we underestimate as long as I think the therapy is in the community, is meaningful, is purposeful, is supporting the person grow in their natural environment. I think that is really important rather than just a tabletop activity where you come in and you do a few things and it's got nothing to do with your real life.

SPEAKER_00 34:32

Totally. You're working towards goals all the time, then you ask goals.

SPEAKER_03 34:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:36

And it and but

Why Adults Still Need Therapy

SPEAKER_00 34:37

this is where I find it challenging because everyone's different, you know, like some people learn faster than Brad, some are slower, you know, depends on the environment, the whole works. But I find it challenging when, like, just as a number, you know, okay, you've got five hours of therapy. Now I know you've got to put a number on it, I understand that, but it's gonna take two hours or three hours to get that connection, you know, and that sort of belief in the participant and the therapist and things like that. So I think it's really hard to put a number on it. I think we just have to be open to that some people will need more therapy than others, you know. But as long as it's monitored and not, you know, everyday sort of thing, yeah. I don't have to think. And that's the challenge with my therapy, like my individual therapy, is okay, I'm starting to proof, like handling challenges and things better. So it kind of sometimes is seen like, oh, well, you're better now than you don't need therapy, sort of thing. Well, that's not the case. As I said, with the car, you buy a new car, you service it. When you don't service it, things go wrong. No different to mental health.

SPEAKER_03 35:46

So absolutely, a hundred percent. Yeah, and if the car has a ding, it's gonna go to the crash repairs.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

Well, all depends how bad the ding is. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 35:56

That's right. You don't want it to have a write-off, right? And sometimes you need to do some extra driver training as well, depending on what you're doing, whether you're towing, whether you're doing four-wheel driving, whether you're doing, you know, what is it, that reactive driving, proactive driving. You know, it's always good to have some driver training as well.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

I mean, yeah, yeah, it's therapy's really important to me. So, yeah, without a doubt. And it's not because I'm attached to the the therapist, it's because I'm having new challenges in my life as I'm going to do that. You know, and it's like I don't want to be in that world where I don't understand because I know that goes challenging for me. Yeah. So the therapist has helped me understand and where that all fits in.

SPEAKER_03 36:40

And yeah. And I know for myself, being neurodivergent myself, and I'm I'm a speech pathologist, right? And I've done a lot of personal development, a lot of professional development, a lot of different therapies and healing, and you name it, coach, you know, being coached. But as I think my neurodivergence as well, I sometimes have difficulty understanding new situations, new social situations, or I have a difficulty understanding why would a person think like that. Would someone even say that? Why would they say that? You know, so it's really helpful always to get a professional to support my understanding of how the world worked. And I see that now. I didn't know that that was what was happening in my earlier years, but definitely since I've been diagnosed, I think it was about two, three years ago, I see that I've had therapy all my life. And it has been to interpret other people's actions, reactions, my reactions, my actions, my words. Why would I say something like that? Why would I emote in that situation? And yeah, it's really helped me be the person I am now. I really think I'm much more a 360-degree thinker now. Whereas I think before I was more of a 180, if not 90 to rethink.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

Same, Donna, exactly the same. You see everything now, which is yeah. But yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:18

And more compassionate. You're more compassionate.

SPEAKER_00 38:21

You have uh I've never had empathy or compassion. I have empathy and compassion and understanding, you know, it's take that judgmental, take the right and wrong out of it. And this is just the way it's come. And and the other thing that I say to sort of like Team Bradley, you know, is you have to have a feelings wall. So when you walk in on shift, you know, no matter what's happening at home or whatever, you just have to be upfront, okay, let's go. Because if Bradley picks up on those feelings that you're coming in with anxiety, it's going to give him anxiety because he doesn't wait for words. He's already looking at the feelings. And that's where reconnecting my feelings help my relationship with Bradley as well, because he's a feelings man. He he words are hard and challenging at times for him. So he goes by feelings. If I go on there anxious, I see it on him. All of a sudden he's becoming anxious. Hang on, don't anxious. You know, what's going on? What's going on?

SPEAKER_03 39:15

So yeah, and that's and that's the attachment, right? So that's the mirror neurons that are firing for someone. The other thing I found a really great analogy. I went to a panel, I was on a panel last week. The business success circle, circle, business success. And there was one lady and she talked about the weather. And she said, like, if we bring in a tsunami, well, it's going to we everyone's going to be in the tsunami. If

Feelings, Hope And Final Advice

SPEAKER_03 39:44

we bring in a beautiful, you know, beautiful day, everyone's going to be in that beautiful day. I know, Graham, you were there. That was very, very significant for me, because I thought we are carrying the weather.

SPEAKER_00 39:58

It's very real for me. I've gone in there as a tsunami and I've seen what happens. I've gone in there as a sunny day. It is a great thing, you know. It's so true. If you go in there hot, it's gone bad for me, you know, because Brad's picked up on those feelings. He doesn't know, and then the anxiety, unpredictability. So I go in there as a sunny day, he loves me. I love you, Dad. And you know what I mean? It's just so true because words are challenging, you know. Even for me, I find words are challenging, and I've heard words and you know, I've believed them. I've kind of lost my belief in words, sort of thing.

SPEAKER_03 40:30

So triggering, triggering. Words can be triggering.

SPEAKER_00 40:34

So now I go by feelings, you know. If someone's speaking to me, how do I feel? You know, you know, that sort of thing. So that's something Bradley taught me as well, you know, those feelings. Oh, I love that. Once I once I he taught me so much, he he serious mental health and like needs, he's been my biggest teacher of all time. Yeah, without a doubt.

SPEAKER_03 40:52

And I always say to families, these people, our loved ones, have come into our lives for a reason. And without them, we wouldn't be the people we are now. We just need to be open to listen and learn and reflect on ourselves to grow.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

Yeah, I mean, yeah, hang on. Yeah. You know, what would I like to say Bradley to Bradley? I guess thank you for choosing me to do that. And I love you, you know. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:33

Definitely. He's a very special man. Bradley's a very special man.

SPEAKER_00 41:37

I'm just so happy with me as he's daddy. You know, it's what I've learned and what he's taught me has made me a better person. You know, so but I'm just thankful he chose me. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:50

I love that. So, Graham, what gives you hope for the future?

SPEAKER_00 42:08

Everything, we're just in such a good place, and I think we're here now. That can only grow, you know what I mean? It's not we're gonna have our challenges, it's like that's life. But before I had no hope. I guess I was in that dark world, like with Bradley, and didn't have those supports. But now I'm at the end of the tunnel and Yeah, I I know it's gonna keep going. Good, you know, it's not even hope. I know, and I just hope that funding stays where it is with Bradley so we can keep growing and showing. You know, this is this is working for people. So what gives you hope for the future? Also, my mental health managing that and understanding that that gives me hope for the future because I believe I can be a self-imbest self-leadership in that space, whereas probably I didn't have that before. The team gives me hope for the future. You know, they're a crap team, they they know their stuff and they work really well together and things like that. So I ever the outcome is is the future and it's all positive for me. So yeah, I can't really find a negative. And it's really strange because when I used to speak about it before, you know, I'd be thinking, oh yeah, this, but okay, I'm really concerned about this and this and this and this. And you have the underlying concern, but with a team that's been set for Brad, and that and yeah, I just I don't really need hope, but you know, I know we're on a winner, so it's more excitement moving forward and watching Brandt grow and watching you know expand that social awareness and all those sort of things. So and yeah, I know I know he's gonna get there. I know it. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:56

I love that. I love that for you guys. So what message? Would you like to leave parents that are listening today and have listened for the last five weeks? What's your final message to them?

SPEAKER_00 44:12

There's light at the end of the tunnel. You know, there is light at the end of the tunnel. And I just want to keep it simple. Believe in yourself. Believe in the process. Believe. You know, it it makes it easier. When I didn't believe, you know, I was overwhelmed by all this. What if, why, what, you know, all that sort of stuff. And that was very damaging to me because I never found answers for what if this had happened, or what if that, or why did that happen, or there was never answer. So yeah, I believe in myself, which was the first step. And then I believed in Bradley, and then I believed in the team, and just believing, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:56

And in your future, and you believe in your future.

SPEAKER_00 44:59

Yeah, well, I've got excitement for the future, so I'm already believing in that. This is exciting, you know. This is, you know, it's it's really exciting. And and the best part is Tracy and I are gonna have our life as well while we're doing that, while that's happening. So yeah, it's just excitement. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:17

Just and if someone's listening and they're thinking, I don't know how to get to that belief, then they really need to go and see a good therapist, right?

SPEAKER_00 45:27

Exactly. And the thing with therapy is we can only talk about it, but you can't make someone go to therapy. You know, it's it has to be that start the conversation, anything, or just you you you need to want it or need it for yourself. So that's a thing, because I know there was times people oh, you need therapy and all this, and it's just it didn't I didn't see it that way. So I was rebellious or pushed back against that and all everything. It's got it needs to become from the individual. So yeah, and that's that's can be challenging too. It's yeah, but just believe, you know, it's you know, challenging event and a good day. It's not always a a bad or challenging day, you know. It's finding that small positive in a day instead of I used to just look at all the negative, you know. I was like, oh, this is overwhelming, but just I start to find that small positive. Oh, friendly was good at the shop today. Oh, that's cool. That's our starting point. Start small, build big.

SPEAKER_03 46:29

So I always, when I work with parents, we talk about gratitude, and I always say, try and find at least one or two things you're grateful for in that day. And it's sometimes it's very, very hard for people to even think of something. So I'll say, Did you get out of bed today? Yes, I did. Be grateful for that, that you got out of bed. Other people cannot get out of their beds.

SPEAKER_00 46:57

Totally. And look, everyone's got a story, and every story is important. Um, I use kind of military here. I was taught in the military, you know. Don't get bogged down, you keep moving forward. Because when you get bogged down, things are gonna get you know challenging.

unknown 47:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:12

Just keep moving forward. And and and it has to be one millimeter a day, even just getting out of bed or opening that blind or to let the sun in or start small. That's what I mean. I mean, don't try to go out there and do whatever. It's like just start small with that one millimeter, it doesn't matter if it's one millimeter or a meter, you know, just keep moving forward in some way.

SPEAKER_03 47:35

Oh, I love that. I love that. So, Graeme, if people had questions for you, they could definitely write in and then we could do another episode on their questions. Would you be keen on doing that?

SPEAKER_00 47:49

Oh, I'd love to do that. I feel like I've spoken, they would like to hear like other people's questions. And you know, what can we do there? You know, put another series together where we're answering the questions of families that's more personalized for the the listeners instead of just hearing everything. Well, have you got anything you'd like to ask or how can we help? Or you know, so yeah, just throw that out shin out there. I'd love to do that sort of thing if families have questions or things like that. I can only share from my experience. But yeah, I'm happy to share if people would like to. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:20

I love that. Okay, thank you so much, Graeme, for sharing your story over the past six weeks. Your honesty, wisdom, vulnerability vulnerability, and lived experience will help many, many, many families feel less alone and more hopeful about the future. And to everyone listening, thank you for joining us on this journey. Parenting and caring can be beautiful, exhausting, complicated,

Questions, Contact Details And Farewell

SPEAKER_03 48:53

heartbreaking, and deeply meaningful and purposeful all at once. Stories like Graham's remind us that growth, connection, and possibility can still exist alongside the challenges. Thank you, Graham, for being here. And thank you, everyone, for listening to the Empowered Parent Podcast. And until next time, take care of yourselves and each other.

SPEAKER_00 49:24

Thanks for listening, everyone. Thank you.