Decide On Joy

What Courage Looks Like

• Jim Covault

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Jim:

Hello, and welcome to this episode of Decide on Joy, a podcast coming to you from Harmony Spiritual Center in Fort Worth, Texas. I'm Jim Covalt and

Pjae:

My name is Rev. Dr. P. J. Stanley and thank you so much for being here today.

Jim:

our topic today. We, we always talk about some, some basic concept or at least concept in, in new thought spirituality. And so a brief explanation of what that is.

Pjae:

Yeah. So just when it comes to spirituality, the idea of new thought and we explain this because we know that there really isn't anything new under the sun. But we're talking about because there's all this ancient wisdom, but what we're talking about is personally Individually and just as a group whatever being able to have a new thought in your own mind about something that you previously thought was true, so we Invite you and we invite ourselves always to challenge our thinking our beliefs our values and ask the question Why is that true? And there'll be all kinds of things that'll come up in your mind and your head, but why, why is that true? Why do I think that? And so it's just about getting more clarity about your life so that you can live the life you actually want to live. So that's what we do here at New Thought. Just challenge what we're thinking.

Jim:

Yeah, clarity, an excellent thing. Clarity. And the topic today is, it's about courage and what courage looks like and the importance of being personally convicted. Which we do not mean you're going to jail. We

Pjae:

do not mean that kind of conviction. No. We mean that you have conviction of your thoughts and what you believe.

Jim:

And so, courage, what is it in this context?

Pjae:

So I'm going to start off with what is not. Because what, because people think, a lot of people feel like, oh I wish I was courageous, I wish I had the courage that that person has. But it isn't something that you put on, that it's a cloak that you wear, that when something occurs that, that, that requires courage, you just put on your courage shirt or your courage hat and you're courageous. No, it is a decision on your part. So courage is simply having the clearest, clearest vision or insight within yourself about what needs to be done in that moment, over time, just whatever needs to be done, regardless of whether it's, whether you're going towards safety or danger. So that's not a part of your thinking when it comes to courageous. This needs to be done. And so safety or danger could be a physical danger where you might be in the way of something, or it could be emotional danger for you. Like you feel like your heart might it's, it's running towards the, the danger because you are convicted and you have no other choice because of what you believe and think.

Jim:

We tend to, well I anyway tend to think of courage, you know, as being, you know, like what you need in war. Courage

Pjae:

under fire.

Jim:

Yeah. That line of country. But yeah, I mean, it might take courage even to think about some.

Pjae:

Absolutely, I love that you said that. Because you, because we're always talking about thinking, and sometimes you already know, your heart or your mind knows that if you go down this path, there's going to be some hurt there. And, but, and you also know that it's necessary to go down this path. path. But it takes courage for you to go down that path and, and step into something that you know from, at the beginning is going to cause some pain for you. And you're not sure how you're going to get out of it. You don't know what's actually going to be down that path. And so yes, it takes courage to step into, or step into the breach, step off the cliff, whatever. It takes courage to do that.

Jim:

And sometimes to then claim whatever you discovered there. A whole lot of

Pjae:

stars, yes, to actually own that. Once you get there, that was my mess, doggone it.

Jim:

Or, or even sometimes just to, to have an independent thought that's not Coming straight off of whatever you're getting on the internet or whatever, you know, that also.

Pjae:

Exactly. That's also a matter of courage to hear something, and I want to particularly because we're going into the holidays, and that can be a rough time around family and friends. for many people. And one of the things I know that happens is you get around the table eating whatever you're doing around the group, and they're just saying some stuff that you just know for yourself is not true. And sometimes you're waging war within yourself whether you should step into the fray and say pardon me. That is not what I know to be true. Because It's a fight on your hands. Yeah, and sometimes you're just not ready for the fight.

Jim:

Yeah, I mean a different kind of courage Courage to say I don't have to do that. I don't

Pjae:

have to do that. Exactly So I'm glad you again brought that up because a courage I started with the thing courage is a decision So it's not just about the decision of stepping into the fray of speaking your mind of whatever that is, but it's giving yourself the grace and the the empathy to say, I'm not ready for that. I will, I'm going to do something. I'm just not going to do something right now. That is okay. That's actually not a cop out. If you know in your heart, you're actually going to do something, but you need to prepare for it. In your heart and get yourself together before you do it. That's a good thing for you. That's loving yourself as well.

Jim:

Yeah. And so, how do you get there? How do you, how do you achieve the, the state from which you can develop courage? Right. As for, yeah.

Pjae:

I think, I think that, you know the, the, the the, the definition that I said is that you are convicted about something. And so how you get convicted, how you have the, the personal conviction about something has to do with what you believe is right or wrong. And everyone has a different set of beliefs and values and they are prioritized in different ways. And so, you, you, you can tell what you believe or what you are convicted about or what you will step into. One of the easiest ways is by how angry you get about something. If you see something and your heart tells you it's not right, it's wrong Like a dog gets kicked or a kid gets slapped or something that just goes against and it hurts your heart. You know that that is wrong. Now you may think, okay, well that's a mom and dad and that's a kid and I don't know if I want to get involved in that. And so you may decide not to, but, but that, that, that begins to tell you the things that you are convicted about are the things that actually bother you. And whether you're going to do something about that or not, are another set of parameters. But that's what tells you what you believe. That's one of the easiest ways to know.

Jim:

Yeah. Yeah. And and it's what you believe is true and not necessarily what's true. What you've been told is true, yeah?

Pjae:

Exactly correct. And so this is, so again, you know, what we're talking about here at New Thought, here at Harmony Spiritual Center, is claiming your own life. And we encourage you to think about what it is you actually do believe, what it is you actually value. Is it something that you believe or value because that's what you were raised to believe and value? Or is it something that is actually yours? Because if it's something that you were raised to believe and value and not necessarily from your family, could be the family, could be the school that you went to, could be your friends, your group, could be your community but if it's something that, that the community believes and your family, the family's community, they believe, but in your heart, you don't. Then, but you're doing it anyway because that's how it always goes. Those are the things I encourage you to take a look at and think, why does it need to go that way? If that's not what you believe, you have the right to live the life you want to live. One man, you know, so one man, one vote, one man, one woman, one life. And so, I don't get to tell you. What's important to you. You don't get to tell someone else what's important to them. So if you you know, if you find yourself getting upset about something and then starting to ask yourself, Wait a minute, that didn't even bother me. Why, why am I jumping into the fray on this one? Because your friends are. And there is something like loyalty. So sometimes, so maybe you're jumping into it because, because loyalty means something to you. And so you want to be loyal to your friends or your family or whatever. And so. looking at what you value and what you believe and how they're prioritized. So if hurting someone, hurting someone's feelings, physically hurting someone is a, you don't, you don't think that's the right thing to do is a higher priority than being loyal, you see? Then if you have a friend who you're loyal to, but they are hurting someone, You see, how it's really important for you to know what's, what you value and what you actually believe in, so that you get to live the life of your choosing. You're not actually living someone else's life, someone else's beliefs.

Jim:

Right, and, and, So, what I'm hearing anyway is that in any particular moment, you might be making a different choice from what you would have in another situation. That is correct. The courage doesn't always look the same in every circumstance. It does

Pjae:

not always look the same because again, it depends on what the importance of what matters to you is and everything can't be at one. At one, at the highest percent. So, I love you, and love is important, and kindness is important, and peace is important. They can't all be number one, the most important thing. So, you have to make a decision. That, that, whatever it is, and prioritize your, your list of what's valuable to you. So you'll know. This is what I call your, your, your DMR, your daily road map. For when you step out of the house, you know who you are and who you're trying to show up as. So that when you go to bed at night, you feel like, okay, I showed up the way I wanted to show up. I didn't show up on autopilot. I didn't show up because this is what was expected of me from my family or my church or my school. I showed up as me because I know how I want to show up and what's important to me. So yeah, depending on what's, what the situation is, like I said about loyalty or hurting somebody, if hurting someone is below loyalty, then you would be loyal to your friends or your family or whoever you're loyal to and not say anything about someone being hurt. Because loyalty was more important to you. So yes, it just depends on how you define it and prioritize it and the set of sit and what's going on in a situation because no situation has just one thing going on that I can be aware of. I mean, we're very complicated, you know, we're very complicated and we can think and we can feel. There's a lot going on at any one time with a situation.

Jim:

Yeah, that's the interesting thing about the daily road map, I admit I don't always consult that map. Yes. No.

Pjae:

Yeah, exactly. So one of the, the, another thing that I want to, I want to share with you, I'm glad you said that, was because these are just suggestions. These are ideas these are ways in which to be if it's something that you want to do. If you're looking at your life and you're, and you think, Hmm, this isn't quite how I thought it was going to turn out. This isn't quite who I wanted to be. These are ways in which you can begin to examine your life and say, well, why is that the case? What would you like it to look like? Why isn't it looking like that? What's not in your life? What, what are you not allowing to come into your life? Because the universe is abundant. And whatever you think, whatever you think is what you draw into your life. So you can change what you think. This is again about a new thought. You can change your thoughts. And actually change what you draw into your life. So, we're, to me that's great news. So we don't ever have to, to just live with something we don't want to. And we get to understand how to keep living the life we want if it's going great. Or if there's a piece of it going great. And of course, There's always change. There's always something that happens, whether it's a job change, a relationship change, the change of a city all kinds, change of a school. There's all kinds of things that change. So if you find yourself stepping into a new situation and you take with you your daily road map, who you know you are, then whatever that community rules are, you step in it knowing whether you're going to go completely with those community rules or not. Because that's not how you are. And you're going to show up in every situation, in every place you are,

Jim:

as you. Right. And, and, you're my, that, that roadmap. I'm just referring back to something else you said, but it has probably undergone some revision along the way.

Pjae:

Yes. I'm saying thank you so much here because you're asking great questions and you're exactly correct. So my own personal roadmap, and I suggest because there's many, many, many things that we value, but I suggest that your daily roadmap is simply the top five. Just have that in your mind, your top five values. When you step out the door, when you wake up in the morning, you just affirm that that's what they are. And when you step out the door and go about your business, those five are in your mind. So let's just say, you say that kindness is one of them, or peace is one. Loving other, loving people is one. Your spirituality is another. Those things are in your mind, so as you go through life or you meet someone or you're just in line and someone has done something really crazy and you're ready to crack them one you can refer back to your DRM and say, well that's not showing up as peace, if I want to hit somebody upside the head. That's not being me. So you get to decide. And then, as you're going through your day, as you're going through the week, as you've gone through the month, and you keep revisiting that, and every morning you say that this is a priority, but you've, at some point you discover, you know what? Peace is actually my top priority. So I'm not going to have it down at three. I'm going to bring the peace and be the peace everywhere I want because I find out As I'm going through my life, that that is really important to me. So you switch the priority around. Or you drop it off altogether. You know, that doesn't matter to me at all. I don't know why I thought that did, but it doesn't. It turns out, as I'm going through my life, that actually doesn't show up as something that matters to me to be in my top five. What matters to me more is caring about people, showing up for somebody, you see. So yes, it's revised all the time. So

Jim:

you can just make that change, but you don't have to go back and think, oh, I should have done this, I should have not I wasted my time with that.

Pjae:

No. Every, everything we do, nothing is a waste because you're learning. We are learning in everything that we do. And you're learning more about yourself. There, there, there, we're, as I said earlier, our minds, our hearts, our emotions, very, very complex. Sometimes we want to be something that we think is a good thing to be. But it really isn't who we are. And not until you go down that path can you even recognize, you know what, that's a waste of time. It isn't me. So why would you be upset that you found out a truth about yourself? Now you can actually say, you can just let that go with no problem. And now actually be more of who you are. So I don't believe anything we do, even the worst of experiences even if your heart has been broken, you, there is something there for you. There's something there for you to know. And to learn, and that is one of the reasons why we talk about experiences by themselves don't help you. Examined experiences is what helps you. So to take a look at something, examine it, and say, Why did that happen? That's not what I would have wanted to have happened. How did, and it's only good to look at what your role was in it because you can't change what anybody else does. So,

Jim:

alas, no, you can't. As much as

Pjae:

we would like for people to follow our own advice, tell, you know, we can tell them what's good for them. Nobody's listening to that. Nobody's listening to that. So examine your own heart and what you want to do and you can change that and that's all the power you need. That's all the power you need.

Jim:

Okay, that's probably a good place to stop for this episode and thank you all for being here And thank you PJ and we will see you next time.

Pjae:

Absolutely. Thank you, Jim