Strength to Decide

Transcript

Jim: 0:00

Hello, and welcome to this episode of Decide on Joy, a podcast coming to you from Harmony Spiritual Center in Fort Worth, Texas. My name is Jim Cobalt,

Pjae: 0:11

and my name is Reverend Dr. PJ Stanley. Thank you so much for being here today. We have a great program. I think we always do, though. I, I say that, but I think we always do

Jim: 0:20

a little self-congratulatory there, but yeah. Hello? Yeah, it's good. It's good. Yeah. Today's episode is called Strength to Decide. Yes. Probably the first of two parts. Unless we zip through the first part, I don't, at Amazing Speed, I don we don't, we have

Pjae: 0:33

a tendency to zip that's not what we seem to do, so I don't have any hopes for that.

Jim: 0:39

Right. So maybe an introduction to what, what. Strength to decide about, well, we're what it

Pjae: 0:44

really means. And so really we're just, you know, on a, on a regular basis, on a daily basis, we're making decisions all the time. You know, you just think about coming over here driving the car, whether I'm gonna zip go fast or slow, get in front of somebody, get behind somebody. Those are simple, you know, just easy, necessary decisions that we make. But decisions run the gamut and they from being as simple as that to being, you know, more difficult decisions. And I think the, the ability to make a decision and how. We can make the best decisions for us. Are the same tools, the same things we need to know whether it's an easy decision or a relatively easy decision, or whether it's a more difficult decision. So we're just gonna talk about about how we, how we just go ahead and make a, make a decision, decide instead of being in this limbo of, well, well, should I, should I not? We can do, we can eliminate that and move on. Yes or no? All right. Possibly it's a possibility.

Jim: 1:34

So. If you're looking for this strength to decide, where do you look

Pjae: 1:39

Exactly. It's a I love it. I love that you said that because it is an outside it it, I love that you said, where do you look? The look, the looking is always inside and I think that's what we're talking about here. This is a, this is a con, this is a podcast on the side, on Joy. So we're, we're, we're, we're talking about decision making all the time and to, to. Decide on, on, to think about and decide on and, and be active in your life. It's just, I don't, I saw something, I heard, I saw something the other day and it, it was about some people, I don't even know where they were, but they'd been passed out a, a box, just a little small box, and, and they were asked to open it at the, the person who passed it out asked them to open it, and it had a date on it. When they opened it up, each person had a date on that box, and the person said, now, oh, this was a, this, I was, it was a class I was in. And the person said, what if that was the day that you die? The thing is that we, we think we're gonna live forever, but we don't know. And if that was the day, whatever they were looking at, that they thought they were gonna die, how much more busy would they get in making decisions and moving forward with their lives? So to me, the decision making is a part of that. Just, just moving forward with your life, deciding to to do that or not. Either way, I'm not even, I'm not even actually saying that you need to make a decision and get on with it. You could just make a decision and say, I'm not going to, I know that something needs to happen and I'm not gonna do it right now. That's a decision. So you can put it aside.

Jim: 3:05

Yeah.

Pjae: 3:06

You know, that's all.

Jim: 3:07

Yes. And, and, and that is just as much a decision. It really is.

Pjae: 3:12

Really is

Jim: 3:12

deciding which way to go with something, you know? Exactly.

Pjae: 3:15

Just deciding. I'm not gonna deal with it right now. I don't want to. I don't want to. That's a good enough reason. Yes. Ah.

Jim: 3:23

Yes. Or sometimes it may, it, I, I'm sure we will discuss this, but it might not be an instant thing that you, you may collect yourself to decide and you may consult your, your inner being or whatever, and yes, your higher self, whatever that is, yes. And, and not instantly have an answer.

Pjae: 3:49

Exactly. Exactly.'cause a lot of times part of, part of what, while we don't simply want to face a decision,'cause we don't know how big it is and how much we're having to get into it, and do we know enough to make a decision? Well, you and I were just talking about this. I loved it because I was talking about going to Paris and we had some ideas about that. But one of the things you shared with me, you said, Hey, you know, there's, you can go on YouTube, there's all kinds of people that have gone and we'll talk about their trip. And you could have a a, a, you can have some information. And so part of the decision making process is information gathering. Whether you get it from your own history, whether you get it from someone that you know has made a decision like that, or might be in a position in the position that you're trying to get to, any number of things. But information gathering is one of the top things to do. If you're deciding that you, or knowing or thinking that you need to make a decision about something, it doesn't have to all be just coming out of your head. It, other people have probably done what you're trying to do. Yeah. Possibly.

Jim: 4:49

Yeah. But essentially you're, we're not necessarily talking about it coming out of your head though. We're talking about We really are not. Yeah. Spiritual guidance. We

Pjae: 4:57

are, we are. Because I think what, when you, when you start to think about something, when have a tendency, and, and this is I think part of the survival technique for human beings is that we're fearful about a lot of things.'cause we can, I mean we're, while we're strong in certain things, we're actually pretty delicate. As far as living beings are concerned. So there's a lot of things that could interrupt that. So fear is a, is a, is a thing that kind of keeps us safe on the one hand, but it also keeps us from living fully, possibly in the other hand. So again, these are decisions and balancing acts and deciding whether or not, or thinking about whether you make a decision or not. Just even thinking about the fact that, Hmm, do I need to make a decision here? Do I need to think about this? Do I need to research this? Mm-hmm. What is this about? Just so that you can unclutter your mind. Just unclutter your mind and heart. And there is a higher self that knows above and beyond fear. So if you start thinking about something, fear gets to take, takes can take hold, doesn't necessarily, but but can. But if you know that you have a higher self, that can see further and more and greater for you in this evolutionary process that we have for of life. And consult that and get to, and we'll talk about that in a later on in this podcast or the second half. I'm not sure how this is gonna go, but we will be talking about that. Finding that and developing that relationship. We've talked about it before. Yeah. All the time. It's about developing that personal relationship with your higher self that'll guide you in a flash and you can count on it. So that's a great thing to know as well.

Jim: 6:28

So, i, I know you, you said that part of this is part of the spiritual foundation of decision making is connecting with your values. Yes. And I know we have talked about that before too, but maybe a recap of that.

Pjae: 6:41

Right. This is I, I'm sure I, I talk about this ad nauseum and I'm sure people who know me just. You know, when they see values coming outta my mouth, they probably try to turn the other way.'cause I'm talking about Yeah, there

Jim: 6:51

you are. So you can, you can stop this podcast now. Exactly. If you're one of those people, if you've heard

Pjae: 6:55

Yeah. If you've, if you've heard me talk about it, you know what I'm gonna say, but I might say it in a different way. So go ahead and keep listening. Yeah. But the, the, the thing is, is the reason why I talk so much about values. And not about other people's, but your own, and we all have them. What we don't know necessarily, what's not at the top of our minds is what values are ours and what are values that have been put upon us by the way that we were grown up by our teachers, by other leaders in our lives that were not, you know, we, we don't have a, we don't, we don't recognize actively that those values that we live by aren't necessarily ours. And so I am. Always asking on the first of the year, particularly when we're doing all of our, our, what is it? Those first of the year things that we're, do New Year's Eve or resolutions. The burning

Jim: 7:41

bowls.

Pjae: 7:42

Huh? The burning bowls, yes. But the resolutions that we do as that, the New Year's resolutions I talk about revisiting your values because the, your values are what I call your, drms your daily road map. So instead of having to figure out how you want to be in a particular situation, if you know what your values are and you have them prioritize the first, second, third, fourth, and five, I don't even recommend more than five. You, you know how you wanna behave in pretty much any situation that you're in. So knowing your values, and that's one of the things that we do when we're talking about making a decision. Your values have to come into place because they will also guide you as well. Into what you wanna do and how you want to end up.

Jim: 8:26

And so you, you would need to establish for yourself what those five values are. You Absolutely.

Pjae: 8:35

You absolutely do. And you can, you can go to, I mean, I love the, the Googler the internet because you can go to the internet and say, Hey, give me a list of values and it'll come up with 300, 400, 500. And I'm saying out of that 500 mm-hmm. Pick five. Pick five. Right. Right. So that's gonna take some doing, sometimes some are obvious, not yours, ob you can look at'em and go, Nope, I'm not, I don't care about that. I don't care about that. Right. So something you can easily do and, and, and there are some that you Oh, no, I like that. That I definitely wanna show up as this. Again, that's what values are, it's how you show up. So I do wanna show up as this. I wanna show up as love. I wanna show up as my spiritual self. I just, I wanna show up as with, with courage.'cause I think it takes courage to go ahead and do the things you wanna do in this life, because there'll be another, a number of people that'll tell you not to because of their fear. Sure. So there's a, there's a number of things and as you list them and then you go through your life, you can go, oh, you know what? I thought this was important to me, but it actually isn't. It turns out family is more important to me than something else you may have had listed. So yes, you list them and then you live with them. And you decide, is this really something that matters to me or not?

Jim: 9:44

Do those sometimes change over time or they remain constant

Pjae: 9:48

at the, as I, as I went through this process and, and, and discovered that the top five for me and then moved them around to say, oh, nope, that wasn't the number one, or that wasn't number, whatever. It's, they have not changed in the last five years for me. They have not changed, and I don't anticipate that they will at this point because I have gone through several. Iterations of what they are. And I believe I have the five that, that hold me in good stead no matter who I, where I am or who I'm with or what I'm doing. Those top five seem to guide me and have me show up as what I, who I believe I am. And so no, after, after you get them set, I don't believe they'll change much after that.

Jim: 10:27

Mm-hmm. And we talk about. Trusting your spiritual guidance. Yes. What, what exactly we're talking about here.

Pjae: 10:36

So that's that. Again, just like our, just like our finding our top five values, that's gonna take a little bit of work on your part only because you, you will need to experiment with it so that you know. How that spiritual voice, and I use, I'm doing quotations when I say voice because it may actually be a voice, it may be the, a picture of something. It may just be a, a a, some words that come to you. I don't know how that spiritual knowing,'cause that's what it is, it's going to show up for you. What I can tell you is, is that you can tell that spiritual voice how you want it to show up for you. For instance, I want to speak to my spiritual voice as if I'm speaking to my bestie. We argue, we talk crap to each other. We do a number of things, but in the end, I recognize that I'm hearing truth, and so I do what it tells me to do, but not before I argue with it and go, you think you know everything? And it says, yeah, I do. That's why you asked me. And so we have these conversations. Not everybody does that. Some people want a sign. They just want a sign, like, show me a, a bluebird flying by my whatever. Just show me a bluebird. And the Bluebird might show up in a coloring book. It might show up in a picture. Mm-hmm. It might show up anyway. It does. So that's gonna be up to you to decide and to tell the, the, that divine presence, how you want it to show up so that you know for sure that what you're hearing is truth for you and that's some work that you need to do.

Jim: 12:13

And so, we might conclude this episode with the first of some practical steps for decision making here. Okay. Step one, the outline here says is create a sacred space for reflection.

Pjae: 12:27

Yes. So back we've just talking about, you know, telling that spiritual side of yourself how you wanted to show up. Well, where do you speak to that spiritual side of yourself if you make it too big of a deal? Like I only wanna talk, I, I I, I talk to spirit when I'm at church on Sunday morning. Then that means you only get to speak to that voice once a week. Is that the only time you're gonna have some issues that you need to speak with that voice and know a truth? No. You're probably gonna need to know 24 7. So, saying that, you just wanna see that in. Church on Sunday morning if you, assuming you go and you don't have to go. I'm not, I'm not saying that you need to. I'm saying if you do. So for me it's every single morning before I put my foot on the ground, I reconnect with that spirit in me and just talk and just talk with it. So I recommend that whatever you choose to do, some people like to go out in the garden and just dig, just be in nature, whatever it is, outside on their porch. Whatever it is for you that makes you feel connected to something sacred, something that, something that loves and guides you and has all knowledge that you need and will tell it to you whenever you ask. You need to decide and, and what that's gonna sound like. And I say that you want to personally connect with that every single day because we have so much on our minds, we have to be reminded. Of who we are and what is available to us. And so every morning I remind myself of who I am and what's available.

Jim: 14:02

Mm-hmm. An another technique that's mentioned here along with meditation, which that's basically, that's basically what that was. Yes. Is journaling. Now I have to say upfront journaling is totally alien to me. I don't. It does not work for me. Every once in a while I think, oh, I'm supposed to be doing this. I should try it again. No, no. It's just not, but for many people,

Pjae: 14:28

it's for many people. And you know, I, I actually like my writer. I like writing. But I like story writing or writing about an experience I've had just to, to journal, which my understanding of journaling, but since I'm not a journaler is. Just to, I can't say for sure that's what it is, but I believe it's about free styling, just letting free flow your thoughts.

Jim: 14:50

Well, as I understand that, yes. What you understand, like, like the the name of the book's gone out of my head at the moment. Oh, yes. Artist Way. The Artist Way from Julia Can Your Morning Pages. I believe that's what that is intended to be. Exactly, but journaling could just as well be writing stories. Oh,

Pjae: 15:05

okay. Alright. So it, it totally could. Okay. So I just restricted myself to being, what was Julia Cameron, I think her name is. But yeah, it could be story could

Jim: 15:11

be, it could be, okay, I'm going to write a story about what happened to me at Walmart today, or whatever, you know?

Pjae: 15:20

Yes. Yeah. So I think you're, you're making a good point. Journaling is gonna be whatever works for you. There's no hard and fast rule, but the point of it is to get things out of your, just out of your, your, your head. Because our head just takes us down a road and if we just let that out, whatever's in our head, write it down so we can release it, then that makes space, I think for that, for us to hear that spiritual side of us. And pretty soon when you're writing something, something great shows up. Be beyond what you were thinking about writing. Right. And that's, that's what's supposed to happen. And I believe it, it has happened for me when I've tried to journal. It just isn't fun. So I don't, you know what I mean? It's not something I can continue to do. Absolutely. Yes. If it's not fun, don't do it. Yeah, exactly. Don't do it.

Jim: 16:00

But, but it certainly, it, when you're talking about in this context about making decisions, you certainly could, that would

Pjae: 16:08

be a, that's a great idea. Yes.

Jim: 16:11

Write down

Pjae: 16:13

your thoughts. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes. And, and,

Jim: 16:16

and what's preventing you from making that decision? That is a great, that

Pjae: 16:19

is a great idea. See, I'm

Jim: 16:20

convincing myself

Pjae: 16:23

now. I hadn't even thought about that, but that is a great idea because, you know, you wanna make a decision, you can start writing what are all the things that you're thinking about, right, in terms of this issue that you wanna make a decision about. So then you can see it on a, on a piece of paper it might be more clear. That's a great idea. Alright.

Jim: 16:39

Yeah. Well. So we will end this episode there and continue with the practical steps Yes, for decision making in the next episode. So thanks for being with us. Thank you so much, and we'll see you then.