Difference Between Aging and Growing

Transcript

Jim 0:00

Hello, and welcome to this episode of Decide on Joy, a podcast coming to you from Harmony Spiritual Center in Fort Worth, Texas. My name is Jim Kovalt.

Pjae 0:11

And my name is Reverend Dr. PJ Stanley. Thank you so much for being with us here today.

Jim 0:17

And our topic today is the difference between growing and just aging.

Pjae 0:23

Yes.

Jim 0:24

Um, which, uh, the, the seem... I usually ask, "What is that about?" But it seems pretty self-evident what that's about. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you have a choice. You know, you can You reach a, a certain age, maybe a little r- could also apply to younger people as well, um, that you're just- Kind of sitting around waiting-

Pjae 0:45

For something to happen or-

Jim 0:46

And focusing on your ailments and whatnot.

Pjae 0:49

Exactly correct. That is exactly correct.

Jim 0:51

Where And there are other, there are other options.

Pjae 0:53

There are definitely options, and I think that's what we're here to talk about today. Um, just what are the options? So what does it mean, um, to grow, and why would you want to? I think these are the, these are the salient questions to me.

Jim 1:06

Well, yeah, why would you want to?

Pjae 1:08

There's, there's a- Why would you want to? 'Cause there's some work to be done.

Jim 1:10

Yeah.

Pjae 1:10

You know? It doesn't just It's not automatic. Growth, you know, being, getting taller or getting Well, no, all of that takes something going on. But anyway, um, what we're talking about here is making a- deciding that you want to grow. And when we talk about growth, we're talking about, um, more understanding. Um, with, with more understanding of how the world works, how your world works, how spiritual world works, how many things work, is the difference between whether you can, whether you can move forward by choice or just moving forward because you're just stumbling along and it's whatever is happening. However the wind is blowing is where you're going. And so this is about making that choice, that you're saying where you're going to go as opposed to just the wind blowing, and you end up wherever it takes you.

Jim 1:56

Right.

Pjae 1:56

And some people like that. That's, so that's I'm not saying that's

Jim 2:00

not okay. Yeah. So I, I think, yeah, some people don't- Some people do like that want to do those other kinds of effort, and they were just like- Exactly "Okay, this is..."

Pjae 2:08

So, so the, the, the point is making a decision on either one. Making, deciding. Now this, that's our topic. That's what we do, decide on joy. So deciding on whether or not you are someone who's just, um, you know, just, uh, going and just aging and going where the wind blows, which that's your choice. Uh, so I think the point is, is about knowing that you're making a choice and not just stumbling along.

Jim 2:32

Right. And of course, when we're talking about older people here, and I, I, I don't want to indicate that this episode is useless for anyone under 60- Yeah. No but, um, certainly it, it can be that as you get older, you don't see any point to any of that.

Pjae 2:49

Yeah.

Jim 2:50

It's like, why would I learn a new language, for instance?

Pjae 2:53

Exactly. Exactly.

Jim 2:55

What am I gonna do with that? Um, what... Or a- anything.

Pjae 2:58

Right.

Jim 2:59

You know?

Pjae 2:59

Yeah. And I think, I think for me, um, part of my concern is, uh, and which is I'm sharing with, with the, with the audience today, is that the, I- The way that the mind works. I think the mind is an important instrument that we have, uh, a facility that we have, and it shrinks or grows based on learning some new things and deciding on that. So it's a- it's about if you decide to take a language, it's not necessarily because you wanna use it, although it's wonderful if you could, it's because it, it takes your mind into these different areas, and it continues to have your mind grow instead of shrink. So that allows you to be able to make different choices and make some different decisions in your life. So essentially, it puts your life in your hands as opposed to, you know, because you don't have the muscular, musculature, uh, say the right word, um, uh, to move around, the musculature in your mind to think and to be nimble, um, then you, then the choices are made for you. And so that's what the point to me is about. I think part of spirituality for me is that you are deciding on how you wanna live your life. For me, having a relationship with something greater than me takes a lot of fear out of my life so that I can move forward and try new things. 'Cause the first thing that happens, one of the first things that happens when you wanna try something new is, ugh, how I... The fear immediately- Oh, absolutely

Jim 4:26

steps right in. Yes, yes. And, and certainly a, a lot of people, I keep encountering them, just don't want anything new. No. No. Mm-mm, no. If it... Is it, is it music more recent than 1975? No. Not having it.

Pjae 4:41

Not doing it. Not doing it. And there's a fear, there's a fear factor. And so just recognizing, um, if you're not doing something because you're fearful, then it's actually not a choice you're making. It's, um, uh, you know, well, it's just fear, and you're just falling into it. So again- The, I think from the point of the podcast is the decisions that you get to make. So whatever life you're living is the life you're choosing, and not the life you're falling into because you're afraid. Um, because you don't wanna do something new that you don't... Well, and it's new, so how would you know how it's gonna work?

Jim 5:15

Well, yeah.

Pjae 5:16

And yeah. So that's the whole idea of, of being afraid of something new is a part of learning something new. That's the process of learning something new. But you have to trust yourself, trust your spiritual life, trust yourself, trust the decisions that you're making, that you are going to... You're smart enough, um, you're tenacious enough, you're patient enough, all the things enough, that you will see it through. And there are some things that I start and I see, and I say, "Okay, yeah, that's difficult, but okay, I'm gonna keep going, keep going, whatever I'm gonna do." And then I get through and I say, "You know what? I don't actually like it." Yes. I don't actually like it.

Jim 5:53

And that's okay.

Pjae 5:53

That's a choice. That's okay.

Jim 5:55

Yes.

Pjae 5:55

I'm not, not doing it because I'm afraid. I don't like this.

Jim 5:58

Yeah, and, and you wouldn't know that without- You

Pjae 6:00

didn't know having investigated it You won't know

Jim 6:01

it. Yes.

Pjae 6:02

You won't know it. Things look good from where you are, and then you get there and you're like, "Nope, not really. Not so... Yeah. It might be good, but not so much for me." Yes. And it's a, and that's, again, a decision- Yeah to let it go. So again, back to what we were talking about, deciding on our lives. I believe that's powerful when we know that we can decide on our lives. That's what this is about. Yeah.

Jim 6:23

Yeah. And that's true at any age. Um, I mean, we- we're talking in the context of, of aging here, but, um, you're always aging. We're, we're always aging- I mean,

Pjae 6:35

yeah whether you're one to two to three to four. Yeah, yeah. You're aging. Yeah.

Jim 6:38

That's,

Pjae 6:38

that's the life process. We are gonna be aging. Um, but we're not gonna- We don't necessarily have to age out of things. Right. We can just say, um, make a choice about it. Uh, l- try it. Uh, know that fear is a part of it. It's a part of everything that we do, uh, when it comes to something that is, that you're not familiar with. Uh, one of the things I love to do is to see something that's happening that I've not done before and ask the people who are doing it, "Why are you doing that? What do you like about it?" And just get some information. Mm-hmm,

Speaker 3 7:13

mm-hmm.

Pjae 7:13

Well, y- information is, uh, is another freeing thing as well. And they'll say, "Oh, you know, we like sitting around," and oh, okay, I'm out. No, no.

Speaker 3 7:24

Mm-hmm.

Pjae 7:24

I, I don't like sitting around.

Speaker 3 7:25

Mm-hmm.

Pjae 7:26

Um, but again, that's just knowing yourself. What do you like, what don't you like? And you get to ask questions. You can, you can look at something and see whether you think it might be for you. Try it. Talk to people who are doing it. See why they like it. There's so many options, rather than giving into fear.

Jim 7:43

Right. And then, uh, and it doesn't necessarily, when we're talking about new things, it doesn't have to necessarily be some huge thing like- It doesn't learning a new language or whatever. But I mean, you could decide to read a sort of book that you wouldn't normally read. That part,

Speaker 3 8:00

yes.

Jim 8:01

Or, or you could decide to read a book if you don't normally do that. Yes,

Speaker 3 8:04

yes.

Jim 8:05

And, and there are... I've just discovered recently, not because I was looking for them, but because they crossed my path on, on YouTube. There are people who will give you advice on what's a good starting point if you don't read- Oh, that's- and are interested in it

Pjae 8:20

I think

Jim 8:21

that's a great one. Um-

Pjae 8:21

That's good

Jim 8:22

they start with these books and, um-

Pjae 8:25

That's great

Jim 8:25

yeah.

Pjae 8:27

I remember, um, s- uh, and back to memory thing, 'cause you're talking about books, and c- getting involved in book clubs, and I've, I belong to a couple of them. Uh, because being involved in a book club, people will introduce you to things that you don't normally read.

Jim 8:41

Right.

Pjae 8:42

Uh, and sometimes you like it, and sometimes you don't. That's okay. That's okay. And I get into a book, I'm like, "Ugh." But I make myself keep going through it 'cause maybe the beginning isn't gonna catch me up. Whatever it is. But you're also learning about yourself. And what the point that I wanted to make about that was sometimes- There are things that I, that I, that I, that at one point I claimed I didn't like. But then it's introduced back to my life, I think, "I can try this again. I didn't like it then-"

Speaker 3 9:09

Mm-hmm

Pjae 9:10

"maybe I'll like it now." Yeah. And that has been true about books, um, and just different, uh, different, um, uh, things that you wanna do, going to classes, a number of things. J- but just because you once said no doesn't mean it's still no at a different age.

Jim 9:25

Right, or because someone told you you couldn't do it. Um-

Pjae 9:29

Could Oh, that's a good one.

Jim 9:30

Because-

Pjae 9:31

That's a good one

Jim 9:31

certainly happens.

Pjae 9:33

It happens more than you wanna know, that, uh, someone that you trust says, "Oh, that's not a good thing," but they didn't really explain why it wasn't. Yeah. But maybe it wasn't a good thing for them, doesn't mean it's not a good thing for you.

Jim 9:43

Right, right.

Pjae 9:44

So again, testing your own limits.

Jim 9:46

Or y- y- m- may be carrying something from when you were much younger- Absolutely something your parents said or something your friend said or whatever- Absolutely that says, "Oh, you can't do that."

Pjae 9:56

Yeah. Um- So those are things you get to challenge about your own thoughts.

Jim 10:00

Yeah.

Pjae 10:00

Why, why do I think that? I ask myself a lot. "What the Wait a minute. That's a statement you just made. Why do you think that?"

Jim 10:07

Yeah.

Pjae 10:08

Yeah, I don't really know why I think that. Yes. And sometimes you don't know why you think it.

Jim 10:12

Yes.

Pjae 10:12

You just

Jim 10:12

do. And, and those are usually the ones you say with the most confidence. I

Pjae 10:19

like that. Yes. Have you tried The I love when somebody asks me that. "Well, have you tried it?" Uh, what now?

Jim 10:25

No.

Pjae 10:27

Actually, I haven't. Well, then how do you know?

Jim 10:29

Well,

Pjae 10:30

yeah. That's a- Yeah that's a challenging question.

Jim 10:31

Yeah. Um, and you can, you know, you can- Just take what occurs to you, or you could, I assume, set definite goals for yourself. Say, "Okay- Yeah. You can- this year I'm doing this."

Pjae 10:47

Yes.

Jim 10:47

Yes. Until I discover that I really can't do that Or, uh, or don't like it or whatever. But- Exactly uh, and then you choose something else.

Pjae 10:56

But- I, I, I like that point, because that is something that, um, I think starting, I think it started in the middle of last year. I decided that I wanted to travel more. Not just for traveling's sake, but I just wanted to see some things and just go different places, and the first thing that came up was, "How are you gonna travel? You don't have the money." So this is a, not only a decision for me for in far, as far as growth and seeing the world, but it was also a spiritual decision. Because I feel like if you tell Spirit, uh, or whatever you call that which is greater than yourself, that you wanna do something, just put it out in the world, the how to, 'cause that, that stops a lot of people. "I can't do it 'cause I don't know how." But the how to actually comes to you if you make a definite decision about it. So it's surprising to me as I look back over my year how much I've actually traveled. Mm-hmm. And never thought I was going to, like, where the money was gonna come from. But now I, I don't have to think about it. I just go ahead and set the goal. And just-

Jim 11:47

Mm-hmm

Pjae 11:48

you know, uh, assume the money's gonna show up. And if it doesn't show up this month, okay, well, next month. I mean, what's the hurry? But set the goal.

Jim 11:56

Yeah. D- And that you said about not knowing how to do it, well, of course you don't, because you, y- you haven't- You haven't

Pjae 12:02

done it,

Jim 12:03

yeah Yes. Uh, but I encounter that fairly frequently, actually, is, you know, sometimes things like connected with technology or whatever, this-

Speaker 3 12:13

Yes

Jim 12:14

"I can't do that. I don't know how to do that." Well

Pjae 12:17

Well Yeah.

Jim 12:19

You might be able to find out, uh,

Pjae 12:22

you know. Exactly. And the power of our minds and our, uh, to, to set, to set where we're gonna go, when you s- if you say you can't, if you tell yourself you can't, then you don't look for opportunities to do it, and so then you actually can't. So think about that, um, what you're telling yourself. Think about that. You can change, you can change what you say to yourself and allow yourself to do more things.

Jim 12:42

Yeah, yeah. Um- And it's- Yeah it's the difference between, as you said, just, just drifting along and taking what comes- And making

Pjae 12:55

a

Jim 12:55

decision or making a decision and making a-

Pjae 12:58

Excellent

Jim 12:59

conscious participation-

Pjae 13:01

A con- in getting out there That's the word right there. Making a conscious decision to grow. Because the whole topic was, you know, growing versus aging, and we're going to age. If you live, you know, if you're still alive, um, you're going to age.

Jim 13:12

Yeah.

Pjae 13:12

But you don't necessarily have to grow. Growing is a decision.

Jim 13:15

Right. Yeah, you, you can sort of do the opposite. Yeah, for sure. Many people do. That's right. Yes.

Pjae 13:23

Yeah, for

Jim 13:23

sure. Yeah. Yeah, not just physically, but, but- Yes mentally. That's, that's We don't wanna end on that negative note. Uh-

Speaker 3 13:35

No.

Jim 13:35

Uh, you had an entertaining phrase you came up with at the beginning. I bet you don't remember it now, do you? What did

Speaker 3 13:41

I have?

Jim 13:41

You, you had a, a sort of phrase, an entertaining phrase related to this that you came up with at the beginning, and it's fled your mind now, hasn't it? No, yeah. Quick, uh- Yes, yes too

Speaker 3 13:51

many other things have, have come

Jim 13:52

to- I thought maybe you wrote it down, but maybe not Well, you're never gonna find out- I've never what that, what that brilliant thing was that PJ

Pjae 14:01

thought of It was, uh, but you know what? When it comes to me, maybe on the next podcast

Jim 14:06

I'll go, "You know what? Last week..." Okay. There you go. So you should join us next time to find out what that was. What that

Pjae 14:12

brilliant

Speaker 3 14:12

thing

Pjae 14:12

was.

Jim 14:13

Yes. Thank you for being here this time, and we'll see you next time around