Faith Through The Fire | with Abigail Peterson

This episode is a powerful testimony of resilience, faith, and unwavering trust in God. Sister Abigail Peterson shares her journey through seasons of deep loss and grief, and how she continues to choose praise in the middle of pain.

Through every trial, her life reflects the truth that God is near to the brokenhearted and faithful in every circumstance. If you need encouragement in a hard season, this episode will remind you that your story isn’t over—God is still working.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hello everyone. Welcome to the Honey and Grace podcast. I'm your host, Veronica Waldrup, and I pray that we can taste and see a little bit of God's goodness through today's episode together. Let's do it. Welcome back to the Honey and Grace podcast. I'm so glad that you are listening today, and I pray that today's episode will bless you in some way. I am so excited for today's episode because I do have a special guest with me. And I'm so excited to talk more with her today and for you guys to hear more about her. So thank you so much, Sister Peterson, for being on the podcast. Please, if you would, just take a second to introduce yourself and just tell the listeners whatever you want them to know about you.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Well, thank you for having me. I'm so grateful for every opportunity that I get to share my testimony and to share how God has been so gracious to me and so very merciful. You already shared that my name is Abigail Peterson and I'm from Las Vegas, Nevada. I have lived here the majority of my life, so it feels like home. Even though I was born in the far northwest, I do not remember much of it. So I only know of hot, hot summers, lots of sun and very little rain here in Las Vegas. I am a mother. I have three children, um, and I have two grandchildren. So I have a um a little boy and a little girl, grandbabies. And what they say about being a grandparent is all true. It's so much fun. And um, so I also I have been under the pastorship of my father for the majority of my life. There was just a small period of time where he was not pastoring, and then a brief amount of time that I went to Bible college. So that's a little bit about myself. Hobbies, I can't really say I have a ton of hobbies. I am an elementary school teacher by trade, so to speak. I'm an instructional coach now. So now I go into classrooms and I work with teachers and principals, administration, and sometimes I get to do a little bit of teaching. I make education materials on the side, so specifically for kindergarten. That is where my passion is, is um early childhood education, primary education. So that is where I spend the majority of my time.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

I love that. That's awesome. I know that you told me earlier you are from Las Vegas. So, where did you go to Bible college at?

SPEAKER_01 2:44

So I went to Christian Life College in Stockton, California. So that was way back in the 90s, back in the day, as they say. So I went there for um a short amount of time. I didn't stay there long, but I learned a lot about myself and I learned a lot about my own home church at that time. You know, when you're when you're from a small, more home mission style church and you go to a Bible college where there's hundreds of people and a very large home church, Christian Life Center has a you know hundreds of people, it's almost shell shock because you know, you come from a a church where after church you shake everybody's hand and you go home, you know. And when you move to a very large church, you your circle is still small, but there's all these other people. And so I learned through going to Bible college an appreciation for small home missions churches and what a difference I can make in a small home missions church. You know, you can make a difference and you can be a blessing in a large church, but it just renewed my love for small home missions churches. So I'm grateful for that experience.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

Yes, that's awesome. I love that. I'm actually a home missions PK, so I know all about that life. And I I've been living it since I was like 12. Before then, I I had been to a bigger church, but um my life drastically changed when my parents felt the call to plan a church. Um, but it's all for the good. Like you said, I genuinely do I appreciate my church and the love for a small church so much. I feel like you you don't really understand the love for until you like live in it, and it really is a blessing. So that's awesome. We definitely have that in common. That's so cool. So I did want to ask you, um, I listened to which I'm gonna go ahead and throw this out there. I listened to a podcast you did with Sister Jamie Herndon a couple weeks ago and unashamedly, you we love her. Um, and if you haven't listened to that, I definitely recommend to go listen. But I did hear a lot about your story, and I told you before we started recording that when I was listening to that, I was probably like a mess, but it was so encouraging. And I just want to give you the opportunity to share that story, share just a little bit. I mean, I don't mean a little bit, but however much you want to share with us of um your testimony with my listeners today. And I just I know that it's gonna encourage and bless someone, but I just want to let you kind of take the floor and go from there.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Well, I had the opportunity to be on several different podcasts now, and I sometimes I feel like, well, I say the same thing, but all we have is our testimony. That's it. And everybody has their own individual walk and you know has their own story. And I just through every trial and every tragedy that I have gone through, God has been there and walked with me. And if my story and my tragedies that I've been through, if it can be an encouragement to somebody else and if it can be a help to someone else, then it's worth me sharing the story. So again, thank you for the opportunity. We already talked about that. I was raised in a pastor's home like you were. And so we I've known ministry my whole life. I've been a part of that small home missions church, and you know, where you're cleaning the bathrooms and you're setting up for dinners and you're doing car washes and the whole shebang. You know, I've I've been through that as a young adult. Well, actually before that, as a child and then a teenager, and then eventually as a young adult. And um, I I got married young shortly after Bible college. I had known my husband for many years. We had been in the youth group together, went to church together. So we had known each other since we were preteens, essentially. And we got married. I was 18 and he was 19. We put a lot of our heart and soul into working in our small church and um, you know, starting out your life as young adults and you know, wanting what God has for us, you know, starting a family, etc. So our our first baby was born in um actually April of would be um 2000. So this year would be 26 years ago. And my pregnancy was normal. And, you know, when you if you're a young person, maybe you maybe someone's listening and is currently pregnant, or maybe it's a dream that you have, or maybe you're past that time in your life, but you can recall and you can look back at when those times that you were pregnant. You know, nobody thinks something's gonna happen when you're pregnant. You know, you just you anticipate everything going as it's supposed to go. You know, that you're you have an if you have a regular just pregnancy uneventful. You go and have your baby at the hospital and bring your baby home and it's you know, beautiful little take-home outfit, and you have all the strollers and all the gadgets, and you live happily ever after. And for some that's true, but for my husband and I it was not. And our first um baby was born, and I just remember it was an emergency C-section, and he was the baby was supposed to be a girl. We had a girl name picked out, we had girl clothes, we had the pink car seat, we had everything ready for a little girl. And I just remember when he was born that the doctor said it's a boy, and I was shocked. And I was like, a boy? I'm we're supposed to have a girl. And my mind immediately went to, I gotta tell my sister to go in the closet and get all the receipts. I for some reason I had reset, I had saved the receipts. So she's gotta go in and get those receipts and take these things back and get boy things. And the next thought I had was I didn't hear him cry, and it was dead silent in the delivery room, which is not normal. And I didn't really know what was going on, but since it was my first baby, is this normal? I don't know. I I it was all new to me. We'll come to find out just a few hours later, the doctors would start to filter in, and you know, they said, you know, we had to take the baby to the NICU, and we know that he has a lot of anomalies. There are a lot of different physical characteristics that we can see that are not normal, but we're not sure what it is, and that's devastating to hear. You know, I was 20, my husband was 21, and again, nobody expects at that age to go through something so tragic. The geneticist ended up coming in probably within the next 24 hours and officially diagnosed him with what's called an Edward syndrome or trisomy 18. And it's an extra chromosome on um number 18, and it's it has a high mortality rate. And he technically should have never made it to full term, like he was. Being full term, he was still four pounds, and that's again very tiny for a full-term baby. They said he would have never made it, you know, but God, but God, but God brought him, you know, through. And I to this day, I don't know. I don't know, you know, why that happens. I don't know why God chooses. I I don't I don't know. But the Bible does say that the rain falls on the just and the unjust. And some things, you know, we will just not know in this life. And so our first baby, we named him Marcus, and um, he lived for 45 hours. We had to remove him from life support. And during that short 45-hour time span, he had multiple blood transfusions. You know, he had he was on morphine, they were doing basic life saving efforts just to try to keep him alive till we could make a decision. And, you know, I remember leaving the hospital, and my brother and his wife had just also had a baby about 10 days before. And they they didn't know what to do because they they felt bad. And I just remember telling them, you know, don't feel bad. You know, God has his reasonings. I don't know what they are, but you know, God blessed you guys and he blessed us, but it it didn't turn out exactly how we thought. But I'm still gonna praise God. I'm still gonna still gonna live for God. Another year later, we did end up having another son, and my oldest, that would be my oldest living son right now, and he's getting ready to turn 25. He's married and has two little kids. And God, again, God is faithful, even in those dark times. And if you are listening to this and you are going through a dark time, and it doesn't have to be the death of a child, but it could be, you know, a time in your life that you are struggling with something, or you're making a decision and you feel helpless and you feel isolated. I'm here to share my story that even in those times of isolation, even in those times of darkness, you are not alone. God is there. And if you can hold fast to his hand, he will see you through. And I am evidence of that today. So a couple years later, you know, I could I could give you lots of details. And um, and in some podcasts, I've given some details and not in others. But a few years later, so it would have been 2005, so about five years later, my mom, who was definitely a pillar in my life. And if your mom is in your life today, be grateful. Give her a hug, send her a text, tell her you love her. Because there is nothing like a mother's love. Your mom loves you like no one else can love you, except for the Lord. But in this life, you know, your mom, your mom is moms are just special people. And my mom and I were close. And again, being in a small church, you do a lot of things together. What I, you know, if my parents were at the church, we were at the church. If my mom gave a Bible study, sometimes I would I would listen into the Bible studies and I would be there. So I was very close to my mom. And she'd been having some, you know, discomfort in her abdomen, and you know, she didn't really complain about it too much, but it kind of escalated a little bit, and we got close to between Thanksgiving and December, and she was started to miss some church, and I would ask my dad, where's mom? And he would say, Oh, she's not feeling good. She stayed home. And I would call her and she'd be like, Oh, I just don't feel very good, but you know, I'll be okay. Well, it ended up on December 24th. She was very sick, and we were supposed to go out of town, and I just said, Mom, I'm gonna come pick you up. I'm gonna come pick you up and take you to the hospital. I, you know, we need to see what it is because this has been going on for longer than 10 days, which 10 days is like my magic number of like anything past 10 days, okay, we need to get it checked out. So I took her into the emergency room and again, not expecting anything unusual, just, you know, at the worst, you're thinking, well, maybe it's her gallbladder or maybe it's a kidney stone. We spent the whole day going through tests, not me, but sitting there while my mom was going through tests. And I'll never forget after the ultrasound, they said, we're gonna need to do a CAT scan. And they kept asking her, you know, have you been out of the country? Have you been in any foreign countries? And she was said, no, I haven't. You know, are you sure? Well, of course. We we know we haven't been in any foreign countries. We would know. And so the man came to take her back to do the CAT scan, and him and I were having a conversation. And when he brought her back, it was probably about an hour later, he wouldn't make eye contact with me. And I knew something was wrong. I knew it was serious, I just didn't want to believe that it was going to be something life-threatening. But I kind of had that pit in my stomach and that feeling that just doesn't go away when you know you kind of feel the impending bad news. And then our doctor came in after a while and he said, Well, I've looked at all of your charts and you know, I have all your test results here, and it looks like you have liver cancer, and there's not anything we can do for it. It's a holiday weekend. I'm gonna ask that you see your primary. Well, that was like, talk about being blindsided. You know, nobody ever wants to hear the word cancer. You know, we call that the big C. Nobody wants to hear that. Nobody wants to hear their parent or their grandparent or their children, anyone close having cancer. It always happens to somebody else. Never happens to us, but it always happens to someone else. And so immediately I, you know, called my dad, and I called um my sister and my brother and our family, called my my grandmother, my mom's mom, called my dad's parents, called people in the church, started to let them know, you know, this devastating news that we got. And we ended up spending the weekend trying to just accept. I don't even know if accept is the word, but to try to understand, you know, this this diagnosis that we were just given. And my mom was such a prayer warrior, and God had done miraculous things. My sister, who's nine years older than me, in um 1973, she was diagnosed with um viral uh spinal meningitis. And at the time in the 70s, the doctors told my parents that she wouldn't make it. They said the menes in her brain have already started to deteriorate. And if she makes it through the night, she'll be a vegetable for life. And my parents just, my dad was praying up and down the hospital halls at the top of his lungs, and my mom was happening gown with gloves on and was talking to my sister, and she said that she she looked at my sister in the little bassinet, and my sister was two years old at the time, and she said that, you know, she thought, well, how am I gonna be able to go home and see all her toys and see, you know, I'll hear the little pitter patter of her feet. I I'll I won won't be able to make it. And she said, and she testified about this for many years, which is why I can I know it so well and I can repeat it. She said that the thought came to her, faith and doubt, they don't mix. And so she immediately said, Okay, Angie, when we get home, we're going to play with your toys and we're gonna, we're gonna have fun and we're gonna play hopscotch. And and immediately, immediately my sister laid her her muscles, went back into, you know, she had been retracted and like almost like a like an arch type position. She relaxed and she her eyes rolled back and she looked up at my mom and she started to smile. And that was a miracle, a miracle. Instantaneously, that was a miracle. And the doctors, they said, we this must have come from a higher power, we've never seen anything like this. And to this day, you know, God has been, again, merciful and good. My sister has had no issues, she was married and has children. And so my mom was a faith-believing woman. And to believe that something tragic like liver cancer to somebody who's never smoked or drank or lived a worldly lifestyle, how could this happen? But it did. But it did. And even in spite of that, my mom continued to believe that God is the healer of all diseases and that he can heal in spite of what the doctors say. And so we went from the end of December until the end of March. And we her and I walked every day. We talked, we had an opportunity to build our relationship even more and talk about the Lord. And I'll forever be grateful for those walks. I'll forever be grateful for those opportunities of things that she poured into me. Uh, you know, stories and uh, you know, biblical principles that she put into me during those walks. And I I've never forgot those, and I will be so grateful. And we prayed and we believed, but at the end of March, she started to get sicker. And on April 9th of 2004, she passed away. And uh your first thought is we believed. We believed that God would heal her. We believed, we had so much faith. And uh it's easy when things don't go our way to fall into, well, I believed, and so it didn't happen, so I'm just I'm gonna just give up. I'm just gonna not believe because it did go my way. But you have an opportunity you to change your thinking. And my thought was God did heal her, just not how we envisioned. We envisioned her to be healed in this life and to, you know, experience all of her grandchildren that she since has had in all these years, you know, to be here and to be a loving wife and pastor's wife. But God didn't, God didn't heal her in this life. She went on where there's no more pain and no more sorrow and no more, no, there's no death. And he gave her a new body and a new a new, you know, a life of living for him in his presence. And so, you know, as devastating as it was, it was of course devastating to our family. It was devastating to our church family and to my mom's extended family and friends. But God is still faithful, God is still faithful, and God gives us the peace that passes all understanding. And if you haven't been in that place where you've had to latch on to that peace, your time will come because no one in this life gets out of this life without pain and sorrow of some sort. And so again, hold to his unchanging hand because he is the only peace that we have in this world. Fast forward a few months, and you know, if you're kind of keeping track of my story, you know, we lost our first baby to Trisomy 18, and then we had a healthy baby. My mom passed away in 2004. And I found out just shortly after my mom passed away that I was pregnant with twins. And if we were so excited, we thought, you know, wow, I mean, we have had this tragedy in our life as a family, you know, with my mom passing, you know, God has given us, you know, a double blessing, not just one, but a double blessing. Uh I was about 14 weeks pregnant and my water broke, but it just broke on one baby. Now there's, you know, many years later, again, this was in 2004, but 22 years later, there's a lot of technology and there's a lot more information and knowledge out now. But at that time, you know, it was kind of hard to comprehend how you couldn't, you know, your water break on just one baby and not the other. You know, I went through a lot of tests, I went through, went to a lot of doctors, they didn't have answers. And so again, we just held on to that unseen hand and and trusted that God was gonna see us through. And every single time I went to the perineatologist, he would say, I I don't have answers for you. He said, Both babies are growing concordantly, they're they're almost identical in in size and weight. And I don't know what kind of church you go to, but I keep praying. That's what he would say. And we did, and we believed that God was gonna see us through every day. And if you've if anyone has experienced a premature baby or, you know, premature birth, then you know that every day that the baby stays in the womb or babies stay in the womb, that's that's what's for the best. Each day, each week is a better outcome. Well, I ended up getting a sepsis infection when I was 28 weeks. So if you're for following the story, week 14, my water broke. So I went for another 14 weeks and I got a sepsis infection, and it caused me to have to um have an emergency. Section and they were they and they were two little boys, fraternal boys, and they were uh born at 2 pounds 6 ounces and 2 pounds 7 ounces. And in my niacity, I thought, well, they'll just be in the NICU for a few weeks or a few months and we'll bring them home. You know, we have these two, we'll have three little boys now and we'll just live happily ever after. But at their three-day brain scan, they found out that one of our babies had a grade four brain bleed on the right side of his brain, and the other baby had bilateral, which means both sides. And grade four is a very severe brain bleed, and it's devastating. It's devastating to the brain tissue. And they can only tell us, well, this is what the books, this is what the textbooks tell us. You know, we had a meeting with all of the doctors, and they said, you know, we just feel like there's a large, you know, it's a high percentage that they'll never walk, they'll never talk, they'll never feed themselves, they will not function, you know, and have a healthy life with what we're reading on these scans. And so yet again, my husband and I had to make a decision to remove these babies from life support. I was 25 and my husband was 26. And when you think about, you know, my son is 25, just about to be 25 in a couple days. And when I think about my son having to make those decisions, it really rips your heart because no young person should ever have to make decisions about life and death at a young, at that young of an age. You know, you always think it's you're gonna see your grandparents pass away and later on your parents, but you never expect your own children to pass away. And um, so our our baby Landon, he passed away first. He was the baby with bilateral brain bleeds. And then the next day, our our other baby, baby Carson, he passed away. We we removed him from life support, and and it's devastating. It's devastating. And if you're listening, you may think, I can't believe this, I would never be able to get through this. And I thought that too. How can this be happening? As we were leaving the hospital, we were walking out to our car, and our perineatologist was driving through the parking lot, and he stopped and he rolled his window down and he said, I'm so very sorry. He said, All I can tell you is that two, I'm sorry, he said, I'm all I can tell you is that three very bad things has happened to two very good people. And he meant the death of our first son and then the death of the twins. And I remember going back to church, you know, the following service, and again, you know, no babies, not going back to the hospital, you know, having the effects of being pregnant, but not having a baby, not having a baby or babies. And I remember walking into this to church, and I just remember thinking, you know, the the rain falls on the just and the unjust, and God's ways are far above our ways, his thoughts are far above our thoughts. And I just still raised my hands, and you know, there's my favorite scripture, and this is a scripture that I've kept to my heart, close to my heart all these years, is Psalms 34 and 1. And it says, I will bless the Lord at all times, and his praise shall continually be in my mouth. It doesn't say in the scripture, if things are going perfect, it doesn't say I will bless him when I have everything that I want. It doesn't say when everything I've prayed for has come to fruition, I then will bless the Lord at all, you know, when that happens. It doesn't say that. It literally says, I will bless the Lord at all times. And in times of death and in times of tragedy and in times of sorrow, I will still bless the Lord. And if you hear the crack in my voice, it's because that's very hard to do. It's easy to read in the scripture and read it and say, Yeah, I believe that. But it's another thing to actually do it. And all I can share from what has happened to me in my life is that in times of tragedy, in times of sadness, in times where I have felt like I could not go on, God has been there. And he's whispered in a still small voice, I will carry you. I will be that strength that you need. So the next year I did get have another baby. And if I can just stop here and share that there was nothing that I was doing, or it wasn't, it wasn't my body, it wasn't all of these they actually considered what they call flukes of nature. I nobody wants to hear that. How can three flukes, a fluke is supposed to be something random that comes once in a lifetime and you never see it again? How did three flukes happen to us? I don't, I don't know. I don't know. But, you know, my doctor said this was just three flukes, bad things that happened to two very good people. And, you know, we think that you should have another baby, and so we did, and our daughter was born. And so, you know, what a blessing, you know, she has been in our life. And she just turned 19, and then we had another son two years later. So at that point, our family was complete. We had, you know, three three children who are more happy and healthy. And so, as all families, you continue living life and going to school and growing and working in the church, doing all the things that normal families do. And in being in a normal family, that means everything is not perfect. You have times of financial gain, and you have times where things are not, you know, as financially sound, and you have times where you get along with people, and maybe sometimes your relationships change, and and maybe you know, you have different seasons in your life. And I fast forward to 2024. So it's been 15 months, and my husband and I had just celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary, and our kids were um 23, 17, and 15. And everything, you know, is is as just as your life is, just as your life. You you go to church, you come home, you go to work, you come home, you go to youth, you come home, you know, fellowship with friends, you maybe do outreach, maybe you have Bible studies. You're just living life. You're just living life. And on December 28th of 2024, my husband was tragically killed. And it was never something that I ever imagined, it was not even in my wheelhouse. I never ever thought I would be a widow at 44 years old. I never thought that the person that I chose to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I never imagined, you know, I always imagined that I would be, I would grow old with him, and he would grow old with me, and we would raise our kids to adulthood, and we would see our grandkids, you know, we would experience all of that together. We had, you know, we had plans for the future. We had plans for traveling. We had plans of adventuring together. We had plans, you know, um, we we ministered in our our local church, and we had taken on in the last two years of my husband's life, we had taken on a more significant role, had taken on Bible study trainings and doing lots of outreach and really having an even more integral part of our church than we had had when our kids were younger. And suddenly on that night, it all came to a screeching halt. And I don't know why, I can't tell you. I I don't understand. You know, 15 months later, I I sometimes look at my life and I think, how is this possible? How how can so many bad things happen to one person? And my mind goes to Psalms 34 and 1. I will bless the Lord at all times and his praise shall continually be in my mouth. I cannot get past that scripture. And the service after my husband passed away, I walked into church. And again, being in a small home missions church, everybody plays a role. Everybody has a part in a small home missions church. And my husband, he led the songs, he led the service, he helped with all of the all of the music in terms of you know the microphones and all of the sound equipment. He did the Venetian plaster in our church. His handprint is everywhere. When you walk into our church, I can tell you he helped build the platform, he did the Venetian plaster behind the platform or behind the pulpit in the platform, he changed out all the lights, he painted the fellowship hall, he did the con stain concrete, his handprint is everywhere. And when I walked into service after he was gone, I had a choice that I could be bitter or I could choose to be better. And life doesn't always give us what we want, life doesn't always serve us up the fairy tale that we think we deserve. And I had lived a privileged, and I call it a pretty princess little life because I was very blessed to have parents who were good parents and good brother and sister and a good church family, and then a wonderful husband and a good and you know, children that the Lord eventually blessed us with to walk into that church without my husband and to see somebody else take his place to lead songs. And I also say in this particular when I think about this, you know, if you think, well, the church could never live without me, I am so important. To some degree, we all have play important roles in our church. If you play the piano or if you are the sound person or you clean the bathrooms, we all have a significant role in our church. But the reality is, is that when someone passes, the next person steps up to the plate. And I always say that God can do without my service, God can do without my singing, God can do without my Sunday school teaching, God can do without what you know what I have to offer. But I can't do it without him. I can't live without him. And so I walked into that service and I had the opportunity to choose bitterness or to choose betterness. And I raised my hands, and in going through trials and tragedies and something so devastating, trying to lift your arms in that service was like there were a hundred-pound weights on my arms. It was heavy, it felt like why? How? But I've served you, but I'm I've been a good servant, I've tried to live my life pleasing, but my mind goes back to Job. And Job was a good man. And you know, Job lost his family, he lost all of his animals, he lost all his children, he lost everything, and then he was struck with boils from the top of his head to the sole of his feet, and his friends turned on him, and then his wife said, Job, curse God and die. And Job said, You speak like a foolish woman. And I have not been struck by boils, I have not lost all my children, I have not lost all of my earthly possessions. And if Job can still give God glory, then I can still give God glory. Even in my sadness, even in my tragedy, even in my sorrow, he's still worthy to be praised. And I, over the last 15 months, it hasn't been easy. It hasn't been easy. It's I never expected to be a widow. I never expected to be a single parent. I never expected to have grandkids by myself, you know, but there's a song that says, but when I think of all these things, all of my good days outweigh my bad days, and I won't complain. And I think about that, and it's easy to complain, and it's easy to say, God, why? I don't understand. But his ways are far above our ways, his thoughts are far above our thoughts, and I may never know in this life. And all I have is my testimony, Sister Veronica. That's all I have. That's all I have. And if I have nothing more in this life but the testimony and the and the fact that God has kept me in every season of my life, then I will share my testimony. If that's all I have, then I am willing to share in whatever capacity, you know, every single time someone's reached out, every time that there's somebody who's going through a trial, and I say, Let me share. Let me tell you that God saw me through. And if He saw me through in my deepest, darkest time, He can see you through. And sometimes that doesn't look like an answered prayer like that. Sometimes that doesn't, but for me, it's meant that when I've closed my eyes and I've called on the name of Jesus and said, I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. Somebody would text me, somebody would message me, somebody would call me. Literally this morning, I was in my bedroom, I was putting some clothes away, and the sadness is there. The sadness is there. Just because I have the Holy Ghost, and just because I believe, I believe the salvation apostolic Acts 238 message doesn't take away the pain, does it take away my sadness? And I was putting away my clothes and I was sad, and I I actually was crying. I was crying, and somebody from my church called on my phone at that particular moment. And this is a sister that doesn't call. She texts, and um, and I answered the phone and I had that cry voice, you know, hello. And she said, Are are you okay? And I said, No. And I started crying, and she said, you know, she said, the Lord impressed me to text, you know, to reach out to you and I was gonna text you, and he impressed me upon me, you know, no, call her. And, you know, she said, I'm so glad, you know, I I listened. And I was forever gr forever grateful that she listened too, because in that particular moment, in my desperation and in my sadness, in my room, not at church, not in a prayer meeting, not um in the middle of a revival service, but in my bedroom when I'm in in a moment of desperation, God sent somebody by way of a phone call and she encouraged me, and she that little bit of encouragement strengthened me. And I can share that over the last 15 months, God has showed up time and time and time again. Has he answered prayers? Yes, he's been a miraculous God. There has was a miracle in my life that was done that only God could have done. Only God could have done. But he's also sent people. He's also, um, I've also heard preaching, good preaching. I've had preachers come up and lay hands on me and remind me that I am his child and that he said he'd never leave us nor forsake us. And that even in times of trouble, he's still there. He is still there, he has not forgotten me, he has not left me. And I just want to be an encouragement to anyone who is listening today that whatever trial you're going through, whatever situation it's going through, it may not be the death of a loved one, it may not be the death of a child, you may not be a widower or a widower, but I can promise you that if God has kept me and God has given me peace and God has given me strength to raise my hands and bless him at all times and with praise continually in me in my mouth. If he can do that for me, he can do that for you.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

Amen. That's so true. Everything you've said has been just it's so powerful. Like I know that you probably hear that. I know that probably probably tell you that you have a powerful testimony, but you really do. And I know that, like you said, you mentioned earlier, sometimes we just don't know why things happen, and sometimes we'll just never know. We'll never know why God allows things to happen to us, even apostolic, Holy Ghost-filled people. I mean, you mentioned um having a princess life growing up, and I always say that sometimes I say that, you know, I'm so blessed and so fortunate that my parents believe this truth and that they are, you know, in the ministry, and I get to grow up like this. I'm so blessed. It really is a blessing, and I thank God for it, but it puts things into perspective. I'll just be honest, I can be sometimes I find myself thinking, you know, that's not gonna happen to me. But why? Why? Like you said, it rains on the just and the unjust, so it puts things into perspective for us. God, he gives and he takes away. But just as you've said through this whole thing, he's never left you, he's always been with you. Even in an isolated moment in your own room with your own thoughts and feelings, he showed up and he's never left you. And so that just it encourages me because here I am. I'm just a 19-year-old girl, and I'm just living my life, and and I haven't had the most horrible things happen to me. I'm just gonna be honest, and I'm grateful, I'm blessed. But hearing your story reminds me that I I can't let the smallest things, the the little things, the you know, hard times to get in the way of my praise for God or my faithfulness to Him. Put so He you're like it's like every time that you stay faithful, every time you go back to church and you keep serving, you're just investing. It's like you're putting deposits in the bank for when you're gonna need them one day. And when when one day hard times do come, and you do need that strength and that that deposit that you put in one time. Um so thank you so much for for sharing that because I know that it's probably not easy to share your testimony all the time, and I'm sure that you do get weakened by telling it sometimes, but I know that it's blessed people. I really, really do. It's blessed me today. For anyone that might be listening today, whether they're listening in their car, they're at the gym, or they're cleaning their room, if someone is going through a trial, it might not be like you said, losing someone or whatever their trial might be. What would you say if you could just encourage them? I know there's so many things that you could say, but how would you just encourage them today to keep going and to stay faithful?

SPEAKER_01 40:44

There are two things that I feel are so important. And I would I tell this to my own kids, I tell this to you know the ladies in our church. I share this as often as I can because I I do believe that this is one of those foundational keys. And one is the Bible says to not forsake the assembling of yourselves. And I know that's a shortened version of the scripture, but that means you have to be in church. And the Bible also, there's a scripture that says, faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God. And how can you be saved without a preacher? Right. We often think, and in those times of sadness and in those times of, well, things aren't working out for my life, things are, you know, and it could be something, you know, it could be, oh, well, this, you know, for your age group, it a lot of times is, well, I didn't get into this school, or I didn't, you know, get an A on my exam, or I this guy didn't text me back. You know, it can be what to grown adults seems like, oh, well, that's kind of silly, but it is real in your life at your age. But it's easy at those times to say, I'm not gonna go to church, I'm sad, I'm I'm down, I'm just gonna pray at home, I'm just gonna worship at home. But there is something that happens when you are in the presence of God in your church. There is something that happens. The Bible says where two or three are gathered, there he would be in the midst. I'm not taking away from the fact that you can get a blessing in your car. I'm not taking away from a fact that you can have a great prayer meeting in your in your closet or you can worship when you're driving down the road. I'm not taking that away from anything. But what I'm saying is God has kept me and I have been able to stand strong because every time I return to church and my faith was built by hearing the word of God. If you think about it, those times that you choose not to go to church, not because you're sick, but because you're you're you're tired, or because you don't, oh well, I'm I'm sad, or I've had a bad day, or I've had something bad happen in my life. Then it it's almost like the enemy starts putting little thoughts in your mind. Oh, well, everybody's gonna wonder where you're at. Oh, everybody's gonna be talking about you, all these little things. And then it's easy to say, well, I'm not gonna go to the next service. I'm not, you know, you know, it it just plants little seeds of doubt. So if you want to plant seeds of faith, you have to be in church. You have to have a pastor in your life. You have to hear the word of God. You have to. That is one of the things that to me is one of the foundational components of keeping your faith. The other key, and there are probably many, and everybody probably has their own personal opinion, but I'm speaking for myself. The second key is your circle matters. Who you surround yourself with matters. There was a man in the Bible who was sick and was on a bed and could not get to Jesus. He could not physically on his own get to Jesus. But his friends, the Bible says his friends took him and opened the roof and let him down through the roof. If it wasn't for his friends, he would not have been able to be at the feet of Jesus. And I I can honestly say that through all of my struggles, through all of my tragedies, through every horrible, horrendous situation, my friends have mattered because they are people that are sold out. They are people who immediately, when they heard my situation, called on the name of Jesus. They immediately started praying and fasting with me. They immediately would text me and say, Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you this morning and this song came to my mind. Your circle matters. Your circle matters. That doesn't mean I work a regular job. I'm out in the out in the world. I have 72 elementary schools that I support. I see different principals, assistant principals, teachers, kids, every single day. I am with a different group of people. So I'm around a lot of people, but they're not my circle. They're not my circle of people. They are people I associate with. I even have friendly conversations with some. I've even been to lunch with some of them. But the people who are in my circle are the people who, when I am saddened like this morning, that get a nudging in their heart and call on the name of Jesus and then call me on the phone and say, I just felt led to call you and tell you that God is gonna help. God is gonna see you through. Your circle matters. Be in church. Don't miss church. Be faithful to the house of God, even when you don't feel like it, even when things are sad, even when things are not going your way. And your circle matters. Choose your friends wisely. Choose the people that are around you, that are closest to you, the ones that will let you down through the roof to see Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 45:44

Amen. Yes, I truly believe that. I believe that God will place the right people in your life. I'm just, I mean, I'm a witness of that myself. I went, I went to public school like my whole life, and I sincerely prayed for godly friends that that would sharpen me. Like the Bible says, iron sharpens iron. And I prayed for that like for a while. I mean, there was times that I was very lonely. I didn't really have friends, but God sent me the people that I needed, and like you said, people that will pray for you and not just say, you know, on a Facebook post, I'm praying for you, but people that will actually get on their knees and pray for you. And you see that fruit in them as well. And they will be there for you in some of the hardest times. And I truly believe that. I believe every word that you've spoken to us. So thank you so much for everything you've shared with us. And there's one thing that I always ask every person that comes on the podcast, and I'd like to ask you this. I know you've given us so much already, but it's what's a general piece of advice you would leave with a young person listening today. And this could be anything. One of the things that I really like to put it in perspective is if you could, if there was something that you needed to be told when you were younger, what would it be and how would you relay it to someone that's listening today?

SPEAKER_01 47:07

That the man of God in your life or your pastor wants to see you saved and is rooting for you. And if you have godly parents in your life, they want nothing more than to see you saved. More than wealth in this world, more than success of a career, more than success of social media fame or whatever you wanna, whatever you, whatever your heart's desire is, your parents, if they live for God and your pastor, want to see you successful in living for God. And don't lose that connection. It's easy as teenagers to get irritated at your parents and to think, well, they just wanna ruin my fun. They don't, they don't understand me. They they are from the old days, they don't know what it's like nowadays. We only want what's best for you, and we see things that you don't see. And I say to my own kids, I have been where you're at. You haven't been where I'm at, but I've been where you're at. So while I may not know what it's like in 2026, I I was a teenager once and I remember those feelings. And as your parent now, somebody who lives for God and is rooting for you and wants the best for you, I just want to see you saved. I just want to see you have a relationship with Christ. I just want to see you successful in living for God. Your pastor, your parents, if they're godly, god-fearing parents, don't dismiss them. Listen to them, listen, heed their advice. That would be my my my advice.

SPEAKER_00 48:42

Amen. That's so good. I know that every young person needs to hear that. And even like years ago and now, we all need to hear that. I know that I've definitely realized the blessing of godly parents and and even order and direction and discipline, all of that. I feel like once you get a little bit older, like I'm only 19, but I look back when I used to get upset when when they wouldn't let me do things, and now I know that it's all love, and where there is law, there is love. So God gives you that, and it's such a blessing. And so for having me.

SPEAKER_01 49:19

Thank you for having me. And again, I'm just grateful for every opportunity, even though it's heart-wrenching, and even though, like you said, it feels brings up all those feelings again. If somebody can be moved and somebody can be encouraged by my testimony, then to God be the glory.

SPEAKER_00 49:38

Yes, absolutely. I know that you blessed me today. I know that you've blessed multiple people with your story. And although it is a heavy episode, it's a heavy podcast, I believe that we can take this and we can learn from it and we can and put into perspective in our day to love people and call your mom, call your grandparents, whoever it is, call them today, talk to them, um, and enjoy the blessings in life that we do have because God is so good and he's so faithful. And if you are going through a storm or a trial right now, just know that he is still God and he is with you. And um, I know it's easier said than done. I know that, but he is faithful and he is still worthy of our praise, just as you've told us. It's been so great. Thank you so much again.

SPEAKER_01 50:27

No, I again I'm just grateful if there is anybody listening that is a widow or widower or knows of a widow or widower. I do have a podcast that I started after I became a widow. It's called The Business of Widows. And it is an opportunity for me to connect and share other widow and widower stories. And that came about again after my husband passed away and just realizing that, you know, we have camps and we have conventions for young people and uh marriage retreats, but there's not a lot for the widows and the widowers. And so this was an opportunity again for me to to kind of my place in life for God to work through me. Whatever, whatever I can be, you know, if you can use anything, Lord, you can use me. So if you are a widower or a widower or you know of one, I do have a podcast. It's available on all streaming platforms, the business of widows. And again, thank you for having me. And I will bless the Lord at all times, and his praise shall continually be in my mouth.