The VetsConnection Podcast
Join host Scott McLean, a veteran and also a passionate advocate for veterans' well-being. Each week Scott will bring you an episode that will feature insightful conversations with representatives from non-profit organizations dedicated to supporting veterans, as well as experts discussing programs within the Veterans Affairs (V.A.) aimed at assisting veterans with their needs. From discussing innovative therapies to highlighting community resources, this podcast sheds light on the myriad of ways veterans can find support and healing thru nonprofit organizations and also to connect nonprofits with each other in hopes of creating a network that will be beneficial to all.
The VetsConnection Podcast
Ep. 63 - Marine Combat Veteran, John Schrey. From Combat To The Streets To Recovery
We trace John’s path from Marine combat engineer to addiction, homelessness, and back to purposeful service, detailing how brotherhood, hard choices, and real treatment rebuilt his life. We also break down gaps in VA community care and how Haven for Heroes moves fast in crises.
• choosing the Marine Corps and combat engineer path
• deployments to Helmand and the bond of brotherhood
• surviving IED blasts and lingering concussion effects
• non‑deployable status and the slide into alcohol and opiates
• marriage strain, exposure, and leaving home
• homelessness, overdoses, and street survival logistics
• first attempt at recovery in Austin, relapse, then lasting sobriety
• rebuilding fatherhood and co‑parenting with honesty
• what makes therapy work for veterans and what doesn’t
• founding purpose at Haven for Heroes and program design
• VA community care gaps and emergent triage solutions
• practical tools: PHP, TMS, and esketamine for depression
• returning to Boca, family restored, service renewed
If you want to check us out, it's one man one mic foundation.org
Haven Health Management: HavenHealthMGMT.org
Contact John: 512-620-4038
Like, Subscribe and Share. If you have comments or suggestions email us at: vetsconnectionpodcast@gmail.com. You can also find the video of this podcast on our YouTube Channel - Vetsconnection Podcast
Welcome to the podcast. I'm Scott McLean. My guest today is John Shrey. John is the director, the national director of the veteran. Well, you know what? I'm going to let John do this. I should know better by now. I should know better than not to give somebody, you know, read somebody's title. So I'm I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to insult my friend here. So, John Shrey, what do you do? Tell us what you do.
John Schrey:So I guess the technical term is National Director of Military Affairs for Haven for Heroes and Haven Health Management.
Scott McLean:There you go. That's a see, I would have totally demolished that. No doubt about it. I would have demolished that. Bad interviewer. So you're a veteran? I am. Okay, before we get into that, where are you from?
John Schrey:So I'm from Boca, where we are now. Uh, born and raised down here in South Florida, not too far from where we are. Um, and you know, I moved away for quite some time, but I'm, you know, back here in my in my home.
Scott McLean:There you go. Right down the street from the One Man One Mike Foundation studio, One Man One Mike Foundation, where we teach veterans how to podcast, and we teach them the healing power of storytelling. If you want to check us out, it's one man one mic foundation.org. And my friend John is uh he's he's near and dear to this foundation. So uh maybe we'll get to that later, but this is not about me. This is all about my friend Hiss.
John Schrey:But you got a sweet it sweet setup now. This looks great.
Scott McLean:Yeah.
John Schrey:I mean, really, really, really come together.
Scott McLean:It took a while, as you know. I I I kept saying, no, we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this. And you were like, when are we doing this? So all right. So when did you you went in the Marines? I did. Why the Marines?
John Schrey:Um, again, in my mind, I I never was gonna join the military. You know, I used to hang up on the recruiter when he called me. I I was like their perfect, uh, I guess their perfect um what would you call it?
Scott McLean:Like the test, acid test.
John Schrey:Like well, I was a perfect mark, right? Like, you know, like I I was I was athletic, I you know, I played a lot of sports, I did very well in school, but I was a bad I I always get in trouble. You know, I had bad, you know, conduct grades. So I think that's like that checked every box for like the Marine Corps. So but I used to hang up on them, you know, and I had no intention of joining the military. Um I joined at 25 years old, so that'll tell you. Um the Marines, because you know, I had always been told, you know, I am a type of guy who if I'm gonna do it, I just I'm just gonna jump all the way in and go go go at it, you know, um as hard as I can. And my cousin had, you know, gone through boot camp and some things happened, but um I just always had a real I just love the Marines, you know. If I and again it never crossed my mind to join, but if it was gonna join, it was gonna be the Marines.
Scott McLean:Okay, what year did you go in? 2006. 2006, okay. Yeah. All right. So that was right in the heat of it all.
John Schrey:Yeah, it's the only reason I got in. They were they were trying they were doing that bump. I think we had 180 uh thousand Marines, they were trying to get it up over 200. Um, so I had a bunch of waivers because like I said, I I I you know had a somewhat checkered pass at that point. Um, and so I had like seven waivers that they uh they had to, you know, okay before I even got in. Because the two wars were going on.
Scott McLean:Do you ever look back now and go, Jesus? Yeah. How did they let me in? Yeah. Oh yeah. Uh-huh. So you go in, you go through basic training. Where did now this is an important question for Marines? Where did you go to basic training?
John Schrey:I went to the Paris Island, the boot camp, you know. For sure.
Scott McLean:I had no idea there was anything other than Paris Island when I was, you know, but when it came to Marines and all that. And I I was an Air Force guy, so there's only one place for us. But I learned over the years that there is a rivalry between where you went to basic training.
John Schrey:Definitely.
Scott McLean:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you went to basic training. What was your uh what was your job?
John Schrey:Uh 1371, combat engineer. Kind of got kind of uh tricked into that too. I uh my recruiter said you wanted I was gonna be a helicopter crew chief. That's what my cousin had told me to do. And he said you'll get a good job after. Um then the recruiter told me you want to uh you'll get to blow shit up and uh you'll be like you'll see some action on the front lines, but you won't be on the front lines. I said, that sounds pretty cool to me. So I signed up for it, and you know, two years later, my first deployment, I was the guy sweeping for the infantry guys. So not only was I on the front lines, I was in front of the infantry. So I remember like literally a real thought when I was sweeping one day of like this motherfucker, bro. Like if I ever see him again, gotcha. Got him. Yep.
Scott McLean:Uh so I guess the the natural next question is uh what was it like? Just your perspective, your experiences.
John Schrey:Like the Marine Corps and going over there. I mean, well, going overseas was uh I mean it was just a very surreal experience, you know. Um I first of all, I when I when I did get to the Marine Corps, I didn't buy in full fully, you know. I got I I even got in trouble right after uh boot camp. You know, I wasn't really buying into the whole um Marine Corps, you know, honor, courage, commitment thing. Again, I had not been doing the right thing for a couple years in my per in my in my life. So um it got to when I finally got to my duty station, which is in 29 Palms, California, and I I had I had a group of guys with me, and I remember it it was just a a a switch that got flipped in 2007. So I'd been in about a year where like I just I made a commitment to like like I bought in because of the guys I was with, and like we started to form this brotherhood, and I started to really buy into what it was like to be you know, to be a Marine or you know, to be you know, fighting for my country, whatever, all those different things, you know, that I really just never really could connect with before. I was just trying not to get in trouble. And um, so I went overseas in 2008, and uh I mean it I it's something I miss more than anything in in in the world, right? Like that brotherhood, that like life or death, you know, that like bunker mentality with your guys. Um it was uh it was great, you know. Now not to say that I loved getting shot at or I loved watching, you know, people die or get their, you know, a lot of my my roommate lost his leg, you know, my one of my best friends, KIA, you know, whatever. So that that that sucks. There's no way around it. Um but the whole experience was very surreal. Getting shot at surreal. Um shooting at people is surreal. It's really just a it's the job, you know, and it's just when in Rome, you know, act like you know, you just do what you're supposed to do.
Scott McLean:So did uh that's an odd question how much uh did street smarts because you were evidently a pretty street smart kid going into this whole troublemakers are right in trouble, usually have that that side to them. How much of that kind of took over at certain points? I know you have your training and all that, but how much of that that that mindset uh played into any of it, if any?
John Schrey:Um I I don't know if it was the streets, I don't know what you would call it, but like my instincts are always like go, go, go. Uh I've always been the one to go first, right? Like, you know, if if if we were stealing beer, right? It just comes to mind, right, with my uh as a young kid, like I'm the one who's gonna steal the beer. You know what I mean? Like I just I'm that that's kind of been my mentality. Um, and I think that was you know perfect for the Marine Corps. I think that a lot of the guys like that joined the Marine Corps, and and and there were some guys that were far ball ballsier than me, though. I'm not to say that I was like number one out the door, you know. But uh I think I think Street Smarts, uh as in like thinking on your feet, you know, um quick reacting to things, you know, having been through some life experiences, um, definitely helped harden me and kind of um it wasn't too much of a shock when shit got chaotic, you know.
Scott McLean:Yeah, it hardened you, but nothing can prepare you. No. It's natural instincts kick in, it's your environment that you grew up in, it's the how you lived until you got to that point. Uh I'm sure you saw uh men and women from the other side of that that might not have been able to handle it in any situation, or you saw them handle it. It's all, I guess, relevant in where you're from. Yeah, how you and how you do how you lived your life before you got there. Definitely. But it's nothing prepares you, I'm sure uh I'm sure. So you go over how long were you over there for?
John Schrey:Uh eight months in 2008 and seven months in 2010. Both the same place? Uh pretty pretty close to the same place. Hellman province. Um, first deployment was in a town called Nowzad. Second deployment spent a lot of time in a town called Sangin. I mean, you know, Deerfield to Delray kind of separation, but you know, it could take days to get from point A to point B over there because you're clearing routes, you know.
Scott McLean:Right, right. Um I mean, if you ask me, I could I don't like Yeah, what's the No I'm not gonna ask you. I think I think it's uh that's not relevant really. Yeah. Um So you're there, two deployments.
unknown:Yeah.
John Schrey:I'll tell you what, you're asking, right? So I will say when like something that's really interesting, like the the surrealness of it, right? Like when you get blown up, right? Yeah, um, nobody in my vehicle got hurt or got killed or or you know, lost legs or anything. But it the it it's it's like the minute that the IED goes off, everything turns gray from like all the uh soot and everything going up into the vehicle. And it's it's amazing how fast you turn to just um your training kicks in, or you know, you're just your the fundamentals kick in and you're grabbing the radio and you're checking everyone's alright and you're yelling green, green, green, and uh it just happens so fast, but it's it and and you got a bad concussion, but you don't feel anything, and it just it's almost like you're not even it's you're outside of your body kind of experience, you know, not like in a spiritual way, but in a you're just reacting, but you're not even thinking.
Scott McLean:So from that, the concussion, uh were there any uh after effects, side effects?
John Schrey:Yeah, I mean uh in the in in the my first concussion, the first of the two blasts was really um was rough. Uh when we got back to the fob, uh, you know, we had to we were we were like like headaches, you know, we had to stay in this dark room for a couple days, you know, nausea, things like that. It was a pretty good boom. Um second one not quite as bad, but because it was my second one in a you know month or whatever, that's when I had to be Medevact and I was non-deployable.
Scott McLean:So you end up with the non-deployable status. Yes. So where does that take you?
John Schrey:So that takes me to Paris Island. Um in fact, I don't think I would have even re-enlisted. So that was my f end of my first four years. Um when I when I got the non-deployable status, it was like I had extended to go to Afghanistan the second time with my guys. That was kind of non-negotiable. I uh there was no way I wasn't going. Um but it left me no time to formulate a plan for getting out, you know. So I was newly married, newly married, and um we decided like let's do another four years. We decided that before I deployed. So I'd already signed up, re-enlisted, and now they're like you're non-deployable. So the best, you know, we could do is get as close to South Florida as home as what we thought. Um, and where it was somewhere that was still kind of like I could still feel like I was doing something. So I went to Weapons Battalion at Paris Island, which is where um the rifle range is and all the recruits come through to shoot and learn, you know, uh qualify for rifle. And I spent four years there, and like life got real quiet. Um and uh, you know, that's where things kind of started taking a little bit of a turn, I would say.
Scott McLean:While you were in?
John Schrey:Yeah. I mean, I drank a lot, right? Everyone drank a lot, so it it wasn't like a noticeable turn. Um, but I had been on opiates before, before the Marine Corps and everything. And so when I came to Paris Island and I had a couple different injuries, uh, they put me on a bunch of meds. Um, I was able to get some pain meds, and uh I was able to drink, you know, because I still show up for work, you know, as long as you show up for work, that's really all they give a shit about. Um, and so the drinking, you know, I guess, you know, kind of um progressed, and then when I, you know, the opiates started coming back in. And uh so a couple years in I was you know, pretty, pretty much dependent on on alcohol and opiates. How was that, if you don't remind me asking? No, I mean it was brutal. So how was it on you on your family? So no one knew. No one knew. Um obviously they knew I drank, right? And my wife knows that I, you know, we partied together, you know, because I knew my wife before the Marine Corps, you know. She she and I known each other since I was 22 years old, just friends. Um, but we partied together. She knows I'm not an angel, which is one of the reasons that I was so happy to marry. I got she knows exactly even now, right? She knows everything about me. So um, but she didn't know this the the depths of the struggle, you know. Um and basically I started having to, you know. The way she found out is spending money on the credit card, cash advances to try and get more pills, you know, on the street, and that, you know, because I didn't have an you know, I wasn't getting enough. Um and um yeah, that's how she found out, and she knew exactly what was going on at that point.
Scott McLean:And how did that progress?
John Schrey:Uh so I went to I went to treatment in the I so I popped on a drug test. I told my colonel the truth. I said, I'm really struggling. This is what's going on. Um thank God I had a good combat career because he was like a combat, you know, he was an infantry guy colonel. He understood. He understood, and he knew I wasn't just some you know piece of shit, you know. He he's he knew who I was. Um so he put me in treatment and they let me, you know, I went to treatment, got out of treatment, got out of the Marine Corps like a month later. Um my daughter was like four months old at the time. Went back to South Florida, bought a little house, like a townhouse my parents helped us get. Um, and life just completely slowed down. But I had everything, you know, the the American dream, you know. War hero, you know, according to you know, my family, beautiful wife, beautiful house, beautiful cow. Everything, you know, all the bells and whistles, or everything you know you think you need. Um and then I would go into that house. I just feel so uncomfortable, you know, it's too quiet. I'm already, you know, now I'm numbing myself with drugs. How old are you at this point? Uh 2014, 2015, 34? 34, yeah. Okay. So just um or 33, 34, one of those two. And uh you know, I got a job, but I just, you know, the drug, you know, if you don't do what I've learned, right, is that if you don't do anything about the addiction or your alcoholism, you know what I mean? It's not you're not gonna stop. You know, you're not just gonna like flip a switch. Everyone would do it if they could, right? I do know what you mean, as we know. Yeah, yeah. So and I didn't know that at the time, you know, but um I just couldn't stop. And it just got worse and worse, and then you know, I did what I thought I had to do, which was you know, quit creating chaos in the house and just not come home, you know.
Scott McLean:So you get home, you get the beautiful house with the beautiful wife, as the song says, and you start hanging out with your friends again, start picking up old relationships, old habits. Exactly. And you just start running like you did before because that was the excitement that you needed.
John Schrey:It was the excitement I needed, and and again, I say this all the time. Like, I don't blame the Marine Corps PTSD for my substance use. And I I knew, see, for me, I knew what would make my brain stop, you know, which would slow me down. I knew what would numb me, which was drugs and alcohol. So I did they they were they were the cure to what was going on in my head temporarily, you know what I mean? So um, and you know what? That probably kept me alive. Right? I say that too, you know, two of my my closest Marines. Reason I do what I do now, and you know, or I, you know, when I get when I get disheartened or anything, I think about these two guys because like they don't have the opportunity to do what we're doing here, you know, and they they took their life. And I think I know if it weren't for really for drugs, I would have taken my life. Um I never was a suicidal type of person, but I know that I couldn't stand what was going on in my head, and I couldn't stand I hated myself for not being able to go home and be like a dad to this beautiful girl and a husband to this very um loyal and and and supportive wife. You know, I hated myself for that.
Scott McLean:Because you were using.
John Schrey:Because I well, right, and uh yeah, chicken or the egg, right? Like I I'm using to not feel that way, but then it's just making me do more of these things to make me feel like a piece of shit. Or be a piece of shit, really.
Scott McLean:So you're working, wife, daughter, house, car, then there's that side, the other side. Right. You're out with your friends, you're using, you're staying out, you're causing chaos in the house. Um everything has a tipping point. What was the tipping point?
John Schrey:Um, to to start to recover or no, there's another story before that, right? Yeah, the tipping point was my wife had, you know, we our relationship had pretty much if I was still before I went left the house, it was just like roommates, right? But roommates where the roommate was stealing, and that would be me, right? And doing everything else. Um But I loved them, right? Like I I mean, I love I mean the proof now I have tangible proof that I'm not full of shit, right? Like I love my wife, like she's the best in the world. My daughter, I I I I would have died for her, right? Now my question is always like will you live would you would you live for her, right? That was the problem. I I easily would catch a bullet for them and I would tell them that. But that's pretty much what the Marine Corps, right? Like, that's what you do. But um, so I knew so I just left the house. I just said, you know, why am I gonna do this? You know, to them. Let me separate myself. And throughout, and then you know, I live so I lived homeless, and you know, I would overdose and end up in a psych unit.
Scott McLean:Well, let's if you don't mind, no, yeah. Let let's kind of break that down. Sure. So you just say, I can't fucking do this anymore. I'm not gonna do this to you. I'm not gonna do this to my daughter, I'm not like I just so you said I'm hitting the streets?
John Schrey:I think yes, I and my let's be clear too. My wife didn't want me home either anymore at this point. Okay, you know what I mean?
Scott McLean:That's important, yeah.
John Schrey:Yeah, but I think it's like who chose who who chose to kick out or leave first.
Scott McLean:It was a mutual agreement almost.
John Schrey:Yeah, without anything being said. It's just I didn't come back and she changed the locks, you know what I mean, type of thing. And I would come back home to try and like you know, get some jewelry, or you know, I I knew how to sneak into the upstairs window, and I I had a per, you know, the I wasn't allowed near the property, the cops would come. My you know, I might my parents were completely on her side, so you know, fuck them too. Like they'd call the cops addict mentality. 100%. Yep. 100%. And uh, but she also, I you know, I didn't feel any love from her because I I had taken all that, you know. So in my mind it was like, well, we're not gonna be together anyway. You know, then I go to treatment, I'm in rehab, and I'm getting into relationships with people in there, you know, women in there, and just everything that I could possibly do, because like they would pay attention to me, right? And anything I could do to not feel like the piece of shit that I had become, or to not think about the things that I had done, I was like that's what I did.
Scott McLean:What was the uh so you started with opioids? What was the next step?
John Schrey:Um, I mean I I always like uppers, right? So cocaine turned into crack, um pills turn into heroin, uh snorting it, smoking crack turned into shooting cocaine, snorting heroin turned into shooting heroin, turned into anything I had, I had to shoot it. Um and you know, then fentanyl was coming around, but I didn't give a shit because it's like every time I wake up in an overdose, like damn it.
Scott McLean:The monster just keeps getting bigger. Yeah. How long were you out in the streets for?
John Schrey:Uh you know, for the better part of three years, uh three to four years. Um left the house at the end of like 15, and then I got sober in March of 19 for good. But 2018 I had some time, good good amount of time sober. Um, but the better part of like some 15, 16, 17 for sure, parts of 18 and 19.
Scott McLean:We had a conversation once, and you and I had I believe I mentioned to you something about a there's a foundation somewhere around West Palm or this, you know, it's this South Florida area, and uh oh, it's uh cell phones for soldiers. I had done an interview with them actually. They're nationwide, and I had interviewed and I had told you that they have this plan, this program for veterans, and they offer them cell phones. And you can look them up if you're watching this or listening to this. Cell phones for soldiers is a is an amazing story if you want to listen to the podcast episode. But I I remember telling you about that. This was like a a year or two. We've known each other for going a couple years, couple years, a year and a half. And you were like, dude, where the fuck was that when I was out on the streets? Because I remember this was just kind of this struck me that you were like, fucking, I'd be looking for a place to charge my cell phone so I could, and correct me if I'm wrong, so I could find call my dealer or find, you know, my next, my next uh, you know, I what was so give us that kind of breakdown of being out there.
John Schrey:Yeah, I mean, so I had a little disability check on the first. Most of it would go, I I always kept that going to my wife. Somehow I kept that going into her account, but I had like a certain amount that I would come to my account. So I would I would hope to have a hotel for the first like week of the month. Um, and then from there it was like whatever I could scrounge up on the streets, you know. I mean, I I would try and have my vehicle most of the time, but I would rent my vehicle out for drugs. Right. So now I'm walking. Um, and so that's usually when I would just be sleeping outside. And and yeah, I mean, like there's a there's a convenience store, a little Haitian uh grocery store on on uh Boynton Beach Boulevard across from the marathon. They have an outdoor plug. I can tell you where all the outdoor plugs and outdoor uh uh spigots are in Lake Worth and Boynton, you know.
Scott McLean:Take a shower.
John Schrey:Take a shower, just drink some water, you know, um, and then plug your phone in because there weren't too many plugs outside of these um out, you know, outside for you to use. And so I remember, and it was like the way that uh like the one on Boynton, like you had to plug it in, and then you had to like stand as far to your right as you could to like get your service to work without it coming out of the plug, and the plug was behind the ice maker. It was just but it's again like that was almost like being in combat. It was just so surreal, and it was just almost like like combat's what you signed up for. Well, I'm a fucking junkie. This is what I signed up for. You know, it was just it was a mi and every day was a mission. You know, I had a two to three hundred dollars a day drug habit, and um starting with nothing, you know. So I had to move, you know. I would I would meet up with this dope dealer real early in the morning, I would take him to get his like re-up stash, he would break me off. I would take that breakup, break it in half, sell half of it, use the rest so I wouldn't feel sick, and then just keep on doing that. It was it was insidious.
Scott McLean:It's a good word. Yeah, that's a good word.
John Schrey:I've thought about it quite a bit. Yeah, yeah.
Scott McLean:Um, what is the worst experience you had out in the street? Like you'd you almost got killed. Or you know, I I know there's a million stories, but what's one that stands out to you where you're like, this was a fucking crazy ass.
John Schrey:You know, it's funny, it's almost like someone listening to us think we set this up, right?
Scott McLean:But I uh I the first one that comes to mind when you ask that is a good um I can assure people this is not set up, this is a pure conversation.
John Schrey:We know we know each other well, so you know where you know we never had this in-depth of a conversation, though. No, never. Okay. Uh and I don't really get this deep normally. Um so I did write about journal about this once. Um so I'm sitting on this mattress, burnt mattress, and this we had no power. Um we used to have to go, this is a little they call it trap house, right? Whatever we call it. Boyton Beach. In Boynton, yep. And you'd have to go steal water to fill up your five-gallon bucket to bring to fill up the toilet so you could, you know, go to the bathroom to flush the toilet, that type of thing, right? Like bottom of the barrel. And I remember sitting on this couch or on this uh mattress, and this dude was sitting next to me. I don't even remember his name. And I remember he was overdo, he had overdosed, but no one could leave the trap house. You you couldn't come out unless like like we weren't gonna call the ambulance at the bottom of mine.
Scott McLean:So let me stop you that. Yeah. Explain to the the the viewers and listeners what's a trap house for those that don't know.
John Schrey:Yeah, like a drug, like like where the drug where you sell drugs out of, right? So so a drug dealer would sell dope out of there, and uh, you know, if you knew him, you could come inside and just hang out in there. So you probably have like six, seven people in there, I think, at given times. It's like an abandoned abando, they call it abandoned house. Uh over there in uh in uh Cherry Hill, which is in Boynton. And um, so yeah, so we're all sitting in there, and this kid's sitting there, and he's he he's he's oh he's laying on the mattress against the wall, and I'm there and I'm just you know doing what I do, smoke and crack, and he he's overdosing, but you can't we we we have nowhere to go. No one has a car. I didn't have my car then. What we were waiting for is someone to come with their vehicle, throw them in a vehicle, go drop them off at Bethesda, and then we would drop them, you would drop them off at the emergency room and take off, so because everyone was scared, even though there's like a law where they can't arrest you. But anyway, um so that's what we were because there was no other way. We're not calling the the the police or the you know, because the police are coming with 911. So I remember him and I remember his eyes, his eyes were kind of open. He was taking a gasp for breath every maybe 30 seconds or something. And uh I did have this realization right there, man. It was one of the like these just the complete paralla paradox, right? Of like when I was in Afghanistan, we lost this young man named Wilson, right? And it's probably the first one, first time I I watched some somebody pass away. And he had got blown up by an ID, and I won't go into detail because you know I do his family's on my Facebook and everything. I think we get it. Just the men of all men. But when when we were loading him up, he he was he was alive by all the adrenaline and the uh morphine that we had given him. And I remember him looking into my eyes and like the like the just this the blank stare, right? And uh I remember sitting on that mattress, and uh so that was 2008, now we're in 2016 or 17 when this happens, and I remember like looking at him at this kid dying next to me, and it was like the same like dead like blank look, you know. And I remember like having that thought like uh of the two, you know, and I I don't know what I thought about, just being like, what the fuck, you know? But what did I do? I lit up and I continued to get high. And uh I thought that kid had died. I ended up seeing him like six months later. I don't know how on earth he survived. I d I you know um saw him in another type, same type of environment. Um but he was alive. But just that parallel is one of the excuse me, one of the craziest. But it really summed it up for me, right? Like over there when when Wilson passed away, the mission continued for another like six, eight hours. When this kid's passing right next to me, the mission is to not feel, right? To get as high as I pa you know as I can. And that mission had to continue too. You know?
Scott McLean:Yeah.
John Schrey:It was wild.
Scott McLean:Yeah. So you were out on the streets until you said what yeah?
John Schrey:Well, 2018 I was given the opportunity to go out to Austin, Texas, to a little nonprofit uh treatment center. So how did that how did that happen? That's a that's a long story. So I had had I'd had a temporary sponsor in Miami. I'd been living in Miami for a while, a treatment center for a little bit, and then relapsed. Minute I relapsed, ended up in the hospital. And at this point, everyone was done with me. My you know, my parents rightfully so. My wife had moved back to New York, ex-wife now, right? She left. And I had nobody, man, and no one was calling there. I had a tube in my throat. And uh the one guy that came to see me was this guy, Lane, who was my sponsor at the time. And he kind of tried to keep in touch with me. You know, I I ended up running out of that hospital too, you know, whatever. But I was sitting in a uh in a hotel and I was finally tired, man. I was sitting in a hotel here in Boynton and I was just tired. And somehow I don't even know because it was, you know, I've been I stay up for six, seven days, you know, just trying to keep going. And uh, because you know when you go to sleep, you're gonna wake up and you're gonna be sick in the morning. So um anyway, I get this guy Lane. I don't know if he called, I don't even think I had a phone, so that's why it's weird. I guess I called him and and he's like, Look, uh I can get your parents to help with a plane ticket to get you to Austin. He lived in Texas half the time. He's like, and there's this mail treatment facility. All they do is work 12 steps, and um, I think if you know, if you're willing to go, you can fly home with me because he was going back to Austin. And he got my parents to do it, and I was like desperate as can be, and uh so I did it. And I went out there and I went right into that treatment center. And that's when in 2018 I spent some like 10 months sober. Who paid for that? Um, so a guy named Cole Schifflet that owns um it was called Solstice Recovery, it was a nonprofit. Um, he basically said, you know, uh they they told him I was a Marine and you know he knew a little bit of my story. He's like, no questions asked, just get him out here. If they if they can pay something, fine, you know. And uh and I went out there. And he and I think maybe we ended up paying 2,000 out of the 12,000, which is still a drop in a bucket compared to other places. Yeah. And then, you know, and when I when I relapsed and then got clean again in 2019, um, he brought me back for no money. And he's like my big brother now, you know.
Scott McLean:How long were you in that for? That rehab?
John Schrey:That 30 days.
Scott McLean:Thirty days.
John Schrey:Thirty days, worked steps, went to a sober living, got involved with the program, AA, and um did really well for a while. NA at all? Yeah, all of them. N A C A. I'm not a big I got sober and I say sober because I got sober through the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Now I go to all NA meetings, same principles, you know, different and they all have like you know, they have a little different drug. Yeah, and they all have a different, you know, they have a little uh rivalry, which I think is ridiculous. You know, but it's kind of like certainly is ridiculous. Yeah.
Scott McLean:So kind of like the the two uh you know basic trainings in the Marines.
John Schrey:Or like Army Marine, you know, it's like whatever. Like we're all in the fight for the same thing.
Scott McLean:So you get out of there, and what year are we in now for that?
John Schrey:That's so the first time was 18. I sit sober 10 months, relapse in November, coming home, coming back here to visit my kid, right? Relapsed, uh, and then finally March 2019. And in that five months that I was out using again, it was just the worst. Because I I'd had a taste of recovery, I had a taste of like clarity. I had gotten, you know, had gotten some things back. Um, you know, and my you know, again, I didn't have my wife or my daughter, they were in you know, in in New York. Um, you know, I'd gotten to a relationship that was really good for a little bit and then wasn't. Um, but thank God for that girl because she saved my life a couple times when I overdosed, you know. So um I owe her a lot too. Um but then yeah, so then finally got sober 2019, and uh that's really when I never look back.
Scott McLean:So 2019, you uh you get sober, you come back to South Florida or not?
John Schrey:No, no. I stayed out there, started working at a uh adolescent treatment facility, um up until I had 10 months sober, so not even nine months sober. So like end of November 2019, my wife, my ex-wife, Paula, calls me. She says, I need you to come be a uh, you know, you come be a dad, like you're doing the right thing. Now she didn't even know about that five-month relapse. So I was being dishonest with her for a little bit, but I didn't want to hurt her.
Scott McLean:Exactly.
John Schrey:And uh I talked to my sponsor, I talked to my therapist, and they're like, You're doing the right thing. You'll tell her when the time is right. Like she doesn't need to go through that again. So she thought I had like a year and a half or whatever. So I went, I went up to New York, man. I went up to New York with nothing. A couple hundred bucks, I rented a room, you know, this is where faith really kicked in. You know, it's like, do you, you know, the it's a principal in AA, and it's like they were like, Do you have I was like, I I need more money, and they're like, You'll never go, you know. So I went up there and I and I started doing that and slowly built my life back, man. Saw my daughter on the weekends, one day turned into two, two days turned into three.
Scott McLean:So from from you know, one addict and alcoholic to an alcoholic and a guy. Um you're up there, you're by yourself pretty much. You got this new job, you're in a new environment. Yeah. Those random fucking Wednesday nights when there's nothing to do, those are the most dangerous times, right? Did you uh ever hit that point where you're like, uh, like you're really on the verge, or were you just dead set like I am done with this?
John Schrey:So I I I had a couple of those when I was still in Austin at like maybe four months over, maybe ten, you know. Once I got up there, um, I was really entrenched in AA. So I had found so one of the things they tell you to do is when you go somewhere, raise your hand, tell them you're an alcoholic, and tell you, you know, you're new to the area. Something I would never do because my ego's too big, you know. Like, fuck you.
Scott McLean:Like, I don't know. You don't need to know my business.
John Schrey:Yeah. Um, but I did that. Yeah. I met some really good guys. One guy that I'm texting with just before I walked in here, you know, like some younger guys that were just had years, and um they they they swallowed me up, man. They were cool, you know. Then we started going to meetings and stuff. And, you know, the gym is my thing. Yeah, I got lonely a lot. You know, I didn't I had like like I said, I had a relationship going in Austin that was like on the verge of and I and then you know, my wife and I were just she was dating a guy, so that wasn't gonna happen anymore, which that's one of the biggest things I had to do to come to terms with like I'm not getting my wife back. Like, be a co-parent. Like, don't worry, you you you gave that up for that, you know. So um, so I wasn't trying to get her back. Um, but the gym, I would just I go to meetings, I go to work, I'd hit the gym. Like just it would I'd go two, three times sometimes, you know.
Scott McLean:And as they say, there's a meeting every hour of every day. Yeah, you just have to find it. It's true, you know. Yeah, uh, so all right, so you do your time up there. What was the next step?
John Schrey:Um, so slowly, you know, started getting more into my daughter's life, and she was like going on five when I got up there. Uh so she was in kindergarten, and um, you know, so a year into it, let's say, uh, you know, I was fully back in her life. We were splitting time. I had finally a big thing was like I could I had no credit, right? I had no credit, no nothing. I bought my wife's old car so she could get her new car, and I bought, I had a you know, I saved up money to buy that.
Scott McLean:So you still had somewhat of a relationship with her.
John Schrey:Yeah, so my wife co-parenting relationship because when she told me to come back, she has never held my daughter uh against me or as a pawn. Like I did terrible things to her. Never once did she say, You're not seeing Kendall. It was you're not seeing Kendall till you get your shit together, because I'm not putting her through what you put us through. And um, and I'm I'm so forever grateful for her. And this is why I moved to New York when she told me to. This is why I probably never could get into another relationship because like she was always my daughter's one and she's 1A, partly because she's the the the gatekeeper to my daughter, but also she earned that, you know, and so put once I got sober, it was like I can't like I made a commitment to her, and I can't put someone else ahead of her. Like, and and they these girls, I would like to still you still loved her, and I loved her to that. And I don't care how mushy that sounds, it's true. And girls would tell me, like, the girl I was dating, and hopefully I would love to tell her she was right, to be honest with you, but um, she's like, You're not over her. And I I thought I was though, you know, I genuinely thought I had moved past it, but I guess she was right in hindsight. But uh so my wife and I, she broke up with the dude, um, and her and I were able to because she was very respectful of him, and I was respectful of him. I didn't want to be at first, but he was a good dude. And um, so when they broke up, we were able to co-parent more, we were hanging out more, do things with our kid, you know, with Kendall, and and um, and then we just ended up like you know, it's been like three and a half years, we just got back together, you know. It was like and and one of the conversations we had is like you know, I said I was finally, because I had like three years, I came clean to her that I had didn't have as much time as I thought earlier, like maybe a little while earlier. She was totally understanding of that. She understood why. Um and she had seen what I who I am now and seen how I just have been elevating in my life. And um, and she I said to her, I said, look, you have every right to never talk to me again. Like, let's just get that on you have every right. If you said you never want to talk to me again and we'll just co-parent, understood. Um, because of everything that's gone on. But if you want to get back together and you're you want to do this with me, like I I've worked too hard to be looking over my shoulder. I've worked too hard to be questioned, you know, or or the past brought up. And uh I'll tell you what, dude, that woman has never brought up the past, she's never like tried to track me on my phone, um nothing. And it's been I mean, which is uh it's still mind-boggling to me, you know. But I guess she knows me. She's known me for you know, going on 20 years, so she knows now what to look for, you know.
Scott McLean:Yeah. So where in all this, in all this, through living in the streets and getting your shit together and you know, getting back with life, where where does or where did the Marines and your form and your friends and you know the guys that you went over with, where were they in the picture? Or was it even in the picture?
John Schrey:No, I mean look, my the guy who taught me how to be a leader, the guy who taught me how to be a Marine, um, Jeff Richburg. I don't even like calling him Jeff. He's Sergeant Richburg to me. Even when we were, you know, I picked up rank pretty quick and we were both sergeants at one point, which was crazy to me. Um I call him Big Dog because I don't like calling him by his first name. I have that much respect for him. Um he brought me up twice to South Carolina to try and help me. Um and the second time, one of the one of the I I may even get emotional now, like one of the things that made me hate myself more than anything was I stole from him, you know. He is a family, he's got a daughter, you know, a daughter and a son now. And um and I he he went out of town one weekend and I stole his guns and pawned him, you know. Um and that was just again, that that's when I was like, man, I I'm not coming back. This is a man that I love. Taught me more than maybe anyone in the w anyone. And and if I'm gonna do this to him, another one of my young Marines who I'm going to see get married in two weeks, his name is Richardson. Um I love this kid, man. He's my little brother. We've had so many like deep conversations outside of the Marine Corps. Uh I c I remember, I can tell you the hallway I was in in a Hampton Inn, and I wasn't staying at the Hampton Inn, I was using their phone to call him or their computer, and I hit him on Facebook to send me money. You know, this is a kid that I took on my second deployment, and uh he put his trust in me and I hit him up for money, you know. And uh that was just so they were always there for me, you know. My buddy Walton, he and I both have struggled with substances. We kind of went back and forth trying to help each other. He's still alive, thank God. Um so the Marine Corps was always there for me, you know. Um But I I I really thought I was just gonna die. My hope was that I was just gonna die because I didn't think I was gonna make it out. I would just finally get overdose, and then they could just show everybody my Marine Corps picture. My daughter could be like, This is my dad, war hero, look at his, you know. Um and uh that's that would be not junkie dad who came around for 20 years, you know.
Scott McLean:Yeah.
John Schrey:But uh so I don't know what you're asking, like, but that's where the Marine Corps, they were always there for me. Yeah, and um, and I'll tell you what, when I got my shit together, they were always there, they bit we are thicker than thieves.
Scott McLean:That's what it's all about. Yeah.
John Schrey:That's what it's all about. Um That's why I get so mad when they were talking about like people online. You know, people that people that talk want to talk about being a veteran because they want to I don't want to go here too far into this, but you know, when they want to ask for all the handouts or they they want to act like an asshole, you know, and it's like like they're not to me like like being what you and I are, you know, like like yeah, I have no tolerance for that.
Scott McLean:Yeah you know, like I um you know I've come to find that out that you know veterans this is the ugly truth of it. It's not so ugly, it's just this is the truth of it. Everybody thinks on the outside that we are all this band of brothers and sisters, and there's a loyalty amongst us, and you know veterans are people too. Yep. Some are better than others, some have ulterior motives, some use it to their advantage, some take advantage, some hold it as a badge. This is like, you know, um, I've I'm just gonna say it since it's out there. Um, yeah, you get the people like I'm a disabled veteran. Yeah, that's the first thing you get from them, right? And it were whatever for whatever reason, I am not judging them by any by any means. Right. This is just our experiences, and uh, and they evidently have a reason for that, but it just doesn't present well in the veteran space.
John Schrey:No, we're not victims.
Scott McLean:We're not victims, we're not victims.
John Schrey:And and look, I was I would do it like now I was doing it for a reason because I was yeah, you know, you're a junkie. I was a junkie, so I'll never judge anyone for doing it. But like when you're like capable and you're you're like like I like I do everything I can now to like change that narrative of the narrative that I was creating. So it's not, yeah, like I'm I was part of the problem, but we're not victims. In fact, we're the opposite, right? We're supposed to like it, just blows my mind, and it just it's very frustrating. Because like you said, I tell people I actually made a little video about that, you know. It's like sorry, yeah, like just because you're a veteran, don't trust them. You know what I mean? You better get to know that person because And you know that firsthand. I know that firsthand, yeah. You know, there's this guy asking for money now. My my Sergeant Major, my old first sergeant called me and and I don't know the story. I'm like, I'm not like we have to know what's going on. You know?
Scott McLean:Yeah, that's a first hand experience. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Um and and and on the other side of the coin though, if these people really needed the help, we would give it to them. Sure. You know, we would give it to them if it's but you have to watch for ulterior motives in in this world. And and I learned this, like, and I grew up pretty street smart. I had a lot of life experiences, and I went into the military with this idea that the military is above board and everything's above board, and I'm gonna be a security police, and I'm not gonna see murder and suicide and any of that. I was shocked when I was told that that's what you're going to see, right? Getting the last day of basic training. So we we do um we do all have our our issues. We all have things, but it's when you there's a different, it's a different bond. It's a different bond in being a veteran, whereas you do kind of bend a little. Like I've had people in my life that are just like, I'm done with you. Like done. But if it's a veteran, I think that's why we do what we do. And that's not the case for everybody, though. That we'll definitely step up. Sure. But we have to know why.
John Schrey:Have to know why. Yeah.
Scott McLean:Yeah. That's important.
John Schrey:It's yeah, it's and it's it's uh there's a lot of gray area, or you know, it's a very thin line, you know. So what you know this too, like the more longer we do it, the more you can tell who's full of shit and who's not. I hate to say it.
Scott McLean:Yeah, no, you're right, you're right. You know. So you um how do you end up with uh with Haven?
John Schrey:So I bounced around a little bit. Good friend of mine who was um in charge of the treatment center I went to like four times, you know. Uh he they were starting a big veteran program in in Ocala, and he asked me if I wanted to come work there. Another thing where I just jumped on faith, right? Because I'd live in New York, I'd worked so hard to get my daughter back and everything, and now you're asking me to move down to Florida. So what I did is I I would travel there every Sunday night until Thursday, and I would spend those four days with the with the veterans, building that veteran program with him and you know, the team. And uh I I I lived on the treatment center, and so I learned so much. I learned you know, all facets and kind of from all the you know different uh jobs and things like that. I just got to see it from the inside out. Um and uh take him to the gym every day at 5 a.m. It was great for me. I had like two years sober at the time. And uh his name's Chris Hanica, he's like a mentor and now become a good friend of mine. Um anyway, he left that company, and so I ended up getting another another opportunity to kind of progress up. Um, so I did, and so um slowly I just kind of not slowly, pretty quickly, progressed my way up um to where like uh I had always known about the Haven, but I was at another facility, which um good people, but you know, it told me they were gonna do all this stuff for this veteran program, and it never never panned out. And so that was another like I learned a lot from that. It's like, you know, that a lot of these places will say, like, no, we want to we want to build a veteran program. Okay, well, let's build it. Well, we got to make sure we can get the veterans first. And I said, Well then what's gonna happen? Then we get the veterans, and then they're like, Oh, but it's going pretty smoothly. It's like that's not what we discussed, you know, which again, when when you're putting, I always say treatment and capitalism don't work too well because there's always a bottom line that always has to win out over a human being. You know what I mean? So if it seems like it's working, yeah, but that's not what we discuss. So uh again, I had known the the owner of the Haven and I had spoken, and he was good friends with some people I know, and uh the guy who's in charge of all the um the business development I knew for a couple years. And so they finally they they kind of approached me at the right time, and so I said, Yeah, let's do it. Um I was trying to move down to Florida, I was still living in New York. Um, they had an adolescent program in New York I got involved in, which I still stay involved in, which I was where I got my start pretty much. And um, and I just learned all the you know, I'd known a lot about from from the other side, right? The addict experience and like how to uh how hard it was to get into treatment, how hard it was to like maneuver through the VA. I had that down pat. So then I learned the other, you know, more the business side of it. And um, and so when I came to the Haven, I had a pretty good working knowledge of like what's going on. And um, and the owner, um it's one owner, and he's willing to do like if we have a good idea and we approach him with it, it's not like well get us five vets and then we'll fucking you know spend the money. It's like okay, good, do it. And that was big for me. You know, that shows that you're putting, I guess you're you know, you're it's it look, it's a for-profit industry. There's a lot of money in it. I get paid very well. So like someone that was willing to like go take that extra mile before the money was there was very important for me.
Scott McLean:Did you ever look at the parallel of you go over to the desert, yeah, blown up a couple times, you come back to Paris Island, next thing you know, you're in weapons, and you see all these new recruits coming through. You've lived it, you see what's going on, you see where they're going, you already know, and you train them to whatever the capacity of your job was, and you talk to them, and and then fast forward, you were junkie living in the street, next thing you know, yeah, you're at a rehab, and you're seeing new addicts come in, and what are you doing? You do it's like the same thing, right?
John Schrey:It's very yeah, it's very true. I never looked at it like that. Yeah, it is. Yeah, very, very, I appreciate that.
Scott McLean:No, seriously.
John Schrey:And now it's tougher because there's a fewer number that are actually like graduating boot camp, graduating using to being sober. I mean, I think this is why I I tell guys too. I'm like, man, like I I think I am very good at what I do now. I think I've become very good at what I do. And I don't say that in like an egotistical way of like I I listen and I and I and I, you know, like you and I were everywhere. Like I go to every event and I absorb um and I become very good at what I do. But the bottom line is, like I said earlier, I got this job from all the junky shit I did before and all the treatment centers and all the bullshit I had to go through. And so I tell vets, I'm like, there are not that many, and it's true. Like the guys like me that check all these combat boxes, you know, homeless, all this stuff, we don't make it. We die. And I'm like telling these guys one way or another, one way or another, you know, through something. And I'm like, if you guys just if you can get out of this, like they'll you'll get hired in a heartbeat, and you'll excel because like if you put any of that junky behavior into the positive things with your discipline from the military, come on. You you could you could out you'll out you'll outlast everybody.
Scott McLean:So you're going back to the street smarts mentality, the survival mentality.
John Schrey:Survival, 100%.
Scott McLean:You know, if you have that, then I always said, you know, street smarts and common sense will get you through life. Yeah. Book smarts can come later. Agreed. You know, and I know a lot of people that I grew up with that that lived by that.
John Schrey:And they ended up okay. I think you're right. The book smarts can come later, and that's a I know some good therapists that started as therapists, right? And now they're they understand kind of what we go through. But it man, it's a there's a lot of like like I've had a lot of like therapists that came from great schools, and I was like, I'll I'll be able to do that. So let's talk about that for a second.
Scott McLean:Yeah, let's talk about that for a second. Um that that is that is a a thing. That is a thing. I've been through my share. And I've you know, I I talk to them and I'm thinking, and God bless them for what they do. It's a hard career to field, it's a hard choice. You are the sponge to a lot of misery, right? And so they have a heart and they they they want to help. They're the their intentions are true. But when you're sitting across from me and you haven't lived my life experiences, and yours and I is totally different, but there's still our experiences, like, how do you how can you break me down? Like, how can you tell me and and I had that issue for a while, but you know what? And then the right one, yeah, the right psychologist landed, thank God, right in front of me. And although she hasn't lived those experiences, she I mean, some of them are really when they're good, they're really fucking good. 100%. Yeah. And that's when you say, now I trust you. Like, as I say, you know, our relationship is kind of like a Tony Soprano, Dr. Melfi type situation. Um, but it works without the hooking up. What's that?
John Schrey:Didn't they hook up? No, no, without the hooking up, yeah. Yeah, that's Lorraine Brock, right? That's Lorraine Brock, yeah.
Scott McLean:Karen! Yes. Um, but when they when you do find one, dude, I agree. Because I've sat across from going, this is going nowhere for me. They've had me in therapy so many times.
John Schrey:Like, and I've had two.
unknown:Yeah.
John Schrey:Like I know some good ones now, but as far as like ones that help me, Jamie Salzburg, which if you're listening to this and you need to, you know, there's a free publicity for her. She was she's not a a veteran. Um, but you know what it comes down to for me, I realize the other guy was a veteran, and he actually worked at the VA. Um, and I'm the kind of guy, I'm looking on your walls, I'm seeing where you graduated from, I'm I'm looking at your books, and then I'm gonna ask you about the book. You know what I mean?
Scott McLean:You walk into every room and look at everything just built into you now.
John Schrey:Right. But yeah, so and I'm gonna call it just like any other. Like, what's that if you're in a random room? And it's so you know, but I'm that kind of I was that kind of guy. And um, but I think what it comes down to is you gotta if as a therapist, if you earn the respect, then then you're good, right? It's easier to earn respect if someone who's been through what you've been through, so that's why. But if you haven't been through that, but you can earn my respect or you know, uh anyone's respect.
Scott McLean:Um But when you go in there, it's you. It's not as mad about it, just like going to NA or AA. It's not about everybody else in the room, it's for me. Right. If you get my respect, which is what really matters. It's true, yeah.
John Schrey:Make me try because I always say this too, and I say this when I'm when we're building the veteran program, or or some of these, you know, these the staff will ask me, like, what you know, I want to be better with the veterans. I'm like, earn their trust. We don't I I said, I want to feel safe when I'm in treatment or in a in a room with a therapist. I want to feel safe, not safe from like being shot at or something, right? Like none of that superficial shit. Like, I want to feel safe and that I can open up and that you're not gonna just give me some bullshit answer. You know?
Scott McLean:Textbook. The textbook.
John Schrey:Yeah, I had it, I had a guy tell me he was a therapist at the uh naval hospital I was still in. And uh I finally opened up, I told him about some like dead bot, whatever, some dead that I had to collect up and everything. And um just shit I wouldn't, you know, usually share. And I told him about it, and he's like, oh well, and I one of the things I deal with now is is like my I'm still numb to death, right? Like when people like and I see people die all the time in this field, right? And it's like, and I and people call me some of these vet, and they they're still emotional about it, and I'm like, I have to tell them straight on I'm not the guy to talk to when it comes to someone dying. I don't have that in the yeah, I'm working on it, right? But I know myself, and so that's what I still deal with to this day. But I was telling this guy this this is 10, 15 years ago, and he said, uh, well, I know how you feel. You know, I was an altar, I was an altar boy when I was 14, and you know, we used to have to do funerals, you know. We used to have to be an altar boy for the funerals. And I dude, I never went back. I was like, all right, dude. Like, I'm not saying that that can't be traumatic for a young kid or something, but like you can't compare that to like picking up limbs of a 22-year-old man. Like I you know, I left her so fucking angry.
Scott McLean:I'm gonna uh I always say rule number one to to interviewing is shut the fuck up, right? If you're the interviewer, right? And don't make it about yourself, right? But sometimes these things come along, and I have to inject on this. Okay, I know exactly what you're talking about. And my first wife passed away from breast cancer. She had the most aggressive type of breast. She had tragic. Yeah, she had uh inflammatory breast cancer, it's the only one that goes to the brain, so this was not an ordinary uh, you know, year, right? And so I lived through that and I don't drink, right? I stayed sober. Uh my kids were a little older, they were, you know, so I I didn't have to deal with little kids, and and she passes, and and uh I remember someone saying to me, and this is right exactly on the spot of what you just said, I said, Oh, I know how you feel. My grandmother died of breast cancer. I said, What the fuck? Yeah. Like I was like, your fucking grandmother. What first of all, your fucking grandmother's supposed to die before you. Your spouse isn't. Right. When you're only 47 years old. Right. And you've been married 20 years. Like that. You know, like people just no clue. And they it's sometimes, and this is a bit of advice for everybody watching and listening. Sometimes, like being a good interviewer, you need to shut the fuck up. Really? Yeah. It's better sometimes to say nothing. Yeah. It's crazy. So I I know the what you're like, you think, did you really just compare these things? Oh, God bless you for trying to connect with me. Right. I appreciate it. But you just made something maybe a little worse.
John Schrey:And this was a yeah, this was a guy in the Navy, you know, like a like like he like what, dude? But yeah, no, it it makes you very yeah. Yeah, it sure as hell doesn't help. No.
Scott McLean:There you go, but they they think they are so you know, just a word of advice in the future, just think before you talk to somebody about a situation. That they might have been. Well, that's yeah. You know, you were an alter boy for and you you saw that, but were you the one pulling them out? Were you the one carrying them? Were you one dragging them? Right. Yeah. Nah. That's what I said about Yeah.
John Schrey:And the the doc up in Albany that I the other the other therapist that I really um Doc Golly, he 100, like he would, he was the type where if he didn't understand, he would say, I've never been to like that gains my respect. Just be honest. Like, I don't I don't know how that feels, but have you thought about you know, and then gives me some sort of solution that might work.
Scott McLean:So getting back to to the therapy and and talking about therapists, and you said when you go to to the rehab, you want to feel safe, right? Yeah, I think it's also because I was in a three-month rehab, and I think it's also you have to look at somebody and say, You get me. Yeah. Like you have to have that real connection. Like this person gets me, or this person gets it. Right. Like, because it's I was in with, I don't know, there was 18 of us, and then they were they broke us off into two groups. So this person gets the nine of us, right? You know, uh or close to it, which is that's important. Yeah. And I think that's what makes uh the that's the difference between a good therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist. I don't even care about psychiatrists. Right, right. I think psychiatrists are just they can just write prescriptions. Yeah, much talk to a psychologist or something.
John Schrey:Whole other conversation. What's the what's the numerical drug you're gonna pay me to? Yeah, yeah, to push. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been on all those too through the VA. I've been on every one of those SSNRIs and antidepressants, been through it all.
Scott McLean:And you and I have had this discussion. The VA is um it serves a purpose. And I always say I've I've come to this conclusion that if the VA didn't exist, what would we do? Sure. At least we have something, right? And it's a big ship to turn around. And you and I have had uh a couple of discussions on opinion on the VA. Sure. But it's it's uh I think we both agree that it's uh it's what we have, yeah. You know, and we want it to get better. In this case, it's almost like in what you do now with Haven and the uh what all right before we won't even talk about that. What is the uh what does your program do? Let's get into that. Right. What's what's your the Haven for Heroes?
John Schrey:My my main purpose now focus now, because we are kind of at the at the um well we have we take commercial insurance, right? We take tri-care for those um that are struggling with substance abuse, mental health, um that are retired. Um but the main how most of my veterans were coming is through community care, right? Through the VA. When the VA doesn't have a bed available, or you know, if the person wants to go out into the community, they would send us the referrals, and that's where my you know a lot of my beef with the VA is now because they're not o they're not optimizing community care, you know. So you got a a woman who, for instance, Friday called um, I got a call from the fire department, and uh um she had just come out of a baker act from drinking, and this fire the guy at the fire department who I've known for 40 years since I was a baby, actually, he uh he's been trying to help this woman and you know he does the outreach. So he tried to get her into the the VA. Well the VA said, all right, yeah, we'll set her up for an appointment on Tuesday. Well, this is Thursday or Friday. And he's like, I don't think she's gonna make it till then, you know. So luckily, we're able to take that person immediately under the Emergent and the Compact Act. But had we not, you know, they could if they didn't have a bed till Tuesday, they could they could send her out to the community, but they're not doing that. So, and again, there's there's different things that go into that, and there's again great people that are involved in that that aren't able to do what needs to be done. Um so now my focus and we did get her the help she needed to the compact, thank God. So she's with us now, but like my main focus is finding the the homeless or the ones that are struggling the most with the with alcohol, benzos, or uh suicide, because we can kind of circumvent, we can kind of get them right into treatment um and get them 30 days of treatment. So, really that's what we're focusing on now is more of like a triage, like a like a um emergent, just what it is, an emergency kind of basis. Um now the program is structured where you should go from detox residential to our PHP, which is in Del Rey. Did you have you been over there yet?
Scott McLean:Not yet, no.
John Schrey:So you have to come over. Oh, yeah, you you are at the detox.
Scott McLean:I was at the detox. So the PHP is quite a facility too, but it's awesome.
John Schrey:But wait, you should gotta come down to Del Rey where it's like it's more of like you just never invite me too busy for me. You introduced me to too many friends, so I just hang out with them. But um But no, so you'll have to come and see, but it's more apartment style living. It's better for mental health, I think, because there's more you can walk outside, it's a whole compound, it's an old, old uh apartment complex with a pool, you know, everything. But we also do like different TMS TMS machine. I don't like I'm not very good at the whole thing, but it's basically like so the goal with that is it's a it's oh god, I can't remember I don't know the name, but it focuses in on like if you were like when we get people that are very depressed and we give them an antidepressant, it sometimes takes a week for it to kick in. So now they're in bed for a week, they're missing out on a week of therapy, they're missing out on a week of like getting better. So this is a a way to get them up out of bed, get them into the TMS machine, which is for trauma, and also for ket we also have a ketamine um program now, which is uh spravado, which that actually is specifically for depression. That'll get you up out of bed day one, you go into the treatment, and uh you can kind of start, you know, um participating in your getting better without having to wait seven to ten days for some, you know, some sort of SSNRI or antidepressant to kick in. Um but that program ha is up to six months. And I think you know, we used to be able to get veterans for at least 90 days, like you, like you said you did, where they can actually clear the fog webs in the first 30, right? Because it takes, you know, if you've been drinking and drugging, you know, you're not you're not all there, you know. Now think you are right. So with 30 days, you know, you got like two weeks you start feeling like yourself, and now you got only got two weeks, you gotta start planning on your discharge. So um that that's the program that we've really focused on. Again, we have a lot of tri-care, you know, like r retired guys, men and women. Uh we do a lot of work with the with the Coast Guard as well. We have a Marine from uh Camp Ajoune. So I love that, you know, because I like to be, you know, I get to run groups over there and stuff like that. And Haven is nationwide, right? Haven't nationwide, yeah. Indiana, Arkansas, Arizona, um, Massachusetts. We have a great place in Jersey that we take veterans at in Jersey.
unknown:Yeah.
John Schrey:Arkansas, we take veterans, Florida, yeah, Arizona.
Scott McLean:Uh, is there a website?
John Schrey:Yeah, Haven Health Management uh dot org. Uh is pretty much, you know, you can go there and kind of you know make your way to the other sites and see everything.
Scott McLean:Do they reach out to you?
John Schrey:Yeah, you could reach out to me. I mean, that's when it comes to like the adolescents that I work with and then the specifically the veterans, I like to kind of be all hands-on. Like we were talking about control before. Yeah. Off the air. Like I like to have control over that because first of all, I know I know what to say and how to say it. Uh, and I know how to navigate. So um, yeah, I mean, definitely hit me up. You know, I don't know what how you put my number on this, whatever.
Scott McLean:You could say it if you want.
John Schrey:Yeah, it's 512-620-4038. 512-620-4038.
Scott McLean:Um John Schre.
John Schrey:John Shrey, yeah. Shrey, Shrey. We all say, I always say Shrey. Yeah, we take it.
Scott McLean:We're good with that.
John Schrey:It's S-C-H-R-E-Y. But yeah, I mean, you could hit Scott up, you know. Yeah. Scott and I speak every other day.
Scott McLean:Yeah. Yeah. When he decides to answer my text me.
John Schrey:No, I always no, I don't answer the phone calls. I text you back.
Scott McLean:I was just gonna say this. I got a text from one day that says, Don't bother calling me, I won't answer. I was like, how much more blunt can you be? Honesty, right? Principle of the first step, man. That was great. I think we need to circle back. We have an incomplete story that now that I think about it. Yeah. So, wife and daughter, co-parenting. Yep. Now, right?
John Schrey:Yeah. So well, we had that conversation. We get back together. Um, we didn't live together. Um, we lived separately for about uh a year and a half, and then um we made started making plans. I thought I was gonna be stuck in upstate New York forever. She made a comment about wanting to be in Florida. I said, wait, what? And my eyes lit up. That's all I had to hear. I was like, let's do it. So we planned well, uh, you know, look for a house. Um last August, we bought a house in Boca Ratone literally together, together, literally about three blocks from where I grew up or about yeah, about three to three or four blocks from where I grew up. Um together. We are not officially married, but we were rent, you know, we're we're married. I mean, we we've been through it all. Um and my relationship has been our relationship is just a hundred times better than it ever was before, obviously during all the bullshit, but just communication and just honesty, transparency, it's just like my life would never be where it was now had I not gone through what I went through. And it sucks mainly for her and for my parents, you know what I mean? And luckily, my daughters never, ever, ever remembered me taking a drink.
Scott McLean:My kids have never seen me drink.
John Schrey:Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, like wild.
Scott McLean:She waited for you, she stuck it out, she trusted you again. Again, yeah. And it's a happy ending. You got the beautiful house, the beautiful wife. Yep, yeah. So there you go.
John Schrey:It's unbelievable. And I it's it's almost like I'm sometimes I'm hesitant to tell that story because it's like not everybody is that lucky. Yeah. But I will say, I'm always clear, like the only reason I I know it that it ended up that way is because I didn't try and get it back.
Scott McLean:You weren't lucky, you worked for it. Right. There's no luck involved.
John Schrey:But I just worked to get better and be a man and be a father and a co-parent, and then I got the benefits of it.
Scott McLean:That's you worked to get sober. You worked to to you know get off the the junk. Yep. You worked to get your life together. And that's there's no luck involved with that, my friend. I appreciate it. That's work. Yeah. And it's not easy work. No. And this is the the fruits of the of the work. That's the result. I love a happy ending, my friend. I love a happy ending. That's good shit. Yeah, yeah. So uh, did we forget anything? Is there anything? Haven, you want to talk one more time? Website?
John Schrey:Um, Haven HavenHealth MGMT.org. Um, I mean, you could email me at Jsry at Havenhealth MGMT.org, or just give me a call again. Yeah. Um, hit Scott up. Um, but yeah, really, all that aside, man, if you need help, we say this all the time. Everyone always asks, what's the one the advice you have? Like, we gotta know. We gotta know. We're out there, we're in the we're in the streets, we're in the events, and everything, but these events that we go to, you're not going to, right? Like people that we want to help aren't going to them. How do we get to you? And that you have to kind of meet us halfway or at least just step out and let us know. You know, and then and then and then we, you know, we have so many you've interviewed people almost weekly. We have so many assets and so many different um outlets that we can we can, you know, kind of set you up with Mission United, you know, hit them on that board too. Jonathan, you're like people dying to help, Heard, Heard Foundation, you know, Ashley, you know, 22 Project. 22 Project. It's like, you know, but we but it all starts with you know, we have to know. Yeah. Because most of these you're in a dark room by yourself, like you could be alone in a crowd, too.
Scott McLean:100%. Yeah. You know, that's that's I know that feeling. Yeah. So well, all right, my friend. Uh thanks for coming on. I know we did an audio podcast a little over a year ago, and that was a great one. But now that we're in the video world, um this is its own standout, you know, interview. I want to thank you for coming on. Thank you for sharing you know your experiences because that's what makes the difference, you know, the connection. Yeah. Um, thanks for what you do for us out there. I truly appreciate that. I'm not saying it because I'm behind a microphone. No, I appreciate you. I I appreciate it, I respect you. Um, and uh I knew the first time I interviewed you, what did I say when we were done? I said, I think we're gonna be friends. Yeah, I know it's wild. And we are. And then you get that phone call from me one day saying, Hey, do you feel like uh being on my board of directors? You're like, Me?
John Schrey:No, I think, yeah, and I think it's you know, back to the the one man with Mike. It's important, right? Like some people aren't good at journaling, right? Some people aren't good at like writing down, you know, or you know, this is a good good way. And it's not easy at first, but it's definitely like cleansing to be able to talk to you.
Scott McLean:You do a lot of podcasts. Yeah. So well, all right. Uh let me do my outro and then stick around for a second. Well, thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. If you like it, share it. If you didn't like it, well, thanks for watching and listening for one hour and two minutes. I appreciate that. Uh, we built a bridge today, a recovery bridge. I love I love every bridge that we build on this podcast. And again, uh, if you want to get in touch with John Schrei, uh just rewind. He gave you his information twice. And uh yeah, again, if you want to see what's going on with the One Man One Mike Foundation, go to one man one mike foundation.org. Uh, it's very outside the box uh for veterans that uh want to connect. And uh that's it. So until then, I will see you or you will see me next week.
