Divorce Rich with Jacki Roessler, CDFA

How A Classic Comedy Sparks Real Talk On Divorce And Money: The First Wives' Club

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A classic comedy, a live panel, and the real decisions that shape life after divorce—this episode brings it all together. We announce a special screening of First Wives Club at the Michigan Theater on January 28, 2026 at 7:00 pm https://marquee-arts.org/event-page/tickets/?showingId=990348 and unpack why a female-centered story still sparks the most practical conversations about money, housing, and agency. Alongside the theater’s community mission, we explore how film can open the door to legal and financial literacy without losing the hope and humor that keep people moving forward. 

We sit down with certified divorce real estate expert Jodi Douglas to get specific about the toughest choice many face: the home. We dig into emotions versus math, the four divorces happening at once, and the first-year realities of single homeownership. Expect grounded tactics—budgeting true carrying costs, using a home warranty to buffer surprise repairs, and writing enforceable safeguards when couples keep a house jointly for a limited time. From payment verification to credit protection and repair protocols, we show how clear rules prevent avoidable damage.

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Divorce Attorneys for Women: Michigan's Original Divorce Attorneys for Michigan

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Visit us at https://www.roesslerdivorce.com/ to learn more about Jacki's practice and to find valuable resources for your case.

The Divorce Rich podcast is proudly sponsored by Center for Financial Planning: Striving to Improve Lives through Financial Planning Done Right! https://www.centerfinplan.com/

SPEAKER_04:

Welcome to the Divorce Rich Podcast. I'm your host, Jackie Ressler. I've been a certified divorce financial analyst for 28 years, helping clients and their attorneys navigate the often complex and confusing financial issues in divorce. If you're in the process of or considering divorce, now is the time for you to take a deep breath and give yourself permission to find clarity on the financial issues you're facing. Rich means many things to many people. I believe the best definition of being rich is someone who has access to many resources. Along with my guests on this podcast, I will be bringing you a wide variety of information so that you can make sound and informed financial decisions for your financial future. Hey, if you're recently divorced or still in the middle of it, you already know that life can feel like it's been turned upside down. And let's be honest, the financial part, it's overwhelming, confusing, and often the last thing you want to deal with. That's why I want to tell you about the independent wealth management team at Center for Financial Planning. Their team of certified financial planners specializes in helping people just like you navigate life changes with confidence. Whether it's assessing your new financial circumstances, creating or updating your retirement plan, or helping you adjust to the new normal. They'll work with you to get a clear, customized plan to feel in control and move forward with confidence. So if you're interested in working with a financial planner who you can trust to have your best interests in mind and you're ready to take the next step, visit centerfinplan.com. That's centerfinplan.com and schedule a conversation. Center for Financial Planning, live your plan.

SPEAKER_00:

Disclosure. Securities offered through Raymond James Financial Services Inc., member FINBRA, SIPC. Investment advisory services offered through Center for Financial Planning, Inc. Center for Financial Planning Inc. is not a registered broker dealer and is independent of Raymond James Financial Services. Center for Financial Planning was a sponsor of the Divorce Rich Podcast. The Center for Financial Planning and Raymond James are not affiliated with or endorsed by the Divorce Rich Podcast.

SPEAKER_04:

Hi everyone and welcome back to the Divorce Rich Podcast. Today I'm so excited because for the first time, the Divorce Rich Podcast is moving into the community and co-sponsoring a really special event in Ann Arbor, Michigan, coming up on January 28th at 7 p.m. at the Michigan Theater. It's going to be a special screening of the First Wives Club and then a panel discussion after. So today we're going to talk about that. And I have someone from the theater that's here with us to explain the program. And I also have Jodi Douglas as my guest, who is also co-sponsoring this event and will be on the on the panel talking about real estate and divorce. So welcome, Lindsay and Jody. Thank you.

SPEAKER_05:

Hi. Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_04:

So excited to have you here. So Lindsay Dodge is the um, she's the head of sponsorship at the Marquee Arts, which is the nonprofit that owns and operates the Michigan and State Theaters in Ann Arbor. Let's start with the film series. So this is not going to be a one and done kind of an event. Tell us how um how the series has been structured and what you what you're looking for to add to the community.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, so the screening of the first Wives Club with a Q ⁇ A and panel afterwards, which I'm so excited to partner with you guys on, um, will be a fun, empowering film that is then followed by a panel that works with community experts like you guys, as well as University of Michigan law school professors who are experts on different topics. So we're launching this with First Wives Club because the uh U of M law professor we'll be working with is the head of the Pediatric Advocacy Clinic and is an expert on uh DV, coercive control. And we can have conversations about divorce that empower and uplift the community, but also get to show a story that shows that there is life after uh, you know, some of these really challenging events. So we view this as part of our accessibility and community outreach arm. We're a nonprofit and we are an independent uh community arts and culture center at the Michigan and State Theaters. So we're really excited to explore how we can offer these opportunities to uh community members to uh educate themselves on different topics of significance to them.

SPEAKER_04:

That's really exciting. So this is the inaugural one.

SPEAKER_05:

Yes. Yes. This is the first one that'll be Wednesday, January 28th at 7 p.m. at the Michigan Theater in the main foyer. How did you pick this movie? Uh, well, in partnership with our director of programming, Nick Alderank, yes, we were choosing a film that um besides Diane Keaton being uh just an incredible actor that was recently that we recently lost, it's a film that we felt has a female uh auteur behind it, uh, that it has an all-female cast, that it represents a female point of view, which often when we're talking about uh divorce in particular can sometimes be lost. Uh when you think about some of the best divorce stories, Kramer versus Kramer or a marriage story, there are a male gaze behind it. So actually, First Wives Club is not that. Um, and so we liked that as sort of a way to reach uh more women who who need something uplifting in that moment, but also will need them, hopefully, the uh community panel afterwards.

SPEAKER_04:

I am so excited, and I know Jody is excited too. I do feel like um the part of the conversation about women in divorce and especially the part that relates to them, women being financially unprepared is a topic that really resonates today still. This is not a new movie, but I don't think it's very different in terms of what I see in my practice as a CDFA in terms of preparedness that people never giving up awareness of the finances and having a hand in that, I think is a really important message to give to all women. So I'm I'm really excited to be a part of this.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, I'm so glad to partner with you guys on this. And yeah, I completely agree. You know, unquestionably, it it has not aged as much as it should have. Right, right, exactly. Um, and whether it's finances or the legal situations, uh women do need access to information, especially if they've been caregivers uh for any sort of extended period of time. And so that's part of our mission is to provide that arts and culture and community touch point as the downtown living room. So we are really excited to have that as, you know, new offering that we can have for Ann Arbor and beyond.

SPEAKER_04:

That's amazing. How what are some of the other topics that you have planned for this series?

SPEAKER_05:

So, what we would love to do is to also look at the changing legal landscape for immigration, uh, for housing. What we we want to look at the topics that people are really most motivated by so that it's reflective of the community as well. What we always say is ideally, the community will program us as well, that people will come to us and say, this is what we want to see, this is what we need right now, and that we're responsive to that as the independent downtown space. Awesome.

SPEAKER_04:

Well, I look forward to seeing more of those movies and more of those events. And anyone is welcome, right? I mean, even if there are a few men that want to come and see the movie, it's open to all.

SPEAKER_05:

Absolutely. Uh, we want to be welcoming to all. And of course, this is um, you know, a slightly different uh gaze to it, that it is a more female-centric point of view, but that certainly should not uh disclude anyone from attending. And of course, there are male caregivers and there are men who are fantastic dads, and this is a community space. So absolutely it is open to all. Um, and the QA and panel after the screening is free.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, awesome. Um, so let's turn to Jody. So, Jodi Douglas, you are with Howard Hannah, and you have a really unique specialty. I you're you specialize in working with uh people that are going through divorce. Can you tell us more about that?

SPEAKER_02:

Yes. So thank you for I work with Howard Hannah Real Estate Service as a certified divorce real estate expert. So it was really taking um an experience, my own personal experience, and seeing where there were things that I didn't know. And as going through divorce myself and then reframing that um to help people in the community who are facing divorce.

SPEAKER_04:

Right. And I know from working with you with clients that that is an area that um is so specialized and people don't often realize that they really need to have somebody who specializes in that. So it's very helpful to have someone with your specific experience and training. You have a lot of added training.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes. So I have my um divorce certification as a certified real estate divorce expert. And then I also have civil mediation training, domestic relations, collaborative law, and divorce coach training. And a lot of it, it was never because I wanted to be a mediator or be a divorce coach. It was more looking at it from different angles, how I could best serve individuals. And within my specialty as a certified divorce real estate expert, I remain a neutral within the home selling process. So if I'm there, if I'm helping a couple going through a divorce, I'm there to sell the house. I won't help either party purchase a home until after that transaction is done to truly remain neutral within the entire process itself.

SPEAKER_04:

Why do you think, why do you think, Jody, that the first wives club still resonates today with women?

SPEAKER_02:

Because unfortunately, I don't think much has changed since then. I think that women in general, um, we take more obviously on that caregiver role. We leave the finances to the men. As I don't know if it was you or Lindsay who said, even if it is someone who is out there working, I think a lot of times we turn a blind eye to whether it's the finances, whether it's the housing, so that whenever you're faced then with a situation of divorce, you're we're coming at it from a completely uninformed decision. And sometimes the divorce process is going so quickly and it's moving along so fast that we're not, we don't have the adequate information to make a truly a clear picture. A lot of times we're basing it on our emotions. So I always like to say that when we're looking at a divorce, it is there's four divorces happening at once. You have the legal and the financial, but you also have the emotional and the social divorce. And where I see that is a lot of times it happens to fall around the house. And so we're making very uninformed decisions and we're making those based upon more emotions that I don't want to leave. That we do a lot of things like I don't want to leave because of the children. We want to keep them in a certain area, we want to keep a certain normal, and it's just not coming at it from what is truly uh the best decision for us, whether it's like that one-year plan, that five-year plan, or five-year plan, where, and sometimes it's hard to see that, but we were making a lot of emotional decisions where it should be more logical and more really looking at the finances and something that we haven't seen possibly throughout our marriage and relying upon somebody else.

SPEAKER_04:

Right. I I agree. And in my work as a divorce financial advisor, um, a lot of my work centers around the house with clients and putting together, I like to put some reality to that. So let's put together a budget. Um, but sometimes, even though we look at a budget and we look at concrete numbers, sometimes it's still the that emotional pull is still really difficult. And I always feel like my goal as a CDFA is to educate clients and bring clarity. So if as long as my client can see, okay, I'm gonna keep the house, it's gonna be hard, but this is the choice that I'm making based on a point of knowledge. So I know how much the carrying costs are, I know about the property taxes, I know that things are gonna break down and that it's gonna be all the on me, and I'm gonna have some idea of what it will cost. Keeping all of that in mind and making that decision still is different than not having any information and doing it just based on the emotions.

SPEAKER_02:

Um Right. And I think sometimes too that it's not until you start living, like you start living it and you're the one actually paying the the bills um and keeping up those carrying costs that you really see. And this is this is true whether you keep the home or you purchase a new home, you know, post-divorce. I mean, that's why I always am a very big advocate for that one year, you know, for the first year that you're a new homeowner as a single, as a single person, as a single woman, that you put a home warranty on the home in case something big happens, you know, in case the the HVAC system goes out or an appliance breaks. I mean, I just I always think back to the first time that my air conditioner went out and it was just kind of like, oh my gosh, I'm the only one paying this. Now, to that, I have to take my own advice and then put a home warranty on it. Because I did take care of it.

SPEAKER_04:

Can you explain for our listeners who might not know what a home warranty is? What is a home warranty?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, so it's a one-year um warranty on the home that covers things such as your furnace, your air conditioner. You can add on your um, it covers like the general appliances in the kitchen, but you can add on your washer and dryer. And it really can cover rekeying a house for new locks. And you pay, you know, you pay that right up front. It's like 500. The one that I always use is around$530 a year. And then if you have a service call, you pay the service call of like$100 and then they repair it. So for example, this past summer, my air conditioner went out yet again. And if I would have paid that on my own, it would have been a$1,400 repair on the air conditioner, but I only paid$100. So I did pay that$530 up front, but to me, it was well worth it. And now this is, you know, obviously for me, years post-divorce, that I'm still doing it and taking, you know, doing what I tell my clients to do. Right.

SPEAKER_04:

So I have found that one of the one of the suggestions that I that I generally make when somebody, when I can see, when I look at the projections and the client and I sit down and it looks like, you know, you could afford the house, but you're gonna have to use all your retirement assets or you're gonna be really tight, you're gonna have to reduce your budget. An option is always available to anyone when they're negotiating their case. What if we kept the house jointly for X number of years with the idea that we'd revisit it? So maybe we're gonna keep the house as is for two years or you know, one year, and then in one year we'll come back and decide if I'm gonna buy you out of the house or we're gonna sell it and split the proceeds. And a lot of people on the other side, the person who is, let's say, the person who doesn't want to keep the house is usually open to something like that. And what I like about that idea idea is that it gives that flexibility, like you said, you don't really know what it's really gonna feel like until you're at least a year, you're paying all the bills and you're the one in charge of all the repairs and all the things that break down and all of the problems. So I like that one year buffer to kind of kick the can down the road, but a lot of times people don't want to do that. They want to be separated. So, do you run across that very often, Jody, when you're working with people?

SPEAKER_02:

I I don't run across that very often where they're both jointly keeping it. I guess I look at it from a little bit of a different angle is that, and maybe, you know, you would know better than I, if there's parameters put in there as to if you're keeping the house jointly together, your credit is still tied together. So making sure that neither party is doing anything to necessarily jeopardize the other person's credit. Um, you know, I've I've heard of situations where one spouse thought the other spouse was paying the mortgage and they weren't. And there were a lot of other extenuating circumstances, but they both ended up having to declare bankruptcy. So I kind of hear a little bit of the opposite of um kind of the the reasoning as to why people don't do that. Um I had one years ago. I mean, years ago, I ended up not even taking it on. It was that um spouse, they decided to keep the house together until the daughter was out of high school. And it was a two-year period. And they um no the the in-house spouse did not do anything to the house. They had a uh swimming pool in the back that was remained, you know, empty. They had cats that were ruining the house. She felt that the that if she did anything to the house that it would benefit the um out-of-house spouse, the husband, he felt like, I'm out, I'm out of the house. I don't, it doesn't matter to me, you know, what's going on. And in the end, they both ended up hurting themselves. So I would say I completely understand the perspective of kind of like getting used to paying that kind of kicking the can down the road a little bit. But I would say what safeguards are being put in to present to prevent any um, you know, what happens if there's a roof leak and somebody doesn't take care of it or like what what happens? Right. Like that's a really good point. All of those. parameters being put in. What happens if, you know, is there a check and balance that spouse, the in-house spouse is paying the mortgage, that the that the out-of-house spouse who's agreed to this, that that they get to see, you know, okay, every uh three months we check to make sure that the that the mortgage is being paid because it could end up hurting both of them in the future.

SPEAKER_04:

I have seen financial protections in place. Um that's the ones the settlements that I've seen have been that's pretty common where it says if a person is late by you know if 30 days that the house will immediately be put up for sale. And the person that is the out of house spouse would make the payment and get credited back for that. As far as the other things you've mentioned about a leak or not taking care of the house, that's a really interesting point that um that you're making there.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I mean I would just say how are the big issues, let's say if a if a furnace went out, if the if the AC went out, if you did have a wall like who's taking care of who's taking care of that? Because the way I look at it is is that if it's going to decide you know within a year as to whether someone keeps the house or not um and there's a chance that both of them that it would be sold jointly within a year, then what parameters are put in place for them a specific year? Correct.

SPEAKER_05:

Well I'm so excited for this conversation and these sort of things to be brought to the community because I think that's exactly right. You know, that's the sort of thing that if you are not in it yet, I mean you would have no idea to get that granular about it. And so um you know whether you've been a caregiver for a long time or you know are just you bought a house together and and it's the marriage the marriage is wrapping up, I think these are the questions that are really, really important for people to have a bit more insight into. So I'm really grateful to you guys. And I just want to say you know speaking as um you know a millennial uh I I do think that the film is really still so relevant uh because I kind of think of it as our generation is the first that um it wasn't even a question that we can have our own bank account. Our our generation is the first that's saying, you know, I'm leaving for the kids, I'm not staying for the kids. That there's a certain expectation of financial independence there for uh millennial women or for for women or men um that maybe wasn't there in previous generations. And so divorce is becoming uh I don't know if it's more frequent, but let's say it's it's certainly more driven by women than it used to be.

SPEAKER_04:

I would agree with you and statistics do bear that out that more women are filing for divorce than than men.

SPEAKER_05:

And I think that's because for the very first time there is not the same level of financial dependence that there used to be. And so this sort of education and empowerment is so important for everybody to have. And I'm I'm also just a fan of the movie because I think it's yes it's about like betrayal and reinvention, but it doesn't wallow. You know, it really is women reclaiming themselves and friendship plays such a huge role and I bel I truly believe we just need stories like that. That it's not just uh the tools for how do I get out of this, but it's the vision for what the next chapter can be and movies and stories can really help with that.

SPEAKER_04:

Well I oh oh I'm sorry go ahead Jackie oh I was just gonna say that I think that another really big theme of the movie is how these women had depended on a community that they created for themselves to support them. And I think that that is a very powerful message for for women that you have to um you know sometimes people's families are not supportive of the divorce. You can create your own community of people that have been through what you've been through to support you through that.

SPEAKER_05:

Just speak, you know, frankly for myself as someone who's been through divorce, uh a hundred percent I would echo that uh the women who have helped me through that process and my friendships were really uh bolstering in a way that I needed. So I'm so grateful to that and it's and I want to share that vision with others where possible.

SPEAKER_04:

But if you've been out of the workforce and you're raising small children and you make an agreement together with your spouse that you're going to be the primary parent, I think women in that are millennials have been given a pretty tough nut to to have to deal with that there are supposed to be career women and in charge of the house and in charge of the kids and taking care of all the domestic responsibilities and the doctor appointments and all of that. And there's so much added pressure on women nowadays to be able to do it all without support. And that's where I I think a lot of women are still really financially unprepared for what it takes to you know even after you make the decision I don't want I want to show my kids that I'm gonna be an example by having a good life and being happy so that but still sometimes it's how do you how do you financially afford it?

SPEAKER_05:

Yes I do I do think the relational dynamics play just as big of a role is that um you know when women are leaving something that isn't working, they're saying you need to meet me at my level of emotional intelligence or you need to meet me at this certain level that there's a gap still for some of us of and as as one of my favorite uh Instagram therapists will say what an opportunity for growth so for everybody. And I and I think that opportunity for growth absolutely for a lot of us is that education on the finances, the legal realities and educating ourselves, maybe not even just for ourselves, but for our friends. So we can be a good friend and we can be supportive and say, hey I actually understand better what you're going through or what this calls for. So I'm hopeful that people will bring friends to the screening and that it can be a moment of community for more than just those contemplating divorce.

SPEAKER_02:

I I would echo that Lindsay because I think just obviously you know even myself going through a divorce you really I've said this numerous times but if you were to ask me about divorce going through a divorce I would have said you cut everything in half you take yours I'll take mine and you you move on and there's just so much more to it than that and the community that and your friends and that you're leaning into um through this and how friendships even shift. Some grow in different ways positive and and negative um because there's just a a new reality and um you know I guess if your kids are older or even if they're younger I mean it's it's kind of hard no matter what but it is building that community and leaning into the the friendships and I guess as the person going through it being okay to say hey I don't have this all I I don't have it all together and it's okay like it's okay and let me lean on instead of us just trying to be so strong because you're right Jackie I mean women in general we're supposed to do it all we're supposed to have the career make those doctor's appointments get the kids do ever do everything um while we're going through this transition also.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah and you need your friends and that's why I I am so excited for this film. And I just want to uh reiterate that it is next Wednesday January 28th at the Michigan Theater at 7 p.m we hope to see everyone there and you can buy tickets online at www.markeyarts.com and that's marquee m arque-arts or dot org.

SPEAKER_04:

Markeyarts.org and I'm gonna have all that information in the show notes but thank you Lindsay for repeating that that's so helpful. And I also want to remind anyone listening that the Divorce Rich podcast is giving away two free tickets to the first five people that send us a question between now and the movie showing at divorce rich pod at gmail.com for our mailbag. And the question can be about anything does not have to be on um anything divorce related or finance related. But thank you both for joining me this is um thank you this is a great episode and I'm so excited to be involved with this event with you both coming up on January 28th. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you so much for having me. When you're facing divorce you deserve an advocate who understands what you're going through and who's dedicated to protecting your future. At Dawn Divorce Attorneys for women our mission is simple to help women move forward with clarity, confidence and strong legal guidance. Whether you're just starting the process or feeling overwhelmed by what comes next, our team is here to support you every step of the way schedule a free consultation today and learn how we can help you take back control of your life.

SPEAKER_04:

Visit women's rights.com slash free consultation video to get started hi everyone and welcome back to the mailbag segment of the Divorce Rich podcast this segment is sponsored by Dawn the Divorce Association for Women based in Michigan and their contact information will be in the show notes for this episode. Well I'm gonna dive right in and the first um the question that we're gonna be covering today was sent in by Ashley who is in the cold state of Illinois she's emailing us from Chicago. It is very cold by the way here in Michigan as you can see I've got my tea I'm sitting in front of the fireplace trying to get warm as I answer this question from Ashley. Ashley wrote to us asking about her husband's HSA. She says that he has an HSA through work and he's adamant that she should not receive any part of it. So she wants to know is that okay should she just let him have it or is it worth digging her heels in? So Ashley let's take a step back and let me explain what an HSA is. An HSA is a healthcare savings account it's offered through an employer and there are many benefits to having an HSA. The first benefit is the money comes out pre-tax so you don't pay taxes on that money as earnings. Let's say I make$80,000 a year and I put$5,000 into my HSA my employer I only get taxed on$75,000 of earned income for the year because that$5,000 that I put towards the HSA is deducted off of my taxable income. So that's one benefit. The other benefit is that I can use that account to reimburse myself for any healthcare expenses and that would come out tax free. Those types of expenses would include the definition is very broad. So it it could include co-pays, deductibles, prescriptions, mental health care co-pays it could even be for something as broad as cosmetic procedures you want to check with your HSA to see what they allow and what they cover. So that's another benefit of the HSA. It goes along with a high deductible health insurance plan. So if you have a high deductible plan you usually have the ability to open up an HSA and sometimes your employer will help and give you money towards your HSA. But even if they don't it's worth it for you to open that account. So that's the second benefit. The third benefit of an HSA is that the earnings on that account which are invested in assets just the same way that you would invest money in your 401. So you have different assets available to you that you can invest in and any of the earnings are not going to be taxed in the year that you receive those earnings. So another great tax benefit for the HSA. But the real benefit of the HSA is and I'm gonna highly recommend to you that if you have an HSA, you don't use it to reimburse yourself because it is a fabulous retirement savings vehicle. It is actually the best one out there. It is you get the deduction for it off of your income taxes off of your taxable earnings. The interest is not taxed to you and as long as it comes out for healthcare purposes even in retirement it's going to come out tax free. Also once you hit age 65 you can take that money out and you can spend it on anything and it would be tax free and it is not going to be it's not going to be treated as taxable income to you. So Ashley you want a share of that HSA. It is a great asset to have it can be transferred pursuant to a divorce you don't need any kind of a separate document like a quadro you would just need a copy of your judgment of divorce and whatever paperwork the custodian required. So you'd fill out that paperwork and it can be transferred to you. It doesn't matter where the HSA is held it's an IRS regulation that it can be transferred to you to a former spouse after the divorce now whether or not I'm gonna go to Ashley's bigger question, which was should she dig her heels in? And I don't know anything about the rest of your settlement Ashley so I can't tell you if you should dig your heels in or not I can tell you an HSA is a great investment and certainly you'd want to have one if you could now that doesn't mean that you should sacrifice other important things in your settlement negotiations for an HSA. That's going to be up to you your attorney and hopefully you have a CDFA that you can talk to about your specific case. So thank you again Ashley for sending that question in and I want to remind all of our listeners we would love to hear from you please send in your questions to us there is no dumb or stupid question. The only one that is a bad question is the one that you don't ask. So send them to us at divorcerichpod at gmail.com and again we would be thrilled to feature and answer your question on this show thank you so much for taking time out of your day to listen to Divorce Rich Podcast. If you like this podcast please follow us on Apple or anywhere that you download podcasts and share this link with any friends or family that you think might benefit from this information

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Jacki Roessler, CDFA

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