December 11th

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Welcome to On the Way with Tony Crisp. Each weekday, Dr. Crisp will be discussing biblical passages, people, places, and prophecies. Tune in daily to start your day right and deepen your understanding of how to better walk the way and enjoy the journey. Here's your host, Dr. Tony Crisp.

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Welcome to On the Way. This is Tony Crisp, and this is the 365 Bible reading plan. Today is December the 11th, and our chapter for today is 1 Peter chapter 3. What an amazing book. I hope you are enjoying this as we read through this first epistle of the Apostle Peter. What a tremendous power-packed book that this is. And of course, as you read through the chapters, you see I am only covering just a small portion of these chapters. I'll have to do the same in 1 Peter chapter 3, so I'm just going to cover the first part because this is a heavyweight section having to do with wives and husbands and how we lead one another, how we live with one another, how we work with one another, and it's very, very difficult to do. When a person lives with another person, there is opportunity, ample opportunity for disagreements, for fussing, for squabbling, for quarreling. And there is a way that God has laid out for us to live with one another in peace and in harmony. But that doesn't always happen because we're sinful creatures and we think we know more than God. That really is the case in most instances where there's fussing and fighting among children of God, among a couple that is truly wanting to follow Jesus, wanting to do what God wants them to do. All it takes is some crossways moments and a lot of bridge building can be burned. And so just like everywhere else, it's amazing, even though the men are the leaders of the home, the wives are first addressed. And so this tells us of the influence that this wife has in the relationship of marriage. Peter says in first Peter chapter three, wives, he's talking to those godly women who are married to husbands that perhaps are not followers of Jesus. They were married, then the wife was saved, the husband is not a follower of Jesus, and because of that there is trouble in the home. And so Peter said, Wives likewise be submissive to your own husbands. Now the word submissive has been greatly abused in our culture, and it is being abused every day. It is the word hopotaso. Hupotasso is the word for arrange under or to stand under. It comes from Tithemi, which means to stand, but it's the idea of order. It means get in your proper order, line up under one another, so to speak. This is the same word that's used in ancient Greek for a military rank. You see, a male and a female are on equal standing before God. The ground is level at the cross. Many have heard me say that over and over again. In other words, we don't come to God and get favor because we're male or female, because all have to come the same way through the Messiah Jesus. However, even though we are equal in essence, we are not equal in role assignment and responsibility. That's correct. Let me say that again. Male and female are equal in essence, but we differ in role assignment and responsibility. That is, what God has given us to do is peculiar to the male or the female. Now this should not be something that's hard to swallow unless we've got an axe to grind with God or with male or female, and we've listened to the culture and the moral values of the world. And if that's the case, the apostle Paul speaks to every one of us in Romans chapter twelve, where he says, Stop being placed and molded by the world's thinking, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And so wives likewise be submissive to your own husbands. That means get in your proper order. Well, what is the proper order? Well, God has made the man to be the leader in the home and in the church. Now whether you like that or I like that, that doesn't matter one whit. We don't get a vote on this. We think we can vote on everything or just make a decision on something if we don't like it in the Christian life and the word of God and we can just make it go away. No, God is going to have the final say, and women, men, men are to be loving leaders. Women are to be submissive followers and do that with reverence. The attitude in which the apostle Paul tells the Ephesians in chapter five that men are to lead is in the atmosphere of love, of unconditional agape love. Women are to be submissive, that is, they are to follow their husbands, obey their husbands. Yes, that's what the word is, whether we like it or not. Obey your husbands in the Lord, listen to me, and do that with a spirit of respect and reverence. Now many times we as men and women we obey God with our teeth gritted. And it's no different than other roles in the home and church and in society. For instance, Karen and I have three children, two sons and a daughter. But in our household, the father and mother were the leaders, and we were to bring the children up and nurture an admonition of the Lord. God assigns us to be parents, to be leaders. He doesn't assign us to be friends. My number one task when our children was growing up was not to be their friend and to hang out with them and for them to like me. That's not the role of the parent. If that's your role, you need to stop that. If that's the way you're looking at your children, stop that. What they need is a parent. God will send them the right kind of friends if you parent them correctly. And the fact is we all make mistakes, we all mess up. But God has made it clear we are to give direction to our children. They're not to give direction to us. I mean, what four or five-year-old will be leading a parent? Well, obviously in our culture, many, but that's not the way that God meant for it to be. And that doesn't mean that those children are any less than we are before God. They will have to come to Jesus just like we do. Nor are we greater than they or they greater than us. The ground again, listen, the ground is level at the cross, but there are role assignments in the family. The parents are to be the parents, the children are to obey the parents. That's what the Bible says. And the Bible that says, children obey your parents in the Lord, that it may be well with you and you may live long. It also says, parents, you've got a responsibility. Don't provoke your children to wrath. Don't needlessly provoke them and make them bitter along the way. Yes, it's their choice, but we can have a hand in that by our ungodly life and demands and harshness and all of those things. All to say the same thing can be true between a couple, a man and a woman. A man can be very harsh and unloving. It makes it very difficult for the woman to submit to him and to follow him and obey him. The same thing. If a woman is harsh and ugly and mean, it's difficult for a man to love her and be affectionate toward her and not cut her off. I could go on and on. This is not a podcast on marriage counseling, but there's plenty of counseling in the Word of God, and I have found out as a pastor, if I'll just preach the Word of God, there'll be more marriage counseling done on the average Sunday morning or Sunday night or Wednesday night message or whenever you meet together than in almost any marriage counseling office because the word of God is the basis for marriage counseling. We either obey it or we don't obey it. I know, I know what I'm saying is going to fly in the face of some of you, and I'll probably get a few emails, and that's okay, I'll answer you. Because I know where I'm standing on the Word of God. The role of the man is to be a loving, unconditionally loving husband, and the woman is to be a respectful, reverent, submissive wife. And so immediately Peter goes into this concept of winning a husband that is not walking with God. And so he says, if some of these husbands do not obey the word, that is the word of God, they don't believe the gospel message, or they've turned their back on God, they without a word may be one by the conduct, by the demeanor, by the behavior, the attitude of the wife. Now, isn't that amazing? If they can't be one with the word, that is the word of God, the gospel message and the truth of God, God can use your life, ma'am, God can use your life, wife, to be the catalyst that will get that husband's attention. You say, Well, I've tried that. Well, you just try it for a while and that's it. Are you before God saying, God, have I been that consistently, that loving, submissive wife with great reverence and respecting my husband, not when he's just around, but when I'm talking with other women and see, God sees it all. That's what he's talking about. Listen, ma'am, if you have an unbelieving husband, the one that spends more time with him with anybody is you. You can't blame the pastor, the deacons, or somebody that didn't act the way they need to. The person he looks at the most, if you're a follower of Jesus, a true follower, is you. And so you have more responsibility than anyone else to lead your husband to Jesus. It's not some other man's responsibility to do that. You're the one that's closest to him. You're the one that he says he loves more than any. You're the one that lives with him day in and day out. And if you give a bad witness by a bad attitude, I don't care what you say, you can tell him he needs to go to church, you can tell him he needs to go with you and the kids, you can tell him all of those things, but if your life stinks and your attitude stinks, it's going to have a negative effect on his salvation and his coming to Christ. And so I'm just telling you, this is what the Bible says. This is what this says in verse one. It says that they will be one without a word, without the word. Yes, that's right. It's a definite article. Even if some do not obey the word, that's talking about the Bible. They will without a word, they may be one by the conduct, the demeanor of the wife, when they observe your chaste, that is, your good conduct, your moral conduct, your godly conduct, accompanied, that is, along with the attitude of reverence, of fear. And that doesn't mean fear and trembling. It means in reverential respect and character. And so he says, just remember, it's not your prettiness because your prettiness is going to fade away. It's not how you dress that's going to change. It's who you are on the inside that makes an impact on your husband. Because let me just tell you from personal experience, a woman can be absolutely beautiful on the outside, and she opens her mouth and it's all negative, and no husband wants to be around that kind of talk. Because it's a downer. It is discouraging. Because a man wants a pleasant woman to love him, to care for him, and to not be nagging him all the time about stuff. You say, well, if I don't nag him, he doesn't do things. Well, have you ever tried not nagging him? Okay, we move along. And so here we are, we're now into verse three. Do not let your adornment be merely outward. That is, yes, you need to look as pretty as you can, as attractive as you can, and that's through, you know, hair, accessories, apparel, all of those things. But that's not the most important. The most important thing is, and this goes on the longer you are in the marriage relationship and the longer you live together, it will be that person that's on the inside, that's gentle and quiet, and not tumultuous and raucous and boisterous. Let me tell you, there's nothing more attractive than a woman who can't keep her mouth shut in public, but interrupts her husband, tells him what he needs to do, embarrass him in public, then you turn around and tell him he needs to give his life to Jesus, that doesn't work like that. I'm not the one that's emphasizing the woman's role here. God is. And so he says even Sarah called Abraham Adonai. That's the word for sir or mister in this context. It's like in Spanish senor. Then he starts on the husbands. Now I'm just telling you, this is what he says, men. Husbands likewise live with your wife, don't run off without them, don't leave them just because they're not what you thought they were going to be, they are not what you think they should be. He says live with them, stay with them, don't run off and leave them, don't divorce them. You need to live with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel. Now this just kills women, but the fact is this is a reality. Women are by nature more emotionally vulnerable than men. Now that's not true one hundred percent, but as a way of life for male and female, this is the way it is, and this has been researched and proven, I'm not even going to go into it. But women, what this says is there's areas where you're weaker, and the men need to give deference to you. And the reason is a man can overpower a woman in many ways. Yes, a woman can do that, but this is what God's dealing with right here is men and saying you need to live with them, you don't need to run off and leave them. They have given their life to you, honor them, give honor to the wife. She is a weaker vessel in many ways than you are. And that doesn't mean they're lame, they're not strong in many ways that we're not. That's not what he's talking about here. Get off of this comparison thing. This is what God says. And he said, We need to honor them men as being heirs together, the grace of life, and if you don't do it, God will not answer your prayers in the way that he would indeed if you were doing what he says. In other words, if you're going to live in disobedience, don't expect God to be answering your prayers. Then he said, Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion one for another. Be tenderhearted, courteous. Now wouldn't this be just wonderful if couples would do this? Yes, we need to be doing this with everybody. Men and women, men honor these women wherever they are, and be good to women. But he's not talking about women in general. He's talking about your wife, and he's talking about those other women that are in the church, your sisters in Christ. Women, he's talking about your husband. This is where it all starts, is in the home. You see, if Christianity doesn't work in your home and in your life at home, then you don't have the real thing. I know that's a bold statement, but I'm just telling you, Christianity, true Christianity shows up the brightest and the clearest and the best with those that you love the most. And if it doesn't work there, then whatever you show to other people, it'd be the same thing if they were around you all the time. You see, who you are really comes out when you're around those people that you love and the people you're around the most. I mean, after a while, who you are is going to come out. And so he says we don't need tip for tap, we don't need evil for evil, reviling one another and being reviled and all of those things. That's what verse eight is talking about. Verse nine is talking about, verse ten is talking about, verse eleven is talking about, verse twelve is talking about all of this has to do with living a life, a godly life in this sin sick, cursed world and the culture and generation in which we're living. For on the way, this is Tony Crisp.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

Thanks for listening to On the Way with Tony Crisp. Tune in every weekday for information on biblical passages, people, places, and prophecies. Fridays are for your questions. Email your questions to questions at TonyCrisp.org, then just listen for your question to be answered on Friday's podcast. That's questions at Tony C R I S P dot org. Thanks for listening and have a blessed day on the way.