“Things I Never Thought I'd Say” with Sam Crane
Host Sam Crane interviews women in music as her special guests. Each episode focuses on a different woman. Sam delves deep and the guests offer up personal testimonies about the challenges they face, their mindset, how they overcame adversity and reflect on what they learned to tackle future challenges.
“Things I Never Thought I'd Say” with Sam Crane
Episode 4: Camilla Ernen, musician and artist
Welcome to the fourth episode of the exciting new podcast, 🎵Things I Never Thought I'd Say🎵 with your host - singer, songwriter, performer and producer Sam Crane.
It's all about women in music and their mindset.
On today's episode, Sam is interviewing Camilla Ernen, a creative being expressing herself primarily through music and art. Camilla is a symphony of life, creativity and authenticity. Living by a beautiful coast in Denmark, Camilla’s narrative unfolds like a song, with each verse revealing deeper truths about her world, where music, architecture and life intertwine. Listen to how she finds joy and purpose in every note of life.
Camilla answers these three questions ...
- Who she is?
- What things she never thought she'd say that she is now saying?
- What challenges she is facing now and how she can apply that winning mindset to overcome them?
Listen to this episode to find out more about Camilla and why she does what she does.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS
[00:05] Life of a Creative Musician
[11:20] Song Receiving and Life Transformations
[16:21] Prioritize Self-Care and Creative Growth
[27:06] Creating a Course for Personal Growth
[32:22] Living Authentically and Embracing Challenges
[42:20] Inspiring Women in Music Podcast Interview
Check out Camilla’s socials:
https://www.facebook.com/camilla.ernen.artist/
https://www.youtube.com/@camillaernen
Check out Camilla's music:
Heaven Right Here
🎵Things I Never Thought I’d Say🎵
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Donate via Buzzsprout 🎁🚀
Connect with Sam Crane:
www.samcrane.com
www.facebook.com/samcranesoul
www.instagram.com/samcranemusic/
twitter.com/samcranemusic
www.youtube.com/samcranesinger
www.tiktok.com/@samcranemusic
Sponsorship:
🌟 Proudly Commissioned and Sponsored by Every Bird Records CIC:
Things I could've done yesterday. I'm doing them today, things I never thought I'd say, things I could've done yesterday I'm doing here on today's podcast with a fellow what would I describe Camilla as so a fellow female musician that I met on Isabel's Home Recording Academy course, and Camilla. I'm very, very excited to have her on because she is, like myself, a singer. She's also a songwriter, performer, producer, soon to be course producer. Is that right?
Speaker 2:I hope so absolutely. Have I missed anything out? Is?
Speaker 1:that good enough to describe you for now? I hope so, absolutely. Have I missed anything out? Is that good enough to describe you for now?
Speaker 2:I love all of it. And artist, let's just drop that in.
Speaker 1:Artist, of course, an amazing, not just a musical artist, but a visual artist as well, with painting. So, yes, so welcome everybody. It's Camilla.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. It is so nice to be here with you oh fabulous.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you. And so, just so that people know a little bit about who you are, please tell them who you are. Tell them about yourself.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, how do I do that? You know, it's 45 years of life experience, but I'm a very creative person. Let's just start there. You know I've always been drawn to music and art, and so that has been like the common thread throughout my life. I come from a musical family, so I was used to everybody just singing four-part harmonies and playing whatever instruments and so on. So it so it's been in my life always. And then, you know, when I was 19, I just bought a ticket, I finished high school and I went to Thailand and I started singing there, and seven years passed with that and then I returned to Copenhagen and got a master's degree in architecture. So now I was, like you know, doing both music and art and loving it, and parallel with all that.
Speaker 2:I was so lucky to meet a wonderful man whom I've spent 19 years with now. Congratulations, thank you. So you know, and we had our two children. So that was like how my entire life was building up to everything I wanted. I say, that's like the whole success story.
Speaker 1:Then we can get into another chapter later well, that kind of gives a bit of background. So so you said Copenhagen, so you're in Denmark, I am in.
Speaker 2:Denmark, yes, and born and bred there and no, I was born in Sweden and then, when I was five, my mother moved my sister and me and herself of course to Central Africa. So we spent three years in Rwanda, and then my mother is originally from Denmark, so I think she wanted to return to Denmark. So we moved to Denmark when I was eight.
Speaker 1:So even by the time of eight you've already moved. What three countries.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1:Supposed to go off to Thailand to a lot of people at 19 seems like a massive adventure, which I'm sure it was to you, but you kind of already had that traveling and adventuring your bones and your blood maybe.
Speaker 2:I think. So you know, when I look back at it now, I'm like 19. What was I thinking? And I went by myself. I don't understand it now, but at that point, well, of course I got to go experience the world and I knew that I didn't want to. Like you know, a lot of people went backpacking, so they would visit a lot of countries within some months, but I felt like I wanted to go to one country and just immerse myself in the culture. So that's what I did. I started at a Thai language school. As soon as I arrived in Bangkok, I started learning Thai and then, to use that language, I applied to a university. It was called Sinlapakorn Fine Art University, so I applied for that university as the only white person, and then I attended their drawing classes, so I could speak with Thai people in Thai language and do something I was passionate about at the same time Amazing.
Speaker 1:So you were over there doing art, but you were singing as well, weren't?
Speaker 2:you. We want to after a few months because I missed singing. I'd been singing my entire life and I just missed it. And a person said well, you know, there are jam sessions around town and I was like you know, I came from Denmark and even speaking English on a daily basis was a new thing.
Speaker 2:So I was like, what's a jam session? And then I started looking up these places and I found the courage to get on stage and try to sing along. And you know, one thing led to another and people started offering me gigs, gigs, and and that became like contracts of a month or three months or six months, where we would be performing six days a week. And then I was like this is it? I always knew I would sing, but I had no idea that it could happen this way, you know yeah so
Speaker 1:yeah, and then I just rolled with it brilliant, and what was your favorite aspect of the music side of things at that time?
Speaker 2:Actually, what comes to mind right now is that I had found my tribe. It was Sam. We were musicians from all over the world just meeting in Bangkok and I think we had so much in common. You know, it's a certain type of people who does that just travel somewhere and starts working and maybe never return home or or just stay there as long as they like it. It's not everybody who does that, but those who do have a lot in common and I just felt I found my tribe. I loved hanging out with all the musicians. I loved the stories we would be telling and the laughter we would share and the energy we shared, and I loved being on stage, you know, six nights a week, just expressing myself through music and living that nightlife. That's all we did. We just we lived at night and we slept all day or or rehearsed, or practiced, but it was all about the music. I loved that.
Speaker 2:That was really it. I loved that. All we did was music you paint such a great picture oh really, I'm like it's so alive for me when I talk about it now, which is not so often I get to talk about it. It's kind of a chapter that just it's many years ago now. But when I talk about it now like, oh my goodness, I'd like to experience a day or two again of that. Yeah, it was special times, that's for sure.
Speaker 1:And I suppose it's a bit like riding a bike. It's something that never leaves you. If you got a gig tomorrow or in a week's time or whatever, you would get back on stage with the same passion and the same energy and the same vibrancy that you had back. Then I can feel that.
Speaker 2:I wish I could say yes, sam. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 1:is that how it is for you, because I know you've been performing so much too, yeah well, we've got so much in common in that respect, because you're such a performer and you just love it and getting the crowd going and all those sort of things and it is. It just takes a life of its own, doesn't it? You're the person that's bringing that, so when you're not on stage, you've still got it, and that's what I sense about you.
Speaker 2:I think what my experience? Well, okay, when, when I was performing six days a week, all year round, many times we were performing at the same venue for that entire contract, so then it would become like just second nature. But when I returned to Denmark and I was lucky to meet new people that I got to play music with on a regular basis, still it was always new for me. I knew I had all that experience and I knew that it always worked. You know, I knew that it always worked when I stepped on stage. It's like I was always nervous before and I was always really, really hoping that I'd be able to serve people and it never just became like something that I know I'm good at this Never never.
Speaker 1:Well, this is it, because it's always a different audience. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:It's always a new situation, it's a new audience, it's a new energy and as a performer, you are the one who has to start the party. You have to bring it and you have to keep bringing it and sometimes you have to persuade people. You know they might, they might not know what they signed up for. Yeah, maybe they've had a bad day or they're going through a tough time and they'll be like a bit guarded, you know, and you have to just keep sharing that love with them until they surrender.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, and I can imagine with you it won't take long, because if anyone's just listening to this, you're going to get completely how the feel of what Camilla's like. But if you actually are watching the video of her on the podcast, you'll see just how animated and smiley and beautiful she is. So, yeah, that energy is coming across and I can just imagine you've been on stage. It's like on steroids, you know. It would be a lot of fun. I'm afraid it is.
Speaker 2:I'm afraid I do probably get a little wild up on stage sometimes, but I love it and I think that's one thing I love so much. It's a place to be absolutely uncensored. You know, you can just express yourself a hundred percent and actually I think that's the beauty of it, because that makes you relatable. That gives people permission to connect to those same emotions. So if you're like overly happy during a song, they get to feel that too. And if you're like extremely sad through another song, because that's what the song is about, they get to connect to those emotions as well. I absolutely love it yeah.
Speaker 1:Wonderful, and you're a songwriter as well. I am, so how did that come about? How did you get into songwriting?
Speaker 2:I think I've always been a songwriter. It was never like a choice. But I'd rather say like I'm a song receiver, because songs just come to me. It's the, it's this really odd thing. You know, my husband would some.
Speaker 1:You know I would come home one day and say oh, I got a new song and I'd play it for him and the next day I'd come home and say I got another new song, let's hear this one.
Speaker 2:And the third day I'd do the same and he'd be like, how does this happen? And I'm like, well, I just walk on the beach and then suddenly I realized, oh, that's a new song. They just come to me when, when I allow myself the space to breathe and be so, if I'm in a shower or I'm on my bike or I'm going for a walk, it's very common that a song just arrives and suddenly I become aware that, oh, it's a new song. And then I'm like, oh, I got to catch this one, so I'll record it on my phone or I'll just jot down if I have some pen and paper nearby, and then, as soon as I can, I'll just sit down. And what can you say? Like allow the rest of the song to come, because it's always, like really done, I always know exactly what the rest of the song to come, because it's always like, really done, I always know exactly what the rest of the song is about. I just have to allow it to channel through me wow, it's a bit of a trip download.
Speaker 2:It's a download, that's what it is, and it just keeps happening. And it's only the last I think maybe 10 years that I became aware that this was something that was always going on and that I just had to go with it and allow for that to be a part of my life so that I would receive the song when it comes found also, it's my way of processing life. So when you know, three years ago what actually happened was I had all these things you know, I was working as an architect, I was still having all my concerts and I was having this beautiful family, but family life was just not working out and we struggled and we try to make it happen, and it was quite clear to me that especially our daughter was really not feeling well, and so I stopped as an architect and I said I'm just going to do everything to get this right. And we found out that she's neurodivergent, so she just doesn't fit into, like the boring boxes of society. And there's really nothing wrong with that. I mean, neurodivergent people are absolutely brilliant and necessary, but the problem is that our society is totally excluding all those people, and so that flipped my world completely upside down, because what do you do when your child doesn't fit in? Then what do you do?
Speaker 2:So that gave me kind of four full-time jobs, 24-7, caring responsibilities and still working with music.
Speaker 2:We have bills to pay and having to learn about neurodivergency I had to gain a lot of new skills and also having to read the law and knocking on doors and breaking down walls and holding people accountable, because I mean, in Denmark we have a society where we say that there's room for everybody, but reality is that there isn't.
Speaker 2:So I was just like thrown into a completely different life and I kept doing it, kept working so hard for years until I burned completely out so that was three years ago and then I had to stop performing because there was nothing left, and so I kind of had to change everything and it became a beautiful shift actually for me. You don't think that when you're at rock bottom, but it it did become a fresh start. I had to find my way back to being healthy and happy and empowered again, so I started putting my focus to that and just learning how to treat myself in a much better way and prioritizing my health and my well-being. So that's really what I've been doing now for three years and then allowing creativity to just become the main part of my life, because that is my source to joy and bliss and curiosity to joy and bliss and curiosity.
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah, so you've overcome quite a lot. I had to deal with quite a lot just recently then, um, looking after your daughter and adjusting to the family life and stripping back from the work that you were doing. Yeah, so that brings us quite nicely into the second part of the podcast, so the actual title. We met, obviously, on the Home Recording Academy course with Isabel Anderson, who's absolutely amazing, and we've had her as a guest on the podcast as well Things I never thought I'd say. What is it that you can now do that in the past you weren't able to do and you can now do?
Speaker 2:And also as well. What advice would you give to someone who is wanting to do one of those things? Oh, wow. What comes to mind is this Follow your bliss. That's really like the main thing. Follow your bliss. Do not end up only having chores and duties on your to-do list. You will never survive them. That is a huge thing. So I think what I never thought I'd be able to just say is that I prioritize my own well-being over, I'd say, almost everything now, and that sounds like such a selfish thing, right.
Speaker 1:Don't you shake your head? Well, to me it kind of does.
Speaker 2:But you know, I had to realize that I can't be anything for anybody if I don't take care of myself. That is, you know, and nobody can take care of me. That is my job. So I really had to learn that's what I do first, and so that is actually what I navigate from now. I you know the old strategies of pushing through and soldiering on and working hard that used to serve me before. I just don't do it anymore. It's not my path anymore. Now I like I check in with myself. I'm like what do I really want to do? What is really meaningful? How can I really contribute with something of value? And that's what I check in with all the time. And then I just go with what my heart tells me. Oh, that sounds like so hippie, but it's.
Speaker 1:That's really how I do it now it sounds really empowering and really fun and really light and really enjoyable it is, and it's hard work too, you know, because so many things will pull you in another direction.
Speaker 2:I think in modern society, you will all the time be told, no, you got to work hard, you got to create results and you got to be efficient and you got to have goals all the time. And I think, yeah, part of that is right. But you definitely like we have one precious life, right. You definitely like we have one precious life, right. This might be our last day, so we also have to really make the most of it, spend time with the people we love, prioritize making time for activities that really nourish our soul, and I think in my situation, what I do now is much better than what I've done before. We'll have to see what happens, but, like the art I make now, the drawings I make now are, I find, so much more interesting than what I did five years ago.
Speaker 2:And the songs I've been writing you, you know, or receiving. I love that During this, these three years of getting well again. They're like about subjects that I find so interesting and I see so many people struggling with not having good enough boundaries or having to learn how to let go of some stuff, or forgiving some people or being grateful for the good that is always there as well. All those subjects I'm like. I can't wait to sing about that. So I really think that when we take the time to check in with ourselves and be present in life, what we create from there has much more value than if we're constantly focusing on where we got to get to five years from now. So, yes, it's fun because I prioritize putting joyful activities into my everyday life, but it's also hard because I have to let go of. I don't know how fast I'm going to get to where I'd like to go. I just have to do it in a healthy and steady way, and that's difficult for an impatient person like me.
Speaker 1:That's so cool. So it's looking after yourself and making sure that you're sorted, and then from that place you can do, be, have whatever you want.
Speaker 2:even when challenges then arrive or you're insecure or you have to, like, take uncomfortable action, it always makes sense because you are like following your bliss, you're pursuing your passion, you're actually living exactly the life you want to live. So I think we get some strength from being on the right path.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so, with regards to what advice would you give a friend? It would probably just be from what you're saying Look after yourself, put yourself first, feel good, and then from that place you can go forward it's also do the work.
Speaker 2:You know it's not like take another drink. You know it's not that. It's do the work like. You know it's not the quick fixes oh, make sure you travel even more abroad. Or you know it's not about that. It's about about doing the work, getting to know yourself. If you need help, get help. If you need rest, prioritize rest. If you feel depleted and overwhelmed, start nourishing yourself.
Speaker 2:Like, really be serious about that, just as serious as we are when we have some external boss demanding things. We will work ourselves to the bones right, but we have to get as serious about following our bliss. We have to really say this is not negotiable. My joy, my happiness, my well-being, it's not negotiable. I'm going to really put in the work. So it's work, but it's worth it, yes. So that's what I would say definitely to anybody Don't underestimate the importance of your well-being and prioritizing time for your passions and whatever makes you truly feel good.
Speaker 2:Don't just like think oh, one day, when the kids are grown and everything is sorted, then I'm gonna, then I'll have time for me. No, no, no. Now. Now is the time. So that's one thing. Another thing I'd say is keep growing, keep learning new skills, keep educating yourself. I think sometimes we think we think, oh, I studied back in school and then I took an education and now it's all work. I'm like, no, just keep expanding your world. There's so much out there that we can just reach out and grab it, yeah. So if you're curious about anything, go learn about it. That's another thing I say that has been so invigorating for me.
Speaker 2:That's why I joined the Home Recording Academy too, where we met Sam, and you were such an inspiration because you were the ambassador when I enrolled, so you had been through it already and you were in the process of releasing your awesome album. I really relate also to. You had this song album. I really relate also to. You had this song what's it called? What's Not to Love, and you sing about why is it that you actually sing? And you're standing there with your guitar and you say something about it ain't about the money and it ain't about the fame, something like that. And I was like, oh, I get that, sam, I get that. It was never about that.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, that's why I enrolled in Home Recording Academy. It was because I wasn't performing anymore. I did not have the energy, I could not be in like loud environments like that. I had to just be still and regain my energy kept coming to me. So I was like what do I do? And then, you know, this ad pops up and it's Isabel Anderson explaining that, oh, you can just set up your home recording studio and learn how to record and produce your own music. And I had actually, several years prior to that, I had been co-working with a great musician in Canada, so we were Skyping and sending tracks back and forth, so I had already invested in some of that recording gear. So when that ad came, I was like, oh, of course that's it. Now I can get going with my own music and just do it in my own time, and however it works with my life circumstances.
Speaker 1:And that's the thing about learning skills. So once you learn it, you can apply it to. It's not just about recording your own music and record other people's music, but learning that mindset of I can do this really helps with so many other aspects.
Speaker 2:Yeah that's it Once. You see, oh wait, you know I'm 45 and I'm like, but I can learn how to record my music. Well, what else could I learn? And that's an amazing time we live in, because you could just go on the Internet and there will be some awesome course for anything you know. You can just sit in the comfort of your own home and study whatever you want or need to learn. I mean, that's just amazing.
Speaker 1:It really is Talking of awesome courses. Oh, leads us on quite nicely to the third part, but before we go into the third part, about what challenges you're going through, so you are going to be releasing some of your own work and courses, if I'm right in thinking, in 2024. Please tell us about that.
Speaker 2:Well, it's really crazy to sit and talk about this because nothing has been realized yet, but it's been brewing within me for a long time. So one thing I know is I want to share all these many songs that have been coming to me, and I'm already planning an album of 12 original songs. Fantastic will be called 117 steps, because that's actually how I decided that I would get better.
Speaker 2:I said how am I gonna get up from rock bottom? And I had to, like, decide a time frame that I would commit to working on myself and that just became 117 days. So I called it 117 steps and that will be the name of the album. So I will be working on that and releasing that at some point. And then I will be working on my art and be able to share that also at some point. And then you know, over several years people have said, when the whole family situation is sorted and the right help is finally in place, then you should be out teaching other people how to deal with those different circumstances and I've been saying like, oh no, when that's sorted, I'm done, I'm just going to be creative again.
Speaker 2:But a few months ago I just realized that it's a jungle when you're at rock bottom and you don't know how to get up and you want to find a way. I just grabbed into like my toolbox as an architecture so I was just researching everything because I like to research and study, and then I would just test and try everything. And I was lucky enough to have time to do that and my husband stepped in and took over a lot of the responsibility for the family, so I had time to do it. But not everybody is fortunate enough to have those circumstances, enough to have those circumstances, and it just struck me that I want to put all this knowledge together with easy to apply tools and strategies to just begin from day one to rebuild yourself and, you know, make those incremental changes, day by day that will shift you from burning out to building the best version of yourself. Amazing, I'm on fire about that idea now.
Speaker 2:I'm like, oh my goodness, I can't wait to put this course together and be able to help people that way, those who want it.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, and this is the thing as well, because when you've gone through it yourself, you know you've got so many resources within you, you know what to share, you know what it feels like, you know you're on the other side of it and you can help people at any stage of that journey to get from where they are to where you now are, which is such a better place, and you do it in a really kind, compassionate way. So I'm really excited about this course that you're going to be bringing out.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Sam.
Speaker 2:Me too, and I think I now realize how valuable this can be, because I never found like a holistic package like that, and I've been researching high and low, I've been reading about everything and anything that can add to healing, you know, but I never came across like an easy to do, easy to understand, step-by-step guidance of how do you get started. And also because I'm very visual and as an architect, you know, I learned to like make those little pictograms that are easy to understand. So I would definitely, you know, visualize this, which is probably also helpful, instead of just bullet points. You know, when you're overwhelmed or you're stressed out or anxious or depressed or you know all those things, you just can't be bothered to read a million bullet points, so I'd find another way to do it.
Speaker 1:So it's, it will be, yeah, a pleasant experience for those who need it and also as well, because you're talking about coming from a visual point of view, but you'll also be coming from it from an audio point of view because of your music. And then you've got the intellect, because there's all the different senses and the feeling, the emotions, because as a woman, I know that you are very emotional. I mean that in a very kind, caring way, because we all are as musicians. So you're kind of coming at it from all different ways, not just the visual, not just the audio, not just the feeling, but the the intellect as well.
Speaker 2:So I can see this being a very, very, very important course, but also really well structured, and the people that listen to it and follow it will be able to get different things from it what I would, would work towards, and nothing could make me more happy if my experiences which have not been easy, I'll be honest about that I felt like such a failure and the road back was long and hard, but worth it, I'm like. Although not everything is solved, I'm feeling better than ever, like I am so true to myself now. I am so grounded, I know exactly what I want to spend my time doing, and that is such a blessing. So if that journey can help somebody else, that would just be so worth it. Definitely, yeah.
Speaker 2:So but I think that would be the third thing that I finished, because first I've got to get the art and the music out there, you know so yeah, oh, wonderful.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, we're just coming up to the last part of this podcast here with Camilla Ernan, and she's been talking about her road back to being the best version of herself and from what you said about yourself before, that sounded like a great version during the performing and you know the architect and living this life and you've done a lot in a short space of time, yeah, and then, obviously, the challenges you've gone through, and then a lot of people at that stage could have been like no, I can't take it, and it would have floored them. You didn't do that. You picked yourself up. You dusted yourself down, worked hard, worked out what you needed to do, got the help, got the inner resources and saw a better life for yourself and your family, which is amazing. And now you want to help other people do the same.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah and it's really just like unfolding. You know it's. I'm just allowing these things to unfold and I listen to what, what I feel called to do and you know it takes a lot of courage because I have absolutely no idea like where will I be a year or five years from now.
Speaker 2:but that has been one of my main things to learn is to just be present, just be right here and listen to what I'm called to do and then keep working on it. But it is crazy to live like that and insist on that tempo and that progress.
Speaker 1:But it feels right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you're kind of going against the grain of what society expects you to do, tells you to do. And I think we have to, because when we look at society, I'm like, well, all the alarms are like blinking right. Everybody is burning out, everybody is stressed, everybody is getting divorced. It's not like society seems to be working the way we do it right now. I think, also for many of us, we we have to go through some crisis before we are ready to find another way, right? If not, then we'll just like struggle on and keep doing the same things and we'll say I just gotta work a little harder and hold on a little longer.
Speaker 2:No, you got to try a different way. That's my experience.
Speaker 1:This last part of the podcast, where you talk about whatever challenges or struggles or difficulties or whatever you might be going through now. How can you use your own mindset and what you've already learned about yourself and the way you deal with things to approach what you're going through now? How can you use your own mindset and what you've already learned about yourself and the way you deal with things to approach what you're going through now?
Speaker 2:that's a great question. So I think I'll have to listen back to this podcast to remind myself of all those things, because you know, once you're like forced to slow down, you'll have like super focus on what to do now to get well and heal and be strong again. But where I am now, where I'm like, ok, I got it. Now I have to work so hard on not falling back to the old habits. Now I have to really be very focused on saying no. All the things that have brought me this far and have helped me feel this good, that's what I'm going to continue with. So that's what I do. I just stick to the strategies that I've applied, things like yoga and meditation and a nap when needed, and time spent in nature and prioritizing music and art. You know, all those things that have helped me come to this point.
Speaker 2:I have to keep doing it and you know you'll be like, wow, it's easy, that's cozy stuff, yeah, but it takes discipline still. That's cozy stuff, yeah, but it takes discipline still. So that's what I have to apply, that and remind myself. This is not like a temporary thing out of a crisis. It is a new way of living, you know. It's a new way for me to be in this world. It's so much better. Like I said, I feel better than ever before because I'm grounded in a different way. Like you said before, I've had a life that you know. Sometimes I look at it and I'm like, well, I've lived seven lives already. So, you know, I think it's about time that I learned to live at another pace. And you know, remember the breaks and so on. That is what I'm focusing on now, and then actually, things like this being open about where I'd like to go and what I'd like to do. So I also hold myself accountable.
Speaker 2:So that I don't end up saying, oh no, I better just get the bills paid, so I'll take this job that I have absolutely no interest in, so that I just get by. I'm like, no, these other things are calling for me so strongly. So by saying it now, before anything has been realized, is really you know, it holds me accountable it's things like when people are losing weight.
Speaker 1:Being overweight is hard, but doing the work to lose weight is hard. Choose your hard. Yeah, exactly, choose your hard, because either way, it's hard.
Speaker 2:That's exactly it. Picking yourself up from rock bottom, oh that is hard. Staying there, you know, you don't want to do that. So you might as well begin to do the work, build yourself up. It can only get better, and the good news is it will get better. You can't apply all those beautiful things and not start to get better, so that's the beauty of it and the other thing as well.
Speaker 1:Once you've done that, you haven't just helped yourself or your immediate family.
Speaker 2:You are now going to be able to help other people right and I truly hope to do that on a bigger scale, because I also realized I've been doing that for years. I've always been someone people would call. I still am. I still have beautiful people in my life who will reach out to me when they just want to talk about a certain thing or have my input or feedback about something.
Speaker 1:So I just realized, well, I do this already because I can't help but preach about all those things that I find are so valuable.
Speaker 2:So you probably already got it. I could speak about those things for days. Got it, I could speak about those things for days, so I might as well put some work into it and make it something that can be of value for others as well.
Speaker 1:And I can't wait to see when all this comes out. And yeah, it's gonna be incredible because from the time that I've known you, you've always been this bright, shining, positive person on the screen. You know, on the zoom calls, and then obviously we're doing the podcast. When I was knew I was going to do the podcast, I was like I really want to get you as a guest on this because I mean you're welcome. But I I knew you would bring that energy to our listeners and I didn't even know half of the stuff that you've been through.
Speaker 1:So I only saw this shining, wonderful, happy person and the fact that you can be like that despite everything going on. So it just shows that it's down to your temperament, and you know some people I mean everyone goes through difficulties. It's it's not the fact you go through it, it's how you deal with it. Right, it is challenging for us, but it's finding that inner strength, dusting yourself down, picking yourself up, getting back on the horse again effectively, and you've been helping other people and you are now going to be helping more people. It is just so inspiring, it's so impressive and you know you deserve all the success you really do well, thank you so much.
Speaker 2:I'm really, at this part, like where I've gotten to now. I'm so happy that all this happened to me. I wouldn't change a thing because, yeah, I've always space to that side of me now because I had to go deep. I had to get much more honest about the dark sides of life as well, and I actually like that, because now I'm much more of a full person. You know, yeah, I have, I've reconnected to the bubbly side again, but I also have all all the depth that I dare to talk about now.
Speaker 2:I think we have to embrace all those ups and downs. And, like you said, sam, everybody gets something, everybody goes through something. So we might as well be honest about it and help each other and share those stories so that nobody has to feel alone when they go through it.
Speaker 1:That's incredible. So for our listeners, who want to find out more about you and listen to your music and see your art, where can they?
Speaker 2:find you. I got a YouTube channel with a few songs on, but nothing of the sort that I would like to share from now on, but that will come, so you can always look at my YouTube channel. It's just my name, camilla Ernan, and I also have two Facebook pages the same name, camilla Ernan, so I think if anybody wants to follow, just find me there, and whenever I'm ready to share more of these things, I will definitely announce it there, and I will be so happy to have somebody to share it with. You know that, sam, it's easier to have a song and then have somebody to sing it too right, yeah, no, fantastic.
Speaker 1:We'll put all the details in the show notes so people can actually find you and connect with you. But it's been absolutely brilliant just having you here talking. I mean this has been lovely just chatting with you, the fact we absolutely brilliant just having you here talking. I mean this has been lovely just chatting with you, the fact we can do it on a podcast and it's going to help our listeners because they're going to be listening to you inspired by your story and it's been so powerful. So, thank you so much hey, my honor.
Speaker 2:I'm so, so grateful that you invited me here, and next time I'm going to interview you, sam, because I know you've got so many good stories too absolutely so.
Speaker 1:Is there any last words that you want to share with our listeners before we we wrap this podcast up?
Speaker 2:oh yes, I want to say go listen to Sam's music. She is awesome. And I also want to say to everybody live your life, don't wait for tomorrow, don't wait for everything to be fixed. Just start now. Do something that makes you happy and makes you feel good. Be your own best friend. That's what I want to say.
Speaker 1:Wow, that is brilliant. I absolutely love that and thank you so much for being on this podcast, camilla. Hey, camilla, my pleasure. What a beautiful lady and what a wonderful vision. Thank you so much, camilla, for sharing your story, challenges and how you are overcoming and giving back. Did you enjoy this episode? I really hope so and I'd love to hear your comments. Make sure to subscribe to find out more about this amazing podcast featuring inspiring women in music and sponsored by. Thank you so much for listening. I'm your host, sam Crane. Enjoy the rest of your day. Hey, hey, hey. Things I couldn't do yesterday.
Speaker 2:I do them there today, things I never thought I'd say. Hey, hey, hey.