“Things I Never Thought I'd Say” with Sam Crane
Host Sam Crane interviews women in music as her special guests. Each episode focuses on a different woman. Sam delves deep and the guests offer up personal testimonies about the challenges they face, their mindset, how they overcame adversity and reflect on what they learned to tackle future challenges.
“Things I Never Thought I'd Say” with Sam Crane
BONUS Episode - Part 1: Sam Crane, Singer, Songwriter and Producer
Welcome to Part 1 of 2 of the BONUS episode of the exciting new podcast, 🎵Things I Never Thought I'd Say🎵 with your host - singer, songwriter, performer and producer Sam Crane.
It's all about women in music and their mindset.
On today's exciting twist episode, guest host Anita Abram from Every Bird Records interviews the incredibly talented Sam Crane. Sam has been interviewing our amazing guests, and now it’s her turn to tell her inspiring story. Sam, an international Singer, Songwriter and Producer takes us on a journey through her musical evolution and the personal challenges she faced along the way. You won’t want to miss this!
Sam answers these three questions ...
- Who she is?
- What things she never thought she'd say that she is now saying?
- What challenges she is facing now and how she can apply that winning mindset to overcome them?
Listen to this episode to find out more about Sam and why she does what she does.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS
[0:01] Sam Crane's Musical Journey
[10:04] Musical Evolution and Personal Challenges
[19:49] Music as a Safe Haven
[27:27] Overcoming Childhood Challenges Through Creativity
[34:40] Finding Belonging in Music Community
Check out Sam’s music:
Allowing Love
What’s Not To Love
Where I Am Meant To Be
🎵Things I Never Thought I’d Say🎵
We warmly invite you to subscribe to our website everybirdrecords.uk and join our Facebook Member Group
Donate via Buzzsprout 🎁🚀
Connect with Sam Crane:
www.samcrane.com
www.facebook.com/samcranesoul
www.instagram.com/samcranemusic/
twitter.com/samcranemusic
www.youtube.com/samcranesinger
www.tiktok.com/@samcranemusic
Sponsorship:
🌟 Proudly Commissioned and Sponsored by Every Bird Records CIC:
Things I could've done yesterday. I'm doing them today, things I never thought I'd say, things I could Thought I'd Say with Sam Crane. And surprise, surprise, I am not Sam Crane. I'm actually guest hosting this bonus episode because we're going to hear from the woman herself. Sam is sitting in the hot seat today with me, anita Abram from Every Bird Records. I am the person who sponsored the podcast and we're going to hear all about her. So, sam, welcome. Thank you for coming on the podcast as a guest. How's it feel?
Speaker 2:It feels so strange, but it feels good and I'm glad that it's you here helping me and guiding me with these questions that I've been helping and guiding people through for the last six episodes. It feels very strange, but it's a good experience.
Speaker 1:And you've given me some really good tips as well, which I'm most grateful for. So, sam Crane, I'm just going to introduce you, if I may. She is a singer, songwriter, performer, producer, she's a TV extra. She's just an amazing all-round talent. There's nothing that she can't turn her hand to, frankly, including podcast hosts, recently radio host. Is that right? It is actually yes.
Speaker 2:Have I missed anything? No, I think that's my head's big enough as it is, so let's stick with that, shall we?
Speaker 1:Let's stick with that and move on. So the first part of this podcast is about your journey. The first part of this podcast is about your journey.
Speaker 2:So let's hear it. Let's hear about your journey so far. What brought you to music? What do you want to tell us? What do you want our listeners to hear about you? The Wow, okay.
Speaker 2:So I've been thinking about how I was going to explain myself, especially having listened to all the other amazing, incredible guests that I've had and how honest and open they've been of sharing their stories. So, before we even get started, I just want to say a massive thank you to them, because they have made this podcast an absolute success and I really appreciate the guests we've had and their honesty and openness. And I'll just do some shout outs, because I might get into my story and then completely forget about this at the end. So, if I can just go through, obviously we had yourself, anita, on the first episode Absolutely amazing and then, after your episode, we had Isabel Anderson, episode two. Episode three, we had Rosie Banz, episode four was Camilla Ernan, episode five, sarah J Hawley and episode six was Michelle Escoffrey. Thank you to all of those ladies, thank you for the people listening, and behind the scenes, we've got Brian, pete and Evie as well. So thank you to all of you people. I just want to say that before I get into where I'm at.
Speaker 2:So now, what got me to do music? It's quite a kind of weird story. So before I get into the weird story of how I got into it, talking about the things I've done, so I always want to be a singer. I think deep down I always wanted to be a singer and the reason I wanted to be a singer was I remember watching Top of the Pops when I was about five. I don't have many childhood memories, to be fair, but when I was about five my mum would get myself, my brother and my sister up and to dance in front of Top of the Pops. And probably one of the earliest memories I've got of music, there was this black woman on Top of the Pops with long black hair and she was dancing wildly and singing loudly. She just had this absolute presence and I thought, wow, I didn't think that's what I want to do when I'm older. I just thought wow, and it was Tina Turner. So that was my first ever memory.
Speaker 2:And then, as far as my music journey is concerned, I have done so many things, like you mentioned so kindly in the introduction there, anita. So I've sang solo and I've sang in duos and I've sang in trios and I've sang in bands and doing that music has taken me, I was going to say, all the way around the world. It's taken me to Australia and back. So I suppose that is kind of around the world. And I'd started that journey late twenties, early thirties. And how that came about was when I was working at a call center in my twenties had no idea what the heck I was going to do with my life. I was just drifting from job to job, working in a call center, going out drinking, probably every single night, to be perfectly honest with you, because I didn't know what the heck I was doing. And that was my release. That's where I met my friend Susie, who's now over in Australia.
Speaker 2:And one of these nights, when I was out drinking, I got up and sang a karaoke, like I probably did a few times, and someone said to me why are you working in a call center? Why are you not singing for a living? It was a light bulb moment above my head. I didn't think it was possible. I thought you are either a bedroom singer or Madonna. I thought there's nothing in between it, because I had no understanding of any of this stuff. I had no understanding about life. I just knew that basically I had to earn some money to pay my rent and if I had some money left over for food and drink, then I was quite flush. It was really basic thoughts about what life was about, and so it planted a seed. It did take years to get to the point that was even doing it, but that was the first time that seed got planted and I would say I was around about 26, 28 at that age and I would say I was around about 26, 28 at that age.
Speaker 2:And then I joined a band and this function band where we would sing funks, weddings and things maybe, yeah, weddings and parties and birthdays and holiday parks, and we used to go up and down the motorway. We'd drive in this van for four hours to get to a gig and pass vans on the way up the motorway coming from down south, coming up to Leeds. It was insane. I'm thinking why are we driving four hours to get to a gig down south when we could do gigs in our area? But that's how it was and I did that for about a year and a half and I cut my teeth in performing in that band.
Speaker 2:There was a lot of challenges, there was a lot of stuff that went on, but the main thing for me was I learned to sing and perform in front of an audience. I learned how to set up a microphone and how to wrap the leads and all those sort of important things that you need to know that you are performing. You need to wrap those leads up that's really important and put the velcro around to make sure they stay all good and everything. So I did that and then I left that decided singing is definitely my thing. So I then got some backing tracks and went out singing with backing tracks around the workingmen's clubs. So did two years of that. So if the band had taught me how to perform on stage or sing live on gigs doing the working men's clubs, that taught me how to crowd control. You've got an audience there of people that just are there to play bingo or go for the meat raffle or to get drunk with a mate. They're kind of really not there to listen to the music. Some of them are. If the turn's good they will go and listen to the music, but if you show any any fear, they will have your life and I remember they're not going to beat me. I am going to learn how to do this. So I learned how to work an audience and how to, when they were a bit boisterous, how to calm them down and, when they weren't giving you anything, how to g them up. And it was blooming hard work but it was a great experience.
Speaker 2:Two years I did that and then from that I wanted to do something. What I thought was a bit cooler. In fact, I had a stage name. When I did that, my stage name was Tia Simone. So my favorite people is exactly. So my favorite tipple is Tia Maria. I thought I can't call myself Tia Maria because that's just ridiculous. And then I thought Tia Turner, there, that doesn't quite work. And I played around with a few different names and Nina Simone, tia Simone, that's where that came from. So you've got the Tia Maria and the Nina Simone and while I was doing this I kind of created this persona of. It was a bit like Shirley Bassey, with the pizzazz and as if she's glamorous and stuff, but the coolness of Beyonce. So Tia Simone existed just to be this fabulous person on stage.
Speaker 2:So I did that for a couple of years with the Workingmen's Clubs, got an agent to do that. They're the gigs he got, which is why I did the Workingmen's Clubs. And then I thought, well, I don't want to do this for the rest of my life, I want to do other stuff. So I wanted to do acoustic gigs. So I thought, if I get myself a guitarist and then I can just sit there and look good on a chair and sing these songs. So that was the plan. But what I found was for me to find a guitarist who was reliable, who was good, who wanted to do the stuff I wanted to do. They were few and far between, in fact. I didn't find one. So I thought, well, if I'm going to do this, I'll have to learn to play the guitar myself. And that's how that came about. So I'm like mid-30s at this stage, learning to play the guitar. So I had to cut my nails down. And you play guitar, anita, so you know the pain I do, yeah.
Speaker 1:The pain, the calluses, yes, calluses. And can I ask, were you at this time mainly doing covers, or were you already doing your own songs at this point with the working men's clubs? And then, when you moved on to the acoustic sets, was it still covers or were you transitioning then into your own music?
Speaker 2:Great question. Yeah, so I wrote my first song at the age of 14. And I was doing covers because that's all I knew to do, because I thought that's what the audience wanted to hear. But prior to joining the function band, I put a band together of original music. We did some gigs together and then that band changed. The first band I had was Purple Desire, because my favorite color is purple. So we had a band called Purple Desire. We did some gigs then and then that changed to Sam's Thang. That was a four piece, and then that changed to Soul Fireang. That was a four piece and then that changed to Soul Fire, which was a five piece. And we went out and played in some clubs, in not workmen's clubs but actual venues, played in Newcastle, we played in Birmingham and we played in Leeds. We even played the Hi-Fi in Leeds, which to me is a cool, cool venue. So I played there with the band, actually with Sam's Thang, I played there and with Soul Fire. So I played in these cool venues.
Speaker 2:But because I needed to make money I didn't want to be doing the call center or an office job I did the covers for the money, which was brilliant because it taught me a lot, but the actual music that I wanted to do. I had no idea how to turn that into a livelihood, so that was kind of like my passion project and that changed over time. So I ended up then going to do Soul. Fire from the five piece became a duo and we bass player myself at this stage I'm now playing guitar. In fact, it took me four months to learn to play the guitar and then from that. This is mad, isn't it? But I am the sort of person when I want to do something I will throw myself into it to make it happen.
Speaker 2:So I started off going to open mic nights and there's a place called the Grove in Leeds which is really, really chilled out and it's totally acoustic. You don't plug into anything. And I told myself that every week I went on the Wednesday I would have a new song, a new original, a new cover. So I already had a lot of songs written. So I would practice on the guitar how to play an original song and how to play a cover. And I did that for four months and it was the scariest thing ever, but I kept on going each week and then by four months I had a repertoire of originals I could play and covers I could play, went to another open mic night and I played there and they said you're really good, do you want to start hosting this open mic night? And I'm like okay.
Speaker 2:And then what happened was the agent that was dealing with that place. There was a nightclub in Leeds at the time called Oceana, and he said I'm getting acoustic guitarists to go in and play in the chill out room and would you want to be our first acoustic singer guitarist? I'm like okay. And so he said can't do any originals, it has to be just covers. So I had two weeks to learn another 12 songs. I said I can't remember how many, but it was a lot of songs. To then go and play in this chill out bar and I was petrified, absolutely petrified. I'm so used to working a crowd and everything, but to sing and play at the same time was a totally different thing. And the first song that I played was Natural Woman, which I don't know how I managed to do because it's got bar chords in it. So I must have been insane to the first song to do with this venue and this drunken crowd of people that come from the dance floor to the chill out room. Can I just rewind?
Speaker 1:you were very nervous. That's really surprising to me, because everything you've told us about so far seems like you've got a lot of experience of performing and then the nerves are around the singing and playing at the same time, or is it the acoustic? Where are the nerves coming from at this point, if you can remember?
Speaker 2:I could physically play guitar, but I thought I'm not good enough to carry the song, carry the performance, because I'd worked with musicians, I'd listened to backing tracks, and now it's just me and the guitar, and it was really scary. In fact, for the next year and a half I was kind of thinking I'm rubbish at this, even though I got asked back for gigs. I was getting paid for gigs. I'm rubbish at this. But anyway, getting back to that very, very first time, playing got to the chorus of Natural Woman, which is a song by Aretha Franklin, and everyone was singing along and it was wow, I thought I can do this. So then I just ended up singing and playing guitar, even went busking in Leeds City Centre, just was out there, and I started hosting open mic nights, and that snowballed.
Speaker 2:And then, like I said, myself and the bass player from the band Soulfire, we then went abroad, so took it to Ayia Napa. They had a duo and we were playing all this kind of pop, soul, funk, groove stuff, did a season in Ayia Napa, we did a ski resort in France, we went over to Australia on a cruise ship and did season there. So at each stage though for all that you're saying about the nerves, I was nervous as hell, but I think I got used to performing. As soon as I was on stage it left me. It's like you do all this background stuff so that when you're doing the performance, you just go into the performance and, yeah, I had a great time.
Speaker 1:Well prepared. It sounds like you were really well prepared.
Speaker 2:Definitely, but it's the hours and hours and hours behind. I tell you, another trick that I used to do was when I used to practice a guitar, sing and play. I would practice with the TV on, so you've got the distraction of the picture in front of you and you're singing and playing, and I would make sure that I could sing and play a song three times in a row without making a mistake with the tv on, because I know that it's a really good idea. I don't even know how I came up with this, but really good, yeah. So that's my advice to anyone out there that's thinking of doing something similar.
Speaker 2:It's a lot of hard work, but it means that when you're then in front of an audience and there's something going on in front of you or I've had people come over to me while I'm in the middle of a song, going, do you know where the toilets are? I, without missing a beat, will go just over there, mate, and then carry on to a song. Or to say, do I look like I'd know that I'm in the middle of something? Or whatever, you know, depending how cocky I was feeling, but yeah, so I got used to just whatever was going on dealing with it. So each time I played at different place, I'm taking more experience. So playing on the cruise ships around Australia was absolutely fantastic. And then I ended up coming back to Leeds and moving to London so I've moved about so much with my music and the plan was to find the gold on the streets of London. There is none. Yes, that's true. I remember Rosie Vann saying that as well. There's no gold on the streets of London.
Speaker 1:A lot of hard work.
Speaker 2:It is. It's very, very hard work. It's a hard place to go to if you don't know people, if you don't know what you're doing. So I came from a small northern town, so for me to move to Leeds, which is my home base, was a massive big jump. And then to go from Leeds to London, it was a bigger jump again. I thought it would just be like it's a bigger Leeds, but it's not. It's a London is its own beast. I spent four years there, most of the time working in office jobs. I hated. This is after doing all the music. I then went back to doing office jobs and I'm thinking, no, don't make me do this. And what I ended up doing was I was just having this crazy wild time drinking too much, partying too much, doing the tiny little bits of music I could do, and it got to a point of four years that I ended up doing an office job. I absolutely hated. I was working part time and it was just enough to cover the rent.
Speaker 1:I thought, no, I'm gonna have to stop this. So I decided to stop drinking for a year, which, if anyone knows me, I like a tipple.
Speaker 2:Right, you do like a tipple, I do, and you know I don't tipple together. We have, and it's been fun, and we will do it again later, I hope so. I'm looking forward to that. So, yeah, so I like a tipple.
Speaker 2:So for me to stop drinking for a year seemed like the craziest thing in the world to me and to everyone else who knew me. But I thought, in order for me to get back on track with myself and with my music, something has to give, and I think the drinking is getting out of hand and the partying is getting out of hand and I'm not focusing. So I decided to stop drinking for a year, and in that time I did get back to singing. So I went on a ferry from Hull to Zeebrugge, first of all in a duo and then as a singer guitarist, and then that took me to living in Belgium, which is a whole other story which I'm not going to get into now and I spent two years living in Belgium doing the music and building it from the ground level back up again. So that then takes us to when we got into the pandemic and lockdown.
Speaker 2:So I'm living in Belgium and performing, and then things go horribly wrong, as they did for a lot of people, and I had no money. I had to get out of where I was living and I had nowhere to go. So someone who knew of me in Ireland where I performed and headlined a festival over there when I was living and I had nowhere to go. So someone who knew of me in Ireland where I performed and headlined a festival over there when I was living in London. No matter how all these roads lead back to all these places where you go off, they all come back to the same place in some ways. So I ended up being stranded in rural Ireland in the lockdown, in the pandemic, and then managed to get myself back to Leeds, and so that's a really kind of I'm trying to do a quick overview of how I've ended up back in Leeds and how I've ended up now doing my original music, which is how I then met you.
Speaker 1:Yes, I think we're all up to date now and that was amazing. I mean, there was so much there to unpack and I think just I need to take a breath now, because we're now going to move into the next part of the interview. If you're ready, are you ready? I think I am. Yeah, are you? Is there anything else? I don't need to say that you've missed anything, or is there anything else you'd like to say about that first section?
Speaker 2:the bit that I've missed out about that story is, in some ways, the the tragic part of it, and I do want to address it. So if I can just spend a bit of time on that before we get into the next section and the reason I feel able to actually tell my story now is having listened to all the other amazing, inspiring women who have been on this podcast yourself included, anita who have shared parts of their story and parts of their journey, and it's given me courage to share my part. So what I haven't yet mentioned is that, growing up, physically everything was fine I had a roof over my head, I lived in a big house in a small town and had clothes on my back. My mum used to make clothes for us and then she taught me how to make my own clothes and I love sewing even now and everything was great from a physical point of view, but from an emotional point of view, my needs were not getting met.
Speaker 2:I was brought up in a household where I felt very, very unsafe and very, very scared and to try and explain how that feels is, you're kind of always in fight or flight or freeze mode. So because of how my parents were brought up and how they got together and their family unit. That's their story, but my story is within my own family spent a lot of time in isolation and I got sent to my room a lot and this is how the music came about. So I was brought up in the 70s and the 80s like yourself, benita. We're the same. We're exactly the same age, actually, born the same year, exactly.
Speaker 1:We're a good vintage, very good vintage, and I'm glad that you were born in that year. I think it was a good time to be born. In terms of music as well, I think the culture was very different and the expectation, particularly around girls and around what things were appropriate, it was very much more. Don't lead your dreams, but follow what your parents are telling you in those days. So was that kind of the situation, or was it something?
Speaker 2:more. It was that and so much more really was. If it was just we're not going to support you in your dreams, that would have been bad enough. There was a lot going on, but enough for me to say I did not feel emotionally safe in my own home and because, as well, I'm a mixed race person, a woman of color, dual heritage, whatever you want to call it there's so many labels that it's been over time. But basically I was always the black face in the community where I was, so I didn't look the same as everyone when I left the house. I didn't feel the same as everyone when I left the house, and then I felt very, very scared in the house. So growing up was a really tough time for me.
Speaker 2:But I grew up in a time where there was no internet, there was no social media, there was no telly in your bedroom, but there was a radio, and so when I used to get sent to my bedroom we're talking about 12, 14 years old I used to sit and cry and then listen to the music on the radio. I felt safe when I heard music. When I heard the songs and the music, I felt safe. I felt there was somewhere, I belonged, and I remember growing up, thinking when I grew up, I just want to have a genuine reason to smile. That was it. I had no plans of anything. I just wanted to have a genuine reason to smile, because growing up I didn't smile at all. I was a sulky, moody, so-and-so, but I had good reason to be.
Speaker 2:And now when people say, oh, you've got a gorgeous smile, you're always smiling, you're laughing, whatever it just shows. It doesn't matter what you've come from, what you've had to go through. You can choose how you end up, and that's what I did. I chose that I wanted to not be sad. I didn't want to be scared. There's still moments in time when I'm sad and scared, but generally, from what I want out of my own life, I wanted to have a genuine reason to smile, and what I used to do when I was an adult, I used to sit in front of the mirror with a glass of wine in one hand, tears going down my cheeks and practicing smiling in the mirror.
Speaker 2:Prior to that so I'm in my 20s I couldn't even smile on demand or on command, because there was no reason to smile, and so getting into music was my safe place, and that's why I've done everything to stay in music and when I realized smiling was the thing I wanted but then smiling on your own is quite boring. You want to then have people around you smiling and I wanted to be the reason why people would smile or attract people that were smiling and happy. And that has kind of been my thought process through everything I've gone through. Once I was able to start making those decisions, so I really felt I needed to kind of share that with you, because people might be listening to my story going oh. So she then joined a band and then she did this and she did that.
Speaker 2:How do you do all those things? It's been a real uphill journey, but knowing that music has saved me from a very early age and has continued to save me at certain points of my life, I will always be indebted to music and indebted to creating or performing or being around musicians or sharing my music. That is, I'm not married, I don't have children, I don't have those things that a lot of people have, but what I do have is my sense of self and sense that I want to. I want to make myself happy. That's down to me, and if I can make other people happy, then I've cracked life. So that's kind of I don't want to put a downer on things, but I felt I had to say those things and I feel ready to share that story that's really deep.
Speaker 1:I'm imagining you as a younger person living at home in this isolated situation. You're going to that room, switching the radio on, just taking a moment to think about that. That is where your joy is coming from. That's where your security is coming from. It's not coming from your parental figures, maybe it's not coming from your siblings. It's actually coming from the music that's coming over that radio and actually that's why it's your safe place throughout your life, because you know that music is a constant and that's been with you all the time.
Speaker 1:So that, I think, is just for me to hear that is. It kind of breaks my heart a little bit, and I know it will our listeners as well. But I also think it really shows what a strong character you are, because you actually set your own goals. And amazing to set a goal of I'm going to make myself smile, I want to see myself smile, I want to be in the presence of other people and I want to have that, not just the superficial smile, but I want to have that genuine happiness, which is amazing Actually, I think, if we just sort of rest with that and think about that for a minute, it's awesome what you've done actually, and it's so amazing I mean, I'm just blown away by that, and I know our listeners will be as well. That's just an amazing story, because we just see you as smiley Sam. We don't see the tears behind the smile, yeah. So I think, sam, this is a really good opportunity for us to move on to the next section of this podcast. I never thought I'd say Hosted by Sam Crane normally, but today hosted by Anita Abram, and you are our amazing guest on this podcast.
Speaker 1:For this second segment, we'll be looking at things you never thought you would say that you're doing really easily now. So maybe it was something you really struggled with or worried about starting something you did in the past that you thought this is a real mountain to climb, but now you're able to do it as easy as falling off a log, for example. And we want maybe four or five things and, as you're telling us about them, them perhaps talk about the kind of advice you'd give a friend that was wanting to do something similar and to help them overcome it. So this segment is really about things you thought you'd never say, things that you're easily doing now, and what advice would you give a friend who is in a similar situation.
Speaker 2:Thank, you, anita. Very well explained by the way.
Speaker 2:I like that well, I had some good notes so, yeah, things I never thought I'd say, which is the whole reason of this podcast, as you know, and I know, and the listeners know it's interesting for me to now be explaining this to you. So, in no particular, I have had to make notes with this because I just thought, oh, my head's all over the place now. So I think that I now have the courage to speak up and tell my story and how it's affected me and how I've overcome those challenges, because there's so many more things I want to do and this, even to get to the point that I'm at now, has taken so much courage and I've wanted to be sharing my story but it felt if I do, then I'm betraying my family or I'm throwing them under the bus. So I've had 52 years of living this and I want to speak up and I want to be the person, the artist, the performer, the, whatever, the that I want to be, and when I've got something holding me back, I don't feel I can be that person. So my first step has been to share some of that, a lot of it, on this podcast. So I've taken courage from, like I said, the other women, so to be able to do that without the fear of what will people say, what will they think of me? Blah, blah, blah, blah all those things. I'm putting a line in the sand and saying this is my story and I'm at liberty to share it and tell it however I want to. So that feels like a big, big thing. It's not an easy thing to do. It's a really scary thing to do, but I feel I have to do it.
Speaker 2:Another thing I never thought I'd say is I'd be listened to, because talking about you know it was emotional abuse. It was a traumatic experience. I wasn't listened to. I wasn't allowed to be myself and to be able to sing a song, perform on stage, for people to even enjoy what I'm doing. That to me I never thought that would happen. And now to have people even it's still over in Australia on Facebook sending messages and telling me oh, I remember when you were on the cruise ship and we had a great cruise because you performed and we had a chat afterwards or whatever. That means so. So much to me. For a little girl who was I never even played out. I wasn't allowed to play out. I didn't have friends growing up. So for now to be able to be so outgoing and to be able to chat with people and to be myself and for them to enjoy what I'm saying and what I'm singing about is massive for me, so I never thought I'd be able to say that. The other thing as well about.
Speaker 1:So we, just before we move on to the next one, let's just let's take a breath and think that is absolutely amazing what you've said. Just think about some of the things you said, no one would listen to me, and now you've got so many people listening to you some hundreds of people are going to listen to this podcast and you're making a real difference to people's lives, and also through expressing your own journey. It's that authenticity that's coming with that, because we don't all just arrive on planet earth as a fully made being. We go through experiences. Some of them are good, some of them are bad, some of them are really tough.
Speaker 1:And I just want you to think that the resilience and the strength that you've had to endure through your childhood, I mean. I just want to go back to the one point that you said I wasn't allowed to play outside as a child I think we need to get a flag and stick it in the sand there and say that is a massive thing, an absolutely massive thing, to not be able to go out and play and have friends. I didn't have friends. Now you're someone that plays out all the time. You've got many friends and you've got a fan base and people that listen and respect and take your advice. So I just wanted to express that back to you.
Speaker 1:It's not just a case that we want to skip on. We want to actually acknowledge what you've just said there. This is a massive I know because we've spoken to it off air this is a massive, massive thing for you to share your story publicly and you've been thinking about it for a long time. So I really thank you and please do now move on to your next story. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you, anita, and I think that's all anyone wants. They want to be heard, they want to be acknowledged, they want to be understood, and that's why this podcast, for me, has been an incredible experience, because that's what I've hopefully done for the ladies that I've spoken with giving them a platform so that they can share their story. So, now that I'm sharing my story, you're doing the same for me, so I appreciate what you've just said there, anita.
Speaker 1:Thank you, oh wow okay, yeah, I think it's deep, isn't it? And I think we need to allow ourselves to go deep but then just to sit with it for a little while. I think that's deep, isn't it? And I think we need to allow ourselves to go deep but then just to sit with it for a little while. I think that's really important when you're expressing really deep things, because I know, like me, our listeners will be taking all that in and they'll be thinking like I'm thinking that's a big thing to say. I wasn't allowed to play outside, and I say that as someone that was brought up in the 70s and 80s. Playing outside, having friends.
Speaker 1:It's really important for our development as human beings. And again it takes me back to your story of the radio, that radio being your friend, that music being your comfort and your constant source throughout those years. So please, sam, tell us something else that you thought you would never say, and that was amazing. So you never thought you'd tell us something else that you thought you would never say, and that was amazing. So you never thought you'd tell us your personal story about your journey and your childhood, which was very isolating, and you felt in that room where music was your companion, and that's what led you to want to train yourself to smile in front of a mirror, to look in a mirror with your glass of wine, with the tears rolling down your face. Let's not forget the tears. Yeah, to become the person you've become today and are continuing to become, because we're not finished products. That's said on this podcast.
Speaker 2:So please tell us a few more things. Well, thank you, anita. Thank you. I never thought I would write songs and produce songs that people love and want to listen to and enjoy, and I am doing that. The podcast song, for example. There's something here at the beginning of the podcast, at the end of this podcast, and dispersed throughout the podcast. I wrote that and produced that and I love it. It's one thing me loving it, but I need to. I know you love it as well.
Speaker 1:I love it. I've been dancing to it. You know that I've been videoing myself doing crazy dances to it because it really helps. It's a good song to dance to and I need to dance, like we all need to sort of keep active as we get older. And it's a great song and I was just listening to it today and I thought it's amazing the craftsmanship, the different harmonies you've got going on the instrumentation.
Speaker 1:It's a great song, it really is and it's brilliant, thank you yeah, so you never thought you'd be writing your own music that people would love? No, how does?
Speaker 2:it feel.
Speaker 2:It feels utterly amazing. It really does. And then you've got the other song well, there's loads of songs that I've done, but you've got the upbeat, happy song of things I never thought I'd say. But you've got a song called allowing love, which seems to be the one that a lot of people resonated with and that is effectively my story. And to be able to write record, produce music like that and for people to resonate with them and enjoy them and want to listen to them. For example, that we talked about the radio show that was on right the very beginning of one of the that I'm doing now I've been co-hosting on a show with John over in Canada which is for Radio Downtown, having a ball co-hosting these radio shows with him, and he played Allowing Love and went this is my favorite song by you and he goes please write more stuff like that. And when he said that I felt a well of oh, my goodness, not that it was worth it what I went through, because it's I wish I never had to go through and I wish anyone if they've experienced anything similar, no one should have to go through that. But to then turn it around to go OK, I'm going to take something from that experience and make it good. Take something from that experience and make it good, and that's what I've done. And I also have to say the community, isabel Anderson.
Speaker 2:We met, through Isabel Anderson at the Home Recording Academy, the community Isabel, all these fantastic women that are all on their own journeys, writing, recording, producing, doing their music. I feel so, so happy to have met this group of women and I didn't think that would happen. I've met other singers working on cruise ships and we didn't get on. There was there, was, you know, there was some tension there and I never thought I'd be in a group of female singers and we could enjoy each other's company and appreciate each other and champion each other, and that's what we do. So I'm really, really happy to be part of Home Recording Academy and Rise each other and champion each other, and that's what we do. So I'm really, really happy to be part of Home Recording Academy and Rise and Release and meeting Isabel and meeting yourself, anita, and all the guests that I've met from being on that journey and other ladies I've met. It's just incredible.
Speaker 2:So I never felt I would belong somewhere. I think that's what I'm trying to say. So the music is one side of it. But belonging in a community because growing up I used to stand out like a sore thumb. I was, you know, like I said, the only brown face in the room wherever I went, and you just get used to it. Now it doesn't matter if I'm still the only brown person in the room. I'm a female doing music amongst other females doing music, and there's a power in that and I love that. So I really appreciate that. I can say that now Already, our special guest, sam Crane, on this bonus episode has shared a lot. Join us on part two to find out more from this inspiring woman in music.