Go Mama Pod
Each episode of Go Mama Pod is a conversation with a purpose. We'll discuss the societal expectations and the real experiences of motherhood, letting you know that it's okay not to be perfect.
We'll delve into the fascinating world of early child development, providing you with the tools to understand and nurture your little ones (while also not losing your sh*t).
Hosted by Rachael McKenney-Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a wealth of experience and knowledge around maternal mental health and child development. She guides guide you through these discussions with warmth and expertise, making you feel like you're chatting with your best friend.
Go Mama Pod
Building Community in Parenthood: Embracing Connection and Support
Have you ever found yourself craving a chat over coffee with a friend but felt overwhelmed by the hurdles of connecting in our digital world? This latest episode is an exploration of human connection, especially for parents navigating the complexities of modern life. A network of support is not just beneficial but necessary for our emotional and practical well-being.
You'll leave this episode with six compelling reasons to actively seek community and an array of practical strategies to combat the isolation that can sometimes accompany parenting.
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Once the top four basic human needs are met safety, shelter, food, clothing we need other people in the form of community and connections. We need them for support and it sounds so basic but it is so complicated in the ever-present internet-driven, digital world. No longer do we reside in the same three-flat building as our parents, siblings, grandparents, cousins all those people. Many of us have moved away from our families of origin or our parents. Grandparents have long passed. There might be contentious relationships or lack of respect and boundaries that limit our abilities to connect with family. The 40, maybe 50, 60 hour work week and endless activities for our children have left little time for a quiet coffee and chat with a neighbor. A lot of work has moved online, so work connections are confined to gold-driven online meetings with little time for chit chat or chance happenings in the staff room. You might have moved across the country or abroad for work or your spouse's work, maybe a change of scenery which makes those built-in connections slim. Making friends as an adult is so stinking hard but so important for your well-being. You need connections in this parenting phase and beyond for so many reasons. We'll talk about six in this episode and go through some ideas to help you combat the isolation. Put on your courage pants and get out there. We need support for sharing knowledge and experience. This is the group chat guys Offer guidance, share experiences and knowledge and provide emotional support during the difficult times. A place to ask questions like did your kid do this? Is this normal? Any tips you might discuss parenting techniques, seek advice on development or simply vent your frustrations. A community can be a valuable source of encouragement too. Every parent faces unique challenges and learning from others who have gone through similar experiences can be incredibly beneficial. It also reduces isolation. Parenting can feel isolating, especially for those who may be far from extended family or close friends, or even be a stay at home parent. That community helps combat isolation and fosters a sense of belonging. When you connect with other parents who understand the struggles and joys of raising children, you will definitely feel less lonely, and even just knowing that there's someone across the street or a few minutes away that will help you in a pinch can make you feel less isolated and more connected. You also get to socialize your child with other kids, because when the parents get together, the kids get together. I call this the hey wanna bring your kids over to wrestle in my basement with my kids and we can have a coffee together, play date. Sometimes the coffee spills, sometimes somebody cries, but you learn so much more about your own child when you see them with peers. Your child is also learning community and establishing a sense of belonging very early in their life. Number four resource sharing. Communities can serve as a resource hub. Parents can share information about local library services, child friendly activities. Hey, did you know about this indoor play place in X, y and Z and it's not too crowded on Tuesdays at this time? Do you wanna go? What about educational opportunities? Hey, the zoo camp opens. Registration opens at 9am at this time. Are you gonna be on to do it? Just that little message or phone call helps you know that somebody's thinking of you and is looking out for you and wants your kids to do fun things, obviously. So it helps you stay informed about resources and helps you feel less alone. I think all of this helps you feel less alone Again, emotional well-being.
Speaker 1:Number five Parenting is so emotionally demanding. Man, oh man. My son asked me the other day mama don't sleep. I wasn't sleeping, obviously. I was sitting on the couch taking a deep breath with my eyes closed, because he kept saying the same thing 300 times and it was really taxing on my nervous system. So that's hard.
Speaker 1:You can share successes hey, my kid put pants on today. It was a great day. Just the little things. You can seek advice during challenges. Hey, my kids won't put pants on.
Speaker 1:What would you recommend? Celebrate milestones, sense of camaraderie, all these wonderful, beautiful things that are good for your brain, the last one being cultural and diversity exposure, depending on where you live to like. Some communities are more homogeneous than others, but you're exposing your child and yourself to diverse perspectives, cultures and backgrounds, so it fosters open-mindedness, acceptance of others, lean back into your values. That's what I want for my kids, and if you're listening to this, I'm betting that you want it for your kids too. Raising well-rounded kids who understand that there's people in the world that are different than them, but that doesn't mean that they're less than them. All right, team.
Speaker 1:How do you do it? We know the why. Yes, we understand Communities. Great, connections are great. But how do I do it?
Speaker 1:Coming from a shy Well, former shy child, introvert, why do you think? I like sitting in a room by myself talking, because there's nobody else here and it's my alone time, essentially Okay. How do you do it? Start where you're comfortable and then make yourself uncomfortable. Hear me out. Where do we look? Facebook groups, yeah, facebook might be on the way out, but your town or neighborhood might have a dedicated group or page where you could spend some time lurking, see what other moms are up to. Maybe there's already an established play date or a story time at the library. Check out your local community college classes. Do you have a current hobby or is there something that you're interested in learning more about? Take the class park district there's always something in the park district. Take your kids to the park Low cost. If there's another parent there, awesome. If not, then your kids can just play outside.
Speaker 1:Library story time Like I said, there's always people at my library. Maybe some local groups like women's clubs breastfeeding support if that's what your phase of life you're in right now mom and me classes, yoga classes, boutique gym classes so this might be harder with big box gyms, but maybe there's workout classes within the big box gyms where you could Strike up a conversation. Maybe the parents of kids on your kids soccer team, baseball team, t-ball, whatever Daycare moms, are they there at the same time as pick up or drop off book clubs. Create a book club. This is one of my favorites. I love to read, I like to be around other people. They're amazing fit for mom. I'm pretty sure this is a national organization and there's all sorts of classes available in different areas where you can do like the prenatal classes, the stroller strides, I think they call it, and then there's like the post baby Fitness classes. So that's a really awesome opportunity. The one in my area. They do a book club, they do a run club. They have events every month either at a member's house or a place in the local community. It's a really great opportunity for moms to connect with other moms.
Speaker 1:Also, your faith community, I imagine there's many houses of worship. It's a great place to start and see if there's already established groups. Can you establish a group? Can you just sit next to another family and say, hey, how do you keep your kids so quiet during this service? What's your trick? And my last suggestion is use your current network. Ask around in your current network. If there's anyone who knows someone who lives in your area, get their number, reach out via text, set up a time to hang out with kids without kids. So how to be open.
Speaker 1:I think this is a paradigm shift, perspective shift, because you might tell yourself I'm shy, I'm socially averse. Yes, it's okay to be shy and socially averse and it's also okay to jump in. The worst that could happen is they don't want to be friends or they're a total weirdo and they're not a good fit. The best that could happen is they're a lifelong friend. The middle of the road is there's somebody you can message to meet up for chips and salsa when you need a break, or you can brag on your kids together, talk about your latest special interest or vent really about anything. So this takes bravery and some talking up. Here's an example.
Speaker 1:I can't tell you how nervous I was to join a local running club. I wasn't a fast runner, but I wasn't the slowest. I was new to the community and I just wanted to meet people and also it's a reason to get out of my house. So I walked up to this big group of people chatting and I seriously latched onto the first woman who talked to me. She was amazing. God bless her. We started running. She was fast. I struggled to keep up but I ran with her the whole time because she was just so nice.
Speaker 1:You can find that nice welcoming person, or you could be that nice welcoming person. Be open to meeting them. I like to think that people are just friends I haven't met yet, and friends is a loose term of a like hey, they're my park friends. Or like hey, they're my pool friends. I see them at the pool, we chit chat. Or hey, they're my friend friend. I call them when I'm crying at 9 pm because of X, y and Z problem. That's going on. So maybe everybody is a friend that you just haven't met yet.
Speaker 1:People are generally nice, contrary to what you might hear in the news or on CNN social media. People are mean behind their keyboards, but generally people are nice face to face. So let's think, if you're going somewhere new and no one knows you, they don't know that you might be a typically shy person, or they don't know that you might be socially averse or socially nervous. Test out a new approach with them. Hey, have you done this before? Have you been here? What's good here? How old are your kids? Do you live in this area? What's your favorite class here? Really anything, anything.
Speaker 1:People love talking about the weather. Talk about the weather If you're in the Midwest. We just had fake spring and now it's 30 degrees out again. Talk about fake spring. What'd you do in fake spring? I went to the park, my kids were rollerblading, it was great. But now we're inside again. Oh, we bundle up to get outside. Seriously, anything you can do it.
Speaker 1:Meeting new people is hard. It's hard to put yourself out there because it's hard to feel rejected. It really is. It's hard to feel that sense of rejection or feel the sense of not being good enough. But you are, and if someone rejects you, they weren't a good fit anyway. I hope you join the Go Mama Hub community. I'm on Facebook, instagram, linkedin, love to connect with you. Let me know if something resonated or if you'd like me to explore a certain topic. You have a question? Happy to help. One last thing about making friends as an adult Put it in your calendar, plan it in advance and don't back out. We cannot make last minute plans, like we did pre-kids or in the college years. This has to be scheduled or it will not happen, trust me. Again, thank you for tuning in today. You're doing great. Take care of yourself.