Go Mama Pod

Mose's Guide to Mental Health: Life Lessons From My Dog

• Rachael McKenney • Episode 7

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Ever wonder what life lessons you can learn from a golden retriever? Join me on this heartwarming episode of Go Mama Pod where we explore how my adorable dog, Mose Leave It Dingus, has profoundly impacted our understanding of mental health and mindfulness. You'll uncover Mose's gentle spirit and instinctual behaviors, which teach us to be open, curious, and kind. Inspired by Eckhart Tolle's "Guardians of Being," we discuss how animals like Mose can open our hearts and encourage a more hopeful and kind outlook on life.

Journey through Mose's quirks, from chasing squirrels to lounging in a kiddie pool, and discover the simple joys that can enrich our lives. Learn how Mose's approach to managing anxiety can offer us healthier coping mechanisms for our own emotional challenges. We'll also delve into essential mental health lessons, including the importance of self-care, emotional regulation, and living in the moment. Tune in to let Mose's joyful presence inspire you to enhance your well-being and mental health. Don't forget to share your own "dingus" stories and pictures of your beloved pets on Instagram at go_mama_hub.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Go Mama Pod, a podcast for parents who are in the throes of the beautiful dumpster fire of parenting, trying and, most likely, failing to do it all. In each episode, you can expect evidence-based insights into mental health while parenting and actionable tips to manage the mayhem with littles. I'm your host, rachel McKinney, your therapist's best friend. I'm also living in the thick of the ups and downs of this parenting rollercoaster of emotional dysregulation. I'm a licensed clinical social worker with a wealth of experience supporting families and young children as we all navigate the unknowns and sometimes problematic behaviors of childhood. I firmly believe that a parent's or primary caregiver's mental health is inextricably linked to that of their children. You take better care of your child by taking care of yourself, of their children. You take better care of your child by taking care of yourself. Hi there and welcome back to Go Mama Pod.

Speaker 1:

I want to start this episode by telling you about my sweet, sweet three-year-old golden retriever named Mose. His full name is Mose Leavitt Dingus. The Leavitt part is because we constantly are saying that to him, because he has a knack for putting all sorts of things in his mouth. Think Woody doll from Toy Story, dinosaurs, toilet paper, cardboard sticks, really anything he is chewing the dingus part is because he embodies this word. He's such a lovable ding-dong named after Dwight Schrute's cousin on the Office. He and my two boys make up the three stooges of our family Mose, larry and Curly. He's always with them, waiting for the next crumb to fall, and you will frequently hear a small child yelling his name, followed by stop yicking me. Mose loves them fiercely and keeps a watchful eye on both of them when we are out and about. Now why do I want to share so much about my sweet, sweet Moe's? Well, if you follow me on Instagram, you know that Moe's is a frequent character in my posts and reels, not only because he is cute with those big brown eyes and that wet nose, but because he is many of the characteristics that I teach about mindfulness and mental health.

Speaker 1:

This episode I'm sharing the top five life lessons that Mo's has taught me, in the hopes that you can learn a thing or two as well. So you might know that I'm a staunch animal advocate and have a fierce, fierce love of animals ever since I was a small child, starting with my dear guinea pig, sandy. But I don't think you need a dog to learn these lessons. The lessons can come from a cat, birds, chicken, cows, etc. But not cicadas. Cicadas have burned me by leaving their nasty, nasty exoskeletons all over my yard, my driveway, the sidewalks. Every single walk we go on is a little crunchy because of them. And then they just dive, bomb you when you're outside. Yes, the rational part of me knows that they are harmless and that they won't hurt me or bite me, but those big red eyes just creep me out and I just strongly dislike them. Okay, anyway, the cicada tangent, let's move on. So let's talk about the lessons.

Speaker 1:

So here's what Mo's does, and then I'm going to explain what we can learn, and then we'll talk about the connection to our own mental health. So the way I describe Mo's is everyone is a friend that he hasn't met yet. When we are out on a walk, he gets so excited to see new people. He shakes his little butt and walks up to them and just wants all the love from all the people. With dogs, he knows right away if he wants to play or not. He will either walk away or not engage, especially with those little dogs. Little dogs suck. I'm sorry if you have one. If he's playing, he'll tell the other dog he's done by again not engaging, walking away, or if that dog needs a little lesson, he'll growl or snap to get the other dog to stop. He lets all sorts of people love on him To pet him. He likes to sit in their lap, lick them, or yick them, as we say in my house, and he rolls on his back. He shows that vulnerable part of his belly that he just willingly trusts that people won't hurt him or others won't hurt him. So what can we learn from this? Won't hurt him. So what can we learn from this? He teaches us to be open, curious and willing. He also presents that vulnerability. Like I said. Now, the connection to our own mental health is one of the main tenets of mindfulness is to be open and curious and wonder. We can also acknowledge thoughts of judgment, but let them float away on a cloud. We can also learn from most that most people are kind, and if people are not kind, really that's a them problem and not a you problem. So it's okay to be out in the world with the assumption or overall hope that every person that you encounter is kind and you can offer them kindness.

Speaker 1:

As a starting point, here's a quote that really sticks with me from the book called Guardians of being Spiritual Teachings from Our Dogs and Cats by Eckhart Tolle beings spiritual teachings from our dogs and cats by Eckhart Tolle. And if you know if you've been in the mindfulness space for even a minute you know who Eckhart Tolle is. He's a prolific writer and very famous for his mindfulness teachings. His most famous book is called the power of now, and I highly recommend it. So the quote starts off by saying dogs emanate a goodness that people respond to.

Speaker 1:

One of the joys of walking your dog is that often people come up to you and immediately their hearts open. They are not interested in you, of course. They just want to pet your dog. How true is that? I love how it says immediately opens their hearts. I have seen this time and time again when I'm out with Moe's and people just say oh, what a beautiful dog, can I pet him or anything like that, and they just light up, whereas if I was by myself, they wouldn't give me a second glance.

Speaker 1:

Now, when we lived in a more densely populated area just outside Chicago, we were able to meet and befriend so many people simply because we had a dog. Now, it wasn't Moe's, it was my angel dog. Her name was Scout. She had a silly underbite and a sweet face that you couldn't help but love. All that to say. Dogs bring people together, help people break down those walls, those barriers, and, of course, offer a great conversation starter, like if there's a dog sitting there, you don't have to talk to the person, you can just say oh, how old is your dog, what's their name? Da, da, da, da da. You don't need to even focus on the person and it's completely acceptable.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so this next lesson is what Mo's does, is he actively seeks out his needs and wants, or he asks for it. So that might look like coming up to you and nudging your hand under his head so he pets you, or jumping up next to you and laying down and cuddling. Or bringing you his ball so you throw it and he can play cuddling. Bringing you his ball so you throw it and he can play. He might sit by the back door so he can go use the bathroom. Or, honestly, he's been eating all the cicadas so we have to keep him inside more.

Speaker 1:

If he's out on a walk, he just squats wherever he needs to go, doesn't matter who's around. Or, seeing him Again, brings the ball. If he wants proximity, he will lay by you. Right now he's laying within three feet of me because I'm the mama and I'm the favorite. If he's hungry or needs water, he'll do those little feet taps by his water bowl. He takes naps when he wants, he has the zoomies. He even licks his own butt, scratches his face with that back foot, and then if there's something appetizing on the table or the countertop he will just jump up and take it like it's his, something that we're working on, but something that he does.

Speaker 1:

Now, what does that show us? That shows us that he knows what his body needs and wants and he goes for it without hesitation or thought of what other people are thinking about him. But, to be clear, he has no thoughts about what others are thinking of him. He just is, he's just being, and he can meet his own needs without checking in with someone else. So what does that teach us about our own mental health? That means go, get what you want and need people.

Speaker 1:

Very simple, sounds simple, right, but we routinely deny ourselves what we want and what we need. I wonder if it's because we fear we might be an inconvenience to others or we've been conditioned to put our needs after everyone else's. You know I'm a recovering people pleaser, so I feel this. If I remember being in a car on a road trip and not wanting to say that I had to go to the bathroom because I didn't want to inconvenience anyone, really, I didn't go to the bathroom because I didn't want to inconvenience anyone. Yeah, it's profound.

Speaker 1:

Another personal story is I recently started working with a dietician and we were discussing hunger cues and I've come to realize that I have ignored my hunger cues for so long. I really only experience them when it's a feeling of oh my gosh, I need to eat right now or my body will eat itself from the inside out. True story Hunger cues seem so simple and biological, but I've trained myself to ignore them, either in service of others or telling myself I don't have time, or keeping so busy that I don't even notice my teacher people will understand this because I swear teachers have a bladder of steel, or the biggest bladder ever, because they never pee, or they pee before school and then after school, out of necessity. They have trained their bodies to not alert them that they have to pee, which is, yes, very problematic. So I want to ask you what do you think you need to do to meet your own needs? Or what do you think you need to do to simply practice listening to your body's cues? What is your body telling you? It takes practice and the ability to be in your own body, which, I recognize, can cause some pain or discomfort for some. So please take care of yourself when you work on this. It can be challenging.

Speaker 1:

Okay, number three Mose knows what he loves. This dog loves squirrels, rabbits, catching bubbles, catching bugs, playing in water. Of course he's a retriever Playing with all his balls. He puts two or three in his mouth when he trots around in the backyard. He loves to run with me, he loves to play and he anything can be food for him the cicadas, like I said. We have to keep them away from the litter box because he likes to eat cat poop. He also likes to get in the garbage, so he just gets after it, no matter what. He also likes to get in the garbage, so he just gets after it, no matter what. So this definitely goes along with knowing what he needs. He knows what he loves. One time we caught him lying down in the backyard kiddie pool that didn't even have water in it yet because he just loves it so much. And he was probably like, okay, I'm waiting for the water, where is it? Get the hose out front people. And when this dog wants to run, so I'll take him on a couple miles outside he, when I wake up in the morning, he will follow me, he will be within one foot of me and I can tell he's just waiting for me to lace up those shoes and take him outside. So what can we learn Now?

Speaker 1:

Don't think too much about this, but I want you to answer this question as quickly as you can. What do you like to do for fun? What was the first thing that came in your mind? Or was your mind blank? Did you have a panic moment of I don't know? She's putting me on the spot. What do I like to do? So this goes along with knowing what you need Know what you freaking like to do For me. I like reading, I like to go out to eat, garden run, and I make time for these things because it's a necessity to find joy in the things that you like to do. So maybe, if you couldn't answer that question, think back when did I feel the most joy or when did I feel that sense of wow. I could do this for a long time and not feel like time is passing.

Speaker 1:

Okay, number four, moe's chews his bone. When he's anxious or nervous, he likes to lounge around the family room, but if he is having some pent-up energy he might need to chew on that bone. So what is he showing us? He's showing us that he knows how to handle his feelings, although sometimes with support from us, which might look like go get your bone, which he understands and he'll go get it. Or we hold up two or three bones and say which bone do you want? And he will give a sniff to each of them and choose the one he wants and play with it. Give a sniff to each of them and choose the one he wants and play with it so he can handle that.

Speaker 1:

Now, what do you do to handle your feelings, the big ones, the hard ones? Do you push them so far down that they explode at a later and somewhat inconvenient date and time? Or can you sit with them and know that feelings are just a wave crashing on the sand or a cloud floating through the sky? They come and they go like a train on a track, and we don't need to give our feelings so much power. We're allowed to be with them and give ourselves what we need Maybe a snuggle, a walk, a quiet place to contemplate, because you are not your feelings, your feelings, your feelings are not you.

Speaker 1:

Okay, number five for Moe's, every day is the best day of his life. He is just such a happy dog, content with whatever he's, willing to go with the flow, as long as he's with a trusted person, except for that one time when he went home from daycare with the wrong family. We had a good laugh and imagined that he was just like, jumped into this man's car and said oh, you're my new family now. The poor daycare people were very apologetic, but we thought it was a good story. And with Moze, he's in the present moment because he doesn't know any other way. He's not filling his brain with thoughts and thinking and past and past regrets and future worries, anything like that. He just is.

Speaker 1:

Another quote from Guardians of being I want to share with you is this just watching an animal closely can take you out of your mind and bring you into the present moment, which is where the animal lives all the time surrendered to life. Now, how can we surrender to life. What does that look like for us? Of course we're humans and we need that thinking time, so maybe we divide it up, we allow our minds to have thinking time and present moment time. Can we squish the thighs of our little baby and toddler and give them a squeeze and say, oh, my goodness, these thighs are my favorite. Can we get lost in our child's features? Can we get lost in the beauty of nature and the profound growth that happens just outside our window or inside our own homes? We can try to quiet our mind by focusing on the present, just like Mo's.

Speaker 1:

So there you have it, the five mental health lessons from Mo's Leave it Dingus. Number one, as a recap be open and curious and only offer your vulnerability if you feel safe. Number two go get what you want and need to take care of yourself. Go get what you want and need to take care of yourself. Number three know what lights you up. Do what you love. Number four do what you need to do to handle the big, uncomfortable feelings. Number five embrace the present moment.

Speaker 1:

Now tell me and you can tell me in a direct message on Instagram If any of these resonate with you or if you have your own dingus in your life. That teaches you valuable life lessons. I would love to hear it. Also, send me pictures, because I love pictures of animals. My Instagram profile name is go. Underscore mama M-A-M-A. Underscore hub H-U-B. I would love to hear from you. Also. One last tiny ask, if you have three seconds, could you please take a moment of your life to like, rate and share this podcast with anyone that you think would like it? And, as always, please, please, please, take care of yourself.