Jeff's World Podcast
"Jeff's World" is a captivating podcast that offers a unique perspective on life through the eyes of Jeff. With a wide range of topics, Jeff delves into various aspects of life, sharing his thoughts, experiences, and insights. From personal stories to thought-provoking discussions, each episode of "Jeff's World" aims to provide listeners with a fresh perspective and a deeper understanding of the world around them. Ultimately, Jeff's journey leads him to explore the profound connection between life's experiences and the presence of God. Join Jeff on this enlightening podcast as he invites you to see the world through his eyes and discover the spiritual significance in every aspect of life.
Jeff's World Podcast
The Tightrope of Love: Choices, Sacrifice, and Finding Hope
When love intertwines with the very fabric of our being, it leads us on paths we never anticipated. This episode is a heartfelt narrative that explores the depth of our emotions, the sacrifices we make in the name of love, and the unparalleled support that carries us through life's most trying moments. Prepare to walk with us through the laughter and tears that have painted the canvas of our thirteen-year journey together, from the corridors of high school to the challenges that test the strength of our bond.
Navigating through life's decisions can often feel like walking a tightrope, where the weight of love and personal ambition must be carefully balanced. We delve into the critical crossroads that define our lives, from the choice between a military career and the warmth of home, to the pursuit of individual dreams that sometimes call us in opposing directions. We bare our souls as we discuss how these decisions are intertwined with commitment, and how relationship dynamics can profoundly influence the paths we choose.
In the face of profound loss, faith can be both a sanctuary and a battleground. This episode takes you through the raw and vulnerable journey of grappling with the heartache of losing our first child, a time when our faith was put to its most harrowing test. Through our story, we seek to offer a beacon of hope to others navigating the tumultuous waters of grief, reaffirming the resilience of the human spirit and the unexpected strength that can emerge from the ashes of despair.
Let's go, we're back, let's go, we're back. Oh, this is crazy, this is insane. Episode two we're go, we're back, we're back. Yes, sir, babe, how does it feel? We're back? Episode two, how do you feel?
Speaker 2:Hey, what's up everybody? I'm feeling good, I feel motivated. I'm excited to be here, be able to give some insight on what we have today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, guys, I don't even know where to start. I'm just so happy, you know I'm I don't know how, how, how is the word I'm looking for, you know, overfilled with joy? That's the word I'm overfilled with joy because, man, I've seen the support of everybody. Yeah, legit man, you guys have been amazing. You guys have shared, you guys have listened. I'm so happy that you guys enjoyed the first episode.
Speaker 2:We definitely have like such a huge support system Our friends, our family, our church, like we have so much love, and I think that that's what has us to this day with the strength that we have is thanks to all our friends, everybody that knows us and are always supporting us. Like we're just so blessed, honestly.
Speaker 1:Legit, yeah, man, and all the people that I've met. Man, you know, I was at my, my nephew's birthday recently and I remember that I met, I met somebody there that that, um, wow, like you know, he knew about the podcast, so I've never met him. And to know that my, my podcast was able to reach different ears, man, that that that makes me happy. You know, I'm that, that it's, it's, it's amazing, it's a great feeling. And now we're here, man, oh my gosh, episode two, episode two, and we're so happy to continue going on with this guys, and and we were thinking about man, like, babe, what could we talk about? You know, what could we really talk about? And and you know, I think the best way to start it off is I think, it just seems appropriate.
Speaker 2:It's the month of love, so that's what we're going to be talking about love.
Speaker 1:So we'll talk a little bit about love and and and. As we go on, you'll see.
Speaker 2:So you know how. It would be a great way to start this. Why don't you tell me 10 things you love about me? 10?
Speaker 1:things 10. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2:You can tell me later in private.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, I will tell you, but 10 is insane.
Speaker 2:I gotta go look through my books. Oh you, 10 is too much. I'm gonna have so many. 10 is too much.
Speaker 1:No, I have so many that.
Speaker 2:I don't know. Oh, you made it seem like 10 was too much.
Speaker 1:No, no, but I do love you and it is the month of love and I think a lot of people probably wondering you know who is Alice and who's Jeffrey, and man, literally they know how long we've been together, right, yeah.
Speaker 2:We should be called Jefferson. Oh wait, I already have your name. So how do you combine Jeffrey and Alison? Yeah, I think we tried that before.
Speaker 1:I don't think that really worked. Yeah, no, but I think let's start off by I don't know how many years have we been together.
Speaker 2:So I'm sure we have many people hearing this podcast right now that were there from the beginning, and it all started in high school.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they started it in high school. Ready, are you ready for the year?
Speaker 2:No, I'm not ready. We don't have to say that part.
Speaker 1:Why.
Speaker 2:Because then people will do the math and I don't need people to know my age.
Speaker 1:No, I'm telling you how long we've been together.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, yeah, no, I don't care, I'm just kidding. Why they don't mind. We could say the year.
Speaker 1:So for you guys wondering, how long are these kids been together? Yeah, yeah kids. How long have these kids been together? Well, let's, let me. Let's start here right, Little old Lynn classical high school. I met Allison and we were. I was a young kid.
Speaker 2:Yep, it was my freshman year of high school.
Speaker 1:Allison was a freshman.
Speaker 2:Nice and innocent.
Speaker 1:And I was a sophomore in high school. So so to do the math, I've been at a high school since 2013. We are currently in 2024.
Speaker 2:So we have been together, babe?
Speaker 1:How many years? 13 years?
Speaker 2:It's almost hard to do the math. Every year it gets harder and harder. Yeah, it's going to be our 13 year anniversary in April 13 years, 13 years guys together.
Speaker 1:Oh, somebody help me, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:But you can't live without me now. That's the issue.
Speaker 1:It's crazy, because 13 years is definitely not something that's easy, but, to be honest, it's not something that. How do you even get that far?
Speaker 1:You know how how does that happen? And personally, like you know, like I said, I met. I met Allison, my wife now. We met at a very young age, in high school, and she was actually. It was crazy because I kind of knew all of her friends, all of her friends, they knew me and I was friends with all of them, but I never met her. So this is how we actually met.
Speaker 1:It was one day at the cafeteria I seen her and I was like yo, who is this girl, like how many, trying to talk to her? And I remember going up to her, I wanted to talk to her and she just kind of had that like that Mm, hmm, don't talk to me. Like who are you? You know what I mean? So I was like what's good with this girl? You know what I mean? Usually I wasn't used to that. So, whatever, you know, I remember trying to talk to her. And then, um, I remember trying and then she ran out, she did, the bell rang, was time to go to back to class and I remember I ran to her. I was like yo, like what? Like I'm trying to get her name. I knew her name but I was trying to act like I didn't know the name.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you gave the worst pickup line.
Speaker 1:What was it?
Speaker 2:It was. Allison is your name. Oh my gosh, that's my mom's name, Like okay.
Speaker 1:Was it the worst pickup line though?
Speaker 2:Yes, I didn't want to be someone who's their mom, right. All right, it was a bad pickup line, right?
Speaker 1:You say yes, but 13 years later you still remember it. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't think that's a tight thing.
Speaker 1:I don't think it's that bad. You know, I think it worked. If you remember, 13 years later it worked. So, yeah, that's what I did. I you know, I say all my mom's name just trying to be all whatever but she kind of ignored me. So the day went on and I was like man, I really want to like talk to this girl.
Speaker 1:So that night I remember going back home and I hopped on to to Facebook and I remember going on Facebook and I was just going through some of my friends and you know, back in the day in a Facebook, you guys used to have the whole conversations on the comments section, that's kind of what it was back in the day. And I seen her and I and I was going through one of my things on my cousin's Facebook and if, for some reason, I clicked on the comments to just you know, I don't know, I guess I wanted to be a little like nosy and just see what was going on, right, and I see that you, that you commented on it, and then you guys were talking. I'm like, oh, they know each other, huh. So then, literally, you know, I threw my little two sets in there in that conversation and actually you know we had the whole conversation going on in that, to the point that my cousin was like yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, to the point to my comment, like my cousin said, hey, can you guys like take this somewhere else, like you're like, because I can imagine the, the, it went off from there. Yeah, and it went off from there. And I remember you know we, we kicked off and man, there's so many stories from us. You know, from the beginning, and I remember the day I asked the Rob was because I told her I wrote her a song.
Speaker 2:Oh, Just full of lies.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm excited to receive a beautiful, handwritten heartwarming song, and what do I get instead?
Speaker 1:I asked you out. I think that was better, I think that worked out. So so, yeah, you know. So it's been 13 years, april, april what. April 19th of 20, I don't remember.
Speaker 2:I don't remember the year. I don't remember the year man you, man, be with me.
Speaker 1:I know y'all, with no y'all forget the year and don't lie. You all forget the year. It's been so many years, but, but 13 years and, and it's been a process. It's been. It's been definitely it's been. It's been challenging. I'm not gonna lie. You know Anybody. I think it's in a long-term relationship we could. You know, I want to talk to this, talk to the book with you because, excuse me, you know, being together with someone that long it's not easy. And and I want to talk to the young people in this. You know, definitely cuz. You know, I was at an age of probably almost like 16 years old, 15, so, you know, still in high school and you know your high school. You want to find a girlfriend or whatnot, and and that's amazing, it's cool that you want to do that. I get it. Everybody wants to have a girlfriend, isn't that?
Speaker 2:love is in the air. Hormones are yeah or more active.
Speaker 1:You know you're young, you know your little Choo-fee-choo-fee is high. You know what I mean. You're, you're, you're excited, you see a girl. You know. But it's definitely not something easy. You know what I mean Cuz in the long run, when you become an adult, you start realizing, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's funny. We work with teenagers, yeah, and you know we obviously don't really want them dating at a young age because you know they're exposing themselves to a lot of stuff and One day one of the teens go like wait, didn't you and Jeffy date at 15? So yeah, I'm not gonna find my future husband in high school and I'm just like.
Speaker 1:Look, I'm not, and I'm not saying don't do it, I'm not. Look, I may not tell you not to do it. You can do it, but my thing is that it's gonna be, it's gonna be very difficult and it's gonna be hard because because for me and Allison it definitely we had so many challenges to get to the point that we were at and, and if I can go back and I tell the time, and she's, she's, you know, she's, I think she's. I think your view is different on this, but there were a lot of things that we had to, basically Not we were not able to do. Because we had to, because we loved each other and we wanted to be together, we wanted to stay together here. So a lot of things that we didn't do. What do you think?
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely. We each had our own personal goals, as in going to college or when your situation, it was your, your goals with the army, and for me it was going, you know the broad or or just kind of being with my friends and for you being with your friends and it was like, okay, but I also want to be with my yeah.
Speaker 1:So, for example, when for the use of that guys, I don't know I joined the, the National Guard. And Quick story about that right Before I joined the National Guard, I had everything set to join the big army, which was the active duty military. You know, I had everything set, I was ready to join them, and funny story was that I did all the paperwork with the, with the recruiter. Okay, what's a recruiter? A recruiter is someone that kind of like helps you get into the army. So if anybody out there and shout out to my recruiter, sergeant Brown, I Love that guy, even though he sold me the infantry or something amazing, but it was amazing, I enjoyed it, trust me, I enjoyed, I loved it. But it's definitely not easy and shout out to him though. So if you know anybody is thinking about it, let me know. I got a couple of recruiter friends. I'll send you their ways. They'll just explain to you how it works. Don't worry about it, then we'll get you in, but you can at least test the waters.
Speaker 1:But when I joined, right before him, it was a, I was different, a different recruiter, and it was for the active army, and I remember I did all the paperwork with this guy. He even came to my house and he talked to my parents because I was under the age, I was 17 years old. And uh, and he comes in, he talks to my parents and everything seems like you know. Oh, you know, my parents obviously didn't want me to go in and and I'm thinking like man, I'm really gonna be away for a while. And and then I started thinking about you. I'm like man, like I feel like if I go active army, like I just don't think you know, this is gonna work out, because there's just no way, like I'm gonna be away and I Purchase it didn't see it gonna work out. I really did.
Speaker 1:I think I really fell in my heart that if I went out of the duty in that moment, me and you wouldn't be together cuz I just it, just imagine I would never be home. So I remember that, that my recruiter he had all the papers done and at the end of that week whatever, like it was like on Thursday, like that Saturday, he was gonna take me to what they call maps maps is kind of like where they're already Do the physical on you and basically you guys sworn in and I remember he just picked me up at school. We drove all the way to like P bitty and he goes alright, jeff, here it is, he's gonna sign here where we're all set, and thought it out and I remember I froze. I Was like what am I gonna do? And I told him like no, I'm not doing it. Can when I tell you this guy was angry, oh my sick Yo he was.
Speaker 1:It can you imagine we? It was a lot, it's a lot of paperwork. And then the last signature he probably needed for me. I was kind of like, oh no, I'm not gonna do it. Jeez, I'll be honest, I think even I don't even think he gave me a ride home. I think I had to call my dad to pick me up.
Speaker 1:That's all I'm gonna do was to be honest, like like he didn't want to pick me up and I didn't do the army, you know, and. But why do I say that? Though, right is because, like, that decision Was a lot of based off, like you know me, one be with you, and Young people now that want to do something, that they really want to go on do something, they limit themselves with those situations.
Speaker 1:You know, thank God, like I said, for my sergeant Brown, that I you know he told me about the guard, which is okay, it's got the same thing, but I get to stay home, something like that, and and I loved it. It was a great decision I made, but but how different my life would have been if I went to the active army. You know what I mean. So, like every decision you do, it affects your future. You know I mean everything you do when you're a young person it's gonna affect you. You know, down the line, even as an adult now, if I'm 28, now 29, whatever Any decision that I can make now could affect me 20 years down the line.
Speaker 1:Absolutely like you have to be very wise on on any type of decision that you make, because don't look at, is that quick, like Moment type things start looking more towards the future. What is this gonna bring five years from now? What is this gonna bring 10 years from now? 20 years from now? Is this decision gonna affect me? And that really you know me was what kind of hit me a lot grown up, and I feel like you probably could have ran the same thing, because if you want to study aboard a board From you know somewhere else, a different state or something. I'll be lying if I said, if you're responsible, you didn't do it. You know, you kind of like, well, I want to be with him and and I'd be lying if I never said like, oh, you're gonna leave me. I was probably toxic like that.
Speaker 2:I don't know, we didn't get to go to each other, like we didn't get to go to our own prompts because it was like, when it was the time of my prom, you were away and Honestly, I don't know why we didn't go to your prom, but I know that we were restricted in a lot of things that we could do because one or the other had nothing's going on in their life. And there's, I was wondering, like man, what would that experience have been like for me? You know, I didn't get that picture, I didn't get that memory and it's, it's something that I don't yeah, promo's in boot camp right, that's what I was away, yeah and then, and then you made it up by well, we sort of went to a military bar around that time, but that was that fun.
Speaker 2:Young and it was so many like older people there and I just felt like a yeah lost kid. It was definitely not prom vibes, but it was an experience and I, you know, have the picture memory. It was amazing to be able to experience things with you and, although being with someone at a young age comes with a lot of setbacks, it also Helps you grow together.
Speaker 2:Yeah and you know there's a lot of things that possibly I would have done differently had I been single all of my friends, but you know you kind of were a great influence in my life and Kind of always had me a little bit on track and I had you a little on track. So I don't know, it kind of restricted us, but the same time God knows why. God knows why he put us in each other's lives.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it was yeah, and it's not easy, like like I say like, trust me, because as you grow you know you it's not something that's easy, it's definitely not. And so many things come around in life sometimes and you know you're like, oh man, how am I gonna get through this? But I think you know, even though through our faults and everything, that we I guess we found the way, you know we, we trust.
Speaker 1:We trusted God that you know, whichever way we go and and I mean, are we the perfect? Are we the perfect marriage? Are we the best marriage? That they could probably be no, but I think God does sustain us and helps us get through Every type of problem that we kind of face.
Speaker 1:Yeah and and I know and I think like that's the thing about marriage is, if you're gonna do it, I think you're still gonna be learning something every day, because you have to understand that the people are different. Like you're 100% different than me and I'm different than you, and when you're young, right, you're growing up and you're growing up together. So it's kind of man like a lot of things. We both like the same things, but in Reality there's still different things that we like and like all kind of like this and you like that or things that you kind of grow out of.
Speaker 2:So, for example, you know when we, like, started to change our life around and you know you wanted to start going to church and I wasn't ready for that change.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so. So so listen to this guys. Five years ago, it's about five years ago, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Five years ago. I have, I have a crazy past, I do. I've like, I've done a lot of crazy things in my past and we'll talk about that one day, promise, we'll talk about that. But I Remember it came to a point when I'm like okay, I've come to a point in my life where I'm too hooked on drugs. Right now I'm too hooked on a lot of things that really don't are not benefiting me. I remember I had invested a lot of money in like stocks and I remember like we lost, I lost everything somehow and All my savings that I had.
Speaker 1:Like it was just like you know someone that was kind of like trying to move up and and like I kind of lost everything and and I went to the bottom and I'm like man, and then you know it's hard for you know I, there are things of like you know, mental Illnesses and whatnot, and I was told myself, you know I mean, look, I grew up and like not really like believe in that. I think it's just like a Spanish culture thing. My dad, I think I probably seen him like cry once, so I never really Kind of had that, like you know. So I was like nah, you gotta be a man, you gotta like, make it through it. And I felt that I've always felt like no, like Jeff, even through that, you know, I fall. I'm a man, I'm gonna make it through, I'm gonna find out how to do it, and I did. You know, the money will start coming back and everything. So I work, but I'm like man. But I felt you know Me personally this is me speaking I felt like I felt I found emptiness. I did. I felt like something was missing. I felt like it just felt like, like, like you know me, you have everything in the world, but you still feel that emptiness. And that's what I was feeling right. I was feeling like I had had everything right, like I had you. I had, you know, at the time. You know I had money and and I had my car. You know we had our vacations, we had everything, but I felt like something was missing.
Speaker 1:And Growing up in the church, you know, I remember man like saying, like you know, god is always like that missing piece. Hearing that and I'm like man, no, I don't want to do that, I don't want to go to church like I don't need that in my life. I don't, you know, I don't want. I don't want to live that kind of life. It's, it's too strict, and but whatever, I was like you know what? I have to go to a church, let me go try it out, just cuz like see if it's gonna help me. And that's what happened, right, we we? I remember telling you I was like, hey, listen, babe, I gotta go back to church. And you just turned what? 21?.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just turn 21. It's crazy. I was like this is my year, I could finally go to a Bar, whatever, I can finally do all these stuff that you were already doing because you were, you're older than me, and that's that you decided to go to your plan. Yeah, yeah, like you ain't going nowhere.
Speaker 1:It was my plan to keep you off the streets. No, no, not at all. Stop it, that's crazy. Said that, no, but it was really me personally and I gave like the choice. I was, you know, I really said like I Gotta go back and like guys like listen I Don't know if you guys can relate in that, in this, or not if anybody that you know wants to go to To maybe a church, but they're being held back, if we're really kind of like that way, saying it, but I told you know, ali, I was like listen, either, I'm going back to church. I feel like this really isn't gonna work out. And she was so mad, like I tell you it was, it was, it was so hard, it was an argument and we were already kind of like Going through our things too, like we were already struggling.
Speaker 2:You know just, we were each in our own world, like each finding ourselves. We went to you were 22 hours, 21. Yeah, you know, experimenting exactly and as I'm getting up to walk out, of that room Because you told me you want to go back to church.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cuz it was either you go back to church with me, come with me, or, if not, like this is it? Yeah, it's like either. I mean, this is where we end.
Speaker 2:I mean, I stuck with this guy who wants me to go to church and, you know, follow all these rules and change my entire life around. You know, live in the strictness. That's the way I viewed it. You know, growing up in a strict household, and then I felt free from that and then you want me to kind of like go back to that because that's the way I viewed the Church, like all these rules and I'm not gonna be able to drink, I'm not gonna be able to dress this way or whatever.
Speaker 2:That didn't really seem attracted to me and I wanted to experiment, have fun, live that life. And and I was walking out of that living room, I grabbed the door, like the handle of the door, to open it and what crossed my mind was that that thing that my mom always told me was like hey, make sure you find a man who fears God, because if you do, he will respect you you know, he'll, if you, if you if you could say that, like I mean it, maybe, maybe, but there's some dudes out there they can feel God, but oh, so I didn't like, and I get that.
Speaker 2:We're human, we all make mistakes. Just because you're a church person doesn't mean you're perfect, you're never gonna cheat, you're never gonna divorce.
Speaker 1:I want to make that Yep.
Speaker 2:Absolutely true. But I'm just telling you what I remember my mind. Like in that moment I was kind of like man, like do I do this, why not? Like it seems like the right thing to do. Like I could be walking out of this door and I'm gonna end up finding a guy who's like yeah, not it, or I can try to make things work out with with you who was trying to better himself.
Speaker 2:Like that's the way I viewed it, was I all for it? No, it took me years, years, to accept the church life. And well, that's the way I viewed it. Now I have a totally different view of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not just for the people listening. Look, like I said, this is just kind of our story and that's where you bring the church in and all that that we go to, and but when I say that, oh man, these guys, oh, mr Perfect, mr Bible, no like.
Speaker 1:Or Allison Wow, look at her like, no, no, we're near it. You know, I mean, that's, that's my coworker. You know me like it's things that we would definitely fail up, but we work on to be better, because then the day we want better for everybody and and it's not, it's not about being perfect, and that's what I understood going back, and I, you know, I try to explain to her and and thank God for, for, for kind of like my pastor, mentor in us, that way it's.
Speaker 2:God will do the change slowly and we'll see as time goes remember being in the car just me, you and pastor and he would. We were talking about us going to church and he was like and I was kind of like, yeah, I'm not really excited ago. He's like why not? Now? I'm like I don't want to do the things that the church is saying I have to do. He's like who's telling you you need to change? Who is telling you that you need to do those, but you don't have to do anything? Yeah, and I was just like what?
Speaker 1:what did you say it like? Why did you sound like that, yep?
Speaker 2:God was the one who's gonna do the change the whole time. You know what I mean. And in the moment when he said that to me like hey, you don't have to stop doing anything, you don't have to change anything, you don't have to do that I was like what is this guy talking about? Yeah like I know this church, I know the way that people are supposed to be and I do not want to be that person. And he tells me that like what? Like, okay, like.
Speaker 1:Because usually you're told like, oh, you can't do that, you're gonna do this, this. The butt is the way you're gonna. It's just amazing. I mean the whole story. But that's kind of, you know, like back to like, I saw we met, like that's kind of how we met and we and we've been through a lot and we have so many stories that we'll probably share with people through time. You know, like your Hawaii trip, like you're uh, you're uh Jack Daniels and your favorite drink and all that.
Speaker 2:And now not my favorite drink we can, we can talk about.
Speaker 1:You know different stories, that another day. But but yeah, we definitely went through a lot of things together and and it's been that long that year you know, 13 years. So for those guys that If you're young and you want to grow for it, ask yourself when do I see myself with this girl in five or ten years? If you're a girl, ask yourself when do I see myself with this guy in five to ten years? Avoid yourself the trouble. Avoid yourself the the hurt. Just try to figure it out. Take your time, think about it. You know, because it's a lot of like, a Lot of people get hurt, a lot of sadness and it sucks. You know, you do and you want. You know what I mean. You want, you want what's best. Try at least what's best. And if you're and if you're going through something right now, try, don't talk about it. It's communications.
Speaker 2:I'm one of the most important, yeah, I was just gonna say that I think that, think about it, but talk about it. Talk about it with your partner and and see they try to feel out, because that's the one thing that I Always done, since the teenagers always communicate how I felt, and I always asked how you were feeling. I was wanting to know what were your goals, you know, and I always saw that. You know you were really romantic like you.
Speaker 2:We talked about a future a lot and I'm not a saint and honestly, even though I was a teenager who, like I, also can't grow up in church in a different church, then you did and at that time, teenagers we were not really, you know, they're 100% so I knew that somehow, like I, I prayed to God and I'm like God, like even though money, a teenager like I, I want, I want you to put in that guy in my life and I felt like an angel, kind of ironic.
Speaker 2:Makers, but I think that God can really guide you. Yeah, because there are many people who started dating at a young age and have successful marriages, and we don't know people's story. Everyone has a different story. So I think, communication with your partner, communication with God, and you know just- Communication is important, especially in relationships.
Speaker 1:If you're going in it, just Communication is important. But why do we bring all this up right? Why how we met and all that? Well, there's something that we want to share with you guys, I think. I think a lot of people know and and it's something that me and my wife went through recently and I Feel like we never really talked about it, right, I think this hasn't really been talked about. So I, you know, we want to share it with you guys because it's because I am, you know, maybe someone needs to hear.
Speaker 1:Yeah and and I and I and I truly believe that it was hard to kind of think about it. But you know, starting things, you know you gotta believe they happen for a reason. And so, as you guys know, me and my wife, on December we were expecting our first baby girl, our first baby, and, trust me, we were super excited. I mean, you know, being together, you know, over 13 years, you hear it all the time oh, what's the first kid? What's all that? You know, you hear it. But you know God, his time is perfect, that's what we always, we always believe. And December, you know, due to complications, my wife was how many?
Speaker 1:19 weeks, 19 weeks already, you know, some complexions came up. So you know, she, she, she had to go through labor and Basically the baby didn't make it so so we were kind of set back here, right, we were like man. For me personally I'm like man, you know, we, we, we trust God and we ask for God for this and and everything. And then, and then it happens, he's like wow, god, as you know, wow, god did the miracle, like it, we finally got pregnant. Because the guys listen, 13 years, you know, trying, and you know nothing's happened and and we're just kind of like what's going on and you know Whatever? So it happens, you know she gets pregnant. In my mind I'm thinking man, like God, you're good, thank you for doing this. And then that happens, right, and I was such a still such a tough situation and I remember I remember getting the phone call at work and it was crazy because we were doing the Yankee swap, and I remember like we were so close to go get in the big gifts that our job gives and now so excited because I wanted, I seen that they had a huge, sound sound bar, the boss one. And I remember telling one of my, my friend there I was like, hey, mike, make sure you get the big sound bar for me, and shout out, mike, though he didn't get me the big one, he got me a little tiny one, which still sounds amazing, and I really wanted the big one. And I remember waiting there and and then, and I remember getting the phone call, though, and then, you know, my heart dropped. You know I'm like, oh, like, you know me, you were crying the phone. I'm like, oh, like what's going on? And and I remember running to the car and, and you know, we, I just shoot out.
Speaker 1:And it was, it was, it was a toughest drive in my life. Right, it was about 35 minute drive to get to the hospital and, and nobody knows this but in that drive, man, I'm just sitting there like, like God, you've promised me, it's on. I remember telling him God, you promised me this, do not let nothing happen. Like you, you made this happen, you made the miracle. Like don't let, don't let this get messed up. Like don't let me, let me lose the baby. Like you promised me, lord, please, lord.
Speaker 1:You know, in that time you start asking God for everything. Like you know, if I did something bad, god, like I'm a fix it. I promise this time, like I'm, you know, thinking like, if, like, because of what we do sometime, god, whatever so many things go through on my mind and and, yeah, you know, we, we, we got to the hospital and everything happened, I would happen, and and we and we lost a baby girl, we did, and you know, I, I still thank God for the opportunity because, at the end of the day, I was a dad. He made me a dad, which was I asked, I asked them, you know, and I made this, told you this the other day, and I was like maybe I should be more specific next time, right? But, um, you know, I told God, you know, to make me, that he did make me a dad, but it wasn't easy, it was definitely hard and and there was a lot of Things that my life wanted to resort to. You know, my life wanted to fall back on because, because, how do you, how do you get through something like that when you expect? You were expecting it? You know, how can you, how can you get by this? You know what I mean, especially in times of trouble, something like this, you know, my mind is like this, like there's no way. God is this. You know what went through my mind and I'm gonna say how it is. There's no way God is real. How could he let this happen? There's no God, there's no justing, it's fake.
Speaker 1:And I remember, at my job, one of my, one of my customers, you know, you see, no, I been like I haven't seen you when I came back to work. He goes, he goes. Oh, I've been. I kind of told him situation. He goes and I'm, as I'm, walking away, he goes, hey, jeff, okay, what's up, buddy? He goes Ain't no God, just like that, like they, ain't no God, and I'm kind of like man, and this was like my first, second day back, or am like you know. I mean so imagine, like you know, I'm already fighting this battle of like trying to believe that and then have a customer told me that you go, there is no God, and I'm like man. Okay, you know, is he right? You know, I start thinking myself Is he right? Could he be right? But it's not, he wasn't right. He wasn't right because I I tell you right now the strength that I've have felt in this situation when this all happened, the uplift that I have felt, the, the, the sense of peace that I have felt.
Speaker 1:It's unexplainable, like you can't, I can't, I don't know how to explain it to anybody. All I know is that there is somebody bigger, somebody more powerful, that looks over you Believe it or not, if you want to or not, everybody has their own beliefs. You want to, you know people believe in their own things and people can say, oh well, you know it's just. You know your emotion isn't that. Look, no, the piece that I felt in that situation to be able to, to feel comforted, it only comes from some supernatural being and I believe highly that that God held it down. And not only that. In that situation, you know to to to realize that.
Speaker 1:You know we had a funeral, to realize that all that was like it was just taking care of you know to know that None like you know what I mean. Like when you go out, how much do we owe for all that? The guy don't worry about everything's being Take care of, everything's being taken care of. You know we called them shout out to my aunt to help and all in that situation. But she, she made a call for me to the funeral home and and then she called me. She said hey, listen, the funeral home says that don't worry About it, they're gonna take care of everything. I'm like what for real? Like and then they go and I call them there. You know we're gonna take care of everything and and then we have a beautiful ceremony and know that everything was taken care of and and and then we were treated like you know, like, like I feel like those were angels in the hospital with us. You know the way they'll do.
Speaker 1:The two ladies I wish I remembered their names. I don't know if you remember their names, but they were two nurses and like I still want to go visit them again and Just talk to them. But they were so amazing to us, like man, like usually the guys kind of like that they say right in the hospital, when the, when our wife is Girls giving like birth, the guys kind of like they don't really care about them, they put them in a corner or whatever. But you know they were nice to both of us and no, hey, you want to bed. And and I know those were like angels sent from God and they, they, they helped us in that situation. It made us felt at peace. You know, made us felt at peace. And but why do we? Why do we talk about that? You know, I don't know if you want to share anything, babe, but I feel like you know that that, why we want to go through that, to talk about that, you know, is why do we speak about that situation, and it's because there's plans ahead.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. Um. Well, yeah, first of all, it was something that was Super traumatizing for me, just kind of being scared of From the beginning of my pregnancy, being scared of a given birth and then knowing that I have to give birth but I wouldn't see the baby through it was. It was very traumatizing and and I can say that God has definitely been the reason why I'm standing right now and it's crazy because I wouldn't say that it's strength. A lot of people tell me how strong I am and how strong I'm being and how they admire it, but it's literally not strength at all. I'm weak. I cry every day, but as soon as I finished, my tears wept them off and then I remember that God has the final say in my story and he has a way, bigger purpose, and he can see way beyond what we see. And I remember when that first happened, a lot of people would tell me that God has better things, right, god has bigger things, and what could be bigger than a life?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's tough. What can be bigger than your own People? Gotta know what to say in this situation.
Speaker 2:What can be bigger and better than your own first daughter, first child? What could be? Nothing could be, but that's the word of God. That's what his word says. It says that his plans are better than our plans and I didn't choose to put that life in me. He put the life in me.
Speaker 2:I didn't even know I was pregnant for six weeks. I wasn't trying to get pregnant, I was honestly. We were living our life like we were traveling, we were happy, and then one day I ended up in the ER because I'm throwing up and I have COVID and I was pregnant and I was in shock for weeks that I was even pregnant and losing my baby. And then hearing oh God has bigger plans, god has better plans. At the moment it felt like irrelevant, but now, as the days has been going by, all I can do is really stick to his word and really remind myself every day like, hey, you need to remember what you signed up for when you entered this life. With God, I decided to pick up my cross and surrender my life to God, which means that my life doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to him and his kingdom.
Speaker 2:What he's doing in my life has many purposes. At the same time as I'm grieving, all I can do is make her life meaningful and remember that now that I have experienced this, I'm able to relate to many people many women.
Speaker 2:So many people have reached out to me telling me that they experienced the same thing and I'm like wow, I didn't know you went through that. And now, knowing that other people have gone through the same thing as me, I know that I'm not alone. I know that I'm not the first person that this has happened to him. No, I'm not the only person that this has happened to. But I just keep on going every day with that mentality. Every single time I'm trying to get sad, any single time that I try to get into that state of like, just low. I think about how God's not done with my story. He has something else planned for me. All I can do is look ahead and I changed my entire life around. I was already, I already felt like I was pretty happy, but now I'm determined to be even happier, like I'm determined to make her life the motor to my life and keep on going, keep on fighting, keep on being a difference.
Speaker 2:Keep on, you know, keep my optimism, keep on. I didn't want it to be the reason why I'm brought down, the thing that destroyed me. No, her life has big purpose and you know, I think that this topic for me it was it is a little bit delicate and I stand here right now because I'm able to tell anybody out there who's going through any grief, any pain, any loss whether it was loss of a person or loss of plans that your story's not done, that there is something else being made, that, at least in my belief, it's that my plans are my plans. But Gati is beyond and he knows what was going to happen in the future. He knows, he knows why we go through, why we go through. He has something, he has something greater, he has something big. Come in. But you know what? Just keep your eyes on him.
Speaker 1:That's it.
Speaker 1:Keep your, keep your mind positive and keep on fighting, and that's what it is. Yeah, you know, I tell everybody, you know, keep, keep your mind positive. I don't know what anybody goes through in this life. I don't know your situation, wherever you are. That's listening right, but understand, there's a verse in that I like to read real quick that I see in the Bible, and it was Philippians 1-6. He said, being confident of this, that he who be gained a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ.
Speaker 1:The way I see it is this if God has started something in my life because God for me is love, god is good and if he has started something already in my life, I don't believe that it's gonna stay at that, it's gonna stay there. You know, I don't believe that we're gonna. That's it. You know it's just gonna be all bad, all sadness, all bad. You know, in this life we're gonna suffer. In this life we're gonna go through hardships, but it's how we set our minds for the future. It's how we wanna plan ahead. Is this gonna hold me down? Is this situation gonna destroy me and just keep me in a in the state of like depression for my whole life? Is it? Where am I? Where am I? Where is it gonna lead me to?
Speaker 1:And I believe, as hard as it is, you know, god uses everything for a reason and sometimes we don't understand it, we don't see it. But there is light in the end of the tunnel. There is something much better in the end of the tunnel and I believe that you know, you guys, anybody that goes through something, you can get through it. You can get through whatever you put your mind to. If you set your mind that you're gonna get through this, you're gonna get through it. And it's not gonna be easy and you're gonna fight and you're gonna, and you're gonna feel like quitting, you're gonna feel like giving up.
Speaker 1:You know, sometimes you know you want I don't know why your, your your heart, brain is so powerful that it can take us so many ways. But I believe that you can get through it and I believe that you can grow, go beyond and make bigger things in your life. So I encourage you guys. Right, because this wasn't something easy for us. It wasn't, and Trust me, I wanted to go get drunk. I wanted to go buy a blunt or something and just smoke away some problems. Go back to drinking maybe, just get drunk and just you know, because it's true. And when I, when you smoke or you drink, you tend to forget these things, and it's true and numbs it a little bit.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it numbs it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it numbs. It's kind of like you know it numbs it and you kind of don't have to feel it. Yeah, but what would I get out of resorting to that? What I had? A the next day sick. Now you know money wise, cuz back then they were, we used to smoke, how much money we used to drop on like just smoking so much.
Speaker 1:So it was like you know, you start investing a lot of money in that, you losing money and Listen, we can go on the day, we can go on, and it is a path that you know. I don't think it's gonna bring anything positive in your life. What you're gonna do is switch that mindset and say this sucks, this is, this is hard, but I'm moving up, I'm gonna level myself up, I'm gonna, I'm gonna become bigger. I this, this situation that I just went through, this hardship that I went through, it's not gonna keep me down the ground. I'm gonna get back up and I'm gonna become, I'm gonna come back stronger and in and in my situation, in yours, you know if, if a kid's coming which we're gonna believe it till you know he, god has a final say in the Bible, if you read about it, there was a lady that was a whole Sarah.
Speaker 1:She was very old. I know she was almost like in the 80, 90s I don't know how much of a was, but even at that age I'm not saying that's gonna happen now, you know. I mean I don't realize that, but I'm just saying the that we just can't minimize the power that he has.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can't be there are two things that two things that kept me motivated in this situation. Number one, it was that Sometimes we need God. God puts us through situations to mold us some of our character.
Speaker 2:Yeah for his purpose, and I Understood that this situation was part of my story. It was part of making me to be the person that I am right now. And the second thing was Job story. I have never been able to connect to his story as much as I did now.
Speaker 2:This man who was faithful after losing it all and he still trusted God, and everything that I was experiencing during my grief was he was Seeing it word by word. I didn't have the words to speak about my pain, I was just reading them and I'm like whoa, he understands and he remained faithful. So that's what I did. I'm like you know what this situation could break me, but I'm just gonna decide to stay faithful. And to this day, I'm able to testify that Trusting God is the only way to be able to get out of these situations. And looking towards him, repeating his word over and over again any time that you get your Moves down anything, any time the devil tries to put those thoughts in your head like, no, this situation or that, and it's like alright, let me knock out of my mind with what he has to say.
Speaker 2:Let me put in God's word, because it's what his words gonna bring life to me, and it has been.
Speaker 1:That's right and yeah so, but yeah, it's crazy experience. Obviously we still have a long way to go. You know it's just how life is in a lot of situations, you know. But I think you know, let this be a time where, Honestly, I feel like you know. I think it's a good time for for everybody to To remember I love the one. You know, if you have a loved one, you have your family, Give him a kiss, say hey, I love you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, start your day with gratitude.
Speaker 1:Exactly start your day with gratitude, because you don't know what tomorrow might bring. Be thankful for what you have. Be happy for what you have, even if it's in the most littlest things to the most high things you know. But be thankful. And Unless I'm not I'm not trying to tell you here Yo go believe in Jesus, because you know I'm not telling you that, I'm telling you even in life, if you don't want to believe in you, but if you believe what you want to believe. But the main purpose, the main focus I'm trying to let you know is Be positive and move on. Get out of that situation that you're in. If you're in a bad situation that's hurting you, you can get out of it, and I believe you can get out of it. It's mind over matter. Tell your mind I'm gonna get out of this, I'm gonna become better, I'm gonna become bigger than I was before. So that's it.
Speaker 2:That's it.
Speaker 1:Thank you everybody. I appreciate it. I Hope you guys listen to the end. If you did. We're on Spotify and On Apple mute Apple podcast. You guys have been amazing. I love you all. Thank you for hearing. Thank you for getting connected. We'll be back with more soon. Stay tuned everybody.