People at the Core
From The Greenpoint Palace bar in Brooklyn, New York writers and bartenders, Rita and Marisa, have intimate conversations with an eclectic mix of people from all walks of life about their passions, paranoia and perspectives. Featured guests could be artists or authors, exterminators or private investigators, or the person sitting next to you at the bar.
People at the Core
Have You Ever Licked a Frog?: Love, Addiction and 80s Movies with Rita and Marisa
This episode kicks off with Rita and Marisa sharing their insights on routines, early bedtimes, and the unspoken rules of not texting outside certain hours. We laugh along with their poker anecdotes and the texting habits inspired by Larry David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Amidst the summer heat, we find solace in the cool ambiance of Greenpoint Palace Bar, where even the mascot Zelda knows how to keep it chill.
Ever wondered which 80s movie character you'd be? We transport you back to that neon era, reminiscing about films like "The Goonies" and "License to Drive." Our love for Cory Feldman and the poignant works of Brett Easton Ellis sparks a deep dive into the problematic yet beloved classics like "Pretty in Pink" and "16 Candles." From Greta Gerwig to Diablo Cody, we celebrate female filmmakers who have reshaped cinema, and yes, we have some thoughts on the "Barbie" movie worth tuning in for.
Love and addiction, two timeless themes, are candidly dissected as we reflect on past relationships and personal growth. Listen to stories about the challenges of dating with mental health conditions, the ever-evolving perspectives on love, and the pain of betrayal. We also confront our tendencies towards addiction, discussing microdosing, the Sinclair method, and the delicate balance of recreational use. We stroll down memory lane to our first concerts and childhood antics, painting a picture of the moments that made us who we are today. We wrap up the episode by choosing our favorite 'Jennifer' from the 80s.
***Correction- Ally Sheedy plays the mother in Single White Female (not Jennifer Jason Leigh)
Mentions
- Video: Everyone's Upstairs Neighbor
- John Hughes
- Adore with Naomi Watts and Nicole Kidman
- The Sinclair Method
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Email us! peopleatthecorepodcast@gmail.com
From the Greenpoint Palace Bar in Brooklyn, new York, writers and bartenders Rita and Marissa have intimate conversations with an eclectic mix of people from all walks of life about their passions, paranoia and perspectives. Featured guests could be artists or authors, exterminators or private investigators, or the person sitting next to you at the bar. This is People at the Core.
Speaker 2:You like that core. That was a snap in Three two, one Snap. Oh, that was a good snap that was a good snap. Very confident with that one.
Speaker 3:I know it's like a good satisfying high five, yeah, which is hard to do when you get the perfect one where it doesn't hurt, and it's that, palm to palm, resounding like yeah oh, classic, so satisfying when you did that oh, I did no in a good way.
Speaker 2:Okay, it was good I peaked in a good way um hi marissa hi rita how are you? I'm all right. I'm all right.
Speaker 3:You're working a lot, huh.
Speaker 2:I'm like a month in at least of six day weeks. Uh, but it's good. Uh, yeah, cool, went to bed at 10 30 last night. Wow so yeah, I mean I'm able to maintain my grandma hours working.
Speaker 2:My job 're right that's a bonus my mom actually, uh, yesterday sent me a text and it just said sparkle mcgraw. So I know she's listening to the podcast and I said is this the first one? And she said no, I usually listen to it at night, when I'm cleaning the kitchen and making my meals for the next day, but it's too late to text you. Oh, that's so cute, though. My mom will go to. My mom will get like four hours of sleep and she'll go to bed at like two in the morning.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and she knows like if it's after 10, she probably won't get a response from me.
Speaker 3:I still stand by that in general, though I try not to text anyone after 10, I mean unless, like we, we're in a situation where you know what I mean, but like I, still stand by that old rule of of like no texting, but I also don't believe in people texting me before 10 am either but it happens like well, that's also okay.
Speaker 2:So two things uh, notifications silenced, awesome uh. And then I think back to curb your enthusiasm. When larry had the whole thing was like cheryl says it's 9 pm, and then suzy was like 9, 30 what the fuck are you texting me, calling at 9 30 and he's like I thought it was 10, I thought um, so yours is everyone's different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, mine's 10 yours 10, mine's 10 to 10 you can text me from 10 am to 10 pm and then after that I'm like, let me have my space, man I people know I get up early in my closer circle so I get like I gotta text today at nine, um, because I usually see this person walking in the streets, you know at 8 30. So it's like they know I'm gonna be up um, but yeah, like unless no yeah I know I also to admit I just don't respond.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I don't either. So it's not like I'm not gonna engage, but I used to get kind of angry about it, like what are you doing?
Speaker 3:and now I'm like I'm just not gonna engage.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, yeah it's usually, yeah, my mom texting me too late. Yeah, it's usually my parents too.
Speaker 3:Or my parents texting. Well, they're actually pretty good about it. Now that I think about it, I don't know who bothers me anymore.
Speaker 1:I think I just stopped responding. So people stopped doing it, yeah, and then so people stopped texting, yeah. You know what I mean it's a yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, today we don't have guest um, it's just us, well, and our mascot.
Speaker 3:Uh, one of our mascots, zelda. Zelda is just chilling on the floor today. I know she's so cute. Um yeah, so we're just winging it, huh we're just winging it.
Speaker 2:I think we've both been so busy and it's summer and like fourth of july week and all of this stuff happening that it just got away from us and it's easier to prepare when you're not preparing and just hang out and talk. Yeah, exactly, uh, but yeah, and it's fucking balls hot, so yeah it's disgusting out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, being in the cold back room of the palace is it's nice, I know well, I've got to go play poker outside today, so I do a monthly poker game at a friend's house and did not do good last month.
Speaker 2:I thought you won.
Speaker 3:No, I lost like $500. Oh, the month before you were up. The month before I was up yeah, so hopefully today knock on wood. Yeah, fingers crossed, Fingers crossed exactly. Maybe not knock on wood.
Speaker 2:It's like alternates right Win-loss, win-loss yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean, I haven't been on a winning streak in a while, but I'm the only woman that plays.
Speaker 2:I was going to say.
Speaker 3:I thought it's just you and the boys right, it's me and the boys yeah, so our census is a little skewed.
Speaker 2:I think you should secretly record that game.
Speaker 3:I think record um that game. I think that would be hysterical. We would all go to jail.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely not myself included I know I've seen you prepare for for the trip, gathering bottles of tequila and snacks yeah, it's really fun.
Speaker 3:It's like you like a bunch of us local folks and we just get together. It's a great reason to get together and we all love cards and playing so I don't want to give too much away.
Speaker 2:That's alright, playing for hopes and dreams.
Speaker 3:Yeah, hopes and dreams, more of my ego, I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think Zelda and I are going to go hit the couch and I've had all of these signs that have been reminding me of my favorite 80s kind of movies, music, all of this stuff. So I've been thinking about John Hughes and I might dive into a few of those movies. I have so much to do. I need to edit the podcast, I need to read books, I need to plan trips and I need to read books, I need to plan trips and I just it's my day off so I think, uh, yeah, it's a movie day.
Speaker 3:Those are my favorite days. Mine is every Wednesday. Okay, I order all the food and I watch all the movies or all the murder. You know I love my murder, but I did go through a John Hughes phase where I just rewatched everything recently. Um, you know what's your favorite I was just gonna ask you that, um, did you watch brats? Though? That's pretty good.
Speaker 2:No documentary. Yeah, it's great. You should watch that okay, it's really good.
Speaker 3:Um, my favorite would probably be I love pretty in pink. I don't know, is that john hughes?
Speaker 2:right, yeah, well, because I think of pretty in pink breakfast club 16 candles, look yeah um, I just re-watched breakfast club recently and that was fantastic I mean that was my introduction to like what american high school was like as a kid. I mean like what I thought yeah, exactly, well, john he's.
Speaker 3:I know that he's he. If he hasn't directed it, he wrote it. You know what?
Speaker 1:I mean like it's a lot of those you know he directed.
Speaker 3:I think he did weird. No, um, yeah weird science I just re-watched that.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm googling it right. Oh, he did, ferris bueller yes, classic he did do weird science. Um, she's having a baby.
Speaker 3:I forgot about that oh, I forgot about that one. Oh, I forgot about that one Uncle Buck. I love Uncle Buck. That's one of my favorites, for sure.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's so good Planes, trains and Automobiles.
Speaker 3:Also a classic. So good, but did he do Pretty in Pink. I don't think he did, I think he wrote it, maybe it's just the Molly years, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's see. But yeah, so something along those lines, or at least inspired by oh, there's another one Tough Turf.
Speaker 3:I thought that was great. Ooh, desperately Seeking Susan.
Speaker 2:Oh, Madonna.
Speaker 3:Madonna.
Speaker 2:Before she looked like a tiger cat.
Speaker 3:You think she looks like a cat now? Ooh, there's a puckering of the lip and the pronounced cheekbone and the cat eye. I've noticed you're very sensitive to people's plastic surgery.
Speaker 2:I don't know why you do that and I was like who told you that it looked good? And did you see someone who had it and you thought I want that. That looks great.
Speaker 3:Well, you know, I went through a phase where I watched every episode of Botched which is like the plastic surgery.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:So I got really into it, but I think it's a lot of insecurities. Oh, 100%, you know like and people just taking and like maybe getting a little tweak, and then wanting to tweak a little more, and then just they can't stop you know I love Nicole Kidman, but girl cannot like frown. Yeah, you were very upset about that movie.
Speaker 2:She's such a good actress and now you can't see anything in her face botox man or what is it. I think it's botox and tightening like right she's such a great actress though phenomenal. And when you look at her counterpart uh naomi watts, naomi watts at least looks a little more real yeah, that's true she does, because they're like they grew up as yeah they're like best friends, right, right and do you remember that movie where they fucked each other's sons? Yes, what was that called? I don't know.
Speaker 3:It was so that was really good, though um savage no, what the fuck was that called? You see nicole kidman and yomi that was a good movie, though I feel like it was a pretty big director. Oh, what was it Need? No, that doesn't sound right.
Speaker 2:My Google is not satisfying you right now. Yeah, that's okay Anyhow.
Speaker 3:I do know what you're talking about. What's your favorite 80s movie?
Speaker 2:Ooh, the Goonies Goonies is oh okay, so I am Mikey. Yeah, goonies Goonies is oh okay, so I am Mikey. Yeah, I am the like. I believe in fairy tales and if we all pull our tools together, I believe in that kind of magic. And um, yeah, so it was. Remember they had this. Like you know what eighties character would you be? And I'm like, yeah, I'd be Mikey.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'd probably be mouth. Oh, speaking of cory feldman, dream a little dream, do you?
Speaker 2:remember that movie that was so beautiful. They're also some tragic little boys, yeah, but they were in everything.
Speaker 3:I mean I watched every movie. They're ever in what was licensed to drive? Yeah, I was the same because the girl's name was mercedes, right? That probably does not hold up. I mean, it's basically just driving around a drunk woman, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean a lot of stuff is like either super misogynistic kind of rapey, kind of PETA like, like 16 candles, like when they the ex-girlfriend or whatever, when they like she's like passed out and they cut her hair and like so rapey, like she's like cast out. And they cut her hair and like so rapey, yeah, I mean it's brutal, I mean brutal. It's yeah. Anyway, we're getting weird, that's okay.
Speaker 3:I'm trying to think of what other 80s oh, you know Less Than Zero actually to go into writing. Brett Easton Ellis Robert Dine Jr. You know who the writer is Brett Easton Ellis, right. He wrote American Psycho.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know they're coming up with American Psycho 2.
Speaker 3:There is an American Psycho 2 already, no, but current like a new one. Oh, he's writing the novel.
Speaker 2:No with Christian Bale, like the movie oh because I think they did make a sequel. But I think this is, I think that was an off. It was it was an off. Yeah, I think it was like Mila, what's her name? Mila Kunis, I think she was in the second one. I love her.
Speaker 3:I'm just picturing the cover right now. But, he Less Than Zero is a great. I highly recommend it.
Speaker 2:Great movie about the 80s just like part la party kids, you know. Following up on pretty in pink, directed by howard dutch, produced by lauren donner but written by john yeah, that's what I thought, so I was like it's all good, yeah because, like they were obsessed with molly, yeah, um, yeah I was obsessed with mo Ringwald.
Speaker 3:Who wasn't?
Speaker 2:Really I was into like Ally.
Speaker 3:Sheedy. Yeah, well, that makes sense yeah because she was the weirdo.
Speaker 2:And yeah, oh and then. Yeah, I'm just thinking what was? Was Ally Sheedy in in um single white female? She was the one obsessed with bridget fonda right?
Speaker 3:no, no, I don't know he was obsessed with bridget fonda oh, you gotta google it I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it was not, ali sheedy, I actually, as a betting woman, I'd put some money on it but I could be wrong. This may dictate my whole poker game today, if my betting's off oh, I don't want to jinx you, though, is it ali sheedy?
Speaker 2:single white female cast I thought it was um. Oh, jennifer jason lee. Yeah, jennifer jason lee. Yeah, she wasn't really part of that backpack, though no um she talked about a weirdo, she's amazing
Speaker 3:yes you know she got left for greta gerwig, her husband, yeah bombat, yeah, bombat, I've.
Speaker 2:I feel like my opinion about greta would be contentious for people oh, you know, you're not a fan not a super fan. I hated francis haw.
Speaker 3:I thought it was well she's kind of like she's got that um, what's the girl, what's the girls? Lena dunham kind of vibes, right like she's also polarizing.
Speaker 2:Um not. I thought starting out with girls was fucking awesome and brilliant and then it took a dive to just a bunch of people I hated yeah well, what do you think of the Barbie movie? I thought that was good. Right, I thought that was good. Yeah, I was entertained. I thought it had more depth and interest than I thought it would. You know going in.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I feel like Greta Gerwig is kind of. She's kind of what, like Diablo Cody was to us back in the day, you know what I mean, but she's just obviously more successful, but kind of same career track.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know you remember Diablo Cody.
Speaker 3:She did like Juno um wrote a bunch of books she's from Minnesota, minnesota.
Speaker 2:Minnesota oh yeah, so um, but you know, it's just nice to have these female, these strong female, but I mean, I think Barbie made a billion dollars or something crazy they had money and they promoted the fuck out of that and they paired it with open like yeah, it was an intentionally yeah whoever did that was?
Speaker 3:brilliant because it was, I mean, it was awesome. Good for them. Make that money honey absolutely.
Speaker 2:I'm down for it and all the people involved in it. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but I wasn't like blown away.
Speaker 2:No, it was fun and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I was I didn't really care going in what's your favorite movie of all time?
Speaker 3:Fuck, I know it's a tough one, right, I don I could do in all of all time. All right, give me, like two, two of your favorite movies in general.
Speaker 2:They don't even have to be 80s, okay.
Speaker 3:Well, goonies is one of my favorites all right, that's my business partner, mary's favorite movie that I've also been to Cannon Beach.
Speaker 2:I've been there and yeah there is this magic. There's so many things about that that represented for me, for me the belief in adventure and in magic, and, you know, fighting the good fight and fair is fair kind of thing.
Speaker 3:Oh, for sure.
Speaker 2:Legend of Billie Jean too.
Speaker 3:Oh, I love Legend of Billie Jean.
Speaker 1:Remember when I used to shave my head, that's always what I would think of is that movie, oh that's a good one.
Speaker 2:Legend of.
Speaker 3:Billie Jean is a classic.
Speaker 2:There's so many movies that I love Such a great movie. Billie Jean is a classic. There's so many movies that I love. When I lived in Mexico, I would do these things that connected me to American culture that I felt very distant from, and when my boyfriend was out of town or was working, would go and rent VHS Chocolat with nice yeah. Johnny Depp and.
Speaker 3:Julia.
Speaker 2:Pinochet, who is stunning and Almost Famous oh, and those things made me one not like Chocolat, was like French and all of that, but still like it was so opposite of my world and my life that I would watch those things as kind of like a hug, a little self-date. Um, not that they're my favorite movies, but I did enjoy them yeah, well, they just represent something. I get that and then like water for chocolate which is better than the book.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I kind of get them confused. Actually chocolate and, but I've seen both.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's the sisters, and it's cooking yeah, and you put your emotions into the food and it's these like tragic love stories um an adventure and wild women who are going against their families, but it's, like you know, mexican families, mexican matriarch.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:And I always felt very connected to that with my own family of these very strong opinionated women who are all very, very different. So, yeah, I guess it's a time and a place when I'm in vibes. Yeah, I know my vibe is always seven.
Speaker 3:Oh, love that movie, love David Fincher, I'll watch anything Fincher does um. But then my other vibe is Royal Tenenbaums, because it's a glass family, right it's so Salinger-esque, yes, and I just really, and I think Wes Anderson does such a lovely job of like documenting this, this dysfunctional but beautiful family, you know, it's just so well done, it makes me so happy. And it's a dark movie. It's a dark movie, it's super dark.
Speaker 2:But I love it. I mean you and Gwyneth Paltrow.
Speaker 3:Yeah, luke Wilson. And in that scene, when he's just in the mirror and he's like today I'm going to kill myself and he just slices his wrist so brutal. And then the Beatles. Oh, it's just awesome.
Speaker 2:yeah, I want to go watch it right now smart and beautiful and, yeah, yeah, transportive, but and hereditary.
Speaker 3:I love hereditary. I fell in love with that movie.
Speaker 2:I thought Midsommar was like oh my gosh Zelda I have to edit you out.
Speaker 3:No, my sweet potato, my sweet potato um, scared right as we're talking about her right here is like uh, I loved midsummer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a great one too. I mean I need to.
Speaker 3:I feel like people go back and forth between. But you know, you and I saw bo is afraid together and I actually I really liked that I did too lower.
Speaker 2:Um, it was just slower and more, I think, disjointed. Uh, you had to participate more as a viewer yeah and put more of yourself into it. But there were some fucking scenes like the frantic, like the getting in and out of the apartment and the crazy people in the street, like that was such a great, awesome yeah like manic um.
Speaker 3:You could feel just paranoid terror yeah, I mean, I think that I feel like, um, it could have definitely been edited, but there was some alone but, I thought it was. I mean people hated it, but I thought it was pretty. I mean people hated it, but I thought it was pretty awesome. Actually, I remember there was that French woman sitting next to you eating a sandwich. So loud, you were so upset.
Speaker 2:That's what I remember as part of the movie Fairness police. I'm like we're not alone. We all made this agreement to be in society together and there's certain things you do.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but shouldn't you blame the movie theater for for serving such loud food, or do you blame her?
Speaker 2:she did not try to no she did not soften. If anything, it was like this is crunchy and I'm gonna crunch the fuck out of it. She was so into it man um, but I also kind of respect that.
Speaker 3:It was like I like level zero fucks too, so it's hard yeah, I know it's a I know because we were, I mean, at the same time we were eating tortilla chips and yeah so yeah, it's like being the the middle floor apartment.
Speaker 2:Right, you may not know you are a heel walker until you live below one. Yeah, yeah, and so then you are conscious, like I'm the middle floor. So now I think about my basement person when and I walk on the balls of my feet because I get up early and I'm lumping around, yes, I drop things and I make noise and dropping pots and pans and stuff, but I try to at least not walk heavy-footed because I've lived, you know, below yeah, oh, that's the worst, but it sounds like they're moving furniture, or bowling.
Speaker 2:There's a youtube video where it's it's a parody and it's a couple and it's like your upstairs neighbor. It's fucking fantastic I'll put a link into the show notes because it's brilliant and it's a big guy and a woman. They're like we just love performing and you know, like when you're up there, like is that a giant baby? Like wearing clogs? And it's the six foot tall, 250 pound man stomping around they're rolling bowling balls.
Speaker 2:They're taking piles of balloons and popping them rolling marbles around, right, it's hysterical. And then they're like the true joy is when we meet our audience and somebody knocks on their door and she's like what are you? And they're like yeah, thanks, that's pretty great, yeah, you should. You should put the link up, it's it's brilliant that's very funny brings me joy and suffering um um.
Speaker 3:Should we do a question for fun?
Speaker 2:sure, let's, let's. What do we, what do we feel? What do you want to?
Speaker 3:I don't know, let's just we're gonna go into the grab bag of questions. All right, this one's. Let's do it for fun oh no.
Speaker 2:Which of your ex-partners hurt you the most?
Speaker 3:oh, that's brutal one. Well, that's. I mean I could be like esoteric about it and say, I mean there is pain in all of the relationships. I guess my longest one didn't hurt me, but it was very painful. Yeah, you know I view love a lot different than I viewed love in my 20s. It was in my 20s. I wasn't medicated at the time either. Do you know what I mean? So I'm like running around full-blown bipolar, just feeling all the feelings. Right, it's going crazy. I mean, when I loved, I loved so hard. And now in my 40s I'm kind of like meh, I mean I don't have a partner, I'm single. But you know I don't have a partner, I'm single.
Speaker 3:But you know, I think in my 40s dating I'm very much like well you know I can go either way, I'm going to be fine either way, whereas I think in my 20s it was like life or death. Everything was so fucking dramatic, you know, like I had to be with this person or I just couldn't live, kind of thing. Does that make sense? Yeah, um, I was very passionate in my teens and my twenties.
Speaker 2:I I haven't I mean I've been in relationships with um mentally and emotionally abusive people that I didn't know that I was, I mean wasn't conscious that I was in that and making that choice when I was in those relationships. But I they didn't intentionally, consciously hurt me like they were fucked up yeah, right, I had their shit.
Speaker 2:So it's like it wasn't a personal thing, it was just unhealthy um. But I think it comes from my teenage years um trust. So I've been with people that I trusted, like I haven't been cheated on. Um, or if I'm like in the power force. I guess it's either like somebody who is psychologically manipulative or I'm the power person where I'm controlling who stays and who goes.
Speaker 2:I guess, like I've always broken up with people to be in control. But it was my teenage uh, the boy I lost my virginity to then got drunk at a party and then slept with someone and I was like devastated. We weren't together, but I was devastated, yeah, of course I felt betrayed and I felt humiliated, because I also thought the girl was fucking beneath me and that like, yeah, that fucked me up, yeah, so I think I wanted control, I guess because I felt not just deceived but just embarrassed.
Speaker 3:Oh for sure I remember the first guy that I like voluntarily slept with and he ended up sleeping with all my friends. That was devastating. You know what I mean. I know, forget, he's just a 16 year old. Yeah, hornball exactly, but hornball is that a word?
Speaker 2:hornball, cornball horny horn, I think would, hornball would be the word. That's why I said hornball, I said cornball, I was like that's nice, we can be a cornball and a hornball he was a horny ball.
Speaker 3:he was was just a kid. Yeah, he was just a kid, exactly. I mean, we were all just kids. You know, I got an apology years later. Oh, that's nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it felt it was good. I didn't need it to like be a person, but I appreciated it. Yeah, so yeah, and you know it's been so long since I've had a different relationship that it's. You know. I've been with my partner for 17 years, so it's like meh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, and I mean I can't remember the last time I had a partner, so I don't know what that's like.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's fine, I'm your partner, White, yeah, you are.
Speaker 3:I mean I have a lot of partners. You know what I mean. I have my business partners and my podcast partners and puppy partners, and you know like I don't want that to sound like no, I'm sad by any means, but I just view love differently. I love love. I think love is like the most perfect pure.
Speaker 3:You literally shout at people on the street, like when you see, like genuine demonstration of love or um thoughtfulness yeah like you, you, you, actually, yeah, I mean think about, like what my favorite show love on a spectrum you know what I? Mean because it's so pure and beautiful, and just people trying to find love.
Speaker 2:It's autistic. Love plus murder are your like?
Speaker 3:yeah, exactly. Um, it's down down with love too, down syndrome, people looking for love, and it is so beautiful it just makes me so happy life goes on.
Speaker 2:Has also speaking of the 80s. It was the 80s or 90 the 90s Life Goes On that show with Corky, who was like the first person really popularized in like sitcoms, who had Down Syndrome and fucking Corky was awesome.
Speaker 3:My first dot. I told you, I named my first dot Corky. I was obsessed, obsessed.
Speaker 2:Like I wanted to be Corky's sister.
Speaker 1:Yeah fuck Kelly man.
Speaker 2:Oh, poor Kelly, obsessed. I like I wanted to be quirky sister, yeah yeah, fuck kelly man.
Speaker 3:Oh, poor kelly just getting the package.
Speaker 2:She's figuring stuff out. Yeah, oh yeah, all right okay, figured that one out.
Speaker 3:I mean I could have dropped a lot of shit, but I wasn't going to you, know, I don't want to air other people's dirty laundry. Yeah, well, no, are we about to air everyone's dirty laundry?
Speaker 2:no, this is I mean. So we always talk about like how these, these cards have a, or we read into them yeah, in what ways are you prone to addiction?
Speaker 3:every way. I have a very, very severe, severe, addictive personality, yo tambien.
Speaker 2:Like even everything I do with intensity and I achieve a lot of things because of this intensity, but it also gives me extreme anxiety and it also annoys the fuck out of people. I'm very aware Sometimes I can't always control it. I try and recognize it and then pull back when I get that flash. But everything, yeah, it's either I'm drinking or I'm not drinking, I'm working out and I'm having every week. I mean also it's progressive loading and it's actually a training technique and it's great and I feel awesome. I mean also it's progressive loading and it's actually a training technique and it's great and I feel awesome. But like, yeah, like, everything I do is kind of like an addiction.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Well, you're very much all or nothing kind of person.
Speaker 2:Yes, you know what I mean. I don't really go halfway, yeah.
Speaker 3:Which I love. That about you, that's great.
Speaker 1:You know, but it's hard to maintain.
Speaker 3:But it's good that you recognize too that you can be overwhelming or intense. You know what I mean. A lot of people don't? They just kind of roll with it.
Speaker 2:So it's good that you have that voice inside of you which is why I try and pull back on drinking sometimes, because then that filter just disappears. And sometimes it's fun. I'm fucking hysterical, I'm the life of the party and then sometimes it's fun. I'm fucking hysterical, I'm the life of the party, and then sometimes it's like girl, it's a lot, you're loud, you're too emotional.
Speaker 2:Tone it down you know, and I don't like to say anyone's too emotional, but sometimes it's just the level of intensity and or not. Everyone wants to feel how you feel.
Speaker 3:Yeah, right, right, and that's something to remember.
Speaker 2:And so when I catch myself going there then I'm like whoa pull back. And it's taken many years to be that and I recognize I am an addictive personality, so I try and integrate healthy addictions. Yeah, which is great, you know. Yeah, like working, oh, I don't get in trouble.
Speaker 3:If I'm working, I don't make you know, I don't so right, and I'm a little, I'm a little different from you in that sense of I'm um, not intense per se, but very, very much you're a very injure.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm a binger, and I get very deep into self-medicating you know what I mean where I just want to be numb and dull if I can be numb and dull in one way or the other and just float through life. And I'm not saying that's a good thing. But I need people like. That's why I have people like you in my life to pull me out of it. Yeah, out of the like, because I could go perpetually like for probably the rest of my life and just die, yeah. But you know so I surround myself by people like you that are like get up, get out of bed, let's go. So I checked in with you yesterday.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna give you a face-to-face, be like hey, we're going tomorrow, we're meeting tomorrow, right, yep, cool. And then you know that I'm gonna hold you accountable, and you actually texted me first yeah today. Um, then we're like yeah, I'm tired, you're tired, but let's do it, because we always feel good afterwards exactly.
Speaker 3:You know it's it does just to be motivated in doing things that you know it's funny when on my days that I do get motivated, I feel so much better. You know it's just that first step of getting out of bed. And you know that first step of getting out of bed could be just going right into doing a drug. I mean, the first thing I do is take my meds right and then after that I get a cup of tea and then after that I probably smoke a bowl and then after that I, you know, maybe take wilbur for a walk. Yeah, you know, but like a lot of so I do have a very addictive personality. I've done probably every drug I can think of and fortunately I've only stuck to like two or three. Have you licked a frog? I have not licked a frog.
Speaker 2:Okay. No, so, so not I said every drug I could think of.
Speaker 3:Okay, well, I did think yeah you could think of licking frogs, yeah, but you know, ayahuasca, have you done? Ayahuasca, I have? Yep, I did, and like with a guide and stuff like a full yeah, we did at a yoga studio. Okay, um, but you know I don't know addiction's hard. I mean it runs in my family too. It's pretty deep on my father's side yeah uh I mean even your dad, right, yeah was but and I also noticed, like you know my brother and, but your dad's also obsessive addictive like 100% learning and all of these things.
Speaker 3:It's just like I mean yeah addiction doesn't have to be negative.
Speaker 2:It just is a focused intensity on an activity, an, an object, a thing. And there are people who don't have that, like Ken drinks. But I think it's more psych. It's not a physical thing, it's just like a habitual thing, it's just a practice that he's used to.
Speaker 3:Right, Well, they have like the functioning yeah, you know, functioning addicts versus.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't think Ken's an addict. Don't think ken is not. No, he's not an he doesn't have that personality nope, nope, and I mean we get obsessive, I get obsessive about things.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. Like, like I said, like we're going full circle the 80s stuff, right, john hughes like I'm not gonna watch one john hughes movie if I get obsessed, I'm gonna watch all of them, absolutely I'm gonna watch them all in a row and probably do a lot of drugs doing it. You know what I mean, but but that's my personality and I just have to be aware of that. Yeah, and I take medication now to help curb that and it really does help I can't remember the last time I've been blacked out drunk.
Speaker 3:I can't remember you know what I mean. Like I use. I mean you know, know me now well enough and over the years, where it's like I use but I'm very functioning, a very functioning user and I think a lot of that is that medication where I'm not so up and down I need to get back to anymore, microdosing.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, I you know having time I haven't done that I really. I mean, I was sober for six weeks when I did my first six weeks yeah um, so you know, potato, potato first, first or second, but it was a good experience.
Speaker 2:But, um, yeah, I think also just getting older and being able to recognize anxiety and how it manifests and how I control it, like, like drinking doesn't help, but like, yeah, just having like a baseline of something Like I'm, yeah, I would like to try it now, also drinking a little bit. I don't drink a whole lot anymore. But trying that you know is like like a balanced life, because I loved it sober Um cause I say it's mushrooms, it's not a drug and wasn't using it to get high.
Speaker 3:No, I mean microdosing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's what I'm saying Like whatever terms with. You know problems with the word sober, but for me that's what it was. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, I mean with the alcohol thing. You know it's interesting. I don't know if you've ever heard of the Sinclair effect, but it was. So I started off doing that with naltrexone, which is a drug that you take. Long story short, it's a drug that was originally made for opiate addiction. Okay, so you take it and you wouldn't get high off of it, off the opiate, off the heroin. But what was happening? Where a lot of these people were overdosing from naltrexone because enough trexone would wear off. But they found out it was great for alcoholics.
Speaker 3:So you would take this naltrexone maybe a half hour, the sinclair method, not effect, sorry. The sinclair method, okay, was, uh, you would take the drug about a half hour to an hour before you wanted to drink and you would drink less it just there's something in the drug and it worked, oh my God. For like a year I was on it and it was. It changed my life, it changed my relationship with alcohol. I, you know, I would just take this pill and I wouldn't take it daily. And you can take it daily. You know, I've got a couple of friends that do and um, but I would just take it on the days that I would drink, which, but I would just take it on the days that I would drink, which was basically every day, yeah, but it would be great, instead of drinking a bottle of wine, I would drink one glass of wine and it just blew my mind.
Speaker 3:And then when I went into this last year of when I was in my 40s, I went to treatment after my stint in Bellevue. Yeah, and it was called cdc and their goal was not to get you off drugs and to get you off alcohol, but to re-teach you how to to ingest it. What's the word I'm looking for? To like take it in in strides. So you know. Like I would go to treatment every tuesday and my therapist or psychiatrist would just say, or psychologist, sorry you, sorry, you know would say, like how much cocaine did you do? And I'd be like I did three lines and she's like, okay, next week try and do three bumps.
Speaker 3:And I get drug tested every week you know, and there would be drugs in all my urine. And I'd come back and I'd be like, okay, I did three bumps this time instead of three lines, and she'd be like that's fantastic, let's keep going. It was very interesting. I mean it didn't. I can't say how well it worked. I mean it, it worked to a certain extent because I'm here and I'm alive, yeah, you know. But, um, it was very interesting. I like that.
Speaker 2:Take on it yeah, and that's the thing like playing with alcohol. Sobriety, I mean, alcohol is my, my drug of choice. Um, and I do complete sober sense, and then like making conversations with myself.
Speaker 2:It's like I don't have to make a statement like, yes, sometimes I just want to like stop and clean, cool right and then it's just like I will drink if I feel like drinking, and just making it an intention, not a habit, and switching those gears like, oh cool, like I just want to sit on my stoop after work, I can have an na beer, I can have like a cup of fucking water or kombucha or whatever it's about the activity, it's not actually about having a drink, and once I like flip, that it's like oh, oh, okay, like that's cool.
Speaker 3:And then my anxiety was getting so bad that my body was like I don't feel good having this like alcohol well right you dump a depressant on a depressed person or you know and it works momentarily and then it doubles down and then it doubles down. It's like they don't get hangovers.
Speaker 2:I get guilt hangovers where I get like, which I feel is pretty common.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know. Yeah, For me I think a dog helped a lot too, to be honest, to have this level of responsibility. You know where I am, cause I am at the palace. I mean, I am at this bar almost every day, and what am?
Speaker 2:I doing, I'm probably drinking, or at least having a drink. You know I don't usually sit here sober Revolves around alcohol.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, but having a dog makes a huge difference because I want to go home to him. You know, I can't imagine like like I can't imagine what my life would have been like if I would have had kids. You know, I'd probably be like a super mom.
Speaker 2:But I don't know if I could have children. I feel like the worry I have about her, like if I had other people who were more independent and could make choices and put themselves in danger, like at least I can control her right like the environment and like if I had children who could be independent creatures.
Speaker 3:I don't, I don't know if I'd ever sleep yeah, I just like I think about that patients 100 and sorry, mom, like I get it now yeah, I know right, I'm such a, I was, I'm such a helicopter dog mom, I can't imagine what I feel like. I mean I brought her here.
Speaker 2:I was like it's my one day off, she's gonna. I went to the gym. I promised her I mean I brought her here. I was like it's my one day off, she's gonna. I went to the gym. I promised her I'd only be away for an hour and a half and then she's gonna be by my side.
Speaker 3:Yeah right, exactly, exactly, oh well okay, so now let's. Should we do a fuck, kilby? Oh, you want to choose. We could do opposite day and have you choose, since there's no guests yeah okay, fuck, all right, because I don't have an answer.
Speaker 2:Well, I told you that I was thinking about jennifer connelly, yeah, and labyrinth, yeah, when I was in my 80s revision vibe, and then I went on a rabbit hole about Jennifer, which I'll expand on. Okay, so, jennifer Connelly.
Speaker 3:It's harder than it.
Speaker 2:It's super hard. Gotta go fast. We're going to do Jennifer's. Jennifer Jason Lee, okay. Jennifer Connelly, okay, and then, um, uh, dirty dancing, isn't it, jennifer?
Speaker 3:beal. No, jennifer beal is flash dance oh, I love jennifer beal.
Speaker 2:All right, should we do jennifer beal. I think jennifer gray is okay jennifer beal I, she's okay, all right, this is a tough one. Oh, it's super tough. They're all All right. Should we do Jennifer Beal? I think Jennifer Grey is dirty dancing. Okay, jennifer Beal, she's okay, all right, this is a tough one.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's super tough.
Speaker 2:They're all so magical in so many different ways. Oh, the Jennys of the 80s.
Speaker 3:All right well once you threw in Beal, that changes everything. Fuck. Okay, I'm going to fuck Jennifer Beal because she is just absolutely saying remember, did you ever see the l word? She was I binged the fuck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she was in that, right, I it was. I was in grad school and I found a pirating site and I just don't like yeah, I just went hard in there, hard, so it was a lot of gato negro, yeah, and jennifer biel right.
Speaker 3:So I'm definitely going to fuck Jennifer Biel. Okay, oh my God, I don't. I guess I'm going to kill Jennifer Connelly and be Jennifer Jason Leigh. Why, well, I just love Jennifer Jason Leigh. I just think she's so weird and interesting and I love the roles she chooses. And I'm sure her life may or may not be a mess, but my life is kind of a mess, so I feel like I could slip into her skin quite seamlessly. And she's so successful and so talented I mean I mean very successful too but she was just she played.
Speaker 2:she played the mom of. Uh, there's a, there's a newer show a single drunk female. It's a young girl who's an alcoholic and Jennifer's her mom. Oh, it's like a sitcom-y kind of. I mean Dark, dark.
Speaker 3:A dark-a-me.
Speaker 1:A dark.
Speaker 3:All right, what's your?
Speaker 2:choice. Okay so, jennifer, too skinny now. A dark me, a dark me, All right, what's your choice? Okay so, jennifer, too skinny now. Love you, but it's a little scary. You're very, very skinny. You're gorgeous. You were in Labyrinth with David fucking Bowie and that's really fucking cool, and you've had this long career. I'm like a love letter. Yeah, I've always wanted to be like we, like we're close enough, like I could have been her. Um, flash dance, fucking love and like. That was one of my favorite movies it was actually one of my first records was the flash oh really soundtrack, that's funny uh-huh, that and, tiffany, I had two records, I think.
Speaker 1:I got from Kmart and the flea market.
Speaker 2:I think I will fuck Jennifer Beal because she's just stunning. She seems like an amazing person, but I'm gonna fuck her. I'm gonna be Jennifer Connelly okay, her husband's hot Paul. Bettany, I feel like she's got a good life and a not. She can go places. She's like famous, but I think she can still under the radar a little she can be a little normal, maybe.
Speaker 2:Um, and yeah, jennifer, jason Lee. I would either be her or Jennifer, but I also like being in Labyrinth would have been fucking cool. I would love that as a legacy to have. So, all right, my jenny's, my jenny's contribution.
Speaker 3:Um, I think, speaking of records, just to do a trifecta, we'll have to do this one next time. But uh, my, I think my three first records were debbie gibson, tiffany and paula Abdul. I was obsessed with Paula Abdul.
Speaker 2:I had a dance to Paula Abdul when it was like a jazz dance. Yeah To opposite to track.
Speaker 3:No, Straight up now, Tim. Straight up now Tim.
Speaker 2:I just want to be you. And I still know this. One move, boom and Tiffany. I got the letter that I was president of her fan club. Like everyone, I had a t-shirt that was my whole body and it was just a giant airbrush of her face. Oh, wow and I had this outfit. It was neon pink like uh nylon shorts.
Speaker 2:I had a neon pink t-shirt um clip oh, yeah where you would, we would fold your t-shirt into so it would be hanging like that, and then a neon pink little hat and I went to cedar point amusement park with this outfit and I was like I'm fucking cool, I'm president of tiffany's fan club and look at, like my outfit. I just was the shit, uh, so, yes, so tiffany was my first records. What was your first concert? I don't know, mine was new kids on the block, oh cute my dad, let me wear lipstick, which my mom, like, was very upset about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had jeans that I ripped with my brother's little hand tool kit. I shredded the knees on that, oh nice. And I had Wet n' Wild magenta lipstick on. Yeah, I think I was like 10.
Speaker 1:I still wear Wet n' Wild and I went with my dad.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it was the fucking coolest thing I know.
Speaker 3:It was probably the coolest thing he ever did. Carmen was like this, like Christian singer. I remember my dad taking me to that concert and it being like super scary. I think I cried because people were like. Oh, god is an awesome God and they're like doing in tongues and shit, and I think I freaked out Um. I didn't go to many concerts, but I performed a lot of concerts in our apartment or not, at our house, like I went. I was obsessed with kids incorporated kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly that's where fergie got her start I know a lot of them stacy and martica oh um soldier.
Speaker 3:Remember that soldiers all right we're just singing.
Speaker 1:We're cutting off all right.
Speaker 3:Well, thanks for listening to it.
Speaker 2:I wish I could see zelda's face she's like mom, she's like mom stop singing now, that's just me and you. This is not a sharing voice.
Speaker 3:I hope everyone had a great weekend and we're out. Peace, happy Sunday. This comes out on Wednesday reflect on your Sunday bye.
