What you're really working toward with mismatched libidos

Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want

Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want
What you're really working toward with mismatched libidos
Dec 01, 2025 Episode 97
Laura Jurgens, Ph.D.

Most people think the goal with mismatched libidos is making the lower-desire partner want more of the sex you've been having—or making the higher-desire partner want less. But that's not it. 

And it wouldn't work anyway. 

I walk through the actual goals when you're healing a desire gap. They boil down to maximizing sexual compatibility, emotional connection, and quality of communication, then deciding how to manage whatever gap, if any, is left over. This means focusing first on better quality sex, real emotional connection, and removing what's blocking desire. Then making clean decisions together. Plus, we'll talk about why magic bullets or quick fixes don't work, and what does. 

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Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide

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Wheel of Erotic emotions, go to: https://laurajurgens.com/wheel

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