Take Care Time - The Tales and Exhales of Caregivers

Encore: Take Care Time: Your Q & A Companion for Caregivers

Beverly Nance Season 1 Episode 39

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We answer questions from listeners.

Um, uh, Welcome back to take care of time, the tales and exhales of caregivers. Where we dive into the rural of caregiving with stories, insights, and plenty of heart. Today, we're doing a little something different instead of our usual format, we're turning our spotlight on you our listeners with a special Q and a episode. Over the past weeks since we started this podcast we've received, some fantastic questions from our community and I'm excited to address them today. From practical caregiving tips to behind the scenes podcast secrets, no topic is off limits. So let's dive right in. Uh huh. Our first question. Is from April. and April wants to know what inspired me to start take care of time podcast. So I think that's absolutely a great question. And what inspired me. A lot of people don't know, but you know, now that take care of time is an actual brand. So there was already a brand in place before we started the podcast. And the inspiration behind starting the take care of time podcasts stemmed from my deep passion for caregiving and desire to create a platform where caregivers can find support and inspiration and a sense of community. I really want to encourage caregivers to practice self care because caregiving is hard. I am the mother of an adult daughter with autism. So I've been her caregiver, her entire life. And I know firsthand the toll that it takes on you. And I hate to say it like. Toll, but it does take a toll on you. I've witnessed firsthand the challenges and the joys and the complexities that come along with caring for a loved one. I want to channel my experiences and my expertise into a podcast that not only educates and informs, but also provides a space for caregivers to feel seen and heard. So what better place than here? I want caregivers to be understood I thought through storytelling. Interviews discussions we could do it that way. Um, take care of time, also aims to shed light on the diverse experiences of caregivers because everybody's experience is not the same. So we offer practical advice and foster, a sense of solidarity among listeners.. Ultimately, My goal is to empower caregivers. To navigate their journey with confidence and compassion and resilience. So I hope that answers your question. The next question is from Constance. And Constance wants to know if I could share a little bit about my background. Um, Experiencing caregiving and yes, Constance I will be happy to do that. Um, like I said, my previous question, I am the mother of an adult daughter who has autism. She's 30 years old. She'll be 31 this year. The majority of my experience has come from being a mother. If you years ago, I took classes to become a certified caregiving consultant, educator and advocate. And those certifications have allowed me to expand my business. And become an author and meet other professionals in the field. So, thank you Constance for that question. Let's see here we have Joanne. She wants to know some of the common challenges caregivers face. And how do you address them on the podcast? Well, Joanne so far the podcast has just, been the tales so we've done two series for you to listen to. And, you know, we'd, haven't really expanded. real big yet, but we are, we have things that are coming in the pipeline. But, um, I will say this, that one of the most pressing issues facing caregivers today is the multitude. Of challenges they encounter on a daily basis and it's coming from all sides. You know, you have to navigate the healthcare systems and Your own emotional well-being. Caregivers often find themselves in unchartered territory sometimes, you know, it's not like, you can look down. The line in the future and say, okay, in this year, I'm going to become a caregiver. Sometimes you're just thrown into it. And I'm really kind of speaking for family caregivers. It's not like we. You know, we, a went and applied for this and we got accepted for the job. Sometimes you're just thrown into it. Your parent, your mother or father may get sick, or you may have a child born and they may have a disability. You don't know, you just don't know what's going to happen. So at take care of time. We aim to address these challenges, head on by providing practical advice, expert insights. Relatable stories that resonate with caregivers from all walks of life. The future episodes we'll tackle different aspects of caregiving. Whether it's coping with caregiver, burnout, advocating for your loved one's needs. from finding moments of joy, amiss the chaos. By sharing diverse perspectives and highlighting real life experiences. We hope to equip caregivers with the knowledge, the tools and support they need to navigate their caregiving journey with confidence and resilience, and we hope to educate and entertain as well. So the next question. It is an anonymous. I don't know why this is anonymous, but okay. How do you choose the topics and stories featured on your podcast? So the two stories, um, that we have done so far. We're secondhand stories. Someone told them to me. So, what I do is I go in and I changed the names. I changed the locations. Because if it were my story, I may not. Mind somebody telling my story. Second hand, some people do A lot of times there's guilt and their shame behind decisions that you've made. So it's just easier to leave off the real names and the real locations. You know, unless it's already something in the newspapers or something like that, that I don't mind. But, you know, so far we just had those two series and they've been about family caregiver experiences in choosing the wrong caregiver, which happens more often than you could know. Um, sometimes it turns out the horribly disastrous. And sometimes it's something that you can bounce back from. So the next question is what do I hope the listeners take away from listening to the podcast? Uh, increased awareness. I hope this podcast encourages listeners to become more aware. Of the challenges faced by caregivers and the complexities of caring for individuals with various health conditions, because. You know, Dementia may be different from autism or, and so forth. You know, Everybody's going to experience something different. And, you know, we hope to, get around to addressing all those. So the next question is from, Andrea. I think as the Andrea, if it's not, I apologize. I'm not real good on pronouncing names. Okay and she wants to know what do our listeners, what do I hope the listeners take away from this thing to the podcast? And, I would say that it's increased awareness. I want to encourage listeners to become more aware of the challenges faced by caregivers. A lot of that probably could be solved as lot of these agencies and. Um, How do I say this? A lot of this. challenges that we face are having to go in, try to apply for things and being turned down. Not being given enough information to properly apply for it.. A lot of times people need help in. If you're thrown into caregiving, you don't know. What is your next step? So, yeah, that's one of the things, another thing would be an empathy and understanding, which kind of falls under the number one. Um, foster empathy and understanding towards caregivers, their patients, and their families. Helping listeners recognize the emotional and physical and the financial toll of caregiving, because there is a financial toll with caregiving. It's expensive. Like that. Expensive. Practical insights, provide practical. Insights and tips. Resources and listeners can apply to their own lives, whether they are caregiving for themselves or supporting someone who is a caregiver. Inspiration, of course I would like to inspire listeners with stories of resilience, compassion, courage. showing I, them that even in the face of adversity, there's hope and strength. That can be found. Uh, we'd like to provide community and support, create a sense of community and support among listeners. Reminding them that they are not in this alone, everybody's pretty much heard the, um, the term that it takes a village. Usually they're talking about raising kids, but even with caregiving, it takes a village. Sometimes one person may know of resources that other person may have never heard of. So, you know, that's a good thing. Advocacy. I've been an advocate for my daughter. On many occasions. And her peer group as well. I like to encourage listeners, to advocate for policies and initiatives that support caregivers and improve access to healthcare and support services for patients and their families. And a lot of that comes, down To voting and finally, um, I really want to stress self care. Because that is so important. Taking care of yourself is essential for your well-being and your ability to provide quality care for others. Otherwise you may end up being the one. Needing care. Okay, so the next question. It's from John it's from a guy. And I will say, I'm just saying that because, um, the majority of caregivers are. Women. That's just the way it is. But John could be listening for another reason who we don't know. So John wants to know. What advice do you have for caregivers who may be struggling or feeling overwhelmed? That's a great question. I would definitely say seek support. I encourage caregivers to reach out, uh, For support from their family, friends and support groups or professional counselors even. Sharing feelings and experiences with others. Who understand they could provide emotional relief and practical advice. Great question, John, prioritize self care. Like I just said that. I emphasize the importance of selfcare for caregivers, and encourage them to carve out time for activities that they enjoy. If you give up everything that you enjoy, believe me, it's not going to be, it's not going to be long before. You're wallowing in depression. Practice a relaxation techniques. Maintain a healthy lifestyle and seek respite when needed. It's hard to find respite. I'm dealing with that myself right now. But sometimes you need a break and you have to take your breaks If you look on my website, there is a blog that I put up a while ago about, Respite at home and might not be able to his title, but that's what it is. It's about finding a spot in your home. That's just for you. Like for me, it's my office. I come up to my office. I have a lock on the door. Yes. Yes. I have a lock. With the key on the door, because this is just my space. And when I come in here, I can just feel the weight of the world lifted off of me. So create your, um, if you can't get outside, respite, create a space in your home for respite. Maybe you can have somebody come in. For one day a month. Just give you a break. You might just want to go on a walk. You'd be surprised how just doing something for yourself makes you exhale is part of the title of this podcast gives you that exhale. So you, another thing would be to set realistic expectations. Delegate responsibilities. I would suggest that caregivers delegate tasks to others when possible. Whether it's household chores, caregiving duties, or administrative tasks, enlisting the help of family and friends. Or professional caregivers can lighten the load. Don't try to take on everything. Yourself or else you will be on the fast highway to burnout. Educate yourself For instance, I had to educate myself on autism. Well, my daughter was diagnosed with autism while. I did was cry. She was the first person I've ever known that had autism. I didn't even know what autism was. So I had to educate myself and find out. What was available out there? Who could I talk to? You have to go and do that. Nobody's going to do it for you. You have to do it. And if you need to seek professional help. Don't be ashamed. There are therapists, counselors, and support groups that are waiting for you. They got a seat for you. And you can get some that are specialized in caregiver support. They can provide valuable assistance and guidance. Don't be adverse to it. Try it, if you like it, this is one thing, but at least give it a try. Stay connected. Don't just. Disconnect from people. I especially do that during the pandemic. Um, A lot of times, connection with people and having a conversation. It can mean the world to you. You could change your whole day. Celebrate your small victories. Don't just go down the rabbit hole and like, oh, woe is me. Sometimes you're going to have small victories. I know my daughter, she first learned how to say a word. She sees. A few words now. Those were small victories, but I celebrated those. And I encourage all caregivers to celebrate and acknowledge the small victories Okay. So I do have some questions about the previous, podcasts series that we did. It was about Sarah who stole the money from Mr. Johnson. And so someone else wanted to know what motivated Sarah to keep stealing money. And I was just telling you it's gambling. She became a gambling addict. Let me say this. There are not a lot of gambling addicts in this world. But there are some. I'm not shamed to say I used to play the horse since I usually go out to the racetrack. Del Mar San Anita and Hollywood park when it was open. And I would, I loved playing the race track. If they had a racetrack where I live now, I will be playing horses, but I'm not a gambling addict. Sarah stole money to keep gambling. This is what she did. She took Mr. Johnson's money. And rationalized that she was only borrowing the money. To cover her gambling expenses. However, If they kept piling up and then. She was unable to pay it back. I don't even think she got to that point. So, yeah, that is what motivated Sarah. It was her addiction to gambling. So this series was kind of. About Sarah's gambling. And it also, it was about Mr. Johnson who had Parkinson's disease, but, you know, it was his money. So therefore it was financial exploitation on Sarah's part. Okay. The next question was. In hindsight, what red flags were, Mr. Johnson's family, like it says in hindsight, what red flags should Mr. Johnson's family have noticed earlier and what can other families learn from their experience? Great question. Because things always are in hindsight. Mr. Johnson's daughter's decision to press charges against Sarah reflect. The commitment to seeking justice and holding her accountable for her actions and by filing a formal complaint and cooperating with law enforcement. They are taking the necessary steps to ensure that Sarah. This is legal consequences for her financial exploitation of their father. And this serves as a deterrent to others who may contemplate similar acts of elder financial abuse. Sending a clear message that such behavior will not be tolerated. Sometimes you'll see these stories on the news where somebody either stole money or they stole pills or they took advantage of the person that they're posted to be taken care of. So. Pursuing charges it, they may help Mr. Johnson's family recover some of the stolen funds maybe. You know, the judge, did say that she has to pay restitution, but of course there was. Broke now I'm not going to say broke, but if you're stealing money, you're probably broke. So. Additionally. Their overall decision. It demonstrates their dedication to protect their father's rights and seeking accountability or the harm inflicted upon him. But that's in hindsight. Well, what could they have done to begin with because sometimes, you know, you have older parents. They don't think that their money is your business. So they don't want, you know, you all in their business. But. Looking back. On Mr. Johnson and Sarah storyline. What lessons can kill you learn from that. The primary takeaway from each episode is the importance of vigilance and proactive measures. If the family will let you. Take over, not take over, but. If the family will let you kind of monitor. Their bank accounts. You know, that's a hard thing. Sometimes parents, they don't want to give up. There that information they don't want to give their driver's license. All. You're doing it out of love, but they're thinking, oh my God, you're trying to put me out to pasture. And that's not the case. So, yeah. With the person's permission, like Mr. Johnson's daughters, With his permission could have. Got their names on his bank accounts, or at least had the bank statements mailed to their homes where they can go over and see. Where the abuse started and is, you know, is this transaction. Exploitative or do you know that could have happened? But through the stories of shared listeners and are reminded of all the prevalence and the devastating impact of elder financial abuse, it's out there. I hear it on the news all the time. By raising awareness of common tactics used by perpetrators, such as caregivers and gambling addicts. Listeners are empowered to recognize the warning signs and take preventative action. Additionally, the episodes highlight the significance of fostering open communication with your family, establishing safeguards and seeking professional support when needed. Ultimately the goal is to inspire and, to prioritize the wellbeing and financial security of their elderly relatives, advocating for their rights and implementing strategies to safeguard their assets from exploitation. And it's not just. Sarah, the caregivers coming over to the house, it could have been. A financial advisor. It could be family members. You just never know. These will thieve. Let me put it like that. Yeah, let me give you 10 ways that you can guard against elder financial abuse. Number one stay involved and maintain open communications with your elderly relatives about their finances. If they'll let you if there's not a whole lot of pushback, just get involved with it. Number two, set up regular meetings to review financial statements and transactions. I would suggest as done monthly. Especially, if you get a. If they're getting a retirement check or social security, something that is delivered to them monthly, why not set up? A. Review. For financial statements, monthly. Number three would be to establish a durable power of attorney for financial matters with a trusted individual. If again, if it's your parents, if they'll, if they'll allow you to. Uh, that would be a great idea. Number four would be to monitor your bank accounts and credit card statements for unusual activity. Sometimes they would just stack mail. Not really looking at it. So, yeah. If you get something from your bank, your credit card statement, open that up and see what it is and go line by line and make sure it's something that they approved and not some fraudulent activity. There's so much of that going on nowadays. You would well, I'm sure you see the news stories. Number five would be to implement security measures, such as passwords and security questions for financial accounts. And if they'll allow it. Have their passwords. So you can just kind of look over their shoulders if you're not in town where you can see. If you guys are not in the same city, Or even state where you can put your hands on their mail. Monitor it online. Number six. Be cautious of unsolicited offers, scams or requests for personal financial information. We were at one time, my dad, I forget the name of the company, but he bought a bunch of these patties pants were like paper thin. And somehow he got on their subscription list. They were just sending him these pants every month. Like, what are you doing? And the pants. We're just like tissue. There were so thin. They took advantage of him and put him on a subscription plan when he was just trying to order one pair of pants. Those things can happen. Number seven, educate elderly relatives about common scams and warnings of financial abuse. You see it on the news all the time people are scamming and you know, sometimes they'll call and they'll say, uh, we have your grandchild. They're in jail or something like that. They have like a little AI voice, you know? My mom in jail. Um, Next thing, you know, they've wiped out your bank account. So, yeah. Educate your relatives about that. Number eight. Consider consolidating your financial accounts and simplifying investments to reduce vulnerability. Your stuff is with their stuff. If they'll allow it, you know, I keep saying if they'll allow it because you know, our parents are prideful. By parents went along with me, but. Elderly people they're prideful. They. Probably feel like, you know, don't worry about it. I can take care of my own stuff meanwhile, you're like Mr. Johnson, you're down 40,000, some dollars. Number nine. Uh, seek professional advice from financial planners or elder law attorneys on protective measures. They probably have way more information than I'm telling you. You could probably give you a consultation to tell you how to protect your parents or your elderly relatives. They've seen it all too. Number 10 report, any suspicious financial abuse to authorities and seek legal recourse of necessary? I would absolutely. Had these people charged because otherwise they will just keep them, they'll go from your dad to her mom and they'll just keep going and going and going. It's like they have all day to just feel and scam. So you gotta be careful about stuff like that. So those are my tens strategies. Want to thank and appreciate all of you for coming to our podcast so far. Please like, and share, and you can rate it if you want. And also you next week until then take care. Uh huh.