Encore: Clutter 2

Transcript

0:01

Welcome back to clutter. In our last episode. We explored the harrowing day. Helen Rutledge was discovered amidst her hoarded, treasures, collapsing, and sparking a full scale emergency response. Today, we'd delve deeper. Into the emotional and logistical complexities faced by families, dealing with hoarding. We open with Robert Helen's son. As he prepares to return to New Jersey grappling with realities of his mother's mild stroke. And the home that almost claimed her life. Hoarding is a persistent difficulty discarding or parting with possessions because of a perceived need to have them individuals with hoarding disorder may accumulate items to the point that the spaces within their homes are cluttered and no longer usable for their intended purposes. This behavior can lead to significant distress or impairment in social. Occupational or other important areas of functioning. The items hoard. It can vary and while they may appear worthless or accessive to others. To the person with hoarding disorder. These possessions feel necessary and valuable. Let's get started with today's episode. Uh, Uh, Uh, In the dim early morning light of Berkeley, California. Robert Rutledge sits at his dining room, table and mug still steamy hot coffee in his hand. The quiet, hum the city, waking up filters through the window. But his mind is miles away in New Jersey. The recent calls from his mother's care team of her doctor. A social worker and DeeDee the caregiver have grown increasingly urgent. Each one, painting a more concerning picture of his mother's living situation and her health. It's clear now. And phone call won't be enough this time he needs to see for himself. To understand what's happening. As he takes his final sip, the decision solidifies, he pulls out his phone. His fingers gently, deafly navigating to the airline app, flights to New Jersey. He'll need one as soon as possible. The weight of his responsibilities as a son long managed from a distance. Now calls him back to this place he wants called home. As a sun crest. The horizon casting a golden glow over the city. Robert knows that today marks the start of a crucial journey, not just a place, but back to his roots. He has long since left behind. Robert decides to let his administrative assistant help him with his travel plans. He's too flustered. Robert's wife. interest the room. She moves quickly, still groggy from sleep. And reaches for the coffee pot, pouring herself a cup. She notices the serious expression on her husband. Robert's face. Morning. You're up early everything. Okay. Robert takes a deep breath, turning to face her as he leans back against the kitchen counter. Anjali, I've been thinking a lot about the calls from DeeDee and the social worker. It's getting worse with mom. She's getting discharged, but her house, her health is just not good. I think I need to go to New Jersey and see for myself, what's really going on. Anjalis expression shifts from sleepy to concerned as she takes a sip of her coffee, her eyes meeting his. That sounds serious. Do you want me to come with you? No, no, I'll handle it. I might need to stay there a bit longer, sort things out, maybe organize some proper care or a cleanup. I don't want to pull you away. from your work. And you might be needed at the company. Of course, whatever you need, I'm here to support you. This makes sure you're prepared though. We should think about who can help you navigate all this with your mom? Robert appreciates her steady support, feeling a bit more grounded with her by his side. Thanks. I'll call some local services. From there and see if I can set up a meeting with a few care agencies. And maybe get a legal advisor to discuss the hoarding situation. Good idea. And let me know what you find out. We'll figure out. The next steps together. She reaches out to squeeze his head, a silent gesture of solidarity. I will. And I'll keep you updated every day. Make sure that you do and be safe. Okay. Always. As Anjali refills, her cup. They both know this trip is more than just a check-in. It's about taking the steps to ensure health and safety and wellbeing. As Robert prepares for his journey, the weight of responsibility is tempered by the support of his family. Ready to tackle the challenges that lie ahead. Anjalis last visit to Helen's home in New Jersey. She experienced firsthand the challenging environment created by Helen's hoarding. The visit, which took place nearly two years ago was intended to be a supportive family check-in but turned into a stressful ordeal that left a lasting impression on Anjali the house was in a state of severe disarray. Piles of newspapers books. and miscellaneous items, clutter, every available space. Making it difficult to navigate through the rooms. The air was stale. Heavy with the mustiness of untouched corners. Anjali, accustomed to maintaining a tidy and organized home, found the chaos overwhelming. Her daughter, then only five clinged to her side. Wide-eyed and uneasy in the cramped crowded space. Anjali tried to hide her discomfort for the sake of Helen who seemed oblivious to the extent of her clutter. She offered to help clean up. But Helen was quick to dismiss her offers, insisting. Everything was where it needed to be. Anjali could see the strain on Robert's face as he navigated the delicate balance between respecting his mother's autonomy and addressing the safety concerns. As I left Helen's house and jelly express her concerns to Robert. She worried about the safety hazards, not just for Helen, but for any visitors, particularly their young daughter. The visit had a sobering effect on Anjali. She realized that without significant intervention Helens living conditions would only deteriorate. She researched hoarding cleanup services and mental health support. But knew that convincing, Helen to accept help would be difficult. Anjalis concern for Helen well-being with genuine, but she also felt relieved that they lived far away to not have to confront the situation daily. Anjali last visit. Reinforced her belief in the need for clear boundaries to protect her family's wellbeing while supporting Helen from a distance. It also deepened to our appreciation for Robert's efforts to handle his mother's complex issues. Highlighting the emotional toll. It took on him. Now as Robert prepares for another trip to New Jersey Anjali feels a complex mix of relief and concern. She's relieved that she and her daughter won't have to face the stressful environment again, but she's also concerned for Robert's emotional state and Helen's health. Anjali plans to support Robert by managing communications from home. Coordinating with local services. And ensuring that Robert has the emotional support he needs while he's away. Robert calls his administrative assistant, Marie. Marie. Do you have a minute? I need some help organizing my trip to New Jersey. Of course, Mr. Rutledge. What do you need? I need to leave as soon as possible. Could you book a flight for me and I'll need a rental car and a hotel close by my mother's place in cherry hill. I'll get right on that. When would you like to return? I'm not sure yet. lets, leave the return date open for now. I might need to stay longer. Depending on how things go with my mom. Understood. I'll make sure everything is refundable or changeable without fees. Thanks. Marie also, I'm going to be working remotely. But I need you to keep things running smoothly here. If any issues come up. That you or the team can't handle Anjali will be in the office. She's up to speed on most other projects and can make decisions in my absence. Got it. I'll make sure everyone knows to go to Anjali if they need anything. Should I forward any specific types of emails to you directly or handle everything through her? Filter anything urgent to me, but Anjali can handle the day-to-day decisions. I trust her judgment. Perfect. I'll take care of it. Safe travels, Mr. Rutledge. And we'll keep everything here in order. Call us if you need anything while you're away. I will. And thanks, Marie. I really appreciate your help. Any time, take care of what's important. We've got everything covered here. Robert ends the call and begins to pack. As Robert his should the airport, his mind is in a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. Sitting quietly in the back of the cab, he watches the familiar, cityscape of Berkeley pass by feeling a mixture of anxiety and urgency. Robert thinks about the last phone call from DeeDee describing mother's deteriorating condition and the overwhelming state of her house. He feels a Pang of guilt for not being there for not being more proactive. Wondering if he could have intervened sooner to prevent his mother's environment from becoming hazardous. As he approaches the airport. Robert's thoughts shift to the immediate task ahead. He knows this trip. Isn't just about checking in on his mother is about making tough decisions. Regarding her care and living situation. The possibility of having to convince her to accept, help. Possibly even relocating her. Or significantly altering her living conditions weighs heavy on him. amiss. These pressing concerns. Robert also contemplates the personal strain. He reflects on his relationship with his mother strained by distance and her critical view of his life choices. The trip could be a turning point for better or worse. And he's bracing for emotionally charged interactions. There's also the practical side of things. The occupies is mine. Robert considers the legal and financial implications of managing his mother's affairs. The potential need for legal counsel and the logistics, or possibly clearing out her house. He thinks about the conversations he'll need to have, we have local services and how best to approach the delicate topic of hoarding with his mother without alienating her. Throughout his journey to the airport. And as he waits board his flight. Robert find some comfort in knowing Anjali supports him. Her understanding. And proactive steps she's taken to manage things back home, allow him to focus on the issues at hand. He plans to keep her updated and draw on her strength and insights during his stay in New Jersey. As Robert boards has flight and settles into his seat. He takes a deep breath. Trying to center himself. He's about to confront one of the most challenging situations in his life. And while the journey ahead is daunting. He is determined to navigate it with compassion and resolve for his mother's sake. Welcome to Part 5 of my Storytelling video series on Forensic Science! and I hope you enjoy the rest of the video! New Jersey. Careful now, Helen, let's take it slow.. Know my house DeeDee I'll be fine. As they enter the clutter at home, Helen's relief. It being back clashes with DeeDees concern over her visibly unsafe environment. The pathways are still narrow. The stacks of newspapers, books, and miscellaneous items. Teeter precariously. Helen. The doctor mentioned that. We really need to think about making some changes around here for your safety. Maybe just clear some of the walkways a bit more. Helen bristled at the suggestion. I've lived here like this for years. I don't need anything moved. Around just because of one little incident. DeeDee follows closely her eyes, scanning the environment, noting the risk, each pile poses. She knows this conversation needs a gentle approach. But also a firm resolution. I understand this is your home and you still love things just the way they are, but maybe we could start small, just the hallways. I can make some room for the physical therapist to have some room to help you. With your rehabilitation and for your peace of mind, Helen. Um, maybe we'll see, but though, but no throwing things away. Not throwing anything out without asking me first. Of course, of course, Helen. We'll do it your way. We'll do it together. Just a little at a time. as they settle into the evening, DeeDee makes a mental note to double-check the time of Robert's arrival. The challenge, isn't just the physical clutter, but the emotional hold it has on Helen. Is going to require a patience understanding and a coordinated effort to ensure healing, safety, and wellbeing without causing distress. DeeDee prepare some tea. Bringing it to Helen who sits a miss her possessions, a queen. In her crowded castle, her face, a mix of defiance and vulnerability. Here's your T Helen. Let's have a nice quiet evening. And we can talk about everything slowly together. Thank you Dee. What time did Robert say his plane would arrive? Maybe it wouldn't hurt to clean up a little bit. Maybe we could clean up Robert's old room. Who needs somewhere to sleep when he gets here. Dee Dee pauses, choosing her words carefully. Actually Helen Robert will be staying at a hotel this time. He thought it might be easier while everything is getting sorted out here. Helen looks surprised a flicker a disappointment crossing her features before she masked it with a nod, trying to hide her emotions behind a pragmatic facade. Well, that might be for the best, no space here. Anyway, with all this mess. DeeDee senses the hurt behind Helen's dismissive tone. She moves closer, sitting down next to Helen, trying to bridge the gap with understanding. He's really coming to help Helen. He wants to make sure you're comfortable and safe here. It's not about the space. It's about making sure you have what you need. Helen sips, her tea the steam clouding for a moment before she responds her voice softer. I know it's just hard having him see me, see the house like this. He cares about you, Helen. He's not here to judge. We can work together to clear some space, make things a bit more manageable. How about we start with just one area, maybe the living room. Helen nods slowly. The idea of incremental changes, seemingly less daunting. Than it. Overwhelming overhaul. Maybe. That would be okay. Just not too much at once. Of course. We'll take it one step at a time. Like I said together. After an uneventful flight, Robert Rutledge lands in New Jersey. The familiar sights and sounds of the east coast are both comforting and unsettling as he steps off the plane and makes his way to the car rental agency. He navigates a process with precise ease. His mind already on the task that await him. Picking up a mid-sized car. Robert drives through the dusky streets. Towards his hotel. The drive gives him time to transition from the role of a tech entrepreneur to that of a son returning to face his family's challenges. The quiet hum of the car on the road allows him a few moments of introspection. Upon checking into his hotel. Robert takes a moment to unpack and settle into his temporary space. The room is neat and impersonal a stark contrast to the cluttered environment of his mother's home. He is preparing to confront. With a heavy sigh, he decides to give himself the evening to rest knowing the emotional and physical work that lies ahead. He understands the importance of starting the next day with renewed energy and a clear mind. Sitting on the edge of his bed. Robert pulls out his phone and sends a quick message to DeeDee. To let her know that he has arrived safety and we'll come by his mother's house in the morning. He also sends a reassuring text to Anjeli. Sharing his safe arrival and his plan for the next day. That night, Robert has a quiet dinner alone in the hotel restaurant. Reflecting on his strategy for the days ahead, he plans to access the situation firsthand. Support DeeDee with the cleanup efforts, and most importantly, have a candid conversation with his mother about her health and the future. As he returned to his room, the weight of his responsibilities settles, deeper, mainly with the resolve to take positive actions. Lying in bed. Robert thinks about his mother, the home that shaped him and the delicate conversations that await he drifts off to sleep with a plan forming. Ready to face, whatever the next day might bring. The next morning promises a fresh start and Robert is determined to make the most of his visit. Aiming to bring order to chaos and mend the strain threads of family bonds. Next week on clutter. The stakes rise as Robert Rutledge steps into his childhood home for the first time in years. confronted by the overwhelming reality of his mother's hoarding. As Robert and DeeDee team up to tackle the chaos. Don't miss an episode filled with challenges. And heartfelt moments as a Rutledge family takes the crucial steps towards reconciliation and recovery. Tune in to clutter next week. For a full episode of discovery confrontation and the power of letting go. As we unravel the compelling narratives on cluttered. We are reminded of the profound. Emotional demands placed on caregivers. its essential to remember that taking care of yourself, is just as important as taking care of others. That's why we have created the Take Care Time respite box. delivered bi-monthly each take care of time. Respite box. Is carefully filled with items to nourish your body and soul. Enjoy soothing teas that calm the mind. Aromatic candles. To set a tranquil atmosphere. Luxurious skincare products. to pamper yourself and inspirational books that offer wisdom and comfort. Subscribe today and give yourself the gift of relaxation and rejuvenation. Because when you're recharged. You're more effective, more present and more capable of handling the challenges of caregiving. The Take Care Time Respite Box because you deserve to take care to. Visit takecaretime.com to order yours today. Because taking care of yourself is part of taking care of others. Please note that this episode features reenactments and dramatize details. While in most cases, the exact verbatim dialogue may not be known. All dramatizations are grounded in research. To respect the privacy and confidentiality of individuals. Involved. Names and some identifying details have been changed. Till next week. Take care. Uh, Uh, Uh,