The Journey to Freedom Podcast
Journey to Freedom serves as an exclusive extension of the Living Boldly with Purpose podcast series—a platform that inspires powerful transformation and growth. Journey freedom is a podcast hosted by Brian E. Arnold. The Journey to Freedom is an our best life blueprint exclusively designed for black men where we create a foundational freedom plan. There are five pillars: Identity, Trust, Finances, Health and Faith.
The Journey to Freedom Podcast
You don't need to see the entire staircase to take the first step. Ashley's Journey to Monster Success
Ashley, president-elect of the National Association of Real Estate Brokers (NAREB), takes us through his remarkable journey from early banking career to becoming a successful real estate entrepreneur while maintaining his faith, family values, and commitment to community.
Growing up in a single-mother household, Ashley learned the uncompromising value of showing up consistently—a principle that would become the foundation of his professional life. "It was either school or the hospital. Where are we going?" he recalls his mother saying, instilling a work ethic that prepared him for future success. After starting in banking and pivoting to mortgages following a bank robbery, he has now built a thriving real estate business operating across multiple states over the past 25 years.
What sets Ashley apart isn't just his professional accomplishments but his approach to success. "I think the most important thing in entrepreneurship is to really be humble, to ask the questions," he shares candidly. This refreshing perspective challenges the notion that leaders must always project certainty, instead advocating for continuous learning and mentorship at every stage of one's career. As a father of three, he also speaks powerfully about how parenthood transformed his outlook, describing it as "the greatest accomplishment I've ever had."
Ashley offers compelling insights on homeownership as a path to generational wealth, addressing personal trauma, embracing abundance over scarcity, and developing resilience through faith. His practical advice ranges from financial wisdom ("If you can't buy it 10 times, don't buy it") to overcoming mental barriers ("It's coldest at night right before the sun rises"). Whether you're struggling with feeling stuck, considering property investment, or seeking to balance ambition with personal fulfillment, this conversation provides both inspiration and practical strategies from someone who has walked the path.
Don't miss this powerful episode filled with authentic wisdom on navigating success while staying grounded in what truly matters. Subscribe, share, and join us on this journey to freedom.
We overthink ourselves and then we feel stuck in a situation. Take one thing at a time. Focus on the next step, understanding the long goal. The sacrifices today will pay off for tomorrow. That will help a lot of us to really move forward.
Speaker 2:Okay, welcome to another edition of the Journey to Freedom podcast. And I'm Dr B, I'm your host, and there's days where I say I'm excited because I guess I'm always excited about the guests that I have but then there's days where I just go I can't wait to do this podcast, I can't wait to do this show, and today is one of those days. That last year Ashley and I were able to get together and we met each other over at the NARAB convention that was in New Orleans and it was unbelievable. I can't wait to go back this year. I know it's going to be in LA. You'll probably talk about that a little bit, but we just we got to have some dialogue and we got to talk and my podcast was at the infancies at the time. We talked, you know, over the summer and you know I probably had 50 to 60 episodes that are. You know we're now over 170 episodes that we have put together of black men who are doing a whole lot to make this world a different place.
Speaker 2:You know this, last January, at the end of January, I was able to take 18 of the men that we talked to. We took them to Alabama for a civil rights victory tour and that was about transformational and I felt like I walked back into the 1970s and you know, we were in Birmingham, went from Birmingham and we went to Selma and then we end up at Montgomery at the Equal Justice Museum. But to have some of these guys I had two of my son and my son-in-law. One lives in Rancho Cucamonga, one lives in Rialto. They were able to fly out and go there lives in Rancho Cucamonga, one lives in Rialto. They were able to fly out and go there.
Speaker 2:And even though I've talked about stuff over a lifetime, it's different when you have adult children that are now experiencing. You know the things that have went on, the things that we, the shoulders of you, know the giants that we stand on as we move forward and as we do things. And Journey to Freedom came from me just going to a trust leadership conference where there was a room where we were learning about trust. There was 500 people there and there are about 30 folks that are people of color that were in the room and I'm like why is our community not accessing this information and why are we not benefiting and flourishing as a result? And that came back and that's what began the Journey to Freedom podcast and since then it's been successful man after successful man. Who's this little man that have done stuff? We even started a show called why Love Waits on Sunday nights where we're talking about it.
Speaker 2:I actually don't know if you know the statistic, but there's about 49.8% of Black women who are over the age of 40 have never been married, and there's an issue with our families and there's an issue with you know, because it wasn't like that in the 40s and 50s and the 60s but there wasn't as much integration and there was segregation and you know the things our kids were doing well in schools, and then 75% of that 50% have at least one child, and so we're thinking about where are men at in the you know, growing kids, and one of the themes that I found from this podcast is that men do want to take care of their kids. Men do want the responsibility Men do want to provide. It just sometimes seems like there's this bad rap that sometimes we get, and so hence why you're on the show.
Speaker 2:Ashley is the president-elect of the NARAB Association, which is the National Association of Real Estate Brokers, which is the Black Realist, and I want you to learn a lot about it, and we'll talk about some websites to go to uh at the end, but he's also a very successful uh businessman that lives in southern california and has just done some amazing things and, like all of our guests, I've asked him to tell his story first, because it's one thing to know what we do. It's another thing to know who we are and where we came from and how we got, because the other theme actually that that that folks have said is I needed to see somebody who looked like me doing whatever, even close to doing whatever, to know that I could do that. Now myself I would say, oh, I don't need that, I don't need to, I don't need to see people. But then I go to these events like the trust edge and I find myself counting there.
Speaker 2:They want you and I find myself going to talk to people, so I pretend like I don't care, but it does matter, and then I get to go to a place like NARAB and go. I don't need to count anybody, we're here, we're home, and so thank you for being willing to be on, thank you for having these conversations that you have offline with other folks, and please go ahead and tell your story, and then we'll just kind of chop it up after that.
Speaker 1:No, dr B, first let me just thank you for inviting me out and then calling me successful. I appreciate the compliment there. You know, obviously it's hard work every day, and so I'm just thankful to God to even be here, to be here today. But I will say, you know, my story starts and I won't go too long because I could ramble on my story for a while, but I just kind of hit some highlights. You know, I graduated high school and entered the workforce right away, you know, got into banking.
Speaker 1:I've been working since I was 14 and a half years old or whatnot, and then so when I graduated, I got into banking, and then I did that for some years while I was going to college and the bank ultimately was robbed one day, and so they allowed us to be retrained, and so I left the teller line and then went and learned mortgages, and so I've been doing mortgages now for over 25 years, and then I also entered into real estate during that time as well.
Speaker 1:So I was in my early 20s doing that, learning as well as just really trying to soak up all the information that I could in this particular industry. I fell into it a little bit, as opposed to this being something that I wanted to do, but I fell in love with it because we're able to help so many people get into homeownership, which obviously creates generational wealth.
Speaker 1:So fast forward a little bit, 2007 or so. I ended up opening up a company and expanding my company there. I did some servicing for some time where people were in foreclosure, really trying to help them save their homes, and I found that it was very challenging to save people once they were so far behind. So I really wanted to deal with it more on the origination side, really learn how to help people on the front side so that way they didn't run into these problems on the backside, and so I've been doing real estate and mortgages for that amount of time.
Speaker 1:As you stated, I am the president elect of the National Association of Real Estate Brokers. We are a organization that was founded in 1947 during a time where blacks were not allowed to practice real estate openly in a lot of areas. We couldn't purchase properties in many areas, so it just allowed. So we've been fighting for democracy in housing ever since then and I've joined the organization in late areas. So we've been fighting for democracy in housing ever since then and I've joined the organization in late 2009,.
Speaker 1:Truly, as a volunteer organization was able to service and give a lot of my time and efforts to that, really was able to learn from a lot of ICON members, which I denote a lot of my success in business just being a part of a volunteer organization such as NAGRAP. And so now we are here today, we have our annual convention in July, at which time I'll be sworn in as the president of the organization and there's so much to discuss in terms of housing, the current administration and all those things. But that's pretty much an overview of my story. I'm the broker owner of LA Top Broker right here in Los Angeles. We land in California, texas, louisiana, georgia and we do real estate throughout the state of California.
Speaker 1:So I'm very excited to be here.
Speaker 2:So cool when I talk about identity and thinking about the person that we have become and you know, you don't just end up, you know, show up out of high school or show up, you know, and you are now president elect of a national organization. What are some things that you had to do to work on your identity and who were you? Like you say, out of high school, I went straight to work. You know where we sometimes we talk about hey, you got to go to get this degree, or you got to go to this trade school, or you got to do this and this. How did that transpire for you to become the person that you are?
Speaker 1:today. You know, I was raised in a single mother household, and so my mother was really disciplined in terms of making sure we got up and we went to work and we went to school. That's what we did. It was no questions about it. You know it wasn't a sneeze, and I get to stay home. It was like you had to be. It was either school or the hospital. Where are we going?
Speaker 1:So I think that that really it parted into my work ethics. You know, no matter what you got to show up, and I think that's a big part of it. So my identity has always been to show up, even if you don't know, you're not comfortable, whatever it is, most of the job is really showing up and being present, and so those are the things that I really try to instill into my children now is that you know we show up. We've got to get up in the morning and be present, and so I'm seeing that manifest in them and I'm excited about that. But that's pretty much. I would say that that's something that my mother instilled in me at a very, very young age that no matter what, you have to show up.
Speaker 2:It sounds like you had an incredibly amazing mom that you should have Were there, other mentors or people around. Did you grow up in LA or did you grow up in another part of the country?
Speaker 1:Actually, you said your son is in Rialto. I actually grew up in Rialto, pomona, rialto, bouncing back and forth. My grandmother was very instrumental in my life, but in terms of like the molding and the mentoring and that as a young man, I would say my church community, because that was another thing. Sunday morning we were going to church, no matter what, and then also I played sports. So getting that competitive edge, that energy and all of that out of there, I was a basketball player throughout high school. I still think I can get out there, but I think my mind is more than my body at this stage in my life. But I still will take on a challenge anywhere.
Speaker 2:So but yeah.
Speaker 1:I think that those my coaches and everything like really were a mentor and I keep in contact with everyone still to this day.
Speaker 2:Did you go to high school out in Rialto? I did.
Speaker 1:I actually went to Bloomington High School, which is like on south of Rialto area.
Speaker 2:I taught at Cal State, san Bernardino, for several years and so I know the area really well, and then UC Riverside and ended up at a Pacific University as a professor there. So I know, know the area well when I think about you know the, the identity and and and what we move in and moving up. You kind of talked about you know your coaches and the things. Was there anything like as a dream or things that you wanted to be? You know you probably didn't dream I'm going to go be the president of elective. You know NARAP someday when you were in high school, but what were some of you know the dreams that you had that you were able to kind of say, ok, these are things that I think I can achieve. I want to achieve. What did that look like?
Speaker 1:I think for me, the dream was just security. My mother she bought a home early in my life and so I had a lot of friends that moved around all the time and so we were just there. And so my mom's home was it's pretty funny because everyone's called it like central station Everybody just knew that's where we were going to be at. If my phone number changed or my pager number changed back then not trying to date myself they knew that they could go to my mom's house and say, hey, where's Ashley? You know, and so I took that from her in terms of understanding what stability is. So, in terms of like dreams, my dream was always to be financially secure, not have to be stressful about those types of things. Now, in terms of career, I never thought I would get into real estate, that's just. It was a dream that you know, took off on its own and I'm so blessed to be a part of it, but I would say that I attended. I wanted to attend college and become an attorney.
Speaker 1:Right, I had a son at an early age and my you know I had my focus had to change to him on that, and so I'm blessed to be able to fall into something that I love and it wasn't a negative and you know, and he's doing a phenomenal job and I'm so proud of that. But you know, things happen in life and you have to bounce back and you have to know how to pivot, and so I had to make that pivot into real estate and it's been very blessing a blessing for my family.
Speaker 2:What do you think you know? I think about wires and I think of all of the folks who say you know, I want to have my own business or I want to be secure. I want to be that. And so many people talk about it but so few people actually do it. And there was a point in your life where you said I'm working for the bank. They've taught me all these skills, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life working for the bank. I want to do this on my own. What kind of walk us through? What led you to be able to say I'm going to do this and then be willing to just take that risk to make that? But I think there's so many people who go. I think I want to do it, but I'm scared.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think, being in banking at such an early age, assisting customers as they walked in, seeing the different flow in terms of financial wherewithal on individuals, I was drawn to entrepreneurship as a result of that, and so I had a thirst for it. And I think the most important thing in entrepreneurship or learning or starting a business or whatnot is to really be humble, is really to ask the questions, and I think sometimes we engage ourselves into meetings or into situations and act as though we know and we don't, and so you know, my advice is to be humble and ask the questions. I asked a million questions to a lot of people and I said, well, how do I set this up? Is that the best way? Then I would go ask someone else Is this what I'm advised on, how we should set this up? And I think it really comes down to really asking the questions that you don't know and being humble about it and removing ego.
Speaker 1:Ego is the biggest deterrent of success that I have ever seen there, so to this day, I have ever seen there. So to this day, I have mentors. I've been in the business 25 years, but it doesn't mean that I can't learn from somebody who's been in the business 10 years, and so to be able to be forever teachable is very important, and so that's one thing that I would say that I pretty much have. The reason why I got into entrepreneurship and try to maintain my level of success and engagement is really to be humble and remove ego and then to give back. I love I teach classes every week to people, whether they're in my company or not in my company, that everybody's welcome to join my class and get involved in that, and I think that gives me a sense of being able to pour back into the community, and so I love it, and so I'll continue to do that.
Speaker 2:Thank you for sharing that. We've mentioned mentors a few times. A few times so far, you talked about the mentors that helped shape your identity, but what I think that's super important that people realize is there's mentors that continue you forward in order to move up, and it's probably not just one mentor in your life that does everything. It's like you have to seek out and look for people Right. I mean, they didn't just show up and knock on your door and say, ashley, I would love to mentor you today. How?
Speaker 2:do I, how do I do?
Speaker 1:that, absolutely. It's a lot of mentors. You have different ones. You have a mentor who's going to teach you how to scale your business from A to Z, but then you also have a mentor who's going to teach you how to be a better parent, and then you have a mentor who's going to teach you how to maintain your emotions.
Speaker 1:In these types of situations, you can draw different things from different people, and I think, when we met at the NARAB convention and we were in the men's session, you know, just sitting there, even if you're not speaking, you're listening. You're drawing something from everyone, right? And so, in terms of a capacity, when we use the word mentor, sometimes we tie it to where we're going to meet every Friday, we're going to have coffee, we're going to do this, this. No, I think, even just in the engagement of a conversation, you can draw something from someone and really apply it into your life, and so, or you can draw something from someone and decide I do not want to apply that, right, because mentorship comes multiple ways, right? Sometimes you will say you know what, I don't want to do that, and so you learn from that and you apply it to your life accordingly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have mentors that even like online or YouTube videos that I watch, that they may never know that they're my mentor, but you know I will consume 100 hours or 50 hours of content just so that I can.
Speaker 2:I can become a different person or I can become better.
Speaker 2:One of the things that I would love to talk about is family, and so or even you know, even we can break it down to the Black family if we want, and I know that you're a dad, and one of the things that has also been a theme is talking to dad, because I think we realize that kids need a mom and a dad they absolutely 100% for them to thrive and grow, and they don't always get that and sometimes it and a dad they absolutely 100% for them to thrive and grow, and they don't always get that, and sometimes it's the community that takes over as one of the roles of the parent, but sometimes we neglect to talk about what does it mean to be a dad and how has that changed our lives and how we look at any situation we have, because we are a dad and we care about what our kids are going to get from it and we're trying to protect them and we want to be the example, and I think sometimes it changes how we go through life.
Speaker 2:I mean, we're this one person when we're graduating high school and we're getting out into the world and then we become a father or a dad. It kind of changes that. What does it mean to you to be a dad?
Speaker 1:I mean, it's everything. It's the greatest accomplishment I've ever had, being able to see pour into my children. But then there's a lot that our children give us that sometimes we don't think about. They give you the strength to get up.
Speaker 1:You know you got to be strong and they help you, you through whatever and don't even know what's going on or whatnot. And so you know I have three beautiful children Amari is 24, taylor is 19, and Journey is nine. And so you know they're great. It's just a great feeling for me. You know, probably the few things that can probably take a grown man to tears is talking about. You know their children, and so you know I love them to death. There's nothing I wouldn't do, and I just think that that's a different type of you know, for those that are not involved in their children's life, I would just say that you're missing out, but it's never too late. My father passed away several years ago and we had a strange relationship when I became a teenager or whatnot, because he wasn't present.
Speaker 1:But then later upon his death, years prior to that, we made amends and we I mean that was my- best friend, and so, you know, it became, became, it came full circle, and so I would just encourage those that are watching that might have uh, challenges with your children or whatnot have fallen out. It's never too late to correct it. I know my father and I did, and, like I said earlier when I was saying sometimes you could take things from people like a mentor, you could take a piece from somebody and say I, I don't want to do that, you know, and so I've applied that with my father, you know, and those gaps to my children. I don't want to do that, you know. I want to do things differently, and so I've been able to do things differently.
Speaker 2:And so when you think about family and how important family is, I know faith is a part of you, know your makeup and who you are, but you know, as you approach family and you had the you know estranged dad for a little bit and you know an incredible mom. You know mom that raised you. How does those experience help you in thinking about your responsibility? You know in your family and what you have to do. I mean sometimes we get so into our work or the things we do that we have to, I guess, try to balance family, but for some of us no family comes first. No matter what, there's no balancing, but you're still running a corporation at the same time, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I've struggled at periods in my life with work-life balance. I think that's something that every entrepreneur probably can acknowledge, that they've struggled with, because you're committed to wanting to give your family a different life than maybe that you had, and so you're head down working and you might look up and you're missing something or you're not fully engaged, and so I think, especially today, we live in a world of technology, so everybody has a cell phone, they're at the dinner table, everybody's on their own phone, and I think you know, trying to be intentional is very important about the time that we have, because we all understand tomorrow's not promised. You know we've. You know I'm 45, be 46 shortly, and I think you know, looking back, I've had friends that are no longer with us, and so you have to think about I wonder what they would wish they could have back, and I think it would be family, it'd be the interaction with their children and whatnot. I take that very serious.
Speaker 2:You talked about your kids a little bit. You have one that's 24 and another one that's nine. You have to show up as a different dad between those two relationships, right?
Speaker 1:I think the 24-year-old, because I was much younger. I said, you know, running around at the park was a little different than me running around at the park with a nine-year-old today, you know. And so we do a little bit more play dates so they have friends that will run, because I'm not so much the runner anymore. But, yeah, you know, it's different, you know. But then also too, it's different financially, right? So today raising children is different than 20 years ago. It wasn't for me when I was trying to get up off the ground, and I think that that's things that we have to, you know, talk a little bit more about and be honest about, you know. And so I talked to my children about that. They understand, you know, different situations. My son might say well, when I was growing up I didn't get to do that, you know. And so, hey, we have a conversation.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I think it's so good because sometimes I think we don't want to show our kids or talk about the times when we struggled. But failure and struggle is part of success and you know, even though they weren't times that we say, oh, you know I did great, or you know I made mistakes, or whatever it is, I think it's so important that we have those conversations and we get to talk about it and I mean, have you been able to? It sounds like you've been able to. You know, hey, this is 2007 and eight weren't the greatest years of our lives. And these are the things that happened, happen, you know, and then so forth as you move forward oh no, absolutely.
Speaker 1:I think having the conversations is is a class, it's a training, right? So I'm teaching my children like, hey, these are the mistakes that I made. I don't want you to make the mistakes, you know. You know, I think sometimes and that goes back to we were talking about ego sometimes people want to walk around that they're perfect and they do this and they do that, and that's not always the case, right and so and I think you can mask it for only so long. So you have to be, you know, live your life with transparency, and I think especially with children.
Speaker 1:They know, you know, and so it's good to have the conversation and I talk to all of my children about. You know, life finances struggles. Here's an example. Dad went through this. This is what I don't want you to do, you know. This is why I'm saying don't go left, go right, and we have these conversations Very transparent.
Speaker 2:It's so cool. My children are grown, so I have eight of them and my youngest is 29 now. It's so cool. My children are grown, so I have eight of them and my youngest is 29 now. I just turned 60 two weeks ago, and so it's fun because, you know, now I'm talking to my kids and they're telling me Dad, I remember you doing this, and I'm like, oh no, I don't remember that. Don't tell my grandkids that, don't tell me that this is what happened.
Speaker 2:One of the things I love to kind of ask you, because I think that a lot of us feel like sometimes we're stuck, like we don't know how to move forward. We don't know how to move in You're, you know, as you're getting ready to become the president of a predominantly Black organization, what are some of the things that you might give as advice to folks that are thinking I want to do something, I want to move forward. I feel like I haven't had the opportunities that other people have had. I don't really know how to get going or started. What were some of the things that maybe either you did, or some of the things you do in your classes now, that help folks that are just, they get up every morning and they're not excited about it. I love my life. I can't wait to get up every day, but I know there's so many people that are not there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think for me it's a little different. I'm 5'5", so I played basketball and I loved it. I love the terminology pound for pound, right, because pound for pound, I want to say that I was probably one of the great ones, but I was 5'5", so you have to get up and you have to show up every day, every day. So I think when we talk about being stuck, it's really about committing to what it is that you say you're going to do and doing it.
Speaker 1:I always take the example of if you're at home and you're like, hey, I'm going to do this today, I have all these chores I'm going to do, and then you overwhelm yourself so you end up not doing any of them or you do them halfway. So I think it's like take one thing at a time, focus on the next step, understanding the long goal. The sacrifices today will pay off for tomorrow, and I think that that will help a lot of us to really move forward, when I learned how to put one foot in front of the other and really just say, okay, yes, I want to scale my company to a certain level.
Speaker 1:But then I had to say, well, okay, well, what level am I at now? What's the next level, as opposed to thinking 10 levels down the way. I think sometimes we overthink ourselves and then we feel stuck in a situation. So you know, if you did, if you did, I tell my loan officers if you did one loan last month, you know this month you're trying to do two, right. But if, sometimes, if you just sit up here and say I'm going to do 10. Right, you're always going to feel like you haven't reached that goal. So baby steps are very important into the long journey. You know, and I think sometimes that's misunderstood.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is the journey, right that you don't just wake up. And I think, especially in our fast paced society, maybe you can kind of talk about. You brought up technology a little bit, but these are these devices, and now we have AI and we have all these things and I think the expectation is well, I can do everything instantly and it's not going to take me.
Speaker 2:Maybe you can talk a little bit about becoming the person that can do the thing, instead of just trying to do everything and have everything and not that personal development piece that we all have to go through in order to be that person who can do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean with technology. I'll just tell you that I thought I was a technology person, but it's moving so fast that you look up and you're feeling like you're left behind and I think that kind of really drives us in terms of not being able to fully understand or fully commit to getting up and working. I saw an interview with Michael Jordan and he was talking about contracts, he was talking about endorsements, and I thought it was a great interview because he was saying that today there's players that are getting paid before they even played their first game. Back in the day, you had to prove yourself before you got paid, and it's just a different time in which we live in.
Speaker 1:And I see that a lot of times in various industries, not just athletics, but in business as well. You know people are coming in and saying that, hey, I'm qualified because I'm self-qualified, and so I should get compensated this amount or I should get treated a certain way, and they haven't put in the work. And I still think that old school putting in the work, elbow grease, learning, getting down, getting your hands a little dirty is the way to go, and it's going to teach you a lot in the long run to actually apply yourself. Know, people out in sales aren't doing any business, but they got five assistants. I I can't understand it right. I still don't understand it, you know. And so, and I'm sitting over here and I'm, you know, I'm getting up early in the morning, I'm staying late in the evening, I'm doing the sacrifice that are needed, and so I think that we have to get back into the work ethics that many of our parents, grandparents and so on had years ago.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. Yeah, oh my gosh. Think about relationships, because you are in a relationship-oriented business, you can't do without relationships, and some people want to forgo that. For whether it's the technology or I'll just email you and you know you expect a response, or you're not picking up the phone. What would you say about the importance of relationship for long-term success?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:So for me relationships are everything.
Speaker 1:I think making that, that connection with somebody, um, personally, uh, will take things a long way. You know, um, we could look at things different. We could have did this interview over the phone, but the connection with the video connects us a little closer. Right now. I see your face, your face, you see my face, and I think that that's what most humans want, not just in business, just in personal things right In family. Your sibling or whatnot lives less than an hour away, but you haven't seen them in eight months. You know like those connections, you can talk to them all you want, but I think it really means so much more for you to pull up on them and spend a couple hours with them or whatnot, and then go back home.
Speaker 1:I think that we look at things as sacrifice, and I think time is so important, which technology saves us a lot of time. But what are we doing with the time that we're saving? Are we investing that back into our families or are we still chasing a moving target? And so it's very important to me. I love to entertain, have my friends over, my family over and whatnot, and that's because I enjoy the interaction of humans. So you know, hopefully that doesn't go away with all of this new technology, but no matter what, I'm gonna always be that person and I think it's helped me so far in business as well as personally so much.
Speaker 2:I agree so much. I mean, the relationships are everything, and when we look at our phones and we have 3,000 folks that are on our phone and our acquaintance, it's the relationships of the people that are closest to it that seem to make all the difference in the world. I want to pivot a little bit to just business. You've talked about words like scaling and you've said things like to move up in my company or I have employees or five assistants, and there's folks that are saying, ok, I want to do this and I want to do it right.
Speaker 2:Where do you go to learn about business? And you know, I can say, like I had a guest on a couple you know last week. It was hey, I learned how to be a businessman because I was a drug dealer. I'm not suggesting that to anybody who's watching or listening, and that's why we're talking to Ashley this week, but what is it that you think is the best way to learn? And then, what are some of the pitfalls that people are definitely going to encounter that they shouldn't stop, because it's the guy who perseveres and does it 25 years that gets to see all the fruits of it, not the guy who does it for three months and quits because he didn't think it was going to be this hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean for business, I would say in terms of where I went to get my business. I think in a lot of businesses, especially in the Black community, we're good at what we do. We're great at what we do right. So if we cook pies, we're the best pie maker. But that doesn't translate to actually understanding how to run a pie business right. And so for me, you know, I was great at sales, making connection with people, understanding what their needs were and having that conversation. But then to actually say now I'm running a business where I have employees and have all of that. So my first mentor, who has been my tax accountant for many years, is probably the greatest mentor I've had in business, because he sees everyone's business. So he told me I said this is how you set it up, this is what you need to do, this you know. So I was able to stay away from some pitfalls not all of them, but some of them and then really go that direction.
Speaker 1:Now, on the other side of the scaling, I looked at people that were doing business to where I wanted to go and I wouldn't ask them. I had questions, not everyone. Some people looked at me as a competitor. I'm not going to show you what I do, but others were like, hey, I'll show you everything because there's enough pie for all of us to go around, and so finding those individuals are very important Then becoming that individual.
Speaker 1:So I feel the same way. I have people that have worked in my company, have gone on to open up other companies and I love it and I congratulate them and I'm there on opening night and I'm supporting them and everything like that, and I think we need to do a better job of that piece in terms of supporting one another, as opposed to looking at each other as competition. Right, I do, you know. Let's just say there's 500,000 transactions in the state of California, but I can handle all of those. Why wouldn't I want to see my friend or my family member doing that as well with me? So you know, I think that that's very important.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. I love it because when you think about lack and abundance and there's so much of our like in this day and age, with our country and where it's at, where there's just this lack of mentality that says, if you have, it must take from me, and if I have and I give it to you, I can't have it, how have you been able to live your life with that abundance mindset that says there's enough for everybody?
Speaker 1:Because there truly is I mean.
Speaker 2:God is a God of abundance and resources. And why would you think that just because I'm in the same, you know in the same areas that there's not enough for both of us to be able to thrive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think you know, and probably when we're done I'm going to pick up the phone and call my mother, because she's coming up so much in this conversation that I didn't even think about. But you know, my mom, you know, single mother worked very hard, those types of things. We had family members that maybe didn't have certain things and my mom would. I'd come downstairs and she was giving away the TV, you know, cause we didn't need multiple TVs. We were fine, they don't have one. So here we go, you know, and I'm thinking like, but what are we doing? Like that's my TV, you know. And so learning.
Speaker 1:That has really been a blessing for me. I don't even think about giving somebody any type of assistance. I'm sorry, I thought I had turned it off, so I don't even question helping anybody or anything like that, and I think that that's really helped me in the long run because there's always going to be a day where you're going to be the one who's needing help, you know, and so don't get too full of yourself in business, because and which we learned in 2009, 2010,.
Speaker 1:In the housing market specifically, it didn't matter how great and how many connections you had If you weren't, you know, when the foreclosure started happening, a lot of people weren't doing business anymore. People were moving. They were on a different side of this, you know, and so I think that that was something that really was a humbling experience for the industry. But then let's fast forward. We go 10 years later. Many people forgot about that. They forgot what that felt like, and so I would just encourage people don't forget about the struggles and the trials that you went through. No matter where you're at today, you can be back there tomorrow, and so it's always about constantly working, focusing on what it is that you want to do and being humble to the fact that you can be up today and down tomorrow, and we've seen that story play over millions of times, so don't think that you're exempt from that happening to you, and so I live my life that way right.
Speaker 1:I live my life understanding. Yeah, I'm a business owner today, but next week I can say I used to be a business owner, right, but for the grace of God, understanding and remaining humble, those are very important to do, and so, and you also want to make those connections that we talked about before, because if people don't want to be around you, they don't want to do business with you.
Speaker 1:And so, from a business perspective that has helped me tremendously. It's something that I've sacrificed hours in the office to get out there and reinforce those connections and interactions with people.
Speaker 2:Since, thinking through 2007 and 2008 and all the relationships that I can still call on those folks, even though everything happened. I had a mortgage business in Rancho Cucamonga and it was just. It was gone. You say business owner today, not business owner next week.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're counting on some of those deals to close. You had already spent those checks right and it was canceled, you know, and so that's something that really hit a lot of families.
Speaker 2:Oh, it did in a big way. Which brings me one is you can't out give God and he's a God of abundance. And maybe you can talk a little bit about your faith and how your faith has played a part in your success and and the failures that you have, and and how you've depended on him to through all this process.
Speaker 1:This is my favorite question so far and I love the question just because I am a man of faith, you know, in terms of God and my relationship and the things he's, but not just because of the things he's brought me through, Right, you know? Just just, I believe that it's a blessing to wake up every morning. Blessing to wake up every morning and one of the things that I've been saying lately in 2025, I said in 2025, I'm going to live my life to the fullest every single day, and the reason, one of the reasons why is because I don't want God to look at the list and say, well, who's not enjoying their time? I want to be so far down that list where he's like you know what, as he's enjoying his time, you know we're going to continue to protect him with grace and everything like that. You know, and so I live.
Speaker 1:I feel like not living your life, living your life in unhappiness and anger and all of the negative attributes. I feel like it's almost offensive to God's blessing to wake you up in the morning, and so that's how I live my life. That's how I encourage those around me to live their life. If people come in and they're not feeling well, and they come to the office and they have a downtime or an attitude. I feel like it's my job to bring them out of that.
Speaker 1:And I have people around me that do the same for me as well, and I have people around me that do the same for me as well.
Speaker 2:So I got yes and yeah, as I was doing my walk this morning I was, I was just so thankful for what I haven't had to endure and all the things that I've been blessed with the fact that I could get up and walk this morning and talk this morning, you know, be able to have this conversation. That that we get to have today is such a blessing, absolutely. Where would I be without that? When?
Speaker 2:I think about you know a lot of. You know, especially men, men of color, that have not been as blessed or have had to go through some things, had to go through some things and you know I listened to a guy named Myron Golden who talks about that's not the reason, for you know the, I guess, determining factor and the you know the factors that the reasons why we don't succeed, and but there has been trauma and there has been some things and and I know you know people in some trauma that we've all had ourselves. What would be your advice of dealing with trauma and how to move forward and not and not go backwards as a result of it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I say you know, being a black man in America, you know there's systemic barriers, there's past trauma that has come through generationally. And so I understand first, because what I don't want to ever do is answer the question from a perspective of superiority or that I've learned or I've mastered the questions, because we all go through it. We all are going to feel stuck or in a rut at some point in our lives, at some point in our year, some point in our month, right? And so for me, I think you have to develop a system to how you get out of that rut, and it works different for all of us, because we're all unique, we're all different.
Speaker 1:For me, laying in a bed is not help, does not help me get out of my rut, right, and so I have to get up, I have to get moving, I got to get around, you know, and so I.
Speaker 1:That's how I pretty much do things, but I do want to acknowledge the fact that you know it's it's it's it's a challenge, it's, it's hard. Out here there's opportunities, um, that are presented to people that you feel that don't deserve it as much as you and you've put in all this time and you didn't get that promotion, or you didn't get that opportunity or you didn't win over that client, and it hurts, and I think that that's, um, the thing that I would uh encourage people to, uh especially black men, is to acknowledge what it is, and sometimes we don't want wanna use words like that hurt, and I think some things hurt and it's okay to say that really hurt me because I thought I was prepared. But you know what, if it comes up, the opportunity presents itself again. I'm gonna be prepared. So I'm gonna study why I didn't get it and I'm gonna work towards that, and I think that that's the thing. I think we get stuck a lot of times because we're hurt and then our hurt is manifested through anger.
Speaker 1:Our hurt is manifested in many other ways, or throwing in the towel, or pivoting before we see it. You know, one of my favorite quotes that I love hearing is people say you know, it's coldest at night, right before the sun rises. So that's, the coldest point at night is right before the sun is going to break through. And so, understanding that this is a long journey, don't give up. Accept the fact of where we are, as you stated, which I love. You know, be blessed for the problems you don't have. Right, it can be worse. Okay, as long as you're speaking and thinking, it definitely can be worse. So you know, I think that you know being stuck, and I see it all the time. I see it all the time and I'm familiar with it because I lived it too. So I think it's just important where I'm at at this stage in my life is you got to keep moving. You got to keep moving.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you. We are who, the words that we speak and the words that we say to ourself and the words that we say to others. And words matter. And I want to move this conversation, when we're talking about words, into money, because money is one of those things that we speak sometimes so poorly about our beliefs and our values and our relationship with money that I think sometimes it doesn't manifest itself in our lives. You know, whether it's home ownership or whether it's investing, or whether it's just not understanding how money works. What are some of the things? As a businessman, as somebody who's been successful, who's climbed the ladder, what are some of the things that you do around money, that you say around money, that is part of your money relationship belief system.
Speaker 1:So, for me, I'm very conservative with money. Many people around you will tell you that that's not true, but I believe that I'm very conservative with money. I'm not a flashy big spender or whatnot, but I think it's really with finances is really a matter of. I. I worked um at a retail store.
Speaker 1:Uh, late in high school I was trying to juggle a couple of jobs actually, and I met a janitor at the retail store and he and he told me, he says, listen, I own multiple homes. You know, I just do this because this is what I enjoy seeing people. He's like I don't have to do this, right. But everybody that walked by this individual probably said oh, he's just a janitor, you know. And so he taught me a very principle about money at that point. We can complain about income inequality, we can complain about all those things which they exist, they exist and they should exist, but we also have a responsibility when we do receive our money, what we choose to do with it, and I think that that's very important to really understand. And so for me.
Speaker 1:I was blessed to have met that individual. I was blessed to have been in the banking world. So I learned about money at a very early age and then, growing up, I learned lack of money and what that looked like, and so my work commitment was I don't want to be at the lack anymore. So if I got to work 12 hours, that's what I had to do. So you know, I think if you don't understand money, go ask. You know, go ask a tax person. What should I be doing? Is this a good investment? You know, and I think we don't ask enough questions because, especially as men, we're expected to know. We're expected, and only God is our mission right? I don't know it all, but you know he did give me the foresight to be able to go ask a question and say, hey, how do you do this? I want to learn and I think with money, we need to do a better job as a community with that as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when you think about the people that you ask, I mean that's, that's important too, and some of us want to go ask the person that is the most flashy and have what we think you want is driving that Benz and driving the Land Rover and living in the house and stuff is how do we find that right person, not only for us, but sometimes those folks that are are doing good I mean, they look like they're doing good with money.
Speaker 1:They got that car locked up in that garage because that Porsche is about to get repoed. So it doesn't necessarily mean that that's what they're doing. And I think us getting out of the materialistic of society and really looking at what are we investing in, what am I doing with my money that's going to give me a return in having those conversations and I think mentorship to young men is so vitally important. I did it going in church. We had the rites of passage at my church for young men. We had to take these classes. You open the door for the young lady. This is how you speak, this is what you do. We had all of that and that was a blessing because even to this day I learned how to tie a tie in that class.
Speaker 1:So I would say to the single mothers that are out there, or to the young men that are out there seek those types. They're in every city across America. Somebody wants to give back and I say, take that extra time to do that, Because even to this day I wake up in the morning, I'm tying my tie. You know, go to a meeting, I still tie my tie as Elder.
Speaker 1:Banks taught me how to tie my tie Right, and so that was, you know, 35 years ago. But I think about Elder Banks every time I time my time, you know, so that was important for me.
Speaker 2:Talk to me a little bit about. I love, love that, because there are places that we can go and there are really good mentors that are out there that can help you understand. But don't try to do it on your own, folks. Don't try to do it on your own because you don't know what you don't know and you can't just pull that out of the air. So when I think of homeownership and you know, right now there's this trend that seems to be going out there that says you don't need a home, you're better off renting, you're better off, you know, being able to, you know, so that gives you mobility, to be able to move around. It gives you, you know, density where you can, you know, get to work really quick and all these things Maybe as part of a more money formula. Maybe you can kind of speak to as being a banker and a real estate person and a mortgage person, the power of homeownership.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I've had to also evolve my thinking about homeownership too, because we are in a different world and society today than maybe we were 20 years ago, and so when I first got into the business 25 years ago, I would always say you gotta own a home to live in, you gotta own, you gotta own. And I still believe homeownership is paramount to generational wealth and what you're going to pass down to your children.
Speaker 1:But I would say that even if you want to have the mobility and you want to move around and you want to not plant your feet into homeownership, then you should plant your feet into owning property that you can lease and rent out and let that pay for your luxury apartment, if that's what you want to do. But you should have some type of income flow. So when you're asleep at night and that house down the street sold and now you got some more equity because it gave you some equity, because it was valued so high, that's like a second job. And the way society has been moving lately in terms of the cost of milk, the cost of eggs the cost of gas is always a situation.
Speaker 1:Electricity and utility bills are always moving and ever-changing. So I think ownership allows you to build wealth while not having to do anything about it, and I'll go back to one particular property that I had in Los Angeles that I was selling for a client, and so they had the property. It was probably worth, let's just say, $300,000. They sat on the property, left it vacant for four years and then sold the property and it was probably worth over $500,000 at that time. So they gained almost $200,000. And this was probably 2012 to 16, that range of timeframe but they gained $200,000 doing nothing, and so they didn't rent it. They didn't do anything, and so obviously we have a housing problem. We don't need vacant properties. We need people to rent these homes. But at the same time, you see where I'm going in terms of ownership. They couldn't have got that from any other part of the business or any other job that just allows you to make money while you sleep and don't do anything.
Speaker 2:And so I think it's very important for that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, and thank you for sharing that, because that does give a perspective of you know, because I've seen folks where they get together like maybe they were college roommates or something, and they put full money together and they go buy an investment property even though they might be living in an apartment, but they're investing instead of.
Speaker 2:You know some people I just want to save. Well, savings is a depreciating asset, right? Because your money is going to be worth less next year than it is this year if it's not being invested somehow. So I love that perspective where you're just saying, hey, no, it's not, you don't have to go live in the white picket fence house that you own, that you live in and grow, but you need to own something or invest in something as a result of making sure that you start creating a portfolio that's different than just existing, because I think sometimes we're just such consumers that we got, we want to go buy everything and have everything, but not that piece where there's tithing and the piece where there's savings and investing. Do you have a formula for how much money you should actually live on compared to how much money?
Speaker 1:And I know it's different phases at different times in life and stuff, but if that's something you that you know a mentor told you or helped you out with, that you would love to share with us you know I so I struggle on saying how much somebody should live on right, but I will say I will say there are a couple key things that I live by right and so I will say there are a couple of key things that I live by Right. So if I can't, I apologize. I can't turn this computer off, I can't If one.
Speaker 1:Having you know, my mother, my grandma, my, actually my aunt I'm sorry, my aunt would always tell me like you need to have at least six months of whatever your bills are. Right, it was just, that's just the way it was. You put six months to the side. Right, that's just the way it was. You put six months to the side One of the things that I heard recently from a financial planner. He said if you can't buy it 10 times, don't buy it right, With the exception of, maybe, the car or the house. But other than that, if you want to on to to your Amazon account or whatnot, and purchase, you know whatever you're buying, can you buy it 10 times and if you can't buy it 10 times.
Speaker 1:maybe you don't need to buy it, you know, and I say well, you know, 10 seems a little high, you know. But you know, maybe I need to apply that, but I think it's a great rule. You know, I can't say that I'm living by 10 times on every purchase, but sometimes I think it makes sense to like start to apply those things, because obviously everyone deals with different income levels and whatnot, you know, and so maybe it's, it's, it's your objective is more of a business plan to say I want to increase my income, so I'm at this job and I'm going to be looking and growing my skill set so I can be more marketable and earn some more money in my next opportunity.
Speaker 1:I think that those are equally important as well.
Speaker 2:Thank you. I've been really selfish in asking the questions that I want to know, so my life can improve from somebody such as yourself. But what did we not talk about in our last few minutes that we have together that you would love to make sure that our audience hears, that our audience knows about today?
Speaker 1:So a couple of things I saw on one of the things that you have spoken on many times was, you know, past trauma, and I think that that's very important because I'll be honest with you.
Speaker 1:I went through certain times in my life where people would talk about trauma and I'm like that's just an excuse, just get up and do it. And as I've gotten older and I've witnessed people go through trauma and how it's impacted certain things, then you start to look at yourself a little bit more, and I think I would encourage all listeners men, women, black, white, anyone I think it's very important for us to really identify what is impacting us. That's behavior, wise, that's any of those things. I think if you grew up in a home where everybody was short tempered and everybody's yelling all the time, that might not translate very well to business, right, and so I think really understanding those concepts are very important and I would just challenge you to really do a deep dive in yourself.
Speaker 1:A second thing I would say is like in our community, I don't think we utilize therapy enough. You know, I think it's almost a taboo. It's almost like buying life insurance. If I buy life insurance I'm going to die, right, and so that's why people kind of have a subconscious thought about. But I think therapy is like if I go to a therapist and I'm acknowledging I have a problem. No, you might just need to vent, and you might need to vent to somebody who's not going to lead you down a wrong path, like, yes, leave, quit your job, right, you might vent to somebody who's going to be a little more logical and is disconnected from your situation, and so that's very important as well, so you know.
Speaker 1:I think that those two things will help us be better. Fathers will help us be better fathers also help us be better children, as our parents are aging. Better business people you know, as well as better friends, and I think that you know we can work on ourselves. I think you know social media is very funny because social media, when you go on there, everybody's telling everybody else about them but you don't really find too much where people are saying you know, I've had to overcome this.
Speaker 1:I remember growing up in the church I loved testimony because testimony always taught me like it was real, like wow, they went through that or their lights were cut off, oh my God. Like I didn't know that, you know, and it was really like it was educational for me. I enjoyed the testimony more so that somebody come and pointing a finger and saying this is what you better do you know, and I think that that's very important. So those things you know if we kind of conclude on that note, I definitely think those are very important. I would encourage anybody to really take a deep dive internally.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, thank you, because that is so important and sometimes we tend to, like I said before, try to figure this all out by ourselves, and there are people out there that are willing not only to help but can guide you through whatever it is you're going through. And if we lean on each other, the chances of us doing better as a community is that much greater community is that much greater. And so I just said I thank you for being part of the show today. I thank you for your wisdom. I'm hoping that maybe we can you know after, since you're president elect now, after you become president, maybe we can just come back and do a show that's just on NARAB and what NARAB's doing and how it's impacting the community and all the wonderful things that you guys do.
Speaker 2:I guess I'm part of NARAB too, but, as the organization does to just make lives better for those out there and if you are a person that enjoyed this show and you enjoyed listening to Ashley and I go back and forth there's so many like this that are there, people who are doing it I wish you, hope that you would take advantage of it and so hit notifications so you know when new ones are coming out. Go through the library of over 170, some episodes of black men who are doing something special in their communities and making it happen. And, ashley, like I said again, for you to take your time and, you know, out of your day to be able to talk with us. It's just been a pleasure and it's been wonderful and I can't wait to talk to you on the next one. So for those of you out there, don't forget you are God's greatest gift. He loves you if you allow him to, and we look forward to talking to you on the next one.