The Journey to Freedom Podcast
Journey to Freedom serves as an exclusive extension of the Living Boldly with Purpose podcast series—a platform that inspires powerful transformation and growth. Journey freedom is a podcast hosted by Brian E. Arnold. The Journey to Freedom is an our best life blueprint exclusively designed for black men where we create a foundational freedom plan. There are five pillars: Identity, Trust, Finances, Health and Faith.
The Journey to Freedom Podcast
How I Beat Dyslexia & Labels to Win at Life and Overcoming Self-Doubt
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What happens when you break free from the labels others have placed on you? Chris's powerful story offers a masterclass in personal transformation, beginning with the painful experience of being labeled dyslexic, failing third grade twice, and growing up with teenage parents who expected little from him.
The turning point came from an unexpected source—his third-grade teacher who refused to let him run from reading. "If you keep running from reading," she told him, "you will run the rest of your life." This moment of truth sparked a journey that would eventually lead Chris from limitation to liberation.
Throughout our conversation, Chris shares profound insights about identity formation: "Millionaires are millionaires because they ARE millionaires. Money doesn't make them millionaires—their identity makes them millionaires." This BE-DO-HAVE principle (rather than the reverse) unlocks a powerful framework for authentic success.
We explore how unhealthy beliefs about money, relationships, and trust often stem from childhood experiences, and how personal development through reading transformed Chris's worldview: "Reading allowed me to travel the world without ever leaving my community." His perspective on trust—requiring both discernment and integrity—offers a nuanced approach to building healthier relationships.
Perhaps most compelling is Chris's faith journey and how finding his identity in something greater than society's definitions liberated him from limiting beliefs. As he puts it, "Sometimes we believe lies and repeat them as truth to protect ourselves," but real transformation begins when we confront those protective falsehoods.
Whether you're struggling with self-doubt, working to overcome past trauma, or simply seeking to level up in life, this conversation contains wisdom that will challenge and inspire you. As Chris reminds us, "The battle is not lost unless you accept defeat."
This episode features an inspiring conversation with Chris, a man who overcame dyslexia, teenage parents, and societal labels to build a thriving marriage and career.
Hear how faith, personal growth, and trusting relationships shaped his journey from struggle to success.
Gain practical insights on breaking free from limiting beliefs, fostering strong connections, and living with purpose.
Don’t miss the powerful lessons on identity, resilience, and creating a legacy.
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Is what I say really what I want to experience? Like I say I'm tired of it, I say I want to do something different. But are my actions a reflection of what I'm saying? And typically, they weren't, but when it got to a point where it hurt bad enough, that's when things changed for me, and I'll tell you it is what it is. I won't, you know, say it's unfortunate or whatever, but typically we'll do more for others that we loved and we'll do for ourselves.
Speaker 1:I started thinking about a lot of the younger people in my family not wanting them to experience what I experienced coming up. And if I didn't want them to experience what I experienced coming up, how was I going to be any different for them than all the adults in my life were to me? And it's no like, it's no shade to the adults, like sometimes we only know certain you know, we only know what we know, you know, and we only know certain you know, we only know what we know, you know. And we only have certain knowledge and you know maturity for an emotional perspective, and some people just don't have that kind of access. But because of the awareness that I had, it caused me to question what am I going to do different?
Speaker 2:All right, all right, welcome to another edition of the Journey to Freedom podcast, and I'm Dr B, I am your host and we get to do another one. I was just telling Chris it's June, as we're recording this, like the second day in June 2025. You might be watching this in 2030 or something. We need context of when this is. I'm more excited about life than I've ever been, more excited about possibilities, more excited about what's coming.
Speaker 2:I just got back from a seminar, workshop thing in Texas, in Dallas, this last weekend, where I was just around some incredible people who are going places and, you know, as Journey to Freedom talks, you know, mainly to Black men, there was a whole bunch of Black men in this room that I was with and they were, you know, telling me. I talked to one guy whose name was Chris Johnson and just this unassuming, humble man that you know he introduced him. He said hi, I'm Chris. You know I'm excited. Your year, you know. You know I heard you guys talking Just want to know more about you, want to know more about your family, you know. So I, you know I'm answering all the questions and I started asking about him. Come to find out, he was on Shark Tank a few years ago and he said my product's in 60,000 stores. This little dude, this guy is just so humble. He talks about his kids and his family and says, yeah, I told my kids that they have to earn things. I would give them anything they wanted, but they have to earn things. My son went out and he wrote a book and I got him to put it in the CVS and his very first check from working was $124,000. I'm like my daughter went and done something when she was 14. She helped me out in the business. She made $200,000 in her free. Oh man, I got to be around this dude, it's just.
Speaker 2:But you just don't know, because we spend so much time, whether we're watching stuff or we're online or you know and seeing, because a lot of times we either see the success or we see where somebody gave up and we don't see that journey. That's in between, and so Journey to Freedom is all about talking about you know what is it that we're doing? That you know. And success doesn't mean that you hit the levels that Chris made. Success can mean you're in your community, that you're making a difference, that you're making an impact, and the person who sees you as an example has a better way and their life is better as a result of it. And so, you know, my goal is to help people become the person that they were meant to be what God put them on this earth to do and then help them get there.
Speaker 2:And so I'm excited to have Chris on today because we get to hear his story. We get to hear I found out he's in Texas and he's in San Antonio, and we're going to find out more about that. But, more importantly, I know that he told me he's excited about his marriage. Our last guest that we had on told me he was engaged and he's getting ready to get married. We were able to start talking about all the things that he's excited about. What does he think is going to make him a great husband? What does he think is going to make him a great dad someday? And it was just fun having this conversation, as he's been in the corporate world and beginning stuff. And now we get to flip over. And I know, chris, you told me you've been married 22 years, so now we get to talk about what makes it last, what makes it grow One of the things that I've done and I want to get to you real here, real quick, the next minute or so, but I did a why Love Waits podcast that we were doing on Sunday nights and we're going to pick it up.
Speaker 2:We're kind of like on our summer break right now. And you know the statistic is 49% of black women over the age of 49 or over the age of 40 have never been married and 75% have at least one child. And we are exploring why this relationship? Why is it? The black women don't think that they need men and you know all that wonderful stuff. And then you see marriages like yours that work, where you know it is. We're going to stay with, you know, with our spouses. We're going to trust them. We're going to, you know, trust each other.
Speaker 2:And I was talking to this lady and she you know that was sitting next to me at the seminar this weekend. You know an older black woman and she was like I know, a lot of this is our fault. It's the way that we've brought, we were brought up, it's what we're taught not to trust anybody. We're not to. You know, we're told not to trust men. We, we, we hide this secret bank account from them and all these things that I was going. Wow, it's just. You know, it is so prevalent in our society today and it doesn't need to be so. Chris, I can't wait to talk to you. Go ahead and introduce yourself. You are going to find out.
Speaker 2:This is going to be one of the shows that you're going to go back and watch. Take notes. Oh, this is so funny because I used to tell people like, oh man, you got to take notes. Or when I was taking notes on podcasts, like I'd be writing down, like, oh yeah, this is recorded. I can pause the video and I can just stop and write it down. So why we're doing it? What I'm telling you? You're watching this as a recording. So what I'm saying is if you're disappointed, you're trying to write so fast hit the pause button, write it down and then go back ready, hit play again button, write it down and then go back ready, hit play again. I'm sure you all already know that that is me just going over it, like you know in my mind how crazy stuff is. So, chris, the floor is yours. Please tell your story. Can't wait to hear it, and we'll chop it up after that.
Speaker 1:So, first and foremost, thank you for number one being you. Thank you for the opportunity, the platform. I thank you for just one being you. Thank you for the opportunity, the platform. Um, I thank you for just modeling what right looks like, you know, because I think in society we definitely have a shortage of that, especially longer term. So I appreciate you for that.
Speaker 1:In terms of um, my story there's so, so many stories within one, but I will say, um, you know I was labeled dyslexic. You know I failed a third grade almost twice. I was born to teenage parents. My mother and father were 14 and 15 when I was conceived and I was expected to be a failure because of all of those different statistics and labels and things like that that came with coming from, you know, teen parents and having dyslexia, you know.
Speaker 1:However, I will say that a large part of what I learned on that journey and I'm going to go back to it is that a lot of times, what you expect is what you experience. You know, and it's and I and I a lot of people in my family, like I heard whispers of you know me being a failure on some level. It was, if it was nothing else, because I was born a teen parents or because I had this label of being dyslexic, or because I failed a third grade, like on some level, people expected me to fail. And because I love them, because I trust them and they didn't know I was listening, I believe them and what I learned along that journey is what you expect, is what you experience. And I remember when I was in third grade and this is kind of where things like started for me from an awareness perspective.
Speaker 2:When I was in third grade, it was a little bit different than what it is now, and I just remember I was number six, and what that means is my teacher.
Speaker 1:Back then we used to go all around the room and everybody had to read. It didn't matter what, but every single person had to read. And I just remember I was number six and all I was thinking about is how I was going to get out of it. You know, am I going to be sick today? Do I have to go to the bathroom today? You know well, I'm not going to cause trouble because I got crazy mom at home, so I'm not going to do that you know, but I got to find some kind of way to get out of it.
Speaker 1:And I just remember when it got to number five, I'm like I raised my hand. This time, you know, I was telling my teacher like I really got to go to the bathroom. Really bad, please, let me go. And she was like you can't go to the bathroom, you can't go to the office, you can't go anywhere until you read. And I just remember thinking like man, why is she being like this? I said please, let me go. And I just remember it finally got to me. She didn't let me go to the bathroom. And I just remember I struggled through reading and I'm reading and the first three words were just like a blur. And the third word, the students I kept hearing of they're like there, there, they were trying to help me out because I did not know what the word there there. And so I'm saying there, you know, and I and I struggled through that paragraph and that was one of the worst feelings that I ever had in that moment. But then I realized later on my classmates were trying to help me, but I still still felt I was embarrassed, I was shameful because I was athletic, I was gifted in all these other areas when it came to reading, like I couldn't read and I didn't want people to know that I could not read, and I did everything I could to manipulate certain environments and situations, to never be in situations, to show people where my
Speaker 1:weakness was. And I remember after class I went to Ms Anderson and I said can you please not have me read again? I'll do whatever you want me to. I'll say after school I'll do whatever, but just please don't have me read. And she looked at me in my eye and she said Chris, I know you struggle with reading. She said, but if you keep running from reading you will run the rest of your life and I don't want to see you keep running.
Speaker 2:Hey, it's Dr B, and let me ask you something just here real quick. Are you tired of doing the same thing over and over and not getting the results you want? Are you serious about making some changes this year that will impact you in a huge way? Maybe you're putting out content right now and it's not turning into customers. Or maybe you're uploading videos, but you're not sure why or how it's even going to help. You know, I've seen a lot of people that are making a whole bunch of cold calls to the wrong people and no one's answering. No one wants to talk to you. It might just be that you're just doing what you've been doing and crossing your fingers, hoping it finally works this year, but let me tell you what. That is not a strategy and it will continue not to work.
Speaker 2:That's why I created the podcasting challenge, and it's coming up fast. In just a few days, I'm going to walk you through the mindset, the tool set and the skill set you need to create a powerful podcast. That's right, a podcast. You won't believe what a podcast can do, one that builds real value and creates new clients. And if you grab a VIP ticket, you'll get to join me for a daily Zoom Q&A sessions where I'll personally answer your questions and help you tailor everything to your goals. This is your moment. This is your year. Go to thepodcastingchallengecom right now and save your seat. The link is in the show notes and the description. Thank you for watching these podcasts. Now let's get back to the conversation.
Speaker 1:And that was a transformational moment for me. Now I didn't learn how to read automatically, but at least gave me awareness as to where she was coming from. And she was right, because, even though I was a child, I saw a lot of adults in my life running from things that they never dealt with in their childhood. Fast forward three years, I was in sixth grade and my counselor her name is Ms Muhart, and I don't remember why I was in the counselor's office. I wasn't in trouble or anything like that she brought me down and she was just asking me how's everything going? What's going on? And I remember telling her at that time I was probably a C student at best, and I remember telling Ms Muhart that it bothered me because I just wasn't a good reader, I wasn't smart like everybody else and I failed in third grade. That was the big thing. And I remember her looking at me and she said Chris, you know I'm listening to you and I think there might be something that you're missing. She said, even though you say you failed a third grade, how do you know that the grade that you're in right now is not the grade that you were always supposed to be in and it took you repeating the third grade to be where you're supposed to be. And when she said that, it changed everything for me because I'm like you know what. Maybe she's right, maybe this is the grade I'm supposed to be in. And it took me repeating the third grade and she used her words very carefully because she didn't say fail. I said fail, but she said repeating. And I kept hearing failure, like most of my whole life in terms of like third grade. But she said repeating. And sometimes, when it comes to repeating things, we repeat things all the time to get better at it. So her language and her question really helped transform my entire thought process on being a failure and what it meant from my third grade experience. Because she said this was supposed to like, maybe this is where you're always supposed to be at.
Speaker 1:And from that point on, everything changed my grades changed, my relationship changed, you know, my confidence changed, how I saw myself changed and there were still some things that you know needed to be improved upon. You know, don't get myself changed and there were still some things that needed to be improved upon, don't get me wrong and I remember I wasn't where I was, but I continuously got better and I remember thinking about I improved in this one area. Now I want to improve in these other areas. And when I was in seventh grade, a year after the same middle school, they sent me to this leadership conference. I was only one of two people to be sent to this leadership conference to represent the school.
Speaker 1:At this leadership conference I saw somebody who was like a hero to me. His name is Les Brown and he talked about his story of being educable, mentally retarded. When I heard his story I was like man, my situation wasn't that bad, but I see how he's moving these people and I see how he's moving me. I want to do what he does. I want to help people with the story that I was telling myself in the pain that I had, and I want to help people like he's helping me in this audience and the pain that I had, and I want to help people like he's helping me in this audience and it's like, from that perspective, it really caused me to seek out ways to talk to more people.
Speaker 1:Fast forward, when I was in high school, I was asked to be a speaker for the DEAR program.
Speaker 1:Now, for people that don't know what the DEAR program, it's a program that really encourages kids to stay off drugs and alcohol and things like that, and they typically get like high school students to talk to elementary school students, and so when that experience happened, I was really introduced to a passion that I never knew that I had, and it gave me the ability to go and speak to people that were just like me. They were just younger and it's like to be the Les Brown for them. And I'm not saying that I was motivational speaker like Les Brown, but just from the perspective of seeing somebody who can relate to you and they're no longer where you're currently still at. It just allowed me to see that sometimes the very things that we hide from is the very thing that connects us to the people who are still in some of those same pains, because it humanizes all of us and lets us know you're not alone, yeah, but often it's like we try to you know, make everything perfect.
Speaker 1:And we just showed up this way and everything was great. It's like nobody can relate to that story, like they want to know. How do you know what it's like to be me, especially if I'm struggling right now? You know Again so so like that's a part of you know my story and again, we can go however you want to go, but like that's a part you know of my story that really got me from where I was to where I am today.
Speaker 2:So before I. I want you to just fast forward or not fast forward. I mean somehow between high school and where you're at now, what have you been doing? Have you still been able to speak and be able to do stuff? What is? What's your life been like now?
Speaker 1:I guess, so after high school, went to college, graduated, got a degree in business. As soon as I got a degree in business, I went right back to my old high school and I started to become a teacher. So I taught for three years and three years that passed I knew it was time for me to leave my environment, because this was a community that I grew up in, like people that I love. Everything was familiar to me, people respected me because I was all American and football, basketball track, you know. So I was like this celebrity, if you will, in my town and all of those things felt great. But I was not growing Like. It's kind of like when you're and I'm not trying to like put myself on his pedestal, however, it's kind of like when you're the biggest house in the neighborhood, nobody can pull you can't pull from anybody else's equity because you're the biggest house in the neighborhood. Like nobody's property is going to go up.
Speaker 1:You know they have the biggest house in the neighborhood, but everybody else below them like they benefit from it, and so I realized like I really wasn't growing, and even as an athlete, it's like the thoughts process in the mindset is to potentially challenge yourself to grow, and I knew that I had to. It was time for me to go, like I had to leave somewhere and just to kind of go back to high school. There was a young lady that I met, believe it or not, school. There was a young lady that I met, believe it or not, when I was in fourth grade and she and I dated when I was in eighth grade. We broke up when I was in ninth grade, when I got to high school, because I was trying to be greedy and I wanted more than one girlfriend. If you will Me and that young lady. We still always maintained a friendship, even after high school and even after college and things like that. She and I began to talk the second year that I was a teacher, she was in a different state I was still in Michigan and so and we started to develop a relationship the third year that I was going into being a teacher.
Speaker 1:Long story short, that young lady was somebody who I knew in my heart that she was supposed to be my wife. So I proposed to her and it's crazy because I didn't realize until after we were married that my mother told her in ninth grade that she was going to be my wife. Wow, yeah. But I didn't see that, because all of we broke up and me doing this and she's out of the country, and you know all these. I didn't see that ever being a possibility.
Speaker 1:But she and I, you know we we got engaged my third year as a teacher and it's like I knew it was time for me to leave. She was already out of state and so after a while God just set it up like this is the next move for you, you know you're supposed to leave this place to go somewhere else, and this was the best move for you. And I ended up moving to Columbus, ohio, which was where she was. I didn't know anybody there, you know no friends, you know just her Um and uh. She. She had a son previously, you know, and when we got married he became my son. I tell anybody like he might not be my son, but he's my son.
Speaker 1:You know and uh, she and I, we had a daughter together and we became a lot more intentional about seeking out what we didn't know, based on both of our experiences, because growing up, I didn't really see a healthy marriage you know, really healthy marriage, you know. And so for me again, she was one of the girlfriends that I had in high school, and I remember telling myself when I was in high school you know that even though I saw, you know, just a few people that were married and most of them they didn't even like each other that you know what? I never want to get married, but I told myself that I was always going to stay faithful to three of us. So in high school I had three girlfriends. I went with all three of them at the same time and I justified in my mind you know what I'm not going to talk to anybody else outside of these three and I'm just going to have these three girlfriends and I'm going to be faithful.
Speaker 1:Now, she was one of them. And when they're trying to go after multiple women, they're trying to validate themselves from what their father never validated in them and they're trying to seek something that can only come from God inside of a woman. And I learned that from my brokenness, you know, and God gave me a chance to have a second chance with this woman who my mother told us when I was in ninth grade that I was going to be my wife, and it's like, when that time came back around, I committed that.
Speaker 1:I'm not, I'm never, ever messing it up. This time I'm not going to be perfect but I'm not going to do what I did all those years ago to make that same mistake, and it's truly been a gift that I get to live every single day. Are we perfect? No, we are not, but I can literally say that if you take everything away from me except my wife, I'm good. If God is behind it, I'm good. Oh man, if God is behind it, I'm good.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. I want to read you an excerpt from this book based on your story that you just told me. It's called there Is no Tiger. Hey, I want to share this is just a note. That's at the beginning of the book. I want to share this a little bit about my journey and the special care that went into creating this book. I have dyslexia. I understand the changes that come with reading and processing, or the challenges that come with reading and processing information. With this in mind, I made sure to create an experience that will allow you to get the most out of this book.
Speaker 2:The book uses an easy to read font with special spacing to help make the text more accessible. There is ample space for you to take notes and fully engage with the material. I encourage you to use sticky notes when appropriate and don't hesitate to mark up the book, even if you need a copy, to copy certain aspects and put them on your mirror. Do so as a daily reminder and motivation. When you think of someone who might benefit from this book, listen to that instinct, get a copy for them and give it as a gift. So books here is retired.
Speaker 2:I wrote this last year for folks and you'll know the parallels that are part of our story. Yeah, I mean, cause I remember third grade a couple of times. I mean I remember I remember being in the special ed classes all the way through high school and all the stuff that that was there and just so unique. But because when you find somebody that can help you move past the whatever the disability is, then the disability isn't as big. You know, you find ways.
Speaker 2:You know, for me, when I went into, I started out teaching PE because of the dyslexia there's no way I was going to teach English or anything else. Then I went in. Then technology came out. I'm a little bit older than you, but technology came out and allowed me to use that technology as the equalizer. So now I can begin doing text-to-typing. I can begin to do stuff where, like when I wrote this book, I wrote this book by speaking into a computer, not by typing on a keyboard and trying to figure out how I'm going to spell stuff. You know, because it still doesn't happen. You know, and it's just so fun to watch somebody else who has figured out that this isn't something that holds you back, it's something that brings us further.
Speaker 2:And so I want to talk a little bit just about your identity. And you know, because you did say you know in the beginning that you were born to teenage parents 14 and 15. So you know that had to play a part in not only just having the disability of dyslexia but the part of having these young parents. Were they there? Were you living with parents? I mean, how did that work for you? That helped you create the person that you are, because you were successful in this little town, in other areas, but that happened as a result of having teen moms. So kind of talk about that.
Speaker 1:Yes, so so my parents, they were not together, and so so my dad very, very good guy, you know, but in terms of how I describe myself, I'm describing my dad. You know he had more than one woman. You know, I have a sister that's four months older than me, and that was kind of like what was seen in our family on his side. You know, the males have multiple women. You know multiple children, even though they weren't together. The males have multiple women. You know multiple children, even though they weren't together. I will say that my dad was there, though, like I saw him every weekend, you know, if not more than that, because he owned a clothing store and so I was working at his store. You know people in the community that I grew up in, like they knew my dad, they knew me and, with that being said, it was almost like growing up with with the older sibling.
Speaker 1:When you're, when you're 14, 15 years old, you don't. You don't know what it's like to be a parent Like you, don't. You don't know what it's like to be in a serious relationship, you know, you don't. You don't know what it's like to be responsible for life, you know, you don't know what it's like to be responsible for life. So I think, I think, looking back, I think my parents did the best that they could with the information and knowledge that they had at that particular time. But, with that being said, when you, when you do things that are not in alignment with God's word, you're going to experience some repercussions, even if you experience grace to go with it.
Speaker 1:You know, and so as a result of that it's like you know I had low self-esteem because certain areas of patience that I needed, my mom just didn't have. That you know. I had low self-esteem because certain emotional availability my dad just didn't have. That you know you're dealing with things that are like like life and death and survival. It's like your emotions can wait, like are you dying, are you on fire? Is somebody about to kill you? No, well, we'll deal with that later, and that's kind of how I grew up. But even though some somebody might not be dying, somebody might not be on fire, sometimes people fail to understand that the pain you can't see hurts just as much as the pain that you can. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so as a result of that, I had negative relationships with money. I saw a lot of people in my family. They would just spend money or argue over money, you know, just didn't trust each other over money, mismanaged money. They were always broke or somebody would have like these high moments, but next day is low, and so I saw how, how money was something that is just safer to not have, because when you have a lot of money, people are going to be mad at you if you don't give it to them. You know, or it's like you might do something that you might regret. So I learned early on that it's just safer to not have money, because if you don't have money then nobody can accuse you of ever being selfish by not giving them what you have that they don't have have. And in addition to that, you know I learned about relationships. You know just from like an unhealthy perspective, that you know relationships don't work.
Speaker 1:You know and like why would you get married? Why would you? Why would you be in a relationship with one person your whole life? Like why would you do that? You know, and all of the what ifs. You know what if something happened to them? Or what if you get tired, tired of them? Or what if you find somebody else with more money? Or what if you find somebody sexier? And then the other thought process that I had is why would you want to bring children into this negative, dark, like callous world? Why would you want to do that? Like that's selfish.
Speaker 1:And I remember I had that conversation with a friend of mine when I was 23 years old and I remember telling her that I never wanted to get married and I never wanted to have kids. But it was based on my experience. But even though I wanted to get married, it was my way of convincing myself to be okay with never being married. Because, again, remember the wife that I currently have. She was supposed to be my wife but I messed up with her and I couldn't see any way possible we were ever going to reunite. And so I remember trying to convince myself that I didn't want to get married, and I remember telling my friend that and it's like sometimes we believe lies and we repeat lies to be a truth, to protect, and that's exactly what I was doing.
Speaker 2:There's so much, so much in there to impact when we start thinking about identity and thinking about helping people move forward and why people are stuck when they. When I started the journey to freedom is because I had gone to, uh, this trust leadership where we just, you know, we have trouble trusting people and realizing there was like 30 folks of color in the room of 400 where they're getting all this great information. And then I go back and so I started journey freedom and took some people to Alabama. But some of the things you said that are in there, that are so relationship oriented right, like how important are relationships and how far will we go to have them, whether they're good or bad. You know whether they're good or bad.
Speaker 2:You're saying and I know for some of you who are watching this, you might've had this thought process. Maybe you still have this thought process with your relationship with money. Money in itself isn't good or bad. Money is just a way, a means for us to be able to trade goods and services and you know it just seems like you can trade more goods and services the more of it that you have. You know, but to hear you say that, you said I don't want to have any money because it will stop the relationship that you believe that you have, a dysfunctional relationship that's not even good with people that will be upset with you if you're not giving them money because they're in a situation where they don't have any and so you're like it's better not to have, not even having the ability to know that. If you have money and you know what to do with it, then you can do great things with it, right and affect millions and thousands, however, communities that are crazy. And just to think that all of those things that you set aside whether it was you know the way that you had some sexual relationships with women and what your belief was and how that was, and now you have the knowledge of knowing, oh man, how great it can be. If only I knew, if only I had that thought process, because our thought process is to be accepted, right To be, wanted, to be known, to have people that are around us, that love us and care for us, and we will do anything to get that, whether it's functional or dysfunctional.
Speaker 2:So I'd love to hear from you where did it change? I mean, you're able, you're getting a whole bunch of accolades because of athletics, and not because of reading, but just because you're that person in town, you're able to go to college. So you go to college, you get this degree. You come back, you're a teacher. So you're in person, in town, you're able to go to college. So you go to college, you get this degree. You come back, you're a teacher. So you're in that pillar of community. How did that identity continue to shift into becoming the man that you are now?
Speaker 1:How the identity shifted was through pain. What I learned is that sometimes we would not change until it hurts bad enough.
Speaker 1:And so for me it was being in a level of pain that I no longer was willing to stay in standing. You know, sometime when there's dysfunction, even though it hurts, and we say we want to change, we say we want something different, we typically stay there because it's familiar and people would rather stay in known hells than to explore unknown heavens. And I remember Les Brown told me that years ago and that always stuck with me and it caused me to just really evaluate is what I say really what I want to experience? I say I'm tired of it. I say really what I want to experience. Like I say I'm tired of it, I say I want to do something different.
Speaker 1:But are my actions a reflection of what I'm saying? And typically they weren't. But when it got to a point where it hurt bad enough, like that's when things changed for me, and I'll tell you it is what it is. I won't say it's unfortunate or whatever, but typically we'll do more for others that we love than we'll do for ourselves. That's so true Me. I started thinking about a lot of the younger people in my family and not wanting them to experience what I experienced coming up. And if I didn't want them to experience what I experienced coming up. How was I going to be any different for them than all the adults in my life were to me? And it's no like it's no shade to the adults.
Speaker 1:Like, sometimes we only know certain, we only know what we know, we only have certain knowledge and maturity from an emotional perspective and some people just don't have that kind of access. But because of the awareness that I had, it caused me to question what am I going to do different? But because of the awareness that I had, it caused me to question what am I going to do different? And then, as as fate would have it, I remember hearing Brian Tracy, and Tracy said a quote that I've been quoting this for about 30 years.
Speaker 1:He said what kind of world would this world be if everybody in it was just like me? That changed me, because I'm thinking about all of the younger people in my family, all of the younger people that looked up to me. Like what kind of world do I want them to have, what kind of world do I want them to create, and what kind of world am I willing to endure and go through a metamorphosis, to change, to become the person who created the world that I want them to live in? And so from there, like the identity had to change, like sometimes you have to give up the good to get to the great. You got to give up the familiar for the unknown and that's faith.
Speaker 1:And it's like, hey, the Bible would say faith without works is dead. And so I knew that, hey, you know, you, you, you, you display faith, but what you're willing to do. And so I knew that, hey, you know, you display faith, but what you're willing to do. And so I had to do something different, and so a lot of the identity that I had before, like I had to shit, like even in terms of you're an all-American football player, you're all-American track. I had to shit.
Speaker 2:All that identity you know, because it's like when you when you live in a community that saw you for something great five years ago.
Speaker 2:If you keep living each day based on your greatness five years ago but you're not doing anything great to go forward, you're going to be a has-been that didn't know you as a has-been until somebody no longer no more. Yeah, god, yeah, it is, it is so you know, when we start thinking about you, know what you're saying, like the pain. It reminded me I think it might have been less brown that that I first heard told the story. I mean, I've heard several people say where the farmer's on the porch with the, you know, with the dog, and it's back and forth and he's just a whining, um, and I walked by and says, well, why, why is he? Why is your dog whining? Why are you just whining like that? He said he's sitting on a nail and he's like why is your dog sitting on a nail? He's like well, I guess it don't hurt enough.
Speaker 2:You know that ability to be able to see that these are things that have to happen. And as I'm listening to you now and I see a lot of the transformation in you and I think a lot of it's because of the association. So your associations are at the beginning aren't the greatest associations there. You know, there it is what it is right your parents that you had that were young, the folks that are teaching you and training you and you're growing up with. But then I hear you take people like Les Brown. I hear you talk about Brian Tracy. I hear you talking about you know Collins and the good to great book, and you know so. You surrounded yourself whether it was through books or through individuals, or through maybe even people that you got to be coached by of good things that were now going into your process instead of bad stuff. Maybe talk about a little like how much personal development have you done and what's a formula that we should be doing?
Speaker 1:You know, personal development is one of those things that I think is dangerous to not do, and I think it's dangerous to never have a time where you're not doing it. I think personal development is something that I don't like to use the word should but I think that this should be like a requirement for humanity that you're always in some type of development personally, because, you know, I lived in the projects. I lived in some of the low income areas, you know, welfare, all those kinds of things. But reading was like one of the greatest gifts that I ever experienced, because it allowed me to travel the world without ever leaving a community. It allowed me to see like somebody doing something that's impacting the world in a way that, like I never saw that before. It allowed me to see like relationships that I never saw before in my community, and so it allowed me to truly expand my mind in a way that I couldn't get from the environment that I never saw before in my community, and so it allowed me to truly expand my mind in a way that I couldn't get from the environment that I was in.
Speaker 1:And it was all because of reading, because I'll tell anybody if you buy a book for $1,000, you're still getting a discount. You're getting a discount because somebody took 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years of their life and condensed it all in a book and if you can experience like 20 years, 20 years in a matter of hours, that's a discount. Because if we really believe in our hearts that time is the most valuable asset that we have and you can pay somebody you know $1,000 for 20 years of their life, that's a discount. You know a thousand dollars for 20 years of their life, that's a discount. And it's like. So for me, like getting access to these different books and reading like that really transformed my whole thought process and it allowed me to have a larger vision of myself and it allowed me to see, like, what I saw in my community and what I'm seeing on a regular basis. This is just a small portion of the world that I just happen to live in.
Speaker 1:But it's a whole world outside of there that's different from this, you know, and I will say and it was Les Brown, I don't remember which book he wrote, but one of his books that I read he encouraged people to never watch the news.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:When I was a kid, I was forced to watch the news because I was a kid and the adults that I was around that's what they watch, so I had to watch whatever they were watching.
Speaker 1:But I remember when I was about maybe, maybe about 14 years old, I decided that I would never, ever watch the news ever again in my life. If I can help watch the news ever again in my life, if I can help it Now, if I'm in an airport and I'm sitting at a terminal and CNN is just on every single TV around and I can't avoid, I'm going to try to block it out. But in terms of me just watching the news, I'm never, ever going to do that. And he made so much sense when he told me'm like. He told me because, again, like these people were my personal mentors, like even though I was reading their books, they probably don't even know my name, but they were my personal mentors. And when he told me that all those years ago and he really like made sense that it should really be called negative news.
Speaker 2:And when you think about positivity, no, matter what you got going on, the more positive you are, it's gonna make it better, even if you got something bad going on.
Speaker 1:You're positive about this, you're gonna make it better. Like that made sense to me and so like I just stopped watching news all together and like that just really transformed my thought process and how I saw myself and you know, uh, and again, it just still carries on to this day.
Speaker 2:And I love that you're saying that, because you know, like my mom calls me and she gives me the weather what it's going to be every day, because you know, like I like, well, I can just look outside, but she wants me to know when it's coming in, when it's happening, and this is what the news said, and just realizing how much of, especially in our climate today, because the news that we're typically receiving today is all algorithm or, you know, all put together to give you what they think you want or what you've decided that you want, and all they're doing is feeding you so much information, like you know, people say, well, how do you know what's going on? Well, somebody will tell me if it's something that's, you know, super important, that I know what's going on. I mean I'm not like not in the world, I mean I'm like in the middle of nowhere. I said, but what you're trying to solve and you're putting on your heart and you're putting as a burden is what's happening in Israel or what's happening in China, or what's happening in the Philippines, you know, and all the typhoon that's happening, you have zero ability to affect change in the Philippines. When there's a typhoon Other than I mean you could pray for them, which somebody will tell you that it's happening, that you could do it. You can pray for everybody anyways, but at the same time there's nothing I can do, and yet I'm taking on burden of the world and then my community is suffering. You know, I know more about you know when I think about, like sports figures and sports teams, and you know to carry that on a little bit more. I don't want another man's name on my back that says you are doing this, this and this and this right, that says I. You know.
Speaker 2:It was funny not so long that before the super bowl, everybody's telling me all these stats about my homes. And I was talking to a younger group of you know, I was at a high school. I was talking to some high school students and I said how many of you guys can give me stats about you know, patrick, my home and they're? They're rattling all this stuff. How many you can give me about kel? How many can give me stats about Tyreek or whatever his name is? He'll, they're rattling all this up.
Speaker 2:I said now tell me about your brothers and your sisters, tell me about your mom and dad. What can you tell me about them, I don't know nothing about them. Or if I'm talking to an older group and they say well, can you tell me how did your kid do in the baseball game last week? How did your family do? And if you had no more about these figures that don't know you, then you know about your own family and the things that you can affect. We got to reverse that you know and that personal develop to me I don't know whether it's 20 to 25% of your waking time every day should be spent on making yourself better Every day. That's how you win. You don't win by watching other people win and hope that it rubs off on you, right?
Speaker 2:Exactly, exactly, yeah, yeah so so if I've been put over to trust, trust because you're working on the right things. You're being able to trust people. One of the things that we get stuck on is we're not able to trust people. We struggle to trust ourselves, we struggle to trust our families, our women, we struggle to trust our communities. Sometimes it's white men, white women we don't trust and we're just kind of taught not to trust. And so how have you walked through and began to become successful through this medium called trust, which is so important? That is part of everything that we do.
Speaker 1:You know, first and foremost, I do believe that we all have different definitions of trust, even if it label what they are. Definitions of trust even if you can't label what they are. So, for my definition of trust, trust is two things for me somebody's ability to assess a situation and somebody's integrity. Because somebody can have all of the integrity in the world but they might not be able to discern danger when it's coming. And even though you have all of the integrity, like you'll never cheat or do anything wrong, you still might put me at risk because you can't assess when danger is coming. And on the flip side, you can have somebody they can assess negativity from a mile away, because they grew up in the inner city, they were to read people, language, they were to see all of these different things, but they don't have any integrity. And so, even though they can read and assess the situation and they can tell you when danger is coming, their integrity might say I'm not telling him because he didn't give me that money that time or he didn't help me that time. So for me, trust is when you have faith in somebody's ability to assess a situation and you have faith in their ability to stand up for what's right when they're challenged to do it. And for me, like how I learned, that is through the Bible and I don't want to. I don't want to seem like I'm just like all spiritual and perfect and you know cause I'm not. You know like I'm not perfect by any means, but I do govern my life based on the bible and what I learned from the bible from a trust perspective is is discerning. Now I'm not a hundred percent with it, but I'm really really good at discerning, like people and right from wrong and situations, and so so it's like for me it may sound weird, but I trust. When I cannot trust somebody, like you know, you can't trust somebody it's like now there's a level of comfort that you have because you know you don't have to determine where that person is, like you don't have to determine what they might or might not do, because you discern, like determine what they might or might not do, because you discern, like, like where they are and where they aren't. And so for me, because of that, I can have a great conversation, you know, a great sit down, a great interaction, even with people that I don't trust, because of discernment. And it's like the discernment it only comes from the word. You know what I'm saying. Like, like, again, people have deductive reasoning because of their experience with being in different neighborhoods. Like true discernment comes from the word. So so when you have deductive reasoning and you have discernment, like that's almost like a superpower, and so it's like that puts you.
Speaker 1:You can be around anybody and you feel a level of comfort because you can read situations. But when you're in situations where you really don't know, you can't really read a situation and it's unknown, like that's when you feel uncomfortable. And I think, a lot of times trust is more so, like you said, us trusting ourselves, but more so us trusting the outcome when we're in situations where we don't know what the outcome might be. Like that's when we have trust issues. You know, like, for instance, one of the things that people have said over the last 30 years is that the number one fear in the world is public speaking. I 100% do not agree with that Because, you think about it, people can be in public talking all the time. You might not have to be on a stage to be public speaking. And the thing is, even people that are quote unquote scared to speak in public, they're not scared to speak in public because you put them around their friend or somebody who they like or somebody they're just comfortable with, they trust and they know that, no matter what they say, that they're not going to be ridiculed for it. They don't feel fear, like there's no level of guard they have to have up. And so what they're really fearful of the people who say they're scared of public speaking what they're fearful of is the outcome and the response of what somebody might say based on what they said. So what they're really scared of is saying the wrong thing. They're not really scared to speak in public. They're scared to say the wrong thing.
Speaker 1:And it's like when you really live by the Holy Spirit, you have discernment, and it's like God speaks through you. That's a fear you can release because it's like whatever you say is on Him, when you really know that what you're saying is from him. It's like that fear I don't have, because it's like if somebody is offended, they're mad at him. Because he used me to say that to you and I don't want to hurt you, but I'm just being obedient to what he's telling me to tell you. And if he told me to tell you this, you to tell you, and if he told me to tell you this, you got to take it up with him. It's not me, you know, and again I know you have to be careful of how you do that and who you do that with, because some people don't have an awareness enough to know that God can use people like that and they will still attack you. So again, you still got to even have discernment in that area.
Speaker 2:Wow, and I want to. You know I'm loving this because we get to dive deep into some of these. You're spurring on some really incredible thought and when I think about fear, right, I view fear as a, you know, true fear, I guess, is a real and present danger that can affect you immediately, like, you know, a rattlesnake. You're in Texas, a rattlesnake is just popped up in your path and is getting ready to bite you. That is fear and our body has a mechanism and a response that allows us to deal with that fear like fight, freeze. Whatever we got to do, we're going to get out of this real, present fear, whereas when you're talking about, like public speaking, the fear that that's not true fear, that's anxiety. You know, that's the anxiety of a positive or negative outcome that could happen in the future. Well, if it's a positive outcome, it's not anxiety, it's anticipation because we can't wait for it to happen. Like I get to go to Disney World, yeah, I mean, I can't wait to get on the ride, yeah. The negative is the anxiety Public oh, somebody hears a public speaking If I talk and we'll jump back to your childhood, right, if I, if I go speak at this place, people might make fun of me. People might not like me. People may do also. We're worried about what somebody else is going to go think about us if we do that thing, whatever that is. And that's where the fear comes from.
Speaker 2:And once you start realizing that, overcoming it gets become easier and easier when you stop putting yourself in a position where you care about everything that somebody else is going to think about you and when you act and when you think about trust. I love your. I love those definitions of trust where they're integrity, you know, or discernment, you know, because it's like I'm not going to put my life in your hands, chris, you know, because I don't know you like, yeah, you can take care of my life, but I do trust you enough to help me get to the corner if I need to ask you for a stoplight. So there's these levels of trust, but there's so many people who don't trust at all. Right, they're like until you prove that I can trust you, I'm not giving you any trust Because of what happened in my past or what I've seen happen in history.
Speaker 2:When I see, well, because white men had us as slaves in the 1800s, I'm never going to trust another white man again, and that isn't even part of our reality. It's part of our ancestors' reality and there's something to it and you have to go in with, like you said, discernment. But that doesn't mean you don't distrust everybody. They make them have to prove it. So I love that thought process that you have on. Yeah, you can have all the integrity in the world. I'm not going to put my life in your hands because you might be a good person, but I've seen you. I've seen you react to things and you go off the handle or whatever it is, and so, no, I'm not, or I haven't seen any of that, and you haven't proven to yourself or to me that you could do that. And then, so what level of trust do people need to be at?
Speaker 1:You said something that's really key and you think about skill set. When you have higher skill sets, you have higher abilities to trust and you have higher abilities to discern. And sometimes you know, when people say like like blanket statements, you know, like all white men or all dogs or all women or whatever, like that's really lazy language and it just causes you to just put a blanket over something that you don't have to like, refine your skill set a little bit more to look into, because even discernment, discernment is a skill. Oh yeah, it's something you have on, you know. And it's like sometimes people just take the easy way out to say you know what I don't trust? I don't trust white man, period. That's, that's lazy.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying because it's like all white men are bad, just like all black people are not good.
Speaker 2:But it's like to just say all it's just lazy.
Speaker 1:It's like you know what, I don't even have to think about it, I don't even have to try to figure out who's who. I'm going to just put them all in the same box, in the same bucket, and it's like sometimes protect ourselves because we're lazy with language and we're language like we're lazy with skill sets as well. But it's like when you really develop certain skill sets, it allows you to remove certain apprehension that a lot of people have, because they have to like not look at things as a blanket, but look at things from a situational perspective. They have to like not look at things as a blanket, but look at things from a situational perspective that is so true.
Speaker 2:One of the things that you brought up because we're having this conversation is you've been bringing up faith and you've been bringing up your relationship. How has that relationship that you have with God impacted you in the world? And being able to move forward and to be able to create this success? What?
Speaker 1:is. You know what does that look like from when you were a kid to you know being able to trust in God all the way through where you're at now. You know two areas identity and income. Okay, and I say identity because one of the things that keep people stuck but specifically quote unquote black men stuck is they depend on their enemy for their identity and they depend on their enemy for their income.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, and for me it's like when I really started to learn what God said about me and I understand that he created everything in this world that we live in. It would be very unwise of me to get my identity from things that are in this world because man had a hand on it, and keep my eyes focused on what he said I am and who he said I am in the image that he said I am made, in my identity, and that because a lot of times, especially as men like we're doers, you know, but the thing that we miss is sometimes we focus more on the doing than we focus on the being. You know, and you hear people talking about I'm going to do this, then I'm going to have this, then I'll be this. You know, I'll get this job. I'm going to have this, then I'll be this.
Speaker 2:You know I'll get this job, then I'll have this, then I'll be happy, Whatever the B is on the other side and it's like we don't realize that the Bible says be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Speaker 1:The operative word is be Now, people think about transformation, but the operative word is be.
Speaker 1:You can't transform until you be what it means and what it takes to transform. First your identity has to be wrapped up in that. And I tell people all the time millionaires are millionaires because they are millionaires. Money don't make them millionaires, their identity makes them millionaires. And it's like when you think about who God said you are you're a royal priesthood, a chosen generation, you're set apart. When you really believe that and you understand that now you understand that all of these people, they're tricking me because they're fearful of what I might do to them if I really understand who I am, because they are thinking I'm going to do what they would do if they were me. And it's like we don't even understand this and again, I don't want to get too technical here but even our language, like sometimes we don't realize that the enemy puts words in our mouth for us to speak, to reinforce to our mind what he wants us to do.
Speaker 1:And he's saying like, like, like black men, for instance, you know, like, like, no other group of people identify themselves as a color except us. And that's really from, from our enemies, if you will. Because when you look at the Bible, you know and you think about Joseph, for instance, like that's how you find your identity. You know, joseph's brothers went to Egypt to go get food because they didn't have any food anywhere else. And the Bible says and again, this is not my words, the Bible says that Joseph's brothers recognize him, but Joseph recognized his brothers.
Speaker 1:So when you think about it from that perspective, if Joseph's brothers did not recognize him and he was in Egypt, what are those people look like in Egypt? Now, when you do that kind of research, that's when you start to understand who you are and where your identity lies. And there's so many people that are trying to get you to focus on everything else except what you are, because they're fearful of what you might do when you truly become and you know and understand without a shadow of a doubt who you are. Why? Because so much of it is all about capitalism. Like when you think about us as a people, specifically men like we are superior in athletics, we're superior in comedy, we're superior in entertainment, we're superior in the workforce.
Speaker 1:And again, this is not to like degrade. You know any other group that's not us. It's not to say that. I'm just saying when you look throughout history, we have really been known as the superior people in all of these different areas. And if you can take these people and you can hide their identity, you can get them to think that there's something other than they're not and you can use them to bring capital back to you.
Speaker 1:Why would you not want to do that. If you are a businessman with no integrity, you want to do that every single chance you get, because you're capitalizing off of it. So that's why people want to keep us from our identity, because they capitalize off of us. Even the prison system, when you think about how many black men go to prison every single day and it costs about $60,000 per year to house an inmate and that's a business. People want to keep you from your identity because they're capitalizing off of it. But god says different and it's like when you follow god's way now, you keep yourself from even being in situations where somebody could justify why they should lock you up for the rest of your life.
Speaker 2:So so, so good. Oh, man, Just all every single part of your conversation uh, just has me, you know, gets me thinking about. You know, uh, about things that I'm working on or things that I want to keep working on, and, uh, you've got this, you figured this out. Um, I want to show you just a quick, um, a slide, real quick, or I don't know if I can, even, I don't even know how to work this thing. Okay, I'll just, yeah, share this real quick, and I'm not just trying to market myself right now, it's just me thinking about, you know, the things that you're sharing, and so I don't know if you can see the screen, but I have a book that's coming out this month that talks exactly about what you just said. Be do have be, undeniable, unmitigated, undisputable, ultimate, successful. Not do have be and certainly not have do be. Listen, I just want everybody to know.
Speaker 2:Listen.
Speaker 1:I just want everybody to know this was not planned. I didn't even know he was writing a book on this. This was not scripted or anything like that. Isn't this very identifiable?
Speaker 2:I love it Basically, just watch the podcast. You don't need to read the book because you just shared with us all the stuff that's in there. Oh my gosh, I hate that we're running out of time. We'll figure out how to do this some more again later, because I want to continue to have conversations with you. But what didn't we get to talk about that you wanted to make sure that we know about? We know about you, we have access. What is it that you're doing? That kind of stuff that we didn't get to share because we had so much fun diving in deep? I mean, we don't get to do deep too many times with other folks. We talk, so surface all the time. Yeah, how's the weather, how you doing? We jumped in today, so tell us what we missed you doing.
Speaker 1:We jumped in today, so go ahead and tell us what we missed. I think something else that would really be good for people to just consider and work towards is healthier relationships and, by the grace of God, marriage.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I say that because, no matter what you're going through, no matter what your financial status is, no matter if you hate work or you have a challenge with your kids or family, when you have that one person by your side that you 100% have committed to, you're in covenant with, you believe in, you know they have your back and you have theirs. It just makes every single thing else around you better, no matter how bad it is. And I think that when people like put or regain a hope back in marriage, I think it's not only, it's not going to only improve our communities, I think it's going to improve our world. And it's like a lot of times I think there are challenges specifically in black relationships because both the woman and the man are a part of a joint traumatic experience that neither one of us is responsible for a joint traumatic experience, but neither one of them are responsible for it. But they experience it and it's like, because they're in it, they want somebody to be empathetic to their trauma on both sides. And it's like, how can you be empathetic to somebody's trauma when you're not aware that they're dealing with something that's just as painful as yours is? And it's like, and I think like.
Speaker 1:With that being said, that's something that's really important for us to consider, because I think when we understand that there's trauma on the other side, this person is not just acting this way because they don't like you. They're dealing with something they don't really know no other way how to deal with it. And it's like, I think, the more patient that we are, the more understanding that we are, the more grace we'll give people with their behaviors. That we are, the more grace we'll give people with their behaviors. Now am I saying if somebody is like beating you or hitting on you, or cheating.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying that, again, you got to use discernment. But I'm saying if somebody's attitude or whatever, or they're sometimey, like I think it's important to have grace because people are dealing with stuff that some of us we have no clue of what they're dealing with, and most of us, including myself, some of us we have no clue of what they're dealing with and most of us, including myself starting off, we don't have the tools to get over these traumas by ourselves and so we need somebody outside of us, like we need more patience, we need more understanding and truth be told. Most of us we need a safe space to say what we feel, because when it comes to different things that we've experienced, like it's taboo to even talk about certain pain that you experience in a black community, because we have no tolerance for weakness and we identify weak. And that's why, a lot of times, as men, like we don't have a safe space to go and ask a dumb question. We don't have a safe space to talk about what we're fearful of. We don't have a safe space to talk about you know, like, how much we're in love with our wives. You know, like we, like I said, we talk about sports. Like we talk about these other idols, if you will, because that's safe, but it's very surface and it has nothing to do with us. That's going to improve our lives and it's like when we really take the time to understand that our lives are going to be so much better when, number one, we get in covenant with the person that God designed for us, life is going to be phenomenal.
Speaker 1:And one thing that I really encourage people to do is read Deuteronomy 28. I'm not going to give you a whole bunch of scripture, but I encourage you to read Deuteronomy 28, because when you read and understand Deuteronomy 28, you start to see yourself, you start to see your family, you start to see the world around you and you start to see what's really possible, because one of the verses in there it says that you will be the head only, like you will be on top but never believe. You know you will be blessed and not cursed, and it's like all of these things. It gives this extreme positive and it's extreme negative, and we continuously experience the extreme negative because we're not doing what the front of that chapter tells us to do. The extreme negative because we're not doing what the front of that chapter tells us to do, because it's pros and cons, it's the opposite for everything, and it's like when we do this, we're going to get that Everything has some kind of response to it. It's like when you really understand the front of what that chapter is talking about and you live your life based on that, now you're going to start to experience all of the abundance that God said he has for you Because, again, it's not about you just show up and then you bless.
Speaker 1:You got to be obedient, just like if you were a parent. You want your children to be obedient to you. God is no different from that regard. It's like we're not going to bless our kids if they're doing everything contrary to what we say, but we somehow we want God to be different because he's graceful and merciful. Yes, he is. That's why we're still alive and we get a chance to be obedient the next time around. But I encourage you, if you dig into that chapter, it will cause you to understand so many things around you and it will even cause you to understand how even some of these people in public offices, people that are racist police, you will even start to understand how even some of these people in public offices, people that are racist police. You will even start to understand how God used those same people to bring you closer to him. And again, it takes you to read that to really understand the depths of that. Now, am I justifying what they did? 100% not. But God uses everything.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Wow, uses everything. Absolutely wow, chris man, oh my gosh, something came to my mind while I was, while you were talking, um, because you're obviously an absolutely an expert in this area, and so I've been doing. I told you I was doing the show why love waits and we're we're talking about the relationships and the difference between and, as I've been hosting the show and I have like five men come on and I have five women come on and we kind of debate back and forth in that format, but what I've kind of been exploring is how can I change, maybe, the format of the show? And I'm asking you now and you don't have to answer now, we could talk about offline later if you want. But what I think I want to do is I want to invite guest hosts on. I would love for you to come and host a show of why Love Wait and talk about, from whatever perspective you want to talk, the things you just went over here. Bring in whatever guests that you think would be amazing. Maybe I can help you find some guests, but maybe every single week or every other week we bring in more hosts that bring in and talk to experts that talk about this topic, so we can begin to solve it and the more people that people can hear from they can hear it can go.
Speaker 2:Wait a minute. Yes, these relationships are important. Having God in the center of it is important, you know, knowing that there's stuff that came with our relationships that we have to address, because if we don't address it, just like what you just said, then we're doomed to fail and that's the last thing we want these relationships to do. So if you're willing, you know I'm not going to make you answer right now, but we're talking after the show to come on and we will. Just I'm saying he's coming on, I'm going to figure out how to make, figure out how he's going to make you come on as a guest house, but we'll we'll continue this show that we'll have you on.
Speaker 2:Oh, cause we can't be done talking. There is, we went an hour and eight minutes and we're not even like halfway done with all this stuff that we need to talk about. So it has been fun, it's been amazing. Uh, thank you for being on. Thank you for sharing your heart with us today. You know I can't, like I said, I can't wait to to have more time with you. Do you have any one closing thought before we end this journey today, but knowing that I'm promising you folks, chris and I are not done.
Speaker 1:I think the one thing that I would just kind of leave people with is every single day, we have wars and we have battles. You know, sometimes we can have battles in our mind, we can have battles in our lives, we can even have battles in our relationship, and the thing about a war is that a war ends you think about World War I II like it ended years ago, but a battle. It never ends. Like it ended years ago, but a battle it never ends. And the one thing that I really want people to understand and truly take to heart is that the battle is not lost unless you accept defeat. And as long as you never accept defeat, you still are winning the battle because you're still in it.
Speaker 1:And I want people to also understand that, even when it comes to leaders, like we're all leaders in our own right, even if you're only leading one person, you're still a leader in your own right, and everything that you say is a reflection of what people are going to think and feel about you in the future, when you're no longer here. And so you are creating history every single time that you like. Breathe a breath like you're living history right now, and I just encourage people to always make their expectations greater than their temptations. And if you make your expectations greater than your temptations, you will live a regret-free life at the highest level.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. Thank you, hey, don't forget. Hey, go ahead and say if you've enjoyed this show. Maybe this is your first show. Hit the subscribe button, notification button, whatever it is to be able to embark. There are so many good episodes and it's not because of me, it's because of the guests that I have on, just like Chris, go ahead and check those out. Hey, don't forget that you are God's greatest gift. He loves you. I can't wait to talk to you guys on the next one. You guys have an amazing day. Thank you again, chris. This has been awesome. We'll see you next time.