The Journey to Freedom Podcast
Journey to Freedom serves as an exclusive extension of the Living Boldly with Purpose podcast series—a platform that inspires powerful transformation and growth. Journey freedom is a podcast hosted by Brian E. Arnold. The Journey to Freedom is an our best life blueprint exclusively designed for black men where we create a foundational freedom plan. There are five pillars: Identity, Trust, Finances, Health and Faith.
The Journey to Freedom Podcast
Become Who You Need to Be
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What does it really mean to win in life? In this soul-stirring conversation, Dr. B welcomes JM Ryerson, founder of Let's Go Win and a seasoned entrepreneur who's built and sold three financial service companies. Their discussion cuts through superficial success metrics to reveal what truly matters.
JM shares his remarkable journey from Montana basketball player to successful Florida-based business leader, highlighting pivotal moments that shaped his philosophy. When a knee injury ended his athletic career, he discovered personal development while traveling through Europe—a transition that forced him to redefine his identity beyond sports. Years later, after writing a book intended just for his sons, JM found himself launching a business dedicated to helping others achieve authentic success.
The conversation tackles crucial topics rarely discussed in business circles: the power of vulnerability, especially for men taught that "boys don't cry"; the importance of self-care before attempting to serve others; and the liberation that comes from removing the masks we wear in daily life. JM's perspective challenges conventional wisdom about goal-setting, suggesting that alignment with one's authentic self matters more than arbitrary external metrics.
Perhaps most powerfully, JM asserts that "no one can change your beliefs but you," offering a framework for self-assessment through his acronym SELF (Strength, Energy, Love, Freedom). This conversation isn't just about professional achievement—it's about becoming the person you need to be to live a fulfilling life on your own terms.
Ready to take off your masks and discover what winning really means? This episode provides both the inspiration and practical guidance to begin that journey.
Connect with JM at letsgowin.com and join Dr. B's community at becomingtheperson.com to continue growing alongside like-minded individuals.
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All right, welcome to another just incredible edition of Living Boldly With Purpose. And I am Dr B, I am your host today and, as always, super excited about just life and the things that we get to do and the time that we get to spend and the relationships that we get to make. And as I do these podcasts, devin and I get further and further in them and I and I continue to do. I've done about about 400, 400 episodes now to date in the last several years. I was at a one of those networking meetings today where you know you go to the networking meeting and everybody you know talks about themselves and they were asking well, you know, have you enjoyed doing the podcast? And I said well, you know, I don't think I would have got to 400 without enjoying doing it. I would have quit.
Speaker 2:But sometimes I fail to realize that you know 80 to 90% I think the last statistic I heard was 88% of people who start podcasts never get to 10 episodes and that just blows me away because you start asking why and, as I've been doing some coaching and asking about podcasts, and I'm like so why did you stop doing your podcast? And they'll tell me things you know like it wasn't very good, or I didn't get a very big audience, or I don't know what people liked when I you know the content that I was talking about. And then I go back and I ask this one question. I say so. I mean I want you to be honest with me. I want you to tell me in your lifetime, of all the things you've learned to do and do well, have you ever done things only 10 times or eight times and been good at it?
Speaker 2:Hello, I mean like really, you thought that you were going to do one podcast or two podcasts and you were going to be really good at it. How good were you at tying your shoes or walking or any of those things? And to me it's kind of sad, because one of the things that podcasting allows you to do is to be a better communicator, is to be a better listener, is to be a better, I think, overall human being. And so, as I'm beginning, starting my community and doing all the things that I know, you know the coaching things that you do and the keynotes that you do and you know are all about helping people become the person that they need to be, but I don't know how we teach people to be more patient through the process. We live in this right.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, it's fascinating to hear that because I think of the first 10 episodes. I messed up two so badly in the first 10. I forgot to record 45 minutes of one, totally forgot to hit play or hit record. And then the second one, oh, I did the. The camera wasn't even, it wasn't even on, so I had to record both of those back to back. Like, and that's what is fascinating is for someone to stop so quickly. Gosh, this is my favorite thing that I do, brian. Like literally, I meet incredible people like yourself that are doing cool stuff in the world and it's like no, I wasn't that good at anything. I can think of the first 10 times.
Speaker 2:Right, no yeah it's fascinating.
Speaker 2:I mean, we wouldn't even go to practice if we could be good at it when we first got started.
Speaker 2:Right, when you think about athletics or anything, the things that we do, we even think about athletics or any things, the things that we do, I wouldn't think about relationships. I mean, what if you you know, sometimes, when I think of people have those arranged marriages and stuff, like, how can you be good at the conversation and the things that you have and I'm just, you know, for people to give up so quickly, you know, and to do something that is so good for them that can help them in so many ways? You know, I was, as I was talking to lots of real estate agents that were in there. I'm like, how good would you be at talking to clients if you talk to everybody that you knew? You know for an hour a day, for however many episodes, that you're able to do it. How good would you be at asking the questions and then being able to listen to the answer before you open your mouth and start talking? If anything, it just teaches you to be patient and wait for answers and stop talking. And so, like yourself, I love doing this. I love the ability to just talk to. I'm starting a community and it's called Becoming a Person Universe. You know where I want people to come in so they can become better, and I'm starting out with all of my podcast guests, so you'll be invited to come in to be able to be in the community and be able to, if you would like to, to talk about the things that you do.
Speaker 2:But why I'm so excited about it is because, now that I've done so many, it's hard sometimes to remember every conversation that I had with all of those folks, and yet when I go back and listen to them it brings up the mind and then I want to connect people. So I said oh man, jim, you would be really good to talk to. And now I'm trying to do all these connections. And it's like I can't do that many connections. But if I have a way or a place where people can get together and I can share everything that I've learned and that's the big thing for me is I'm learning so much.
Speaker 2:I feel like I'm separating from folks because I get an hour or four times a week, or whatever I'm doing, to talk to these incredible people and I get to grow, but then all the like you know, you're not on the same board that I'm on or whoever else. I mean, if you're doing, you know it's great. So I guess what I'm saying is cause I definitely want to get. The gem in this story is um, it's so cool to be able to start a podcast and I would encourage you to do that. I would encourage you to take part in it, Even if you only get to 20 episodes or 30 episodes or whatever it is. You will be a better person for doing it, and so I totally agree with you, brother.
Speaker 1:And just something to consider. Consider. I think I'm almost at 500 episodes. What if we consider collaborating, bringing them together? Now we have that big of a community. I'm just saying I believe in abundance, I believe in sharing. I I've been considering what you were talking about but I'm like gosh, I have all these other things going so we can go off there and talk about that. But it's a possibility because there's so many good people out there and I want to share. You know, I want to share their gifts with them, with all the other people I want them to know. You know, brian, and I want them to know the last guest I had, krista, and there's so many good people to connect. So it's a great idea, brother, I'm glad you're doing it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh my gosh. And what's so cool is the way that I found that most invigorates me about some of the podcasts that I do or all of them is I get to find out who the people are. You know, because a lot of people want to come on and tell this is what I do, you know, and this is you know how I do the thing that I do and this is how I do the thing that I do and this is why I got good at it. But I love to start with story, because story says this is who that person is, this is how they got to be, and I think everybody relates to. Oh yeah, I did that in my life, or I did that in my life. I was doing one. Yes, we adopted a few boys that were on the Maury Povich show back in the 90seties, like 95, and the guy that was I was on his podcast yesterday and I he was asking me about that story and I said he says I was on the Maury Povich still one month later. And then you just think of how small the world really is and how we connect and I would say in every single podcast there's somebody that I can connect to in a way that relates to me, and I learned so much like, oh, I did that, but if I would have did what you do or did, I might have been better off right now.
Speaker 2:But now I'm going to do it. I'm going to take that example. You know, I cannot have a pen and not write down stuff. Here's how dumb I was. But I was watching podcasts, or I go on a podcast, I would watch a person's podcast and I'm like diligently taking notes and I'm like trying to write down so fast. And then I realized, oh, dude, I could push pause. I could actually just stop, take my time, write it down so I can read it and then go further. And I'm like it took me like 20 or 30 podcasts to figure out. Oh yeah, the pause button allows me to take my time, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:But I go back and watch all of these and I take even more notes from what we do live, and so it's so fun. And so I want you to tell your story. You know the floor is going to be yours and I can tell them. I guess they can start wherever they want. It's their story. They can't get it wrong. You know, sometimes I go what if I said you can't, it's your story, you can't? I mean, it's whatever it is, even if you, even if you lied, I wouldn't know. I guess the people that are your friends and family would know that didn't happen. Then that's another chance to talk and play and joke with them. If you did so, please tell your story. I can't wait to hear it. I can't wait to chop it up as another fellow podcaster that's out there that's doing the work, that's getting it done, who's out there doing keynotes, I can't wait to hear what you have to say and take notes. So go ahead and tell us exactly who you are and can't wait.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, I appreciate that. And can't we? Yeah, man, no, I appreciate that. And I guess I will start as we talked off air. You know you said where, where do you live with? You know common question that we ask. And I live in Florida now, but I'm originally a Montana kid and I'm proud of that. It's something that I love. Growing up in the Rockies, I love fly fishing, exploring the mountains. That was really what I grew up doing outside of just being an athlete.
Speaker 1:And I ended up playing basketball in college until I blew out my knee for the third time. And then I ended up going to study abroad, in the Netherlands. Well, why is that important? When I got back from studying in the Netherlands, somehow, someway, I ended up graduating college in four years. So I ended up going to three schools, got two degrees in four years. I don't know how it's possible, all those credits transferred, but they did and I ended up moving almost directly from Montana to Northern California. I didn't mean to. Honestly, I was my brother, graduated high school, I graduated college and I took a road trip. Honestly, I was my brother, graduated high school, I graduated college and I took a road trip, and my uncle lived out in Folsom, california, and I had another one in Huntington beach, so we go do this trip. On the way back up, uh, on the way back from Huntington beach to Montana, I called my mom and I said you know, I'm going to drop Pat my brother, off to you in Nevada, I'm going to go back and hang out with my uncle. And I ended up staying in California for almost 20 years. Oh gosh, and that's where I met my wife that we've been married now for 20 years. We have two sons. We have 19 and 15-year-old boys. They are truly the everything.
Speaker 1:I built and sold three financial service companies in that time and it was a great, great place. I met a lot of wonderful people, but in the process I knew I was going to sell that third company and I decided you know what? For some tax purposes, I'm going to go ahead and leave California. We ended up in a more tax friendly state, in Florida, and so that's where I've been for the last four and a half years and I built my current company called let's Go Win.
Speaker 1:And Brian, I didn't mean to start this company. Honestly I didn't. I wrote my first book the orange one behind me called let's go win, and I actually wrote that book for our two sons because I wanted them to have a road map in case my wife and I got hit by a bus that they would know some of the philosophies that we had. And the gal I was working with said man, you're selfish. And I said what are you talking about? She said if you only share this book with two human beings, you're selfish. And I said you're right, publish a book.
Speaker 1:And it just took me on this beautiful journey that let's Go Win is, and so, between coaching, consulting, podcasting, writing a few more books, that's what I've been doing and I just I love it, man, let's Go Win. I'm truly passionate about it. I get a chance to inspire people to live their best lives. I get a chance to coach, consult, partner with companies, because why I get hired is people hire me to double their revenue. That's really what I guess God's gift was to me, and so that's what I'm doing today and it's so much fun, man. I just I love meeting great people, doing cool stuff, and when I get a chance to do what I love, which is sales leadership, building teams and they get to do what they're great at, a lot of times it's a. It's a pretty cool synergy. So that's me in in a nutshell, and I you know, I guess two to three minutes.
Speaker 2:Man so good and what that did is brought up like way so many questions for me and you. As we do stuff and kind of our lives are paralleled in a lot of ways. I was a you know an athlete and ended up in California for 25 years, you know. So I was there in Southern California. My son and daughter my son works for Pixar, so he's up in Northern California, and a daughter that lives up there that is working for a pottery barn, I think is what it is, one of those companies that she works for and she's doing some real estate and it's just so fun to go back. I just got back from California last week.
Speaker 2:But what I really want to kind of talk about it as you come from Montana. You know I'm out in state Rocky Mountain State. I grew up here in Denver and we're trying to learn how do we have our best lives and what does that look like? And there's an identity, you know I think Tony Robbins somebody said you know, the most powerful force in the universe is being congruent with the identity you hold for yourself. And I want to kind of know, as you were growing up, what that identity looked like, because you literally went from this small there's no town in Montana that's big, so I can't say that it's a big town, right, it's a small town into you know.
Speaker 2:Now you're traveling all over the world. You're going to the Netherlands, you're going, you know, to college and then you end up in Northern California, which is pretty populated. And who you were, how did you maintain or keep or knew you were going to be successful? I can't wait to talk about your book. But what in your identity did, maybe had to shift? Or was it just you had such great upbringing that you always knew that the world was your. You couldn't lose.
Speaker 1:I mean. So here's it's a really good question, because identity is such a big thing for us. And when I blew out my knee for the third time, I suddenly went from being JM the athlete to now just a normal student. That was a huge thing for me at a early age, at 20, 21 years old. That now I'm going from. Everything I've done is sports. That's how people know me, that's how I've you know really that. That's how I identified. And one of the best things that happened to me was that last surgery.
Speaker 1:And here's why because I got a chance to find myself while I was traveling all through Europe on trains myself, while I was traveling all through Europe on trains. That's when I started my self-development journey, reading a ton of books, and it got me to ask questions such as who am I? What do I really want out of this life? And these are questions that oftentimes we get stuck on Like I don't know what I really want to do at 20 years old, shoot, I'm 47 now and there's days that I'm like I'm not quite sure if I'm, because we're always evolving, but the identity shift to your point. I went from being the athlete to now a normal student and then I became a reader and then, when I moved to California, I went right into business and next thing I know, I became an entrepreneur.
Speaker 1:Now, what I would say is, I'm not a big fan of labels unless they serve you, and one of the things that I found served me was being an entrepreneur. I really liked the feeling. I liked what it brought to me in terms of I value freedom, liked what it brought to me in terms of I value freedom, I value freedom of time, I value freedom financially, and so for me, it was really finding that identity to say, okay, I identify as a reader, I identify as someone that loves competing and winning, and that just served me well, whether it was on the athletic, you know, on the, on the playing basketball, or it was on, you know, the business side of things, it always served me. And so when I moved to California, I just, you know, identified is that you know the positive ways that helped me. Being a reader, having a growth mindset, really, you know, wanting to win. That served me in business, just as it did on when I was playing hoops or I was playing football or baseball.
Speaker 2:So when I think of like identity and you know what we hold for ourselves and I just I just finished a book called Be Do have you know, the ultimate success pile is becoming the person before you try to go do it. I would love if you could give me any examples in your life where you tried to do and have before you became the person. I got lots of them and I love to ask that question because so many of us think that that's the way to go. Right, let me just start doing, or let me get. Our society allows us to have things, so let's say it's a material thing, it's a car or something like that, so we go buy this car that we can't afford. Then we go well, what do I got to do to be able to keep it and maintain and do everything. But I've never yet become the person. And you just kind of talked about you know your personal self-development journey that you went through. That allowed you to become what are maybe a couple things that you might have done where you go?
Speaker 1:wait, that was kind of backwards I mean, I I think a lot of people can relate to that when they have kids. I became a dad overnight and it was like whoa, was I really prepared for that? Not, I mean, did I know what the heck I was doing? Not really, but I knew I had this brand new baby boy that just changed my entire life. That immediately was a shock, right, because who? Who prepared you for that? Who? You didn't go through school, you didn't go through how to learn how to be a dad. You had to become that as that child came in and you learned to do that, and you know it's so interesting.
Speaker 1:You were talking about the podcast people. You know malcolm gladwell wrote, you know about 10 000 hour rule. You said 10 episodes. They just forgot three zeros. It's like they did 10 episodes. It's like no, no, 10,000 hours before you get to mastery.
Speaker 1:And so if you look at that, what in your life have you actually mastered? So, for instance, you and I both have done a lot of podcasts, but I haven't done 10,000 hours for it. Right, so we're getting better at it, but there's another level and there's another level, and so I think I'm constantly becoming. I'm still becoming as as a parent. I'm still becoming as a you know, really knowing myself, because we're constantly changing, and so I don't really believe that I I'll ever arrive, because the moment I do, then I stopped learning, then I stopped growing. I think I'm dead in the water already. So I think the majority of my life, whether it was writing books or podcasting or starting businesses, I think I was doing way before I'd become what, what was required. But that's the beauty of it is, I got to get knocked down and I got to screw things up and I got to learn and continue to become. So I think that's one of those questions where we're constantly becoming.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it has to be. Even if you, if you're able to, I think you can't help. But do something. Once you, you know, become that person. So let's say it's shooting free throws, right, you, you, you're going to always have to continue to get better at shooting free throws, but once you've done so many, you now become the person who knows how to shoot a free throw. Now you can't help but shoot correctly and then you get to have whatever you get, to have the enjoyment of it going through the net and then being able to score the points that come from it.
Speaker 2:But how many people go up there and like I want to have all these points in a basketball game but I don't know how to shoot? You know, and I haven't. Even you know I'm going to do it, I'm going to go ahead and shoot but it's never going to go in because I haven't gone through the techniques and the fundamentals and all that practice, things that allow you to become the person when you started, you know, thinking about, you talked about doing a lot of reading and yourself, yourself, self-development process. How would you and I know you coach folks as well how do you help somebody find where to start? Because everybody tells you, everybody coaches you and says you need to have self-development. In fact, 20 percent of your life needs to be. You know you growing and learning. And then you know coming like well, where do I start? What do I do? You know how did you find that? And then you know how are you helping folks figure out? Where do I start in this journey?
Speaker 1:So I was pretty fortunate, my sister actually gave me my first. It was the art of motorcycle maintenance, the Zen art of motorcycle maintenance. And then, shortly after that, then, I think, I picked up Think and Grow Rich. Then I picked up Man's Search for Meaning. So I went into some deep books fast, but I wasn't even a reader. I didn't really enjoy reading through the majority of my life until I was riding on these trains. So for me, I got fortunate that my sister gave me a book and I fell in love with it.
Speaker 1:Now to your point, with other people that are going, well, I don't even know where to start. I like to ask questions. I like to ask people. You know, what are you really searching for? What? What is it that you'd like to um, you know, get better at? What is it that you'd like to get better at? What is something that you're interested in? And if they're like abundance or mindset or business, because I've read so many different things, I have a chance to say well, you might enjoy this. And one of the first questions I like to ask, brian is are you, are you, a reader? I actually just, uh, yesterday I had a group coaching with with a gal and I asked her and she said no, I'm really not Well. Immediately, I know I'm not going to give her a 400 page book that she's going to never finish Right I?
Speaker 1:gave her a parable that I'm like. I think you can absolutely get through this, because not that reading is the end all be all, because I don't care, you could listen to it, you could listen to a podcast, but what I want people to do is continuously want to learn and to be curious. So I think it's just asking those questions what are you looking for? What really gets you going, and then kind of help guide them to. This is my experience. This is what I enjoyed, because some of the books I mentioned I think they're amazing, but that doesn't mean they're amazing for everyone.
Speaker 2:Oh, so good, and you're telling this story is like some of these you dug into and I'm thinking I wasn't a reader and myself for a self-help book was probably not. It was me watching crusty demons of dirt and trying to be a dirt bike rider with jerry mcgrath. And those guys are there. But but literally, I think you know the magic of thinking big was one of those. You know, the greatest salesman in the world, uh, the alchemist, some of those that are like easy, easier to read books that kind of started me on my journey. But you're so right because I think there were people, mentors or people in my life that suggested the books based on questions they had asked me.
Speaker 2:You know, and I can remember so many times where I just showed up at the back then you know we had bookstores that you would go to.
Speaker 2:Before there was an Amazon and you would just, you know there was a self-help section that was like the smallest section in the whole. You know the whole bookstore and then you just kind of close your eyes and then you pick one, but then I don't know, you know, without somebody recommending based on maybe, something they've read, it might've been a little bit harder, but then, once you get that, that muscle of of, and I want to learn, you know, and now it's like I can, you know where, I think 20 years ago, man, I, you know it was hard to just to pick up and read a few pages of something and really wanting to listen to, you know, the Tony Robbins or the Les Browns or the Zig Ziglars or the guys that were there, and I didn't even know who they were, you know. And then today, you know, as I, as I'm, sometimes we, sometimes we as folks that are in this space I think we believe that everybody's in the same space as we are and then, like, that 400 page book is what we try to give to folks to be able to do stuff. And so thank you for kind of just walking through that Kind of talk about your first book that you wrote, what inspired you to write it and then what, but maybe some of after you wrote it, like wow, this is better than I thought it was, and maybe some of the things that people have, you know, been able to do as a result, or at least told you that they've been able to do as a result.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, know, I talked about writing that book for almost five years before I actually put pen to paper. And at some point I because I put my bathroom goals or I put my goals in my bathroom here, excuse me and my eight-year-old at the time said hey dad, how's that book coming? And now you, it had been on my goals for three years and I will never lie to my kids. So I had to sheepishly look at my eight year old and say I have a little bit of chapter one done. Within six months. I finished writing the book because he inspired me and deflated me all at the same time. Because he checked me on you said this is important, you're teaching us that, you know. Checked me on. You said this is important, you're teaching us that you know, put your goals in the mirror and so you hold yourself accountable. And I wasn't doing it. And once I finished it, brian, it was such a great experience not even so much for the kids, because that same kid, my eight-year-old, who's now 15 he still hasn't read the book fully, so as much as it was for him and and his older brother, it ended up being a much bigger thing because I got to share with the world, and you know, one of the cool things I start with vulnerability is chapter one.
Speaker 1:Now, why is that important? Well, I was taught the boys don't cry. That was literally a lesson that I was taught as a as a young person, and I think it's absolutely terrible advice. Now, that was what my dad was taught from his grand, from his dad, and his dad was taught from his dad, and one of the things I wanted my boys to know is a it's not great advice. I don't believe that it doesn't make you less of a man. And b I want you to be able to really show up as your authentic self, to truly be vulnerable. Uh, so you can show up as the best version of you, and I've had so many people that have come up and said, oh my gosh, I can't believe you started with that chapter, but thank you, because I, as a man or a female, I was taught that I'm not supposed to show those emotions, that it made me weak somehow and you know, obviously, brene Brown's done incredible work in this space on vulnerability and I only did a chapter on it, but it was one of those things that I wanted my, my boys, to know. A it's okay for you to cry. B I don't want you to stuff your emotions deep down. I want you to share them so that you can show up as the best version of you.
Speaker 1:So, story after story of just people that may have been inspired. They laughed about, you know about some of the stories in the book. It inspired them to do something to be better. That's ultimately all the reason I wrote it. It was intentionally for my boys initially, but it's become so much bigger and it's cool, man. It's one of those things my wife told me today. She's like we've got another royalty check. So people are still buying the book at Amazon, which is cool, and apparently they're still getting some value, which makes me happy. That it's. You know it's keeping that going.
Speaker 2:When I think of winning and the, like you said, being vulnerable and the steps that that folks need to go through, then I also think about all the people that I talk to who think that they won because their team won or their favorite sports, and you know, they come back and they got the. You know the name of the, whoever their favorite players are. And I'm not saying sports aren't good. We were both in sports, we both love sports. It's amazing, but how do we help people go? No, this is your life and your ability to win, not living through somebody else who wins and I don't want to take you to the stream of just professional sports. What about all the dads that are on the sidelines of their kids and they're living this winning moment through their kids and the lessons they're teaching them? And so maybe just kind of your thoughts on winning and not others winning.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I get this question a lot. Having a company like let's Go Win, people ask me all the time, what does winning mean? And so I started to say, well, gosh, I think I know what winning means. But then I actually went and looked it up and there's a word you're going to see every single time when you look up winning. You're going to see self-development, you're going to see self-growth, you're going to see self-love, you're going to see self-care. The word self is in front every time you look up the definition. Okay, well, to your point, it's not about somebody else when it starts with us. So I actually teach people to win from within. But when I looked at self, I was like, okay, well, what does self mean? I think I have an idea. It's like ourself. Well, to me, self stands for strength, energy, energy, love and freedom. And where do you fall in these areas of strength? From a mental, from a physical and from emotional standpoint? Where do you from an energetic standpoint? Where do you stand from a mental, physical and emotional standpoint?
Speaker 1:And I go through each one of the S, e, l, f, and that's one of the things I train people on, because so often people forget to take care of themselves and also, especially, my female clients.
Speaker 1:I've talked about this many times. When I ask my, my moms and gals that I'm working with I'll, I'll ask them one question every single time. I'll say what did you do for yourself today? And they'll list the kids, the house, the husband, the dog, the car, the I mean the email it's a litany of stuff and I said no, no, no. What did you do for you? And they've almost become conditioned that because they have this maternal thing, I need to take care of everyone else first. Well, the problem with that is, if you don't take care of you, you can't show up as the best version for your family, for your kids, for your job, and so taking care of yourself to me, that is winning. That self-care that you give yourself every single day, that is truly winning, because that allows you to show up as the best version of you in whatever hat that you're wearing.
Speaker 2:Well, yes, that is so good, you know, because one of the things that we often talk about is our ability to serve others, like I usually ask my guests a question like when you're, you know, in order to become the person or live boldly with purpose, in order to live in purpose, I don't know if you can do that without serving others.
Speaker 2:You know, I think it's like that's a prerequisite of being able to live in purpose. But I think the part that sometimes we forget is what you were just talking, because if you don't, if you haven't served the self portion of it, you can't be able to serve others in a way that is going to impact them in ways that will change forever. Because if you're not whole if you're, I mean, we can be working on it. So I'm not saying you got to be perfected, but if you're not working on you, it's really hard to help others. I mean, would you agree with that? I mean, when you think about living in purpose and serving others, what are some of the things we got to make sure we do for ourselves in order to be able to do that?
Speaker 1:Well, it's a great point. And you cannot pour from an empty cup. At the end of the day, If you're not filling your cup, you can't give anymore. And there's a universal law, the law of ask and receive. Like it's given, receive, given, receive. You can't just give and give and give. If you do that, you're upsetting a universal law and it everything falls apart. And that was something I had to learn, Brian, because I like to give, I love to help others, but guess what? You also need to be able to receive. And I'll give you a simple example.
Speaker 1:If somebody gives you a compliment, they're like hey, Brian, you look good man. So often people will be like well, you know, it's kind of an off hair day, or they'll deflect the entire compliment instead of just saying two words Thank you. And what's so fascinating about that is you're actually taken away from that person's joy because they are trying to give a compliment. They are trying to say hey, man, I see you, I think you're awesome. And instead of just saying thank you, people will be like nah, nah, nah, and they're going to try and be humble. The problem with that is you're literally stealing their joy and some of us that learn to be humble and have humility.
Speaker 1:These are lessons I had to learn. When somebody gives you a compliment, all you have to do is say thank you, and now you're feeding them, they're feeding you, and now you were in flow with one another. So it's a universal law you have to give. You also have to receive. So again, moms, dads, listening, you can't just give and give and give to your kids. You have to receive. You need to receive that love for yourself first, so that you can continue to pour into them.
Speaker 2:Wow, so, so, so good. I was just thinking about that, you know, as you were saying that, you know, I told you guys at that meeting this morning and so many people came up to me and to me now it's just thank you, thank you. I appreciate that. But, yeah, five, 10, 20 years ago, there's no way. I said, oh, no, no, you know, and taking that away, well, really, what my head really popped to right now when you just said that is some of the affirmations that you know.
Speaker 2:So folks are getting started that are saying, and they'll say, and they'll give these affirmations out to the universe, so they'll put them on the mirror and they'll look at themselves, but do they really receive it back to themselves? As you know, hey, I, I'm good at what I do, or I, you know, I love the person that I'm becoming, or whatever that affirmation is. Are you receiving that in order for it to actually, I guess, take seed and then grow into the person that you're trying to become? I mean, is that, I mean, even if we're doing it for ourselves? Is that like something that you try to help people out with, and that receiving part is even the things we say to ourself or the things that we do to ourselves. We have to be kind, I guess.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a huge point because, look, as great as our parents were, they may have taught us some things that maybe weren't so great, and and myself included as a parent, right, we have self-limiting beliefs that we gave to our, to our kids. That's just part of the deal, and so I'm going to. I'll call her Jennifer. I have a client. She's incredibly smart, she's funny, she's beautiful. She doesn't believe any of those things. She has a real self-worth challenge because of, you know, some of her self-limiting beliefs that she got from being a. She danced growing up and so you had to be perfect, you had to be of a certain weight, you had to look a certain way, and one of the things I taught her was you have to rewire the subconscious. And so to your point with these affirmations.
Speaker 1:One of my favorites that I say all the time to clients is it's called the perfect affirmation I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy.
Speaker 1:And when I told her that, I said, jennifer, I need you to just start to repeat this. She says, but I don't believe it. I said I understand that, but if you do it for the next 90 days, you're going to start to, because your brain literally does not know the difference between reality and what, what you're telling. It does not know the difference. So if you're feeding it these positive affirmations and you're really starting to like right before bed, if that's the last thing that jennifer does which is one of the pieces of homework I give her the last thing before bed I need you to say I'm whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy, and go to sleep. And now I'm starting to see her blossom into this incredible woman that I can see, but she just couldn't see it for herself. But it's taking these affirmations, it's taking some of the rewiring of her subconscious so that she can start to receive that in the mirror and and start to tackle some of the self-limiting beliefs she had as a kid.
Speaker 2:Gosh, you just hit home on so many things and when I think you, you mentioned this this world where conscious mind doesn't know the difference. You know, our unconscious mind doesn't know the difference and you think about the invisible world that is part of our lives. When people say, well, there's no real invisible world, I'm like pick up a cell phone and talk to somebody or what we're doing, right, I'm in Colorado and you're in Florida. There's an invisible world Somehow. Your picture is showing up on my screen. I can't grab you and touch you.
Speaker 2:It is absolutely 100% true. And the things that we bring into it. It is absolutely 100% true. And the things that we bring into it. Sometimes it seems more real than that world that we, and I especially, think about that when we start thinking about social media and our kids and the things that they're growing up and seeing, people's perfect lives and this underworld. Is there a way to really connect that invisible world to what our reality, or just start believing our invisible world is more powerful? How are you helping people just kind of, you know, I guess understand the difference between the two, or that they're the same and there really isn't a difference? What's your thoughts there?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a huge point because ultimately, we create our own reality. You know, yes, this is a physical place that we're in, but you are creating your reality by what thoughts you grab a hold of. Now you mentioned your kids and I'll give you an affirmation that I told my kids. It's way too long, but every day since they have been born, I have either said it for them or they said it once they could. And I would ask them are you a leader? They say yes. I say why? They say because I'm confident, strong, intelligent, athletic, good looking, dynamic, popular, talented, independent boy with growth mindset. Now, why did I do that? Because the world at some point was going to tell my kids that they're not confident, that they're not strong, that they're not athletic, that they're not. You know, they're ugly. They're going to tell them these things and I want them to know that with 100% certainty, you are these things, no matter what the world tells you.
Speaker 1:And I have a really cool story. I won't tell the whole long thing, but my son was being bullied because this kid called him fat. And I said well, what happened, trey? And this is my younger son, and he said well, I said what did you say and he said I just said I'm confident, strong, intelligent, athletic, good looking, dynamic, popular, talented, independent boy with growth mindset. And I said what'd the bully do? He goes. He didn't know what to do, dad, and I was so proud as a dad, I was like he literally combated this bully and by saying no, this is who I am, it doesn't matter what you say. And so if a seven-year-old can do that which is how old Trey was when that happened I think a 47-year-old, I think a 57-year-old, I think any age can do the same thing for themselves.
Speaker 1:Because here's the truth People are going to say terrible things about you at some point in your life and you need to have the resolution and strength and confidence to say that's just their opinion. I have no control over their opinion. I have no control over their opinion. I only have control over my thoughts and no one. Here's the hard truth for people to accept, and I want you to hear this, guys no one can change your beliefs, but you. You are the only person that can do that. Now I know you're saying no, my husband or wife or my kids they can push my buttons? Nope, they don't have that power. Only you have that power. But what are you feeding? Just like Brian was talking about earlier, what are you feeding your mind on a daily basis? Are you feeding it positive things, are you telling yourself that you're amazing and powerful and strong, or are you buying into just someone else's opinion?
Speaker 2:I mean, if we never talk about anything else. What you just said is you're the only person that can change your beliefs. Nobody else can. And if we can come to grips and believe that wholeheartedly about everything that we do, our life is a different life. Our life is a different, oh my gosh. So, jumping into beliefs real quick.
Speaker 2:When I think about goals and I wish I was the man that I am now when my kids were you know a little bit Well, I was trying to figure out what it meant to be a dad.
Speaker 2:Right Now they're a bit older, they're trying to get it. But I start thinking about, because I think my beliefs in what I was taught about how to set goals have changed, and I would love to get your opinion, because there was always. What are these smart goals? Are these things that have you know that they would tell me, and they have to have a due date and they have to have all these things.
Speaker 2:And now my belief is I can't control some of those things that I was right, I could write them down, but I can't control the date that something's going to happen. I can control the activity that I do and can predict, maybe, the outcome, but now when I start thinking about the goals and, like you said, you wrote the goal of writing your book and getting that done you can. You can do the activity of writing and putting pencils to paper, but the actual date that it gets, you know all those things when we think, and those are all beliefs, right, I believe I can do these things. Talk to me a little about your goals and how you help folks with goals these days.
Speaker 1:Brother, this is such a cool question and here's why I firmly believe in goals. So we're clear. However, you said exactly something that I think is so important there's only two things that we're really in full control of Our activity you mentioned and our attitude. It's the two things that no one has any control over. We have full control over our attitude and our activity. Now, can we control that COVID happened and the world shut down? No, we can't. Or when the 2008 housing crash happened, can we shut down? No, we can't. Or when the 2008 housing crash happened, can we control that? No, we can't. Can we troll when natural disasters? No, we can't.
Speaker 1:And I guess, to that point, brother, what I have learned is look, I have goals that I'm striving for, but I'm so much more focused on is it in alignment and is it fulfilling for me? Because I used to put goals down that other people would think would be something to go for Making seven figures in a year. I happened to make it at a very young age. I was 27 the first time I did it, but it didn't do anything for me. I didn't feel more fulfilled. I knocked, in fact, because of my self-limiting beliefs on money. I actually felt terrible.
Speaker 1:And so, as now that I'm 47 years old, now I can look at it and go that's cool if I make seven figures, but what does that have to do with me? And alignment, and, and like freedom. If it's in alignment with freedom, which it is financially, then cool, let's go ahead and do that, but it has to be in complete alignment, or I'm just not that interested in it and I wouldn't have said that even 10 years ago, I really didn't have this amount of clarity of what I wanted, until, I would really say, since I lost my dad, just about three years ago. That's when I got such clarity that, look, we don't have a lot of time on this earth.
Speaker 1:I want to live every day on purpose. That's why I love the name of your show. I want to live on purpose, I want to live boldly, I want to truly be fulfilled. But I didn't have that clarity until I lost my dad. I really believe. So, as awful as it was and as tragic as it was, it's one of those lessons that I gained in that moment. And so, yes, I believe in goals. I'd still write them down today, but I make sure that they're completely in alignment with me or I'm not chasing them Wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so good, I got the three A's out of there, right, the triple A alignment, activity, alignment and attitude, and those three things that if those are in place, then your goals can make sense. The question I have, just as I think about the word enough, comes up so much enough to be able, whether it's to do whatever it is that it is, or you know that those limiting beliefs that didn't serve either of us or a whole lot of people, because we just don't believe that you know whether God's given it to us or or you know we didn't get it when we were growing up, or all these things what are some things that you do to help people realize we're more than enough, that we are these special, incredible beings?
Speaker 1:You know, that's one of my favorite things about coaching and it's when people ask me how come you can double my company's revenue? Well, how did you do that? In large part, it came down to that B, that belief. I believe in it because I'm coming in blind to a company. I don't have all the emotional baggage, I don't have the scars, I just see pure potential, just like the Jennifer Klein I was talking about. I see this incredible human being, this amazing company. I see nothing but the best, and so I instill that belief.
Speaker 1:The challenge that we have and this is why having coaches that around you are so important they can see you in a greater light than you can probably see yourself. That mirror that you look into it lies to you all the time. Yes, it does, because you don't see what other people see. It's just like with my kids. I tell my kids all the time there's nothing they can't accomplish and I mean it to the core. If they truly are willing to put in the work and they're willing to execute, there's nothing they can't accomplish, and I believe that.
Speaker 1:But what happens is, along the way we get knocked down, we get a setback. We have these, you know, uh, financial challenges we have, you know, death and and loss, and things happen, and so then we start to believe that you know what it just wasn't meant to be. I, this is what happened. Therefore, I can't, and they're all excuses, so we're clear. But what I try to do with all of my clients and anybody that I partner in is I bring that B and it's actually the most recent keynote that I just put together. I call it the ABCs that change everything, and that B is belief, and it's just something that I see it in people, just like people can see it in me. That's why I have coaches, right. What am I missing when I'm looking in that mirror? So it's, it really is just, you know, not having the scars and the baggage and and just realizing that you can do anything that you put your mind to and if you're willing to put in the work and execute, wow.
Speaker 2:Hey guys, I was just thinking that at the last question I said, oh man, how to live a triple A life? But we just added another A, which is associations to my triple A life. So now I got to figure out how to do that. And you know, as I kind of started the show and talk to everybody about the power of doing a podcast, no-transcript, and so I feel like I just stole an hour of your life so that you could help me, and I've been really selfish of it, and so I want to take the last 10 minutes and have you just talk about what you want to talk about and things that weren't, that were Dr B going. Hey, help me, I feel like I'm laying on the couch and you're just pouring into me all these wonderful things. But yeah, you came on my podcast, so there's got to be a few things that you want to make sure that all of our listeners get to hear. So please take some time and share that.
Speaker 1:I mean, look, brother, I love what I do, so that that for me, that fills my bucket. Because, as I'm talking to you in the audience, guess what I'm talking to myself too. Right, I need this just as much as anybody. I need to remind myself to do all these things. I guess what I would say you know, something I'm I am passionate about is I love growing businesses, brother. I absolutely love it. And if somebody's listening and they're like you know what? I want to double my revenue. I want to make more money. Maybe we're a good fit, Maybe we are. Look me up, I'm not saying we're a definite, because you don't know me.
Speaker 2:I don't know you.
Speaker 1:But what I've found, brian, is when I team up with the right group. What I've found, brian, is when I team up with the right group, it is so cool because they have their zone of genius and then I get to do mine. So that would be one thing. I would also say you know, just, I want people to really hear to take off their masks. It's something I wrote about in my first book and it's something that I truly am passionate about. Think about this for a second Masks are meant for parties.
Speaker 1:They are not meant for everyday life. Take them off. It gets heavy, man, when you're wearing these masks everywhere you go. I just want people to take them off and show them their beautiful self out. That's that's what really moves the world and it allows people to show up in their best way. So you know I didn't have any specific agenda other than have an incredible conversation with you, which I have. So you know I'd love for people to support the let's Go Win podcast, love for you to check out let's Go Win dot com. But other than that, brother, I just I enjoyed so much the questions. I think you bring insightful conversation and you really filled my bucket today. Oh, wow.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you for chatting I have been. You know, sometimes you wake up in the morning and you go. I don't know what my day's going to look like, I just know it's going to be good. I don't know who's going to fill my day, I just know it's going to be good. I mean, those are part of, like, my affirmations when I get up. And sometimes you know, right around, you know lunchtime or one o'clock I'm. You know I'm busy, got a podcast coming up. You know I can't get ready for it. I gotta get my energy, I gotta, you know, deliver. And then you know, god just takes over and he says no, you don't have to do anything, let me. You already planned it, you already put it together, just let it go.
Speaker 2:And today's been one of those days where I'm more filled now than I ever thought I could be when I woke up in the morning. So I just want to thank you for that and the part that you played in making that happen. And you know I think about now I want to go win. You know, whatever that means in my life, that you know not that I'm not winning now or I haven't won, but it just inspires me to do it.
Speaker 2:You know I just turned 60 back in March and I can't wait for the next 12, 15 years of my life. It's like I feel like it's just getting started on all things because of people like you and as we, you know, we start the universe becoming the person universe and having people like JM who will be able to come in and just speak to people and talk to people. I just think of all the people that can benefit from the lives that we continue to try to lead, and then our responsibility in making sure that we become the best that we can be so that we can make that impact, and so you have done that today in a big way. Do you have any final thoughts as we close this out today?
Speaker 1:You know, I just have to say the way you're looking at it, I think is amazing. I hope everybody heard that. I just have to say the way you're looking at it, I think is amazing. I hope everybody heard that. I've heard so many people put those limiting beliefs on age where it's like, well, I'm 40, now what? Now I'm 60. And what you said is I cannot wait for the next 15, 20 years. Like I have more wisdom today than I had 20 years ago, and I think that's that's such a beautiful growth mindset. It's like you are better today than I had 20 years ago, and I think that's that's such a beautiful growth mindset. It's like you are better today than you were yesterday. That is the beauty of age.
Speaker 1:And I hear people waste so much time and energy complaining about something that you cannot change. Unless someone knows of a time machine, which I do not, you cannot change. So why would you waste any energy talking about? Oh, I remember how great it was when I was 25. No, being 60 is beautiful, being 47 is beautiful. So was being 27. But you know what? The next stage of life, the next season. There's something amazing, if you can see it. And so you just inspired me by saying that man and I love that attitude Like gosh, I can't wait for the next 10, 15, 20 years, because I'm that much more wisdom, I have that much more wisdom, I'm seasoned, I've been able to experience life. You cannot pay for that. I just I love that outlook, brother, so thank you.
Speaker 2:Absolutely All right. So you guys just heard from JM. What an amazing podcast. Go back, listen to it once, twice, if this is the first podcast that you've listened to. As far as Living Boldly With Purpose, we have lots of them.
Speaker 2:There are folks like JM that we talk to every single day that we get to, and so I want you to hear that you're God's greatest gift. He loves you if you allow him to. I want you to have an amazing day. Listen, like I said, go back, listen to these again. Make sure that you're finding people in your life those 4As that we talked about, the people that in your life that can help you move the needle. Don't try to do this alone. I think we kind of fail ourselves when we think that we can go through this life by ourselves and do it all by ourselves. Go, hook up with some people, do some wonderful things, check out becomingthepersoncom and get into part of the universe, and we will talk to you on the next one. We have an amazing, awesome, awestruck day. I'll talk to you guys soon. Bye.