The Art of Being Unapologetically You with George S. Midla

What does it mean to be truly, unapologetically yourself? Our conversation begins with a Christmas card that raised eyebrows—featuring our guest flipping double middle fingers—and evolves into a profound exploration of authentic self-expression.

We dive deep into the creative process behind "From Love to War," a collection of short stories that blends autobiography with fiction. Unlike conventional writing approaches, these stories emerged from raw emotional terrain. "I spent a lot of time weeping over the freaking keyboard hammering out those stories," our guest reveals, offering a glimpse into the vulnerability required for meaningful creative work.

The heart of our discussion centers around relationships and how we connect with others. Love, according to our guest, serves as "the great equalizer"—a force that transcends circumstance and social standing. Whether you're in a luxury hotel or a humble dwelling, that moment of genuine connection exists outside time and space. This refreshing perspective cuts through commercial Valentine's Day narratives and speaks to something more fundamental about human connection.

Perhaps the most moving revelation comes when we discover parallel life philosophies. While our host lives by "leave a trail that everyone wants to follow," our guest writes, "I want to make a trail with words, a path no one has ever walked." This beautiful convergence highlights how we all seek to leave our unique mark on the world while creating something that resonates universally.

Join us for this honest, sometimes irreverent conversation about creativity, relationships, mortality, and the space between birth and death that one guest describes simply as "magic and mayhem." What trail are you leaving behind?

In this candid conversation, we explore authenticity in both creative expression and personal relationships, from unconventional Christmas cards to the emotional journey of writing deeply personal stories.

• Discussion of a controversial Christmas card featuring middle finger gestures that perfectly captured authentic self-expression
• Exploration of our guest's second book "From Love to War," a collection of short stories blending autobiography with fiction
• Deep dive into the emotional vulnerability required in creative writing, with our guest admitting to "weeping over the keyboard"
• Philosophical conversation about love as "the great equalizer" that transcends socioeconomic boundaries
• Discovery of parallel life philosophies: "leave a trail everyone wants to follow" and "make a trail with words"
• Thoughtful reflections on mortality, legacy, and how we want to be remembered
• Honest discussion about failure, resilience, and sharing life lessons with younger generations

The Rambling Gypsy podcast is a behind-the-scenes look at the lives of real Texans doing real sh*t. We're pulling back the curtains on our daily lives - and you're invited to laugh and learn along with us.

Links:
http://www.youtube.com/@TheRamblingGypsy
https://www.facebook.com/GypsyMammaTiff/
https://www.instagram.com/GypsyMammaTiff/
https://www.theramblinggypsypodcast.com/

Transcript

Christmas Card Controversy

Speaker 1 0:00

I put a blessing on it to real. That's the metaphoric. We just put the I in iconic, buzzing like I'm electronic. Ah yeah, I put a blessing on it. See me dripping in it 24-7 on it. I'm just being honest. Ah, holy water dripping, dripping from my neck to my crap song to you stepping on it live.

Speaker 2 0:14

Welcome back to the jungle. Welcome back to the jungle, welcome back to the podcast.

Speaker 3 0:21

Is it okay if I start?

Speaker 2 0:22

I know you're the host, absolutely Is, is it?

Speaker 3 0:25

okay if I start, I know you're the host, is it okay? No, 110%.

Speaker 2 0:27

I have two things.

Speaker 3 0:27

I wanted to talk about in the beginning, and the first one is this Last time we spoke about Not White Bread Exactly and we said it was kind of testosterone-laden.

Speaker 2 0:37

No, we said it was testosterone-y.

Speaker 3 0:38

Testosterone-y, and so I haven't seen you since then.

Speaker 2 0:43

Yeah.

Speaker 3 0:43

And a few weeks went past and someone posted a review on Amazon and the person's name is Samantha, so I'm assuming it's a woman and I don't know how many stars she gave me, but I'm sure it was really low. But I'd like to read you what she wrote.

Speaker 2 1:01

I would love for you to read me what she wrote, but I have to tell you there's something very ironic. So my first name, obviously you guys know, is Tiffany, and my grandmother told my mom, when she said she was pregnant, that she was going to have a granddaughter named Tiffany Renee, and my mom was adamant. She was like, absolutely not. My grandfather's name was Samuel and my mom wanted a grand— my name was supposed to be Samantha.

Speaker 1 1:28

Okay, so let's read what.

Speaker 2 1:30

I did not. Okay, I'd have no outside alibis.

Speaker 3 1:34

Well, this is. This is what Samantha wrote.

Speaker 2 1:36

All right, let's hear it.

Speaker 3 1:37

If you like boys to men stories, this one is for you. Each chapter is laden with testosterone and coming of age stories through the decades. It comes with fighting, father-son relationships, friendships, war, love and general life stories. And I just want to say to Samantha if she's out there, she hit a home run.

Speaker 3 2:02

She might not have liked it, but she definitely hit a home run on reviewing that book. And now the second thing, and I don't want to put you on the spot, but I got a Christmas card from you for Christmas and I mean kind of an odd way to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

Speaker 2 2:17

Well, you know what?

Speaker 3 2:19

And I don't mean to put you on the spot.

Speaker 2 2:21

No, I'm glad that you did, I'm glad that you are.

Speaker 3 2:24

I was a little shocked okay, because I thought it was. I thought you were mad at me, and then I, and then I, clearly once again we're still new in our relationship. I paused I paused and then I said no, that's everyone got this.

Speaker 2 2:37

Yeah, yeah, so please go ahead um, ironically, I was really um, so when we did that photo shoot it was just kind of I've been doing the photo shoots or whatever for a very long time, Um, and it's taken me a long minute to just kind of get back into my free spirit groove, um, and which has kind of been happening in the last couple of years. Um, but in that particular and it takes for someone to feel comfortable in a photo shoot and yes, this is just my personal opinion, but it's all about the photographer and how comfortable I mean there's some that can just make you feel like, oh, this is just never going to work and you feel like you're a stiff robot and it's just not going to happen. And I have two that I really like to work with that are we have a blast, it is fun, nick's there, we laugh, we cut up, it's just a good old time. And this one is one particular one and I'll just run around and I'm just doing whatever.

Speaker 2 3:53

Well, that was that, actually that picture that was there, and we were going through the photos and, um, that one came across and I had showed it to the kids and one that has been with me for a very long time not one of my own biological children, but one that grew up with my kids. And he said that photo is 100% everything about you in one picture. Like that is all of you in one picture. And I said, you know, I kind of think it's Christmas card worthy. He said 110%. And of course we always have this long, ongoing joke about making it to the Christmas card list.

Speaker 3 4:32

Should you tell your audience what was on the card, and then maybe they would understand why I'm asking.

Speaker 2 4:39

So before I do that, we sent out over 500 Christmas cards. The majority of the ones that I sent them to were people that I know, businesses that I know. There were maybe a couple of new groups that are around, and about that I thought, well, let's just kind of maybe test the waters and just see. And we discussed it a little bit. We were thinking, well, I mean, if they're not watching the podcast or if they don't know me, then yeah, then they may be offended by the card If they know everything about me and they know that I say what I'm going to say. I feel what I'm going to feel. I am a very emotional person. I joke a lot when it comes to that kind of stuff and I was waiting for someone to come back and say that is really not the appropriate way to celebrate Jesus.

Speaker 3 5:43

But if you notice, I did not say that. I did not say that. I did not say that. I just said that was kind of you know it was. You know I've gotten Christmas cards over the year, but nothing like that. I mean that was out of the box, that was out of the off the planet. And I just kind of was like really, she really doesn't like me that much. And I was like no, she really doesn't like me that much. And I was like no, that's probably just how she is. But I, you know, I mean I don't think I never thought inappropriate. I mean that was the furthest thing from my mind. I just thought it was odd and I was just wondering where it came from. So, and it came from your personality, not so much about the Christmas holiday itself.

Speaker 2 6:21

No, it didn't. It really no, it didn't. It was. It was literally stimulated from the concept of how we always say, well, you may make it to the Christmas card list, or how that person just really pissed me off and you're not you're not on the Christmas card list.

Speaker 3 6:40

I got it.

Speaker 2 6:41

Do you want to know how many times I've actually?

Speaker 3 6:42

nailed out.

Speaker 2 6:42

Christmas cards.

Speaker 3 6:44

I don't know how many.

Speaker 2 6:45

Never.

Speaker 3 6:45

So this was the first year First, and I got one.

Speaker 2 6:48

You did.

Speaker 3 6:48

So I should frame it.

Speaker 2 6:50

I mean, that would make me happy I should frame it, hang it in my office On my holiday card list it did not say anywhere on there Merry Christmas. Anywhere on there Merry Christmas, it said wishing you guys happy holidays or something to that effect. I'll have to go back and look. I mean, that was a long minute ago.

Speaker 3 7:12

I think it said on there. It said something about the birth of Jesus and how lucky we are yeah, lord, hear my prayer.

Speaker 2 7:19

No, absolutely, take it. You're not a religious gal. Well, I mean, religion is a very touchy subject and, yes, I am to a certain extent.

Speaker 1 7:32

That's all right.

Speaker 2 7:33

But obviously you can see that my religion comes with sass.

Speaker 3 7:36

How do you think you got here?

Speaker 2 7:39

Didn't we already talk about this? No, we didn't.

Speaker 3 7:40

But we don't have to. We don't have to, but go ahead so by name.

Speaker 2 7:47

Are you going to tell everybody what was on the card? So on the Christmas card list, um, and on the card that was sent out, it is a picture of me sitting on a red velvet. Uh, vintage, old, vintage antique sofa but it's in black and white. It is, and yes, and I am in a. Did I have my velvet jacket on? Or I mean my furry jacket on, or is I just have my white shirt on? I don't know. Anyways, I am shooting the bird, both birds up in the air, and yeah, so.

Speaker 3 8:18

I opened up the envelope and got slapped in the face with that. Next time, if I ever see you again and I know I'm going to gonna see you I'll bring it and have you autograph it for me. I would appreciate that well, look at.

Speaker 2 8:31

Okay. Well, look at that. It's not very often that I am speechless, but that is all right no, no that's very sweet and then I'll frame it. Okay, but yeah, it was fun. I got I cannot tell you how many times during the day because we sent them off in sections. You got one in an envelope. That was a big number, Mm-hmm. So there was envelopes and then there was just postcards. Okay, so you got the envelope.

Speaker 3 9:09

Well, thank you for the envelope.

Speaker 2 9:11

Yeah.

Speaker 3 9:12

I appreciate it and I appreciate the Christmas card too. It was unexpected, I was out of town. I was out of town, I got back after Christmas and then you know and got to it.

Speaker 2 9:21

So it was fine. I tell you when, when they did start hitting everybody's addresses or when people did get to get a hold of them from our friends in Nashville to our friends all over Texas, to some people that I haven't seen and talked to in a minute was just like this is the best thing we have ever freaking seen. This is so you. We are glad you're back and welcome.

Speaker 1 9:47

Thank you for thinking of me, my pleasure, my pleasure.

Speaker 2 9:50

Flattering. Thank you for accepting it and understanding that it had nothing to do with.

Speaker 3 9:57

I just initially it's okay. Just initially I was like really.

Speaker 2 10:01

And that was the conversation. I thought, man, this is either going to go over very, very well or this is going to completely bite me in the ass and people are going to say that's okay. I mean, I thought about it.

Speaker 1 10:11

It took a couple minutes and I was like no, no, that's just the way she is, yeah.

Speaker 3 10:16

So okay, but anyway thank you again and I appreciate you thinking I'll bring it and you can autograph it for me I would be honored.

Speaker 2 10:24

Thank you very much. I would be honored, that's very sweet, okay, so where? Are we going? So we talked about you're an author of three books amongst a bajillion different other things, but we talked about your first book on the last episode, and today we want to talk about your second book, and you'll see it right here on the last episode. And today we want to talk about your second book, and you'll see it right here on the front. I have the hard copy, yeah, but this is From Love to War.

Speaker 1 10:54

Yeah.

Speaker 2 10:54

So let's talk about the inspiration here.

Speaker 3 11:02

You know I'll be honest with you. First of all. I'm going to start with this. When I wrote this book, I mean it was really emotional for me, like really really emotional, and a lot of those stories in there just, I think, were in me for a long period of time and took kind of a while to break them loose. So, and I'm not the kind of guy that cries man but I tell you I spent a lot of time weeping over the freaking keyboard hammering out those stories.

Valentine's Day Reflections

Speaker 3 11:33

But I mean, in retrospect, if you look at authors, if you look at books, a lot of people write about love and war right, it's not uncommon, and I just had stories and the first part is about relationships, the second part I just kind of a hodgepodge. I put a lot of different stories in there that really didn't fit in either category, but I thought it would be a nice kind of break and um. And then the last bit is, you know, the war piece. And, uh, the first book since is I use an alias, kevin dugan, and in the front piece of that book I mentioned, if you see kevin dugan, that's me and I I use my name, I use that name, that alias, and a lot of the stories in that book because they personally happened to me and the dedication is into the front of some individual that died in the war.

Speaker 2 12:34

Yeah, and what else.

Speaker 3 12:40

And the front part, the love part, is not flowers and chocolate. I think it's more realistic on relationships if you go through them.

Speaker 2 12:50

Right.

Speaker 3 12:52

And I don't know. Woody, do you have questions?

Speaker 2 12:55

Love is really not really chocolates and flowers, which it's kind of ironic because there's a particular holiday that is rolling around the corner. Ah, that's right and we'll come back. I mean, which is a good time to kind of spin off to that. Are you a love and chocolates? I mean, are you a chocolate in? Do you do that on the love holiday of the February 14th?

Speaker 3 13:30

We always make it, we always make a big deal about Valentine's day.

Speaker 2 13:34

You do.

Speaker 3 13:34

Yeah, but uh, my um, my bride, says she'd rather get scratchies than flowers.

Speaker 2 13:40

See, I love her. She'd rather get scratchy.

Speaker 3 13:43

She'd rather get scratchies than flowers. So yeah, so she gets scratchies, so what? But normally we plan something, do you? And actually I was supposed to be in Spain for Valentine's.

Speaker 2 13:56

Day. Okay, now you're just an overachiever. That's ridiculous.

Speaker 3 13:58

Yeah, but we had to cancel a trip.

Speaker 2 13:59

Most people just try to get like go to dinner or something. We had the trip You're asking me in Spain.

Speaker 3 14:04

The trip got canceled because something came up. So we're going to head down, we'll be down at the beach, you'll be down on the island for the holiday. But we had something planned but it had to get canceled. I mean, everything was booked, but she wasn't upset at all. She's like it's no problem, we'll just do something different later on.

Speaker 2 14:21

So I am not a Valentine's.

Speaker 3 14:24

Day. You don't believe in Valentine's Day.

Speaker 2 14:25

I don't.

Speaker 3 14:27

Not a romantic.

Speaker 2 14:29

No, that's absolutely not true. I am very much a romantic.

Speaker 3 14:33

So why not recognize that holiday?

Speaker 2 14:35

Because, in my opinion, your relationship should always be Valentine's Day. I don't think that there needs to be one particular day that you I understand that, but it's just, you know it's, I don't know it's.

Speaker 3 14:51

I think it's a time to kind of go over the top.

Speaker 2 14:54

I think that's your anniversary.

Speaker 3 14:56

To each his own. To each his own.

Speaker 2 14:57

Yeah.

Speaker 3 14:58

Well, that too, you can do that too, but I think it's a time to kind of and I don't mean booking a reservation at a restaurant that's overcrowded and it's so busy.

Speaker 2 15:08

Overcrowded overpriced.

Speaker 3 15:10

Well, it doesn't matter, they're just shoveling food out and it's the masses. I mean. You don't get that individual service, there's not as much time spent on the food because they're just trying to deal with the volume, and so I don't think that's the right way to go. I think it should be more intimate and romantic and you can do that anyway. There's a quote in the front of that book.

Speaker 2 15:32

I'm going to talk to you about that in just a minute.

Speaker 3 15:33

That first quote. But, that first quote Because, since you've talked about Valentine's Day, to me that sums up everything in relationships and love. Did you tab that, the first quote?

Speaker 2 15:48

No, the second one.

Speaker 3 15:51

That's right before love. You can talk about that but we are going to. I can just tell you right now Tell me, it doesn't matter if you're rich or poor or live in a mansion or a tent, love is the same. It's a great equalizer.

Speaker 2 16:08

That's before the love and war portion. Yeah, it's a great equalizer.

Speaker 3 16:11

So it doesn't matter, I don't care if you're a billionaire wherever or you're living in a mud hut, I don't know in wherever, in Texas, I mean at that moment, at lost and found Hang on, I don't know In wherever, in Texas.

Speaker 2 16:27

You know I mean at that moment, At lost and found. Hang on, it doesn't matter If you're in love, if you're in love, that's a new Braunfels.

Speaker 1 16:33

Hang on, hang on, hang on. That's an inside new Braunfels journal.

Speaker 2 16:36

It's to have a mud hut across from your house.

Speaker 3 16:40

Well, I know, yeah, but if you're in love.

Speaker 2 16:41

Now, Piggy lives in it.

Speaker 3 16:42

If you're in love and also, too, at the moment of you know if you're intimate with someone. No-transcript. I think that when you're making love can we talk about. Sex always sells anyway, but if you're making love and if you're into that moment, if two people into that moment, I don't know, I'll speak for myself. I don't know where I'm at. I could be in a $50,000 bed in a million dollar a night hotel, or I could be in a mud hut in New Braunfels. At that moment I have no idea where I could be in a mud hut in New Braunfels. At that moment, I have no idea where I'm at in space and time, and I think that goes with love too. I think if you're, I mean it is the great equalizer.

Speaker 3 17:27

I think, and I think that's why everybody searches for it and wants it, and it's so important, more important than anything.

Speaker 2 17:34

In your opinion. How do you know when you found it?

Speaker 3 17:37

Wow, how do I know? How do I know when I found love. That's a tough definition. I knew how I found it.

Speaker 2 17:47

From love to war.

Speaker 3 17:49

I felt I was in love. I mean, you ever hear that adage head over heels? I actually felt like my heels were going over my head, yeah.

Speaker 2 18:00

So you really didn't know where you were.

Speaker 3 18:03

No, I mean I was in love. I was in love tremendously with my wife now my wife and with a woman and I just knew it was right. So I mean I was just felt like that. I bought. Can I talk about this?

Speaker 2 18:17

It's real personal A hundred and ten percent.

Speaker 3 18:19

I don't think I've told anybody this. I bought, you know, my engagement ring, wedding ring. You know, engagement ring, and I remember like I had it hidden in a closet and I was doing my clinicals out in San Diego and I would go in that closet and I'd pull that ring out and I'd look at it and put it back, you know, and I had it in my pocket you know, I felt like I was burning a hole in it.

Speaker 3 18:38

Can I tell you about when I proposed, Please? This is really personal, but you know, I, I tried, I, I, I, I flew back from San Diego. My wife was here in San Antonio.

Speaker 2 18:47

San.

Speaker 3 18:48

Antonio and I flew in to see her and I had, and this thing was burning a hole in my pocket. And I got to her apartment and I got on one knee and proposed to her and she laughed at me, she laughed at me.

Speaker 2 19:02

How long did you have the ring before you proposed? She laughed at me. She laughed at me.

Speaker 3 19:05

She took it, but she laughed at me and I said, fine, go in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, because I just got off the plane, and with lettuce and tomato and a little salt and pepper, anyway, so she laughed at me.

Speaker 3 19:17

She laughed at me, and then later on I don't know if I should and then later on she sent me an email and she was more serious. So I printed that email out and framed it, because it sounds like I proposed over the internet, which of course wasn't true at all. But yeah, so, yes, so that's the story, right there.

Speaker 2 19:36

And you guys have been together 25 years. So beautiful.

Speaker 3 19:43

So if anybody could, Married for the right reason and again to get back to it.

Speaker 2 19:47

What is that reason?

Speaker 3 19:48

What Love is the great equalizer.

Speaker 2 19:51

It is.

Speaker 3 19:52

It is. It's a great equalizer. It makes everything equal and it's worth going after. And the stories in that book, again, are not flowers and chocolate and they're not anything. What.

Speaker 2 20:03

I just said but neither is a relationship.

Speaker 3 20:07

No, sometimes it is, though.

Speaker 2 20:09

What makes it sometimes more than not.

Speaker 3 20:13

Chemistry, yes, and people get along Trust, understanding.

Speaker 1 20:17

It's huge.

Speaker 3 20:18

Trust understanding.

Speaker 2 20:20

Have you guys always been able to talk?

Speaker 3 20:25

I don't want to. You know this is. You sound like Dr Phil. I don't want to talk about my relationship. Look, I don't want to talk about my relationship at all.

Speaker 2 20:32

I love Mr Phil.

Speaker 3 20:32

You're going to get me. You're going to paint me in a corner and get me in a lot of trouble.

Speaker 2 20:36

man, I'm absolutely not.

Speaker 3 20:38

I need help.

Speaker 2 20:39

Jumbo I need help in my relationship.

Speaker 3 20:41

I'll talk to you offline, but not in front of the masses. I would do anything for you, but I would not.

Speaker 2 20:56

No, not in front of the masses. Do you get married for the right reason?

Speaker 3 20:58

See how I answered your question. With a it Did you get married for the right reason.

Speaker 2 21:00

See, I answered your question with a question Did you get married for the right reason? I thought.

Speaker 3 21:02

I did Okay.

Speaker 2 21:05

I'm not a quitter and that's the issue that I have. Can I say something Please?

Speaker 3 21:10

Not to interrupt, but I can say something, please. You don't seem like the person that likes to fail at things. No, you don't seem like the person that likes to fail at things.

Speaker 2 21:20

No, and having a failed marriage probably doesn't sit well with you at all. It really doesn't um at all did that sting.

Speaker 2 21:24

I didn't want it to stink no I was just trying to be honest no, and I'm glad you are, because you don't seem like that person that likes to fail I do not like to fail, and I and I've said this before with different individuals that I've talked to on the show is that I um, I can promise you when I I go up the ladder and when I fall off the ladder, I'll get back up, dust myself off and I'll go back up it, but I will never fall down that ladder for the same reason do you think marriage is the worst thing you could fail at?

Speaker 3 21:57

Oh no, what's the worst thing you could fail?

Speaker 2 21:58

at what's the worst thing you could fail at. You can fail at anything and everything.

Speaker 3 22:04

Business.

Speaker 2 22:05

What.

Speaker 3 22:06

What Investments?

Speaker 2 22:08

You can fail at anything.

Speaker 3 22:09

Yeah, but what's the worst thing you could fail at? Love? What's the worst thing you could fail at the subject is love worst thing, you'd fail at the subject is love? Is love the worst thing?

Speaker 1 22:21

you could fail at. Not in my opinion okay, no problem.

Speaker 3 22:23

What is the worst thing you could fail at?

Speaker 2 22:27

let me try to narrow that down in a short statement. You're the host it's your.

Speaker 3 22:32

You don't have to answer that question.

Speaker 1 22:34

No, plus, it's a free country.

Speaker 3 22:35

You don't have to answer that.

Speaker 2 22:38

I have said several times that, if I was to die tomorrow, that I feel like I have shared my lessons, my fuck-ups, my failures, my stupid choices with kids younger than me. Anybody that, anybody, and everybody that I can say, if you ever learn anything from me, if you ever listen to anything that I say, please just listen to this one thing. And because I wish somebody would have taken me when I was in your position and said you know what, tiffany, listen to me. I've been there, I've done that. This is something that will don't follow in my own footsteps and I feel like, um, I would be okay with that, like I would be okay passing away tomorrow. So, to answer your question, what is the worst thing that you could fail at? In my opinion, it is to not teach and not share your experiences. I thought you were going to say war?

Speaker 3 23:53

I'm completely joking. Just don't fucking miss when you're aiming bro. I thought you were going to say war. I'm completely joking, but I'm just a little levity. Just don't fucking miss when you're aiming bro.

Speaker 1 23:59

Hey hey, hey, just let him win, god damn.

Speaker 2 24:02

Sometimes hey, come on, it was just a little levity. If that target's moving, hey, hey, it was just a little levity it was a little levity, it was a little levity. Look, now, that's all I think we need it. No, seriously, Just in a little bit I do.

Speaker 3 24:17

When you said that I told God when I was 30 years old. I said well, I've lived like five lifetimes and I go. If you want to take me now, it's okay.

Speaker 2 24:32

And I had that conversation with God at 30. I'm not ready and he let me stick around that much longer.

Speaker 3 24:35

I have so much more to do, but at 30, I was ready to box. I was like damn, this has been like awesome and thank you so much. And if you want to take me now, it's okay, I understand, because frigging you're really been like just like shoveling it at me, but okay.

Speaker 2 24:48

No, I have a lot of things I still want to do. I have a lot of experiences. I have my first grandbaby and she is the light of my life and I have so much. I have so much to still live and learn and do Everybody does.

Speaker 3 25:00

And speaking of this book here, I addressed suicide in it and there's three stories in there and one is a-.

Speaker 2 25:09

So I want to touch base real quick before you get to that So-.

Speaker 3 25:12

Because there is a lot of life out there.

Speaker 2 25:13

Well, yes, there is yes. So in the first book that you have that was the white bread, not white bread, right, and so that one is considered a what. I don't know why I asked you the question. Is that considered it's?

Speaker 3 25:33

a memoir. It's a memoir, okay, stories about my life.

Speaker 2 25:36

Right, and so in this one explain the difference between that, for people that don't know, and this new book. This is the second book, this is it's a booyah base I'm some of.

Speaker 3 25:45

It is about. This is a short story collection, some of it is about me, some is directly about me, without a doubt, and then some of it is kind of a mix and um. At the end of that book and my um editor said that's good, you did that because at the end I kind of talk about some of the stories and where they came from, okay and um, some of them is this is why this came out, and then some are totally fiction so from love to war is several short stories.

Speaker 2 26:11

That's why it's called a short story collection well, more than seven, but got it I think there's like.

Speaker 3 26:17

It's gotta be 20 at least in there.

Speaker 2 26:19

In here.

Speaker 3 26:20

Yeah, it gotta be at least Nice. I can count if you want right now, no, that'd be boring Anyway. So yeah, so you have something tagged there, and I'll be honest with you. Since I walked in, I saw those little slips of paper sticking out and it is eating at me that what you decided to think that was like this discussion worthy.

Speaker 1 26:40

Well.

Speaker 3 26:41

And it's the love part, and of course it is.

Speaker 2 26:44

You know, valentine's Day is coming up, so what do you have, which we both have different opinions on that? No, it's okay, it's just totally fine. No, it's okay, no.

Speaker 3 26:53

You know, everybody has their own opinion. I just got an email recently about one of the stories in the book and someone described to me how it related to their life and I was very flattered about that, that I actually touched somebody through one of my stories. And they sent a note and said hey, you know, I read your book. And then this happened to me and I thought about that one story and go yeah, so when people like samantha and it was in the love portion or in the people that responding.

Speaker 2 27:23

How do they respond to you? I mean, is that, how is it? She obviously responded on the amazon, yeah it was a review.

Speaker 3 27:30

Right, got me a poor review, but I mean, god bless her. She hit a home run, she knew exactly what she was talking about yeah because that's what it was.

Speaker 2 27:38

So how the person that you were just talking about on this part, they emailed you, or?

Speaker 3 27:44

My email's in the front of the book, if you have any issues or whatever you actually.

Speaker 2 27:50

a lot of people don't think that you actually read the reviews or that any author actually reads the reviews, and you know, good, bad, indifferent, everybody's entitled to their opinion.

Speaker 3 27:59

And you know, yes, of course I read everything without a doubt.

Speaker 2 28:02

I like that. Yeah, I think that's important that they know that. Well, okay, that you do pay attention, I do.

Speaker 3 28:06

I do and I hear their voice, samantha.

Speaker 2 28:09

There you go.

Speaker 3 28:17

You hated my first book but you understood it right. You know, and I you know, in that first book I try to. I try to direct that more towards men because men are a minority as far as readers go and, um, I thought that book might touch more men than women you know, maybe get them to read a little bit.

Speaker 3 28:28

They, you know, they, they won't feel such like you know. You know, and the and the and the cover is very aggressive, let's face it. It's red, you know, and there's things on it, but so and she should have understood that when she saw the cover. That was like ooh you know, but yeah so, and this was, I think, different, I think this was softer. I think there's something in there for everybody personally Right right, but okay.

Speaker 2 28:58

So you have in here. It says I want to make a trail with words, a path no one has ever walked.

Speaker 3 29:06

And your question.

Speaker 2 29:09

Explain that. And then I'll tell you why this hits home with me.

Speaker 3 29:22

My writing is my writing and I don't try to mimic anyone and I don't know it's personal. There are and I don't mean to lambaste, like you know, other writers. Some people follow a certain script to sell books.

Speaker 1 29:40

Right.

Speaker 3 29:40

And I'm not that way. That's it, so you know.

Speaker 2 29:48

So I.

Speaker 3 29:49

Like me or hate me, you know.

Speaker 2 29:52

Hence my card that you received in the mail. Yeah, so yeah, I started my little gypsy thing a very, very long time ago.

Speaker 3 30:07

You look kind of gypsy tonight, by the way.

Speaker 2 30:09

Thank, you Did, you do that on purpose. No, we had a really long day and we had to rush and ran home and just kind of, but no.

Speaker 3 30:17

You look kind of gypsy tonight, thank you.

Speaker 2 30:18

Thank you very much.

Speaker 3 30:21

I'm glad you thought that was flattering and not.

Making Trails with Words

Speaker 2 30:24

It was meant to be yeah, it's, it's, it's the gypsy way. I mean, it is that's, that's my deal. But that's kind of how it all started. I had a would go on the weekends and would put up my tent and go and sell and bounce from place to place to place and rodeo to rodeo, rodeo, and every one of my little businesses and whatever had gypsy in it and gypsy this and gypsy that, and I ran around in a murder home all over the country and did that for a very long time.

Speaker 2 30:54

But anyways, I would always get asked and still do um, who are you? And it's which is just shocks the shit out of me, because I'm just some little girl from new Braunfels, texas, and um, it would be, uh, just shocking to me that somebody would want to ask me like, who am I, or why am I doing this or whatever. So I had a slogan, that or whatever you want to call this, a statement, so to speak. Quote A quote. And mine is leave a trail that every girl wants to follow. Run away with me, okay, and it's very similar and you connect it to that quote Right on.

Speaker 2 31:53

Which is really kind of wild because they're very. Yours says I want to make a trail with words. Mine says leave a trail that every girl wants to follow.

Speaker 3 32:05

I don't make I'm not gender specific that everyone wants to follow. I'm not gender specific.

Speaker 2 32:09

Well, on my bus mine said you can't, nowadays you can't be gender, nothing for fuck's sake.

Speaker 3 32:14

No, that's, that's over. Yeah, thank God, I understand that Right, that ship sailed.

Speaker 2 32:19

Yeah, so that's mine is leave a trail that everyone must follow, Run away with me.

Speaker 3 32:25

Well, that's the whole idea with writing.

Speaker 2 32:27

And again I got a note recently I don't write, I can hardly even fucking spell, whatever Anyway, and that's the same thing.

Speaker 3 32:35

I got a note recently about one of the stories in that book where someone connected to it and wrote something back to me. And you connected to a piece right in the in the front, the first page, and and I'm glad you know and you know and, yeah, and I know you somewhat and we have that connection now but I'm, I'm hoping there's, you know, somebody in wherever you know and in uh, norwesville, you know, whatever state and uh maybe opens the book and reads a short story or reads a piece of my work and somehow connects to it, just like an artist. I mean, if you paint a picture and connect and someone connects to that, uh and um and feel something.

Speaker 2 33:15

So I mean, thank you so much for telling me that too well, I think what's kind of ironic in um our conversation, when you asked me what would be the one thing that you could fail at, I feel like you want to make a trail with words. I want to leave a trail that everyone can follow, and if I didn't leave my trail then I would have failed.

Speaker 3 33:43

Okay, the only thing I want, you want to hear, the only thing I want, I think, when I die and this is how much I respect your sex if there's one woman that sheds one tear when I box, then my life was worth it.

Speaker 2 34:02

Well, I've shedded it during our show. So, yeah, you uh don't go anywhere. That's it, it's not time. That's it, it's not time.

Speaker 3 34:13

That's it, that's all I'm, that's all I, and I think my life would be worth it.

Speaker 2 34:18

One woman, one tear I like that one woman Heartfelt emotions Digging from way down deep, that's beautiful. So here's my second one. You ready.

Speaker 3 34:32

Like I said, that tore my guts out of me to write in that book, but go ahead.

Speaker 2 34:40

I love that, that you're so open and you were able to put all of this out there for everyone and to share. And how long did it take to put all this, all these stories, into this book?

Speaker 3 34:55

I didn't time it. I wasn't on a clock, I was in the groove. First book came out and I just was like let's kick the second one out. Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 2 35:10

So this quote says we will all die. Yeah, that is how it ends, yep. We are all born and that is how it begins, yep. The rest is magic and mayhem.

Speaker 3 35:23

It's definitely in your life 110%. Got it down in everybody's life, hopefully. So some people live a little more passive than others, but yeah, hopefully this takes me back to a conversation that you and I had, which hopefully it's more magic than mayhem.

Speaker 2 35:42

You can always hope in one hand and shit the other, but yeah, I'm always shooting for the hope you know what you never?

Speaker 3 35:51

you never know what? Hey, you never know what to expect when you're in your?

Speaker 2 35:55

no, when you're in the, he she shed yeah, oh my god, I never thought that's it. We're burning her to the ground. Fuck, we did. We're probably going to just keep doing it, yeah. So we do that, okay, so this Cut to the chase we will all die, and that is how it ends.

Speaker 3 36:20

Yeah.

Speaker 2 36:20

We are all born.

Speaker 3 36:21

Yeah, and that is how it begins.

Speaker 1 36:23

Yeah, true, right.

Speaker 3 36:24

It is True that which?

Speaker 1 36:25

takes me back to a conversation that you and I had about you saying.

Speaker 3 36:32

What.

Speaker 2 36:34

When I am buried. I want to be buried naked.

Speaker 3 36:38

Yeah.

Speaker 2 36:39

He does, he wants to be buried.

Speaker 3 36:41

Oh, you picked that out of the book, didn't you?

Life, Death, and What Happens Between

Speaker 2 36:43

No, you picked that out of the book, didn't you? When I was reading this. Oh, go ahead. No, first I read all into this part.

Speaker 3 36:49

Can I talk? There's a piece in there about my death. You just didn't find it. But go ahead and then I'll read it to you. I'll take the book out of your hands and I will read it.

Speaker 2 37:06

So, okay, perfect. Yeah, go ahead. Did I ruin the moment? No, no, you didn't. I mean no, I'm not going to let you.

Speaker 3 37:13

No, You're the boss, applesauce, so the rest is magic and mayhem.

Speaker 1 37:17

Yeah.

Speaker 2 37:18

So we got here, we end. So the rest is magic and mayhem, it's your dash.

Speaker 3 37:23

Whatever you make of it, whatever you make of it, hopefully it is and you know, and it's that subjective too. But yeah, I mean life is great. I mean this planet is great, I mean everything is. I mean, if you take a moment and think about creation, you know, and why we're here and how we got here. If you take that moment and think about the world, you know. I mean all the different fishes and animals and plants and in different, different, you know, continents and, excuse me, latitudes, longitudes, and you put that all together and it's just a beautiful place isn't it, it's a beautiful place and it's what you make of it.

Speaker 3 38:06

You know what you do with it and the people you know. You, like I said, you're really. You cherish your relationships with people and how you treat them and such and and you know it's just. I mean this is. I mean I hope everybody takes a moment in their life, whenever that is, I don't care if they're five or 50 or 100 years old and take a moment and just kind of think about how they got here. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 38:38

Right.

Speaker 3 38:38

About life, about creation, about the world.

Speaker 2 38:42

We're 300 years old, right 500. What did you say? Years old, right 500.

Speaker 1 38:45

What did you say? Your target age was my target.

Speaker 3 38:48

No, I said well, we should live to be yes, so we could see the fruits of our labor and what we've done or haven't done, you know.

Speaker 2 38:56

Yeah.

Speaker 3 38:56

And reflect on it, maybe fix it or not fix it. Some people can't be fixed. No, Anyway can I read you something out of this book, since you?

Speaker 2 39:04

brought it out 110% and.

Speaker 3 39:05

I could find it fairly quickly. I can't, and I want to tell you afternoon, la Floridita, look, you're just there. What am I looking up? Now I know what I'm looking up. I'm looking up something with a coffin in it. There it is right. There you talk about my death before. As Kevin Dugan grew older, he occasionally thought about his own death and burial. He wondered about the place where he would become part of the earth. Kevin considered being buried in a cardboard box with no embalming. He would decompose quickly and in some way become helpful again, like an expensive fertilizer food for the subterranean world, utilitarian, not just taking up underground space in an impenetrable body vault. A road could be paved over his remains. Trucks and cars driving by would make sounds and vibrations with their steel-belted tires on the asphalt. The thought excited him more than grass and squirrels. Anyway, there's my death.

Speaker 2 40:19

So the thought had excited him more than grass and squirrels. Yeah, put me in the ground.

Speaker 3 40:23

cardboard box no one ball me. Pave a road over me. So the thought had excited him more than grass and squirrels. Yeah, put me in the ground. Cardboard box, no embalming. Pave a road over me. I'm good, you'd like that too. Cars going over vroom, vroom, big tractor, trailer, vibrations, noise. Wake you up a little bit, yeah, yeah. Fiddling grass and squirrels. Wake you up a little bit. Yeah yeah, fiddling grass and squirrels.

Speaker 2 40:47

I can relate to that. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 40:54

That's Anyway. So there you go. And yeah, and I think I told you last time I want to be buried naked, but I came into the world nude. Yeah, I want to be you know, god can have me back that way, you know.

Speaker 2 41:05

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 41:05

He doesn't, I don't need to be dressed.

Speaker 2 41:09

No, I kind of agree.