Be the Best You Can Be: Self Worth, Growth Identity & Friendships | Gloria (S1:E7)

In this episode of To All The Girls Out There, I’m joined by Gloria, and this conversation is such a soft but honest one that I think a lot of girls will see themselves in.

We talk about the lessons learnt over the years since being in secondary school and sixth form to the current independent era of uni.

Gloria opens up about being more to herself, navigating friendships, and what it’s been like learning to stay grounded in who she is, even when she’s felt different or out of place at times.

We also talk about:

•  Being selective with friendships and outgrowing people
• Navigating the jump from Sixth form to Uni
•  Struggling to open up and express your emotions
•  The pressure to be “strong” all the time
•  Staying true to yourself without shrinking

🩷 If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a girl who needs it and leave a review — it helps the podcast reach more girls who need these conversations.

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Transcript

Fatima (00:00)

Hey beautifuls welcome back to another episode of To All The Girls Out There. Today is a very very very special one because I'm sitting down with a girl I actually look up to and deeply respect. She's someone that I've personally learned from not just through the things that she's done but the way that she carries herself, her energy, you know she's honestly just the it girl. When I see her she just puts a smile on my face like I feel so honored to say that I know her because I

just feel like there's not enough people like her in the world. So today's guest is Gloria.

Gloria (00:37)

Hi everyone, my name is Gloria. know, Fatima's almost trying to make me cry the first few minutes of the podcast. You know, thank you for all of the nice things that you said. Yeah, I can say the same for you as well. Like you've always been someone that I look up to throughout secondary, throughout sixth form. And like you said, like the way you carry yourself, the way you always like focused despite whatever's like going around you, that always like...

stuck with me and yeah I do try to be like that as well.

Fatima (01:11)

Thank you. No, honestly, I feel like we're almost the same in a way. Like we're very similar. Like when I look at you, I see elements of myself in you sometimes. I'm like, wow, she's just amazing. But yeah. How are you feeling? How are feeling? Are you like...

Gloria (01:17)

Yeah.

Thank you.

I'm feeling good, I'm feeling excited to be here. You know, I'm like so proud of everything that you've done and I'm just so happy to be here. You know, finally get to talk to you again, because it has been a bit of a while. Yeah.

Fatima (01:41)

Yeah, it's been a while. That's

because you don't I messaged you ages ago. Yeah. And I was like, then you responded to me. then because you didn't respond to me after, was like, maybe this is not Gloria. Maybe this person is just trolling. Like because I got the wrong number. And then I was like to honey, was like, I don't know if I have the right number for Gloria. And then when you messaged me, I was like, wait, it's the same number. So she just was like, fine.

Gloria (01:55)

yet.

Yeah,

I'm really bad with my reply times recently. That's something that I'm still working on. It's getting better, but yeah.

Fatima (02:14)

Yeah,

but it's okay, everyone's got their own thing going on and it's hard to like a conversation that could be like five minutes long is hard over like one week. Sometimes it's tiring. It's just like, okay, we get like, you know, so I get that. get that. But yeah, so you're in your first year of uni, Gloria, how are you finding this era of life?

Gloria (02:24)

Yeah.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

I feel like it's very different from anything I've ever experienced in my life. Like I can say that secondary and sixth form were more similar, but uni is just like completely different. I feel like more open to the world, like I'm knowing so many things that I didn't know before typically, meeting so many new people. And I feel like people act differently in uni and that can be in a good or a bad way.

and just figuring people out and making new friends again. Sometimes that can be kind of nerve wracking, but it's also nice to get yourself out there. And also balancing uni life, work life, personal life, balancing all of that. You might have an assignment due and then you have to go to work the next day and do a nine to five shift.

Fatima (03:35)

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Gloria (03:38)

And yeah, just finding that balance to be honest.

Fatima (03:41)

Yeah, I can imagine. It's like, I feel like uni is a limbo between school, like having that school where it's like you're not really in the real world and the real world. And it's like that mix and match because it's like you're still in education, but you're still working, but you're paying like adult fees for things now. You know, you still have like that element of, okay, I'm an adult, but I still am in education. I still am like, just taking a chill pill. I'm still a little girl at the end of the day, you

Gloria (03:51)

Mm.

Yeah.

Fatima (04:11)

Yeah, there's nothing eating yet.

Gloria (04:12)

Yeah, yeah, for

sure. Yeah, just like finding my way through things and, you know, trying to balance everything. Like sometimes it does get hard, but I feel like you have to embrace that and acknowledge that it is hard for you to be able to persevere and get through a situation.

Fatima (04:34)

Especially because like you said, feel like uni is different to school as well. There's a lot of independence that comes with it. A lot of things that you have to learn. And then on top of that, even though when you're in uni, you're still in a bubble, it's like coming to that age when you leave school, everyone is on a different path. Like, I don't know if you feel like this, but recently, I'll be speaking to my friends and I'm like...

Gloria (04:42)

Yeah.

Okay.

Fatima (04:59)

Everyone is doing different things right now. Some people have kids. Some people are at uni like whoa like does it have that has that hit you does that make you feel

Gloria (05:02)

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.

Because I have some friends where they're just working full time and they're just making money and they're just doing that route. Some other friends are at uni working or not working. Other friends are doing an apprenticeship and you hear they're making like over 25k a year. And it's like, wow, like a year ago we were all in sixth form and now everything's so different. And everyone's like ventured into their separate paths. Like, it's like really.

amazing. It's just like, wow, like everyone's actually grown up. Like guys, we're going to be the next adults, you know? Like teenage years, it's almost over because I'm 18 right now. So I don't have long left. And it's like, wow, we're like really, we're really about to be adults. So yeah. In May. Yeah, I'm quite young. Yeah, I'm trying to.

Fatima (05:45)

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Wait when do you turn 19? Oh enjoy it. No it's

fine like trust me it's gonna be okay. I turn 20 next month I don't even know how to feel like. Attorney's a serious number.

Gloria (06:13)

Yeah, it's serious but like you're still young but like you're getting older

Fatima (06:17)

Yeah, but when I was a little girl, I like I 20, it was like, where's your kids? Like, what's going on? you know, like, and now I'm turning 20, I'm like, guys, let's just, everybody, let's just slow down. But yeah, is that okay? Is that okay?

Gloria (06:24)

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, Like, yeah, like everything's just going so fast. Like it's already April. Like New Year's was yesterday, but it's already April, you know? Like time is just going to keep on going. So you just have to make the most of it. Yeah.

Fatima (06:47)

Mm-hmm.

Honestly,

yeah, it gets like that sometimes. But anyway, we're going to dive into a bit of what we speaking about like earlier on, because when I say things like in the intro, sometimes I feel like people just think I'm saying nice things, but like I generally have to sit down and I generally, these are the things that I think. And for me, I've always seen you as someone who's been grounded and to yourself, you know, like you still have friends, you still have people around you, but you was definitely like.

you know, you had your own calm aura energy to you. Do you feel like you've always been like that? look, guys, you can't see her face when she's music right now.

Gloria (07:37)

Yeah

because I don't know you thought all of this about me I feel so happy and flattered that you think that. Yeah.

Fatima (07:42)

That's why it's so important to compliment people. I realize like,

you never know like... Yeah, but...

Gloria (07:50)

Yeah, I'd definitely say that. There's a lot of things that have influenced me, especially being like a first daughter in an African household. Like that, I would say would have to be like one of the biggest because like you kind of have to grow up fast and mature fast anyway, because I have three younger siblings and they're all girls as well. Like I have to be there for my sisters if like my parents were at work or somewhere else. So I had to grow up. I had to be that responsible one.

from like a young age. Like I remember like 12 year old, my mum would send me like a shopping list, go to Uptopark and buy vegetables, buy fish, all of that. Like that was really development. I don't know, just stuff like that. And like different situations in life where it's like, right, like I actually need to mature and make a decision that's gonna be good for everyone or the majority. So yeah, stuff like that, I'd say.

Fatima (08:25)

You

Gloria (08:48)

that really influenced me and having three sisters are all girls like sometimes you just have to breathe and let it go you know sometimes it's just not even worth getting into an argument or something or like anything you just have to breathe and let it go you know I feel like there's just no point like there's no peace in that like why would you want to disrupt your own peace and I guess that flows into like

Fatima (08:58)

I can't use the remote.

Mm.

Gloria (09:18)

how I treat my other relationships with people like friends or just anyone outside my household. If it's not worth it, then I just want to find my farm, my peace and move on.

Fatima (09:33)

100%, 100%, I hear that. You know what was crazy? I didn't know we had so much in common, because I'm literally oldest. I'm the oldest daughter. I know, but I have two little sisters. But like, I didn't know we had that in common. was like...

Gloria (09:34)

Yeah.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Fatima (09:47)

Everything is just clicking to me now. It makes so much sense. ⁓ my gosh. And just the peace thing. And I feel like that's something that you can really tell in you, like making sure that like your peace, you know, sometimes that you can see it from the person, like when a person's inner world is just so calm, that's not to say that they don't have stress, they don't have things going on around them, but you can just tell like someone's peace is really important to them. And I think that...

Gloria (09:48)

Yeah, it makes sense. Wow.

Fatima (10:15)

That's what stood out for you as well. But speak more about that. did it come about and how do you navigate protecting your peace?

Gloria (10:19)

Yeah.

texting my piece I feel like if something doesn't bring me any joy I don't want to say benefit because that makes me sound kind of greedy and selfish but if it yeah like if it doesn't benefit me positively or it just doesn't bring any joy in my life then it just has to go and that's not to say like it has to go in a big argument everyone knows about it and screaming and shouting it's just like

Fatima (10:36)

No, it's not but it's true though.

Mm-hmm.

Gloria (10:56)

polite goodbye, you have to let it go to keep your peace. know, like, there's some friends where I don't, like in the past, like, secondary days, where like, if we don't get along, then there's no argument. We just like drift apart or like we just stop talking. And like, it's also okay to drift apart with people, you know, like they're not always going to be in your life. They might only serve a purpose in a certain chapter of your life.

Fatima (10:58)

Yeah. Yeah.

Gloria (11:27)

that's okay you know maybe they're not meant to be in your current chapter and that's okay you know yeah

Fatima (11:35)

100

% 100 % No, just for some facts because I literally relate to this so much and I was going to like we're gonna touch up more on that later especially about like friendships and stuff like that but 100 % some people are only meant to be in your life for a season and I think sometimes we forget that and a lot of the time as well I hear people say like

People only think people are supposed to be in your life for a season when something drastic happens. So for example, when people go through like a breakup or something like that, but there's some people, it doesn't even have to be a massive fallout or massive argument with your friend. Like you said, sometimes generally speaking, like you could end on good terms or you could have distance. Someone might have served a purpose in that particular era of your life. Like you needed them, but now you don't.

need them like or they don't need you like that purpose is already done. Do you get what I mean? It's already been done even though it might not have been an argument it might not have been like the end like a big commotion but if your purpose has been fulfilled there's there's no need for it to stay you know. I feel it's a hard thing to ⁓ swallow I guess but yeah would what

Gloria (12:29)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

Fatima (12:54)

Do you feel like, what kind of person do you feel like you was in secondary school in comparison to now?

Gloria (13:01)

I'd say in secondary school I did have my kind of shy aspects but... sociable is the word? No. I'd say maybe I was more... yeah. I was sociable. I'd say I was more outgoing. Not to say that I wasn't as outgoing later on in life like in sixth woman uni but like in secondary school I was literally head girl.

Fatima (13:07)

Mm.

Yeah.

Gloria (13:30)

I was speaking.

Fatima (13:30)

So,

Gloria (13:32)

Yeah, I was head girl in year 11. So like I had to speak in assemblies and like in my secondary school, there was like 300 plus kids in a year group. And if you're counting teachers, like that's a lot of people like speaking and speaking to big groups of people or even stuff alone. I've done that, you know, lots of trips speaking. And I feel like. Yeah, I feel like.

Fatima (13:54)

I wish you all the best and see you in the 11th.

Gloria (14:00)

in growing up in secondary school like towards the end like year 10, year 11, like I didn't really care what people thought about me like I don't know I don't know how to explain it like

I don't care if you thought I was weird or like, or like, just, don't, like, do you know what I'm trying to say? I felt free. Like I don't, like people's opinions, like negative opinions, they don't really impact me or affect me because it's like, I'm on the stage, what are you doing? You know, I'm on the stage, what are you doing? So yeah.

Fatima (14:19)

Yeah.

Yeah, you felt more free like...

Mmm.

Gloria (14:42)

I felt like I had that confidence and I also had lots of support from people around me during secondary school, from teachers and staff and students. And it was just like a really nice community. And like going on my sixth form, we did go to the same sixth form, but yeah, it was a smaller sixth form. It was very small. So the environment was like everyone knew each other. It was smaller and

⁓ yeah, I guess I was less outgoing. I wouldn't say outgoing. I just wasn't a girl anymore. And I wasn't really speaking to crowds of people. Yeah. But then in year 13, you know, me being me, I joined SLT, which is basically like, what is it? SLT. Scholar Leadership Team.

Fatima (15:23)

I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying.

Gloria (15:41)

yes, scholar leadership team. And I was like, head of year seven, because like there would be students that would be heads of years as well. And they were like the mediator between like actual heads of year and staff and like students. Like we were the middle people. And I was in that for year seven. So I was back again in a large fall speaking to lots of students, you know, and doing all of that again, speaking in assemblies or speaking to groups of students.

Fatima (16:03)

Mm-hmm.

Gloria (16:11)

Speaking to famous people that would come to the school as well, that was quite nice. Yeah.

Fatima (16:18)

What famous people did you speak to you?

Gloria (16:21)

I'm trying to remember. It was the head of... because I was in...

Fatima (16:29)

and you knew ⁓

Gloria (16:31)

yeah she came

to the school twice so I got to speak to her yeah I got to speak to her and just

Fatima (16:41)

I had been for I was in for cool ⁓ TV presenter I don't know if he came after that though ⁓

Gloria (16:44)

really?

Hmm.

Yeah, it was nice meeting Dame and Yonnie as well because she's like a nurse and what I study

is like science related. I study nutrition so it was like nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fatima (17:03)

Oh yeah, because you wanted to do that, I remember. You still wanna do that. Oh

my gosh, I love that for you. I love that. Yeah, that's so sick. You know, it's like when you hear someone speak about something that they wanna do and it's like, wow, you're actually pursuing it, like that's so sick. Like, you should definitely be proud of yourself for that.

Gloria (17:11)

Thank you. Yeah, I'm currently studying nutrition, you know, nearing the end of first year.

Yeah.

And I'm surprised myself that I've stuck with it like the whole time. But like throughout sixth form, some of my friends were wavering like, ⁓ I don't know if I want to do dentistry or medicine or like something outside of that. But for me, I just always knew it was going to be nutrition slash dietetics, from year nine, year 10 up until now. So it's been like a good few years.

Fatima (17:53)

That's it. I'm gonna be coming to you now cuz listen I'm literally all over the place with Hawaii. I'm so upset but like I eat like I snack I don't even eat food like I'll have one meal throughout the day maybe like twice a week. It's so bad. I shouldn't even say that but yeah 100 %

Gloria (18:00)

Thanks

Mm.

Don't worry, just give me some more time.

Fatima (18:18)

That is so sick, I love that. So you feel like towards the end of, towards sixth form, you'll say you're more like to yourself, but then you kind of found that outgoingness when you did ⁓ the SLT and head of year seven thing. Do you feel like it was the same as secondary school or was it a little bit like?

Gloria (18:18)

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I would say it's different, not necessarily in a bad way, but it was just a different environment. Like the group of people that I was working with, the group of students, it was also very nice. It also felt like a different family, like a more grown up family. That was nice how we all worked together and supported each other, even through like tough times and serious situations. We were still always there for each other. And yeah, it was really nice. It was really nice.

Fatima (19:11)

Yeah, I feel like those kind of things give you purpose. Like, that's why I feel when I came to secondary school, I mean, sorry, sixth form, it was just like.

Gloria (19:15)

Yeah.

Fatima (19:22)

I feel like was the same thing as you, kind of just not as sociable as I was in secondary school. Like, secondary school, was everywhere talking to everyone, you know, like, doing hopscotch, this friend group, then that speaking to that friend group, then da-da-da, do you know what I mean? And I think also, like, being head girl played a part and not caring, because it was more like, I own the school, no one can really talk to me. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm the boss, like.

Gloria (19:38)

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, Yeah.

Fatima (19:51)

but when you came to sixth form, it was a bit like, I don't know. First of I didn't want to be head girl in sixth form, but because I felt like I didn't care about the sixth form enough. My mindset was kind of like, I just want to get my education and go. And like you said, it was really small. So everything was just like drama. Like you had to actually really work hard to just be out of it. Like you had to.

Gloria (20:00)

Yeah, me too.

Fatima (20:20)

F like you had to make an effort if you wanted to not do you get what I'm saying? Because it was like it was so small It was just like how can you not how can you not know what's going on? How can you not be in the mix? You know, so it was just like It was just something else. I was just like get me out of here the whole time I don't even talk about that era of life. But yeah, ⁓ and yeah those kind of things like

Gloria (20:24)

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Fatima (20:43)

they change you and then sometimes you end up looking back and it's like well I used to be more sociable so like what's going on now but you know different areas of life require different parts of you sometimes you know

Gloria (20:54)

Yeah,

yeah, yeah, for sure. Like, if that opportunity of me being like a student head of Year 7 didn't come along, I wonder like what I would have done. Like, it made me feel like I had purpose, like I had something to do aside of my education. Like, in sixth form, my sixth form at least, there weren't really any clubs, so it was like, you came there for education and then like you would go, like go home and that's kind of it.

But like there wasn't really much to the outside of that. Like, yeah, you can talk with your friends and stuff, but I don't know. I felt like being in the student leadership team gave me purpose, gave me something to do. Yeah.

Fatima (21:34)

you

Have you done a personality test, Gloria?

Gloria (21:41)

No I haven't actually, probably like ages ago

but I can't remember what I was.

Fatima (21:45)

⁓

I wanna, I'm gonna send it to you and then you're gonna do one. I really wanna know what personality type you are. ⁓ I think we might be in like a similar category. Might not be exactly the same but a similar category. And then you'll let me know how it is. Okay cool. So we're gonna move on to another section. It's called giving her flowers. Yeah.

Gloria (21:50)

Okay.

Okay, let's do it.

Thank

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll let you know.

Fatima (22:14)

So in this section is a part that I created because I know that in this world women are often put against each other, know, beat each other down or like what not. So I wanted to create something where we're spreading love and acknowledging other women. So I wanted to ask you if there is any, a woman or any women that you would like to thank or give your flowers to.

Gloria (22:40)

Okay, so I think I'm going to talk about one woman specifically and then towards the end I'll give some honourable mentions to other women in my life. So the woman that I am choosing to talk about would be my food tech teacher in secondary school. You know, she was a really...

Fatima (22:49)

Okay.

Wait, do you want to say her

name or do you want to? Yeah, of course.

Gloria (23:05)

Can I say her name?

Yeah, that would be Miss Hall-Hinds from secondary school. She's a really lovely woman deep down inside and on the outside as well. She's really lovely, but she's strict. Like she, she means business. Like she doesn't have time to play around. And I guess growing up, yeah, seven year eight is like, like, you know, that teacher's kind of scary. But as you go into like your GCSE years and like she was actually teaching me, it's just like...

Fatima (23:13)

Thanks.

Mm.

Gloria (23:35)

she means business, like she doesn't she doesn't want no messing around. She's there to make sure that you get the grades that you need, you know, to do what you need to do in life. But why I chose her specifically is because she was tough on me as well. Like, but she did that for a purpose. She did that so that I can actually succeed. Like, I'm proud to say that because of her, I got a grade eight in food tech. Because of her, like.

Fatima (23:58)

Slay!

Gloria (24:04)

Like food tech, I feel like everyone thinks food tech is a light subject. It can be light, but there was a lot of things that went into it. Like if your recipe fails, you have to do it again and again and again until it doesn't fail. And like you actually have to work and improve. What did I do wrong here? What can I improve so that this doesn't happen next time? And like staying behind after school or like...

having food tech and then it goes over into my break or lunch, like all of that. And yeah, she was always there, like pushing me to like do well, go further, you know, keep on going, keep on trying. And like, if it doesn't work, like what can you do to make it work? You know, and I feel like especially her being Caribbean, which is, yes, she was just, she just meant business. And I really respect that from her as well.

Like, even like when she would tell us like random stories in class, like how she was learning how to ride a bike so that she can impress her brothers. Because like she was the youngest out of five siblings and she had like five older brothers. And like at the time when I was one of her students, she was like learning how to ride a bike. And like even then, like even into her adulthood, like she's still learning. And I'd say that's something that inspires that.

Fatima (25:12)

I'm so sorry.

Gloria (25:31)

inspires me as well. Like, I would want to keep on learning, keep on finding out new things, you learning new skills. Yeah. Yeah.

Fatima (25:41)

adventures. Yeah,

I love that. Sometimes we need that tough love, like, you know, it's just gonna kind of like, they're helping you, but not in the way that you might think that you need or you want, you know, like, but they do mean well. And sometimes in the moment it's like, but then like,

Gloria (25:47)

For sure.

Yeah.

Fatima (26:05)

You look forward to it you're like, yeah, I appreciate that. Shout out to Ms. Hall-Hines. She was a boss. She really was. She really was. I love that energy. Yeah, she was amazing.

Gloria (26:05)

Yeah.

or ⁓ she was she was boss lady

Yeah.

Yeah, like I even remember doing coursework for food tech. I would always be up at night just trying to edit, trying to make it look good and like the necessary information there and always like going to her like, what can I add? What did I do well? What can I improve on? Taking that feedback and like just repeating that process until I could get the highest marks that I could personally achieve. Yeah, because she didn't give up on me.

Fatima (26:45)

Yeah.

Yeah. I love them. You know who that was for me in secondary school? ⁓ Miss Lebriton. Yeah. Miss Lebriton was like... I wouldn't say she was tough, tough, tough, but she was like tough. Like she had like this perfect balance somehow, but it was like...

Gloria (26:49)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Yeah.

Fatima (27:09)

you can do better, what can we do to make you get the best possible thing you can possibly achieve, you know? And I feel like it's so powerful to have people, and I think we were so blessed in our secondary school, at least at the time we were there. ⁓ You know, there was just so many amazing teachers and...

Gloria (27:16)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fatima (27:30)

people who like believed in the students, you know? And hence why there's so many of us here, like peers around us that went to our secondary school and are doing great things and are on these ventures and pursuing their dreams. Like, it's so sick. And it's just because it was, we had an amazing set of teachers that believed in us pretty much.

Gloria (27:55)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Like the teachers that we had, I thought that was a standard and then you go other places and it's like, ⁓ maybe it's not like that everywhere else. You know, it makes me really appreciate the secondary school that I went to. And like as I grow up, I definitely appreciate it more because it really develops me and like that's how I am, the Gloria I am today.

Fatima (28:01)

Yeah.

you

Exactly. But yeah, so you're going to say those honorable mentions.

Gloria (28:26)

Honourable mentions. ⁓ Miss Leverton for sure as well. I'd say I'd have a similar story with her because she was my French teacher too. Like, I remember one day I was just in a slump and like she'll be like, Gloria, like what's going on? Like she'll always pick up things and always try and boost me. Like, I know you're doing well, but I know you can do even better. And just like that, just keep on pushing you to get higher and better grades and stuff like that.

Fatima (28:33)

Okay?

Yes, you do.

Gloria (28:54)

And aside from academics, she did care about me as well because she would notice when I didn't sleep and she would be like, Gloria, she'd be like, Gloria, why are you not sleeping? You you need to sleep. You have your GCSE soon. Like she was one of the teachers who noticed I wouldn't sleep and Miss Walhans as well. She would notice when I was tired, you know, like in secondary school, I didn't sleep much. like teachers really got onto me for that. In year 11, they really got onto me for that. But it's...

Fatima (29:00)

Yes.

Yeah.

Gloria (29:23)

That's the sort of thing that you appreciate, you know, that they care about the little things like that aside from academics and education. They care about you as a person as well. Yeah.

Fatima (29:30)

Yeah. 100%. Is Lebriton always

pick... I don't know how she does it. I think it's like the mother antics. She picks up on everything. Like, it's nice.

Gloria (29:40)

Yeah.

Yeah, some other honorable mentions. Miss Probert, like how can I not mention her? Miss Probert for sure. She's always been so nice. She was my drama teacher as well for a period of time, even though I didn't study drama. Always nice. It was always a safe space in her classroom. Always somewhere where you can go and feel safe. And Miss... ⁓ I'm remembering her first name. Miss Clark. Miss Clark. Yeah.

Ms. Carcassel, she joined later, but she was also really nice. And at some point I used to tell other students that she was my mum, because that was just fun.

Fatima (30:18)

Yeah, I remember!

she would take me back I remember this! ⁓ Miss Clark has got such a lovely energy. Her energy is like yeah I miss it like her energy is just like aww Miss Clark man.

Gloria (30:26)

Yeah

Yeah.

She really does. She's like so positive.

And she would eat whatever I made in food tech. She would eat whatever I made in food tech and always give me feedback as well. And she was always nice. She's also another safe space that I could go to and just feel safe. Yes, she is. She's so real. She'll just talk about the randomest things and it'll just make you laugh.

Fatima (30:48)

Mmmmm

Yeah, she's just real, she's so real like...

Yes,

that's what saying. Like she's just so authentic, you know, like she just real like she just miss Clark and nothing else, you know, like, take me as I am. ⁓

Gloria (31:16)

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm going to speedfire through the next ones. My form teacher from secondary school, she was also really, really nice. My biology teacher in sixth form, Burns,

My chemistry teacher I also liked, Ms. Topping. She was very nice. She was like, she was nice. Like she was one of those teachers that wouldn't shout at misbehaving kids and like take that as you will. But as a person, she was also a very nice person. And obviously my mother as well. know, Honore mentioned to my mother, you know, working to provide for me and my siblings. And I remember

for period of time, she was literally working every day. Like, she would work every day and she would still like make food and cook for all of us. And like we would still have a home cooked meal despite her working every day, despite her being tired. So yeah, that really, like she's boss lady as well. I'd like to be like that when I'm older, like balancing work life and family life as well. Yeah.

Fatima (32:30)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. 100%. It means you appreciate the small things. And then also, it gives you that drive to, I wanna be successful now. I wanna do this, because my mama's done so much for me, you know?

Gloria (32:44)

Yeah does. I just want to make her proud.

Fatima (32:49)

I love that and you will and you should be already I would be so proud of you honestly I really would but Gloria yeah what do you feel like is something that people misunderstand about you yeah

Gloria (32:51)

Hope soon.

Thank you.

Yeah.

about me?

Do you know what? A few times, like when people like first first meet me or like see me in a room, some people think I'm mean.

Fatima (33:18)

It's okay, yeah.

Gloria (33:19)

Like

when they first see me and they don't get to talk to me, they think I'm like mean. Like I don't know, I don't think I have a resting bee face, you know? But they sense that I'm like, like you know, like I don't want to say typical light skin because it's not typical, but they think I want to like those light skins that are like mean and like have an attitude and like think they're better than everyone else. And then when they talk to me, it's like, you're actually so nice and so bubbly and everything.

Fatima (33:25)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Gloria (33:48)

Yeah, I don't get how people think that. That's a misconception people have about me. Yeah.

Fatima (33:54)

People think that about me

all the time. You know what, I had a theory, but I don't know how accurate this is, but I just had a theory. If you're a black girl with big lips, you automatically have, like, people automatically think you're a man. I don't know, because I was just like, I don't get this. Like, I feel like sometimes naturally, like, you can just appear as rude, but also I think, going back to how I was saying, how you have a really, um, what's the word, like...

your energy, your very calm, your very in your own world type thing. I think when you have that, are like, oh she's not actively going out of her way to search or like to talk to me or to... do you get what I'm saying? So they're just like, oh well then she's mean, you know? Because it's like... or they see you as... anyway, they see you as like standoffishy. Do you get what I mean? Because it's like...

Gloria (34:37)

Yeah.

Yeah, I get it.

Fatima (34:51)

they don't have an easy way... why don't I have easy entry into her world? Do you get what I mean? They see you as that, yeah. And then once you start talking, once they start talking to you...

Gloria (34:57)

Yeah, I get it.

Fatima (35:04)

they kind of see, wait, she's not like that. But it's just that you've created a world where, like you said, your peace is important and you know, you're finding yourself that you don't need to externally go out of your way. Do you get what I mean? But then it's like, you are a nice person. You're not like, oh, why are you talking to me? You're distracting me, you're disrupting me. But it's-

Gloria (35:23)

Yeah, yeah, I it.

Yeah.

Fatima (35:32)

It's just like, you're fine, you know?

Gloria (35:35)

Yeah, like I always think it's good to give people a chance. Like you can't judge people based on how they look. I don't blame people that do, but you can't, you know? And when you talk to a person, you actually find out like, this person's like actually nice. You know? Like if you judge them based on face value, like imagine like what friendship you could have missed out on or like...

Fatima (35:40)

Yes.

Yeah, 100%.

Yeah, 100%.

Gloria (36:03)

what a great time you could have had with them but because you judge them based off like what they look like you know you missed out on that opportunity.

Fatima (36:12)

Yeah, 100%. 100 % People, and we do it all the time, you know, like they say never judge a book by its cover. But sometimes you gotta judge a book by its cover, but don't judge a book by its cover. Honestly, nah, it gets like that. I get you, I get you. And I feel like even it relates, cause I saying there was a time like in school when you didn't speak to people as much. weren't around people as much.

Gloria (36:14)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fatima (36:39)

What was like that for you, that period of time for you internally?

Gloria (36:45)

I'd say if I've distanced myself from people that's normally like something's going on. Maybe I wouldn't say so much of like a fight with other people. I'd say something more personal has gone on because I guess that's a bad habit I kind of have. But like I distance myself from others if I'm feeling a bit down because I don't want other people to see me down. And if I am being honest, I do have a difficult time.

like talking about my feelings, like you know, like I feel like it kind of relates to me growing up as like the first daughter in an African household. Like you don't always have time to acknowledge your feelings. Like you have to be, you have to be ready. You have to be on it. Like, you know, so yeah, sometimes I'm just alone in my thoughts and that's okay. And then I bounce back and I'm like, hi everyone, how have you been?

Fatima (37:38)

Hmm.

Gloria (37:43)

where did you go? And they're like, I'm okay now, don't worry. And they're like, yay. But yeah, I'm also saying that I am grateful for the people that I have in my life because even though I shouldn't necessarily, I know that it is bad that I distance myself when I start to feel down, but like the people that I have in my life, they understand that and they're still there for me, which I do really appreciate from them as well.

Fatima (37:44)

Yeah.

So it was like intentional.

Gloria (38:13)

Yeah, I'd say more so intentional. Or like sometimes I just felt like maybe I didn't belong in a certain group and that's okay as well, you know, not every group is for you. Yeah.

Fatima (38:25)

Mm-hmm. And that's

such a powerful thing because I feel like at a young age as well, there's a lot of people who can't accept that. It's like you need to fit in somewhere. Even if the people are not your people, you need to find a mould. And I think it's hard, but I think when you do that, that's when you find the fake friendships. That's when you find the ones that don't align. That's when your peace is disturbed.

Gloria (38:51)

Yeah.

Fatima (38:52)

that's when your peace gets disturbed and stuff like that. And when you are able to be picky, I think that's what opens doors for the aligned friendships, for the good friendships, for the people that, you know, like support and help you. But also, I get what you're saying with the... ⁓

Gloria (39:05)

Yeah.

Fatima (39:10)

what's the word, with like being the oldest daughter and I felt like for such a long time in my life, I always felt like I had to be strong, you know, like you have to be the strong one. Don't take your BS, you know, like you had to have it all together. And I feel like somewhere down the line, I kind of learned that, okay, this is actually not the best for me. Like it's actually stressful and, but I didn't know. It took me to have a conversation with someone.

Gloria (39:18)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Fatima (39:40)

So what happened is I had a conversation with someone. After the conversation, I felt like a light weight off of my chest. I wasn't opening up or anything. It just after the conversation with someone. I just felt this light weight off of my back. And I was like, wait, I didn't even know I had a weight on my back, you know? And it kind of made me realize, wait, I've been holding onto this so much that...

Gloria (39:47)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Fatima (40:03)

like trying to be strong so much that I haven't realized that I've actually just burdened myself like I've put a weight on myself. So was like okay I'm gonna make the effort to be vulnerable but what did I do? I swung to the other side of the pendulum. So I just became so vulnerable but that's also not good. Do you know what I mean? That's also not good and it also puts yourself in dangerous situations and I remember like I was like see why did I do this kind of type thing but

Gloria (40:23)

Yeah. Yeah.

Fatima (40:34)

It's finding that middle ground and understanding that you can be vulnerable but you need to have those boundaries in place, you know? And remember that the people around you, your friends around you, they're there to support you. I know it can be difficult but that's what they're there for. And if they're not there to support you then those are not the people that you want around you. But 100%, I still have that, like I still don't like to talk about certain feelings or certain emotions or when I ask someone for help.

Gloria (40:36)

Mm.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

Fatima (41:04)

I feel so bad like, I'm like why am I asking for help right now and whatever but I still do it because I think, think about you. How would you feel if your friend, you know your friend's going through something and they're not telling you and you're there? Do you know what I mean? And if your friend does come to you, are you like, ah, why are you coming to me for?

Gloria (41:06)

Yeah, I feel the same as well.

Yeah, I get it.

No, I'd be supportive. I think it's brave that you were able to open up to me first because that in itself isn't an easy thing to do. So yeah, I'd definitely support my friend and try and support them however that may be suited to them and however they may need it.

Fatima (41:44)

Exactly and that's how you kind of have to see it where it's like They're not your friend just for decoration, you know people are not around you just for decoration and there's a reason that you've chosen these people because like you said You're selective of the people in your life. So there's a reason that these people are around you You know as hard as it may be utilize that Gloria. Don't leave everything on on your back You know, it's growth. It's a journey

Gloria (41:53)

Yeah.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, like I'd say

definitely the people that I have around me, like they're amazing people and if I need to open up then they will be there for me and they'll support me but that's just something that I'm currently working on, being able to open up.

Fatima (42:25)

Yeah,

yeah, it's growth, but hopefully soon like you'll be able to get there. And like with your little circle, your little bubble of people that you've created, how do you decide? Like how do you, how did you like build or come to that point? I hope I've made sense that makes sense.

Gloria (42:31)

Yeah.

Yeah,

yeah, yeah. I feel like it's just, if we bond, if we gel and we get along, then it's all good. I feel like me personally, I don't necessarily have like one big friend group. I have like one friend there, one friend there, one friend there. I feel like that works better for me personally and I prefer it that way. Like, yeah. And these people may know each other and they're fan of each other, but...

Fatima (43:03)

Yeah.

Gloria (43:16)

It doesn't mean that we're necessarily one big group of friends and that's okay as well. I don't have to be in a big girlfriend group.

Fatima (43:19)

Yeah.

Gloria (43:23)

Yeah. And I feel like it makes the friendship more intimate. I hope that's the right word. Intimate as in, yeah, like I can really bond with them with one person at a time. And yeah, I do have some groups of friends, but I'd say they're small. Like it would be like four of us. And that's also nice and intimate and close as well. Yeah.

Fatima (43:40)

Yeah

Mm-hmm. Yeah,

But it's just also about, you know, like you said, do you feel around people you meet? It's who you meet is who you meet in it. Who you're around is who you're around. Who you decide to keep around is who you decide to keep around. And girl friendships are so super important as well. Good people around you and good people who are supporting you. Do feel like you have different, a different outlook on friendships compared to when you was like in secondary school?

Gloria (43:55)

Mmm.

They really are.

I would say yeah, definitely. I'd say...

think friendships for me now, they hold a lot of value. Whereas in secondary school it was like, yeah, who am I going to hang out with at break time and lunch time? Or like, who am I going to talk to in class? But like, because friendships now, I don't see that person every day. It just means that that friendship is so much more stronger that even if we don't see each other every day, we're still friends. And it's like, we never really separated. And it's like, you know, it didn't really feel like I didn't see you for months.

Fatima (44:32)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gloria (44:52)

Like I have lots of those types of friendships. And I'd say that's different to secondary. Like in secondary school, if I didn't see you for a long time, then probably just drift apart. And that's normal to be honest, you know? But there are some friendships that I've had, that I've had from secondary school and they're still standing today. So it just really depends, to be honest. Yeah.

Fatima (44:53)

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Did you want to have long friendships from secondary school?

Gloria (45:22)

⁓ I'd say it was just something that kind of happened.

as time goes along, I feel like this applies to lots of people, as time goes along in secondary, your friendship groups kind of get smaller and smaller. And yeah, that's just how it is. And sometimes if you go to a different sixth form or like your friend groups split apart, you might talk less and you might become more distant. Or if you do go to the same sixth form and you...

stay friends. Yeah, that's nice as well. But I feel like it really comes down to how much you value that friendship. Like if you really value a friendship, a relationship, then you wouldn't let a different circumstance take that friendship away from you. You know, you'd still want to see that person, even if we might not see each other every day, you still want to see them from time to time or like make an effort and text them every now and again, you know.

Fatima (46:20)

Do you ever feel like it's difficult? like I said, I feel like for you, not from, you don't follow the masses, the trends, or trying to be out there or be big. So do you ever feel like you struggle with that?

Gloria (46:30)

Mm, yeah, yeah.

I'd say yes a little bit because

Yeah, like sometimes you might be friends with a person and you might think like, you know, maybe I should have texted them a bit more. You know, maybe I should have put a bit more effort into that relationship. You know, maybe, maybe it shouldn't have ended there or maybe it should have, you know. But as for following the crowd, I don't really care that much, to be honest. I don't know. I just, it's just there. It's just like.

Yeah, I mean, if it's something that I want to do, then I'll do it. If it's something that doesn't appeal to me, then I won't. You know, and like, I don't know if this relates or not, but like people vaping in secondary school, you know, that was like very popular thing, like you were called things if you vaped. I never did it. I still never vaped to this day. I've never touched it, never done it. And yeah, I have no regrets, no regrets at all.

Fatima (47:41)

Yeah.

Uh-uh. There's like, I feel like it's a balance though, because you know, you wouldn't look at, like you wouldn't see yourself and be like, oh well. I don't know, like you're completely out of touch. People can still respect you and you can still not follow the crowd and not follow the massive crowd. And it definitely plays a part into how people like...

Gloria (47:56)

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fatima (48:06)

approach you people how people look at you and stuff but i know it can be hard how do feel like you i don't know i think it's natural for you but you answer maintain the balance and like not following the masses but also positioning yourself in a way where it's like you are still respected and acknowledged by others

Gloria (48:16)

Mm-hmm.

I'd say for me, people respect my decision. Like if I'm not doing something that everyone's doing, like vaping or smoking weed, I don't know why I'm giving such bad examples, but you know what I'm trying to say? if I'm just not doing what the mass is doing, like I feel like the people around me still respect that. like we still have other things that we can bond with.

Fatima (48:43)

Is it because that's what was around you?

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Gloria (48:57)

other

discussion topics or other things that we just bond with and that's okay. And if we don't have anything in common, that's okay. You know, maybe, maybe we're just not meant to be. But yeah, the people around me, you know, some of my friends vape, some of my friends do things that I don't do. I do things that some of my friends don't do. And we're still able to be friends. I feel like once you hit a certain level of matureness, you're just able to overcome that.

Fatima (49:01)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Gloria (49:27)

that difference, you Yeah.

Fatima (49:29)

Mm-hmm and like

making that separation of like is This okay like for me is this something that I can personally deal with and if you can then it's not that deep like No, and if you can't then the Friendship is not for you in it Yeah, What do you feel like you've learned in the past couple of years?

Gloria (49:42)

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Learn, ⁓ let me think about that. Learn in what sense?

Fatima (50:01)

like any lessons that you've learned or like things that are like

over the past couple years or things you've outgrown maybe.

Gloria (50:12)

⁓ I'd say touching on the friendship thing again. Like it's okay if you outgrow certain friendships, like maybe they're not meant to last and that's okay. Maybe they don't serve a purpose in your current life and that's okay. And letting go of bad friendships as well. Like if the people around you are a bad influence, should you really be around them? You know, I don't think that would be a smart decision. And like just being able to distinguish.

and being able to let go. Even though can be bit painful because they may still be your friends despite their bad influence but at the end of the day, if they're not really positively influencing you or positively benefiting you or making you a better person then I think it's worth letting them go. Time will heal the pain.

Fatima (51:06)

Yeah.

Gloria (51:07)

Or like you can find new people, you know, just because you let go of one group doesn't mean you're going to be alone forever. You know, you can grow, find new people, find people that relate to you, that positively influence you and things like that. What else? What other lessons? Reach out to others. Definitely. Like we were talking about before, again, reaching out to others in times, in hard times, difficult times.

That's something I'm currently learning and I've learned, you know, it's okay to not be able to do everything. It's okay to not like be strong in the moment. Everyone has their time of weakness and that's okay. That's why you have the people around you and that's why you should choose people that can help you and benefit you so that in your time of weakness, you can rely on them as well, you know? Yeah. And what else have I learned?

Learning how to express my emotions. I feel like as a person who's always seen as like happy and cheerful and calm, I feel like I've not had pressure to maintain it, but like I want to maintain it. Like I don't want people to see a side of me that makes me like weak and vulnerable. Like I don't want people to see that side of me. But at the same time, being able to express my emotions.

Like, I'm feeling this way, like I'm feeling sad and it's okay that I'm not happy right now. Being able to express my emotions like that and, you know, trying to get back to the normal or to the happy. Yeah.

Fatima (52:50)

You mentioned like elements of feeling like weak and vulnerable.

what is it that you're scared will happen if people can see that vulnerable side of you?

Gloria (53:01)

I feel like people might see me in a different light. Like, this is something that I personally overthink and it's probably not true. Like, it's okay to be weak. But for me, I feel like people see me differently. Like, I don't know, like how can she not do this or how can she not be able to handle that, you know? I don't know. I guess that's something that kind of scares me and I don't want people to treat me differently just because I'm vulnerable in a situation.

Fatima (53:31)

It's like a way to control how people see you. So that there's no kind of opportunity to look at you in a certain way.

Gloria (53:32)

See ya.

Yeah, yeah, exactly that. Like, I don't want to give you an opportunity to see me as less than or weaker than what I actually am just because I have a moment where I feel low or where something's gone wrong, but that's not like an accurate representation of me, you know? I don't want you to like associate me with like one bad point or period in my life, you know? So like, yeah.

Fatima (54:13)

But one thing is, is you actually can never control how people see you. One thing that I'm learning, like, I know it's so hard because it's like you want to control as much as you can, but you can do all of that to control how people see you and they can still see you in a different way, you know? And it's like...

Gloria (54:17)

Yep, yep, that's very true.

Mm.

Fatima (54:34)

Gloria is Gloria. There's so many different parts that make up yourself. And there's moments when you're sad and there's moments when you're down. There's moments when you might be angry and there's moments when you're happy. But if someone is going to be in your life, they need to accept all parts of you, you know? And you trying to have that control is like...

Gloria (54:50)

Yeah.

Fatima (54:55)

It's like the people only get access to one side of you and then they're not accepting Gloria for Gloria, you know, and if people do look at you that way, fine, but at least you're repelling the people who are meant for you. Do you get what saying? I know it's hard because you want to have that control because you know how you want to be seen. So you want to make sure that you are seen that way, you know, but you can, for example, like we said earlier on, people can sit there, look at you and think you're rude.

Gloria (55:04)

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, they really can. Yeah, you can't do nothing.

Fatima (55:27)

But what can you do about that? Do know what I mean? And everyone has different

experiences. I think one thing that I've had to learn is like learning okay to be like, some people are gonna see me differently. Some people are gonna look at me and I'm gonna be the villain in their story. But making sure that you know that you're doing the best that you can with what you have, you know? And...

Gloria (55:44)

Mm.

Yeah.

Fatima (55:51)

Like we're saying, like Miss Clark, accept me as I am, and like, this is me, you know? It's whatever.

Gloria (55:55)

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's why she's an honorable mention. She's just so free and carefree and you get to see all parts of her and you can either accept her or not accept her. And it doesn't really impact her in a certain way because she's happy with how she's projecting herself.

Fatima (56:10)

Exactly.

Yeah, like,

exactly. And it's like, if you're gonna repel people, regardless, like if you're still gonna try to control your image, yeah, and people are still gonna look at you differently, you might as well just be yourself. I'm saying this, I'm saying this to myself too, because like I still struggle, but we need to stop controlling how people like trying to control how people see us.

Gloria (56:30)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fatima (56:42)

This is never that deep at the end of the day. But it is, but it isn't.

Gloria (56:47)

Mm. Yeah, I hear it.

Fatima (56:49)

so we're gonna move on to If I Were You.

Gloria (56:57)

Okay.

Fatima (56:57)

If I were you is my little like dilemma or situation section so what happens is is the previous guest would have left a situation for the current guest to lose yourself and you will respond to our previous guest with if I were you and then at the end you'll leave a situation for our next guest yeah okay

Gloria (57:18)

Okay.

Okay, yeah.

Fatima (57:26)

So your situation is, you're in a situation where one of your friends or someone you know keeps putting you down. They don't respect your boundaries, they keep putting you down and they undermine your position as a woman. It makes you feel like you don't deserve to be in that space. So our previous guest is not asking how would you go about telling them, but instead, what would you go about telling yourself?

about what your worth is or how you would make sure that you don't take those words to heart. How would you remind yourself of what your purpose is? my gosh, A lot of words. But yes, will you stop if I were you,

Gloria (58:02)

Okay, yeah. I love words.

If I were you, I would look at the people around me. If someone is bringing me down and not being nice, if one person is treating me like that, I would look at the rest of the people around me. If the rest of the people around me are not doing that, then...

I think that says something about that one person and you shouldn't let those words affect you because if everyone doesn't see you like that then surely it's not true, you know? And if I were you, I would... Give me some time to think. Yeah, is deep. Yeah. I wouldn't let those words get to me because like I would know myself, you know? I would know...

Fatima (58:44)

Okay, it's a deep one this one is

Gloria (58:58)

deep down if that's true or not. And if it's not true, why would I let a lie hurt me? Why would I be affected by something that isn't true? So if I were you, I wouldn't let those words get to me. I would be like, no, I know who I am. I know that I'm not this or that. And in fact, I'm this instead. I'm not who you say I am. I'm who I say I am. Yeah.

Fatima (59:25)

Period. ⁓

Gloria (59:29)

Yeah. Yeah.

Fatima (59:31)

⁓ Okay, I love that. I think that's okay. I'm not who you say I am. I am who I say I am. Exactly. I don't take that. That's a quote. You should quote that. You should make that your lock screen That is so stupid. Okay, and now it's your turn. So what situation would you like to leave for our next

Gloria (59:38)

Yeah.

I should. Okay.

I I will.

⁓

Let me think about that one.

If I were you. If I were you.

Fatima (1:00:05)

But this is like you're asking them so they will answer.

Gloria (1:00:07)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If they would answer.

Fatima (1:00:11)

It could be anything random.

Gloria (1:00:12)

Mm-hmm.

Like.

How would they overcome being treated differently in a workplace? Or like being treated as less than in a workplace?

Fatima (1:00:29)

Okay, how would they overcome it?

Gloria (1:00:30)

Yeah,

how would they overcome it? Like, would they say something to the manager or people around them or would they find, leave and find a different job? Like, yeah, how would they overcome being treated as less than in a workplace?

Fatima (1:00:48)

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yes.

Gloria (1:00:50)

as a woman in a workplace, you know.

Yeah.

Fatima (1:00:57)

I hope I can't wait to hear what our next guest, But yeah, we'll make sure you listen out to hear what the next guest has to say.

Gloria (1:01:06)

I'm excited, can't wait to hear.

Fatima (1:01:08)

Me too. So Gloria, what motivates you? Like what gives you motivation and drive?

Gloria (1:01:17)

I'd say a lot of things. I can't pinpoint it down to one thing. I'd say my past. I'd want to make past Gloria happy. I'd want her to actually get to her dream and achieve her dream. I don't want all the work that I've put into in the past to be just for nothing. I want to actually see it through and...

achieve what I want to achieve and just quotes I would say like a lot of different quotes as I'm someone who watches anime I will admit like anime can be inspirational like yes it's an anime but like you can take like that out and put it into context in your life and like

Fatima (1:02:08)

Yeah.

Gloria (1:02:10)

I wouldn't say that the anime inspires me, I'd say like a quote that would inspire me in my life. Like if I give an example, like I watched an anime a few weeks ago, which was about like time and the quote from that was that time waits for no one. You know, like I have that written on my wall now, like time waits for no one. And it just kind of reminds me to make the most of the time I have, you know. Time doesn't go backwards, it only goes forwards.

So I just need to make the most of the time that I have, whether that be pursuing what I want to do, spending time with friends and family, learning new things, you know, because time waits for no one. You don't know if you're going to wake up tomorrow. know, like tomorrow is not promised. You don't know if you're going to wake up tomorrow. So you need to make the most of the time that you have right now.

Fatima (1:03:06)

Mm-hmm. It's so real.

Gloria (1:03:09)

It really is. But yeah. I'd say if I'm feeling not necessarily down, but if I'm feeling lazy and I feel like I'm not doing anything, it's like, what if I die tomorrow? Like that's just, that's for me to like get myself up and start doing something. But like, what if I die tomorrow? Like, are you going to be happy with everything that you achieve if you die tomorrow? You know, like, are you going to be happy?

dying knowing that you didn't give it your all in life. Yeah. Like yeah. Like I'd rather die having no regrets, you know?

Fatima (1:03:49)

Yeah,

get what you mean, 100%. And like, you were speaking about your younger self as well. And what do you feel like your younger self would look at your current self as now? And what would you say to her?

Gloria (1:03:53)

Yeah.

Mm.

I feel like my younger self would see certain aspects of my life and would be proud and like other aspects and would be like shocked like wow like I didn't think like life would lead up to this you know because life is so unexpected you can have a certain plan but something else might happen and that something else might be good or bad you know and yeah it could just influence your life differently and you just have to work with what you have

work from that. And what I would say to my younger self, I would say thank you. I would say thank you to my younger self for not giving up on me and not giving up when times were hard, you know, and still going through with things even though they were hard or difficult at the time. That's what I'd say to my younger self. Thank you.

Fatima (1:04:55)

You're beautiful. I actually love that.

It sounds like... Like you're proud of your younger self.

Gloria (1:05:02)

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, she's gone through some tough times and she got me to where I am today.

Yeah.

Yeah, she did.

Fatima (1:05:18)

Is there, is there, oh no, I kind of asked this, I was going to ask if there's something that like you're working on right now but you kind of touched off on that.

Gloria (1:05:27)

Yeah.

Yeah, but just working on how to express my feelings and not keeping them in. Even if it's like naming an emotion, like I feel sad right now. Why do you feel sad? And just like processing my emotions, my feelings, things like that.

Fatima (1:05:45)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Well, what are you doing to work on those things if you don't mind me asking?

Gloria (1:05:50)

if I'm feeling sad and tried to say it out loud like I'm sad and like I think like why am I sad like what's the reason why I'm sad or if I'm thinking like I'm sad and actually take a moment to self-reflect and it's like no I'm not sad I'm feeling more mad I'm feeling angry like I feel like just naming an emotion makes you feel better because you know how to go about it like okay I know that I'm feeling this

So what can I do to feel better? Instead of just sit there and scroll down TikTok all day. Like what can I actively do to feel better? know? Yeah.

Fatima (1:06:21)

Yeah.

yeah yeah i get what

mean it's like acknowledging your emotions first as well

Gloria (1:06:37)

Yeah.

Fatima (1:06:38)

I remember like people used to always say you know how when people get angry and like people will tell you oh count to ten or something to calm down people always like it never works it never works it never works and I'm like you know what it is you need to acknowledge that you're angry first because there's no point being one two three four five six seven eight nine ten you're not gonna calm down like you know I mean you need to you need to realize wait I'm I'm actually angry like I'm pissed off right now let me count

Gloria (1:06:47)

Yeah.

Mm.

Yeah.

Fatima (1:07:08)

with the intention of calming down. Do you get what I mean? It's not one, two, three, it's okay. You take a breath and you're like, I'm gonna count to pull myself together. But you've acknowledged that you're angry, hence your counting. Do you get what I mean?

Gloria (1:07:11)

Mm, yeah.

Mm.

Yeah.

Fatima (1:07:26)

It's not just like just crash out and then you count and then all of a sudden you're supposed to calm down No, it's like you to acknowledge and I think that's the third thing, you know, acknowledging that ⁓ I actually am feeling sad right now and it's so easy with social media to just you know scroll and kind of like roll your emotions away and It's hard to sit with yourself, you know Do you sit with yourself a lot? Do you do any like do you like do yoga meditation or nah, that's not really

Gloria (1:07:30)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm.

No, not really. I don't really do yoga or meditation. But I'd say one thing that calms me down is very weird, but because I don't live in London anymore, I live outside of London.

I'd say like 20 to 30 minutes on the bus to actually reach London again. There's so many farms and things in this area. So whenever I'm on the bus, I always like to take that time to just sit down.

Like without my phone, look out, calm myself, think about any thoughts, know, think about the day I had or the day I'm going to have. And yeah, I feel like that really calms me. Like I do enjoy my bus ride, especially in the summer. And like you see like everything blooming and all the flowers. Or like, you know, like when you get happy when you see a horse, like sometimes I get to see a horse, they're like, that's fun as well.

Fatima (1:08:44)

Yeah.

Gloria (1:08:49)

Like, yeah, just taking time to just appreciate the life around you. Yeah.

Fatima (1:08:52)

Mm-hmm. It's super therapeutic as well. I can't

even imagine. I remember when I was at my old job and like I would have 6 a.m. shifts. I wouldn't see animals but like going on the train early in the morning the C2C not the TFR1

when I was on it, early in the morning, it's just so therapeutic because it's quiet, the world, no one's like awake, do you know what mean? Like it's silent and it's just, you just have that time to like kind of like acknowledge and just be at peace and gather your thoughts together. I think that's such a beautiful thing. And the ocean as well, I love looking at like the sea.

Gloria (1:09:10)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah

really?

Fatima (1:09:31)

I love that like if I'm on a boat or something I love looking at like the sea I think it's just so cool like wow there's so much of it it's so beautiful

Gloria (1:09:36)

Thank you.

Mm.

Yeah.

Like I feel like taking time to look at the things around me calms me down. Like just appreciating things around me. I'm just like taking a moment off my phone. It helps me to calm down and think like maybe the problem isn't that big, you know? Like I'm just one person in a big world. Like maybe it's not that big. It's not the end of the world, you know? Like the world will still spin. I'll still live. I'm not going to die. So it's okay.

Fatima (1:10:13)

It's so easy to feel like the world is about to end, everything is going so bad, especially when you're in your own little world and your own bubble and everything that's stressing you out, you're like, ⁓ but everything that stressed you out, everything that has happened, you've overcome, you know, and sometimes you have to sit here and look in the grand scheme of things and you're like, how significant is this thing that I'm stressing over really? You know, like, thank God you've got a roof over your head, you know,

Gloria (1:10:16)

Mmm. ⁓

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Fatima (1:10:43)

all of this stuff but then it is so easy to stress about the other things that are around us you know and we're young like what the hell why are we stressing out yeah like

Gloria (1:10:50)

Mm.

Yeah, like there's still so much time

Still so much time like despite what everyone says there's still so much time to figure things out and Like you don't have to take a generic route that everyone takes like Yeah, like you can do things in your own timing and you can still get the results that you want

Fatima (1:11:18)

Yeah, exactly. And God works in mysterious ways as well. Like, people think that there's like one size fits all kind of route. And everyone has got their own path set for them. You know, but it's easy to compare and think, I need to go down this route. I need to do this. And everyone is going to tell you things that they think is best for you. You know, and it's like at the end of the day, you know what's best for yourself. But I think it's hard because in this era of life, like we're saying at the beginning,

Gloria (1:11:27)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm.

Fatima (1:11:48)

you go from primary school to secondary school from secondary school to sixth form and each next step even though you had an element of like Independence in choosing it like going from secondary school choosing what sixth form you want or choosing what uni you want You don't have as much like independence in like navigating what I'm actually going to do next. Do you get what I'm saying? The next step is primary that the next step is secondary school like

Gloria (1:12:09)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that.

Hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Fatima (1:12:15)

you have no other choice. You go out and meet Well the next step

is some sort of education after that. You have no other choice. And when you get to this stage, it's kind of like, now all of a sudden you're just given this kind of like choice, but then you don't realize you have that choice because everyone's kind of told you this is what the next step is. And now you're just following that. No one's really been taught to listen to like, you know, their own knowing.

Gloria (1:12:34)

Mmm.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Fatima (1:12:45)

I know

what next, you know?

Gloria (1:12:48)

Yeah, yeah, I relate to that. Because like, I feel like for other careers, there's so many routes to a career that you don't necessarily always need to go to uni. Like some things you definitely need a degree. But there's so many routes to get to so many things in life that you don't always have to take the conventional route of uni. But like, for me, I'm studying nutrition now and I want to be a dietician. So I need a degree and I can do that through uni or

Fatima (1:13:00)

Yeah.

Gloria (1:13:17)

a degree apprenticeship. But yeah, it's okay to take unconventional routes.

Fatima (1:13:19)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

100 % I Gloria is there anything on your mind that you just wanna like hash out?

Gloria (1:13:32)

⁓ You know, I'd say just do what you want to do in life. Don't wait for anyone. Don't feel ashamed. Just go out there and be the best you can be and give it your all. And if something doesn't work out, it's okay. And it's not the end of the world. And you can get back up again.

Fatima (1:13:50)

Mm-hmm, literally. Look at you being super motivational. ⁓ that was so cute. Bless your heart. Because now you stole it. Because I was supposed to ask you, what's your message to all the girls out there?

Gloria (1:14:02)

⁓ sorry. Sorry girls.

Fatima (1:14:05)

It's fine, don't worry. I'm gonna ask you again anyway. message. To all the girls out there listening. Yeah? If you could leave all of them with one message, what would that message be?

Gloria (1:14:19)

I'd say be the best you can be. Be the best you can be and put yourself out there. Put yourself in situations that might seem hard because you don't know, you might actually get through it. And if you don't get through it, it's okay. You can get back up again and try again.

Fatima (1:14:36)

Slay I loved that. Thank you Gloria. Thank you for today. We've been long overdue. just been... Our replies have been not the best. But yeah, I'm super... I'm blessed. I'm happy that I've had you on and that we've had it today. It's been fun. How do you find that?

Gloria (1:14:37)

Thank you.

Thank you for having me.

Yeah.

Me too.

It was really nice talking to you again. I thought I'd be a lot more nervous, but it's like, it really does feel like having a conversation with a friend, which is what it is. But yeah, it was so nice. It was like a mini therapy session or like a catch up session. But yeah.

Fatima (1:15:14)

Anyway guys, thank you. you this week. Bye

Gloria (1:15:17)

Thank you.