Episode 11 | Mitch & Jenna

Mitch and Jenna from Mitch and Jenna Weddings discuss their journey as wedding officiants and planners. They emphasize the importance of prioritizing the ceremony and the couple's relationship. They share tips for officiants, such as being prepared, creating a personal connection with the couple, and paying attention to details like microphone placement. They also provide advice for couples, including considering the heat during outdoor ceremonies and finding ways to honor family members in the ceremony. In this conversation, the hosts discuss the importance of planning and executing a smooth wedding ceremony. They talk about the role of a planner or day-of coordinator in ensuring that the ceremony runs smoothly and offer tips for couples on what to ask when booking a venue. They also discuss the topic of rehearsals and share their perspectives as an officiant and a planner. The hosts emphasize the importance of knowing where to start and end during the ceremony and provide insights on how to handle rehearsals effectively. They also touch on the role of coaching in wedding planning and marriage, highlighting the value of having a support system and resources to navigate the challenges of marriage. The hosts share their own experiences and offer advice on building trust and managing relationships with parents and other stakeholders involved in the wedding planning process. They also discuss the significance of weather and share a memorable experience of a rainy outdoor ceremony. Overall, the conversation emphasizes the importance of teamwork, communication, and support in creating a memorable and successful wedding day.

This episode is powered by Mitch & Jenna Weddings and Two Birds Event Group. Special thanks to members Milwaukee Flower Co., Linen Effects, Continental Diamond, Warpaint International.

Transcript

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Welcome to Wedding Day podcast with your host Sonja Babich, CEO of Iron Diamond Media, a leading wedding resource featuring seven localized wedding brands across the country and Dan Riggs, photography and videography expert and founder of Summit Hill Studios. Come along as they travel from state to state to connect with the most creative and well -respected professionals in the wedding industry. Every episode will arm you with the hottest new trends, wedding day tips and details, and they'll show you all the joys of planning your perfect wedding day.

Hi, I'm Jenna Culley, owner of LinenFX Minneapolis. I bet I can guess the third thing you did after getting engaged. Number one, you called family and friends to share the good news. Number two, you started a Pinterest board. Number three, you realized that you have no idea how to bring that Pinterest board to life. That's where we come in. Let the design experts at LinenFX take your ideas and bring them into reality. We have everything, including floor -length linens, charger plates, table settings, centerpieces, candles,

pretty chairs, lounge furniture sets, and more to make your event picture perfect. Go to our website at lineneffects .com to schedule your appointment today. That's lineneffects .com and see your Pinterest board come to life. Welcome to Wedding Day podcast. We are in Milwaukee today. We have Mitch and Jenna from Mitch and Jenna Weddings. And we're talking about planning. We're talking about officiating, not the NFL football games, but weddings, right? Right.

Okay, we're so happy to have you on the show today. Thank you. Yeah, we're so happy to be here. So excited to be here. Thanks for having us. Yeah, tell us a little bit about yourselves. We started this over 11 years ago. I graduated college from UW Madison and got asked to lead a youth group in a small town called West Bend. Never wanted to be in ministry. I always knew I wanted to do what I'm doing now, which is firefighting. But because of that initial job, I got connected with couples who were having

weddings and because of my affiliation with the church, they asked if I would do their ceremony and I had a blast, absolute blast and Jenna would come and she would be my date and we would stay for the dinner and dancing and get a babysitter. And as we would attend the reception, we would dream about how this could grow and become something else because we were having so much fun celebrating people's relationship and their love and their vows to each other and.

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Next thing you know, people who I didn't know were asking me to do their wedding and I had to decide, I, I'm going to charge for this now because initially it wasn't a business. It was just something I was doing for friends and family. And here we are 10 years later, we're meeting new couples every week and learning their love stories and getting the honor of being a part of the biggest day of their lives up until this point. then Jenna decided that she was going to join us as our lead wedding planner. Yeah. So I would always join him at the weddings as his date, his own official date,

And because I didn't know anyone else at the weddings, there was always things that were left unattended to or just not thought of. And so I'll never forget, there was one wedding where the bride had no one to open the doors for her to walk down the aisle. And so I am just randomly standing back there as the officiants plus one. So I'm the stranger opening the door for someone to walk down the aisle on the biggest day of their life. And it was that moment that I was like, okay, I think this might be fun to do. Let's give it a show. You know what? There's people like you in the wedding industry.

I work with them every single weekend, right? There's people like you that are just helping. And I do the same thing. I love to help. So if I'm not filming at that moment, I'll grab candles. Like, I'll help flip a room. I don't care if I have time to do that. So that's really good that you were able to kind of... That was always one my favorite moments. It the fluffing of the dress or opening the door is a big reveal. Because it is a big reveal. We were just talking with Christina and picking the dress and everything. And that's your moment to be like, and here I

Your princess moment. But also, who's most important is at the end of the aisle, right? I love to tap more about that. So when you are starting that officiating journey with them, how do you start that process when you, like, especially inquiry, like, what is the big things that you look for when you're starting that conversation with them? And are you the right couple for me, probably, as an officiant as well?

We interview as much as they're interviewing us, right? Absolutely. So what do you start that process with? How does that look like? We realize that our niche is with couples that want to prioritize their ceremony or that means something to them. There are a group of couples out there who just want to get to the party and that's okay. They're paying a lot of money for it and a lot of planning goes into that party. But the couple that works best with us is the couple that says we really care about our ceremony.

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and that we jump on that couple and say, you're ours. You're our couple. You're our kind of people because we've always said that while your wedding day is vitally important to us, we're going to make it a huge success. You're in good hands with our planning team. You're in good hands with our officiating team. But ultimately we care so much more about your marriage because that's what's going to last after your wedding day. And that's what we're cheering for.

That's what we're supporting is your marriage and the foundation of the relationship that you guys have built. And when couples hear that, then they go, okay, you're my officiant. You you're my guy or your team is who we want to work with because they get excited to be married because they're going to be working with other people that are also excited about marriage. That's a great point. Yeah. Or the opposite happens. There's somebody who wants a five minute ceremony and they're like, yep, sorry, Mitch, Jenna. Yeah. We're not going to work. Yeah. That's so, that's so good. So how do you go through that? Like, how do you find these couple? How do they find

Do they come to your website? Do they? Yeah, we have our website. We use Wisconsin Bride, which our membership with them gets us so much access to the magazine. People come to different events and they see that, or they see us on the Wisconsin Bride website. They can find us on a couple different vendor inquiries out there. And then Instagram. I've been growing a huge following on Instagram. I say huge, but small town Wisconsin, huge for me is a couple thousand people to see. They want to see me

who I am talking about what's important about a wedding or tips and tricks. Like if you're an officiant or if you're searching for one, don't stand behind the couple for the kiss, stuff like that. That all of a now that helps them, it gives them advice and they find out who we are. I know, like I love that your Instagram is like coaching. Yeah. Right. And giving those pointers and those planning tips too. Cause a lot of times, you know, when you're wedding planning, you're thinking about the party.

But at the end of the day, it's all about the couple getting married, right? And sometimes that gets away from the focus. You have to really draw that in. So when you work with the couple, what's the step process with creating their ceremony, celebrating their love story? How do you go along with those guidelines, I guess? Yeah, the first thing that we do is get that story because that's the one unique thing about their day is celebrating their relationship. That's the whole reason that everybody's gathered and has come.

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from all different parts of the country to see their ceremony. And so if I'm new to them, I want to be able to stand up there as though I was someone that they've known for a really long time. So how do I do that? you're so great. I don't want to But that's strange. That's a thing though. I'm a videographer. can tell right away when they've just hired somebody who they're like, yeah, yeah, let's just get this marriage thing done.

and there's no personal connection. You can tell when the officiant's speaking. There's almost like this aura bubble when they know the officiant and be like, I tell the cop, are we ready? Yeah. Ready to do this? Yeah. Okay, let's You have a soothing voice too, man. You just be like, all right, are we ready? And they'll be like, yeah. He can turn his charm on and get grandmas, moms, aunts, anybody that is the nervous person in the family just calms them down and they walk away with like, because you're the best. Two things really quick. The first

A couple's goal should be when they work with an officiant that they haven't met before and they're getting to know through the planning process is at the cocktail hour, will the family and friends come up to the couple and say, how long have you known the officiant? Because we're going to make it seem as though we've really known each other for a long time, right? So that's always my goal when I tell the couples what we're going for is that people are going to really think that we've started a friendship here. And

jokes on them, we really have started a friendship and we become friends and we send them Christmas cards and follow their lives and lot of our couples are having kids now. so. Yeah, that's super fun to watch their families grow and to just stay in touch. Yeah, and run into them in the grocery store too. It's one of my favorites. So what are some red flags when selecting an officiant that like you that you notice and see when selecting one, you know, what would you call out to engage couples like, beware of this? I hate that they exist. They really do.

because I think anyone assumes that you can stand up there with a microphone and perform a wedding ceremony. But number one, if they don't have a website or even like a Facebook page, they're probably not taking it seriously. I don't know if that's an accurate assessment of if they're reliable or not, but it's a red flag to me that they probably don't have a lot of experience under their belt. So if you don't have a way to vet

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their experience, that's a red flag. So if they're not a pastor, if they're not a priest, or if they don't have some kind of platform that they're choosing to showcase the work that they've done in the past, that would be a red flag to me. Because one thing no officiant can trade is their experience. And that's, I think, what sets me and others that have been doing this a long time apart from those who decide they can just go and get ordained.

online and do a wedding ceremony, which you can, but there's so much more to consider when you build out a ceremony for a couple if you want it to really be good for them and just getting that online ordination. And I think that just comes with experience. a video standpoint, too, when you were talking about, you know, get out of the picture for the for the photography, there's a lot of these little little nuances throughout the ceremony that an inexperienced officiant would not know. The other thing is, and it drives me crazy when I'm when I'm editing the video.

is the officiant will repeat after me and they talk into the microphone and they're talking to the guests and then they give the microphone to the couple or they don't give the microphone to the couple. One of those two things, one of the things that I love is when the officiant holds the mic in front of their faces, because obviously you wanna get that really good pro audio for the video.

Yeah, or they're holding you know their vows or they're holding something in their hands I don't want to have to try to and they're shaking you know a lot of times they're shaking yeah, so an inexperienced officiant is not going to know to a Hold the mic away from your mouth when you're reading we don't we don't need to hear you reading the same thing You know just you're basically just talking to the couple at that point and then I get it yeah Yeah, and then and then B You know are you putting the microphone in front of their mouths so

everyone else can hear them and so that it's great, really clear audio for the video and that shouldn't be taken for granted that a great officiant knows those little nuances. Yeah, another nuance that I was gonna bring up before and I'll say now is when that nervousness comes that you'd mentioned before, I like to break couples from that. So as an experienced officiant, I'm not worried about what I'm gonna say because I'm prepared. I've done it a hundred times and

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I kind of set the stage for them of how they should feel, is, yes, you're dressed up. Yes, this is a formal event, but really think about it. You're surrounded by all of your closest family and friends. You're not giving, you know, a dissertation or something, you know, like your college, you know, final paper speech. So I'll actually step out in front of the couple and kind of break formation for a second. And I'll say, breathe. You made it. You got to this point, right? This is what it's all about. And now.

You're focused on each other, which you should be. He's like, wow, she looks beautiful, right? And I tell him, that's great. You'll get to look at her the rest of the night. But for just a second, look out here at all of these family members and friends who traveled from so far to here with you. And they chose to be Chose to be here to support They could have said no on the RSVP, but they said yes. I want to celebrate their love story with them today. So that moment gives them that chance to just breathe.

center themselves, realize what they're doing. Their backs are to their wedding party, so I always tell them to turn their neck and she picked out those dresses and the color and the flowers and so before you only see it in a photo, see it right now in real time. And groomsmen, to the groom, turn and look at your groomsmen and say, to those guys that you spent life with, right? And that allows us to just get back before the ceremony starts and

be aware of what's happening before you miss it. And as a nuance, like you said, Dan, I think you don't know that unless you've been to enough ceremonies where you walk away and you're like, something was missing about that ceremony. Even as a venue, being a past venue coordinator, when a great officiant came, it was a game changer. It also said a presence like I got the ceremony is under control. I'm prepared. I'm prepped. You can tell when somebody's not prepared and prepped. The officiant.

And one of my favorite moments, and I hope he's listening in, but he came up and he went up to the bride. He walked all the way, because you know, the Fischian's one of the first people to walk down the aisle, right, to set the tone. I always say the Fischian is saying the show's starting. Everybody sit down, relax, we're doing this, right? Absolutely. But before he walked out of the door, I had a long pill to the ceremony site. He went back all the way to the bride and said, you got this? And like gave her like, because she obviously was a little nervous and he could sense that. goes, I'm ready. And I was like,

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That's a good dude. That final check -in just before the show starts, let's just make sure we're on the same page and we're ready to go. Yeah, because that's an emotion. It's your one day, right? And he's got to just be like, it's your turn to get married. I always would say that it's pinch yourself when you're driving to the rehearsal. You're showing off your hair and makeup. Pinch yourself, because sometimes you're like.

It's my turn. Especially when you're the third sister. Yes, I do. You know, so it's just amazing that you care about those little touches. And I love that you brought Jenna into the mix now because now those little touches are going to be covered from head to toe. Head to toe. Yeah. And that's our favorite when we get to do a wedding together because we get to connect on the husband -wife relationship. We get to connect on the beginning of a marriage, starting it off with the wedding day and just building trust

were the right people to be there. I love that. think that's such an added bonus to be a married couple, especially the emotional side of the day, which is the ceremony, the powerful moment. And then for you just to continue that moment on to the rest of the day. So tell us how you bring that into your business, your team. Yeah, absolutely. So we have a very casual approach with our couples. We're

stuffy, formal, we're relaxed with our couples and they know that about us. So when they meet with us, they feel that. And that's part of the goal is to just be friends with them so that they communicate in a way that is like they're talking to their sister or their mom or their maid of honor. And then also to just really stress to them every time we meet and talk that we genuinely and truly mean it when we say your marriage is more important than your wedding. And so every time we meet, every time we talk, we're going to ask you, how's your relationship?

and are you guys doing okay because there's no point in planning all this if you get to the wedding day and you walk to the ceremony site and you forget why you're there and you forget the reasons you said yes to marrying this man. And I think that's what makes you stand out from other planners or other officiants is you actually care after the ceremony after the wedding day. I mean you're in contact with your couples what forever? Yeah I mean just today we got a message from a couple it was so perfectly timed

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Literally got a message today from a couple who she said, hey, I just felt compelled to tell you that I was talking about my spouse at work and someone commented that I always speak so kindly about him. And she said, I'll never forget that that's one of the things we walked away after our meetings with you guys is that you said, even if they're in the room or not, always speak highly of them because it's a compliment that some way somehow is going to get back to them. so it was just really cool. It was five years ago. They're celebrating their fifth wedding anniversary

still have those messages come back that even though we have our own flaws in marriage and we're by no means perfect in doing this 100 % accurately, there's still some tips and advice we can share and help others along in the world of weddings. So we talked about a couple tips. What was it? Don't put the microphone in front of somebody's face. Right. They don't want to hear the officiant. They want to hear the couple. Right. Do you have any other great tips for up and coming officiants or for couples who maybe

want to know what to ask because not everyone can hire you. Someone in California can they can but they you know likely won't. they will. I'm saying I'm saying every single couple in the world can't possibly hire you. So do you have any tips like things that our couples should ask their officiant to just to make sure that they kind of know what they're doing. First I always suggest to summer brising rooms to be prepared for the heat.

If you're gonna get married outside even in Wisconsin Lake Geneva can get a bolstering 90 degrees And the guys are out there in tuxedos and you are going to be drenched So one tip I always give to the groom and the groom's men's beforehand is bring an extra shirt on the day of the wedding because if we're doing that outside ceremony Which you should because it's gonna be gorgeous. Just be prepared to be hot now We're not gonna be up there forever, but you are gonna sweat

I also suggest that you have like a pocket handkerchief that you can use to dab the sweat. I have been in ceremonies before where I am dripping on the microphone and it is so uncomfortable, but you get through it. But then when I know it, I am that hot, right? The groom is that hot, the bride is that hot. And so I try to speed through the ceremony, but then if they have something there, you know, to wipe their brow. And it's not a Kleenex because Kleenex will leave all the residue. There's the planner. see? That's a good tip.

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My thing was sunglasses. I know, again, it's up to a couple's preferences. Wait, during the ceremony? Yes. I will slap some sunglasses right off your head. I know. I have a story about sunglasses with another podcast, but that is one thing to remind, take off the sunglasses because of wedding photos. It's mainly for wedding photos. And again, asking the question, where is the sun setting that day? Where is it going to be at the time of when you're getting married?

As well, that's a big planning thing. It is, absolutely. Or what's important to the couple if they want to do a sunset wedding. Yeah. Are you looking into it? Are you looking away from it? Are you looking into it away from it? Or that's going to affect dinner time. Or it is going to be dinner time at six, so we might need a chup -chup -chup after and how long do we want the ceremony to last? All right.

Another tip I would give is to consider the relationship you have with your family. Do you have a close relationship with your parents and how can you honor them in the ceremony? Because who gets the spotlight? It's the father of the bride, right? If he's in the picture. But does the mother of the bride get, you know, any attention in the ceremony? Do the groom's parents get any attention? And not that it's about them, right? It's about the bride and the groom. But if you have a close relationship with your parents, those couples often want to honor.

their family members and so there are ways you can do that as an efficient if you've seen these examples done before that you can coach them on how to bring a little bit of personality, little bit of family values into a ceremony and make those key people in your lives, mom and dad, feel really armed. One of the other ways that I try to include everyone because you're right

you know, mom might feel like Chop Lib or Mother of the Bride because she doesn't, you know, there's no mother bride dance. You can have one and that'd be kind of cool if you did, but there usually isn't. what I - people that? Yeah, you can do anything you want. That's what I love about weddings now. There are no rules, but you know, I always encourage for first looks, I encourage a first look with the dad. I encourage first look with all your key family members, all those people, because what that tells them is you are important enough for me to take a moment out of the day.

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to recognize you, for you to be one of the very first people to see what I look like in this dress that took me months and months to pick out and to purchase. So that's a really good way to honor your key family members to our additional first looks. I love it. And I'll speak to videography for just a second, because it is so powerful, is that when you have those moments with key family members, they are memories that you get to look back on now forever. And a picture does say.

know, a thousand words, then video says a million words and to capture what that first look was with dad or with mom. Their voice. So man, video in that way is so powerful. love that idea. know. like even your, we all know our voices are going to eat with us too. Right. Absolutely. And just to hear the youthful voice and when you're 90 years old, hearing your sweet voice, like, but it brings you back. And kids say, look at grandma on your wedding day or look at grandpa on your wedding. They look, they look so different. Right.

Yeah, it's really good. So part of the planning with, you know, the ceremony, where do you see a big thing that is missing or you make sure that is covered when executing the bridal party? sometimes wedding venues don't include a coordinator to help get down the aisle. And then it's just like, again, the ceremony kicks off the show. Yes. So we always start with pockets, right? Like such a simple thing, but like, your pockets empty? No keys, no phones, no wallets. And do we have the rings?

We need those rings for the ceremony, if you have Mitch, he's gonna make sure that they're there, but for the weddings I do that he's not a part of, we need to make sure we have those rings, so that's important. And then when we decide who's walking the bride down the aisle and we decide ahead of time who's sitting where, because unfortunately, the reality is so many people come from split families, and so we have to navigate who is sitting where and what side are they sitting on, and do we have enough chairs in the front row to honor everybody that needs to get

prime seat and so walking through all of the details of our kids on an aisle. Is there a person to take the crying baby out? All of the little things that go into keeping a ceremony running smoothly without causing a commotion. Yeah, because a lot like I said, a lot of venues don't have that almost like church lady. exactly.

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Yeah, so that's how we said part of my job description. I'm the church lady here to help cue each one to walk down the aisle, right, to make sure the gap is perfect. So that's a good question to ask when you book a venue. Is there somebody that helps me with the ceremony? Because that's another reason to have a planner to help execute that portion of it and maybe book your planner or day of coordinator to help with the execution too. So of course, with planning and the ceremony, how do you feel about rehearsals? It's a good question.

this is good. This is a hot topic. I'm so glad you asked this question I'll speak from the efficient standpoint and that I'll let you speak from the planner's and I wish you say mine Yes, as the efficient I will do anything I can to be there if it's a make or break for the couple But I will coach them that it's not necessary for me to be

Usually because if you're working with a planner or you have that church lady from the venue to let you know where you're walking from, who you're walking with, and where to start or where to finish. I walk to the same spot every wedding. So I know where I'm going to stand. It's clear where you're going to go. do you do rehearsals? And I tell them no, because I don't want you to have to arrange for me to be there one more night. And no one has ever asked me in the history of doing weddings

do the vows the night of the rehearsal, because it's taboo. So we don't actually rehearse anything. It's just standing and walking. So I've been coaching couples away from the traditional rehearsal. Love it. And encouraging them to just still have the dinner, get your family there. And now when it's not a 430 start rehearsal, people don't have to rush from work or get an earlier flight. And it's a little bit more relaxed. But what would you

I think it's important for the bridal party to know where they're starting from and where they're ending. And beyond that, the rest of it is going to happen the way it's going to happen when you have someone experienced who knows how to lead them through the ceremony. So whether that is the day of the ceremony and you have a 5 p .m. and you have time during the day and getting ready to just go and figure out where you're standing and where you're walking from, I'm still going to be there to send you down the aisle because even if I tell you when to walk and how fast to walk, you're going to forget.

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The take in and you're gonna say when do I go and I'm gonna have to you in anyway So the point is that yes, it's important to know where you start from and where you end But generally we can do that even when you end there'll be groomsmen that'll walk up and they're you know bless their hearts But they're not standing anywhere close to where they should be. So I'll just kind of sneak over And the girls are the meticulous ones They want to make sure their heels are in exactly the right spot. Their shoulders are aligned and the guys are Sometimes you get the lucky

that pay attention. takes it seriously, but not always. I would say, Stanley, you're singing the third grade choir concert. Yeah. And they knew what I was talking about. One rule we have for them as far as like formation or etiquette is just have your shoulders follow the bride, right? So you're watching the bride walk in and then everyone bridesmaids and groomsmen as she moves up toward the groom, you just follow with your shoulders. When they do the unity candle or the sand or the tree or however they do.

You follow where they go, and then you follow when they come back. And the other thing with rehearsals is that so many venues are booking weddings Friday, Saturday, Sunday, so you can't even have your rehearsal. You cannot, you're actually gonna get married. Doing it at a restaurant, well, great, it tells people what order they're walking in, doesn't solve the problem of where do I start. 90 % of my weddings happened on site. 90 % out of about

I was just, it's amazing, right? Oh, the ceremonies? ceremonies. 90 % of the ceremonies happen with my couples having their receptions there. Well, you were at a golf course too. mean, that's kind of, you know, there's a lot of different great places to do But a lot of it's going away from the traditional church service. It's now being on site because it's turnkey easier and keeps your guests easier, timeline easier, not transporting as much, right? But that's when another logistic thing is if you got married offsite and then going. But I totally agree with the rehearsal. Actually, I would do

one at the final meeting with the couples, and usually the parents were at that final meeting. That's great. Because the parents are the ones that are really about the ceremony too. Yes. So all the questions come out at that time, and we practice a little walkthrough. Again, without the officiant, this is how you walk up, and this is how you exit, and this is where you're going to sit, and this is where you're to sit. And they go, I feel so much better. And then on the day of, when they're taking their wedding photos, I go, OK, bridal party, hour and a half before.

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Let's walk it quick. This is where you walk. Stand, exit. Now go hide. I guess you're coming soon. That's really the only way I've ever seen it done. I've never actually been a part of a rehearsal dinner that happened beforehand. And maybe people are confused. Like maybe it's just been called rehearsal dinner for so long that they think they have to have a rehearsal. But it's really like groom's dinner, isn't it? I mean, is that the same thing? Yeah. Traditionally, you're... Yeah. Partners dinner, groom's dinner, partner dinner. Correct. Yeah. Absolutely.

The groom's family would host the rehearsal dinner and pay for that when you weren't doing it. Right. Yeah. And then bride's the day of. If you are going to have a rehearsal, if you have a planner or someone at the venue that's going to run one for you, the suggestion I would give you is to start at the end, have everybody lined up in the places they're going to stand when you start the rehearsal and then have them recess first. Because

They get to the back of the church or the venue or wherever you're having it. You already know where your mark is. And so then you just practice one more processional to get to the place you were just standing a second ago and you're done. Right. And I say you don't even have a rehearsal that day and just have the dinner. The dinner is still great because it brings everybody together, gets everybody connected. Because again, questions start popping up again. Just kind of check in and did everybody make it safe?

and let's start the kickoff, because they're your foundation who's at the rehearsal dinner. Those are your BFFs, family. Storytelling. Yeah, storytelling too. But it's like, okay, let's have this dinner, let's celebrate, and let's rock tomorrow together. That's it. So when you're doing the process of planning the wedding day as officiating or planning and the coaching that you've mentioned before, what does that look like? It's an interesting question because we

really seen it anywhere, so we're not necessarily modeling it after anybody. This was born out of the desire that we wish we would have had somebody early on in our wedding, or excuse our marriage, that they could have helped us, held our hand along the way. And now we've built this relationship with these couples and we care about them now.

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And so we don't want them to go through some of the hardships that we went through if we can help maybe get them through those things a little bit faster. And so it looks like us sharing our lives with them, one married couple to another, and we're not counselors, we're not therapists, this isn't, how does that make you feel? It's just, yeah, we had that happen to us, and here's how we talked through it and how we got over that.

They just get to know our story a little bit more because we've gotten to know their story throughout the whole wedding planning process that then when we get to insert ourselves a little bit, it gives them peace of mind that they're not alone, that every marriage struggles, whether you're going through the honeymoon season or you've been married going on 13 years and you have three kids and you have no time to go on dates anymore. They need to know that they're not on this island and that there are other people that can relate to them and say, you're gonna be fine. Here are some things that you could do to just.

make it little easier on yourself. Forgive me. Are we friends now? Absolutely. In this situation? Like are we? So I got you married, you officiated my wedding, right? Yeah. Okay, and I want to give you a call six months from now and I want to be like, I'm so mad. She never picks up her laundry. what? It's always like, do I got to pay you? Do I got to like send you? Do I Venmo you

10 bucks for that phone call? Like how does that work? So the friendship always, that's a great question. The friendship always lasts. We will have conversations like the text that Jenna shared with couples that we've known for a long time. But if someone comes to us and says, I really want to work on my marriage. I want to put some skin in the game. Then for that purpose, it's a service now where we're not just going to sit casually in front of the computer screen.

we're gonna put some work into because we're gonna bring all of our experience, all of the things we've gone through, hardships and mountaintops and try to come up with a game plan for that couple so that they walk away feeling like we cared, we spent some time, we brought some tips and tricks to the table and a little bit more formal than just a cup of coffee at Starbucks so that they too can feel like, right, I paid for a service which was the marriage coaching but I got so much out of

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When we went through actual counseling, that was a huge deal for us to feel like it was a paid service that we had to show up for and we had to have. Yeah, there's skin in the game, right? Like you're willing to put forward some effort to show that this matters to you and you want and you're expecting resources and tools to help you become a better version of yourself individually and in your marriage. But because there's that friendship, there's a level of comfort that doesn't exist with a stranger who's a counselor or a therapist.

and you know going into it, I'm just gonna hear more about their marriage, because genuinely just wanna know, have you experienced this before and what'd you do to get through it? And trust is so crucial to marriage, but it's crucial to the supporting role that we play when we do coaching with couples. The trust has been built because we've had a relationship with in the past, and so it's easy to kind of go to that deeper level quicker because that's been established. Well, and you were there from day one. I mean, day one of their marriage, you were theirs.

doing your officiating and you were there doing the planning. I mean, yeah, that's what... A friend of mine just said, you're the one service industry I can think of that doesn't want to repeat customers. Yeah. And I say, yeah, I see what you're saying. I would agree. We want people to have lifelong marriages that are full, filled with love and joy. And to have someone from day one that is cheering for them, that can be an example of a marriage

is lasting and will last. We want marriages to be encouraged by that. The culture surrounding marriage does not suggest that marriage is the greatest adventure that you'll ever go on. But I disagree. think it is the greatest adventure that you will ever embark on. And it is so incredibly hard to be married. Boy, you ain't lyin'. Right, but it is so incredibly worth it when you spend.

your life with somebody and you get to know them at the level that we have all been married, know, multiple years, you'll never find that again. And then you add kids into the mix and the tool, I say tool because marriage can be used outside of your own home to affect your workplace, your community, your kid's life, the friends of your kids. When they come over to the house to play, the environment that you create in your home, it is a bedrock, right?

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We want to continue to speak those kind of words over marriage and what it means to be married and how powerful your marriage can be as a testimony to everyone around you in your lives. And when they look at you, they think, what is it about you that clicks? Because there's something inside of me that wants what you have. That's what marriage is. And if our couples hear that either while we're going through the wedding planning process or during the coaching process,

They're excited. You know, they see this great grand adventure ahead of them that they're like, I want to go on that. When couples are so in tune with each other, actually tracks the hang out with other couples that are so in tune with each other. It's kind of like businesses too. Achievers want to hang out with achievers. So it's like, that's who you want to work with too on your wedding day is couples that are going to appreciate the value of who they're working with on their wedding day too. Leading into that is with couples selecting you.

Do you feel like they're looking for that coaching along the way? I think they often get to a point where they didn't know they were looking for it, but they end up figuring out that that's what they want. Especially the interviewing process. you don't know what you don't know, right? Like most people don't enter into their wedding planning season saying like, think I want a marriage culture. I think this mountaintop I'm on planning the best day of my life.

I'm gonna have some struggles day one of marriage. You know, we're heading into our honeymoon, but there's probably some fight or argument we're gonna have. we wanna be those people that they can turn to and know that we have resources and that's normal. Marriage is going to have ups and downs. We all, all of us who've been married know that it's inevitable they're going to happen. And so we just really wanna be available to help people navigate that better and to identify some of those red flags before they become.

really significant mountains. Wedding planning process and again deaf -wing coaching is the foundation of your business too, right? And that mentoring and holding their hand. So when a parent or a BFF join them planning process, how do you deal with that when they enter the planning scene? Are you welcoming to it? Are you like, mom, I kind of want you to sit out on this meeting. Usually I welcome it because the reality is they're not going to go away. Even if you tell them to sit out on it, right? They're going to be badgering.

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the bride or the groom or whoever shows up on that call after you can get done with the call. So they might as well be able to be there on the front end and ask the questions and hear it directly from us because that essentially is building trust, right? We want them to trust us in just the same way that the bride and groom trust us. And if we can establish that, yes, we do actually know what we're talking about. And yes, you are paying us for a service and we're capable of fulfilling the expectations you have, the wedding day is going to go so much better. Because obviously if mom is joining in on the call with

the couple, you know that she's gonna be involved on the wedding day. So I don't. It might as well just break the ice, right? might be hard, but if mom gets one over and she feels comfortable, then the bride is gonna be, you know, more at ease, right? And that's what we're going for. So if there are worries, if there are concerns, let's address those. And like you said, let mom sit in on them, because if it means she's gonna be more comfortable on day.

It usually takes some of the pressure off the bride too to allow the pressure to be on me instead of on her. And so we can do to help them have a stress free experience. So I'm sure you can read like non -verbals as well as your wedding. I'm great at non -verbals. Everybody is one of my secrets. But when you're wedding planning, you're reading those non -verbals and mom's in there and the groom is like, I am not dealing with my future mother -in -law. is not on the same page with us because he's probably protecting his partner. Right. Right.

How do you navigate reading that energy in those meetings? It can be hard. Yeah, it can be hard. But when you remind people what the clear win is, what is our goal? Because at the end of the day, we're all on the same team, right? We all want the same thing for the bride and the groom. Regardless of what your opinions are, let's work toward that. And sometimes that's all it takes is just to recourse correct people to what the end goal is. Because I have yet to hear an argument.

or a difference of opinions that was about something really substantial. So let's table that for a second and let's get back to what matters. We'll circle back around to that because I hear you, right? Sometimes the concerned person just wants to be heard, right? They just want to be validated that I have this concern, usually because they can see it in their head, right? They can conceptualize it, but it's not the day

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So they don't know for sure, is it gonna work out the way that I'm hoping it's gonna work out? So just empathize with that emotion. I hear you, I'm gonna address it, but right now, it's not the biggest thing we have to deal with. We had to take a pre -marriage class before we got married, and that was one of them was, I hear what you're saying. That is what I'm saying. I use it even in work. But we do, we still use it to this day when there's like, we're not on the same page.

I hear what you're saying. You're validating. Yes, I hear what you're saying that you want to go walk the dog right now, but we have to take. But what I'm saying, we got to get the kids out the door. I think part of it, too, is our backgrounds professionally come from high stress, high capacity environments. so what being a firefighter firefighting is that stressful? Not at all. Never. Yeah, we we have this ability to kind of see through the lens that we're at a wedding. It's going to be OK. This is a joyful occasion.

This is not life or death, so I promise we're gonna figure it out. And then we're now running around super stressed either. There might be a lot that we have to do and there have been weddings, as I'm her assistant, right? So I'll do the ceremony and then I'm like, okay, what do you need? And there have been a long list of things that sometimes need to get done, but on the outside, it's like, we got it. It's gonna be fine, you know, because again, from our previous work experiences.

This is a great day. So truly like what could go wrong? So what could go wrong in course is weather, right? How many times have you married couples in their rain? One most memorable time. It's been more than once, but the first time that it happened was probably one of our favorite memories of the last five years. It was at the Eloise in Madison near Wisconsin. venue. venue. Great people and great owners. I'm driving

Madison from Milwaukee thinking God just open the skies just a teeny tiny little bit because there was no chance in sight that it was gonna be sunny for the wedding. You know that the couple are their dream is to get married outside or is set on the outdoor ceremony. Yes. So I get there and we're waiting and we're gonna play the wait game until this little blip on the radar shows that there's no rain for five minutes.

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And Jenna's holding the wedding party back and now the guests are getting anxious inside the reception space. And so we make an announcement. We're hoping for an outdoor ceremony. Please be patient. that's so nice. I love that. the sky's stone part, the rain continues to come down and the bride says, I want to go for it. my gosh. Good for her. She says, I don't care if it's raining. I want to marry my best friend. Like, we're ready to do this. Let's go. And so it was

Okay, if this isn't about this picture perfect moment, it's that I wanted to marry my best friend and this is the plan we had. So let's just do it. It's so romantic. It's so sweet home Alabama when she finds on the beach, right? Yeah. So I can kiss you anytime I want. Yeah. So, so did she make all the guests come out there? Yeah. see that's for her. I'm like, well, no, she's just probably yes. Yeah.

The vendors were on board. had a plan to cover the DJ. Jenna's holding a server's tray over the photographer's head. Shout out to Blue Play Catering because they gave me their serving tray. We had no more umbrellas. We had given them out to death. David's just a winner. And my favorite part of all, there's like an upper floor at the Eloise, which is where the wedding party was.

And at the announcement, I was standing on the stairs making the announcement that the wedding was gonna happen and it was gonna be outside and the wedding party erupts in cheers and now the whole mood just changes, right? Because instead of, we're gonna have to sit in the rain. Now the wedding party's like, let's go, this is gonna be awesome. And I looked at those guys and I just thought, you are spot on, way to go, way to support your friends. Yeah, and the right people's around.

And that's important when you select that wedding. Yeah, they gotta go along with the ride. One, even just a testament to the vendor team that they had selected. Wiping down shares. The was up for it. Like I said, the catering was out there using their dish towels to help us dry seats. Like everybody was on board. And the pictures were unbelievable. I bet big fat raindrops coming down. it's so beautiful. That's their story. It is. And they love it. And they own it. And it's great. And the sun came out five minutes after the ceremony. Of course it did.

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Absolutely, of course it did that was somebody saying hello. Yeah, that was somebody saying hello. Well, this has been so fun you two Thank you so much for joining us today We just learned so much about love and coaching and Just also just seeing you to be a team and that you get to be a part of another team Which is a married couple, you know planning their day. Thank you. Super great Thanks for tuning in to wedding day podcast If you're listening on Spotify, make sure you check us out on YouTube as well at wedding day podcast on all the socials

You want to see Mitch and you want to see Jenna's faces You probably already knows what ours look like but go check this out on YouTube If you're watching on YouTube, you can also listen in the car or wherever you get your podcasts on Apple podcast Or Spotify or Google or wherever that may be and it's a live on all seven wedding websites as well Well, thanks for tuning in. We'll see you next time