How Do You Avoid Awkward, Posed Wedding Photos? A Photographer’s Honest Advice | WDP Ep 74

🎧 Listen to learn:

• Why some wedding photos feel awkward or staged—and how to avoid it
• How photographers help couples feel natural and comfortable in front of the camera
• The key to getting candid, emotional photos that actually feel like you
• Why connection with your photographer matters more than poses or shot lists
• How to use Pinterest inspiration without losing authenticity
• What to look for (and avoid) when choosing your wedding photographer

In this episode of Wedding Day Podcast, host Sonja Babich, CEO of Iron Diamond Media, and co-host Brooke Beise, Publisher of Minnesota Bride, sit down with Laura Alpizar, founder and photographer behind Laura Alpizar Photography, a Minneapolis-based wedding photography brand known for its timeless, emotionally driven imagery.

Laura shares how she has built her business around connection and authenticity, using her decade of experience to create a photography approach that goes far beyond posed images. The conversation explores how her work focuses on capturing real, in-the-moment emotions while balancing an editorial eye—resulting in photos that feel both natural and elevated.

The episode also dives into one of the most common concerns couples face: how to avoid awkward, overly posed wedding photos. Laura explains how she builds trust with couples from the very first consultation, helping them feel comfortable enough to be themselves in front of the camera. She also shares how to navigate Pinterest inspiration without losing authenticity, how much direction couples actually need and what to expect from a photographer on the wedding day.

From reading relationship dynamics to acting as a calming presence throughout the celebration, Laura highlights the often-overlooked role photographers play in shaping the wedding day experience. This conversation offers practical, thoughtful advice for couples looking to choose a photographer who not only captures beautiful images—but creates an experience that feels natural, supportive and true to who they are.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Wedding Day Podcast with your host, Sonia Babbitt, CEO of Iron Diamond Media, a leading wedding resource featuring seven localized wedding brands across the country. Hi everybody, Sonia here with Wedding Day Podcast. We're here in Minnesota in Stillwater, Minnesota, at Summer Hill Studios. And my co-host today is Brooke Vice, publisher of Minnesota Bride. And we're here with Lara, Alphasar Photography. She, I just can't wait for you all to meet her. She has such good energy soul and she has been doing photography for over a decade. A long, long time. And her knowledge and wisdom is exactly what we all need today. So I'm so excited that you're here today, Laura. Thank you. That is so beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

I try. I try.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Well, I try to be beautiful because like every pro that comes on here, you know, fills out a form. And so we're ready to rock and roll when you come on. And you're all your like like just what points and like who you are is just so like you feel the emotion in your responses in such a like lighthearted way, if that makes sense. And meaningful. And that you just really truly love what you do and you care for each couple.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

And got that calming presence that you want on the wedding day, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Yeah. I feel like do interview your couples before. I feel like you would.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

Yeah. I want to hear about that.

SPEAKER_02 1:31

Yeah. Yes. I even from the first email, I'm trying to sense the vibes. Because I I want to work with ideal couples that understand uh understand the art and that we are a good mix, a good match. So in the console, I'm always trying to see their interaction. Uh if I only get one partner, then I'm always like, hmm, I want to see how how they get along. And and I think the vibe is a lot, a lot to me. If they only want to talk price or logistics, and I can't get past that wall, I think um sometimes I refer them to somebody else. Because to me, the fact that we are getting along and we are connecting and they're opening up to me, it's a good sign since the consult.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

Yeah. What's a I just have to ask, what's a red flag when you're interviewing them? Oh, if they if only one of them talks.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

Oh, yeah. For me, that's that's for my business as a red flag. Because it's like I don't know, like there is no connection between them and or at least one of them is signing off. For me, it's like, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to be the the best for them if I can't get one of the partners to be excited about the photos and moved by the photos too.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

So interesting you say that. I know when my husband and I got married, it was like the opposite too. I remember leaving an appointment, might have been a cake tasting, and he's like, they did not look in my eyes once, they did not talk to me once, they did not not acknowledge me at all. So it's like the flip side too, you know? When you appreciate being talked to by both of them, they appreciate that too, or at least the couples that you want to work with do, right? I think that's really special. And sometimes one of them might be more introvert.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

Yeah. Yeah. Um, but if we have like a bride and groom situation, and a lot of times people do that, that they will only talk to the bride. And I'm obviously not gonna do that. So I'm always like teasing the one that is introvert. I'd be like, well, it's your turn to talk. Um or can you tell me your opinion? Or I'll try to tease them a little bit into the conversation. I want to make sure they feel included, of course. Uh, but I did have one console once in person before COVID that they were actually like arguing.

SPEAKER_00 3:55

Oh boy. You know, a lot of times wedding professionals are, you know, uh what's the word I'm looking for? Um a therapist or yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

Well you get so let into their world on this very special day that it is important to have that energy with them for that reason. You really get welcomed into their family, right? In a many ways.

SPEAKER_02 4:18

You have to have an emotional awareness of all the energies and dynamics that happen. And I don't want to shame anybody for arguing. Yeah, yeah, right, right. But it was really telling, and and I just think they needed a lot more time before you made a decision on photography or um started interviewing people to figure out what you want first and figure out your budget. Maybe that was a sore topic for them or something.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

That's right, it's always important to talk about the budget before going into the meeting, right? And not in front of the wedding professional. But it's still okay to be candid and talk about it, but you need to know a a little bit about the budget before you have a conversation.

SPEAKER_02 5:00

Yes. I used to walk around it, you know, and now now I'm not, because I want to make sure it's clear. Like, how is this feeling for you? How is how does this feel with your budget that you had in mind? Um, because sometimes one of the partners has the husband, the one that finds me, the other one has no idea or hasn't looked at that, and I want to make sure they're both both informed and they're excited, and I don't have to wait two weeks for them to come in.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Like I'm going into that, like being informed. You talk about like really painting that picture of a real wedding day, like what to really understand or picture, or really like I feel like you help hold their hand more, it sounds like to really embrace the day, right? And not have those surprises. Is that true? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Um I think preparation is the best way before the wedding day, so they know um how I'm gonna be around them. I don't wanna interrupt their day. I don't want them to be like, what do I do now, Laura? Uh I want them to be prepared and ignore me the whole day if they can't. I want I don't wanna interrupt or um manufacture anything the day up. Yeah. So I give them a lot of uh I would say coaching on what I expect from them and what they can expect from me. I expect them to be relaxed, to trust me in the process, to tell me if they're uncomfortable, to know that it if something doesn't feel right on on post-s or prompts. I want to know since the beginning or since their engagement session. I want I want to be aware of any dynamics like I said before. Totally. The emotional awareness, it's very important to me. Um, I don't want to assume anything too how how they show their affection or how the personality is at, because I want to tailor how I am serving them and make sure that they feel seen, they feel encouraged. If they need calm presence, I'll be their calm presence. If they need hyping, I'll be their hype girl. Yeah. So some people might need that a little more like a lot more, you know, high energy.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Um so you also talk about like Pinterest and like in like Instagram and like trying to be so focused on getting that photo, but you don't want them to be, right? You want them to be candid. Like, how do you help get the couple what they want with their examples that they show you, like those moments, but also like just be in love and just be in the moment in the day. Like, how do you yeah, how do you make how do you do that for them?

SPEAKER_02 7:52

I think inspiration is great. Um, I rarely ask for inspiration. Um, but if couples are are already building up a little inspiration board, I'll be like, totally. I just want to make sure this is this is something that is um I'm with board, but it's not, we're gonna forget about recreating photos or we're gonna forget about how this looks. Because I want you to be in the moment. And I think that becomes from trust. And you build that trust since the beginning of the consult and and not on the wedding day. You can't be telling people like, just be yourselves. Because um, that doesn't work for anybody. You have to let them be themselves by creating a space for them to be themselves. You have to open up yourself and be vulnerable and show that you're a person too.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

And then people say, Can you just imagine you're telling people this, right? And you're like, the partner's like, you're telling me to be vulnerable, and I'm I'm just like this macho person, right? Yeah, yeah. And you're like, you need to be vulnerable. They're like, yeah, right. But then they do let their guard down, and you get it, you get the photo. Yeah. But like some of those partners or whoever the one is in the in the couple, like, how do you help them say, dude, relax? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

I think um I started doing questionnaires, and I do them sometimes in life. So sometimes instead of like standing in a form, I'll tell them, like, let's just have a quick video call so I can I can get to know you more.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

And that helps me see and read their personalities more. Sometimes people need just a lot. Um, I don't know, I I think it's it's some teasing and some letting them be, if they're more quiet, letting them be quiet too. And not feeling letting not making them feel like they're weird.

unknown 9:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Or come on, uh, you have to kiss. I don't have to force them to anything. And I tell them, you don't have to do anything for me, you don't have to perform for me. I just wanna create photos for you. These are not for Pinterest, these are not for Instagram, even though I love posting them. Um these are for you, and I want them to I want you to love them. I want you to look at them in five years, be like, oh yeah, that's me. If I'm making them do things, you can tell. You can tell when people are just showing.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

I was just gonna say, you also say performing. Yeah. Like how you probably cat like catch that too on a wedding, and you're like, oh, they feel like they're being more posy and performing.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

How do you like give her a dip, give her, like you said, give her a dip, give her a kiss, give her a twirl, do this, do that, like you know, all those things are fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

I think I think you have to tailor that to your couple because some couples will love that. And I ask them, how much guidance do you need, how much direction? People are like, oh, all of it. I don't know when I'm doing it. Yeah. Um, and I think that's totally okay. And I and I also don't assume how they're showing the romance, right? Because some people might be a dip, and some people might be like, we would never do that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I get a lot of like different couples that I'm not gonna assume the uh one of them is gonna twirl the other one. Yeah. Just because they're taller. Yeah, yeah. So I I asked, like, who was the twirl? Do you feel like doing a twirl? Do you feel like doing something more um more creasy or do you want I try to follow their energy too? If they're more quiet and they're like being cute and and cuddly, I just follow that. I don't I don't have to, you know, match the five poses that I thought looked good and Pinterest. Yeah. Because that's gonna feel uh fake for them. It's not gonna have a lot of meaning, I think. And and a lot of times after the the session, um, the person that was an introvert or that was like not excited about the photo, they'd be like, Oh, I actually had such a good time. Like they're they're relieved. And they tell them, yeah, it's like couples therapy, but with a camera.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

And I think that that makes a difference in how the photos look because many couples tell me I just the photos look like themselves, like they people are themselves, and I I think that's what makes a difference.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

But at the same time, you're so artful with it and you are very editorial with it, and it's just amazing how you get that like balance without doing the prompts and doing the performative stuff. It's really amazing. How would you describe your style? I do the prompts, I just think I do more like gentle prompts.

SPEAKER_02 12:32

But yes, gentle. Um I think I think it's a mix of like storytelling, it's like the bass, like you have to see the people and you have to understand the story before you start to polish. And then the editorial part is like the polish. So that angle, that composed composition has to be good, the light, all the mastery and things. I love that, and I'm always hyper aware of all that. Yeah, because we might have like a beautiful kiss, but terrible light. Yeah. So I'm always aware of both. Um, and I I'm in that point, thankfully, in my career, where I'm like, it's like second nature to me. Yeah. I'm always trying to compose from an interesting angle and trying to do that. But uh the base is always the storytelling and making sure that I'm not fabricating or per making them perform so that um the moment is both pretty and like powerful.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

Um with your style, like what trends of like photography do you like love and like don't love? Like we hope they go away, right? Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_02 13:45

I I've been in this for a while, and I remember when when sepia was a thing, and now it's making a comeback in a weird way. So like over-editing, over-editing, um, desaturating colors, colors that are real. If your skin looks not real, it's not gonna age well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

So what do you feel what will age well? What's like what your again, it's your point of view. Like, what do you think is age well?

SPEAKER_02 14:13

Clean colors, um, good light, good composition, honest poses. Same same thing with the poses. Sometimes, like the prompts are so known by photographers that you you know what prompt they use. Uh and everybody does the piggyback ride, and and you know, 10 years we might be like, oh no, I actually made it made a point and like no piggyback rides.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

Right? No. Because that's really important for couples to actually put down maybe a list of no's. Yes, it's so like I am not a twirler, right? Or you might not be a twirler or kissers. Yeah, or I don't want to see me having too many beverages on my wedding day. Like little things like that. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

I think, yeah, honest uh or like real are are always gonna age well. Eye contact, yeah. Um poses that feel like a natural gesture to that person that they're just leaning in, holding hands, walking, those are timeless. How do you feel like a piggyback ride though?

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Some couples just recoup back ride.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

Yeah, but um are you like do you like black and white photos? Oh, I love black and white photos. I do too. I think they're so timeless. Like, I wish one like it'd be such a challenge that we do like one shoe, like all black and white. I know we have done a fashion tube, but it was like pre-my time in like 2018. I think there was one in 2019. It's just beautiful. Stunning. I just feel like couples should challenge themselves to be like, just do all black and white photos. Right? Yep. All black and white for a wedding. I know, but I know flo my florists and my linens are they're saying Sony absolutely not.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

I think colors there's pictures that are meant to be black and white, yeah. Especially emotional, deep uh portraits. Um, some moments are necessary to be black and white even because it takes the focus away from things and we're focusing on the moment.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 16:12

But I think I think color is needed. So like a mix. Um, not all photos could be black and white to me.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

I don't know. How do uh this is a curveball, are you ready? Mm-hmm. Yes. How do you handle when a guest shows up with a camera?

SPEAKER_02 16:30

You know, I grew up in a family of photographers. My dad showed up with a camera onto my wedding. And phones, I'm like I think everybody uh enjoys and their way sometimes they enjoy with a phone in their cam in their hand or a hammer in their hand. And I'm not, I'm not gonna like elbow anybody because they have a camera. I might gently be like, hey, not like um at the kiss moment. Can you please not do it in the aisle? Or if I'm seeing that they are in the aisle. But I have no problem with that. Like my Uncle Carlos, he showed up on the camera. I'm like, okay, Uncle Carlos.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

I'm not surprised, Uncle Carlos.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

There's something like an uncle. Um it's always the uncle. Or so and abuelas, you know, abuelas come with their iPad sometimes. And I'm like, let the abuela take the photo. Yeah, yeah. Because I think everybody has a way of enjoying and and documenting. It's not just my job, but it's something we are all doing with what we have. And as long as you can get your job done. Yeah. Yeah. There always there's always gonna be yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

You have also mentioned um when there is a like almost a rotten egg in the bunch of like wedding professionals, like meaning like when there's not a a a valid like a vendor that's not as professional and can really kind of unravel the day. Yeah. How how do you but do you recommend a couples with that situation? Or like how do you handle that situation in that moment? I know. Because vendor energy spreads more than shipping.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

Yeah, like explain that. I think if you're already there and you already have your vendors, um you're almost saying like if you can sense it before the wedding day. You can absolutely sense it before the wedding day with the communication styles of people, with the consult, with their emails, even. Um you can sense if somebody brings you comb, if if your nervous system is is giving you is giving you signs, you should listen to them because you're gonna be around them for a year planning a wedding, and you're gonna be surrounding them. So if you have a wedding planner that might be super like famous and everything, but it doesn't help your nervous system. Or during the wedding call council, you don't feel seen, you don't feel heard, you don't feel like your doubts are are validated. That's gonna transfer. That's gonna show up on your wedding day as well. Say for like a wedding photographer, if they're not hearing you.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

I've never asked this question on the podcast. I was like, then you brought that up in the QA.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

I was like, that's really good. Well, you're so intuitive and you know the couple so well. I feel like you're the kind of person that would be like, you're supposed to cut the cake right now, but you need five minutes. We're gonna give you five minutes, breathe or whatever. And if you don't have, you know, um a DJ or caterer that will like roll with that, like you know, you you gotta advocate, you gotta advocate for them, right? So that's so important. I feel like you'd be the one to advocate for that. So I love that. Yes, kind of like a wedding doula.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

Yeah, that's really good. A little bit. That's really good. So, last question. Um, if you could tell couples, you know, what to look for when they're finding the perfect photographer, like what are key questions that they should ask or look for to make sure that like that photographer will take care of them on their wedding day.

SPEAKER_02 20:16

I always say since photography is so visual, I would say, can I take a look at full galleries? Um, because if you see at least one full gallery, you can tell uh how the how the photographer is looking at things and how how you're gonna fit into that. Um also ask um what is your approach? Are you more hands-on? Uh are you more like fly on the wall, we call it. That's a big, a big thing. If you want to be directed all day, then you need the hands-on photographer. If you want to be just let alone, let me have my moments, and you photograph, you want to make sure that fits into what you're looking for. Uh, of course, by then I hope that you already looked at portfolio and colors and editing, and how do you handle light? But things you can ask too, is like how do you handle if you're running late? How do you handle a stress? Like, such a good thing. Have you had any emergencies that or like any situations you've had to really pivot during a wedding day? And then that makes us think that'd be like that'd be a tricky question to ask, but you can tell a lot by how they uh answer. Because experience is what gives you those those moments.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

I was gonna say all these questions are coming from experience. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

Well, Laura, it has been so fun having you on the podcast. I think this keeps you're so calm, you're so at peace. And any couple that has you on their wedding day is so lucky to have you. So, so blessed.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

So thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

Thank you for being here. Well, thank you for tuning into Wedding Day Podcast. We'll see you next time. See you bye.