How Do You Prepare for a Boudoir Session? | WDP Ep 84

🎧 Listen to learn:

• How to prepare for your first boudoir session
• Why boudoir photography is about confidence, not perfection
• The biggest misconceptions about bridal boudoir
• When to give your partner a boudoir album
• How boudoir sessions create stronger wedding-day relationships

How do you prepare for a boudoir session if you've never done one before? In this episode of Wedding Day Podcast, host Sonja Babich, CEO of Iron Diamond Media, sits down with Phoenix-based wedding, boudoir and lifestyle photographer Ashley Stone, owner of Ashley Stone Photography, to discuss how boudoir photography can become one of the most empowering experiences leading up to your wedding day.

Known for her romantic, emotion-driven imagery, Ashley shares how she helps first-time clients feel comfortable in front of the camera through thoughtful guidance, natural posing and a supportive environment. She explains why boudoir is about much more than creating a meaningful gift for your partner—it's an opportunity to celebrate your confidence, embrace vulnerability and preserve this chapter of your life in an authentic way.

The conversation also explores the biggest misconceptions surrounding boudoir photography, why these sessions often strengthen the relationship between photographer and client, and how that trust naturally carries into the wedding day. Ashley also offers practical preparation tips, discusses the emotional impact boudoir can have throughout different seasons of life and shares her advice for when couples should exchange a boudoir album before the wedding.

Whether you're considering your first boudoir session, searching for a wedding photographer or simply curious about the experience, this episode offers expert advice and heartfelt insight into confidence, connection and creating photographs that tell your story long after the wedding day.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Wedding Day Podcast with your host Sonia Babbage, CEO of Iron Diamond Media, a leading wedding resource featuring seven localized wedding brands across the country.

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Hi everybody, Sony here with Wedding Day Podcast. We're here at the beautiful Arizona Beltmore in Phoenix, and I'm sitting here with my friend Ashley Stone, owner of Ashley Stone Photography, and we're gonna talk about a lot of fun things today that I've never talked about. I'm gonna be learning a lot too from boudoir photography, and of course she does wedding day photography as well. So hi Ashley. Hi. So you've been doing this for 11 years. Yes. Um and you started like shooting, was it your cousins?

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Yes. At first? Yep, they were toddlers at the time. So I was 11, but they were all like two and three years old, and I would kind of pose them up on blocks and stuff or take horses. Yep, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

And now you're doing boudoir. Yes. Which is the night and day difference. Yes, very opposite, very opposite. Yeah. And then wedding day. So, but what I loved when I was, you know, reading about you before meeting you today, um, is that you do a lot of your wedding day couples. And I think that is so cool that you do that boudoir moment with them before their wedding day. So help how does that even discussion happen? Do they usually book you first as their wedding day before photographer or do they book you first as boudoir and then it couldn't then it becomes there? Like, what do you see as common for you?

SPEAKER_00 1:25

I feel like people typically book the wedding first and then kind of realize that I do boudoir photography because it's a separate Instagram. The content is more tender, if you want to say. So I can't just like bluntly post someone's butt on my regular Instagram. Um, so they kind of like do a deep dive on me and figure out that I also own this boudoir company and they reach out and kind of ask some questions about what it entails. Like, will they be nervous or uncomfortable, or like is it gonna be, you know, super explicit and things like that. Um, and then we kind of go from there as to, well, are you looking to gift this to your partner for the wedding day, or kind of what are you thinking there? And then we move forward with booking them, and I genuinely feel like most of my brides don't realize that I do it until I proclaim it to them. Oh, yeah. Which can be hard because when I'm meeting with the couple, I don't want to be like, oh, I do boudoir photography. And then the couple of things. Because then there's like, yeah, because then their partner is kind of like, oh, that's cool, and then that could also plant the seed that they might be doing that as a gift, and I don't ever want to give it away. Yeah, give the beans away.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Exactly. Um, so like when again, a lot of girl, girl guy, whoever, they talk about it like they would never usually have done that before either. So how do you pit like paint that picture to help them be like make them relax, open to the idea?

SPEAKER_00 2:49

Yeah. I feel like one of the biggest things that helps me is that I'm like a talker. I never stop talking, so I don't I don't like silence. Even when I do like a couple sessions outdoors or family sessions, silence is just like it's not just uncomfortable for me. I feel like it's uncomfortable for everyone. So I'm either generally playing music or I'm talking. With Beauvoir, I feel like I'm very pose directive, and so I'm really trying to guide them through the pose, especially with arching their back. I usually have to place my hand on their back and guide their pelvic area back. Um, because they Yeah. And a lot of people just they're not used to arching their back like that. Or if you do arch your back like that, you're not thinking about arching your back like that. So I feel like that directive posing and kind of like, hey, can I place my hands on the book?

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Yes, hold up.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

I feel like being very direct with them and not being awkward myself and like being kind of nervous to touch them or anything. Like, I feel like if I had boudoir photos done and I had someone who seemed nervous to touch me or like didn't really talk, I'd be like, Well, this is uncomfortable. Like, yeah, what am I doing? Do you know what you're doing? So I just feel like by guiding them through posing and talking a lot about what we're doing and how it looks and showing them photos on the camera throughout the session, it really helps them like become comfortable and realize, like, oh wow, I actually can be sexy. I am not stiff. And that's really nice.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

Yeah. So when somebody gets nervous, that's what you do, just kind of like read the room, read the energy, or sometimes I've heard it's a little emotional, it can be in that in those.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

Yes, I actually was just talking to my husband about that because doing it for 11 years, I have I've had clients where I've done their family photos for like eight years, and then they come to me, the wife comes to me for boudoir and breaks down to me about a bunch of things in their life. Like mid-session is just sobbing into me, like while in lingerie, and I'm just there. I do think that boudoir can be a very vulnerable experience. You're stripped down to nothing, basically, um, which can overwhelm some people if they're not used to situations like that. And it kind of it's like going to therapy. It like is stripping away layers and you feel vulnerable, and so you're just kind of oversharing. So it can get pretty emotional with people, but not too often. Most of the time it's more just like they freeze up and don't talk the first five to ten minutes just because they're nervous. But we usually power through it pretty quickly.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Yeah, I'm sure there are like many thoughts are going through their head, like, Am I doing this? Is this cool? Is this okay? And then you as Lily being like, I do this all the time.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

Yeah, and I feel like from a female perspective in today's world, it's really hard if you're not a certain size or you don't have a certain something about yourself to feel like you deserve to feel that sexy. And like I have always like promoted with my business like every size is beautiful, every color is beautiful, every hair color, every type of ethnicity and culture, like there's so many different kinds of people in the world, and to be able to show them that they also get to feel sexy and don't have to be that certain size is amazing, and that's kind of why I fell in love with boudoir.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

How long does a typical boudoir session even last? Um, I feel like my session is a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Obviously, I haven't done it before. Yeah, which you should, you would love it. I said I would love it. Even if you're blushing the whole time, it'll be nice. Um, I feel like they typically last like an hour and a half, two hours. It kind of depends what they're looking for. Um, just with like with any kind of session, I feel like there are certain people who will be like, okay, I'm done, that's enough. Like, and they just call it because people are uncomfortable in situations. I've only had it happen twice, but it does happen. Most sessions we run over and it just kind of flows. And that's what's nice about boudoir is it do you provide the lingerie or do they bring the lingerie?

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Because you know what lingerie photos probably better than others.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

So I actually a few months ago opened a client closet. So I own a studio with my sister, and I turned one of the rooms into my office slash client closet. So I have racks of lingerie in every color and size, which has been like super helpful. I bet. Because I have people come in and they try on outfits that they think will look, you know, great. And you're like, no, I'm not sure. And then they try it on and they're like, oh, and I'm like, yeah, no, I think we should try this. And if you're not wearing lingerie regularly, it's not something that people generally think about. And lingerie in the mirror is so much different than lingerie in a camera. Absolutely. What's gonna flatter your assets and things like that. But most of the time I feel like people bring their own lingerie and they will send me photos of themselves in fitting rooms and trying it on and be like, what do you think? And then I say, I love it, or hey, let's try this and just kind of go from there. So yeah, my my uh photos on my phone.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Friday.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Nobody can go through the bubbles on my phone.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

Jesse, nope, got a different color. Yep, exactly. Yes, that is my life. So then when you have that like that relationship from a boudoir before their wedding day, how does that now play into a wedding day? Probably more emotional or more understanding of their emotions.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

Absolutely. I feel like it makes the bride more comfortable with me because she knows like I've seen everything at this point. So I definitely feel like when I get to the wedding, there isn't this like I barely know you type of energy or anything like that. It's more just like, oh hey girl, like you've seen my boobs, here we are. So um I feel like it helps a lot with the bride dropping like this wall between us. It's kind of just this ease with me. Like, if you can guide me through something as vulnerable as that, you can guide me through my wedding day, no problem. And I definitely love that relationship that I get to have with them prior because they share things with me during the boudoir session about their partner, about their family that they wouldn't share with me if their partner was there and we were doing engagement photos. So it definitely is like a deeper, more intimate relationship that we have built prior to the wedding day.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Um so I wish Dan was here on this one because he actually witnessed somebody getting the gift for the boudoir. Okay. And he was like, oh man. So do you help coach like when they give it to them be like you might want to be in a private setting? Like so then like it's not seen by others. Because again, the gift D, the gift, yeah, the gift D doesn't know what's coming.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

Yes, absolutely. You know, like how do you coach them through that? I've kind of coached to stop doing it day of. I feel like there is nothing worse to do to a man in particular than to give him something like that 10 minutes before he's about to walk down the aisle in front of his family. There I also feel like I did the boudoir photos, but I feel like photographing them, opening them is kind of it's a lot for them. Like, because I'm literally watching them look at these photos, even though I took them.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Right.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

Um, there have been a few couples I've had that are very like more open with things like that, and they just like love that they have photos of them opening this book. But generally, if I am the wedding photographer that day and I'm giving them the book, I will make sure, like, hey, let's go over out here. We're gonna open this gift together, and you know, I'm gonna take some pictures, but I'll give you a few minutes like after we take photos, I'll walk away and just let you know.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

I think this is such a good like topic because it is so common to give that gift to your partner on the wedding day, but or recommend pre-wedding day or morning, not 10 minutes before the aisle. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

Like I absolutely recommend, like probably the night before, or even better, like the next day, so that they save all their energy for you and they don't waste it. That's just my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

So that is a good opinion. Oh, this is so funny. But also, it's very real. Yes, it's very real. This happens all the time. And I'm I'm one of my best friends. I remember she did that for her husband too, and I'm like, what are you doing? And it was a group on back in the day when there was group on the wall. Yeah, but you know what you gotta do, what you gotta do. Yeah, absolutely. Wedding day, let's shift gears. So wedding day now, and having that relationship with them. Like, now what's your favorite part of the day? Like, I know that you can see like that frontible side, you can read their energy, but now being like the wedding day photographer, what's your favorite thing? Because I know your passion is boudoir, a lot of it. But then when it's the day of and they've been your client the whole way, what's your cherry on top at the very like on the wedding day with the couple?

SPEAKER_00 11:37

Does that make sense? Yes, I have uh I have quite a few favorites, but I feel like my top two moments of the wedding day would be the first look if they do one. Yeah. Um, I've really began to cherish this recently, like realizing that I'm pretty much the only person that ever gets to witness that between two people. And it's usually pretty emotional. It's a very, I will also use the word vulnerable there because I mean their partner's gonna turn around and see them, and they're they you have this buildup in your head on big events like that about like you know, envisioning yourself as like this amazing, like everything is together, my hair and makeup, and this dress, and this and that, and you want their reaction to feel the same. And so there's just so much emotions happening there because they're both so nervous to see each other, and getting to be there and be the only person who hears the things they say to each other right there and the emotions they experience. I love that. I also love when I get to pull them for couples' photos and it's just us because a lot of I'm known for more intimate portrait.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

I was gonna say, like, you must like more intimate weddings. Yeah. Or elotements, even. Do you do a lot a lot of elopements?

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Um, I do a quite a few elopements, but I would say I do more like large weddings. You do?

SPEAKER_01 12:50

But you know how to grab those little moments.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

Generally, I end up booking the couples who are looking for more of like the I want like romance novel cover. Like I want him to throw me against the wall, and like my slit is showing, and those are generally the couples I tend to attract. Um, so that part of the wedding day ends up becoming like pretty much my favorite because I get to experience a side of them that the family is not getting to see the entire day, or maybe not ever. So it's generally like very intimate, and I love that. I love that I get to experience that with people.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

Um, Ashley, this is a fun thing knowledge of you, but um, with best of you get a lot of votes, honey. People adore you. Oh, thank you. And I can see why. You're just your energy is so contagious, and like how you like just being like intimate with everybody and personable. I can see you can go larger than life, but then you can like get down to like the core what it's all about. Thank you. Yeah, so um I know there's some misconceptions. Am I saying that word right? Misconceptions. Yeah, I'm um, there's some misconceptions about boudoirs like being naughty, and how how do you feel about that? Like again, I feel like some people are just uneducated. Like, I'm the girl next door. I just was never introduced to it, I guess, you know, or have those girls next doors, they have the biggest inside personality.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

They just need to look fine. Maybe that's true. Definitely I definitely feel like there are a lot of misconceptions about boudoir. I have had actually a lot of people directly say, Well, isn't this just like, you know, pure erotica, like full nudes, like open everything? And it always makes me laugh because I do think that people don't understand that there is a very big line between what is boudoir and what is like actual adult content being consumed. Um, boudoir is very like sensual and it's very personal and intimate, and we could go, you know, more naughty with the boudoir session. It kind of depends on what the person's looking for. But generally, with like bridal boudoir, it's very soft, very feminine energy, very flowy and intimate. And it kind of just I feel like boudoir session sessions change with the phase of your life. What are you having this boudoir session done for? Because I've had maternity boudoir clients, and obviously.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

I just thought one of our team members said that. I'm like, I would never have thought without that.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

And obviously, you're pregnant, so it's gonna be like very soft, very maternal feminine energy. It's not gonna be as like crazy as it can get because you're pregnant. I mean, it could be, I guess, if you wanted it to, but um, generally it's more maternal and soft. Same with bridal. A lot of women bring their veils and we kind of like lay it around them and they're in the veil and things like that. Um, but it can jump as to people who are doing it for adult content, and they can get a little bit more risque. But generally, with boudoir photography, there is that big line that's drawn. And boudoir photographers are pretty good at like being vocal about what type of boudoir photographer they are.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

Right. Um, do you feel like when they do one, then they come back for the maternity, and then they come like and one of our team members is like, I hope I can do it in my 20s, my thirties, my forties, just to like remind myself aging is beautiful too.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

Yes, I actually do have quite a few clients that I have done probably like 10 plus boudoir sessions for over the course of the 11 years. I have clients that have been with me since the very beginning when I was learning the buttons on my camera. So it's that's amazing. Yeah, it is pretty amazing. It's amazing to watch people's bodies go through phases of life. Because I think that's something that we don't generally think about. I've done boudoir sessions, I've probably done about 12. And the first one was when I married my husband 11 years ago and I had no tattoos. I was bleach blonde, I was a size two, and so I look at those photos and I look young and very like haven't experienced the world yet, and then I did some right after pregnancy. I did not do any while I was pregnant, but I did some right after pregnancy, and it's kind of amazing to see how like my face shifts emotionally through phases of life. True, and I've gotten to experience that with quite a few people, which is really nice.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

It's super cool. So, how should a uh how can a client prep for a boudoir? Like even just beauty, probably, right? Like, what would you say to help prepare them for it?

SPEAKER_00 17:29

So I have a prep guide that I have on my Instagram story and I kind of go through with clients, but it's kind of touch and go with certain clients. Some people are really natural and they don't want all the prep work, which is fine. Um, but generally, like it's kind of like preparing for any major event, like a wedding. Um, nails done, hair and makeup. I have a hair and makeup artist that I use regularly with my clients, and she comes to the studio and does their hair and makeup and then they go right into their session.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

Oh, awesome.

SPEAKER_00 17:56

Yeah, which is really nice. So a lot of people will get their hair and makeup done, they'll have their nails done. Your hands are in a lot of photos, so it's important to make sure that they look nice, they're polished and manicured. Um, so prep like that, spray tans are optional. I really like having spray tans done for events, but a lot of people think that they, you know, have to go big or go home to prep for a boudoir session, but we also want to make sure that they look like themselves. So if they're not someone who does all that prep regularly for events, they should not be doing that prep for boudoir because it can be like really shocking to see themselves look completely different. Right. So prep, I feel like is more of like a mental thing than it is anything else. I always tell women to practice um sexy faces in the mirror.

unknown 18:41

Uh huh.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

Because it's not something you think about until you have to breathe out with your mouth and close your eyes and you're arching at the same time to be kind of, hey, I haven't even really seen myself make this face before. Like, and in your head, you think you look weird, but generally women do not look weird when we make that face. It's all in our head. So mental prep is super important for a boudoir session.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

Do you get those on a Friday night house this face?

unknown 19:06

Just kidding.

SPEAKER_01 19:09

Well, you know, like you don't know until you like you're the coach, you're the pro. Yes. You know, but that's why they hire you. But absolutely. I I'm gonna sign up. I think this sounds so much fun.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Yes, it will break a barrier. It like definitely is like an experience. I feel like people who, when they do their first one, especially if like they're someone who boudoir is very intimidating to them and they're kind of just like, I don't know about this. After they do the first one, they're like, Okay, well now I'm gonna come back for the second one because now I like fully understand what is happening. You wouldn't have to have prosecco.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

Yes. Is that common to have like a beverage while you're doing it, or do you say no?

SPEAKER_00 19:46

I actually have a client who has to drink before every single one. Well, I would definitely I am definitely like a I had a glass of red wine before I came in here because I am definitely someone who has to like mellow myself down. Otherwise, my brain is so loud that I can't like focus on what's actually happening in front of me.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

I could keep going. This is so good. But thank you for coming on to the podcast. Absolutely sharing your story. Boudoir, I know we're gonna have some listeners because again, it's not a thing that you're gonna talk with your mom or your grandma at the coffee table. Maybe, maybe if you're me. Yeah, exactly. Well, I hope we have more use in our life. So well, thank you everybody for tuning into Wedding Day Podcast. We'll see you next time. See you guys.