From Fearful to Blossoming: Rewiring Fear Patterns with Bobbie Vyas

Today we're joined by Bobbie Vyas, a Cognitive Fear Rewiring Specialist and creator of the Fear Rewiring Method™ (FRM). Drawing on her background in psychology and counseling, Bobbie helps high-capacity women identify and interrupt the fear-based patterns that lead to overthinking, delaying decisions, and second-guessing themselves. Her work focuses on uncovering what is happening beneath the surface; how our perceptions, experiences, and self-beliefs shape our thinking, fuel fear, and influence our actions.

What Bobbie has found is that most people aren't lacking ability. Instead, they're operating from fear patterns they haven't fully identified yet. Through her Fear Rewiring Method™, she helps clients recognize those patterns, challenge them, and develop new ways of thinking that support confidence, growth, and meaningful action.

In this episode, we talked about:

• Bobbie's journey from living with fear to now building a life and business rooted in growth

• Her framework for identifying, reframing, and rewiring fear patterns

• The power of mindset, self-talk, and being intentional about the stories we tell ourselves

• Learning from setbacks and embracing growth

• The creative and unexpected ways she attracts new clients and grows her business

• The importance of being present and creating space for personal and professional growth

Whether you're building a business, navigating a life transition, or working to overcome self-doubt, this conversation offers practical insights into understanding fear, shifting your mindset, and moving forward with greater confidence, clarity, and intention.

Connect with Bobbie

LinkedIn: Bobbie Vyas

Instagram: @growthmindsetgrows

Facebook: Bobbie Kaylean Vyas

TikTok: @growthmindsetgrows

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, and sharing it with someone who might benefit from the conversation. Your support helps us continue sharing the stories, lessons, and experiences of entrepreneurs, creators, and professionals who are building meaningful work and lives.

Transcript

from-fearful-to-blossoming-rewiring-fear-patterns-with-bobbie-vyas

[00:00:00] Speaker: When we get that nauseous feeling, we say that, "Oh, well, we have to wait for the perfect time." And that's that perfectionism sneaking in. But what do we know about perfectionism? It is a scam. It is a scam. It is, it is not real. It is a delay tactic disguised as professionalism. If I'm not nauseous, it's not worth it.

[00:00:20] Speaker: So if I get a new opportunity, and I feel so nauseous, and I'm like, "Oh, my gosh, I don't know. Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh," and that fear start being louder than my purpose, guess what? I go ahead anyway. Because ultimately, fear is not louder than my purpose. And do I do it nauseous? Yes. Am I nervous? Yes. But guess what?

[00:00:38] Speaker: After it's done, now my nervous system has that data. And so now the next time, I'm not as nervous because I know it all works out in the end. I would encourage you to be mindful about how you talk to yourself. Be mindful about the care you take with [00:01:00] yourself. If I said, "Oh, Karita, you're not this, you're not that.

[00:01:03] Speaker: You ain't got this, you ain't got that, and you this," you'd be ready to take off your earrings. You'd be ready to take off your earrings, and you'd be ready to fight. Get your Vaseline out. You ready to fight. But yet we talk to ourselves like that, Karita. We talk to ourselves like that. So how dare you talk to your beautiful, wonderful, starting out self like that?

[00:01:24] Speaker: Be kinder to yourself because you are the key. 

[00:01:28] Speaker 2: Welcome to Begin, Build, Blossom, your business journey. The podcast where we share valuable insights, resources, and motivation to fuel your entrepreneurial spirit. Let's build a supportive community together. Don't forget to subscribe or follow wherever you listen 

[00:01:46] Speaker 3: to podcasts and be part of this journey 

[00:01:51] Speaker 2: Let's pause for a moment to hear from our sponsors You've built a name for yourself through hard work and dedication, but does managing the [00:02:00] business side feel like a distraction from your true passion?

[00:02:03] Speaker 2: Are you dealing with unmanaged finances? CME Accounting LLC is here to help. We specialize in organizing your financial records, allowing you to focus on what you do best. With organized books, you'll have more time for what inspires you, whether that's expanding your influence, building relationships, or simply enjoying life.

[00:02:23] Speaker 2: Don't let unmanaged finances hold you back. Reach out to CME Accounting LLC today and let us help you thrive. Visit our website, www.cmeaccountingllc.com, or email us at admin@cmeaccountingllc.com. All right, let's jump back into our conversation. Welcome to this episode of Begin, Build, Blossom: Your Business Journey.

[00:02:48] Speaker 2: We are here today with Bobbie Vyas. She's a cognitive fear rewiring specialist and the creator of the Fear Rewiring Method, also known [00:03:00] as FRM. Through her work, she helps high-capacity women understand and interrupt the patterns that keep them overthinking, delaying, and second-guessing themselves. Grounded in her training in psychology and counseling, Bobbie focuses on helping people uncover what's actually happening beneath the surface, how the way they see themselves and interpret their experiences shapes their thinking, fuels fear, and ultimately drives their behavior.

[00:03:32] Speaker 2: What she's found is that most people aren't lacking ability. They're operating from fear patterns they haven't really identified yet. Bobbie, welcome. 

[00:03:44] Speaker: Oh my goodness, such a wonderful greeting. Thank you, Clarita. I am all the better for being here. So excited. We're gonna have some fun. 

[00:03:54] Speaker 2: Yes, a continuation of the fun that we've been having since we met on Staten Island.[00:04:00]

[00:04:00] Speaker: Exactly. 

[00:04:02] Speaker 2: Yes, we met during the, um, um, the Success Tribe Summit, um, put together by Deanna Jean. You know, I've been mentioning people on here through different episodes that other people should get to know, and Deanna is definitely one of them. 

[00:04:14] Speaker: Oh my goodness, Deanna Jean, get to know her. Absolutely. 

[00:04:19] Speaker 2: Yes.

[00:04:19] Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much, Bobbie, for taking the time to be with us today. I was just saying earlier before we got on here that I needed to, I need to match your energy because I remember meeting you. I had such a wonderful time with you. You're just such a pleasure to be around. 

[00:04:33] Speaker: Oh my goodness. Well, pleasure to be around knows pleasure to be around, and you have such a warm and inviting energy, so it was easiest, the easiest thing in the world to be authentic and to just show up for that experience, and I did.

[00:04:48] Speaker: And look, we're winning. We're winning. 

[00:04:50] Speaker 2: Yes, we are. What was our table number again at the, at the event? We at the special table 

[00:04:57] Speaker: Special table number eight. Mm-hmm. 

[00:04:59] Speaker 2: [00:05:00] Yes. So shout out to all, all the other table eight ladies. Shout out to 

[00:05:03] Speaker: table number eight, yeah. 

[00:05:06] Speaker 2: Yes. So Bobbie, I'm really happy to get to know more about you, and one of the ways we like to, um, start this, um, episode is by asking our guests two words, one you would use to describe yourself now, and one word you would have used to describe yourself as a child.

[00:05:25] Speaker: One word I would use to describe myself as a child would be fearful and afraid. Well, fearful. And a word I would use to describe myself now would be blossoming 

[00:05:37] Speaker 2: Blossoming. Fearful to blossoming. Tell us more, Bobbie 

[00:05:41] Speaker: I know, I know. So I was afraid of everything as a kid. I was afraid of people, places, and things.

[00:05:49] Speaker: I was afraid of going outside. I was afraid of making new friends. It was just a general and almost global sadness and fear that I [00:06:00] had as a child, and I didn't have the outlets or support to get help with that. So it stuck around for years and years and years until I decided that my mind was my power, and I found out that thoughts can become thing, and that I can begin to shift the narrative of, of my life.

[00:06:24] Speaker: Because if I didn't do something, and do something drastically, and starting with your mind is a, is a drastic undertaking, if I didn't do something, my life would be dismal. So I began to work on how I think and why I think the way I think, and now I am blossoming. I am resilient. I am, in many ways, fearless, and self-doubt diminishes on a daily basis.

[00:06:52] Speaker 2: Mm, mm, and I love how you also help others do the same, to move from- Absolutely ... fearful to blossoming I 

[00:06:59] Speaker: was 

[00:06:59] Speaker 2: my 

[00:06:59] Speaker: first [00:07:00] client. Yep, I was my first client, and then I realized, man, yo, I can help somebody else with their fear, and then, you know, the rest is history. 

[00:07:10] Speaker 2: Yes. So I know we talked about fearful being that word in your childhood.

[00:07:15] Speaker 2: Knowing that, I would like to ask, is there one childhood memory that comes to mind for you right now? 

[00:07:21] Speaker: One childhood memory that comes to mind, and it's so interesting. It's so interesting, 'cause it just popped in my mind. Because while I had a fearful upbringing where I was riddled with fear, there were, there were wonderful moments as well, and one of the things that pop up in my mind was from my Uncle Charles.

[00:07:40] Speaker: And my cousin hearing this, his daughter is gonna be delighted by this, but my Uncle Charles coming by and getting us all nice shoes. I grew up in a environment where we didn't have much, and we shared what we had. And my Uncle [00:08:00] Charles had this great connect, and he came by with, uh, like, 10, 15 pair of new shoes for all of the ladies And it was wonderful, Clarita.

[00:08:12] Speaker: Everybody was surrounding the beautiful shoes, and we all had nice shoes. Now, will I admit I was a kid and I didn't know how to keep nice things? Yes. I I did not know how to keep nice things, but that is a fond memory, and it's one of many I have of my passed away Uncle Charles. Very fond. Very fond. 

[00:08:33] Speaker 2: And I noted you said new shoes.

[00:08:34] Speaker 2: They were all new shoes. 

[00:08:36] Speaker: New. New, Clarita. They were new sh- Steve Madden. S- they were all Steve Madden shoes, so, so yeah, very, very happy, very happy memory, and I think the happy memory and the not so happy memory, it all informs us to be who we are. All of it is a collective process that shapes who we are, so we take it all in stride.

[00:08:59] Speaker 2: [00:09:00] Yes, certainly. And if there is one place you could travel to right now, Bobbie, where would that be? 

[00:09:06] Speaker: Don't get me started, Clarita. This is the oddest thing. I did a report when I was around nine years old on a place called Saint Lucia. Saint Lucia. Clarita, Clarita, don't get me started. Yes, I did a report. I was, I believe I was, like, 10 or 11, and I was doing some research and I said, "This looks like a beautiful place," and I've always wanted to visit.

[00:09:30] Speaker: Up until now, in my big age, I've not done it yet, and now it's on my bucket list to 

[00:09:36] Speaker 2: visit. Oh, Bobbie. 

[00:09:37] Speaker: I know, Clarita. We 

[00:09:38] Speaker 2: need to change that, Bobbie. 

[00:09:41] Speaker: We need to change it because I really, for better or for worse, whatever it is, I want to, I want my feet to hit the sands and the grounds of Saint Lucia, and I believe that would be, in many ways, a full circle and, in many ways, a life fulfilled because there were many [00:10:00] things I didn't have s- uh, growing up, so it would be, oh, it would be such a wonderful full circle moment to have my feet touch that beautiful soil.

[00:10:10] Speaker: I know it's beautiful. I just know it. Oh, 

[00:10:11] Speaker 2: yeah. And Bobbie, let me know when you're going. I know some people, Bobbie. I might even be able to go with you. Who knows? Clarita, 

[00:10:17] Speaker: you are a gift. You are a gift, and I know as soon as I said it you were like, "Offline conversation." 

[00:10:23] Speaker 2: Yeah, we, we, we have to chat. So Bobbie, if there is one book or movie that you'd recommend, what would it be?

[00:10:30] Speaker: It would be Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck, PhD. C- Dr. Carol Dweck is called Mindset, and it's a complete breakdown of how growth mindset affects every aspect of life from sports, from business, from management, from teaching. It affects all the aspects of life in how we learn from setbacks and how we grow from what we consider to be failures.

[00:10:56] Speaker: And the idea is that, and she didn't invent it, but she [00:11:00] surely coined the term growth mindset and fixed mindset. And the idea is that we radically learn from setbacks. I'm always saying that if I break my shoelace, I'm gonna find something that comes from it. Well, maybe I bent down at the right time to avoid a bird.

[00:11:15] Speaker: I'm gonna find unusual gratitude in that setback, and that is growth mindset, learning from the setbacks, considering all failures as learning so you don't lose anything when you fail because all of it's learning 

[00:11:32] Speaker 2: So you, you're choosing to focus on the positive. There's a positive in everything is what I'm hearing.

[00:11:38] Speaker: It's a positive, and that's the first step. It goes so deep into how we believe and how we take that positivity and unfold it, unfold it so that it penetrates all parts of our lives, and that we understand that positivity is not just, "Oh, I'm so happy the sky is blue," and, "Oh, I'm so happy this and that." It is [00:12:00] a radical movement of understanding that setbacks are in your favor, that you get to live this life.

[00:12:09] Speaker: This is not happening to you, it's happening for you. Don't get me started, Clarita. Don't get me started. 

[00:12:15] Speaker 2: Okay, okay. Now talking about positivity, let's j- let's just staying on that point- Mm-hmm ... what's one of the highest highs, the highest moments that you've had in business, Bobbi? 

[00:12:25] Speaker: When I got my testimonial back.

[00:12:27] Speaker: I did a session with a client, and I got my testimonial back, and it made me so emotional because in that testimonial, and I listed on my website a little bit, on that testimonial, it was a true transformation. And the words thank you are still very powerful. And in that testimonial, it was, "Thank you, Bobbi, for helping me see my life differently."

[00:12:50] Speaker: And when you can see your life in through a different lens that is positive, that is dynamic, that is full of [00:13:00] possibilities, that believes that just because it's the unknown, it's not a bad thing, that it can be a great thing, then you literally open up your mind, and you literally open up yourself for all kinds of opportunities.

[00:13:11] Speaker: So that was a high high, Clarita, seeing that testimonial and just getting emotional over it. And guess what? It just reared me up, and it just, it pushed me to help again. Clarita, I don't need to help 1,000 people. I don't. I need to help one, and then another, and then maybe another, right? I, I have that, that low number goal for a big impact.

[00:13:35] Speaker 2: Thanks so much for sharing that with us. And, um, on the flip side of that, let's see. I'm trying to rephrase this because, you know, we just talked so much about, um, positivity. 

[00:13:44] Speaker: Go ahead. All of it's, all of it matters. 

[00:13:47] Speaker 2: Yes. So what's one of the not so good moments, and maybe what's the positive, um, perspective on that?

[00:13:55] Speaker: It just recently happened, Clarita. I l- I enjoy saying your name, by the way. It just [00:14:00] happened- 

[00:14:00] Speaker 2: I love 

[00:14:00] Speaker: Clarita. ... where I ha- I know. I am. I had a session with a person, and it was one of my fear starter packages. So it's the beginning. We identify one fear, and we work through it. And I laid it all out. I laid it all out.

[00:14:17] Speaker: I, I believe I gave them all of the tools, how to work through it, and at the end of the session, the person felt like they had the tools. And then I sent out a lovely email, like recapping the session and also offering a debrief session, like if any questions come up for you, feel free to get back on my calendar for at least 30 minutes and, and we can talk through it.

[00:14:42] Speaker: And nothing. No reply, no nothing, Clarita. And so I'm thinking like maybe I didn't do enough. Maybe I didn't give enough. Maybe there was a discrepancy. Maybe they're being nice and I [00:15:00] really didn't do a good job. And guess what, Clarita? I had to stop and use my own framework. I had to understand that fear was playing a part.

[00:15:07] Speaker: Fear of not being enough. That's an actual fear. And I had to understand that it was playing its part, and I had to use my own framework for myself And now how do we reframe that? You offer transformation. You didn't offer a workbook only. You offer transformation, you offer personalization, and that's what I gave.

[00:15:30] Speaker: So at some point we need to stop ruminating, and we need to understand that we provided this information for the transformation so that we can move on. But it was a tough one, Clarita. It was, I- it's like we had the session and then I was ghosted. And I had to understand that it's not about me until I know it's about me.

[00:15:49] Speaker: You know what I mean? Like, I, sometimes when we, in the absence of information, we assume that we did something wrong, and oftentimes that is not the case. 

[00:15:59] Speaker 2: Yeah. And it [00:16:00] could be your work is still happening, Bobbie, when we look at the positive, um, part there, and you might get, you will, you, you will get that response later.

[00:16:07] Speaker: It could be. It could be. But I, I, I laid it all on the mat. As a martial artist would say, "I put it on the mat." I gave them what was needed and what I had, and ultimately that was enough. 

[00:16:23] Speaker 2: So I think that's a good time for you to tell us the name of your business. You know, we talked about your framework, but just, um, tell us the name of the business, um, what you do.

[00:16:32] Speaker: Absolutely. 

[00:16:33] Speaker 2: A little bit more about your framework. 

[00:16:35] Speaker: Okay. Exciting. Well, you know, I'm Bobbie, Bobbie Vios of Growth Mindset Grows is my company that I'm founder and operator in. We partner with women leaders who are in the early stages of their business, rewire fear to help them lead boldly. Very simply put, we understand that oftentimes it is not your ability that get in [00:17:00] the way.

[00:17:00] Speaker: It is fear. It is the pattern of fear. And if, when we understand what is feeding it, we can understand how to diminish it and/or rewire it to use it for our purposes to get to our next. 

[00:17:14] Speaker 2: So, so Bobbie, you just told us about, um, you know, what you do. I just wanted to ask A follow-up there. In terms of somebody who, let's focus on somebody that maybe comes to mind who you, who you've worked with, and just telling us what you can, of course.

[00:17:30] Speaker 2: Um, can you walk us through w- you know, what happened at the beginning of a session and what happens at the end? And n- and also you mentioned there's the 30, you know, they can come back to you afterwards. Just kind of walk us through that journey in terms of how you serve persons. 

[00:17:46] Speaker: Absolutely. Absolutely.

[00:17:47] Speaker: Thank you for asking. So it depends on which session you book with me. So in this particular recent session, it was a fear starter package where we focus on one fear and not [00:18:00] multiple. That's the difference between my VIP experience. So we focus on s- focusing on one fear pattern, and then what we do is, in the beginning, once we know that, that we're focusing on that one fear, I believe we have to clean the playing field.

[00:18:15] Speaker: Because oftentimes as a woman leader, you're doing multiple things, right? You have multiple things on your mind. So when you come into my sessions, because I was once a clinician 150 years ago, I can't help what I know. So oftentimes my sessions have a therapeutic component to it. I am not a licensed professional, but I studied the profession for many years.

[00:18:43] Speaker: So we start, Clarita, with gratitude breathing. We start with breathing in Everything that we're grateful for and breathing out any doubt that we may have. And what I found is, is that gratitude breathing, [00:19:00] it helps. It's like a mental sorbet. It cleanses the psyche palate for what you're about to do. And gratitude is such a lovely thing, even unusual gratitude, because it raises our vibrations to that of the universe.

[00:19:17] Speaker: And then while w- when our vibrations are high enough, we can ask for what we will. So that's what I start the sessions off with, because we're asking for fear rewired. We're asking the universe, we're asking God to help us understand what's wiring that fear so that we can repurpose it for our next. So then we go and we identify a fear pattern.

[00:19:43] Speaker: It could be fear of being understood or misunderstood. It could be fear of judgment. Well, let's take fear of failure. Fear of failure, and we walk through that. Now, what, now that we have identified the fear pattern, Karita, we must [00:20:00] understand what is feeding that fear. And without going into too much details of my special sauce, my secret sauce, we understand what feeds the fear, then we start focusing on those mechanisms of what feeds the fear.

[00:20:14] Speaker: Then we create action plans of reframe around it. How do we reframe what's feeding the fear for our betterment, for our next? So now we have a fear pattern identified, understanding what feeds it, and then looking at the scheme or the schema, if you will, and it's a old clinical word for frame of reference, our frame of view.

[00:20:41] Speaker: We all have a schema. We all have a frame of view in which we look at the world. So now that we've identified the fear pattern, we understand what's feeding it, we look at the schema, and we begin to reframe it into action. 

[00:20:54] Speaker 2: And how do you, how did you come about that work? Because I know you mentioned, um, [00:21:00] fearful as a child.

[00:21:01] Speaker 2: You mentioned that you were your first client How did you come from that to who you are now and actually doing that work with yourself? 

[00:21:11] Speaker: Can I tell you the truth? It's the truth, Clarita. Are you ready for it? Can I tell it? 

[00:21:15] Speaker 2: I'm ready. 

[00:21:17] Speaker: It was my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It was God who pointed me to understanding that setbacks didn't have to be a setup.

[00:21:26] Speaker: And as I began to learn the mechanisms of getting through setbacks, he pointed me to the way of growth mindset, understanding the dynamic mechanisms and the psychopathology of setbacks, because oftentimes, all the time, God knows what you're working with because he designed you. So he knew the psychological component I would easily get and gravitate toward.

[00:21:50] Speaker: So growth mindset, and then as I began to work on myself, because we have to work on ourselves first, and we have to be a work in progress [00:22:00] first, not master, not yet, but we have to at least be a work in progress first, he pointed me to my fears. And it was tough, Clarita. It was so tough because as I began to look at my fears, I knew the only way to manage them with God's help would be by action.

[00:22:20] Speaker: And by action, I mean we need to address the fears, and we need to diminish their power, and we need to rewire them. Because does fear ever go away? I don't know, but I can rewire it to use for my next, and that's what I began to do with myself. And then I realized s- such transformation in myself and how I approach risk.

[00:22:45] Speaker: I don't run away from risk. And as I approach opportunities, I was losing opportunities to fear, and now I'm blossoming in them. And then I decided to help others do the same

[00:22:59] Speaker 2: Let's [00:23:00] pause for a moment to hear from our sponsors. You've built a name for yourself through hard work and dedication, but does managing the business side feel like a distraction from your true passion? Are you dealing with unmanaged finances? CME Accounting LLC is here to help. We specialize in organizing your financial records, allowing you to focus on what you do best.

[00:23:21] Speaker 2: With organized books, you'll have more time for what inspires you, whether that's expanding your influence, building relationships, or simply enjoying life. Don't let unmanaged finances hold you back. Reach out to CME Accounting LLC today and let us help you thrive. Visit our website, www.cmeaccountingllc.com or email us at admin@cmeaccountingllc.com.

[00:23:49] Speaker 2: All right, let's jump back into our conversation 

[00:23:53] Speaker 3: What about those people who are s- fearful of facing the fear to begin with? 

[00:23:58] Speaker: That's good. [00:24:00] That's good that you're fearful. So then we understand what is it costing you. You have to play the whole tape out, Clarissa. What is it costing you? And that's a part of my framework.

[00:24:11] Speaker: PTWTO, play the whole tape out. What is it costing you to be afraid? Because there's a payout to fear, Clarissa. People don't think that there is, but there is. You get to not take risk, you get to stay in the shadows, you get to play it safe, if you will. But there's a cost to that. You won't be as known as you want to be, you won't be as visible as you want to be, opportunities won't come to you as, as you want.

[00:24:38] Speaker: And guess what? Relationships either. Because if we're not open to the positive possibilities, not even just in business, in life, Clarissa, you run the risk of not getting the relationship that you want. You run the risk of not getting the job or the opportunity or the career that you want because you are stuck in this fear pattern.

[00:24:59] Speaker: So [00:25:00] when I approach someone like that, like you mentioned, fearful of making the change, fearful of fear, I ask them, "What would it cost you to stay exactly the same? What would happen if you stayed exactly the same?" And we play the whole tape out. And what would it cost you to do something different? And in that sweet spot of doing something different, there lies me.

[00:25:23] Speaker: I'm the something different. My work with them is the something different. 

[00:25:26] Speaker 2: Okay. Well, I'm glad you, you do this and that, um, persons can, um, work with you on, um, facing the world differently. 

[00:25:37] Speaker: Clarissa, you are here with me, aren't you? You are so here with me. You're like, "Oh my goodness, Bobbie." 

[00:25:44] Speaker 2: Yes, Bobbie, yes, from the day I met you.

[00:25:48] Speaker 2: So, so once you decided to start this business, um, what were the steps that you actually took? You've decided now I'm going to do this. What happened next? 

[00:25:58] Speaker: So my husband is a [00:26:00] serial entrepreneur, and he is a no games entrepreneur. He works seven days a week, and his goal is to make $20,000 a month. So he is not playing around.

[00:26:09] Speaker: He works often. And what he said to me, he said, "Okay, we're serious about it." 'Cause my husband is many things, but when it comes to-- well, and when it comes to business, he has been my biggest champion. My biggest champion, interestingly enough. And he, he's-- the same day, he, we sat down at the computer, we got the LLC, same day.

[00:26:34] Speaker: We g- after that, we got the EIN, same day. After that, we paid for the domain, same day. And so now you have a E- you have a LLC, Growth Mindset Grows. You have a EIN, and you have the domain to Growth Mindset Grows because, listen, you g- if you're b- if you're gonna be on this career path, and you're gonna be an entrepreneur, your email should reflect that.

[00:26:58] Speaker: So now we have [00:27:00] these three big components. Now he said, "Go out and do the thing." So it started with the technical pieces. I had to make sure I was legit. I did not want to take any shortcuts. I w- I did not wanna take any workarounds. I wanted to go straight through that door of entrepreneurism. 

[00:27:17] Speaker 2: It's so good to have somebody in your corner like that, and you mentioned about taking action, and it sounded, it sounds like you definitely took action and you went for it.

[00:27:27] Speaker 2: And, um, since you've been in the business, how do you see new clients coming to you? What's the w- what's the best way, um, that, um, clients find you? 

[00:27:37] Speaker: Interestingly enough, my car magnet has been getting a lot of traction, Clarita. I have a car magnet with a QR code on the side of my car, and it does the marketing for me.

[00:27:49] Speaker: When I am in the store or when I am around and I am away from my car, I get so many people taking pictures of the QR code. I got two or three people, two or three women that [00:28:00] stopped me and was like, "I need your help." So that is amazing, and that's based on the QR code because guess what? My QR code goes to a website that's always in, in production, but my website is there, which adds to validity, adds to authority, right?

[00:28:17] Speaker: That I know what I'm saying and here's, and here's why. Also, being a part of a community, Clarita. I am very fortunate. I am fortunate to be a part of a powerful community, and it's my daughter's dojo, Purple Dragon Atlanta. It's out of Conyers, and man, if you're looking for a community of discipline and structure and just breeding amazing, amazing warriors who have a strong knowing constitution, that is the place to be.

[00:28:48] Speaker: And Clarita, guess what? I did not expect to have some of my closest friends there. I did not expect such a powerful reception and a greeting, but guess what? I have a powerful community, [00:29:00] and it's not just my daughter's community, it's my community. And it's a wonderful place, and guess what? Getting clients from that as well.

[00:29:07] Speaker: Clients from that as well. People who are seeing me in this environment, where they know that I've already built know, like, and trust, because that's important. People want to see people in real life, Clarita. That, that is important. And then they're, they're coming up to me, "Well, I need your assistance with this.

[00:29:24] Speaker: I need your help." And ready to talk in the dojo, and I'm like, "Okay, hold on." "I'm gonna send you a email." I don't wanna put all your business out in the dojo. It's a, it's still a public space, even though it's a wonderful space. And so That's how it began, Clarita. I had to be in the space. And even the networking in Staten Island, once again, what do all these three things have in common?

[00:29:50] Speaker: Me. I'm in the space It's not, it's not my social media. My social media is a good for knowing that I mean what I say and [00:30:00] knowing that I am who I am, but it's those in real life encounters, Clarita, that has been helping me get clients. Gotta get out there, folks. 

[00:30:09] Speaker 2: Yes. Yes. I remember when I met you, I told you I had make, made this trek up to Staten Island from the Bronx, and then you were telling me you, you came from Atlanta, and I was like, "Oh, you're coming from far."

[00:30:21] Speaker 2: No. 

[00:30:22] Speaker: No, but you, but you did it, and guess what? You're stuck with me now, Clarita. Look. Look, we have this amazing connection, and you're stuck with me. 

[00:30:30] Speaker 2: Yes, I love it. I love it. And, um, in terms of actually running the business, so I know it sounded like your husband helped you with the tech and this just getting things off the ground.

[00:30:42] Speaker 2: How do you manage the other things, like, uh, there's accounting, there is, uh, social media, all the, all the many things we have to do to keep a business running? 

[00:30:53] Speaker: Exactly. Exactly, because whether you have clients or not, the proverbial lights have to stay on, right? You have to maintain a [00:31:00] presence on social media, which I do not.

[00:31:02] Speaker: I don't enjoy it. I don't enjoy it, but I do enjoy when the connection happens because of my social media, but it's not, it's not a task that I enjoy. But to answer your question, it's me. It's me that does the administrative and that does the social media and that does the thing for now. But guess what? It won't be me always, because I have my eye on a few businesses that when I get to a certain income in my business, that the expectation is, is that I'm gonna be offloading.

[00:31:33] Speaker: And in the meantime, I have to stay connected to and I have to make that investment in powerful network communities. So while I'm thinking and while I'm gaining this income, I still need to be investing in myself and being attached to these powerful networking communities so that I can continue to learn and grow.

[00:31:52] Speaker 2: Yes. Yes. I feel you. I feel you. And, and powerful network, uh, that's very important there because, like you said, even though [00:32:00] you're not using services yet, you know of them. You're already building the trust, and you're getting to know people, so it makes it so much easier when you're ready, or even before you're ready, you could have conversations with those people.

[00:32:11] Speaker 2: So it's just great to be out there, be visible, be networking, getting to know people. Like with you, Clarita. And it's better to- I 

[00:32:17] Speaker: got my eye on you. I got my eye on you. 

[00:32:21] Speaker 2: Well, I love it. Ah. So we've talked about the bold step of actually starting the business. Is there another bold step you would like to tell us about?

[00:32:34] Speaker: Yes. So you have to get nauseous, and h- I'm gonna explain it. Clarita's like, "Get nauseous? What are you talking about?" You have to be willing to be nauseous, and let me explain. So our nervous system needs data Our nervous system needs data before we take a step, and so this is why our nervous system informs our comfort zones.

[00:32:55] Speaker: So in order to really dig into this entrepreneurial way and to owning [00:33:00] something for yourself and all of that, you have to be willing to come out, destroy, eliminate, obliterate your comfort zone. You have to be willing to give your nervous system new data, and how do you give your nervous system new data?

[00:33:16] Speaker: You have to be willing to take that action step forward. And what I've realized, Clarita, is that if I'm not nauseous, it's not worth it. So if I get a new opportunity and I feel so nauseous and I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I don't know. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh," and that fear start being louder than my purpose, guess what?

[00:33:34] Speaker: I go ahead anyway. Because ultimately fear is not louder than my purpose. And do I do it nauseous? Yes. Am I nervous? Yes. But guess what? After it's done, now my nervous system has that data, and so now the next time I'm not as nervous because I know it all works out in the end. 

[00:33:53] Speaker 2: Mm, I love that. I love that.

[00:33:56] Speaker 2: And while you're talking I'm thinking, yeah, the times when you feel so sick to your [00:34:00] stomach, but you know- Oh, so sick to your stomach ... it's the right thing to do, and you know what will come at, what will happen, you know, on the other side of that. 

[00:34:06] Speaker: And we stop ourselves. We stop ourselves at that point. We stop ourselves, Clarita.

[00:34:09] Speaker: When we get that nauseous feeling, we say that, "Oh, well, we have to wait for the perfect time," and that's that perfectionism sneaking in. But what do we know about perfectionism? It is a scam. It is a scam. It is, it is not real. It is a delay tactic disguised as professionalism, right? And so we tell ourself these things, but we have to move forward.

[00:34:30] Speaker: We have to give our nervous system data 'cause we have to make sure that we feel safe. How do we feel safe? We go out and do the things. It seems counterintuitive. How do you feel safe by going and do the things that make you nauseous? It seems counterintuitive, but ultimately it gives you that data to know that the next time, and the third time, and the fourth time, now you got the swing of things.

[00:34:52] Speaker: Now you don't have to be nervous. And guess what? Now you've built a network of your own. Now you've built a community of your own by [00:35:00] taking those nauseous first, second, and third steps. 

[00:35:03] Speaker 2: Yes. And while you're talking I'm thinking, and I can see how somebody, you know, feeling that way, speaking with you, you, you bringing that clarity, you helping them face that and really understand what's happening beneath the surface, and to help them keep on going, to actually do the thing.

[00:35:19] Speaker: Absolutely. 

[00:35:21] Speaker 2: All right. So Bobbi, what does success mean to you? 

[00:35:25] Speaker: Success means to me not only emotional and mental stability within myself. Success means to me mental wealth. Obviously, also success is financial comfortability, not talking about wealth, whatever comfortability that is, me being financially comfortable and more than comfortable.

[00:35:49] Speaker: But more importantly, it's mental wealth because I know that I can't do anything if my mind is not right. I cannot go and take those risks. I cannot go and grab those [00:36:00] opportunities. I cannot go and get new data for my nervous system. I cannot go and do any of that if my mind is not right. So mental wealth.

[00:36:07] Speaker: Mental wealth for me is emotional stability. As women, we're like, we're like the Earth. How the Earth is mostly water, women, for the most part, are mostly emotional. So guess what? When a woman is in tuned and in control and has all her wits about her in her emotions, she is a superhero She is a superhero because she is in control of that.

[00:36:31] Speaker: So emotional stability is a big part of mental wealth. Self-awareness is another part. Emotional intelligence, being able to read the room, is another part of mental wealth, and being able to show up for yourself. That's when it turned for me. When I got off the bench of my own life and start showing up for myself, the tides turned in my favor.

[00:36:56] Speaker 2: In your favor. I love that- In my favor ... part there. In your [00:37:00] favor. Yes, yes. Is there, so as we come to a close, is there one thing you, you, we probably haven't spoken about but you just would love to share with our audience? Maybe it's a question I should have asked that I haven't, but you'd like to tell us a little bit more.

[00:37:17] Speaker: You know how they say consistency is key? It really, it really is. You have to show up for yourself, but before showing up for yourself, Clarita, you have to fall in love with yourself. And it makes me emotional just talking about it because I didn't know what that meant. A bunch of years ago, I asked myself, "What does Bobbi need?"

[00:37:40] Speaker: And I started to cry because I'd never asked myself that question. But as you're developing your mind and your mindset, which is a set of beliefs that you have, you begin to ask yourself these higher level questions. What does Clarita need in this moment right now? What does Bobbi need in this moment?

[00:37:59] Speaker: And then [00:38:00] guess what? I went and gave myself what I need. So I would encourage you to give yourself what you need in that moment. I would encourage you to be mindful about how you talk to yourself. Be mindful about the care you take with yourself. If I said, "Oh, Clarita, you're not this, you're not that, you ain't got this, you ain't got that, and you this," you'd be ready to take off your earrings.

[00:38:27] Speaker: You'd be ready to take off your earrings, and you'd be ready to fight. Get your Vaseline out. You ready to fight. But yet we talk to ourselves like that, Clarita. We talk to ourselves like that. So how dare you talk to your beautiful, wonderful, starting out self like that? Be kinder to yourself because you are the key.

[00:38:48] Speaker: With God's help and with His favor, you are the key to open up the door. So be kind. Be kind to yourself first, and then if you can, be kind to others. [00:39:00] Pay it forward. 

[00:39:02] Speaker 2: Yes. What does Clarita need? What do you need? And give that to Clarita. And give it, 

[00:39:07] Speaker: and give it 

[00:39:08] Speaker 2: now. 

[00:39:09] Speaker: I will 

[00:39:09] Speaker 2: be s- yes, yes. 

[00:39:11] Speaker: Now. 

[00:39:11] Speaker 2: Yes. I will, I will be sitting with that for a little bit because I don't think- 

[00:39:15] Speaker: Please

[00:39:16] Speaker 2: I don't think I've done that, to just sit down and say, "What do I need?" And see 

[00:39:19] Speaker: what comes up for you. See what comes up for you. It may be a cathartic emotional moment, and then go and get it. Go and do it. Go and be it. 

[00:39:28] Speaker 2: Hmm. Yeah, so often we think of what others need, not always about what we need. 

[00:39:34] Speaker: But we must nurture and we must learn to self-soothe.

[00:39:37] Speaker: Hmm. Learn to self-soothe. 

[00:39:39] Speaker 2: Self-soothe. 

[00:39:40] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:39:41] Speaker 2: That brings me back to when my daughter, well, up to this day, I'm like, "You need to figure out the whole self-soothing so-" 

[00:39:46] Speaker: Yeah, yeah, but we have to treat ourselves with more- 

[00:39:49] Speaker 2: You said self-soothe ... 

[00:39:50] Speaker: yeah, but we have to treat ourselves with more care, and just even how we touch ourselves.

[00:39:55] Speaker: Now, I, it gets kinda, gets ki- I'm not going that far, but just in how, [00:40:00] you know, in how you, you maybe put on your lotion, or how you maybe put on your makeup, or don't be so rough with your skin, and don't be so rough with yourself, and be more mindful and give yourself the gift of being in the present. 

[00:40:16] Speaker 2: Mm.

[00:40:17] Speaker: The past is done. It is done. The future is yet to come. We are made to be in the present. So what would it look like if you walked outside and enjoyed the present? And guess what? After you do that, then gratit- gratitude start kicking in. And guess what? You begin to raise your vibrations to that of the universe.

[00:40:41] Speaker: And now guess what? You can ask for what you will, in Jesus' name. 

[00:40:46] Speaker 2: So Bobbie, thanks so much for sharing all of that with us. This was an amazing conversation. I look forward to many more. And can you tell those listening how they can reach out to you? 

[00:40:57] Speaker: First, I wanna thank you so much for [00:41:00] holding space for me and showing and telling the little bit of wisdom that I have in order to help people rewire fear.

[00:41:09] Speaker: So thank you so much for that, Clarita. So you can find me on Instagram at growthmindsetgrows, Bobbie Vios on LinkedIn, Bobbie K. Vios on Facebook, and growthmindsetgrows on TikTok. So it's pretty easy to find me, and I look forward to connecting. 

[00:41:29] Speaker 2: Okay. Thanks for sharing that, and I will be sure to add that in the show notes as well.

[00:41:34] Speaker 2: Thank you, Bobbie, and have a good day, and I look forward to seeing you in person again soon. 

[00:41:41] Speaker 3: A quick note before we wrap up. The insights and experiences shared by our guests are their own. We love creating space for real conversations about business and growth, and everyone's journey is unique.

[00:41:56] Speaker 3: Therefore, this podcast is for [00:42:00] informational and inspirational purposes only. It is not meant to replace legal, financial, or other professional advice. So we encourage you to take what's useful, do your own due diligence, and build what works best for you. 

[00:42:20] Speaker 2: Thanks for listening to Begin, Build, Blossom, your business journey.

[00:42:23] Speaker 2: We hope today's conversation gave you the insights and inspiration you need to move forward on your own path. Don't forget to subscribe or follow wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode. Do you have feedback? We'd love to hear from you at podcast@cmeaccountingllc.com. Join us again next week for a new episode