On the Spectrum with Sonia Krishna Chand

Hallmark, Healing, and Heartache: The Real Story Behind the Movie

• Sonia Krishna Chand • Season 2 • Episode 34

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What happens when a devastating diagnosis becomes a pivotal turning point in someone's life? In this episode, we explore the remarkable journey of Heather Krueger, who transformed adversity into her calling. Diagnosed with stage four liver disease just before her 25th birthday, Heather's strong faith and determination led her down a path where she was able to receive a living donation of a liver. However, Heather's story didn't end there. Her living donation ended up turning into a love story; a story that was picked up by Hallmark. Heather Krueger's story was behind the movie "Once Upon a Christmas Miracle."

However, unlike the love and glamour shown on screen, behind the scenes was a complete paradox. Heather's love story was on the rails at the time of the filming that ended in a subsequent divorce. Heather takes us, not only on an emotionally touching path, but also a path that will leave everyone feeling inspired, hope, encouraged, ambitious, and determined. Heather Krueger shows us that when life tries to knock you down, it is so important to get up on your feet and keep on fighting the good fight.  After all, it is consistency and persistence that wins at the end.  Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss future inspiring conversations!

Speaker 1:

Hello everyone and welcome to today's episode of On the Spectrum with Sonia, where we discuss autism spectrum mental health challenges and highlight any inspirational stories where people have had to overcome any adversity and will leave people feeling loved, encouraged, connected and filled with hope, especially in a world that tries to disconnect us on a daily. Now, for all of you who are Hallmark lovers today, you are going to be thrilled with this episode because today we have Heather Kruger on our show. Heather Kruger is the on our show. Heather Kruger is the inspiration behind Once Upon a Christmas Tale, christmas Miracle, once Upon a Christmas Miracle, and it is she's an absolute inspiration in and of itself.

Speaker 1:

Her story has been also, apart from Hallmark, has been featured on various magazines and news outlets. It's been on the ABC News Today show, bbc News. She's been on the Steve Harvey show, featured on the Steve Harvey show on CBS News. She also, in terms of publications, her story has been featured on Self, women's Health, cosmopolitan Reader's Digest, to name a few. So, without further ado, I want to say welcome, heather. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. How are you? I am great. So I have to ask you. People absolutely love Hallmark, okay, especially around Christmas and especially around watching the Christmas movies that come out of Hallmark, what was it like for you to have them make a movie based off your story, to have them?

Speaker 2:

make a movie based off your story. So it was absolutely surreal when I saw Hallmark Channel pop up on my phone calling me. I thought it was a joke. I did not think that was for real. And they asked me based on like you said, you know me being in the media my story getting so much, so much attraction, with it being a living donation. So this was almost 10 years ago. So at that time living donation wasn't as a not popular that's not the right word but a common thing. So it got a lot of traction, like I said. So them calling me and wanting to make my story into a Hallmark movie.

Speaker 1:

it really just like you, your upbringing because, for those who don't know so, once Upon a Christmas Miracle was based off of Heather's story of receiving a liver transplant, and Heather was only 25 years old when she received a stage four liver disease diagnosis where the only option for your childhood, your upbringing, like tell us a little bit about you, know life beforehand.

Speaker 2:

Sure. So pretty normal childhood. I did soccer, I was in dance, I did cheerleading, from about fifth grade through my sophomore year of high school, fairly healthy. Both my parents of high school, fairly healthy. Both my parents, you know, very supportive. I had one younger sister, three years younger than me. She was in basketball varsity all four years, you know, no real health issues.

Speaker 2:

So leading up to this diagnosis, it was very shocking because I was going to college, I wanted to be a nurse, I was in nursing school for a year I was working as a nursing assistant at a senior living facility and for about a year before my diagnosis the only symptoms I really had were fatigue and pain in the upper right quadrant of my stomach.

Speaker 2:

So I thought, oh, maybe it's my gallbladder, maybe it's a hernia from lifting people, moving people. You know I'm only barely five feet tall. So I thought maybe that was, you know, something going on with that, because you know something going on with that. So also, when I was going to my primary care doctor and other specialists, you know they did CAT scans, they did ultrasounds, they did blood work and everything kept coming back normal. They said your gallbladder might be a little sluggish, but other than that, like everything looks fine and I'm like something isn't right, something like you know, you know your own body and I'm like not to deny the doctors, but like something is not right. And when I did finally get diagnosed, like you said it was, it was stage four non-alcoholic fatty liver disease, two weeks before my 25th birthday alcoholic fatty liver disease two weeks before my 25th birthday.

Speaker 1:

And how did that diagnosis?

Speaker 2:

finally come to light, Like what had happened. I kept ending up in the ER with a lot of pain. At that point it started becoming more intense, so they decided to do a liver biopsy. Through the liver biopsy they could determine what stage it was, what caused it, those types of things.

Speaker 1:

And so they did the liver biopsy based on where they saw you having pain, where they were at one point where your pain was Okay, yes, and so it was two weeks, so you're turning 25. You got the Okay yes, and so it was two weeks, so you were turning 25. You got the diagnosis yes. What was going in your head at that time then, like, what were the thoughts going on? What were they saying, like, what was happening for you in terms of that? Like in terms of?

Speaker 2:

you that Like in terms of you? So for me. I actually got the phone call about the diagnosis. The doctor told me over the phone that I was in stage four acute liver failure and that this was on a Sunday. She called me and that I had to come into the ER that Monday morning and she told me that she didn't think I was going to make it another three months. This was over the phone.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh, yeah, I can. Shocking and devastating and just like the amount of like fear and like terror must have been.

Speaker 2:

It was. It was, um, I think it was shock and I think it was like my reaction to her calling me with this news. I think my response was shock and also a bit of being younger and that feeling like you're invincible and also, at the time, like to be honest, the people that I was hanging out with weren't the best crowd. They were a little hard, and so when she told me this news, I laughed. I laughed at her and I said are you serious? And she's like Heather, I'm not joking, listen to me, I don't think you're going to make it another three months. And I had to get off the phone and then tell my parents, who were standing there, this news.

Speaker 2:

So it was a moment I'll never forget. You know like your life flashes before you and you think you know you're barely 25 years old, you're in nursing school, you're doing the right things, you're just living a normal life. You never think that something like this could happen to you, especially when you never had any prior health issues. You're a social drinker, but you're not. You're not abusing anything you know like. So it was unreal.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh, I can only imagine what that. You know what that was like. So tell me about like your parents reaction. Like you know, you said that the people you were hanging around with were hard at the time. So, like, what were people's reactions when you had shared with them your story, that that, that um, or that news, rather, that you just got?

Speaker 2:

Um, my parents, surprisingly like um, I always say that mindset is the biggest thing. And even though I got that news and maybe I was a little delusional or feeling invincible or because of the people I was hanging around with maybe I was a little delusional or feeling invincible or because of the people I was hanging around with, like, hardened a bit, at that point in my life I never believed that I was going to die. I never believed the doctors and the statistics you know the chances of me getting a transplant and my parents also. They never planned any you know end of life type of care or talked about if something happens to you or if this or if that it was like no, in a matter of time you will get a transplant, like there was just never any talk of death. Basically, um, they were my parents and my grandparents were my source of um, strength and faith through the whole process.

Speaker 1:

And um, so it seems like you know when you got that news. Uh, you know, you, you were, you already had like a lot of that determination and ambition of this is not the end. This is not going to be the story.

Speaker 1:

This is not how it's going to end yeah so, and I know you said your parents and your grandparents stood behind you and they were in. They were standing in that line of vision with you that this is not good, this is not how you're going to leave this world. Yes, yes. And so what were, like, what was the process afterwards, after the diagnosis of the stage for acute liver failure? Like what was the next thing?

Speaker 2:

Sure. So after I was diagnosed, within a week's time I was put onto the Illinois transplant wait list and I was in and out of the hospital over those next several months multiple times. I had my gallbladder removed. A month later I had my gallbladder removed. A month later I was hallucinating, which I did not know. That was a part of liver disease. When your ammonia levels get too high in the body because you can't detox, it goes to your brain and you start hallucinating. So that was another struggle.

Speaker 2:

But within those few months the doctors told me you should start looking for a living donor On top of being on a wait list. If someone passes away because this disease, they said you should start looking for a living donor. I didn't even know that you could donate a portion of your liver, so that was something I learned in the process. So my sister, multiple cousins got tested through blood work but they wanted someone actually older than me because they also look at the psychological effect of this process. So even though my sister was a blood match, they said okay, if you're to go under anesthesia, your sister is and she donates to you and, god forbid, something happens, you still pass away. What is this going to do to her. Something happens, you still pass away. What is this going to do to her? So they wanted someone older, someone a little a bit more distance from the family in this process.

Speaker 1:

Okay, yeah, so they wanted someone older. They wanted so that because of that whole psychological effect, you know they wanted somebody who'd probably understand the risk, yes, of it better as well, right that, on the receipt, on the giving end as well, right, receiving, and both understand that there is risk. Like in any surgery, there's risk, but especially when you're getting a transplant right, there's a different level of risk involved, right, right. And so there was at the time that you were in in on the list waiting to get a transplant. You said that there was about 119,000 people on the list. How many months were you on that list before you got a proper match?

Speaker 2:

So I was diagnosed March of 2014, put on the wait list in June, three months later, when I went into acute liver failure and I heard about a possible match end of January in 2015. So nine plus months later, okay.

Speaker 1:

And uh, what was it like for you then when you've got the news about that possible match?

Speaker 2:

When I got the phone call from the living donor, it was surreal and I was extremely grateful, but at the same time I felt a little apprehensive, like until the day that it happens. A little apprehensive, like until the day that it happens, I'll believe it, type of thing. Because, you know, I, I knew the circumstances. He was volunteering to do this for me and he had the rights to back out of that at any point. This was, you know, he. You were taking a perfectly healthy man to, now taking 55% of his liver. So I was extremely grateful. I kept praying that everything would work out how you know, how it was supposed to. But until the day that it happened, you know, I was a little little worried.

Speaker 1:

Yeah and yeah, and chris, he was working as a code enforcement officer out in frankfurt. Yes, yes and so, um, he called you for the for for the donating 55% of his liver. Yes, and when was the operation then? When did the liver transplant surgery happen then?

Speaker 2:

So it happened a week to the day before my 26th birthday. It was March 16th 2015.

Speaker 1:

And, and you know, just talk about what a difference you know, believing and being determined and just keeping the faith has. Because that you know, rewind, one year before you were getting the news that you weren't going to make it another three months you were. You know this was the end for you. Now, fast forward a year, about a year now you are, you know, about to get this transplant surgery. You know you, you know you kept going. You know you kept alive. I mean, you know, contrary to what they said would happen to you past three months, you kept alive. You are now undergoing the surgery. So what was it like for you then at that point? You know you got the phone call. It was right before your 26th birthday, and what a birthday present, in a way. Right yeah, what was going through your head at that time?

Speaker 2:

So as far as the birthday present, it's funny you bring that up, because that's all I kept saying to myself All I want for my birthday is a liver transplant. All I want for my birthday is a match Someone, please. And it was almost like this manifestation and I didn't even know at the time that I was manifesting this and rewind, like you said, a year before, when I got the diagnosis, then was put on the list and then was told oh, you need a living donor, which the odds of that were even worse than someone passing away and being a match. 10 years ago, a living donor match for a liver was about 2% a living donor match for a liver was about 2%.

Speaker 2:

So you know, even now I look back and it's hard for me to understand how strong I was despite those odds.

Speaker 2:

But I feel if my mind wasn't strong and I didn't have the support system that I had, and also is my health deteriorated and you know, at night I would try to get up out of bed and I would fall. And you know just all the complications, the hallucinations. When I would look at my parents and my sister and see their faces with the result of those nights or the continued bad blood tests and results from the doctors, I would see their hope and their spirit decline and I knew that if something happened to me it would destroy them, like it would destroy them. So it got to a point where, as much as like I was struggling, it didn't matter because I wasn't fighting for me, I was fighting for my family. I knew I could not leave them. Something bigger than yourself you can surpass, like any obstacles that maybe in the past you would never think you could do, you were capable of. Like your potential is way more than you even realize.

Speaker 1:

And that's a very powerful lesson you know in and of itself, to learn that. You know the power of your mindset, the power of looking at something bigger than yourself, and you know making it not in like when you were in the depths of the hardships of the health issues you were going through and seeing their hope start to glimmer and allowing that, instead of making you spiral, it seemed like you you put. You did a good job of letting that ignite fire in you to be like no, I'm going to keep fighting, I'm going to keep pushing, I'm going to. You know this is going to happen for me. I am going to get the transplant I need. I am going to live a full life.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and you know it's. It's so powerful to hear that testimony in and of itself. Thank you, those to show the power of manifestation and the power of just believing, you know.

Speaker 2:

And another thing I did, which I never did in the past, was I started to journal not like my thoughts or anything at the time, which I probably should have done, I just didn't think of it but I started to look up, like on Pinterest and Google, like warrior, fighter, survivor type of quotes and different biblical scriptures and verses, and I would write these down and on days that I was really struggling you know, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, whatever the case I would read these over and over and over and it would give me this boost that like, okay, you're going to be okay, you're going to be fine, you can do this. It was just a matter of getting to the next day.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and were there any particular quotes or any particular Bible verses that really saying to you that you still hold near and dear to your heart to this present day?

Speaker 2:

I would say. A Bible verse for me would be um no, no weapon formed against me shall prosper, and kind of a uh, not a funny quote, but something that my grandfather always liked and would ask to hear from me and he passed away almost three years ago was oh my gosh, what was it? It was God thinks, or no, hang on, let me think of it, it was. I want to say it correctly. God doesn't give us more than more than we can handle. Apparently, god thinks I'm a badass. More than we can handle Apparently.

Speaker 1:

God thinks I'm a badass and I like that one a lot. I like both of them. No weapons formed against me shall prosper. And the other one you said you know about God not giving you more than you can handle Apparently. God thinks you're badass. I love it. That's fabulous. Oh my God, I love it. That's fabulous. Oh my God, I um, you know, and it's so. It's always so nice to like have those things that you can actually use to you know, as you know, just guiding posts to you know, it's always good to be able to have, like that, you know, inspiration and have that humor. I mean you can't ask for better. So when you go into your surgery, come out, you ended up actually getting married to the donor.

Speaker 2:

I did I did Okay.

Speaker 1:

So how so was it that after the surgery you both ended up starting to date Like, did that just kind of evolve? Like how did that happen?

Speaker 2:

So we actually met in person before the about a month before the transplant, and then our families met and also before the transplant, we had a dinner before and then it was, you know, after the surgery. We were healing together. We were starting to, you know, go on walks, do different things, trying to get back to a normal life. And that's where the bond started and also this feeling of, I mean, this man saved my life. You know, he voluntarily put himself into surgery to save my life. Uh, so someone doing that, um, I felt like, wow, what else would he add to my life?

Speaker 1:

you know, I mean mean this sense of value and so, after the surgery had happened, now you met in person before your families had met, before your family met him before. Rather, um, you, you stayed in touch and then, um, like, how long, like, did you guys date before the marriage?

Speaker 2:

Oh, not long. Okay Was, let's see. Surgery was in March. We got married in October of the following year, so a year and a half Okay.

Speaker 1:

Okay, and then? So how did everything then start to pick up? You know, and you know, you got married a year, year and a half, after dating. How did everything else then start to pick up with in terms of being out in media and leading it to? You know, you've been published on many different magazine articles, you've been featured in different news segments, and you know very prominent ones as well. How did everything kind of start to catapult?

Speaker 2:

everything kind of start to catapult. So actually prior to even the transplant, the local news got ahold of it. You know, frankfurt, mokena, the towns in my area they were being, it was, the story was being published in the newspaper and I remember being in the ICU still after my surgery and ABC seven news wanting to come to interview me and I'm like can we hold off a little bit? I'm very bloated and swollen and you know, 12 hour surgery not really up for right now. So really, after we got out of the ICU, got home, after we got out of the ICU, got home, the news exploded.

Speaker 2:

I could never have imagined my story, especially like, because other people have transplants, have gone through this stuff. But I think the fact that it was someone local that I didn't know prior donated to me, someone local that I didn't know prior donated to me and then once the news got out that we were dating, um, it really exploded. Like you said, we were on, um, steve Harvey, and he, uh, we were engaged at that point and he surprised us with, uh, our honeymoon and it just it really catapulted from there and as much as it was like this. You know it looked great.

Speaker 2:

I was struggling a bit with it because I felt like all these other people have had transplants before. Why don't? Why aren't they getting this attention? Why? You know? There's nothing special about me, maybe a bit of imposter syndrome going on to turn it into instead of like, not why me, but um, I wanted to educate people. I wanted to educate them on organ donation and living donation and the power of like, of hope, of resilience, of, uh, never giving up no matter what somebody tells you.

Speaker 1:

Sure, From there. Really, it seems like they, like you, found purpose. You know, too. You know when you started getting all. You know when things started blowing up for you in terms of publicity. You know about your story and what you had to undergo, because here's the thing, though, heather, as much as you may have felt like it. Here's the thing, though, heather, as much as you may have felt like it was imposter syndrome, like why me and other people also had this too. You know, I also. You know, think, you know it's a very powerful thing that you had to undergo, right, and at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how you slice it right that this is a powerful event that you had to undergo.

Speaker 1:

Being a young, just I mean, I can only imagine what it must've been like being a young 25 year old, about to be 20, turning 25, two weeks out of your own birthday, 25th birthday and being told okay, you are basically on death row, pretty much Right, you are basically on death row pretty much right now.

Speaker 1:

You know having to wait a year later for your next birthday, and you had to pray all that time and really put the result.

Speaker 1:

You know, keep up the faith, even though things are difficult, even though you were facing hallucinations, even though you had to keep going to the hospital and you really still keeping up the faith and keeping hope for the next better day to come. Right, that in get in receiving, you know, that gift of getting a donation, a living donation. You know, and given the age you were in, I can only imagine like I don't think, most people can even begin to comprehend that Right and begin to comprehend that Right. And so you know, and I think too you know, when you say you were given purpose in your life with this donation right, that he was giving you like he was like a blessing in some way, right, by giving more than half of his liver to you and you're getting that second chance at life. Did you, do you realize now, like the purpose that you had given with all this? You know, did the media and all this um, or everything that started to happen post-surgery, did it help you understand your purpose better?

Speaker 2:

So that's an amazing question because for a long time longer than I'd like to admit it took me a very long time to realize that I knew that I was here for a reason. I knew that, you know, in my faith, god saved me. For a reason I was given this second chance. All these people that are on the wait list and pass away or, you know, don't get a transplant in time. I knew that there was something you know in me, that I was still here. But it took me a long time to come to the realization that, you know, my life didn't turn out the way I had envisioned. No, I feel like, as, as as a woman especially I mean men too, they visualize things but, like as a woman, you think, okay, you're going to go to college, you're going to meet someone, you're going to get married, you're going to have kids, you know kind of the stereotypical vision, and none of that went as planned. So, to answer your question, I realize now and accept that I wouldn't change anything that happened to me. It made me into the person I am today and it created what my life purpose is.

Speaker 2:

For a long time I was struggling with well, what am I going to do with my life. Okay, you know I was going to be a nurse, but I had to quit nursing school After my transplant. I went back to school and became an occupational therapy assistant. I lost my job in 2020 because I was the newest hire and I didn't feel, even though I got that degree and I was working in that field, I didn't feel fulfilled. I still felt like I'm meant to give more to people and so then I'm you know you're, I'm looking on different job sites and you know what I'm qualified to do, and oh no, I'm not.

Speaker 2:

I don't have this experience. I don't have this experience and I came to the realization. I'm looking to the outside for my validation in my purpose in life and my purpose is me. It is my story, it is what I went through story. It is what I went through and, as hard or as difficult as that is, it is going to bring so much meaning and hope and inspiration, motivation to other people when they are struggling, and that's, I feel, everything I went through. It's worth it. I wouldn't change it.

Speaker 1:

And what a powerful testimony right here too, you know, if you know having, you know being able to use the pain you've been through, the challenges you've been through, and turn that into a message for others, not only is it cathartic for you, but it provides wonders for other people as well to take better care of themselves and to give them hope when they're feeling stuck or in the rut or down in the dumps about something.

Speaker 1:

And we're and it's interesting that you talk about you know that path that you thought you were going to have, because I feel like a lot of times, right, we're all inundated with that message of okay, you finish high school, you go to college. Okay, after you're done with college, maybe you'll go to grad school, maybe you'll go to med school, whatever it is that you do after, but by a certain age you're going to be married and then, by a certain age, you're going to have your first kid and your second kid or whatever else may be Right. Life doesn't work out like that for everybody, right, and most often than not, you know when you're not on the beaten path. That is where the most powerful testimony of you and your purpose and your place in life comes out, and I'm a firm believer in that. I'm a firm believer that it's not always the it's not the beaten path that wins. All the time it is the one that's least taken by.

Speaker 2:

Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

You know, and I feel that you, you know, with your journey and the path that life threw at you and the path that you embraced, you were able to come with a beautiful story. Thank you and appreciate that. Oh, of course. And you know now, on a personal front now, you were married for about three years Three years, yep, and Hallmark had reached out to you During the time in your marriage where things were getting rocky, correct? Yeah, absolutely, were getting rocky, correct? Yeah, absolutely Okay. So tell us a little bit now about that phone call. Like when Hallmark called you now I know you've mentioned earlier you thought, oh my God, am I dreaming? Is this a joke? Like, what kind of prank? Is this Like right? When you talk, like, tell me a little bit about that process. Then to Hallmark reached out to you, tell me more. What was going on?

Speaker 2:

Sure, so Hallmark reached out to you tell me more what was going on, sure? So hallmark reached out and they wanted to. They asked to make our story our transplant story into a hallmark christmas movie and, like we had talked previously, hallmark stories are very like predictable. You know, small girl moves to big city, vice versa, you know, um. So I was very honored to be asked about this and shocked, but I also said like do I have rights to kind of help with the writing of the script, because I know you have to hallmark it up and make it cutesy, but I want it if I can, I want it as close to the story as possible. Okay, so that was kind of in the agreement before we signed the contract, that I wanted that as close to the real deal.

Speaker 1:

Okay, and what was it like for you then to like now, were you able to go and um, watch them, film and everything, and pick the cast and um. Were you there for some of the like the background, and were you there for some of the like the?

Speaker 2:

background so I wasn't able to pick the cast, but we were flown out to Canada for three days when they filmed so I was able to meet Amy Teagarden, who played me, and the person who played Chris, people who played my parents, my sister. It was kind of crazy watching it being filmed. They kept our real names, so they kept Heather, Ashley, Chris, Bill, Kathy, my parents, you know. So it was.

Speaker 1:

it was beyond surreal hearing these names and watching someone else playing my life and I bet that must have been a really like um, like touching uh moment to see people take on your story, embrace it, have you know, keep your names, um, and not change it, because there's a lot of times they will change even the characters names. But, yeah, they kept your names and they kept you know, they kept it close as possible so they could, you know, and I know, like, of course, like, going to your point, they probably had to, you know, change certain things and spice up our hallmark right to right of the hallmark right it really um to me, like sitting on the sidelines, in a way, watching it being filmed, with all the cameras and the props and the setups.

Speaker 2:

Um, and around christmas time as well, you know made it even more special. It really amplified to me the extent of which I didn't even realize at the time the power in my story and showing, like, not just my story, but everyone has a story, everyone has a story and we can all, as much as you, as much as I felt so alone during that time waiting for the transplant, even though I didn't, even though I knew I wasn't alone, I had family I had, I had the support. It was still a very lonely time and it just really like it was almost like a aha moment to me, sitting on the sidelines watching this being filmed that, no matter how big or small your story or you think it is or what you're going through, the impact of it, what the hope and light that it can bring to somebody else, is so powerful.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, somebody else is so powerful. Absolutely, at the time that the movie was being filmed. You had mentioned before, when we had talked, that Hallmark was showing a very peachy and rosy view of you and Chris's relationship. Yes, when in reality it was at the time when you both started going to couples counseling, yes, yes. So what was it like to see that dichotomy, you know, between what they're showing you and portraying you on film to be, and you and Chris to be, this happy, lovey-dovey, gee, rosy couple, whereas in reality you were really at. You were at that time when it was just crumbling and you were not really holding on.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that that was difficult because it went from you know when it first happened to getting all these messages from people, strangers, even in different countries, like because of your story, because of you and Chris, like it's given me hope, I'm going to keep holding on. Or my sister is dealing with this liver disease or something else and she heard your story so she's going to hold on to the next day. Like that gave as much as I was giving them purpose. It was giving me a purpose and, in a sense, of why I went through what I went through. So then fast forward to the movie. And it's a hallmark fairy tale and everyone thinks everything is just lovey-dovey, like you said.

Speaker 2:

Um, it was not, and that was very difficult because we were going through counseling for a while at that point. It didn't just start then. We were both going through individual and couples counseling for a while and we had signed the contract for this movie a while before it came out. So things continued to deteriorate and I felt like, like I said earlier, I felt like a fraud, because you're coming out with this movie Hallmark fairy tale. He saved your life and, oh my gosh, you got married and in reality we're sleeping in different beds. We're you know he's working during the day and I'm doing the housework and we're avoiding each other. So I felt very as much as people were celebrating this movie and this publicity.

Speaker 1:

I felt very guilty for coming across not how it was in real life well, this is something to be, I think, expected sometimes, especially like in like channels like hallmark, right, because when we look at it, right, we look at the predictability, right, and most the movie theme has been, you know, two people meet, they get together and then they end up getting married or it's a rekindled relationship from the past, you know, during christmas time, right, and those kinds of movies, the theme has always been people ending up happy together, right, and I feel like it's not in, and I think it's important to distinguish the fact that you know it's not like you were trying to intentionally put that out there, like, oh, everything's all great and we're, you know, happy and lovey and dovey, you know, because truth is, this was made for entertainment purposes as well.

Speaker 1:

Right, there was that entertainment component, component of you know, yes, they go to your story, the serious part of it, but they also needed to kind of spice it up for, like you said, hallmark, they had to kind of Hall it up. For, like you said, hallmark, they had to kind of Hallmark it right.

Speaker 1:

So, it's you know, so it's not a you and most people would understand right that it's you know. What happens in real life and what happens on screen are completely different.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. And and what I kind of came to realize was this what I thought was like this true love, this, you know, all these feelings for him, it really was an extreme sense of gratitude for what he did for me. He saved my life, and I feel that I, you know, maybe maybe he truly loved me. I don't know. I haven't spoken to him, you know, post-divorce, about any of this stuff, so his intentions, his love for me could have been completely pure. Mine, I feel, was a sense of realizing. It was a sense of gratitude you saved my life.

Speaker 2:

I thought I was going to die. I, you know my odds. I could feel my body shutting down, I was getting weaker. You know all these things in. You popped up and volunteered to do this for me and at the time I was like, oh my gosh, if he would, you know, go through surgery and save my life, like what else would he not? What else would he do for me? But, like he has to be, there's something in him that he has to be this great partner through surgery and save my life. Like what else would he not? What else would he do for me? But, like he has to be, there's something in him that he has to be this great partner, right? So?

Speaker 1:

yeah, and a lot of times it's easy to get confused, right, with somebody doing something for you and which he had done for you in a major way, and then confusing it with, like, like there's that sense of, okay, obligation and love that sometimes gets torped. Yes, you know, and truth of the matter is it's okay to be grateful to somebody for what they've done for you, but that doesn't necessarily mean, right, that you love them in such a way that you know it's going to end up in a different kind of relationship, right, you can still love somebody and have a sense of gratitude for a person, right. And I think a lot of times we you know people get that mistaken. You know, a lot of times our brain confuses us with that, and you know, and I'm sure you know, and it must've been also a very painful lesson to have to have learned, for you too- no, absolutely, and I think it was.

Speaker 2:

it was hard because, um, my relationships and boyfriends in the past weren't the greatest. I tended to go for the bad boy, the you know not what my parents would like. So then, having someone who saved my life and my parents love them and praising them and want them around and want to go to dinner with them, when I never had that in the past, that really, and also the media, that constant, like confirmation that this is a wonderful thing. In a young brain also that just went through a medical trauma, I wasn't able to dissect like what my true feelings were and what was just gratitude.

Speaker 1:

And that's also makes it complicated. You know, for us to realize, like, what a good relationship is and what's that's also makes it complicated. You know for for us to realize, like, what a good relationship is and what's not. And I can completely empathize with going for the wrong people. You know, I've been there myself and you know, and it's always you know, what it is.

Speaker 1:

It's easy to fall for the charmers. It's easy to fall for guys that, like, pretend you know to be all these great things when they're not. And I noticed I've fallen. You know, some of the people I fell for in my past were and I write about it in my book too in that they, um, you know, they pretend to be like, really sweet and very charming and they're very smart and they're very good looking. But, yes, but they're just. But when it came time, it's like and this is one thing that had crushed me before is okay, well, you've acted a certain way. Now why don't you want me to be your girlfriend, right, like? And so I get, I mean, I understand that. You know, finding, I think finding love is difficult, you know.

Speaker 2:

And absolutely it's. You know, I always say like, just be honest with me, like I feel, like it's very hard, I feel like so many people wear a mask today.

Speaker 1:

Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

You know, and it's like, even though you tell people, I tell people straight up. You know, man, maybe I'm interested in I would rather you hurt me with the truth and deceive me with a lie and it come out later.

Speaker 1:

A hundred percent. I'd rather be told right away hey, I'm not really feeling this, or I'll just look at you as a friend. Yeah, I'd be happy with that. I'd be like, okay, fine, thank you for letting me know. You know, I mean, I'd rather have that than be let on and only to get dissed or two-timed or find out, you know, I thought I was in this great little relationship and the guys with other women behind my back, right?

Speaker 2:

so yes, like I don't want to be deceived. Like as, as harsh as it sounds, I'm like be blunt with me, say say this, say that, because I don't want to deal with the hurt later on. Like, just be straight up with me. And it's very hard for people to be straight up and to take that mask off.

Speaker 1:

Well. Hence, you get a lot of ghosting nowadays. Yeah, people don't want to be honest, you know they won't be like, okay, I'm not really feeling this. They don't want to actually, and I think a lot of people because they're so afraid of confrontation. True, you know they just ghost, but, yes, you know, and it's so hard, but, yeah, you know what I feel like.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes, though, too, you know there's a blessing. I believe this. You know there's a blessing in being single, and it took me forever to learn this, because, you know, I grew up in a culture where it's all about. You know, they celebrate marriage, and one of the most important things especially a girl can do is get married and have a kid or whatever else, but I never wanted kids. That's one thing I knew about myself. And number two, honestly, like there's so much of a blessing that comes from being single, and you know, even when we look at your story here now, heather, you know what. Just think about all the great work you're doing right now, right, and think about the fact that you are continuing to get your story out there. Are there any exciting projects you're working on now that you could share with us?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so no, I'll get to that. That's a great point, because I have said to my parents just recently I'm like you know as much, as sometimes it's lonely and I wish I had someone that I could maybe go to dinner with or watch a movie with or whatever. I'm like. I know that it's not happening for me right now, even though I've met different men or had different relationships. It's not happening for me right now because I have this greater purpose and that's what I need to focus on, and anything else is going to distract me.

Speaker 2:

But to your question so right now I am working on becoming a keynote speaker. I've had some speeches that I have gone to been the keynote speaker for. I'm working on. My ultimate goal is to be a global keynote speaker. I would love to travel, even to other countries, and I find it so fascinating to learn other cultures and traditions and how my story could have a greater impact, to give someone hope to hold on to the next day. So that's currently what I'm working on. I'm also working on a book as well about my story.

Speaker 1:

Oh, that is amazing and that book is going to definitely help catapult you even further into the keynote speeches and stuff. Do you have any upcoming like places you're going to be speaking in the near future for keynote, or is that kind of still in the works?

Speaker 2:

It's kind of still in the works. I've been right now it's mostly been in the Chicagoland area, so the Northern suburbs, schaumburg, hoffman Estates, arlington Heights, those types of areas. It's kind of still in the works. I'm working on branding myself, creating an LLC. I feel once I establish more of who I am, that is going to help, like you said, catapult me more as well as the book. You know, like you said, catapult me more as well as as well as the book. Right now I'm thinking about kind of my brand being the survivor's edge the name.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I love that. I like the name of that. I think it has like a good kind of like a vibe to it. It has good energy, the survivor's edge.

Speaker 2:

It's like like kind of groovy, you know kind ofovy, you know, kind of yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you, thank you. So that's what I'm thinking right now um, not official, but um just just excited about moving forward with my life and um helping other people. Ultimately, like, I know how much I suffered and struggled for way longer than I thought I ever would after the transplant and it's almost embarrassing to say that it took me this long. So I want to prevent other people from getting stuck in that those emotions.

Speaker 1:

Yeah Well, heather, you are an amazing and inspirational woman. I think that people who are blessed to come across you, I mean, are just. I mean it's just like it's such an amazing experience, it's such, you know, people will be blessed to come across you. People who are People who have been blessed to come across you are just blessed. I don't know how else to just put it. You know, and I think that you know, your story is going to help so many people. Now, heather and I are going to be at the same conference. We're going to Creative Con.

Speaker 1:

Yes, we're going to creative con February 21st is the kickoff and I'll be doing my book launch. That, um Heather will be, uh, a proud guest of. Yes, I'm so happy for you, I know you. I mean, I swear I was trying not to cry during this podcast interview because I saw you tearing up and, believe me, I'm trying not to cry on Friday. So stay strong, stay strong. But yes, heather will be there. Heather, if people wanted to get in touch with you now, obviously, guys, you can always come out to the Intercontinental Hotel if you're in the Chicagoland area and come join the Creative Con Conference, because tickets will be sold that night. Or if you're just coming out for the book launch, that's cool too, but cause she's also going to be there, we're all just going to be chilling Friday nights a chill night, but but you know, coming to the conference would be great. Now, heather, wait, are you speaking at that conference or are you just kind of? Are you doing?

Speaker 2:

something I'm just attending. I will be helping uh brian swift with his workshop.

Speaker 1:

Great, but yes, yes, oh my gosh, brian swift, yes, he's been on my show too. So, for people who've been listening, yes, he has, you know. Um, so I mean, there are two amazing people. So I definitely will be attending that workshop. Granted, it's if it's the time schedule where you know things line up. But, yes, so, but we are. Yes, but, heather, if we wanted to get in touch with you, apart from attending the conference, where else can we find you? People find you.

Speaker 2:

Sure, I am on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok a little bit, but Facebook and Instagram are my main places. The Real Heather Kruger or you can email me at HeatherKruger K-R-U-E-G-E-R 23, at gmailcom oh my goodness, heather, this has been such an amazing episode.

Speaker 1:

This has been such an amazing time we had together here at this. I love it. I'm just super blessed to have had you no, I'm blessed.

Speaker 2:

I'm so grateful to have met you oh, thank you.

Speaker 1:

So grateful to you too, and what is thank you? And you're such an amazing person too, and what would you like to say for parting in like pieces of inspiration or advice, like what is one thing you would love to just share right now with people who are listening? Sure?

Speaker 2:

my one thing would be everything is temporary. When you are struggling with something, I know at the time whether it's a breakup, the loss of someone, the loss of a job, even the loss of a pet, you know like something going on in your life in the moment can feel so detrimental and not to minimize it, because it can be. I mean, I'm not going to be sugarcoated, but everything is temporary and if you just realize that life isn't happening like at you not a, it's not a punishment, it is everything in life is teaching a lesson, whether we like it or not, as hard as it is. I would not have liked to have a transplant. I would not have liked to have had a divorce. I would not have liked to had to stop an adoption process that I was going through. You know, all those things I would not choose, but at the end of the day it made me who I am.

Speaker 1:

And.

Speaker 2:

I feel, when people are going through something, you just have to pause and breathe and realize this isn't forever and you are going to come out stronger on the other end.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for sharing that and thank you for that reminder and that you know things common, things go right in terms of emotions, and that everything is so fleeting Life is fleeting in and of itself too.

Speaker 1:

Kind of reminds me of the movie Jack. Yes, you know, have you seen that one with Robin Williams? Yeah, remember the graduation speech he gives at the end of the movie. He talks about life being fleeting and he knew that he, his time was limited, right, in that movie he had some, um, he had something, some condition where it caused him to mature a lot faster, right? So, yeah, it just reminds, you know, it just reminds me of parts of that end of the speech where he talks about, you know, looking up at the sky and remembering him, and you know he talks about like something along the lines of not, you know, life being fleeting and time being limited, right and stuff. And you know it just goes to show like how, you know that and even though things happen to us that we may not like, right, it's, it's for the greater good. Ultimately, things work out in the long run.

Speaker 2:

They do, they do Absolutely, they do Absolutely. And if you think about, like, put yourself in a position of, if you were told you have three months to live, the things that you're worrying about now, the things that you're stressing about, would they really matter or would you let that go, or would you see the greater beauty in life itself?

Speaker 1:

Yes, so absolutely, you know Heather, this has been such a pleasure. Thank you everybody. Thank you, please. You know, let's give it up for Heather. She is amazing, you know. Definitely reach out to her. Instagram, facebook, email her the links will be in the show notes and also remember a creative con you know this week and at a continental hotel starting Friday night book launch. Also, my book dropped in a maze is now available for purchase on Amazon and once again, thank you all for tuning in. Um, and once again, thank you all for tuning in. And if you like this episode and want to continue hearing more amazing things out of here, please remember to rate, review, subscribe and share with your loved ones, your family, your friends, colleagues, anybody you know whom you think could use doses of inspiration and would love to hear conversations on autism spectrum, mental health or any inspirational stories. Thank you,