On the Spectrum Empowerment Stories with Sonia Krishna Chand: Autism, Neurodivergence, and Mental Health

Uncovering the Real You: Life Beyond the Bottle with Joshua Case

• Sonia Krishna Chand | Autism and Neurodivergent Mental Health Coaching Expert • Season 2 • Episode 47

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What happens when the executive with the corner office is hiding a devastating secret? Joshua Case, former VP at a Fortune 500 company, pulls back the curtain on his double life—corporate success by day, battling alcohol addiction by night.

Joshua's raw conversation reveals how childhood trauma, including sexual abuse and a complicated relationship with his father, created patterns of codependency that followed him into adulthood. Despite his success in career, he found himself trapped in a cycle of using alcohol to escape painful memories and uncomfortable emotions.

Rock bottom made its appearance when Josh got arrested after moving to Florida, despite that having been a goal. This rock-bottom moment finally pushed him toward meaningful recovery through a 90-day rehab program where he confronted his past and discovered the life-changing impact of understanding codependency. "I went 48 years of my life misunderstanding how a healthy relationship should work," he shares with striking vulnerability.

Now sober and thriving, Joshua has channeled his experience into creating SoberBuzz, a community supporting others struggling with addiction that has grown to over 90,000 followers across 43 countries. His message resonates with powerful simplicity: "If you think you have a problem, most likely you do," and "Never give up, give mental health a chance, and really look at why you're doing it."

Whether you're questioning your own relationship with substances, supporting someone who is struggling, or simply interested in the human capacity for transformation, Joshua's journey offers profound insights into breaking cycles of addiction and finding authentic connection. Connect with his work on YouTube at SoberBuzzPodcast, Instagram @SoberBuzzToken, or via email at JC@JoshCase.com.

Speaker 1:

Hello everyone and welcome to today's episode of On the Spectrum with Sonia.

Speaker 1:

Just imagine you are thriving in a career, you are working in a Fortune 500 company and you've earned your way up to VP for status in a company that is so widely respected and so people look up to a very prestigious kind of company.

Speaker 1:

But what people don't know outside that exterior is the battle that you face, one where people have described it before as the monkey on the back which is used to a lot of times describe addiction. With us today is Joshua Case. He is here to share his journey about how he was one of those people that was a VP of a Fortune 500 company, worked a lot with utilities, he was very successful in his career, but behind the scenes he was fighting just that the monkey on the back with his addiction with alcohol. Today Joshua is thriving. He created SoberBuzz, which is a community for people who not only have addiction but also for families of people who have addiction. He provides support for people who struggle with addiction and he has been sober and has remained sober ever since undergoing the treatment. So with us today is Joshua Case. Thank you, joshua, for joining today.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, thank you for having me on, sonia, excited to be here, appreciate it.

Speaker 1:

Oh, thank you. Thank you. So, joshua, why don't you tell us a little bit about your life Now? As mentioned, you were working with Fortune 500. You were doing a lot of utility work. Were working with fortune 500, you were doing a lot of utility work. Uh, you done very well. You earned, um, a title of vp in that company you were in, but yet you were also struggling with, with alcohol abuse, and I want to know a little bit like how did this journey start for you, um, in terms of addiction, in terms of also your career?

Speaker 2:

yeah, so I always had a drinking problem. You know I I drank to escape um life, to my thoughts, uh, things I didn't like to think about. You know, when I got to Engie they actually that's the Global Fortune 500 company you referenced they actually bought my company, a company I co-founded called Photosol US Renewable Energy. So I went there, so I didn't move up within the company. They bought my company and I got, you know, placed in that position and I got, you know, placed in that position. You know, I always thought like every one of my successes would make me happy or like, you know, oh yeah, just if this happened or that happened or something else happened, but those things would happen or something along those lines, and I'd be just as unhappy. I still have the same thoughts or the same things that were, you know, bothering me or haunting me from the past. Uh, still wanted to escape, you know, reality.

Speaker 2:

So it wasn't until I dealt with, like, uh, my mental, my mental health, um, in rehab back in 2020, uh, I get my years mixed up 2024. And uh, at Burning Tree Renewal Lodge in Elgin, Texas that I dealt with some childhood trauma. You know, bad relationship with my father. You know I was learned about codependency, read, had the book. My counselor gave me a codependent no more. That book changed my life Really saw what I had been doing my whole life and how I'd been really living wrong or having relationships wrong my whole life, which was like a lot of my frustration came from because I would never get satisfaction out of relationships. Well, I was doing them, it turns out.

Speaker 1:

So let's backtrack a little bit Now. You said that you've always had a drinking problem. You have dealt with some childhood trauma. When was it that you started to realize, right, that things were not right in your life, and when was the first time you picked up a drink?

Speaker 2:

So I've always thought there was something like different about me, or, you know I things affected me differently than other people, or other people just saw things a little different than me. Um, but I always wondered, like what was wrong. Uh, I never knew what. Um, you know I, I was, uh, sexually molested by a male babysitter when I was 10 or 11 years old. You know, the first time I ever tasted alcohol a male babysitter when I was 10 or 11 years old, the first time I ever tasted alcohol. My grandma gave me some of her champagne in Fullerton, California, when I was 7 or 8 years old, but I obviously didn't have a drinking problem then.

Speaker 2:

But I was around alcohol pretty much my whole life and I would say in my early 30s is when I really started drinking to escape. But I really didn't get out of control until, you know, I would say five years ago. And when I say out of control, like I was still in control, I was, you know, running a company building a company, closing deals control. I was, you know, running a company, building a company, closing deals. But I can see the progression of how it got more out of control or more extreme, more extreme to the point where you know I got arrested and that's how I ended up in rehab the last time, to hopefully not get my charges dropped, which happened.

Speaker 1:

So what were you trying to escape when you started drinking? To escape, what were you exactly trying to run away from?

Speaker 2:

Well, I mean, it was a mix of things, like if it was something that was going on in my life at the time, that. But then I would always have thoughts like almost daily, about what happened to me as a kid or my poor relationship with my father. You know I have no relationship with him now, but you know, until recently and I recently, in the last couple of years, you know, no matter how poorly he treated me, I always still wanted, always tried to get his approval for some reason. It doesn't make any sense, but it it it that drove me, drove me crazy.

Speaker 2:

And just the codependency part. You know, a lot of my, most of my relationships are transactional, or I put expectations on people that maybe I didn't even understand or they didn't, of course they didn't understand. So when I'm in relationships with people and things aren't going the way I want, it was frustrating for me, me or control. You know what I can control. You know I'm I'm like getting all spun up because people aren't doing what I I expect them to do. Well, that's not how the world works.

Speaker 2:

But no one explained that to me. You know, um, I mean, it all seems pretty simple now, but you know I I went 48 years of my life, but you know I went 48 years of my life, you know misunderstanding how a healthy relationship should work, right?

Speaker 1:

So what were you looking for, you know, when you were describing your relationship so like, how would you say? Like, first and foremost, you know, we learn a lot of our relationships from our families, right? Our first relationship we learned from our family, and so if we didn't have a working relationship at home, it makes no surprise that we won't have working relationships outside our family either, right?

Speaker 2:

I mean looking back, that makes total sense, yeah. I didn't grow up around a functional house, put it that way.

Speaker 1:

So, or a healthy house were your parents together when you were growing up yeah, they're still together.

Speaker 2:

Um, I I mean, I'm not a therapist, but I've I've looked into a lot of different personality. This you know, or family, uh, scenarios, and I mean I would say my dad's a narcissist and my mom's an enabler, and you know, uh, you know he, uh, you know he called me names growing up.

Speaker 2:

He called her names growing up when I was growing up uh it and the names that I got called like, uh, selfish, prideful, prima donna, I mean I kind of ended up all those things right. Uh, ultimately, the difference is I didn't want to be like that once I learned that I didn't have to be you ended up like what well an asshole, you know, thinking I should get, get whatever I wanted, uh, relationship for transactional.

Speaker 2:

So I felt like if I did something for somebody, they owed me um, it and that. And that's how I grew up, like you know. Money was dangled in front of us. You do, you do what you're supposed to do and you get, you get rewarded. Right, it wasn't love base. I mean the word love would be thrown around, sure, but you know it always came with strings attached.

Speaker 1:

So when you felt, when you would hear the word love thrown around in your house, what did you make of that word to mean then for you?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's a good question. Like it meant somebody was happy with me, Somebody was happy with how I was behaving. You know, growing up I was told like if I was upset about something and it was, someone didn't think it was something to be upset about. I was told my feelings were wrong. So like love, love just pretty much was being accepted, right, so not, and that's not what it is. Right. Love is kind of the opposite, Like you're accepted in spite of everything else, right?

Speaker 1:

So for you, it felt like, in order to be loved, you had to attain certain things, you had to do certain things. What was it that you felt you needed to do in order to be loved? What were those conditions and strings attached?

Speaker 2:

Well, I mean, one example I can give you is you know, I was in business with my father for a number of years. I mean it hasn't been for quite some time now, but at one point in time before that ended, he made comments to like my brothers that, uh, you know, josh is good for one thing he, he makes us money. Or like he sent a banner on a picture of a mercedes text to everybody saying, oh, look what, look what Josh did. We were able to buy this, like everything was tied to a thing, or money, so yeah, so, like you know, of course, you know, when I was successful, I bought my kids all a bunch of brand new cars, right, I bought my kids all a bunch of brand new cars, right?

Speaker 2:

I mean I didn't hold it over their head like it was when I got a car bought for me when I was a kid, but you know, it just seemed like that's what you're supposed to do. You know, I mean not that I regret it or anything, but like I think I think, looking, looking back at it, like there were other, or maybe it, I was just doing what I was. It was more of, I was just doing what I learned, or it was I was taught not not doing it, because I I wanted to, I guess, like I was supposed to.

Speaker 1:

So, it felt like everything was conditioned almost.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, like, oh, yeah, like. Oh, I'm buying my kids a car. They're going to know I love them. When it turns out like, whether I bought them the car or not, I still love them, and they know that already, you know.

Speaker 1:

So when you talk about the relationships being transactional in other areas of your life, what exactly were you looking for at those times that you were having those relationships?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's a good question because, like, if I don't know what I'm looking for, how would the other person? And if I can't explain it to them, how would they be able to decide whether they wanted to do that? I was just always I did this for somebody and, man, I can't believe this is how they're acting or this is how they're treating me. I can't believe that I asked them to do something and they didn't do it, or just stuff like that. It wasn't like, oh, I did X for somebody and I and I expected Y. It was just, I was always I mean 90% of the time like underwhelmed with you know, the not feeling I didn't get enough gratitude, I guess, or, or it's hard to.

Speaker 2:

It's not like there was anything specific I was looking for I was looking for, you know, probably I guess you know I'm a, I was a people pleaser. I had a hard time saying no, I I always wanted turns out. I was always looking for outside validation. I wanted some outside validation and I wasn't getting enough of it. You know, for whatever I did, you know, because I had, I did have self low of it. You know, for whatever I did, you know, because I had, I did have self low, low self-esteem right. Um, and until I learned that and learned that I, you know, getting getting the acknowledgement from the outside or filling that hole externally is, uh, you're never going to fill it Right.

Speaker 1:

I never filled it.

Speaker 2:

So I mean, it was a mix of like expecting things that I didn't even know what I wanted, but I was always disappointed and, you know, having low self-esteem, and it just it all, it all kind of mingles together, right, it all kind of mingles together.

Speaker 1:

Right when you look back at those relationships and you said, though, that you were looking for validation what were you ultimately looking to hear or to feel from someone?

Speaker 2:

Oh, how great I am. Josh is so great. Oh, look what Josh did, um, when it. You know it, if I, if I want to do something for somebody like that is like the last, like like um, I, that that's. That's. The wrong reason to do something for somebody is is, is looking for something like that yeah.

Speaker 1:

Was there ever a part of you that felt like you were good enough or that you were um capable or intelligent? Did you ever feel that way anytime in your life growing up, or was it always that you were kind of made to feel like you're only as good as your last transaction?

Speaker 2:

well, I mean I definitely turns out. I learned what about this in rehab. I had imposter syndrome. I mean I never thought I was good enough, I never thought I deserved what I had. Um, you know, that was one one thing. I, you know, I catastrophize things or catastrophize the future, uh, self-sabotage things. I mean I can looking back like I can say I, I did not feel good about myself, nor did I feel like I deserve something, so I ruined it Right.

Speaker 2:

Um in hindsight, it, it, it. I can see the see those actions. But um, at the time, um, if I actually cared about myself, I probably wouldn't have done half the things I did, or 90% of the things I did Like if I.

Speaker 2:

I put myself in some, you know, I, I I say this like I finally got arrested for I wasn't a criminal running around doing criminal things. But I, like I drove drunk and never got in trouble, like so many times, like there's so many things that like I felt like you know, I'm just there's no consequences to anything, because I never faced any consequences. And you know, in hindsight that was really selfish of myself. I was putting other people in bad positions, putting myself in bad positions and it just showed how little I cared about myself, right Ultimately. But I was looking at it differently, like, oh look, I get away with everything, look how cool, I am.

Speaker 2:

Which it wasn't cool.

Speaker 1:

Right. So what ultimately happened, then? For you to get arrested?

Speaker 2:

So I guess I'll pick. My dream was to live in Florida for over, you know, two decades. My divorce went through. I bought a house in northwest of Tampa, moving down there with my my girlfriend at the time, now now my wife. We had a deal, you know, we'd have doctors and therapists in place when we get there, because you know we both have have issues and we get there, and you know we both have have issues and we get there.

Speaker 2:

And uh, you know, not, both of us didn't do that. And uh, you know, I got upset. I threw some stuff in the canal cause we, you know we have a doc, uh, the house there, and uh, I, I, I just completely lost my, lost my shit, I, it was like my brain broke. I had my dream. I moved to Florida. I've got a boat now on the dock on the Gulf in 20 minutes and I still never even used the boat and it's been over a year. So it was like I destroyed my dream, got arrested, got arrested. Within two weeks I am in rehab in Texas, um and uh that you know it. It was like uh, I, I, I had, I had what I wanted and I couldn't let myself have it. And I've never been arrested before. So, of all times you know, six days after I get to Florida, I get arrested.

Speaker 1:

And was this part of the plea deal that you go to rehab?

Speaker 2:

Well, there was no plea deal. I had one charge. It just got dismissed because, you know, the judge was happy I went to rehab. I'd never been in trouble before. Of course, my brothers and my sober manager and my lawyers they use this as an opportunity to scare me, this you know, but uh, but ultimately it did scare me, but if I didn't learn the things I learned in rehab, I'd probably be drinking right now. Um, you know the codependency stuff, the dealing with the trauma when I grew up, because once I I dealt with those things, the, uh, the, the, the desire to self-medicate went away, right, like I mean, my world would revolve around. You know when I'm going to drink next, like, once I didn't have those things rattling around in my head. I had nothing to hide from.

Speaker 1:

So whose decision, ultimately, then? Was it for you to go to rehab, was it decided for you from your legal team, or did you pick up and choose to do this on your own?

Speaker 2:

well, uh, I knew I needed to go to rehab. I mean, my life was not sustainable, nor nor was uh heidi's. If we didn't. We both ended up going to rehab at the same time, because if we didn't clean up, one we could. If one of us cleaned up and the other one didn't, then we couldn't be together anymore, and if we both didn't clean up we'd end up dead or in prison or something, because we were just not making good decisions. It was just getting worse and worse and worse. So I knew I needed to go. I was scared to death that I had a charge. It was a felony charge, felony criminal mischief, one count. And you know they could have charged me with other things. I think you know they were. I think they were trying to teach me a lesson. They did, or at least taught me a big enough lesson to go get cleaned up. But I wanted to go. But if I hadn't get out arrested I wouldn't have done right. It wasn't like I was going already.

Speaker 1:

So tell me about what it was like for you when you got into rehab and what that journey was like when you first started doing the work and sobering up and getting into the sober path.

Speaker 2:

So it was my third time in rehab. I went twice in the fall of 2023, once for 30 days and once for 21 days. This last time, last summer, it was for 90 days. So I think a big thing had to do with the length of time why it worked, because the first few weeks at the last two times I went in, including the most recent, you know I wasn't happy. I was there, I was not, you know, doing the work, you know, if you will. So after a few weeks of being there, I'm like I'm here, I might as well do this stuff.

Speaker 2:

I started working with my counselor. I was being serious about stuff. I read the book codependent no more. And you know, I think that things I can see things gradually changing. Um, and I think even the other two rehab times I went to rehab, there are things I learned there that that helped me. Uh, it kind of built of built on each other, but I wasn't ready then and I wasn't there long enough to deal or get deep enough into the things I had to deal with, like I did last summer.

Speaker 1:

And what was it like for you to dig deep and actually do the work, and what have you learned about yourself in the process, and did you discover anything that was kind of a shock to you, or maybe just a wake-up call or revelation that something you hadn't been paying attention to, or perhaps buried away?

Speaker 2:

yeah, like uh one. The one of the things that we had to do, um, as we were doing our step work at uh in rehab was, uh, you know, come up with like 10 of the worst situations that you've put yourself in and or other people in 10 situations, other people and like these and like the it it was, uh, it was. They were pretty bad. Like you look at like just one or two of those things would have been like okay, you know, people make mistakes or get themselves into bad situations, but these were like really bad situations that like the consequences would have been like bad if I like got in trouble for what I was doing. Um it. So I I started looking at like the, my actions, like these aren't funny stories, right?

Speaker 2:

Like I would tell like what, like hijinks, these aren't, these are serious things that people actually do get in trouble for. I was just fortunate fortunate not to and I think it took it was probably after I was in rehab for six to seven weeks, so I've been sober for about two months so but you know, I'm kind of my head's coming out of that cloud, you know, I take I mean it takes longer than that. But I'm like starting to think straight and I'm like, you know I'm kind of my head's coming out of that cloud, you know I take I mean it takes longer than that. But I'm like starting to think straight and I'm like just like what, what am I doing?

Speaker 2:

Like in the field that you know the, the, the recovery managers there that you sit down and you go through your work with a couple of them are like Josh, like we were gang members and we we were, you know we, we were putting ourselves in some of these situations and like having things in places you shouldn't have them, where you can get a lot of in a lot of trouble. Um, you know it's just stuff like that. It's Just irresponsible. And you know I'm not hurting anybody else but myself If I did get in trouble in these situations, but the you know it would have been. My life would be a lot different if I had Got in trouble. But obviously During the time I'm not thinking like that, I'm just like no.

Speaker 1:

And when you go back and you reflect on the things that you've done, that you said you could have gotten into very big trouble for, but were fortunate enough not to. What was something that you learned about yourself while sifting through all that?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, At the time I must not have cared much about myself. Um, you know, if, if I'm I mean one of the things I'm referring to is getting on international flights with some things that you shouldn't have Um, I mean, like, like those are big consequences. Uh, did I think twice about it, Uh, when I was in? Uh, in my addiction? No, Uh, now I look back and think, geez, uh, I, I, uh, I, I could be in prison.

Speaker 1:

You talk about a lot of the book of the codependent. No more, you spoke about this. What is something about that book that really resonated with you and in what way do you feel like it helped shift some of your mentality or, you know, opened your eyes to see you in a different way?

Speaker 2:

Well, I mean, probably within the first chapter or two, I'm like this woman wrote about me. I mean literally, it felt like she was describing me. You know how I said I knew there was something wrong with me, but I never knew what this book described, how I was living wrong and why I felt like there was something wrong with me, why I felt like there was something wrong with me. You know I'm it opened my eyes to how I, my, I, I was causing, like my own, angst by by being so codependent and I I know that you know everyone's codependent to a certain extent, but, like I, I had. No, I had heard the phrase. I had no idea what it meant, um, now I like to say I can manage it of like I had heard the phrase, I had no idea what it meant. Now I like to say I can manage it, I can see when I'm being too codependent or somebody else's and I can adjust things.

Speaker 2:

Before it was, like you know, I just did whatever I did and I didn't look at the situation like all right, right, am I putting expectations on something that I shouldn't be putting expectations on? Um, am I doing this because I, I truly want to, or am I doing this because I want something in return? Am I doing this? Uh, yeah, yeah it it helps. It helps me now to question, like my motives, you know, or other people's motives, because it's a two-way street, right.

Speaker 1:

Right. Right has forgiven people, whether it be you know, your family of origin, whether it's uh, your um, the people who come and gone in your life that you've said you've had transitional relationships with, um, whether it's even within yourself. What part of you has forgiven this past part of you?

Speaker 2:

Well. So there's things that I regret, obviously, but I know I can't change the past. The difference with me now is like I would sit there and like be bothered for days about something in my past if I started thinking about it. Um, now you know, I can have the thought and let it pass, so I don't get hung up on things. Sure, so that's a big difference, because when I got hung up on things, you know, one of the things I would do is drink, you know, to get my mind off things. So you know, learning I learned how to live like in the present. Learned how to live like in the present. Uh, there's another thing they taught us, and uh, or taught me in in rehab and not dwell on the past or fixate on the future. Um right, you know not, not, I mean, it's easier said than done, but I do it like way, way less than I used to. Like that's. All I would think about is the past, the future. I would never even be in the present before, and now I'm I.

Speaker 1:

I'm able to be right, right, and it's um, no, and it's so important that we're mindful, right, and we're allowing ourselves to experience the presence and present and experience how you know what, what's happening in our world currently, right, but I think there's a huge power to also being able to forgive, right, and in the forgiveness it's not, you know, necessarily we're saying, hey, it's okay how you've treated me, it's okay that you've done X, y and Z to me. What it does is it releases that person from having power over you, right?

Speaker 1:

So even when you do go back into those moments, because here's the thing we get. You know, we all get flashbacks, you know, and I also suffered a lot of trauma too when I was growing up in terms of, I mean, we call it the little T's in therapy, but a lot of like severe bullying, being treated practically like a prisoner at school. You know just a lot of. You know, just flat, you know unpleasant flashbacks that come in, you know, and I think you know, if you know, but one thing that I think helped me is just being able to say, okay, forgive I, you know, I want to thank you for the lessons you taught me, and I forgive and I try to release, you know, and it just helps me get out of that flashback faster when I can say I'm releasing. You know, forgiving and releasing, you know, and I'm just wondering if you know, perhaps you've had those moments of areas where you could, um, I don't uh, so like, for example, like my father, for example, um, I've come to terms with, I guess, what the relationship is.

Speaker 2:

Uh, have I thought to myself do I forgive him? I, I don't think I've. I haven't had that thought like I. I've. I've come to terms with I just don't think I've, I haven't had that thought Like I. I've I've come to terms with. I just don't have relationship with him. He is who he is and uh, and I don't need his approval or I don't need his uh, um, you know, whatever it was I was looking for that I never got.

Speaker 2:

Now, when it comes to me, like I've forgiven myself, I think, for a lot of things I've done, but you know, there is kind of that overriding man. I wish I didn't waste so much time as my kids were growing up, for example, like drinking. You know, I have a. I had a great relationship with my kids. I have a great relationship with my kids now, but, like, I got described more as a friend of my kids by people, which is the complete opposite of the way my dad was. My dad, in fact, told me, growing up is, you know, he doesn't believe parents should be friends with their kids. So of course I do the exact opposite extreme and I'm my kid's buddy, but you know they saw me in a lot of inebriated situations and embarrassing situations that I wish they didn't see me in.

Speaker 1:

Have you ever had a chance to talk to them about what they had seen with you and kind of go through it together and process it as a family?

Speaker 2:

So the three of them and I, we did do some therapy together after their mom left in 2023. We've talked about it here and there, like just individually or personally. They obviously see the stuff I'm doing with Sober Buzz and you know I do talk about some of those things and, uh, you know it, uh, I think they have, uh, you know, mixed emotions that they're very happy I'm sober. They're very happy that uh, uh, they don't have to worry about what is dad going to do next or whatever. Uh, but are things that, uh, you know that I think uh are hard for them still, like, you know, their dad getting arrested.

Speaker 2:

You know they were very unhappy with me about that, as you can imagine understandable.

Speaker 1:

Understandable how they'd be, um you know, frightened or you know frightened upset about it all. That um a lot of emotions can come up when they're all adult kids just.

Speaker 2:

I mean 28 or well. My madeline will be 29 next month or in november. Mikey's 25 and my uh, my age turned 20 in july. So you know, they're, they're older, so they, they do have their own lives too now.

Speaker 1:

Right, yes, and um, have you felt like you know the relationships that you've had now with your own family? Do you think it's grown a lot better now? You know from? You know, now that you're sober and now that you, um, are seeing things differently? Um, do you feel like you know and it's gotten stronger, it's gotten better. Do you notice it, you know, different than what it was before.

Speaker 2:

So I get, I get my relationships with my family would be like, obviously, heidi, my kids, um, uh, two of my aunts and one of my brothers, uh, two of my aunts and one of my brothers, so, and I think I'm closer with, you know, my aunts and my brother, than I've ever been before. Like you know, prior to getting divorced and you know, I was kind of estranged from my family, right, I was the black sheep, you know. If you will, so for almost a decade really, I wasn't around my brothers or parents or anything like that, or my aunt and uncles, right, like I was kind of.

Speaker 2:

You know, certain people said certain things about me that kind of made me like you know, didn't didn't look so good, but now those people see that like well that those, those things necessarily weren't true.

Speaker 1:

So tell me about.

Speaker 2:

SoberBuzz Mm. Hmm, so in fall of 2023, when I went to rehab the first time at Circle Lodge, you know I had abruptly resigned my position as an executive at NG North America, which was a pretty big deal, you know. People were going to notice I left and I wanted to get my, you know, let people know what happened. I wanted to let people know what happened, so I started posting the good and the bad about what was going on with me, about being in rehab, and when I relapsed I would post about it. And I got a lot of people that were very supportive, publicly and privately, people that said, hey, I've been through this too, or I'm going through through this, or who should I talk to if I think I need help? Just a, just a, an array of things.

Speaker 2:

So, um, I did that posting every few months for about nine months until, you know, I ended up getting arrested and, uh, you know, started having the idea, idea after getting out of rehab last year, you know, maybe starting an Instagram page where I post some thoughts, you know, kind of like what I was doing on LinkedIn but on Instagram. So on May 1st I started doing that and I also kind of got antsy. I felt like I needed to do something. You know I'm not drinking, so I've got a lot of extra time on my hands. Now it feels like. So you know, in a week I had like 500 followers and 2,000 and 10,000.

Speaker 2:

And I started getting reached out to by some marketing companies about doing a podcast and I had just started doing this as kind of a hobby, right, like it's turned into more than a hobby. You know now about a little over 90,000 followers on LinkedIn, youtube, instagram, tiktok and Facebook. If you add them all, up over 43 countries. So I guess what we're talking about here is is resonating with people and, uh, and you know, people were there for me when I even when I didn't want them to be uh, you know, and I never thought I'd be sober or think I could be sober for the rest of my life, but I, I, I do believe that now and now, and uh, it's just want to get that message out there that uh, you know, just don't give up. So that's kind of what it's turned into.

Speaker 2:

Um, a lot, a lot of like what we're doing now on, like season two has sure has stuff to do with sobriety and mental health, but it's like kind of beyond that. Now, like you know, I had a had a guy, a meditation expert, on. He's been sober 38 years, but we're not talking about, like, how he got sober. We're talking about, like, the benefits of meditation. Or had Carla on, who is a consultant for the FBI and Homeland Security regarding sex trafficking. Like she, she was in addiction when this was going on. But now we're talking about, like you know, a real world issue that I don't think people realize is as significant as it is right, like it's happening right under our noses. And then, of course, we're talking to you know. Know, like I had a guy named aaron osberg from british columbia on. He's a sober life coach. So we're talking about, like things that you can do to, you know, stay sober. So it's kind of morphed into this um, uh, more about just being positive.

Speaker 2:

But we do talk about sobriety and things like that.

Speaker 2:

Um, it's a, it's a mix of things now and it seems like it's been very impactful and also very cathartic in many ways for you too well, yeah, I mean like, uh, I, one of the reasons I started posting on linkedin and I posted this like one of my first posts in 2023 is there's a stigma around this and I felt like I'm in a place in my life and career that the stigma is not going to affect me as much as it would be if, you know, maybe somebody that hadn't achieved you know as much success or whatever I felt like I could, I could come out there and just say hey, I have a problem, um, and you know I've, I've gone back and I I've done I'm doing consulting within the industry.

Speaker 2:

You know, no, no one's holding anything against me. It's at. You know, it's uh, you know people are happy that I'm back, uh, so it's uh. I don't know if the stigma is more in in people's own minds or if there's actually is one out there, cause I, I haven't felt it. But again, like you know that that that's my perspective. Um, but I, I, I hate to think that somebody out there would think that if you have a problem with alcohol or drugs and you admit it and you want to get better, that that's going to be looked down upon, right.

Speaker 1:

Well, I think it's. Yeah, I mean, there is still a lot of stigma out there. You know, I think with you know, let's just you know, if we take just in a broad perspective too, if we look at like mental health right, there's a lot of stigma. Yeah if we look at addiction right, there's still, you know, lots of stigma and I think you know there's a lot. There might be a lot of truth to what you're saying in terms of you know, because you were very successful.

Speaker 2:

Well, I will say I was embarrassed and I didn't know how it was going to go over when I did it but I was like I don't care right.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

So, if I'm totally honest, you know I was concerned but I didn't care, I guess.

Speaker 1:

Right, but I mean it's like. But going back to like, you know people's perceptions of it and I feel like you know a lot of people I think definitely there's a different response, right, depending on who it is what's being abused, right, is that you know certain substances, right, are more celebrated, or you know people don't care about as much as others, right? So if you were to come up and say, oh, you know what I have an addiction to, let's say, heroin or cocaine, right, that's going to have a different response than somebody who's like I'm having an issue with alcohol, because I think alcohol is also one of those things that people will. You know it's very celebrated in society, you know. And if you look at like, just even like, like you know, looking at like activities and things like that, right, what you know, a lot of times even drinking in and of itself is made into an activity. That's true.

Speaker 2:

Right? Well, it's just as dangerous as everything else, unfortunately, I believe, or even more so because it's so accessible. Yes, but like you say, it's so acceptable and accepted.

Speaker 1:

Right, and it's like that double-edged sword. Yeah, I agree that double-edged sword. Yeah, I agree. So what is a piece of inspirational thought or motivation you can give to people right now who are listening, who may be in their own journey with sobriety, may be in their own journey with other kinds of struggle? What is something you can say and what kind of knowledge do you like to impart with people today?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean, I obviously didn't like being like I was. I tried to quit drinking and you know, and using. I used drugs too, but it wasn't like I never went out of my way to get drugs, but any mind, I'll just say any substance that altered my, my mind. I wanted to, I wanted to not use those things for years. Right, I tried to stop drinking numerous times. I just couldn't do it and I never thought I would actually be able to. So I would say never give up and I really believe in, uh, mental health.

Speaker 2:

Uh, because if it wasn't for therapy and dealing with the actual reasons, I was drinking, like they say, like the reasons are kind of like the, the disease and the drinking or the using is the uh the medicine Right. The drinking or the using is the uh the medicine right. So, until I realized why I was doing it and then realized I could actually do something about those things, I I would have never been able to stop drinking and be happy, like I stopped at one point in time for about a year and a half and I was just as miserable or more miserable than I was when I was drinking. They said I was white knuckling it right, I never. I didn't deal with anything, I was just, you know, mind over matter, just powering through, not drinking, and it sucked completely sucked. It sucked, um, completely sucked.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, I would say, if, uh, if you think you have a problem, most likely you do. Uh, that's actually some like somebody was messaging me earlier today, like about being in a couple car accidents drinking and she's like I don't know if I'm an alcoholic or not and I'm like, well, I'm not here to tell you you are, but like, with those things have happened if you weren't drinking. And uh, you know, it's like I had the same type of self denial about things, cause you don't, you don't want to accept you have a problem. But once I did, um, I still never thought I'd be sober, so thought I'd be sober. So I was just saying never give up, give mental health a chance and really look at why you're doing it. Like if you're not, if you're, if you're doing it to have fun and you're drinking like once or twice a month, you don't have a problem. But if you're drinking every day, every other day, or you're drinking when there's problems, you probably should look at that. This is my recommendation.

Speaker 1:

No, and absolutely, absolutely. And I definitely agree with what you said in that you know if you're questioning yourself, you know then that's something to pay attention to, because if you didn't feel a certain way, why are you asking in the first place? Right, and also you know it's also, if you're drinking to escape problems, just remember that it's only going to amplify. It, doesn't take your problems away. If anything, it amplifies it and makes you feel worse about it.

Speaker 2:

Right. Well, with that, like I was messaging with somebody else the other day and I'm like, do you have regrets after you drink? And uh, and I, I always had regrets, right. So like, right there, that's a big red flag. Like I didn't want to admit it at the time, or I probably knew it, I just didn't want to, like, you know, do anything about it. I just didn't want to, like, you know, do anything about it. But like, yeah, if every time I drink, I'm regretting what I did in the morning, or wondering what I did or what I said or what I texted, I'm probably not, I'm probably not handling drinking.

Speaker 1:

Well, you, know, right, right, you know, and as somebody here I will self-disclose a little bit. You know, I had a binge drinking issue when I was like several like years ago, several years ago, and I went to therapy to work through it you know, with other things and because I used to binge eat as well, right.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, I used to do all that and, um, you know, for me, the way you know, and one of the things I did is I worked with a really good therapist who was, who understood, because I'm on the autism spectrum, understood the trauma of autism, everything. And you know, we came up with a system together, right, and that's what helped me. And you know, here's the thing Can I go out and have a glass of wine every now and again? You know, I, you know, sure, but I'm also very mindful. I'm also trying to be very careful when I do do that, not to try to overdo things or making sure where I'm always on the edge, you know, I just always very careful in general about not wanting to bring back unhealthy habits, whether it be binge eating, which was more of an issue, whether it be the binge drinking, whether it be escaping things like that. And you know, for me, that's one thing, but you know, but I think you know mental health in general. You know, giving mental health a chance, that's one thing I, you know.

Speaker 1:

But I think you know mental health in general. You know, giving mental health a chance. That's one thing. I you know there's really good therapists out there. It's just you know what sometimes and let's just be honest of course you're going to find bad apples out there, but you find bad apples and good apples in every profession, right, um, you know. But it's just about keep trying. If you haven't found somebody yet who you connected with, you know, just keep trying, because a lot of times I feel like looking for a good therapist too. It's like dating in a way. Right, you have to go out yeah, you have to actually try.

Speaker 1:

You know, like go out. Maybe you know you're not going to go out with your therapist, but like go to the therapist.

Speaker 2:

You better. The therapist has got a problem. If they did that, oh God.

Speaker 1:

You'll be like the big case book. Like ethics, you know, and the ethics course that all therapists have to take. You'll be like the prime case example of what not to do.

Speaker 2:

Right, right, right yeah. So yes, right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so yes. But Josh, where can people find you now if they want to connect with you, reach out to you, maybe join your community?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so on YouTube is at SoberBuzzPodcast on YouTube and season two comes out October 2nd and I'm already putting out shorts and stuff for four or five interviews that I've done. On Instagram it's SoberBuzzToken and you can find the same shorts there. Facebook and X are the same thing SoberBuzzToken. And then on LinkedIn, Josh Case and Sober Buzz are the two places, and then if you want to email me, JC at JoshCasecom.

Speaker 1:

Okay, excellent. Well, josh, thank you so much for your time. Thank you for imparting your knowledge and sharing your journey with us. I am positive that so many people who are going to listen to this will learn so much, and we'll find this cathartic and we'll benefit them in some ways. So I definitely want to thank you for doing this and sharing yourself with us and sharing your vulnerabilities.

Speaker 2:

No, thank you for having me on, Sonia. I really appreciate it, so looking forward to watching the episode and sharing it with with my audience too.

Speaker 1:

Oh, absolutely, absolutely All right. Well, thank you for tuning in everyone. Bye, bye.