#5 The Miseducation of Mental Illness

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Hey there, welcome to the Mental Refuge podcast. Here we talk all things mental health and Christianity. I am your host, Angela McDonald. I run my website, The Mental Refuge, where I talk about my own personal struggles, mental illness, while also being a Christian and a mom of two. And I help others by giving tips and tricks on what has helped me. To be clear, this is my story. I personally live with bipolar disorder and live with anxiety, so I know what it's like to go through the trenches of life and to feel alone. My goal is to bring you weekly tips and education on how to thrive with your mental health while giving you real examples from my own life and also provide you with a much needed dose of Jesus. I hope you stick around and stay a while. I'm so glad that you're here with me today. Wherever you may be. I have some listeners from the east coast where I am all the way to the west coast, which I think is really amazing for only having put out five episodes. And I am so, so, so thankful for that. I really want to record today because I am starting to get into a depressive episode. It just hit me in the face yesterday afternoon. And it's really got me down. And if you're watching this on YouTube, but then you might think to yourself, but you don't look depressed. And that is exactly why I want it to record this for each day. We're going to dive into the miseducation. Of mental illness. So I'll have you nine piece girls? Yes. I just referenced Lauren Hill. You're welcome. So these are common misconceptions that outsiders have regarding mental illness. But before we begin, I want to share what is making me happy today. Like I just said, I'm in a low mood right now. I'm starting a depressive episode, but I can still be happy about things. Right. Of course. So right now I'm happy. That I've had this type of self care day that I needed today. And I don't mean self care, like going out and getting a pedicure or a massage or spending a hundred,$200 in a drop of a hat. Today was an at home self-care day. I have the day off of work and I'm feeling down. So I decided that this needs to be a self care day at home. I haven't done. Any laundry, haven't washed the dishes from last night's dinner. I'm simply taking care of myself. And I'm taking a break from taking care of our home, but just for today, So after I laid on the couch for a couple of hours and watched Taylor Swift's era's tour on Disney plus again, Um, I decided to do a really good skincare routine. I took a shower. Put on makeup, did all the things. I just want it to feel pretty again. And not feel so blessed. You know what I mean? And I did treat myself to a$1 Coke from McDonald's, which is my thing. And I put on some essential oils around the house, so it can smell good. So something as simple as taking care of myself while I'm at home is really making me happy. If you're on YouTube, I want you to comment what is making you happy right now? I really want to know. I think it is so therapeutic when we find out what is making each other happy. And I want to rejoice with you. And while you're over here, I want to know what you do for self care days, because everyone has a different version of self care. Right? Okay, so now let's dive into today's episode. The miseducation of mental illness. Now. This is miseducation that people have over all sorts of mental illnesses, whatever it may be. I do have bipolar disorders. This is from my perspective, but just know this miseducation misunderstandings. Misconceptions, whatever you want to call it. As a broad range, it can go from depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia from, from anything really. So keep that in mind. So the first one. I think he's the most common when somebody looks at you and they say, I don't think you have bipolar disorder. I don't think you have depression. You don't look depressed. You don't look like you're manic. We get it. As far as I'm concerned, I feel like I mask it pretty well. Only those around me, such as my husband, my kids really know what I'm going through. A lot of outsiders really don't know what I'm going through. I think a lot of people think. That to be depressed. You have to look sad all the time. You have to look like a 2004 emo kid emo teenager wearing all black and. Um, I think that's really not the case. A lot of people who are depressed are like us where moms and dads, and we take our kids to school and we're at the grocery store and we still got to keep up with the house. And yes, we have days where we sit on the couch, like I did this morning for a couple of hours, but for the most part we've got to get on with our day. There is no look to depression. There is no look to bipolar disorder or to anxiety. We are putting on the performance of a lifetime. Leonardo DiCaprio might deserve an Oscar, but hand us an Oscar. Okay. Because you would never know how bad we are struggling. Just based on our looks, we hide it so very well. And I even have family members, close family members who don't even believe that I have bipolar disorder. And it hurts. I'm not going to lie. It hurts when they say things like, I don't think you're you have bipolar. I think you were misdiagnosed. You know, doctors these days just over-diagnosed people. That's hurtful because you know, I know what I experienced. I know what I go through. I know that I've had deep, deep, dark depressive thoughts. I've had so many thoughts of taking my life. Throughout the past 10 years or so. I know what I go through. I know the mania that I've experienced and for some, I had to tell you that you don't look, the part is very, very hurtful. The second one that I want to cover is talking specifically about bipolar disorder. So when somebody says. The weather is bipolar. Oh guys. This just falls right in line. Like what the weather is so depressing. Is it. It's whether depressed is whether bipolar, because last time I checked, the weather has no feelings. The weather has no. Emotions. The weather does not have serotonin or dopamine or any of those things. So how can the weather. Have a mental illness. It doesn't spoiler alert. So I think when somebody says something. Um, whether it's well-meaning well, intentions are not, it can be hurtful when somebody says the weather is so bipolar. When it goes from sunshine and then thunder storms and then back to sunshine, because that is just not the case. That's not what bipolar. Is. Number three in this kind of falls in line into the weather is bipolar. When somebody says something such as, oh, she's so bipolar. Oh, he's so bipolar. Are they, do you really know that for a fact? Do you actually know the person? Are you disclosing a mental illness to somebody else? Or you just say that because they go through. Uh, times of happiness and sadness. Story for you guys. I knew a girl. Who had a baby within a few months of when my daughter was born. And I had just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. And this girl was talking and she said that her baby. I was not sleeping through the night that they were waking up. And what just cry, cry, cry like a baby stew. And then a few minutes later, just be so happy and smiling and giggling. And then the mom would walk out the room, began crying again. And this girl said to me, she said, I think my baby's bipolar. And I just stared at her and I didn't know what to say. And I said, your baby's a baby. Your baby doesn't have bipolar disorder. Your baby is a baby. So I think it is so important to understand that when somebody is going through, um, even an adult, when you're going through times of happiness and then sadness all within one day, that does not necessarily mean that that person has bipolar disorder. That is a huge misconception, just because somebody gets, goes from happy to sad at the drop of a hat. That doesn't mean necessarily that they have a mental illness. Number four, another misconception around mental illness is that going to therapy once means that you are all better. I will tell you the very first time that I went to therapy. I'm went. And one of my close friends knew that I was going. And afterwards she didn't even ask how it went. She just said. Are you all better now? And I said, no. I'm not. And she said, oh, I thought people went to therapy to feel better about themselves. And I said, well, yeah, but you know, this is my very first time. It was just kind of like an intake session kind of sorta like, but I'm not all better. Especially if you have a major mental illness, if you have major depressive disorder, if you have bipolar disorder. If you have schizophrenia, Schizoaffective disorder. Borderline personality disorder, whatever it may be. Going to therapy once does not mean that you are all better. I think a lot of us with the mental illness know that. We know that we're not all better just from going to therapy once, but a lot of outsiders don't a lot of people just don't get it. The fifth misconception about mental illness is that taking medication means that you will never be unstable. So guys medication is one of those tricky things. When I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder, it took about four years for me to be put on the right dosage. I have medication, the right medication period. It just took me up. Uh, timeframe of four years for me, a lot of people, it takes a shorter amount of time. And a lot of people, it takes a lot longer amount of time. Everybody's different, but even having the right medication and the right combination of meds and the right dosage doesn't necessarily mean that we're going to be stable for the rest of our lives. We have in mental illness, we have a chemical imbalance in our brain. I don't think we're ever going to 100% ever be. Completely stable because for somebody with major depression, for somebody with bipolar, whatever it may be. Yes, everybody experiences times of happiness or sadness, but somebody with a severe mental illness can take something that would typically make somebody a little bit sad and it can throw us into eight. Deep, dark depression. We can have a flashback to an event. We can come up on an anniversary of something. I shared in my last episode, about my son's birth story and how traumatic that was for me and how that was the catalyst for bipolar disorder. Coming out in me. Um, and for the first two years of his life, for the week leading up to his birthday, I truly had PTSD. I had flashbacks to his birth. I had lots of anxiety. I was sobbing, crying. I fell into a deep depression for his first and his second birthday. That was real to me. That was a. Something that people might think that is just a sad moment. It turned into a deep, dark depressive episode for me, two years in a row. And even now I consider myself stable. Four. Pretty much the most part of 20, 21 and 2022 for about two years, I consider myself very stable towards the end of 2022. I started having more and more frequent depressive episodes. And I have, especially the past few months. I have had medication changes even a month, month and a half ago, I added on another medication. I have taken away medication. It is something that is going to happen. More than likely for the rest of my life. So that doesn't necessarily mean that I can't do anything. I still work. Part-time I'm still a mom. I'm civil wife. I still have my normal responsibilities every day. Just like you probably do. But even though I may have times of stability, I will also have times of being unstable and that is okay. And the very last misconception about mental illness. I can't drum. I think a lot of people think that you can be cured. Guys, if you have something major, if you have a mental illness. It cannot be cured. Especially something like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, all the major ones, it cannot be cured. But it is manageable. Just like I just talked about, we can have periods of stability and we can also have periods of being unstable. It is manageable when we are properly diagnosed, will we have a lifelong personalized treatment? We go to therapy, see the right therapist, which can take some time. And I'm going to talk about that in a future episode. When we go to a psychiatrist, when we're on the right medication, when we are properly treated and we have lifestyle changes, maybe it's with exercise or diet or whatever it may be. There is no cure for our mental illness. There is no cure. We can take all the medication in the world. It's not going to cure it. But whatever we're going through, whatever mental illness we have, it is treatable. So, if that is you, if you get depressed, By the fact that you have a mental illness that can't necessarily be cured. Don't lose hope because it is treatable. And you can get help and you can get better. Even if we can't be cured, we can get better. I can't end this episode without telling you again about my rescued and restored workbook is a 65 page downloadable mental health workbook. It is filled with worksheets prompts, sleep trackers. And scripture to read in times of anxiety and depression. This is not your mama's old fashioned journal. This is a mental health workbook. And it is jam packed with stuff, and I really don't want you to miss out on it. Simply head on over to the mental refuge.com and you can find the rescued and restorative workbook under the shop tab and be sure to enter in the code podcast at checkout to get 15% off. I hope you enjoy today's episode. If you will, please leave a review of this podcast. It really helps spread the words to others and believe it or not, it helps people find this podcast. I be have a great rest of your week. I'll talk to you soon.