86. How to Choose the Voices That Belong in Your Creative Space

Are you getting feedback from the wrong critique group? In this episode, I share why surrounding yourself with the right writing community is essential for novel writers. I'll show you how to find critique partners who actually read your genre, build a supportive writing community that accelerates your craft, and know when it's time to work with a developmental editor or book coach.

Whether you're drafting your first manuscript or seeking feedback on your latest chapters, I'll help you intentionally choose the voices that belong in your creative space. Learn how to "read up" to improve your writing, protect your confidence while finding your people, and invest in teachers and editors who truly understand your vision. Perfect for fiction writers and aspiring novelists at any stage of the journey.

Find me at nicolemeier.com | Manuscript Evaluations | Developmental Edits | Book Coaching

Transcript

THE WHOLE WRITER EP 86 - How to Surround Yourself With the Right People

[00:00:00] Nicole Meier: Whether you're drafting your first chapter or revising your 10th manuscript, whether you have a budget for courses and coaching, or you're stitching together your education from library books and free podcasts, you deserve to be surrounded by the right people, people who get you, people who see your vision, people who make you feel less alone in this often solitary work.

[00:00:24] Nicole Meier: Because the truth is the people, the voices, whoever you invite into your writing life will shape not just your work, but your confidence, your growth, and your staying power as a writer.

[00:00:44] Nicole Meier: Welcome to the whole writer. A place where we talk about what it means to show up as a writer, not just a better writer or a more productive writer or a published writer, but a whole one. Someone who's grounded in their voice, in their community, in their creative path, even when the world tells them to hustle, compare, or conform.

[00:01:05] Nicole Meier: I'm Nicole Meier, a multi published author and book coach. Who believes that nurturing the person behind the page is just as important as refining the words on it. Each week we'll explore the terrain of writing life with honesty, warmth, and practical wisdom, creating space for you to write from a place of wholeness rather than depletion.

[00:01:25] Nicole Meier: Whether you're drafting your first manuscript or publishing your fifth book, you'll find conversation and companionship for the journey here. So settle in, bring your questions and your curiosity and let's discover what it means to write and live with authenticity and purpose.

[00:01:45] Nicole Meier: Well, hey there writers, I'm glad you're here with me today on this solo episode. Alright, so I got a message recently from a writer that I work with. She was feeling completely deflated. This is because her writer's group had just given her feedback on her latest chapters, and it was harsh, too harsh, the kind of feedback that makes you want to close your laptop and not open it again.

[00:02:09] Nicole Meier: As she shared what they said, I felt a suspicion creeping in. So I asked her a simple question. Are these people your ideal audience? Do they typically read books in your story genre? She immediately responded back, definitely not. They never read books like mine. In fact, they're the complete wrong demographic.

[00:02:28] Nicole Meier: Well, there you go. Once she realized this, this writer felt much better. The weight of their comments lowered to an appropriate level and allowed her to keep writing forward. This happens more often than you might think, and it's why I wanted to talk today about something that doesn't get nearly enough attention in writing circles.

[00:02:47] Nicole Meier: And that's the people we surround ourselves with on this journey. Not just in a networking kind of way, but in a much deeper sense. The voices we let into our creative space, the energy we absorb, the people who either lift us up or sometimes without meaning to hold us back. And here's what I want you to know right from the start, wherever you are in your writing journey.

[00:03:12] Nicole Meier: Whether you're drafting your first chapter or revising your 10th manuscript, whether you have a budget for courses and coaching, or you're stitching together your education from library books and free podcasts, you deserve to be surrounded by the right people, people who get you, people who see your vision, people who make you feel less alone in this often solitary work.

[00:03:36] Nicole Meier: So today we're gonna talk about how to build that circle intentionally. Because the truth is the people, the voices, whoever you invite into your writing life will shape not just your work, but your confidence, your growth, and your staying power as a writer. So let's get into it and talk about finding your people.

[00:03:58] Nicole Meier: Let's start with something simple that you probably already do reading, but I wanna challenge you to think about who you're reading and why. So emphasis on the who and emphasis on the why. Because when we only read at our current level or below, we can start to feel a little too comfortable and comfort.

[00:04:17] Nicole Meier: While Cozy doesn't always help us grow, that's why I like to do what I call reading up reading writers who are just a bit beyond where you are right now. So writers whose craft makes you pause and think, how did they do that? That's where the inspiration happens. These are your aspirational influences.

[00:04:39] Nicole Meier: The writers who make you want to sit down and try something new, take a risk, stretch yourself. For me personally, this includes authors like Barbara Kingsolver, Charlotte McConaughey, and Sue Monk kid. These are the kinds of writers who I can really fawn over and not in a, I could never do that way, but more of an I can do better way.

[00:05:04] Nicole Meier: So think about the authors or books that would qualify as reading up for you. Maybe it's in the way they handle dialogue. That sounds like real people talking, but somehow better. Maybe it's how they weave them through stories. So subtly you didn't even notice until you're crying towards the end of the book.

[00:05:24] Nicole Meier: Maybe it's their sentence level craft, the rhythm, the precision, the poetry of it all. When you read work that challenges you just enough, it plants seeds. You start to internalize what's possible. Your brain begins to pattern match in new ways. You find yourself unconsciously experimenting with techniques you've absorbed, and here's the beautiful part.

[00:05:48] Nicole Meier: This costs nothing but time and a library card. You're literally surrounding yourself with masters mentors, guides who are generously showing up and showing you what they've learned through their published work. I want to encourage you, make it a practice to regularly read someone who intimidates you, just a little, someone whose work you admire so much.

[00:06:11] Nicole Meier: It almost hurts. Let yourself be the student in the room who's learning because that humility, that openness, it keeps you hungry. It keeps you growing. Now let's talk about something that can feel vulnerable and scary, and that is sharing your work. Finding the right critique partner or writing group can be life changing.

[00:06:33] Nicole Meier: Yes, but, and this is important. Finding the wrong one can be quietly devastating. Here's what I mean. Imagine you're writing a playful pop culturey, young adult romance full of banter and first kisses. And you share your chapters with someone who exclusively reads and writes historical biographies and dry nonfiction.

[00:06:55] Nicole Meier: They might be a lovely person. They might give you feedback, but are they your ideal reader? Probably not. I know this sounds like a dramatic comparison, but I'm telling you, I see this kind of situation all the time when feedback comes from someone who isn't aligned with your genre, your audience, or your sensibilities.

[00:07:14] Nicole Meier: It can feel confusing at best. Discouraging. At worst, you might start second guessing choices that are actually working perfectly for your target reader. You might try to quote, fix things that aren't even broken. Your ideal critique partner or partners are people who read and love the genre you're writing in.

[00:07:36] Nicole Meier: Understand the conventions and expectations of your audience. Share your values about what makes a good story, can be honest without being harsh. Celebrate your wins as much as they know your opportunities for growth. Sounds pretty good, right? And I know finding these people isn't always easy, especially if you're in a small town or if you're riding something that feels very niche or if you're just starting out and don't know where to look yet, but they're out there online writing communities, genre specific groups, local libraries, writing conferences, social media, hashtags for your genre.

[00:08:16] Nicole Meier: These are all places to start looking. And when you find even one person who truly gets what you're trying to do, hold onto them. Nurture that relationship because aligned feedback isn't just helpful, it's validating. It reminds you that you're not shouting into the void. Someone hears you, someone sees what you're building, and if you haven't found your people yet, that's okay.

[00:08:41] Nicole Meier: Keep sharing carefully and selectively. Protect your work and your confidence while you search. Your people are looking for you too. Let's move on now and talk about education, not in the formal expensive sense necessarily, but in the sense of you continually learning and growing as a writer. Okay? You know that feeling when you're listening to a podcast or reading a craft book, and it's like the author is speaking directly to you.

[00:09:10] Nicole Meier: They understand exactly what you're struggling with, exactly what you need to hear. That's not an accident. That's alignment. The writing world is full of incredible teachers, and here's the thing, not every teacher is your teacher, and that also is okay. Actually, it's better than okay. It means when you find someone whose approach resonates with you, whose philosophy matches yours, whose teaching style clicks, it's powerful.

[00:09:39] Nicole Meier: Maybe you're drawn to teachers who emphasize intuition and emotional truth over rigid structure. Maybe you love teachers who give you beat sheets and formulas because that scaffolding helps you feel secure. Maybe you need someone who talks about the spiritual side of writing or someone who's all business and practicality.

[00:10:00] Nicole Meier: What really matters is that their voice empowers you. After you listen to their podcast or read their chapter, you feel more capable, not less. You feel excited to write, not discouraged. You feel like you have tools, not just more things to worry about. And here's what I really wanna emphasize in this part.

[00:10:22] Nicole Meier: You can actually curate an incredible education across all budget levels. So if money's tight right now, there are lots of free podcasts, just like the one you're listening to right now. There are YouTube channels, blogs, and newsletters, and so much more. Many established authors share generous amounts of their wisdom for free because they remember what it was like to be hungry for knowledge and short on funds.

[00:10:50] Nicole Meier: If you do have a little to invest, however, a craft book here or there, a single affordable course, these can be transformative. If you're in a position to invest more significantly, workshops and longer courses can accelerate your growth and connect you with community. What really matters is that you're intentional about who you're learning from, that you're choosing voices that build you up, that speak your language, that help you become more of the writer you wanna be.

[00:11:21] Nicole Meier: You deserve teachers who see you, who get what you're trying to do, who make you feel like your goals are not only possible but worthy

[00:11:33] Nicole Meier: writers. If what we're talking about today is resonating with you, this idea of honoring both your craft knowledge and your creative intuition, that's exactly the kind of work I do with writers inside my coaching and editing services. Whether you're looking for a big picture, manuscript evaluation, in depth, developmental edits, or ongoing monthly coaching.

[00:11:56] Nicole Meier: My goal is always to help you find clarity, confidence, and momentum in a way that feels creative and authentic to your voice. You can learn more about these options@nicolemeyer.com.

[00:12:13] Nicole Meier: Now let's talk about something that might feel a little like future concern if you're early in your journey, but I think it's valuable to think about it now, and that is working with a professional editor or book coach. I know what you're going to say right now, but Nicole, you're biased because you are a book coach and a developmental editor.

[00:12:32] Nicole Meier: Yes. Guilty as charged. I'm biased. Remember, I've also been an author who has worked with the wrong people from time to time, and boy did it mess up my writerly mojo. Here is the thing about hiring someone to help you with your work. It's not just about getting corrections or feedback, it's about finding someone who truly sees and understands your vision for the story.

[00:12:57] Nicole Meier: You want someone who gets what you're trying to do, who can see the book you're reaching for, even in the messy early draft. Who can help you make more of it than what it already is, rather than turning it into something else entirely. The difference between an editor who treats you like a number, just another manuscript in the queue, and one who genuinely connects with your voice and vision, that's the difference between feeling processed and feeling seen.

[00:13:25] Nicole Meier: When you work with the right editor or coach, they can help you level up your craft in ways you might not even imagine yet. They can spot patterns in your writing. You've never noticed. They can ask you questions that crack open new possibilities. They can validate what's working while gently redirecting what's not.

[00:13:44] Nicole Meier: And I know professional editing is an investment for many writers. It's something you save up for, plan for maybe even lose sleepover because it matters that much. So when you're ready to take that step, please be selective. Look for someone who has experience with your genre, whose communication style feels supportive and clear, who offers a sample edit or phone consultation so you can see if you're aligned, whose past clients speak warmly about the experience and who makes you feel excited about the work ahead, not anxious.

[00:14:21] Nicole Meier: You don't have to rush this, but when the time comes, know that investing in the right person, someone who genuinely champions your vision, can be one of the most affirming and growth accelerating experiences of your writing life. All right, writers, before we close, I wanna touch on something that might seem like the flip side of everything we've talked about, and that's knowing when to step back from certain voices or people.

[00:14:47] Nicole Meier: Surrounding yourself with the right people. Also means creating boundaries with the wrong ones. Maybe it's the family member who asks every holiday when you're going to write a real book. Maybe it's the writing group that's become more like competition than support. Maybe it's the Instagram account that makes you feel like you're failing because you're not hitting milestones as fast as they are.

[00:15:10] Nicole Meier: You are allowed to protect your creative space. You're allowed to mute, leave, unfollow, or simply stop sharing your work with other people who don't get it or who make you feel small. This isn't about surrounding yourself with only people who give you praise, trust me. But it is about surrounding yourself with people who want you to succeed, who see your potential, who offer honest feedback from a place of respect and understanding your writing practice is precious.

[00:15:40] Nicole Meier: Your creative energy is finite. You get to be intentional about who has access to it. So I think this is what I want you to take away from today's episode. You are not meant to do this alone. Amen. Hallelujah. And you're not meant to accept whatever community or guidance happens to show up. You get to be intentional.

[00:16:05] Nicole Meier: You get to seek out the writers, teachers, readers, and professionals who align with your vision, your values, and your goals. Read writers who inspire you to reach higher. Find critique partners who truly understand what you're creating. Learn from teachers whose voices feel like they're speaking directly to you, and when the time is right, invest in editors or coaches who see your vision and want to help you realize it.

[00:16:34] Nicole Meier: This isn't about being exclusive or elitist, it's about being intentional because the right people, the ones who truly get you, will help you not just improve your writing, but fall in love with it all over again. They'll help you keep going. When it's hard, they'll remind you why this matters. Your writing deserves that kind of support, and so do you.

[00:16:57] Nicole Meier: I'll see you next time on the whole writer. If you're craving support in integrating everything we've talked about today, if you want to strengthen your craft without losing the heart of your story, I'd love to walk alongside you through manuscript evaluations, developmental edits, and monthly book coaching.

[00:17:16] Nicole Meier: I help writers like you to create stories that feel whole and alive. You can find all the details@nicolemeier.com or at the link in the show notes. And of course, if you just want to keep learning together, stay tuned for more episodes like this one.

[00:17:36] Nicole Meier: If you want to check out my coaching programs for fiction writers, visit nicole meyer.com. That's M-E-I-E-R. And if you like this episode, I'd love you to take a minute to leave a rating and review for this podcast. This will help more writers like you to discover the show and to get going on their writing journey.

[00:17:57] Nicole Meier: Thanks so much for listening. Until next time, happy writing everyone.