Fake it Till You Make it : a Hair Stylist Podcast
Fake it Till You Make it : a Hair Stylist Podcast
SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO QUIT: OVERCOMING IMPOSTER SYNDROME
Ever wrestled with that nagging voice in your head that says you're not good enough, or that you don't truly belong at the top of your game? Our latest episode peels back the curtain on the ever-present imposter syndrome, sharing not just my own tales of navigating these treacherous waters but also the personal stories of others.
Parenthood, with its profound shifts in identity, can often compound these feelings of fraudulence, and we're laying it all on the table. We share the raw emotional journey, from the milestones that make us question our role in our children's lives to the disassociation that can shock us at the most unexpected times. It's a chapter about embracing the chaos, seeking therapy, and finding support in the midst of transformation. Meanwhile, we also spotlight the sweet successes and challenges that come with leadership and entrepreneurship, revealing how we aim to mentor and inspire our teams at the salon and beyond.
Wrapping up the conversation, we toast to the victories, no matter how small, and acknowledge the necessity of pausing to appreciate them. After all, finding fulfillment in our accomplishments often requires reaching out for support, and there's no weakness in that. So join us for an episode that's not just a heart-to-heart discussion but an empowering embrace for anyone fighting the silent battle against self-doubt. We're all in this together, and together, we can make it.
Welcome back to Fake it Till you Make it.
Speaker 2:I'm Brittany, I'm Chloe, and this week's episode will be focused on why, even as business owners and leaders, everyone can still have imposter syndrome.
Speaker 1:So we've been gone for a minute. We're sorry. Life has kind of been crazy. I was moving and also my best friend was just recently diagnosed with cancer. I was moving and also my best friend was just recently diagnosed with cancer, and that's been a lot and I've been trying to help her and be there for her as much as I can. So that's been a thing. And we also hired.
Speaker 2:we brought three new people onto our team, so yeah, yeah, it's been a crazy past like two months but I'm glad we left you guys with such a good last episode.
Speaker 1:Yeah we enjoyed that so much and we are always open to you guys giving ideas out. If there's other guests you'd like us to have on or topics, totally shoot us a message, dm us, let us know what you're into hearing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I think we're going to go to a little bit of information about imposter syndrome for those who might not know what it is or may have never experienced it before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I don't have that and I didn't really know what it is. I mean, I kind of had success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's efforts or skills and then so people suffering from imposter syndrome may be at increased risk of anxiety, and I can definitely relate to that, because there are some nights where I go to bed with like crippling anxiety from the work I put out, just because, even if I think it's good and I never don't think what I put out is good it's more so like that constant need to be better at what I did the first time around. And then around 25 to 30% of high achievers might suffer from imposter syndrome and I guess at 70% of adults probably experience imposter syndrome at some point in their life. Because you were saying, even with like the class today, like there's still slight, like imposter syndrome in some ways maybe, if it's not like a serious one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I haven't been too stressed or nervous about it. I think for me, the thing I think about is are people learning the same way I learn like? That is something I think about more than like meeting their standards, if that makes sense. It's not really like I don't think of it in that way if that makes sense, you're more so.
Speaker 2:Are they going to understand the way you're? Yeah, my style of teaching? Yeah, um, and then women as a whole um 75 of female executives have slash do experience imposter syndrome. So if you're listening to this um, you might also struggle with it, and it's important to know that you're not alone. So, yeah, which I'm not sure like why I experience it so much, because, although, like, my parents were like an A and B kind of household, I never felt like they had high standards of me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I never felt like that. I don't feel like my parents ever held me to like crazy standards or anything like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I feel like they had expectations of like how we should be, or like I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. Other than that I definitely don't feel like they had high standards of me, though yeah, I wouldn't say they like didn't believe in me either. Would you like say that at all?
Speaker 1:I don't know how to describe how my parents, my parents, were. I don't want to say they were hands off and they're never going to listen to this, so they're never going to listen. I don't want to say they were hands off, but I think they were both very preoccupied with their own lives, that they really, as long as I was passing, it was they were. They were chill. You know what I mean? It was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so your parents didn't care about like A's and B's even? Really, no, not at all.
Speaker 1:It was never like oh, you got a C, you're grounded.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would have been grounded for a C no never, which my mom's probably like. You're outing me right now bitch?
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it was like we want you to, you know pass Right, I think too, coming from like so many siblings, that probably played a role in it.
Speaker 1:Well, and two so this is kind of something we talked about last night Like I have a learning disability and had an IEP, so I think that that also plays into a part where, like you know what I mean Like I want to say like of my oldest son, like I, like I know he's so smart, like I know that he's capable of like getting a's and like with minimal effort. So I do feel like I don't want to say I hold him to that standard because I don't expect him to always get a's, but like in the stuff I know he thrives in, like if he were to get like a, b or c and like social studies, I'd be like what are you talking? Like, why did that happen? Like you love history. Like why would you know what I mean? Like I would know that it was because he was doing something. Like like just being lazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly where I feel like my parents were like we just want you to pass. And not that I was dumb, because once I was in high school, like I wasn't, I didn't have an iep anymore, like I was taking all like college prep classes, you know, and I was able to be where I needed to be. But you know, I don't think that they pushed too hard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I feel like hold on, I want to check this quick just to make sure, yeah. And then, when it comes to me, like I was tested for, like advanced classes and even in kindergarten, they literally put me in class with the first graders. So I definitely excelled at a very quick level, I would say, and then I definitely had a slowdown at some point, I think like most like smarter kids do, which I don't want to be like oh I'm so much smarter than you, brittany, because you had a learning disability.
Speaker 1:But I think for me too, it's like different ways of learning. Like if I like I can't like copy like I was just thinking about this like I can't copy notes and retain any of that information. Like if I sit there and actually like can see my teacher talking and like telling me things, I can retain that information, but if I'm like stressed about writing it down and thinking like my handwriting sloppy I'm never going to be able to like that would like stress me out. So I like like I was actually really good in social studies, Like I always like did so well in that, but I never took notes and my teachers would be like you got to take notes. I'm like I can't, like I'm not going to be able to read it. Like if I focus and listen to what you're saying, like I'll retain it, but when I'm doing multiple tasks at once, like trying to listen and trying to write, like that wears me completely off.
Speaker 2:I was definitely not a note writer at all, but I also cannot retain information with someone talking at me. You know, I can't like that's just I don't feel like either of those are my learning. I definitely think like hands-on is where I learn best. Like, if you're engaging me, then I'm going to like be engaged also, but, um, I like can't handle someone talking at me. If I'm like sitting there in a lecture, I'm my eyes are on everything else that they possibly could be on. Like I cannot sit there and listen to someone.
Speaker 1:I think it has to be something you're interested in, like. For me, it definitely had to be something I was interested in, like if I wasn't interested in it, I was like it was different. But see, I can't, I do better. Like I do better with like audiobooks, like me actually reading something, something with that. Like I don't feel like I retain what I read, if that makes sense I, yeah, and I cannot listen to an audiobook because I can't pay attention.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like, if I'm listening to that, I'll be like thinking about 20 other things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I can't. I can't read Like I. Once I read I'm like I have no idea what I just read. But if somebody's telling me it I can retain it.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, I definitely not like be able to pay attention at all to anything. Um. So yeah, I definitely think maybe at a young age I received praise, probably for doing well and being successful or like successful, but like being like good at things, and you're always like trying to achieve that.
Speaker 2:That praise me probably yeah, and I think when you do have five siblings, there's definitely competition in some way. There has to be. I had a sister that was 13 months older than me, yeah, so I think there's like how can you get attention, how can you get like recognition, you? I feel like that has to be somewhat in part of it, a part of it. I was like imposter syndrome as a whole.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I I don't really know why I don't experience it Like as far as like the business and like my work goes, like I feel like super confident in that. I mean obviously if I do something and I'm like, ooh, feel like super confident in that. I mean, obviously if I do something and I'm like, oh, I know I could have. I like know, I could have done it better, like that stresses me out. You know, I definitely think about that.
Speaker 2:But and that's also just like knowing that you could have done it better. Yeah, like literally just flat out, yeah. Yeah, it just doesn't like sound so stupid to say, but it's like you just know you could have went about that a different way.
Speaker 1:And then when you get in your head sometimes yeah, so I have anxiety and like stress about that, but I don't think that's imposter syndrome. I think that's different. I think what you experience is a lot different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like. So I have perfectionism, imposter syndrome, which is kind of like very dimmer gloom because you have to like, you're constantly tasting this like idea of like everything has to be absolutely perfect and do you feel like that?
Speaker 1:that is something like you are setting those standards, or do you feel like you're trying to meet, like society and somebody else's standards?
Speaker 2:oh, it's me, yeah, like it's nobody else. Nobody is telling me like, like I'm not comparing, I never let me think about me. You know, I don't compare myself to like anybody's like success. I don't compare myself to like anyone I meet, like I'm never looking at them like, oh, I wish I could be where they're at in life. Um, that's not me at all. I just have this like weird thing that I like it's almost like an obsessive thing, like I will sit there like obsessing about every small little detail that I could have done better, even if it's like just just such weird things.
Speaker 1:That doesn't sound fun. Like I don't. I definitely my brain doesn't work like that.
Speaker 2:No, it's definitely not fun and it's definitely like some source of approval, but it's not necessarily a source of approval from other people. It's definitely just like an approval of myself, which is a really interesting thing.
Speaker 1:I mean obviously like I think it's always good to want to be better and to strive to like be your best self, but I mean this is like that on, like crack, like like you're real. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:You're just really hard on yourself, I guess yeah, definitely, um, and I think a lot of people I think a lot of people probably are like, especially if you were like raised in any sort of way where your parents like were kind of I don't know my mom's gonna kill me so much for saying my parents were hard on me, but I just feel like you have this like image of yourself and like I I don't know why you're not able to like look at it as I've come so far, because you almost are able to see that, but you also see, like what more you could do. Yeah, so I feel like it does affect my I was like what's the next thing?
Speaker 1:Like you can't be satisfied in the moment. Yeah, exactly Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so like, for example, there will be someone I've done their hair and I could like how it turned out. I could really like how it turned out, really like how it turned out. But like just I almost can read people's like tone shifts so much because I get in my head so much about everything. So like if someone seems like slightly just like hesitant or off, or maybe they're having a bad day, but like I'm taking it and I'm internalizing it and I'm making it like they're not happy about their hair, yeah, and then I'm like well, this little piece right here.
Speaker 2:Maybe that didn't pick up toner well enough, so they're not happy about their hair, yeah. And then I'm like, well, this little piece right here, maybe that didn't pick up toner well enough, so they're gonna go home and look in the mirror and see that little piece of hair right there. And then I'm laying in bed at night like, just like thinking and thinking and thinking about like that one little piece of hair and they're going to message me and they're going to be like this is too yellow and yeah that's a lot yeah.
Speaker 2:Which I know, like you've said before too, you definitely experienced somewhat of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's kind of what I was saying. Like if there's something with somebody's hair that just doesn't take the way I know it should have or the way I want it to, I'll obsess about that for sure. I'll think about that Like shoot, I wish this came out better or different, and that I like I I also know that like it was out of my control, I guess, if that makes sense, like I know, I did what I needed to do for it to be right, and sometimes shit just doesn't you know what it's supposed to do. I mean, I still stress about it, but I think I feel like I think about it differently too.
Speaker 2:I think you could go back to like people pleaser tendencies to you also, don't you agree? Because, like I'm, I'm getting better now at this point in my life of not being a people pleaser, but I definitely was when I was younger. So I think, like it's this idea that you want everyone to like you.
Speaker 1:You don't want to be like shit to anyone yeah, I mean, I never want to like, I don't want to ever be mean to anybody, but I also don't. I don't want to say I don't care because I care about my client. No, I'm not like a lot, but like that's not what I was saying.
Speaker 2:No, it's more so like I want to be the like, the best at what I'm doing. So like that's what I mean by like shit. Like I don't want to be like a shitty, like hairstylist, like I feel like I'm. Like, if they're looking at it a certain way and they're seeing that one little thing, I think they think I'm complete shit, like that's where my mind goes, and yeah, so that's kind of what I meant, which is worse actually.
Speaker 2:So there are five types of imposter syndrome. So there's the perfectionist, the expert, the natural genius, the solstice Soloist, soloist sorry, I literally can't read and the super person. So there's a couple tests you can take online and figure out, like what type of imposter syndrome you might have if you feel like you experience some similar things you might have. If you feel like you experience some similar things. Like I said, I'm definitely the perfectionist, which we're reading from verywellmindcom, and that involves believing that, unless you were absolutely perfect, you could not have done better. You feel like an imposter because of your perfectionistic traits and make you believe you're not as good as others might think you are. Um, which, like, if you ask anyone, I'm not like that about like anything except work yeah, see where I feel like I'm like you feel like you could be more of a imposter syndrome in parenthood.
Speaker 2:Yeah then, career.
Speaker 2:A lot of times it's weird like I'm like dude, I have like three kids, like this is great, like adulting, like at home, like I want, like if my house is like a mess and like not clean like I, like I can't handle that, like it stresses me out so badly, like I can't like focus or think or do anything like and there's like shit everywhere yeah, that's definitely like a control aspect, because it's like, if you have control over this one thing, all the chaos that's happening around you makes you like, yeah, it makes you feel more normal, makes you feel more taken care of, um, but yeah, tell us a little bit more about just experiencing imposter syndrome as a mom, because I think that's totally relatable to a lot of women Like and people who identify as moms.
Speaker 1:I feel like, exactly. I feel like some and people probably are going to like not believe that I like feel like this way, but like I feel like some people, like their whole identity is like a parent and sometimes I forget that I'm like somebody's parent. Does that make sense? Like it's, I'm like, oh yeah, like I got that, like I forget about them, but like I don't know, it's weird, I don't know how to describe it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think I feel like some people like in our minds we're all still like 13 years old. Yeah, uh-huh. You're like how can?
Speaker 1:I possibly like have three kids, three kids, one that three kids, One that's literally graduating Like that's. I just like disassociate from that.
Speaker 2:Well, and I wonder if that is some sort of like trauma and response about having a kid so young.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's so crazy that he's like graduating and the fact that, like I don't know how he's here, he's still kicking. He's like, if that makes sense, yeah, like I don't know that's. It's weird. I don't know how to sound like say that without it feeling like what the fuck is she talking about? But like I don't know how we got here.
Speaker 2:Like it's crazy do you feel like you don't feel like you're not good enough as a mom? Do you?
Speaker 1:no, I wouldn't say I don't feel not good enough. It's a weird.
Speaker 2:I don't know, do you feel like a fraud at sometimes, like you're just pretending?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it might not necessarily be. I don't know how to describe the way I feel towards parenting, I guess, definitely. I don't think it's like how a lot of normal people feel. If that makes sense, probably something I should talk to a therapist about. I don't think it's like how a lot of normal people feel. If that makes sense, probably something I should talk to a therapist about. I don't really know, it's just, sometimes it's like it almost doesn't feel like my reality. I guess, if that makes sense, I don't know, I don't know why. I mean, obviously I know like I do it every day I love my kids, but sometimes I'm like, oh, I'm a mom, that's weird, that's wild.
Speaker 2:Yeah, especially if you. I feel like I don't know. Did you see yourself as being a mom when you were younger?
Speaker 1:So I definitely had mothering tendencies and you're the oldest. Yeah, I always loved babysitting and taking care of even just of like, even just like my friends, like mothering my friends and being that like mother of wildlings, like I do not want to have kids till I'm like old, like I don't want, like I want to enjoy, like my life, and then I was the first one to have a kid. So I don't know, yeah, it's just, sometimes it almost doesn't feel like that is my reality, like I got three kids and a wife, a wife, you got three kids and a wife.
Speaker 2:No three and a wife. I mean, I'm a wife, you know, yeah, um, do you feel like after your?
Speaker 1:so she had her youngest one when she was 17, 16, 17.
Speaker 2:I was 16 when I got pregnant with Kai and then 17 when I had him do you feel like after you had him, were you like I'm not having any more kids?
Speaker 1:Um, no, because he was a really easy baby. Like he was such a great baby and such a great kid that I definitely knew at some point I wanted to have more kids. I mean definitely not for a long time, but I knew I wanted to have more because he was. I enjoyed it, like I mean I loved being his mom, you know, yeah, which was surprising to me, like I mean I loved being his mom.
Speaker 2:You know, yeah, which was surprising to me. Yeah, I think, yeah, and maybe that's part of it too, like you, just I don't know, I think it's so hard. I feel like there's definitely some dissociation. That happened, yeah, because it was like there's that young point where your brain hasn't stopped growing yet, so, like, like it's just going into, like, all right, let's get this done, yeah, yeah, not like you felt like you need to get over and done with, but like you, I think you probably just like powered through yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know what it is that I got around adulting and parenting. I don't know if it's imposter syndrome or what. What to call it.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't know but yeah it's weird yeah, I definitely think it can be somewhat of imposter syndrome, I'm sure, like I don't know, and it'd be interesting to have like another mom on to talk about it too at some point, because it's like I think it's something a lot of women and probably dads, deal with also. I maybe even more so because I feel like moms a lot of the time deal with all the hands on parts of it and it's I'm sure it's really hard when you feel helpless, as like a parent, as a dad, I'm sure sometimes, yeah, especially if you're breastfeeding I'm sure that's a very hard thing to like yeah, I do feel like Trav.
Speaker 1:I'm so like he. I don't ever feel like it's just me. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, and I'm so grateful and thankful that that's how he is, that he is such like a hands-on dad, because I know that that's not everybody's reality and I couldn't imagine feeling like I'm doing it solo. That's wild.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm sure that helps a lot of feelings that come from it. So, yeah, um, now, when it comes to like us being like owners and leaders and just like in charge of people, how does that come into play for both of us?
Speaker 1:I feel like that's good to talk about so I mean, I personally am like dude, I think we're the shit. Like I think we got this and we're doing great. Like I think that we try to give our staff, you know, like the most like leeway possible. Like we don't want to like.
Speaker 1:For me, this is how I feel. Like I don't want to be your boss. Like you're an adult. You, you, we, we all know what needs to be done. We all need to be self-aware, we all need to clean our shit. Like I shouldn't have to be like hey guys, are you, can you make sure you're switching the laundry? Like that is annoying to me. Like I don't. I don't want to have to have a conversation with you about that If that makes do that. Like I don't really like the term like boss. Like I don't really I don't say I don't believe in bosses. I believe in people being like leaders and mentor and, like you know, inspiring people in that way and you know, being there to help. But I don't really enjoy the those things. I don't want to have to tell you to do stuff that you know you should be doing because, again, you're an adult.
Speaker 2:Right, and I think because, like I am a perfectionist and I do put a lot of identity in what I do for work, I also feel like there's times where I can have that same expectation upon other people because I'm like I put so much energy into this, so like you also should put so much energy into this, and in my mind, obviously, like I have a boundary between like okay, they're not owners, they're not not going to have the same. Like yeah, passion, yeah, exactly, and that's fine. I feel like we also do.
Speaker 1:I don't want to say we. I feel like we want our staff to feel like the like disco cart, like Cowboy is like their space, all sort of yeah, like it is yours too of it. Yeah, like it is yours too, like it's not just like I don't want people to be like you know, oh well, I want it to feel like their space as well. Yeah, you know not that like we're the owners and you know we're just doing this for you, like I want you to feel like this is like your home and yours and you want to like nurture it and like help us build it, you know yeah, and as a leader, I don't really feel like an imposter in that way.
Speaker 2:I feel like it's more so like operating as a leader. I don't really feel like an imposter in that way. I feel like it's more so like operating as a whole. Yeah, like just having I don't know how to explain it.
Speaker 1:I mean I do think as far as like how other salons are run, like I do think we and just coming from other like bigger salons, I do think we have a pretty good system, like I mean there's like little. I mean I mean there's always gonna be little things that are just like well, when we talked about this, I think an episode or two ago.
Speaker 2:Like you know, we've only been open for six or seven months now, like we don't have our shit together fully no, and we never thought we'd have literally like barely any room to expand.
Speaker 1:You know we have emily who's now doing like lashes and brows and lash lifts and tints like I don't think we expected to have any of that. So it's like we just like exploded and we're like holy cow, like this is wild yeah, like no, every chair is filled, there's one extra person.
Speaker 2:That like there's a station sharing situation happening, which I think ideally we would like all of our stations to be shared, except like ours at some point, if people are only here on certain hours, um, and that's kind of like hourly salon, yeah, ideas, but yeah, so I don't know. I think maybe we have some imposter syndrome about like that, because it's like this success that's come, has happened so quick, yeah, and that's our success.
Speaker 1:We're not saying like we're making thousands of dollars, oh my god, no, no, I and I don't even that's not kind of how I rate our success like I I'm gonna get emotional about this, but like hearing live, just being like you know, I just knew I wanted to work for you guys like and where I felt at home, and like like safe, like people feeling safe here, like our clients and, you know, our staff. That is what like that success to me, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know we have. We've provided a space where a lot of people in the area that feel like they are different and are like quirkier or they're queer or they're transgender or they just never felt like they belonged in a salon, like I feel like we've definitely created a space here where they feel safe yeah, like knowing that we can provide that for people, that like there's something more important to me than that, yeah, yeah, and I feel like that's definitely a moment where we're looking back like holy shit, like, yeah, it's seeing our vision come to life so quickly.
Speaker 2:I don't think we ever really imagined. I think we thought it was just gonna be like us, like, yeah, just having fun?
Speaker 1:yeah, we are. We are having fun. I mean, we're so lucky that we like get to come to work to every day and like it's fun, like it doesn't feel like work. I mean, there's days we're tired and we're like, oh, we're tired, but it's still fun.
Speaker 2:You know, at the end of the day, what? What does like having someone's hair absolutely perfect matter? It just doesn't. And I think also like getting better at dealing with like when people are unhappy with like things yeah, and sometimes it's absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1:You did, yeah, and I think it's understanding that too, like knowing that, like sometimes people are just in a bad spot.
Speaker 2:No matter what you do, they're not going to be happy with themselves and they're projecting that back on you yeah, and you know how obsessive I can get about like, yeah, to everyone out there listening who also can get this way. Like if you ask britney, like they're like if somebody's unhappy with their hair, I'm like I'm fucking quitting doing hair. Like, yeah, done, like, and it could be something so stupid. Yes, yeah, so easily. It could be like a toner, like they just need a little bit more toner, and I'm like I'm done, like, go ahead, I'll just like run it from afar because you know this bitch couldn't handle it alone. No, it would be freaking. I don't kids jumping off the roof if you're alone, yeah, but I don't know. It's just such a stupid thing because it is just hair and I always have to remind myself of that.
Speaker 1:And I so part of this like too, like I came from a career where, like it was literally life and death situations every day, so for me it's just like one piece of hair.
Speaker 2:How do you feel about that? When people do get like, so amped up about their hair, yeah, does it make you like oh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I definitely I've gotten better with it, because at first I'm like this just takes like a toner, Like we just got to tone you a little bit and it's going to be fine, like it's not that serious. Also, just like people perceive color so differently, like I had somebody one time this lady's like my hair is red and I'm like your hair is brown, and she's like no, it is red. And like she like pulled people over and was like is my hair red? And they were like no, your hair is brown. Like. And then she like well, and I'm just it was probably like a month or two into my career and I'm like it's, it's brown, like I don't know what to tell you, but she was like adamant that her hair was red and I'm just like yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Clients will come in and they're just like my hair's just gotten so yellow, like I'm just really needing a toner, like just can't believe how yellow it's gotten, and you're like your hair looks so good, like I wish my hair held tone like that, like your hair looks so, which, like that's also us being like proud of our work. But you're also just looking at them like yeah, it is not.
Speaker 1:Yeah I know, but you wouldn't. And but at the same time, like I do want to be like sympathetic because again, like everybody sees as shit differently. So you know you don't want to like um gaslight somebody and like, oh no, like that's what you see, that's what you see and your feelings and stuff are valid, but again, like just try to talk them down, like it's not life or death, we can fix this, it's, it's just hair, it's easy. But definitely.
Speaker 2:But I feel like if somebody has an issue with something, even if it's as simple as a toner, I will like I cannot go, like I want you here now. If you can come in now, then you can. Like I'll take you now, like I'll stay here till nine o'clock at night if I have to, because I don't like I feel like I can't rest till it's taken care of.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I I relate to that. I definitely can feel like that.
Speaker 2:I think it's like getting in your head too about how people are perceiving themselves, and we all know what it's like to like if your hair doesn't feel like you. Yeah, I feel like we all do take that very like. I don't know we get in our head so much if our hair doesn't feel like us and it controls so many aspects of our lives when it doesn't feel like us. So I don't know. Yeah, I definitely feel like if you struggle in the way that I do, you should go to therapy. Yeah, if you can afford it. I mean, and it's not cheap, I don't pay co-pays. I have, um, I have to pay for like insurance on, like I have to pay for my appointments as I go, so like I really can only afford to go once a month, but I I don't think it's normal to feel that way.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think you deserve to like actually enjoy, like your success and everything that you have like put into your business and your career, and you should be able to like take a deep breath and be like damn, like I did that, you know what I mean. Like you should be be able to be proud and enjoy it in that moment and not like be thinking like oh, what can I do better? Or like do I really like deserve all this? Like that I do, you know what I mean? You should be able to sit back and enjoy it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I don't think that can happen on your own. I think we all do need like tools and resources to get to those places, definitely, and I don't think there should be any shame in asking for like help, and I think I hope, even by listening to this and knowing that people aren't alone in their feelings, that that also helps them. Yeah, so yeah all right, guys.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you so much for joining us. Um, yeah, we've got a really great episode planned for our next one, so stay tuned and you'll see what happens. Yep, later.